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1
00:00:26,006 --> 00:00:27,064
Good evening.
2
00:00:27,140 --> 00:00:30,166
I'm just completing
a rather interesting device.
3
00:00:30,243 --> 00:00:31,608
I think it will amuse you.
4
00:00:34,815 --> 00:00:36,646
Tonight we are presenting
a story...
5
00:00:37,918 --> 00:00:39,510
I should have explained.
6
00:00:39,586 --> 00:00:40,951
You see,
this is arranged
7
00:00:41,021 --> 00:00:43,888
so that anyone touching
the channel selector
8
00:00:43,990 --> 00:00:45,548
to change programs
9
00:00:45,625 --> 00:00:47,422
gets a nasty shock.
10
00:00:47,794 --> 00:00:50,592
We rather hope we will improve
the loyalty of our viewers.
11
00:00:52,232 --> 00:00:53,426
There goes another one.
12
00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:55,195
It's no trifling matter.
13
00:00:55,268 --> 00:00:57,828
25,000 volts.
14
00:00:58,205 --> 00:01:00,264
Leaves them crisp as bacon.
15
00:01:00,574 --> 00:01:03,065
Unfortunately,
it has one shortcoming.
16
00:01:03,143 --> 00:01:05,703
It also burns out
the television tube,
17
00:01:05,779 --> 00:01:08,009
making it impossible
for the bereaved
18
00:01:08,081 --> 00:01:09,207
to watch
the rest of the show.
19
00:01:10,484 --> 00:01:11,781
Well, nothing is perfect
20
00:01:11,852 --> 00:01:13,752
and there's nothing
like a good practical joke.
21
00:01:13,820 --> 00:01:16,755
At least that's what
a character
in tonight's play thought.
22
00:01:32,539 --> 00:01:34,507
Well, I said to him,
"Where you going?"
23
00:01:34,574 --> 00:01:35,666
He says,
"I don't know."
24
00:01:35,742 --> 00:01:37,437
The next thing I know,
he goes out the door,
25
00:01:37,511 --> 00:01:39,240
and that's the last time
I ever saw him.
26
00:01:42,549 --> 00:01:43,709
That's good.
27
00:01:43,784 --> 00:01:45,513
There you go, Nick,
put a head on it.
28
00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:54,959
Have another beer,
Mr. Halloran?
29
00:01:55,028 --> 00:01:56,586
I'll have another one.
30
00:01:56,897 --> 00:01:58,421
To you, Halloran,
31
00:01:58,498 --> 00:02:00,830
for teaching me two things
in my youth.
32
00:02:03,737 --> 00:02:05,602
This great newspaperman
33
00:02:05,672 --> 00:02:07,401
taught me
never to trust anyone,
34
00:02:07,474 --> 00:02:09,305
especially Mr. Halloran.
35
00:02:09,509 --> 00:02:11,238
But I told you
how to get a story.
36
00:02:11,311 --> 00:02:12,403
Yeah, for a price.
37
00:02:12,479 --> 00:02:13,571
How come?
38
00:02:13,647 --> 00:02:14,978
And what did
Mr. Halloran do?
39
00:02:15,048 --> 00:02:17,414
I was only 20 at the time,
just a cub on the gazette.
40
00:02:17,484 --> 00:02:20,351
I told him to go
to Machine Gun Riley
to get a story.
41
00:02:20,687 --> 00:02:23,087
I figured that Riley
would give the kid
the scare of his life
42
00:02:23,156 --> 00:02:24,885
and just toss him out
on his kisser.
43
00:02:24,958 --> 00:02:27,392
No, you didn't.
It was your idea of a joke.
44
00:02:27,561 --> 00:02:29,256
So, what happened?
45
00:02:29,529 --> 00:02:32,555
Machine Gun Riley
tossed me out of his
second story window
46
00:02:32,999 --> 00:02:34,762
I was in the hospital
for three months.
47
00:02:36,670 --> 00:02:39,833
Mr. Halloran, you haven't
changed in 20 years.
48
00:02:40,073 --> 00:02:41,438
Well, I mean well.
49
00:02:41,675 --> 00:02:44,007
I'm just a guy
who likes a practical joke.
50
00:02:44,911 --> 00:02:46,538
Sure,
you mean well.
51
00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:48,370
Your idea of
a practical joke is
52
00:02:48,448 --> 00:02:50,040
to get somebody
to break a leg.
53
00:02:51,251 --> 00:02:52,684
Well, good night,
you sadist.
54
00:02:52,752 --> 00:02:54,117
I gotta get
back to the desk.
55
00:02:54,187 --> 00:02:55,848
So long.
Good night, Jim.
56
00:02:57,257 --> 00:02:59,384
Any big headlines tonight,
Mr. Halloran?
57
00:02:59,459 --> 00:03:01,393
No. It's the deadest night
in years.
58
00:03:01,461 --> 00:03:03,656
Either a story breaks
or Answers to the Lovelorn
59
00:03:03,730 --> 00:03:06,358
will be the hottest news
in the 9 a.m. final.
60
00:03:06,433 --> 00:03:07,627
Mr. Halloran...
61
00:03:07,701 --> 00:03:10,226
Why, Johnny, my boy,
you woke up!
62
00:03:10,804 --> 00:03:11,964
Will you stake me
to a drink?
63
00:03:12,038 --> 00:03:13,403
Well,
sure, Johnny.
64
00:03:13,473 --> 00:03:14,462
Give him a drink.
65
00:03:14,541 --> 00:03:15,769
Oh, gee, thanks.
66
00:03:15,842 --> 00:03:17,366
What'll it be, John?
67
00:03:17,677 --> 00:03:19,668
Uh, could I...
Could I have the good stuff?
68
00:03:19,846 --> 00:03:22,007
Certainly.
Give him the good stuff.
69
00:03:31,925 --> 00:03:33,517
What's the matter, Johnny?
70
00:03:35,795 --> 00:03:37,888
You didn't have to
do that, Mr. Halloran.
71
00:03:37,964 --> 00:03:40,125
That wasn't funny.
I burnt my tongue.
72
00:03:41,268 --> 00:03:43,429
That was just
a little furniture polish.
73
00:03:43,503 --> 00:03:45,903
John,
here's the good stuff.
74
00:03:45,972 --> 00:03:46,996
And it's on the house.
75
00:03:47,073 --> 00:03:48,665
Oh, thanks a lot,
Nick.
76
00:03:48,742 --> 00:03:50,300
Mr. Halloran! Mr. Halloran!
77
00:03:50,377 --> 00:03:51,571
What's the matter,
Timothy?
78
00:03:51,645 --> 00:03:53,044
Hey, Mr. Halloran,
get a load of this.
79
00:03:53,113 --> 00:03:54,410
It's the morning edition.
80
00:03:54,481 --> 00:03:55,812
Let me see,
what is it?
81
00:03:55,882 --> 00:03:57,076
Let's see.
82
00:03:59,052 --> 00:04:02,180
"World ends tonight, 11:45."
83
00:04:02,255 --> 00:04:04,018
It must be a mistake.
84
00:04:04,090 --> 00:04:06,081
Let me read it.
Let me read it.
85
00:04:06,192 --> 00:04:07,853
What's the matter,
Mr. Halloran?
86
00:04:08,828 --> 00:04:10,295
"Collision with Mars.
87
00:04:11,231 --> 00:04:12,562
"Mars pulled
out of its orbit
88
00:04:12,632 --> 00:04:15,624
"by sudden gravitational shift
in the sun's powers."
89
00:04:16,102 --> 00:04:18,468
Go on.
What else
does it say?
90
00:04:18,538 --> 00:04:20,472
"Mars is pulling
toward the sun
91
00:04:20,540 --> 00:04:22,508
"and rushing for the Earth."
92
00:04:25,078 --> 00:04:27,376
It hits us
at 11:45 tonight.
93
00:04:30,016 --> 00:04:32,041
Gives us
only three hours.
94
00:04:33,587 --> 00:04:35,077
I ain't got my glasses on,
95
00:04:35,155 --> 00:04:37,749
but you say it's all
gonna happen in three hours?
96
00:04:39,859 --> 00:04:42,020
Three hours and goodbye.
97
00:04:42,095 --> 00:04:44,359
Well, maybe
it's just a scare.
98
00:04:44,431 --> 00:04:46,296
Yeah, yeah.
What do you think,
Mr. Halloran?
99
00:04:46,366 --> 00:04:47,890
I don't know.
It says right here
100
00:04:47,968 --> 00:04:50,835
Harvard University
and Palomar both confirm it.
101
00:04:51,838 --> 00:04:54,102
The best astronomers
in the country agree.
102
00:04:56,676 --> 00:04:57,665
Dead.
103
00:04:58,845 --> 00:05:00,676
All of us dead in three hours.
104
00:05:00,747 --> 00:05:03,716
Well, what are we gonna do,
Mr. Halloran?
105
00:05:07,887 --> 00:05:09,013
Where are you
going, Johnny?
106
00:05:09,089 --> 00:05:10,647
I don't know.
107
00:05:10,724 --> 00:05:12,214
If I only got
three hours to live,
108
00:05:12,292 --> 00:05:14,351
I guess I ought to do
something with them hours.
109
00:05:14,427 --> 00:05:17,487
Something I...
Well, I better hurry.
110
00:05:18,798 --> 00:05:20,629
But what are you
gonna do, John?
111
00:05:21,501 --> 00:05:22,763
I don't know.
112
00:05:32,579 --> 00:05:34,809
How that stumblebum
fell for it!
113
00:05:36,082 --> 00:05:37,777
The composing room
sure yelled about
114
00:05:37,851 --> 00:05:40,046
setting up extra type for
a limited edition of one.
115
00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:43,283
So what? Boy, I was scared
that Johnny would read
the rest of the page.
116
00:05:43,356 --> 00:05:46,291
But he hasn't got glasses.
That's what I was counting on.
117
00:05:46,660 --> 00:05:48,025
I wonder what he'll do.
118
00:05:48,094 --> 00:05:49,755
Who cares?
It was a great gag.
119
00:05:49,829 --> 00:05:51,888
You know,
he was mighty scared,
Mr. Halloran.
120
00:05:51,965 --> 00:05:53,762
What the devil's he got
to be scared about?
121
00:05:53,833 --> 00:05:55,460
His world
ended years ago.
122
00:05:55,535 --> 00:05:57,594
Set them up, Nick,
I'll stand the treat.
123
00:05:58,104 --> 00:06:00,470
Just seeing the expression
on the old guy's face
124
00:06:00,540 --> 00:06:02,064
was worth the trouble.
125
00:06:02,142 --> 00:06:03,575
End of the world.
126
00:06:17,991 --> 00:06:19,185
Mr. Stern.
127
00:06:21,161 --> 00:06:22,355
Mr. Stern.
128
00:06:23,229 --> 00:06:25,891
Oh, it's you, Johnny.
The usual half pint?
129
00:06:25,965 --> 00:06:27,489
Oh, I ain't got
any money.
130
00:06:27,967 --> 00:06:30,299
But that don't matter
no more, does it?
131
00:06:30,370 --> 00:06:33,862
I mean, seeing
as how we only got
a few hours left.
132
00:06:34,074 --> 00:06:35,439
What are you
gabbing about?
133
00:06:35,508 --> 00:06:37,339
Ain't you heard, Mr. Stern?
134
00:06:37,610 --> 00:06:39,976
The world's coming
to an end at 11:45.
135
00:06:40,947 --> 00:06:43,211
Sure, sure.
136
00:06:43,283 --> 00:06:45,012
So I tell you what, Johnny,
137
00:06:45,285 --> 00:06:47,776
because the world
is coming to an end,
138
00:06:47,854 --> 00:06:50,186
I'll put you on the cuff
for a half a pint.
139
00:06:50,657 --> 00:06:52,215
You can pay me next week.
140
00:06:52,292 --> 00:06:54,123
This ain't no time
to joke, Mr. Stern.
141
00:06:54,194 --> 00:06:56,219
Next week
we won't be here.
142
00:06:56,296 --> 00:06:58,594
Why can't you give me
some real good liquor?
143
00:06:58,665 --> 00:07:01,429
It can't make no difference
now to you or to me.
144
00:07:01,501 --> 00:07:04,561
All of us ought to do
something good for
the little time we got left,
145
00:07:04,637 --> 00:07:06,036
something decent.
146
00:07:07,340 --> 00:07:09,035
You could do me
a big favor.
147
00:07:09,476 --> 00:07:11,376
Just once more
before I die,
148
00:07:11,878 --> 00:07:14,108
I'd like to taste
fine stuff like that.
149
00:07:15,115 --> 00:07:17,640
There was a time
I used to drink
imported cognac,
150
00:07:17,717 --> 00:07:19,082
believe it or not.
151
00:07:19,552 --> 00:07:21,042
Look, Johnny,
152
00:07:21,121 --> 00:07:22,816
I'm taking inventory.
153
00:07:22,889 --> 00:07:26,325
It's late. I'm a busy man.
Leave me alone, huh?
154
00:07:27,327 --> 00:07:29,227
Now, take this
and leave.
155
00:07:45,845 --> 00:07:47,335
I said beat it, Johnny.
156
00:07:54,521 --> 00:07:56,216
You come back, Johnny!
157
00:07:56,489 --> 00:07:57,854
Come back here, Johnny!
158
00:08:06,332 --> 00:08:07,560
Give me the police.
159
00:08:24,017 --> 00:08:25,644
Can't let a man alone.
160
00:08:26,820 --> 00:08:28,287
Never did them no harm.
161
00:08:29,622 --> 00:08:31,681
It's no time
to be mean to anybody.
162
00:08:48,575 --> 00:08:51,567
Oh, dear,
I'm so sorry.
163
00:08:52,078 --> 00:08:54,205
You were taking wine
home for dinner?
164
00:08:54,848 --> 00:08:56,145
And the bottles
are all broken.
165
00:08:57,350 --> 00:09:00,342
And your nice coat
is all spotted!
166
00:09:01,855 --> 00:09:04,619
Yes, ma'am, wine.
167
00:09:05,258 --> 00:09:07,226
Well, I must
make amends.
168
00:09:08,228 --> 00:09:10,526
I only live
around the corner.
169
00:09:10,597 --> 00:09:12,394
I could clean your coat
170
00:09:12,465 --> 00:09:15,025
and give you
a nice hot cup of tea.
171
00:09:16,302 --> 00:09:18,964
Come, Fritzi,
that's a good girl.
172
00:09:19,038 --> 00:09:21,165
That's a good girl.
173
00:09:21,274 --> 00:09:22,673
Come on, Mimi.
174
00:09:24,777 --> 00:09:26,972
Here we are
at home at last.
175
00:09:27,747 --> 00:09:30,511
You come right along.
Here we go.
176
00:09:30,583 --> 00:09:33,711
Cheetah. Come on, Mimi.
Come along.
177
00:09:33,853 --> 00:09:35,377
That's it.
178
00:09:35,622 --> 00:09:38,182
Down we go,
and we're going right
into your room.
179
00:09:38,291 --> 00:09:41,158
Oh, uh, do make yourself
comfortable, Mr...
180
00:09:41,227 --> 00:09:42,353
Call me Johnny.
181
00:09:42,428 --> 00:09:45,261
Oh, no,
not on such short notice.
182
00:09:46,733 --> 00:09:48,462
I'm Miss Green.
183
00:09:48,568 --> 00:09:50,229
Felicia Green.
184
00:09:50,737 --> 00:09:53,467
Now, you all have
a lovely sleep
185
00:09:53,539 --> 00:09:55,473
and dream
about beautiful bones
186
00:09:55,541 --> 00:09:57,099
and nasty cats.
187
00:09:59,746 --> 00:10:01,008
May I help you?
188
00:10:01,114 --> 00:10:02,342
Oh, thank you.
189
00:10:03,816 --> 00:10:05,579
Tea next.
190
00:10:08,988 --> 00:10:10,216
Uh, Miss Green,
191
00:10:11,057 --> 00:10:12,354
what time is it?
192
00:10:12,425 --> 00:10:13,551
It's rather late.
193
00:10:13,626 --> 00:10:15,617
My clock says 10:10.
194
00:10:25,538 --> 00:10:27,096
Now, the kettle's on
195
00:10:27,173 --> 00:10:29,767
and soon we'll have
a sizzling cup of hot tea.
196
00:10:30,677 --> 00:10:33,646
Now, please, may I have
your jacket so I can clean it?
197
00:10:35,048 --> 00:10:36,709
Do as I say.
198
00:10:36,849 --> 00:10:38,441
I sure was lucky.
199
00:10:38,518 --> 00:10:39,644
Lucky? How?
200
00:10:39,719 --> 00:10:42,779
I mean, something
wonderful happening
at a time like this.
201
00:10:42,989 --> 00:10:44,251
What do you mean?
202
00:10:44,324 --> 00:10:45,348
I mean...
203
00:10:45,425 --> 00:10:47,325
Well, just when
it's all coming to an end.
204
00:10:47,393 --> 00:10:49,293
Whatever
is coming to an end?
205
00:10:49,362 --> 00:10:51,296
Oh, you ain't seen
the paper?
206
00:10:51,531 --> 00:10:52,828
No, I haven't.
207
00:10:52,999 --> 00:10:54,466
But what about
the paper?
208
00:10:54,534 --> 00:10:55,933
Well, I...
209
00:10:57,303 --> 00:10:58,634
The tea.
210
00:11:02,041 --> 00:11:03,633
What were you saying?
211
00:11:03,710 --> 00:11:05,337
It doesn't matter.
212
00:11:05,411 --> 00:11:06,605
Come in here.
213
00:11:08,715 --> 00:11:09,943
Sit there.
214
00:11:11,017 --> 00:11:12,143
Do sit down.
215
00:11:12,218 --> 00:11:13,344
Thank you.
216
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:21,886
Thanks.
217
00:11:30,336 --> 00:11:31,997
You don't like tea?
218
00:11:32,071 --> 00:11:33,163
It's hot.
219
00:11:34,474 --> 00:11:36,772
Do you know,
you are the first gentleman
220
00:11:36,843 --> 00:11:39,641
in 15 years,
since Gregory,
221
00:11:39,712 --> 00:11:41,407
who's been allowed
in this house?
222
00:11:41,581 --> 00:11:42,707
Uh, Gregory?
223
00:11:42,782 --> 00:11:44,215
He's the largest one.
224
00:11:44,283 --> 00:11:46,911
The German shepherd
with the beautiful tail.
225
00:11:47,086 --> 00:11:49,611
I don't understand
how a nice lady like you,
226
00:11:49,689 --> 00:11:51,623
I mean,
isn't married.
227
00:11:52,725 --> 00:11:55,285
Well, when I was young,
I had high hopes.
228
00:11:55,361 --> 00:11:58,091
But then as the years passed,
no one asked.
229
00:11:59,198 --> 00:12:00,426
Do drink your tea.
230
00:12:00,967 --> 00:12:02,229
Ain't it been lonesome?
231
00:12:02,301 --> 00:12:03,768
Oh, gracious, no.
232
00:12:04,637 --> 00:12:05,899
With my church work
233
00:12:05,972 --> 00:12:08,532
and the dogs
and walking in the park...
234
00:12:09,142 --> 00:12:11,303
I don't have time
to be lonely.
235
00:12:12,011 --> 00:12:13,171
You've been lucky.
236
00:12:14,514 --> 00:12:15,674
Are you married?
237
00:12:16,282 --> 00:12:17,442
I was.
238
00:12:17,617 --> 00:12:18,606
Oh.
239
00:12:18,684 --> 00:12:20,345
She died, the baby died.
240
00:12:20,553 --> 00:12:21,679
Long ago?
241
00:12:21,754 --> 00:12:23,221
Thirty years.
242
00:12:24,090 --> 00:12:25,580
There's no one left?
243
00:12:26,059 --> 00:12:29,028
I got an older brother, Chuck,
I ain't seen years and years.
244
00:12:29,228 --> 00:12:30,217
Funny.
245
00:12:30,596 --> 00:12:33,030
I ain't thought about
any of it in a long time.
246
00:12:33,166 --> 00:12:37,262
Oh, I'm so sorry
to have asked you questions
247
00:12:37,336 --> 00:12:39,236
of such a personal nature.
248
00:12:39,305 --> 00:12:41,068
Oh, no. That's all right.
249
00:12:41,174 --> 00:12:43,802
It's just that I ain't had
nobody to talk with.
250
00:12:43,876 --> 00:12:45,571
I guess that's why
I ain't thought about her,
251
00:12:45,645 --> 00:12:47,010
or the baby or Chuck.
252
00:12:47,914 --> 00:12:49,438
When you ain't got
nobody to talk with,
253
00:12:49,515 --> 00:12:51,847
you don't do much
thinking or remembering.
254
00:12:55,154 --> 00:12:57,054
Is anything
the matter?
255
00:12:57,790 --> 00:12:58,848
Oh, no.
256
00:12:58,925 --> 00:12:59,949
Ma'am?
257
00:13:00,026 --> 00:13:01,084
Yes.
258
00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:02,354
Miss Green,
259
00:13:02,762 --> 00:13:05,390
could I put a little
something stronger
in this tea?
260
00:13:05,465 --> 00:13:08,059
Oh, dear.
If you must.
261
00:13:08,568 --> 00:13:09,660
Thank you.
262
00:13:17,310 --> 00:13:20,177
Oh, I wish you would have
just a little.
263
00:13:20,246 --> 00:13:21,770
It flavors the tea.
264
00:13:22,048 --> 00:13:24,744
Just perhaps
a few drops.
265
00:13:41,601 --> 00:13:43,228
Here, Johnny.
266
00:13:43,402 --> 00:13:45,563
The spots
are almost gone.
267
00:13:45,638 --> 00:13:47,435
Thanks, Felicia.
268
00:13:52,445 --> 00:13:54,640
Oh, what time is it?
269
00:13:55,681 --> 00:13:57,842
It's a little after
10:30.
270
00:13:58,484 --> 00:13:59,712
Is anything wrong?
271
00:14:00,052 --> 00:14:01,815
Do you have
an appointment?
272
00:14:01,888 --> 00:14:03,116
We all have.
273
00:14:03,623 --> 00:14:04,612
What do you mean?
274
00:14:04,690 --> 00:14:06,123
Oh, I ain't complaining.
275
00:14:06,192 --> 00:14:08,183
Nobody on earth is
as lucky as I am.
276
00:14:08,261 --> 00:14:11,025
Having somebody
like you to be with
until the world ends.
277
00:14:11,164 --> 00:14:12,358
What did you say?
278
00:14:12,431 --> 00:14:14,365
I thought
I'd end my days alone.
279
00:14:14,433 --> 00:14:17,402
But now I'll be with you
until it's all over.
280
00:14:17,470 --> 00:14:19,495
I don't know
what you mean,
281
00:14:19,572 --> 00:14:21,506
but you can't stay here
in this house.
282
00:14:21,574 --> 00:14:23,337
It's quite unthinkable.
283
00:14:23,409 --> 00:14:25,969
Look, Felicia,
we're both in the same boat.
284
00:14:26,045 --> 00:14:27,910
Isn't it good to know that
you'll be with someone
285
00:14:27,980 --> 00:14:29,504
till the whole world blows up?
286
00:14:29,582 --> 00:14:30,879
And us with it, dead?
287
00:14:31,117 --> 00:14:33,711
It should make you feel
kind of peaceful.
288
00:14:33,786 --> 00:14:35,014
It does me.
289
00:14:35,354 --> 00:14:37,652
You and me together
until it's all over.
290
00:14:37,723 --> 00:14:39,190
You mustn't talk like that.
291
00:14:39,458 --> 00:14:41,187
You mustn't talk like that.
292
00:14:41,260 --> 00:14:42,625
You don't get it.
293
00:14:43,563 --> 00:14:44,928
I may not be the best.
294
00:14:44,997 --> 00:14:47,522
I mean, I may not be
the finest guy
to end your days with,
295
00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:48,589
but look, Felicia...
296
00:14:48,668 --> 00:14:49,999
You are insane.
297
00:14:50,069 --> 00:14:51,502
You're insane!
298
00:14:51,571 --> 00:14:53,505
No, no. No,
you don't understand.
299
00:14:53,573 --> 00:14:54,767
No, no!
300
00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:56,808
Help, help!
301
00:14:58,544 --> 00:15:00,273
Help!
What's going on here?
302
00:15:00,346 --> 00:15:03,042
Get him out of here.
He's insane.
303
00:15:03,182 --> 00:15:04,774
She doesn't understand.
304
00:15:04,850 --> 00:15:06,545
The world's coming
to an end at 11:45.
305
00:15:06,619 --> 00:15:09,144
I know your kind.
And such a nice lady, too!
306
00:15:09,222 --> 00:15:10,985
Don't worry, ma'am,
I'll call the cops.
307
00:15:11,057 --> 00:15:12,581
Come along, you...
308
00:15:13,759 --> 00:15:14,885
Hey!
309
00:15:16,829 --> 00:15:18,057
I'm sorry.
310
00:15:23,236 --> 00:15:25,864
Hello, Operator?
Police, please.
311
00:16:12,018 --> 00:16:14,248
Nothing I do is right.
312
00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:17,084
A guy tries to do decent
the last night of his life...
313
00:16:17,623 --> 00:16:19,887
Nothing goes right. Nothing.
314
00:16:28,467 --> 00:16:30,867
What's the matter, mister?
You sick or something?
315
00:16:31,504 --> 00:16:32,937
Hello, kids.
316
00:16:33,005 --> 00:16:34,472
No, no.
I'm okay.
317
00:16:35,207 --> 00:16:37,437
What are you doing
in this alley
so late at night?
318
00:16:37,510 --> 00:16:39,205
You ought to be home
with your folks.
319
00:16:39,278 --> 00:16:41,269
Sure, right now
you ought to be
with your family.
320
00:16:41,347 --> 00:16:43,406
That's a joke, mister.
We ain't got no family.
321
00:16:43,482 --> 00:16:44,813
We ain't got nobody.
322
00:16:45,985 --> 00:16:47,418
11:00.
323
00:16:48,054 --> 00:16:49,316
Less than an hour.
324
00:16:50,056 --> 00:16:51,353
What's the matter, mister?
325
00:16:51,424 --> 00:16:52,550
You're
the youngest?
326
00:16:52,625 --> 00:16:53,683
Yeah, I'm eight.
327
00:16:53,759 --> 00:16:54,817
Eight.
328
00:16:54,894 --> 00:16:56,759
I had a dirty face
and a cowlick
329
00:16:56,829 --> 00:16:58,296
when I was eight, too.
330
00:16:59,932 --> 00:17:01,058
Gee.
331
00:17:02,234 --> 00:17:04,964
What would you kids like more
than anything in the world?
332
00:17:05,037 --> 00:17:06,163
Name it.
333
00:17:06,238 --> 00:17:08,297
A rifle,
a hunting rifle.
334
00:17:08,374 --> 00:17:09,602
A basketball.
335
00:17:09,675 --> 00:17:12,576
Gee, mister, if you knew
how I want a basketball!
336
00:17:13,179 --> 00:17:14,578
And you, son?
What about you?
337
00:17:14,647 --> 00:17:15,705
Me?
338
00:17:15,781 --> 00:17:16,907
Yeah,
what would you like?
339
00:17:16,982 --> 00:17:18,006
I don't know.
340
00:17:18,084 --> 00:17:21,144
Maybe a baseball bat
and a glove and a ball?
341
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:22,912
Or maybe a bicycle,
342
00:17:22,988 --> 00:17:24,819
like I wanted
when I was your age.
343
00:17:24,890 --> 00:17:27,415
Come on, kids.
You're all gonna get
whatever you want!
344
00:17:27,493 --> 00:17:29,256
Come on!
What?
345
00:17:29,328 --> 00:17:30,352
You're kidding.
346
00:17:30,429 --> 00:17:32,192
No, I'm not kidding.
I mean it.
347
00:18:17,910 --> 00:18:19,400
Gee whiz!
348
00:18:19,745 --> 00:18:21,804
Come and get 'em, kids.
Come and get 'em!
349
00:18:36,529 --> 00:18:38,053
Which one?
Which one?
350
00:18:38,130 --> 00:18:40,826
Gee, I don't know, mister.
They're all so swell.
351
00:18:40,900 --> 00:18:42,731
Take 'em all.
Take 'em all.
352
00:18:43,969 --> 00:18:45,197
Bang! Bang! Bang!
353
00:18:45,271 --> 00:18:47,796
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
354
00:18:48,307 --> 00:18:49,797
You happy, kid?
Happy?
355
00:18:49,875 --> 00:18:51,274
Gee, sure!
356
00:18:51,977 --> 00:18:53,205
Come on!
357
00:18:54,246 --> 00:18:55,713
Boy, a radio!
358
00:18:55,781 --> 00:18:58,614
Come on!
Here, try it, kid. Try it.
359
00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:01,313
Good.
360
00:19:01,387 --> 00:19:04,254
Three, five...
361
00:19:05,858 --> 00:19:07,086
Bull's eye!
362
00:19:07,159 --> 00:19:08,456
Great!
363
00:19:08,527 --> 00:19:10,392
Let's try it again.
364
00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:16,328
Great!
365
00:19:18,637 --> 00:19:21,834
Let me ride!
Let me ride.
366
00:19:24,043 --> 00:19:25,169
Let me ride.
367
00:19:28,781 --> 00:19:31,113
It's wonderful,
ain't it, kids? Wonderful.
368
00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:36,249
Look, mister, look!
369
00:19:36,989 --> 00:19:38,115
Hey, mister, look!
370
00:19:42,728 --> 00:19:44,457
Gee, this is a beauty.
371
00:19:44,530 --> 00:19:46,521
It's an automatic.
But it ain't loaded.
372
00:19:46,866 --> 00:19:48,595
That's easy. Let's load it.
373
00:20:01,881 --> 00:20:03,041
Hey, look!
374
00:20:23,035 --> 00:20:24,024
No, you don't.
375
00:20:24,103 --> 00:20:26,401
Don't hurt me, mister,
don't hurt me!
Don't move!
376
00:20:26,472 --> 00:20:28,133
This ain't no time
to go hurting a kid.
377
00:20:28,207 --> 00:20:30,198
Leave him alone,
you hear me?
Leave him alone!
378
00:20:30,276 --> 00:20:31,937
Just stay where you are
till the cops come.
379
00:20:32,011 --> 00:20:34,377
The world coming to an end,
you keeping kids
from being happy.
380
00:20:34,446 --> 00:20:36,744
They only got
a few minutes and you
take it away from them.
381
00:20:36,815 --> 00:20:39,807
You let that kid go,
do you hear me?
You let that kid go!
382
00:20:40,953 --> 00:20:42,784
Don't come near me.
383
00:20:43,455 --> 00:20:46,015
Don't. Don't. Don't.
384
00:20:50,663 --> 00:20:52,062
Hey,
let's beat it.
385
00:20:52,131 --> 00:20:53,291
Yeah.
386
00:22:13,178 --> 00:22:14,577
Where's
the latest one?
387
00:22:14,647 --> 00:22:16,114
What do you mean,
bud?
388
00:22:16,382 --> 00:22:17,440
The real headline.
389
00:22:17,516 --> 00:22:19,347
The one about
the world coming to an end.
390
00:22:19,418 --> 00:22:20,680
You screwy
or something?
391
00:22:20,753 --> 00:22:21,913
Stop fooling me.
392
00:22:22,121 --> 00:22:24,783
There ain't no time.
I saw it right in the paper.
393
00:22:24,857 --> 00:22:26,484
Look, you got
all three newspapers
394
00:22:26,558 --> 00:22:28,890
right in front of you
with all the latest news.
395
00:22:28,961 --> 00:22:30,826
Now which one
you gonna buy?
396
00:22:48,013 --> 00:22:49,037
What's wild?
397
00:22:49,114 --> 00:22:50,376
One-eyed jacks.
398
00:22:50,749 --> 00:22:51,773
Cards.
399
00:22:51,850 --> 00:22:53,147
I'm out.
400
00:22:53,352 --> 00:22:55,547
I'll take one off the top.
Good one.
401
00:22:56,889 --> 00:22:58,447
Another round,
Mr. Halloran?
402
00:22:58,624 --> 00:23:01,559
Yeah, Nick, and listen,
call up the hamburger joint
403
00:23:01,627 --> 00:23:02,821
and order
a load of sandwiches.
404
00:23:02,895 --> 00:23:04,123
Okay,
Mr. Halloran.
405
00:23:04,396 --> 00:23:05,454
Your bet.
406
00:23:16,775 --> 00:23:17,833
Mr. Halloran.
407
00:23:20,379 --> 00:23:23,439
Why, look, Johnny,
it was only a joke.
408
00:23:23,515 --> 00:23:26,040
But every joke's gotta have
a payoff, Mr. Halloran.
409
00:23:26,318 --> 00:23:28,081
This joke's gotta
have a payoff, too.
410
00:23:45,370 --> 00:23:48,464
Well, it couldn't have
happened to a nicer fellow.
411
00:23:49,007 --> 00:23:50,269
Unfortunately,
412
00:23:50,342 --> 00:23:53,539
justice had to be
meted out to Johnny Gin.
413
00:23:53,612 --> 00:23:56,308
However, that is all
for this evening.
414
00:23:56,381 --> 00:23:58,315
I hope
you'll join us next time
415
00:23:58,383 --> 00:24:00,442
when we shall return
with another story.
416
00:24:00,519 --> 00:24:04,148
We also hope to have
the bugs out
of this little device.
417
00:24:04,223 --> 00:24:05,417
Good night.
29550
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