Original subtitles

DIONYSOS FILMS PRESENTS

A MIIA TERVO FILM

Fuck.

Thanks.

Isn't it great we talked before things got serious?

I'll push it myself!

Dad.

Dad.

Dad.

Well, well.

Repossessor Kinnunen.

Yes?

We need to take a few photos for the web.

What web?

We informed you about the eviction months ago.

Dad!

Dad! -We need to make some room for the photos.

Move him.

Stop staring at me, dickhead.

Dad! Turn it down!

Dad!

Dad? Why didn't you tell me?

Seriously.

We have one week to empty the place.

Come and try this.

It was very cheap.

My Pumpernickel.

A copying machine. For your workplace.

Modems.

This one's damn nice.

A sauna in a bag.

Mom would have been sixty tomorrow.

We should take flowers.

Surely you have a fiver for flowers.

Let's go ice fishing.

Okay, let's go.

Nice colours.

I don't need to sit.

How many 90-day rehab periods can one person get?

Clever girl. -How many times has he been here? 34, 35?

- That's my clever girl. - That's right.

Are you coming?

Don't touch that!

I was wondering where our sleeping bags are.

- Sleeping bags? - Yes, we need two.

- No one's coming here. - I'll find a place for them.

- I'll call the neighbours. - No, you won't!

You'll have a good reason to fix our guest room.

- He could be a criminal! - Come and see for yourself.

Must be a basketball player...

- He is not coming here. - Okay...

- How's Antti? - What do you mean Antti?

Why don't you ask how I'm doing?

As if my life only revolved around men. Excuse me...

He calls me his sweetheart and says that he loves me.

Decent people want to love you and call you a sweetheart.

Or sweetie pie.

- Joni calls me a sweetie pie. - Yuck. You are disgusting.

It's a different routine than last week.

You've made progress.

Oh, shit!

- Shit, it hurts. - Goddamn.

Do you still go and talk to somebody?

Yeah, I do.

Last time we made a relationship chart.

Mine was pretty empty.

Before that we did a treasure map of life.

- Fucking hell... - Don't sniff those here!

I heard that you can earn good money -

by sending panties to japan.

Maybe try the social security centre? They help homeless people.

I'm not homeless.

Or am I? Am I homeless?

Is she Sari Keinänen? The one whose father killed himself.

In the pine forest?

No, that was Hannu Karjalainen.

That's not her. Sari moved to Norway.

I heard you get whale pens from Norway's social security centre.

Sari doesn't need whale pens.

She got a car and a house after living there for three months.

- Nobody gets a house in three months. - She did.

She does colonics there. That pays pretty damn well.

What's a colonic?

I'm not sure if I'll rob a store or a bank,

but I'm gonna free these slaves from their shackles.

No! -Women, stand up against oppression!

Stand up and run to freedom!

Why dance for these old, horny wankers?

These slimy bastards can't tell us girls -

what we can or cannot do!

It's not your fucking job!

You can't throw my friend out. She didn't do anything!

Careful.

What's taking so long?

Lean against that wall.

Someone's wanking in there.

I know. We can do colonics, too.

In Norway.

- Excuse me. Could you move a bit? - Sure.

I can't. I've got Joni.

I don't want to flush anyone's ass with a hose.

Let's take Joni with us.

My battery's dead. Can I borrow your phone?

Thank you. Thank you.

- What's Joni's last name? - Tiuraniemi.

What? How can you even suggest that?

- It's not that... - It's a crime and it's exploitation!

Maybe he really falls in love.

What a happy coincidence, just when he needs asylum.

Why can't we just live normally?

Yeah, normally, with a normal guest room.

With functioning plumbing. That's okay with me.

Or we could have a normal anniversary.

- What anniversary? - Of when we first met.

When we first met... Oh no!

I'm sorry, Juha. I totally forgot.

- I'm sorry. - You've been such a busybody.

Congratulations.

And now you give him the keys.

- What's the matter now? - Nothing.

I thought I'd move to Norway.

You know, that head of yours moves with you.

Yeah...

6.80 euros.

Hey! There's 20 cents missing!

20 cents!

Jope, relax. I'll pay.

Didn't even thank me.

- Hey, seriously! - Wait a sec.

Does he have to be here every night?

- Do you have to be here every night? - Stop it!

I found a possible place for myself.

I could assist this old lady.

You just want to get rid of me, too.

Yes I do.

What are you doing?

Stop it!

Liisa is in good shape.

But we'd all feel safer -

if there was someone else in the house as well.

To babysit me?

Don't start again. What kind of situation do you...

Aurora, have in your life?

My situation's... a bit diverse.

Do you have schooling in nursing?

I'm a qualified nail technician.

And I almost finished high school.

You have excellent grades in your report.

How long are you willing to commit?

I'm going to Norway in a month.

I heard that they pay well for colonics.

And you'll go to your house in Fuengirlo...? Yes.

We'll go to Fuengirola.

We'll start fixing our swimming pool once we get there.

Merja wants an infinity edge.

Arto, control your ass.

Sit or walk, your ass will always talk.

Time to move, then.

- Don't you follow me. - Liisa is getting a bit...

You talk as if I wasn't here.

I want this girl. Arto will draw up the papers.

Put on your safety belt.

You're late.

- I took care of your client. - I'm sorry.

And Aurora, this is illegal.

I could take you to court.

You don't take a quick loan in somebody else's name!

And book 3,500 euro flights to Norway -

for us and Miss Joni.

You're not seriously thinking of becoming an ass flusher, are you?

People just talk and promise things -

when they are drunk.

I thought I'd actually do something about it.

You should be grateful.

You need help.

Thank you.

You can't continue this work if your neck is always sore.

So how the fuck are you going to pay for these?

Bergen is beautiful.

Hi, Jompsuli, my man.

Who will take care of me when I move away?

I really do love you.

Who will make food for me? Massage me?

If you want to eat,

my charity work for today is done.

So pay UP-

Why are you always so angry? - I'm not angry with you.

It just pisses me off -

to always see you so plastered in here.

Don't tell my mum.

- Jope, this guy proposed to me. - Like they all do.

Aurora, your potatoes.

Thanks, jompsuli, for taking care of me.

- Good night. - Good night.

Bye!

You can leave your things there.

This is our sauna department.

You have your own entrance and bathroom.

The swimming pool is for Merja's use only... or ours.

Can I swim there or not?

At least not with your clothes on. A bad joke.

- Why would I have my clothes on? - You can't go there.

The library.

Food is delivered by a home help service.

Liisa sometimes goes over the top.

One of your tasks is to put the brakes on her crazy ideas.

I'll brake then.

- You really know how to sing. - Yes, I do.

Show me how much it costs.

Stop that.

Azar, come down.

Thank you. You know the rules.

- Could you go and play a little more? - No, daddy.

Please. Thank you.

- What the hell? - What?

Who are they?

We've made a deal. I help them, they pay me.

- Then I can pay for the flights. - How were you planning on helping them?

- We're looking for a wife for Darian. - Are you serious?

- What's in there? - I can't see anything.

- No? - No.

- Your horny eye is twitching. - No it isn't!

I swear I won't bang him.

You so want to know how big his Johnson is.

"Johnson" is an international term. Sshh!

This is just like in last spring when you adopted the squirrel.

It's not the same at all.

It shat everywhere and ate the electric wires.

You can clear the dishes!

Behave yourself.

Juha! Okay, I'm leaving now.

I have always wanted lights like these.

Me too.

Well, well...

A real Saudi prince!

Darian just came to Finland.

I'm also a refugee. Tell the Hussein here -

that I was born in Karelia by Lake Ladoga.

I just remembered a song -

my Ma sang when she was baking pies.

I could sing it to you. Tell him I'm gonna sing.

Sit, sit.

My fanny is going wild jumping like a loony.

From floor to ceiling And with a feeling.

My pussy went to St. Petersburg My slit to the city.

There, like a happy bird, My fanny burst into laughter.

Now it's wide open jeering like an oven.

Why is he so serious? We used to sing and laugh all our sorrows away -

whatever the cause.

Ask José if he can sing.

Tell José it helps.

Maybe he needs encouragement.

Take Karelia balsam from the cupboard -

and turn that machine down.

Will do.

Here we go.

Cheers.

Sing away.

Listen to the "reed flute"

that tells its story

and laments its separation.

When I was cut

from the field of reeds

my sigh made men and women weep.

My yearning makes me

want to tear my heart open.

He who comes separated from his origin

keeps searching for the day of reunion.

What a terrible weeping song, my dear son.

It made him feel better.

One's pie is like one's pussy.

- An old saying. - I'm not translating that.

Don't.

I've got to find Darian a wife. And a suit that fits.

A wife?

I see.

Listen. My friend Tuulikki is having a hard time.

She has to constantly explain to her clan -

that she has a girlfriend, or a granny friend.

Those old hags should keep their mouths shut.

I did team gymnastics with her.

Go and fetch clothes from Jorma's wardrobe.

I like your leather jacket.

I think I'll take a little nap.

Good, then you have enough energy on the wedding night.

He didn't kill the old lady.

Oopsie! My back is in a jam again. Help me.

Azar, let's go.

- No, clad! - What are you doing?

Good night.

- Hello. - Hello there.

Let the boy keep his swimming trunks on if he wants to.

It may seem a bit odd. We sit here naked -

and he may have never even seen a sauna.

When in Rome, do as the Romans do.

I've got... very... hairy... balls.

- Pumpernickel. - Here you are.

Thank you. What is this?

A loaf of bread.

- Did you bake this? - I helped.

Tasted it a bit on the way.

No, I can't bring you Esko's homemade wine.

You won't fit through there.

- Bring me one Long Drink. - No, I won't.

- Have some dessert. - Thanks.

At night in a bus.

One tired passenger.

He looks out a frosted window.

As the landscape changes.

He counts the oncoming cars.

As bus stops flash by.

Knowing that any of them Could have been.

The right one.

There were announcements at the station.

Like an invitation you can't escape.

There are things.

That are hurtful and difficult.

Talking won't help you get over them.

Take him with us.

- Liisa. We're gonna have an after-party. - A what?

- An after-party. - Good.

Wanna see what King Crab does?

It goes to the Swedish crab fest.

Aurora!

We found this one at the gas station.

Oh, shit!

- Are you all right? - I went to get...

What was it again? Sour milk?

- My old brain doesn't remember. - Let's go inside.

Whose fancy house is this?

Keep the blanket out of my nose.

Keep it out of my nose.

- Hi, Jorma. This is Dorian. - Darian.

I'm Kari.

He came straight from a warzone. Very traumatized.

I'm trying to keep him alive.

I am Wolfgang.

Why did you burn Lapland?

What are you doing in my leather pants?

Blanket in my nose.

I'll fix it.

Oh, fuck!

- Who was that? - Just this guy called Wolfgang.

He test drives Porsches in Muonio.

I can't handle any strange stuff right now.

Oh, shit!

I'm all right.

Life smiles like a herring in a pint of sour milk.

She's a true hat maker.

Remove me from between the pages. I'm not a subject.

I'm so tired.

Azar!

Azar, what happened?

I miss my mother.

You miss your mother?

So do I.

You scared me.

Wow! A deodorant.

A 150-litre garbage bag?

A woman's independence and freedom must not be violated.

Can't you do something about this?

I could recommend Martta.

Lukas Kroderus from judicial district called and asked for a trainee.

He is on leave and the clerk is ill.

And you haven't said anything.

I didn't know that you're interested in law.

- You want something? - A pack of cigarettes.

Up and groaning already, I see. Tuuli Aurora Ruikka?

- Could you remove this? - Just a second.

You were brought in at 7.34 a.m.

Blood alcohol content... Heavens!

Gastric lavage, four stitches to the right calf -

eight to the right side.

Fortunately your forehead and head didn't need stitches.

A frostbite in the little toe of your left leg.

Patient aggressive and paranoid.

Given sedatives and movement restricted with limb restraints.

No signs of a sexual assault.

Need for psychiatric care to be checked when the patient wakes up.

Who should we call?

A boyfriend, girlfriend, father, mother, aunt?

Okay. When you were brought here -

you shouted for someone called Darian.

We can't help you with love affairs, but with substance abuse we can.

I haven't got a problem.

Could you give me my phone from my pocket?

Of course.

In lab experiments, even rats have become alcoholics. Squirrels, too.

Why else would they eat overripe berries from trees?

I haven't got a problem. Thank you very much.

Fuck my life!

This isn't your first time here.

Having occasional problems with drinking -

doesn't mean you have a drinking problem.

At times when I'm having fun, I go a bit overboard.

Well, did you have fun?

My ex-husband joined this group.

He's been completely sober for seven yea rs.

Here's the number if you want to call them someday.

I'm not gonna go and cry in some shitty alkies' group.

I'll go to the cafeteria.

Good heavens, Pumpernickel.

- I brought you a Christmas present. - Thank you.

Le ban ban, le croissant.

Oh, you're having a private moment.

Here you are.

Is she coming to the party after the wedding?

Aurora. Aurora!

Why are you prowling about, wrapped in that blanket?

You are all mixed-up, clear child. I'll open the door.

I didn't expect you here until tomorrow.

Kinky. Please!

Why should I ever speak to you again?

I don't remember what I said or did yesterday.

- You hit me, for instance. - Really?

Yes.

Then you screamed that I don't understand life at all.

That I should lose someone close to me before I understood.

I'm sorry. -Why do I always expect you to act all normal?

And you insisted on singing Mariah Carey's Without You.

Am I like a typhoon -

hurricane or some other chaotic phenomenon?

You're more like a flame-thrower on rails.

And you just might have a drinking problem.

Problems with drinking doesn't mean you have a drinking problem.

So what does it mean, then?

Fucking hell!

Okay.

Do I have leftovers from today's menu here?

- No, I have felted those. - You mean these ornaments?

Yes. -I use these whenever they fit my clothes.

I have a sample here -

of the things I'm going to send to japan.

- You're head is a bit big. - I don't know if I'll wear this.

- What the hell are you doing? - Me?

- Are you going through his things? - I...

- No, I just had to check... - Check what?

If he has grounds...

Did you know?

Yes, I did.

Why didn't you tell me?

You know about my confidentiality agreement.

We have macaroni casserole.

Juha, I was wondering if they should take that.

That piece of shit? It doesn't even start.

There. Gate 2, and your seat is 25C.

I'll go to the tax free.

- Kinky. - What?

Don't tell me you're not coming.

I'm sorry.

Should I have "I'm sorry" tattooed on my forehead next?

You don't have to.

I wouldn't have had the courage to book the tickets myself.

Welcome.

I'll read the start of chapter five, and the first step.

Then you can just listen, or speak if you want to.

What the fuck, Ulla? Who the fuck is this?

This is Ping. Aurora. Ping is a political dissident.

Pull the choke out.

Have you seen this man?

What the hell? What...?

Oh shit!

This... man.

Kalle, have you seen this guy?

I haven't seen anyone.

- I'm sorry, we haven't seen him. - Thank you.

Translation: Samuli Kauppila, Janne Kauppila and Kalle Niemi