Original subtitles

Good evening.

I've been on Mars, where I went for the opening of a new television station.

It's all part of a scheme

to take the best of our cultural advances to the Martians.

Or Martinis, as they prefer to be called.

They are highly intelligent

and my attempts to educate them were quite successful.

Within a matter of minutes, they were able to spell out,

"Earthman, go home"

using my two companions to form the letters.

It was very gratifying.

As you have doubtless already guessed,

tonight's play is entitled

"Martha Mason, Movie Star."

Henry!

Coming right up.

Sorry, my dear. I'm afraid I overslept this morning.

The lodge lasted till all hours.

Reading of the treasurer's report.

It was very interesting though.

Well, that may be interesting to you, but I don't want to hear about it.

You'll feel more like talking when you've had your coffee.

I wonder how people faced life every morning before coffee was invented.

Silently.

That's pretty good. "Silently."

I must remember that one.

How was your evening? I hope you didn't get too lonesome, my dear.

Oh, I managed.

You know I don't like going away and leaving you alone like that,

but it's only once a week and the lodge is important.

Why don't you join another one then?

Oh, no. No, no. I wouldn't want to do that.

Belonging to a lodge is every man's civic duty,

but joining two would be selfishness.

I'm not the type of man who'd neglect his wife and his home.

Well, what's for breakfast?

I don't know. Why don't you see what's down there?

Couldn't you fix something for yourself this morning?

Now, you wouldn't want me to go to the office with indigestion.

Making coffee is the extent of my skill.

But I don't feel well, really.

I really should sleep in.

But you said you were going to get up early this morning, remember?

There's a new movie with that actress. That...

Oh, what's her name?

You know, the...

one you look like?

You think you're so smart.

I'll bet you keep the lodge in stitches.

Martha Mason, of course.

I don't know why I have so much trouble remembering her name.

No, sir. I just don't see any resemblance.

Oh, get out of here.

All right, my dear.

You call me when breakfast is ready.

I'll be down puttering around in my garden.

Hey!

You almost ran over me.

Well, why don't you look where you're going?

I will, if you're gonna drive that way.

How was the movie?

It was all right.

And your favorite actress?

Oh, well, she is always wonderful.

There was one part... I wanted to scream.

The police came to give her the bad news

and she just stands there for the longest time without saying anything.

And then...

She faints.

Cut!

What?

Cut! Isn't that what they say in the film studios when they finish a scene?

Oh, well, if you're going to be so smart...

I'll have you know that when I was coming out of the movie,

everybody was turning to stare at me.

Why? You look all right to me.

Oh!

Oh, you mean they thought you were Martha Mason?

What's that?

This is fertilizer for the garden. It's a new kind.

They say it'll make anything grow in any type of soil.

Why do you waste your time in that silly old garden?

I'm not wasting my time. This is a new system.

You see, you dig down several feet.

Then you put this underneath the plants.

You've never been able to make anything grow out there yet and you never will.

This is guaranteed.

And I'm making some frames too. Come on, I'll show you.

Oh! I can't stand the smell of that stuff!

Henry!

Will you please stop that pounding?

It's not good for my nerves!

All finished! Come on out and see it!

I don't want to see it.

Come on out and take a look! I've really got something this time.

lt'll only take a moment! Please come out!

Oh, shut up and leave me alone.

Mabel. Did you hear me?

Yes, I heard you! I don't want to see your silly old garden.

I've got something special to show you!

Mabel!

All right, I'm here.

Well, what do you think of it?

All I can see is a hole in the ground.

I built these frames.

Now I can cover the plants with glass in the cold weather.

What plants? Nothing's going to grow here.

You just don't take much interest in anything I do.

But you don't do anything interesting.

Henry, I suppose it just never occurs to you

that being married to you is pretty dull.

Too late now to do much about it.

We could get a divorce.

No.

No, Mabel, I don't approve of divorce.

And you know you don't mean it.

You've got a nice house, a new car, all the clothes you need.

You're much better off than you realize.

I could sue for divorce and there isn't anything you could do about it.

And what would you live on?

You wouldn't get any alimony, I'm afraid. You have no grounds.

And my friend Judge Dubbins doesn't approve of divorce any more than I do.

Well, maybe I could change his mind.

After all, I know a few tricks for the witness stand.

Oh, now I get it.

That movie today. Martha Mason must've been on the witness stand.

Well, my dear, life isn't like the movies and I'm afraid

you don't look any more like Martha Mason

than I do.

He drove me to it.

I begged him to release me,

to give me my freedom.

He refused. He taunted me.

He was cruel and inhuman.

I couldn't stand any more.

I did what any woman would have done.

I killed him,

and now I'm free.

Free!

Free!

Free!

Henry!

Hello?

Mabel? This is Mr. Abernathy. Where's Henry?

Henry? Well, he's not here.

Well, he's not in his office, and he should be. It's...

It's 11:00. Now, where is he?

I don't know.

What? What do you mean?

What's wrong? Is he sick?

He's gone. He's left me.

What? What are you talking about?

It's true, Mr. Abernathy.

Henry's left me for another woman.

He's run off with her.

And after all I've done for him.

All right, Mabel. All right. Now, calm down.

Now, you and Henry had a fight. That happens in every family.

But that doesn't mean he's walked out on you.

But he has. He's gone.

He left a note. He said he was never coming back.

A note? What's he say? Have you got it there?

Yes. It's right here.

Well, read it to me.

He said...

He said he was running away with her.

Mabel, you told me that. Read me what he says.

Never mind. Never mind. Just sit tight. I'll be right out.

Oh, Mr. Abernathy.

Now, don't go to pieces, Mabel. We've got to keep our heads.

Now, where's the note?

Over there.

On the desk.

"Dear Mabel, I have never been worthy of you and I know it,

"so I am taking the coward's way out of everything.

"I am running away with another woman..."

"...another woman who I am not worthy of.

"She is not as beautiful or as charming,

"and she doesn't look like a movie star."

Movie star? What the devil's he talking about?

He means...

He always said

that I resembled Martha Mason, the movie star.

"Since I am unworthy of you,

"I want to let you be free to lead your own life.

"I shall always love you. Henry."

Oh, rubbish! That isn't Henry.

But he signed it. That's his signature.

Well, I know that. But that isn't the real Henry.

Why, there's no one in town as steady and as responsible as Henry.

A responsible man doesn't desert his wife.

Well, Henry's just at that dangerous age.

What is he, 47? Mmm-hmm.

He's having a fling. Well, you know what I mean, Mabel.

He's going through that restless period.

Now, in a week or so, he'll come sneaking back home,

mighty ashamed of himself.

Oh, I don't think he'll ever come back.

Oh, of course he will.

But the best thing to do is not talk about it.

Now, if anybody asks, just tell them that...

Well, that I sent Henry to Chicago on a business trip.

Now, Mabel. You've got to act like nothing's happened.

Keep your spirits up. Go shopping.

Nothing like a new hat to cheer a woman up, they tell me.

You take my word for it.

In a week or two,

Henry will be puttering in that garden as big as life.

You just watch and see.

Mr. Abernathy!

Oh, hello, Mabel. Here, let me help you with that.

Oh, well, thank you very much.

Mabel, come over here a minute.

I've just been admiring Henry's garden. These lilies.

That fertilizer he put on must have been good stuff.

Well, he tried everything.

Finally found something that worked.

Yeah, that proves he'll be back.

A man doesn't work this hard and then just walk out and leave it.

Don't you want to come into the house, Mr. Abernathy?

Yes, I would. I want to have a talk with you, Mabel.

Oh, well, yes.

Thank you, Mr. Abernathy.

Uh, Mabel, I...

I might as well be blunt about this.

You're in for a bad time.

What?

Well, I don't know how it happened,

but word leaked out somehow.

People all over town are whispering

about Henry running off with the other woman.

Oh.

Yes, I know.

Oh, you've already heard about it, have you?

I'm sorry.

I've done the best I could to talk it down.

I've been telling people I sent Henry to Chicago on business,

but it doesn't seem to do any good.

Well, everybody knows what he's done.

There just isn't any use in lying to people.

Well, it makes it all the harder for Henry when he comes back.

Now, we've got to do something about it.

Well, I am doing something.

I'm carrying on the best I can.

It hasn't been easy, I can tell you.

Well, I appreciate that, Mabel,

but we've got to think of Henry.

Well, Henry didn't think of me.

He's made his bed, now he...

Well, I mean, he can get out of it the best he...

I mean, why should it fall on my shoulders?

Well, now, Mabel, there are two sides to everything, you know.

A husband doesn't run away from a happy home.

Now, maybe you haven't been the wife you should be, hmm?

Why, that's a terrible thing to say.

Why, you don't know what I've had to put up with.

You're on his side because he's a lodge brother,

but I'm his wife, and he ran off and deserted me.

Why, I could bring charges against him... Now, simmer down, Mabel.

...for desertion and non-support. I could have him arrested.

All I have to do is to pick up that telephone.

Well, you do that and you'll never see him again.

That's just fine with me! I wouldn't have him back on a bet.

Mabel, put down that phone.

Mabel, I'm warning you.

If you go through with this, I'll wash my hands of the entire affair.

Oh, you don't care about me anyway.

It's that priceless lodge that you're worried about.

That is not true, Mabel. Hello?

This is Mrs. Henry McKay. My husband ran off and left me and...

I want him arrested. Mabel. I'm warning you, Mabel.

Yes.

Oh, well,

could you send an officer over to my house?

I'm just not well enough to go out.

Yes, thank you. What?

Oh, oh, yes. 840 Landing Street.

I had no warning at all.

I just woke up one morning and found this note.

Thank you.

When was this?

About ten days ago.

If you'd reported it at the time, Mrs. McKay...

He's probably out of the state by now.

Well, I...

I had to be sure that it wasn't just a...

A fling, you know?

You see, he's a great deal older than I am.

The restless age.

I thought that if it was just

something he had to get out of his system...

Yes, ma'am, I understand.

Not many wives would look at it that way.

It's a lot more than he deserves.

No decent man runs away with another woman when he's already married.

Thank you, Officer.

Now, if you've got something with his signature on it.

Well, it's on the note.

Yes, ma'am, but I'm supposed to check,

just in case he was kidnapped or something like that.

Oh.

Oh, well, yes, I...

I think I saw something with his signature on it this morning.

Yes.

Here it is.

Yep, no question about it.

That's his signature, all right.

We'll sure do everything we can.

And don't you worry, Mrs. McKay.

I've heard talk in town and everybody's on your side.

Everyone has been so kind.

I try not to let it get me down.

Yeah, not many women could do it.

Thank you, Officer.

Officer,

do you ever see Martha Mason, the movie star?

Sure. My wife drags me to all her pictures.

Why do you ask?

Well, no reason. I just wondered.

Mrs. McKay? Excuse me.

Good afternoon, Mrs. McKay.

I'm sorry to bring you down here.

I'm more than happy to do anything I can.

Well, I have the forms right here.

If you'll just fill these out, it'll make everything official.

Thank you very much.

Mrs. McKay.

Mrs. McKay.

Would you step over here a minute, please?

I haven't finished filling out these forms.

Well, that's all right, ma'am. It isn't necessary.

Oh. Oh.

We think we've found your husband.

Oh, well, it couldn't be Henry.

I mean, he's run off with some girl off the street.

No, ma'am.

Henry didn't run anywhere.

How can you say that? Why, you haven't even looked for him.

Well, who says he didn't run away?

I told them he didn't.

Well, what do you know about it?

I know Henry didn't run off with another woman because...

I'm the other woman.

When we found out about her, we figured maybe Henry was still at home.

So some of the boys went out to your place

and as soon as you left the house,

they started to look around.

You're not going to listen to this woman, are you? Why...

She doesn't even know my husband.

Oh, yes, I do.

Every Thursday night when he was supposed to be at his lodge,

Henry was visiting me.

And he wouldn't go off anywhere without taking me along.

Why, she's lying!

No, ma'am.

The boys saw how well those lilies were doing,

so they dug them up to see why.

And there was Henry.

Hold her for murder.

Poor Mabel.

I'm afraid she just didn't have a green thumb.

That concludes tonight's entertainment.

Next time we shall be back with another story.

Meanwhile, I'm off to another planet.

I've always been curious about Venus.

Good night.