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1
00:00:25,472 --> 00:00:26,666
Good evening.
2
00:00:27,841 --> 00:00:32,744
Most of you have
doubtless read how
Anne Boleyn lost her head.
3
00:00:33,814 --> 00:00:37,545
King Henry Vlll,
no longer fascinated, said,
4
00:00:38,051 --> 00:00:40,019
"Let her be decapitated."
5
00:00:40,954 --> 00:00:42,945
Thereupon the legend goes
6
00:00:43,757 --> 00:00:48,717
her ghost roamed about
each night with utmost
dignity and charm,
7
00:00:49,596 --> 00:00:53,828
with her head tucked
underneath her arm.
8
00:00:56,002 --> 00:00:58,971
Now with two heads
it occurs to me
9
00:00:59,473 --> 00:01:01,771
I can think more clearly
than with three.
10
00:01:01,842 --> 00:01:05,209
However,
if the worst should come,
11
00:01:05,846 --> 00:01:07,939
one head's a basic minimum.
12
00:01:08,115 --> 00:01:10,276
Therefore, in my work,
13
00:01:10,350 --> 00:01:13,615
I hardly dare to roam about
without one spare.
14
00:01:14,788 --> 00:01:17,552
Tonight's legend
tells of modern life
15
00:01:18,692 --> 00:01:20,387
and how to solve a problem:
16
00:01:21,328 --> 00:01:22,317
Wife.
17
00:10:42,755 --> 00:10:44,347
I was only doing 35, Officer.
18
00:10:44,424 --> 00:10:47,188
What I stopped you for
has got nothing to do
with speeding.
19
00:10:54,701 --> 00:10:57,295
Why, I don't understand.
I was driving real careful.
20
00:10:57,370 --> 00:10:59,861
It's got nothing to do
with your driving, either.
21
00:11:00,974 --> 00:11:02,441
You've got a taillight out.
22
00:11:03,076 --> 00:11:04,065
Oh?
23
00:11:05,044 --> 00:11:07,308
Well, it was all right
when I left the house.
24
00:11:07,380 --> 00:11:09,075
Well, it's not all right now.
25
00:11:09,582 --> 00:11:11,379
Let's see your
driver's license.
26
00:11:22,028 --> 00:11:24,519
Oh, from Edgetown, huh?
Yeah.
27
00:11:24,964 --> 00:11:26,124
Where you headed?
28
00:11:26,733 --> 00:11:28,257
Oh, nowhere in particular.
29
00:11:28,334 --> 00:11:30,928
I was just out
taking a little drive.
30
00:11:31,804 --> 00:11:34,034
What are you going to do
about the taillight?
31
00:11:34,507 --> 00:11:37,067
I'll have it fixed
first thing in the morning.
32
00:11:37,677 --> 00:11:39,144
No, that's not
good enough.
33
00:11:39,379 --> 00:11:41,370
You can't be driving around
with that taillight out.
34
00:11:41,447 --> 00:11:42,971
That's how accidents happen.
35
00:11:43,950 --> 00:11:45,611
Well, I don't know
what I can do.
36
00:11:45,685 --> 00:11:47,175
Well, you can
get it fixed.
37
00:11:47,754 --> 00:11:50,279
There's a gas station
about a mile back,
on the main highway.
38
00:11:51,491 --> 00:11:52,981
Oh, well, I'll go right there.
39
00:11:53,059 --> 00:11:55,425
Yeah. See that you do.
40
00:11:55,528 --> 00:11:56,517
Yep.
41
00:12:51,851 --> 00:12:54,649
Fill her up?
No. I need a new bulb
for my taillight.
42
00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:55,914
And I'm in a hurry.
43
00:12:55,988 --> 00:12:57,615
Everyone always is.
44
00:13:13,673 --> 00:13:15,402
Here you are,
mister.
45
00:13:16,175 --> 00:13:18,439
What's the matter?
You nervous or something?
46
00:13:18,511 --> 00:13:21,446
Just give me the bulb.
Don't you want me
to put it in for you?
47
00:13:35,328 --> 00:13:36,659
Maybe you'd better.
48
00:13:36,729 --> 00:13:37,855
Okay.
49
00:14:42,828 --> 00:14:45,023
What do you make of that?
It don't work.
50
00:14:47,266 --> 00:14:49,826
Maybe the bulb's no good.
Not a chance.
It's brand new.
51
00:14:49,902 --> 00:14:51,335
I just took it
out of the package.
52
00:14:51,404 --> 00:14:52,769
It could be
defective anyway.
53
00:14:52,838 --> 00:14:55,705
Nuts. Nothing wrong with that.
54
00:14:57,310 --> 00:14:58,777
What's the matter, Red?
55
00:15:00,346 --> 00:15:01,973
What's the trouble all about?
56
00:15:03,316 --> 00:15:05,580
Take a look at this bulb
and tell me what you think.
57
00:15:08,054 --> 00:15:09,749
Looks all right.
58
00:15:09,822 --> 00:15:11,983
Put it back in
and jiggle it around
a little bit.
59
00:15:12,058 --> 00:15:13,082
Sometimes that'll do it.
60
00:15:13,159 --> 00:15:14,649
Already done that.
61
00:15:15,127 --> 00:15:16,389
Nope. Don't work.
62
00:15:16,462 --> 00:15:17,759
Wait a minute.
63
00:15:23,970 --> 00:15:25,904
Now, you got
a defective wire.
64
00:15:27,373 --> 00:15:30,536
What do you got in the trunk?
Seems to be loaded down
pretty good.
65
00:15:31,143 --> 00:15:35,443
Uh, just some tools I forgot
to take out at the house.
They're kind of heavy.
66
00:15:35,514 --> 00:15:37,505
That's what did it.
Yeah.
67
00:15:37,650 --> 00:15:41,142
One of those tools probably
rubbed against a frayed wire
and grounded it out.
68
00:15:41,220 --> 00:15:42,346
Where's the key?
69
00:15:43,789 --> 00:15:44,778
Key?
70
00:15:45,124 --> 00:15:48,150
Yeah.
We'll open the trunk
and Red can take a look at it.
71
00:15:48,261 --> 00:15:50,161
Probably fix it
with a piece of tape.
72
00:15:53,899 --> 00:15:55,730
What's the matter?
You sick or something?
73
00:16:12,385 --> 00:16:15,354
I only got the ignition key.
I must've left the trunk key
at home.
74
00:16:15,421 --> 00:16:18,117
Oh. Well, this light's
got to be fixed.
75
00:16:18,190 --> 00:16:20,283
There's been
a lot of accidents
on this highway lately
76
00:16:20,359 --> 00:16:21,883
and this could cause
another one.
77
00:16:22,795 --> 00:16:25,923
You know, sometimes
you can spring these open
on these old cars.
78
00:16:27,566 --> 00:16:28,555
No.
79
00:16:29,302 --> 00:16:30,291
Huh?
80
00:16:31,304 --> 00:16:34,398
Well, I mean, can't you
just give me a ticket
and get it over with?
81
00:16:36,409 --> 00:16:37,398
Well, why?
82
00:16:37,810 --> 00:16:41,268
Well, it'd be a lot cheaper
in the long run
than ruining the lock.
83
00:16:43,482 --> 00:16:45,211
Sure, I could
give you a ticket.
84
00:16:45,651 --> 00:16:48,415
But that wouldn't fix
that taillight,
now, would it?
85
00:16:49,755 --> 00:16:51,746
I asked you a question.
Would it?
86
00:16:52,124 --> 00:16:53,557
Well, locks are expensive.
87
00:16:53,626 --> 00:16:55,093
So they're expensive.
88
00:16:55,661 --> 00:16:58,960
Look, suppose a guy
comes along and runs
into your rear.
89
00:16:59,031 --> 00:17:01,499
You know, mistakes you
for a motorcycle or something.
90
00:17:01,567 --> 00:17:03,159
Or maybe he's half-tanked.
91
00:17:03,235 --> 00:17:05,226
Now, you both
wind up in the hospital.
92
00:17:05,304 --> 00:17:07,329
Is that cheaper than
buying a new lock?
93
00:17:08,541 --> 00:17:09,701
No, I suppose not.
94
00:17:09,875 --> 00:17:12,537
Now, I know you're afraid
I'll scratch your car
95
00:17:12,611 --> 00:17:14,738
and that would lower
the trade-in value.
96
00:17:16,649 --> 00:17:18,480
You know, some of you guys
make me laugh.
97
00:17:18,551 --> 00:17:21,349
You treat these old cars
like they're old ladies.
98
00:17:21,954 --> 00:17:24,149
Red, get me a crowbar.
Sure.
99
00:17:46,846 --> 00:17:48,905
It's all right.
It's all right!
100
00:17:49,248 --> 00:17:51,944
Don't be too sure.
There's no telling
how long it'll stay on.
101
00:17:52,017 --> 00:17:53,678
Well, at least
till I get home.
102
00:17:53,753 --> 00:17:56,449
You better have it fixed
first thing in the morning.
I certainly will.
103
00:17:56,522 --> 00:17:59,457
Just be sure you do
because next time
I'll give you a ticket.
104
00:17:59,525 --> 00:18:00,514
Here, Red.
105
00:18:12,571 --> 00:18:13,560
Okay.
106
00:20:45,958 --> 00:20:47,448
What's the big hurry?
107
00:20:48,561 --> 00:20:51,792
Well, I was only going 35.
That's under the limit.
108
00:20:52,064 --> 00:20:54,055
I didn't say
you were speeding.
109
00:20:54,133 --> 00:20:57,330
Why is it people always
think they're being stopped
for speeding?
110
00:20:57,770 --> 00:20:59,533
You know, the way
you shot out
of that gas station
111
00:20:59,605 --> 00:21:01,869
anybody would've thought
you were on fire.
112
00:21:02,575 --> 00:21:05,738
Here. You gave him a five spot
and forgot to get your change.
113
00:21:05,811 --> 00:21:10,180
Well, thanks a lot, Officer.
Thanks very much.
I'm much obliged to you.
114
00:21:10,649 --> 00:21:13,982
I guess it just
slipped my mind.
115
00:21:14,086 --> 00:21:16,646
You must have a lot
on your mind
to forget a five spot.
116
00:21:16,755 --> 00:21:18,950
Yeah, well,
I guess everybody does.
117
00:21:19,024 --> 00:21:21,959
Well, thanks
for bringing it to me.
It's okay.
118
00:21:23,896 --> 00:21:26,330
I thought you said
you lived in Edgetown.
119
00:21:26,899 --> 00:21:29,299
I do.
What're you doing
on this road?
120
00:21:30,936 --> 00:21:33,370
Well, I... I didn't feel
like going right home.
121
00:21:33,439 --> 00:21:34,929
I thought
I'd take a little drive.
122
00:21:35,374 --> 00:21:37,171
It's a little risky
with that taillight.
123
00:21:38,177 --> 00:21:40,168
Yeah, well, I guess
it's all right now.
124
00:21:40,312 --> 00:21:41,939
Well, I hope so,
for your sake.
Yeah.
125
00:21:42,014 --> 00:21:44,244
Oh, wait a minute.
I'll have a look for you.
126
00:21:53,559 --> 00:21:56,289
Well, I got news for you.
It's out again.
127
00:21:56,762 --> 00:21:58,957
It can't be.
It's out like a light.
128
00:21:59,898 --> 00:22:01,092
Want to take a look?
129
00:22:04,069 --> 00:22:07,266
Don't look so worried.
You know, I just happened
to think of something.
130
00:22:07,339 --> 00:22:08,499
What?
131
00:22:08,574 --> 00:22:10,804
Headquarters about
a mile up ahead.
132
00:22:10,876 --> 00:22:13,106
Matter of fact,
this road's a shortcut to it.
133
00:22:13,712 --> 00:22:15,145
Headquarters?
Yeah.
134
00:22:15,214 --> 00:22:18,445
We got a mechanic there.
He'll have that trunk open
in about two seconds.
135
00:22:18,517 --> 00:22:20,451
He'll fix that light
and it won't cost you a cent.
136
00:22:20,519 --> 00:22:22,111
Well, my house is only
a little ways from here.
137
00:22:22,187 --> 00:22:23,677
I'll drive it there
and then I'll...
138
00:22:23,756 --> 00:22:25,587
I'll get it fixed
first thing in the morning.
139
00:22:25,658 --> 00:22:28,320
Now, that's pretty dangerous.
You better have it fixed now.
140
00:22:28,394 --> 00:22:29,452
Follow me.
141
00:23:04,830 --> 00:23:05,819
Thank you.
142
00:23:06,298 --> 00:23:08,323
One less mile to go.
143
00:23:08,767 --> 00:23:11,930
Next week another script,
another show.
144
00:23:12,404 --> 00:23:15,430
When electrons glide
across your screen,
145
00:23:15,507 --> 00:23:18,772
bringing some new
and unforeseen
brand of murder.
146
00:23:19,178 --> 00:23:21,203
I mean the quiet kind,
147
00:23:21,714 --> 00:23:24,148
perpetrated solely
in our mind.
148
00:23:24,316 --> 00:23:25,715
A gentle thump.
149
00:23:26,151 --> 00:23:28,016
A soothing splash.
150
00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:30,914
No bullet, shriek
or livid gash.
151
00:23:30,989 --> 00:23:33,822
No stains, no fumes,
no ugly splatter.
152
00:23:34,526 --> 00:23:37,791
We use only the purest
subject matter.
153
00:23:38,831 --> 00:23:40,093
Good night.
12164
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