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1
00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:04,938
Hello.
2
00:01:05,221 --> 00:01:07,515
What?
3
00:01:07,598 --> 00:01:10,934
No, l don't work today.
4
00:01:10,976 --> 00:01:13,185
I'm playing hockey at 2:00.
5
00:01:15,688 --> 00:01:19,651
Why don't you call Randal?
6
00:01:19,734 --> 00:01:22,235
'Cause I'm fuckin' tired!
7
00:01:23,987 --> 00:01:27,196
I just closed last night.
8
00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:29,157
Jesus.
9
00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:32,450
What time do you think
you're gonna come in, 12:00?
10
00:01:34,452 --> 00:01:37,288
Be there by 12:00? Where?
11
00:01:37,371 --> 00:01:40,789
Swear you'll be there by 12:00
and I'll do it.
12
00:01:40,873 --> 00:01:43,335
12:00, or l walk.
13
00:01:51,674 --> 00:01:54,134
[ Slurping ]
14
00:02:20,987 --> 00:02:24,823
it's a meaningless end
to the story
15
00:02:24,907 --> 00:02:29,076
Got no time
for the forgotten glory
16
00:02:29,118 --> 00:02:33,038
And now just
when l know what I'm after
17
00:02:33,079 --> 00:02:36,998
it just brings
me to laughter
18
00:02:37,081 --> 00:02:40,878
- Just save up
all your nickels and dimes
- [ Engine Starts ]
19
00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:45,590
- Let's see what you find
and you know
- [ Tires Screeching ]
20
00:02:45,673 --> 00:02:49,842
I guess I'm
livin' day to day
21
00:02:49,926 --> 00:02:54,471
Just in case you feel
led astray, hell, yeah
22
00:02:54,513 --> 00:02:58,098
I guess I'm
livin' day to day
23
00:02:58,182 --> 00:03:01,935
Hear what l say, yeah
24
00:03:02,018 --> 00:03:06,523
Just save up
all your nickels and dimes
25
00:03:06,606 --> 00:03:10,107
Let's see what you find
and you know
26
00:03:18,322 --> 00:03:21,741
I'd just die for a piece
of that pie but
27
00:03:21,783 --> 00:03:26,452
I'll be glad to just feast
on that pie crust
28
00:03:26,577 --> 00:03:30,247
And now just
when l know what I'm after
29
00:03:30,288 --> 00:03:33,502
- it just brings me to laughter
- Shit!
30
00:03:33,585 --> 00:03:37,963
Just save up
all your nickels and dimes
31
00:03:38,088 --> 00:03:42,966
Let's see what you find
and you know
32
00:03:43,007 --> 00:03:46,927
I guess I'm
livin' day to day
33
00:03:47,010 --> 00:03:52,472
Just so glad to be led astray
Hell, yeah
34
00:03:52,514 --> 00:03:55,015
I guess I'm
livin' day to day
35
00:03:55,099 --> 00:03:57,475
Hear what l say
36
00:03:57,600 --> 00:03:59,980
Well
37
00:04:30,835 --> 00:04:35,088
it's a meaningless end
to the story
38
00:04:35,172 --> 00:04:39,425
Got no time
for the forgotten glory
39
00:04:39,508 --> 00:04:43,719
And now just
when l know what I'm after
40
00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:48,181
it just brings
me to laughter
41
00:04:48,264 --> 00:04:52,266
Just save up
all your nickels and dimes
42
00:04:52,267 --> 00:04:56,772
Let's see what you find
and you know
43
00:04:56,897 --> 00:05:00,733
I guess I'm
livin' day to day
44
00:05:00,775 --> 00:05:03,568
Just hopin' to
be led astray
45
00:05:03,610 --> 00:05:05,986
Hell, yeah
46
00:05:06,153 --> 00:05:07,988
I guess I'm
livin' day to day
47
00:05:08,071 --> 00:05:11,616
Hear what l say
Oh, yeah
48
00:05:11,657 --> 00:05:14,700
- Ooh-hoo
- Thanks. Have a good one.
49
00:05:14,784 --> 00:05:17,036
- Do you mind if l drink this here?
- Sure. Go ahead.
50
00:05:17,119 --> 00:05:18,995
- You open?
- Yeah.
51
00:05:20,497 --> 00:05:23,083
- Pack of cigarettes.
- Are you sure?
52
00:05:23,167 --> 00:05:25,336
- Am l sure about what?
- Are you sure?
53
00:05:25,418 --> 00:05:28,670
- About what?
- Do you really wanna buy
those cigarettes?
54
00:05:28,796 --> 00:05:31,714
- Are you serious?
- How long you been smoking?
55
00:05:31,798 --> 00:05:34,716
- What is this, a poll?
- How long you been a smoker?
56
00:05:34,883 --> 00:05:37,510
I don't know.
Since l was about 13.
57
00:05:37,551 --> 00:05:40,595
Thirteen.
Let's see, you're about 19, 20?
58
00:05:40,678 --> 00:05:44,014
- Am l right?
- What in the hell is that?
59
00:05:44,056 --> 00:05:48,478
That's your lung.
By this time, your lung looks like this.
60
00:05:48,561 --> 00:05:51,688
- You've gotta be shitting me.
- You think I'm shitting you?
61
00:05:51,814 --> 00:05:54,232
- Here.
- What's this?
62
00:05:54,273 --> 00:05:55,733
A trach ring.
63
00:05:55,817 --> 00:05:58,943
It's what they install in your throat
when cancer takes your voice box.
64
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:02,403
- This one came out of a 60-year-old man.
- Oh, God!
65
00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:04,989
He smoked until the day he died.
66
00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:08,241
- Used to put the cigarette
in this and smoke that way.
- Excuse me, but...
67
00:06:08,324 --> 00:06:10,243
This is where you're heading.
68
00:06:10,284 --> 00:06:12,536
Cruddy lung,
smoking through a hole in your throat.
69
00:06:12,577 --> 00:06:15,331
- Do you really want that?
- Lf it's already too late, l guess...
70
00:06:15,415 --> 00:06:17,374
No, it's never too late.
71
00:06:17,416 --> 00:06:20,668
Put the cigarettes back,
and try some gum instead.
72
00:06:20,751 --> 00:06:24,045
- Here. Chewlies gum. Try this.
- It's not the same.
73
00:06:24,129 --> 00:06:27,549
It's cheaper than cigarettes,
and it certainly beats this.
74
00:06:27,590 --> 00:06:31,218
- Oh, Jesus!
- It's a picture of a cancer-ridden lung.
75
00:06:31,301 --> 00:06:33,260
Keep it.
76
00:06:33,301 --> 00:06:36,138
- I'll just take the gum.
- Fifty-five.
77
00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:39,264
You made a very wise choice.
Keep up the good work.
78
00:06:41,766 --> 00:06:45,521
If you're gonna drink that coffee,
I think you oughta take it outside, huh?
79
00:06:45,563 --> 00:06:48,147
I think I'll drink it in here.
Thanks.
80
00:06:48,188 --> 00:06:52,066
If you're gonna drink it in here,
I'd appreciate it
if you don't bother the customers.
81
00:06:52,108 --> 00:06:55,485
Okay.
I'm sorry about that.
82
00:06:56,695 --> 00:07:00,905
- Pack of cigarettes. What's that?
- This?
83
00:07:00,989 --> 00:07:03,366
How long you been smoking?
84
00:07:06,576 --> 00:07:10,456
Kill the drummer
85
00:07:10,497 --> 00:07:16,043
Kill the bass player
Kill both bass players
86
00:07:16,085 --> 00:07:19,670
This song is the reason
why I'm now going deaf
87
00:07:19,712 --> 00:07:23,631
Let's kick some ass! Yeah!
88
00:07:30,553 --> 00:07:33,513
I feel good today, Silent Bob.
We're gonna make some money.
89
00:07:33,598 --> 00:07:36,432
And you know what we're gonna do?
We're gonna go to that party
and get some pussy.
90
00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:39,103
I'm gonna fuck this bitch,
I'm gonna fuck this bitch.
91
00:07:39,186 --> 00:07:42,731
I'll fuck anything that moves!
92
00:07:42,814 --> 00:07:45,273
What the fuck you lookin' at?
I'll kick your fuckin' ass!
93
00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:48,609
Shit, yeah. Don't that motherfucker
owe me ten bucks?
94
00:07:48,692 --> 00:07:53,029
You know, tonight we're going
to rip off this fucker's head,
take out his fuckin' soul.
95
00:07:53,071 --> 00:07:55,030
Remind me
if he wants to buy something.
96
00:07:55,072 --> 00:07:56,990
I'm gonna shit
in the motherfucker's bag.
97
00:07:57,032 --> 00:08:01,659
- [ Girl Laughing ]
- What's up, baby? What's up, sluts?
98
00:08:01,743 --> 00:08:05,206
Yeah. So, Bob, you're a rude
motherfucker, you know that?
99
00:08:05,289 --> 00:08:08,707
You're cute as hell.
I could go down on you, suck you,
100
00:08:08,749 --> 00:08:11,794
Line up three other guys,
make like a circus seal.
101
00:08:11,877 --> 00:08:14,879
Hey, what're you, a fucking faggot?
I hate guys.
102
00:08:15,004 --> 00:08:17,297
I love women!
103
00:08:17,339 --> 00:08:19,216
What you want, Grizzly Adams?
104
00:08:19,341 --> 00:08:24,094
You're spending what, 20, maybe 30
dollars a week on your cigarettes?
105
00:08:24,177 --> 00:08:26,220
- Yeah.
- Forty.
- Fifty-three.
106
00:08:26,303 --> 00:08:29,305
Fifty-three dollars a week
on cigarettes! Come on!
107
00:08:29,389 --> 00:08:31,935
Would you give somebody
that much money each week to kill you?
108
00:08:32,018 --> 00:08:36,104
That's what you're doing now by paying
for this so-called privilege to smoke!
109
00:08:36,187 --> 00:08:38,146
We're gonna croak sometime.
110
00:08:38,230 --> 00:08:42,691
It's that mentality that allows
the cancer-producing industry to thrive.
111
00:08:42,775 --> 00:08:46,820
Of course we're all gonna die someday!
Do we have to pay for it?
112
00:08:46,903 --> 00:08:49,905
Do we have to actually throw hard-earned
dollars down on the counter...
113
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:53,198
and say, "" Please,
Mr. Merchant of Death, sir, please,
114
00:08:53,281 --> 00:08:56,659
"" sell me something that will
stink up my breath and clothes,
115
00:08:56,700 --> 00:08:59,747
- and fry my lungs! ""
- [ Dante ] Now, wait a second.
116
00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:03,708
Here comes the speech about how he's
just doing his job by following orders.
117
00:09:03,791 --> 00:09:07,544
Let me tell you
about another group of hate-mongers
that were just following orders.
118
00:09:07,585 --> 00:09:09,920
- Who's that?
- They were called Nazis!
119
00:09:10,045 --> 00:09:11,922
- Yeah, that's right.
- Friggin' Nazi.
120
00:09:12,005 --> 00:09:14,382
They practically wiped
an entire nation off the Earth,
121
00:09:14,424 --> 00:09:16,341
Like your cigarettes are doing now!
122
00:09:16,425 --> 00:09:19,593
- [ Dante ] l think you'd oughta leave.
- You want me to leave. Why?
123
00:09:19,677 --> 00:09:24,054
'Cause somebody's telling it like it is,
giving these fine people a wake-up call?
124
00:09:24,138 --> 00:09:27,392
- Yeah.
- No, you're loitering
and causing a disturbance.
125
00:09:27,475 --> 00:09:30,103
I'm a disturbance?
You're the disturbance, pal.
126
00:09:30,186 --> 00:09:34,440
Here, now l am a customer.
I'm gonna buy some Chewlies gum.
127
00:09:34,565 --> 00:09:38,150
I'm a customer engaged in a discussion
with the other customers.
128
00:09:38,233 --> 00:09:41,235
- That's right.
- Smoke my big fat cock!
129
00:09:41,318 --> 00:09:45,280
He's scared now
'cause he sees the threat we present.
130
00:09:45,363 --> 00:09:48,323
He smells the change is coming!
131
00:09:48,365 --> 00:09:51,951
You definitely are the source
in this area, and we're gonna
shut you down for good!
132
00:09:52,035 --> 00:09:53,995
For good, cancer merchant!
133
00:09:53,996 --> 00:09:56,748
[ Chanting ]
Cancer merchant! Cancer merchant!
134
00:10:01,543 --> 00:10:03,669
Who's leading this mob?
135
00:10:03,711 --> 00:10:06,796
[ Coughing ] That guy.
136
00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:09,131
- [ Coughing Continues ]
- [ Woman ] Freeze!
137
00:10:15,302 --> 00:10:18,637
Let's see some credentials.
Slowly!
138
00:10:21,808 --> 00:10:24,602
- You're a Chewlies gum representative?
- [ Man ] Chewlies?
139
00:10:24,643 --> 00:10:29,272
You're stirring up anti-smoking
sentiment to, what, sell more gum?
140
00:10:29,356 --> 00:10:31,813
Get out of here!
141
00:10:31,814 --> 00:10:36,943
And you people... Don't you have jobs
to go to? Get out of here. Go commute.
142
00:10:36,985 --> 00:10:41,030
You oughta be ashamed of yourselves.
A bunch of easily led automatons.
143
00:10:41,113 --> 00:10:45,074
Try thinking for yourselves before you
pelt an innocent man with cigarettes!
144
00:10:45,199 --> 00:10:49,871
[ Coughing, Clears Throat ]
145
00:10:49,954 --> 00:10:52,539
Uh, pack of cigarettes?
146
00:11:01,128 --> 00:11:03,255
Don't you think you're taking
this a bit too hard?
147
00:11:03,339 --> 00:11:08,175
I have enough indignities in my life and
people start throwing cigarettes at me.
148
00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:11,135
- At least they weren't lit.
- Oh, l hate this fucking place.
149
00:11:11,260 --> 00:11:13,595
Then quit.
You should be going to school anyway.
150
00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:15,932
Please, Veronica, at this point,
the last thing l need is a lecture.
151
00:11:15,973 --> 00:11:18,976
All I'm saying is, if you're
that unhappy, you should leave.
152
00:11:19,060 --> 00:11:22,145
- I'm not even supposed to be here today!
- L know.
153
00:11:22,187 --> 00:11:25,523
I stopped by your house. Your mom told
me you left, like, at 6:00 or something.
154
00:11:25,564 --> 00:11:28,482
The guy got sick.
He couldn't come in.
155
00:11:28,565 --> 00:11:31,402
- Don't you have a hockey game at 2:00?
- Yes.
156
00:11:31,485 --> 00:11:34,779
And I'm gonna play like shit because
I didn't have a good night's sleep.
157
00:11:34,821 --> 00:11:37,239
- Why'd you agree to come in then?
- Hey, I'm only here until 12:00.
158
00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:39,490
After that, I'm gone.
The boss comes in.
159
00:11:39,615 --> 00:11:43,495
- Why don't you open the shutters?
Get some sunlight in here.
- Someone jammed gum in the locks.
160
00:11:43,537 --> 00:11:46,455
- You're kidding.
- Bunch of savages in this town.
161
00:11:51,792 --> 00:11:55,253
- Thanks.
- How much money did you leave up there?
162
00:11:55,294 --> 00:11:58,296
Like, three dollars in mixed change
and a couple of singles.
163
00:11:58,380 --> 00:12:01,174
This time in the morning,
people just get a paper or coffee.
164
00:12:01,216 --> 00:12:03,800
- You're trusting.
- Why do you say that?
165
00:12:03,842 --> 00:12:07,845
How do you know they're taking
the right amount of change
or even paying for what they take?
166
00:12:07,886 --> 00:12:10,682
Theoretically, people see money
on the counter, no one around,
167
00:12:10,849 --> 00:12:12,849
they think they're being watched.
168
00:12:12,850 --> 00:12:15,144
Honesty through paranoia.
169
00:12:15,185 --> 00:12:17,395
Why do you smell like shoe polish?
170
00:12:17,478 --> 00:12:20,022
I needed shoe polish
to make that sign out there.
171
00:12:20,063 --> 00:12:23,232
- Smell won't come off.
- [ Door Opens ]
172
00:12:23,315 --> 00:12:25,649
You think anybody
can see us down here?
173
00:12:25,650 --> 00:12:27,651
Why, you wanna have sex or something?
174
00:12:27,693 --> 00:12:29,778
- Can we?
- Really?
175
00:12:29,820 --> 00:12:32,905
- l was kidding.
- Like you can't get enough of me.
176
00:12:32,989 --> 00:12:36,284
- Typically male point of view.
- How do you figure?
177
00:12:36,326 --> 00:12:39,537
Show some bedroom proficiency,
you think you're gods.
178
00:12:39,620 --> 00:12:41,872
What about what we do for you?
179
00:12:41,913 --> 00:12:45,958
Women as lovers are basically the same;
they just have to be there.
180
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,877
- Be there?
- Making a male climax
isn't at all challenging.
181
00:12:49,001 --> 00:12:52,754
Insert somewhere close,
preferably moist, thrust, repeat.
182
00:12:52,837 --> 00:12:54,756
How flattering.
183
00:12:54,839 --> 00:12:57,799
Now, making a woman come,
therein lies a challenge.
184
00:12:57,841 --> 00:12:59,426
You think so?
185
00:12:59,468 --> 00:13:02,719
A woman makes a guy come,
it's standard.
186
00:13:02,761 --> 00:13:05,473
A guy makes a woman come,
it's talent.
187
00:13:05,514 --> 00:13:08,392
- And l actually date you?
- Something wrong?
188
00:13:08,476 --> 00:13:13,020
I'm insulted. Believe me, Don Juan, it
takes more than that to get a guy off.
189
00:13:13,103 --> 00:13:15,855
Just being there, as you put it,
is not enough.
190
00:13:15,897 --> 00:13:17,774
Hmm, I've touched a nerve.
191
00:13:17,857 --> 00:13:20,316
I'm astonished to hear you
you trivialize my role in our sex life.
192
00:13:20,358 --> 00:13:22,860
It wasn't directed at you.
I was making a broad generalization.
193
00:13:22,902 --> 00:13:25,278
You're making a generalization
about broads.
194
00:13:25,403 --> 00:13:27,821
Those are my opinions
based on the few women...
195
00:13:27,863 --> 00:13:29,739
who were goodly enough
to sleep with me.
196
00:13:29,781 --> 00:13:31,868
- How many?
- How many what?
197
00:13:31,951 --> 00:13:34,579
How many different girls
have you slept with?
198
00:13:34,663 --> 00:13:37,372
- Didn't we have
this discussion once before?
- We might have.
199
00:13:37,455 --> 00:13:40,499
- l don't remember. How many?
- Including you?
200
00:13:40,582 --> 00:13:43,167
It better be up to and including me.
201
00:13:43,209 --> 00:13:46,628
- Twelve.
- You slept with 12 different girls?
202
00:13:46,711 --> 00:13:48,922
Including you? Yes.
203
00:13:49,005 --> 00:13:51,048
- Ow! What'd you do that for?
- You're a pig!
204
00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:54,175
- Why'd you hit me?
- Do you know how many different men
I've had sex with?
205
00:13:54,217 --> 00:13:56,259
Do l get to hit you after you tell me?
206
00:13:56,343 --> 00:13:58,013
- Three.
- Three?
207
00:13:58,097 --> 00:14:01,098
- Three, including you.
- You only slept
with three different people?
208
00:14:01,223 --> 00:14:03,183
- I'm not the pig you are.
- Who?
209
00:14:03,266 --> 00:14:06,060
- You!
- No, who are the three, besides me.
210
00:14:06,143 --> 00:14:09,396
- John Francin and Rob Stanslik.
- Wow.
211
00:14:09,479 --> 00:14:12,564
That's why you should feel like a pig.
You men make me feel sick.
212
00:14:12,606 --> 00:14:15,942
- You'll sleep with anything
that says yes.
- Animal, mineral or vegetable.
213
00:14:16,025 --> 00:14:17,442
Vegetable, meaning paraplegic.
214
00:14:17,609 --> 00:14:19,695
They put up
the least amount of struggle.
215
00:14:19,861 --> 00:14:22,362
After dropping a bombshell like that,
you owe me big.
216
00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:23,864
Name it.
217
00:14:23,906 --> 00:14:25,826
I want you to come with me on Monday.
218
00:14:25,867 --> 00:14:27,827
- Where?
- To school.
219
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:30,495
There's a seminar about getting
back into a scholastic program...
220
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:32,454
after a lapse in enrollment.
221
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:34,081
Can't we ever have a discussion
without that coming up?
222
00:14:34,164 --> 00:14:36,124
It's important to me, Dante.
223
00:14:36,165 --> 00:14:39,293
You have so much potential
that's going to waste in this pit.
224
00:14:39,376 --> 00:14:42,753
- l wish you'd go back to school.
- Stop. You're making my head hurt.
225
00:14:42,878 --> 00:14:45,839
- Shit! Why're you getting up?
- Unlike you, l have class in 45 minutes.
226
00:14:48,173 --> 00:14:50,216
Willam?
227
00:14:50,258 --> 00:14:52,846
Hey, Ronni.
How you been, man?
228
00:14:52,929 --> 00:14:55,848
What, do you work here now?
229
00:14:55,889 --> 00:14:59,099
No, l was visiting my man.
230
00:14:59,182 --> 00:15:02,685
Dante, this is Willam Black.
This is Dante Hicks, my boyfriend.
231
00:15:02,768 --> 00:15:07,105
- How you doing? Just the soda?
- No, and a pack of cigarettes.
232
00:15:07,188 --> 00:15:11,191
So where you been, man?
Still going to Seton Hall?
233
00:15:11,233 --> 00:15:15,486
No, l transferred into Monmouth
this year. l was tired of missing him.
234
00:15:15,527 --> 00:15:18,780
That's beautiful, man.
235
00:15:18,822 --> 00:15:21,033
So, you still talk to Silvan?
236
00:15:21,116 --> 00:15:24,202
I just talked to her on Monday.
We still hang out on weekends.
237
00:15:24,244 --> 00:15:26,121
Oh, that's great.
238
00:15:26,204 --> 00:15:30,040
Well, you two lovebirds
take it easy, okay?
239
00:15:30,081 --> 00:15:33,208
Bye. Take it easy.
240
00:15:33,250 --> 00:15:37,128
- [ Ronni ] That was Snowball.
- Why do you call him that?
241
00:15:37,295 --> 00:15:41,048
Silvan made it up.
It's a blow job thing.
242
00:15:41,131 --> 00:15:43,173
What do you mean?
243
00:15:43,214 --> 00:15:46,844
After the blow job, he likes to have it
spit back into his mouth while kissing.
244
00:15:46,886 --> 00:15:48,763
It's called snowballing.
245
00:15:48,888 --> 00:15:51,514
- He requests this?
- He gets off on it.
246
00:15:51,598 --> 00:15:54,808
- Silvan can be talked into anything.
- Why do you say that?
247
00:15:54,850 --> 00:15:57,311
Like you said, she snowballed him.
248
00:15:57,394 --> 00:16:01,395
- Silvan? No, l snowballed him.
- Yeah, right.
249
00:16:01,437 --> 00:16:03,522
I'm serious.
250
00:16:03,564 --> 00:16:07,108
- You sucked that guy's dick?
- Yeah. How do you think l knew...
251
00:16:07,192 --> 00:16:10,861
You said you only had sex
with three different guys!
You never mentioned him!
252
00:16:10,945 --> 00:16:13,698
- Because l never had sex with him.
- You sucked his dick!
253
00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:16,575
We went out a few times.
We never had sex, but we fooled around.
254
00:16:16,700 --> 00:16:19,827
Oh, my God. Why did you tell me
you only had sex with three guys?
255
00:16:19,911 --> 00:16:22,454
Because l did
only have sex with three guys.
256
00:16:22,537 --> 00:16:26,040
- it doesn't mean
I didn't just go with people.
- Oh, my God, l feel so nauseous!
257
00:16:26,165 --> 00:16:28,166
I'm sorry, Dante.
I thought you understood.
258
00:16:28,208 --> 00:16:29,751
I did understand!
259
00:16:29,834 --> 00:16:32,920
I understood that you had sex with
three guys and that's all you said!
260
00:16:32,962 --> 00:16:35,004
- Please calm down.
- How many?
261
00:16:35,046 --> 00:16:37,298
- Dante, let it go!
- How many dicks have you sucked?
262
00:16:37,382 --> 00:16:39,924
Shut up a second and I'll tell you.
Jesus!
263
00:16:40,007 --> 00:16:42,637
I didn't freak out like this when
you told me how many girls you fucked!
264
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:45,346
This is different. This is important.
How many?
265
00:16:55,354 --> 00:16:57,230
Well?
266
00:16:58,939 --> 00:17:03,359
- Something like 36.
- What? Something like 36?
267
00:17:03,401 --> 00:17:06,111
- Lower your voice.
- What is that... ""Something like 36""?
268
00:17:06,194 --> 00:17:08,155
Does that include me?
269
00:17:09,365 --> 00:17:12,033
- Uh... 37.
- I'm 37?
270
00:17:12,117 --> 00:17:15,452
- I'm going to class.
- Oh, my God.
271
00:17:15,536 --> 00:17:19,872
- 37! My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks!
- In a row?
272
00:17:19,998 --> 00:17:23,417
- Where you going?
- Hey, listen, jerk.
Until today, you never even knew...
273
00:17:23,458 --> 00:17:26,335
how many guys l slept with
because you never even bothered to ask.
274
00:17:26,419 --> 00:17:30,129
Then you act all nonchalant
about fucking 12 girls.
I never had sex with 12 guys!
275
00:17:30,254 --> 00:17:33,047
- No, but you sucked enough dick!
- Yeah, l went down on a few guys.
276
00:17:33,131 --> 00:17:35,652
- A few?
- One of those guys was you.
The last one, l might add.
277
00:17:35,677 --> 00:17:39,680
Which, if you're too stupid
to comprehend, means that
I've been faithful to you since we met.
278
00:17:39,763 --> 00:17:43,473
All the other guys
I went with before l met you.
If you want to have a complex, go ahead.
279
00:17:43,557 --> 00:17:46,934
But don't look at me like
I'm the town whore, because you
were plenty busy before you met me.
280
00:17:46,976 --> 00:17:50,729
Why did you suck their dick?
Why couldn't you sleep with them
Like any other decent person?
281
00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:52,646
Because going down isn't a big deal.
282
00:17:52,771 --> 00:17:55,607
I used to like a guy, we'd make out,
and sooner or later I'd go down on him.
283
00:17:55,648 --> 00:17:58,817
- But l only had sex
with the guys l loved.
- L feel sick.
284
00:17:58,859 --> 00:18:00,902
I love you!
Don't feel sick.
285
00:18:00,943 --> 00:18:03,239
Every time l kiss you,
I'm gonna taste 36 other guys.
286
00:18:03,406 --> 00:18:06,742
- I'm going to school. Maybe later
you'll be a bit more rational.
- I'm 37! l just can't...
287
00:18:06,825 --> 00:18:08,784
Good-bye, Dante!
288
00:18:11,578 --> 00:18:15,456
Hey, try not to suck any dick
on the way through the parking lot!
289
00:18:15,581 --> 00:18:18,082
Hey! Hey, you!
Get back here.
290
00:18:23,169 --> 00:18:27,839
I thought that place was supposed
to be open at 11:00. it's 11:20.
291
00:18:27,963 --> 00:18:31,259
I've already called his house twice.
He'll be here soon.
292
00:18:31,260 --> 00:18:34,763
Hey, it's not like
it's a demanding job over there.
293
00:18:34,846 --> 00:18:37,430
I'd like to get paid
to sit on my ass and watch TV.
294
00:18:37,513 --> 00:18:40,350
I walked in the other day,
that son of a bitch was sleeping.
295
00:18:40,391 --> 00:18:43,143
- I'm sure he wasn't sleeping.
- Are you calling me a liar?
296
00:18:43,227 --> 00:18:47,021
- Are you calling me a liar?
- No! He was probably
just resting his eyes.
297
00:18:47,063 --> 00:18:49,481
What the hell is that,
""resting his eyes""?
298
00:18:49,522 --> 00:18:53,484
- Like he's some air traffic controller?
- Actually, that's his night job.
299
00:18:53,567 --> 00:18:57,072
Wise ass too, huh?
Go ahead. Keep cracking wise.
300
00:18:57,113 --> 00:19:00,574
That's why you're jockeying a register
in some fuckin' convenience store...
301
00:19:00,658 --> 00:19:03,033
instead of working at a steady job.
302
00:19:03,075 --> 00:19:06,953
I've got no time to bullshit around,
waiting for that son of a bitch.
303
00:19:06,994 --> 00:19:09,038
Make sure he gets that.
304
00:19:09,121 --> 00:19:13,082
The number's 812. My name's Wynarski.
I wanted a movie tonight.
305
00:19:13,165 --> 00:19:16,208
If you tell me the title of the movie,
he'll hold it for you.
306
00:19:16,209 --> 00:19:20,128
Don't hurt yourself, buddy.
I'll go to Big Choice Video instead.
307
00:19:22,172 --> 00:19:25,217
[ Door Opens, Closes ]
308
00:19:25,300 --> 00:19:27,844
You forgot your keys.
309
00:19:39,018 --> 00:19:42,354
- Guy ain't here yet.
- You're kidding! it's almost 11:30.
310
00:19:42,437 --> 00:19:47,524
- I've been here since 11:00.
- L hate it when l can't rent videos!
311
00:19:47,566 --> 00:19:50,984
I would've went to Big Choice, but the
tape l want is right there on that wall.
312
00:19:50,985 --> 00:19:53,113
- Which one?
- Dental School.
313
00:19:53,196 --> 00:19:55,657
You came for that too?
That's the movie l came for.
314
00:19:55,740 --> 00:19:57,783
- l have first dibs.
- Says who?
315
00:19:57,825 --> 00:20:01,119
Says me. I've been here half an hour.
I'd call that first dibs.
316
00:20:01,202 --> 00:20:04,745
- Ain't gonna happen, my friend.
I'm getting that movie.
- Like hell you are.
317
00:20:04,746 --> 00:20:07,331
I'll bet you 20 bucks
you don't get to rent that tape.
318
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:09,332
- Twenty bucks?
- Twenty bucks.
319
00:20:09,374 --> 00:20:12,751
All right, asshole. You're on.
320
00:20:28,930 --> 00:20:30,891
You're late.
321
00:20:30,974 --> 00:20:34,311
- What the hell are you doing here?
- The boss called. Arthur fell ill.
322
00:20:34,394 --> 00:20:37,020
- Why are the shutters closed?
- Someone jammed gum in the locks.
323
00:20:37,103 --> 00:20:39,772
- Bunch of savages in this town.
- That's what l said.
324
00:20:39,856 --> 00:20:43,066
If I'd known you were here,
I'd have come even later.
325
00:20:43,150 --> 00:20:46,236
- What smells like shoe polish?
- Go open the store.
326
00:20:50,448 --> 00:20:54,409
- Hey, you see a set of keys around here?
- No time for love, Dr. Jones.
327
00:20:56,077 --> 00:20:58,369
Fucking kids.
328
00:21:19,470 --> 00:21:22,513
Some guy just came in
refusing to pay late fees.
329
00:21:22,555 --> 00:21:26,057
Said the store was closed for two hours
yesterday. l tore up his membership.
330
00:21:26,098 --> 00:21:27,558
Shocking abuse of authority.
331
00:21:27,642 --> 00:21:30,060
I'm a firm believer
in the philosophy of a ruling class,
332
00:21:30,101 --> 00:21:32,020
especially since l rule.
333
00:21:32,145 --> 00:21:36,065
- [ Randal ]
Want something to drink? I'm buying.
- [ Dante ] No, thanks.
334
00:21:36,106 --> 00:21:38,399
Who was on your phone
this morning, like, 2:30?
335
00:21:38,483 --> 00:21:40,986
- l was trying to call for half an hour.
- Why?
336
00:21:41,028 --> 00:21:44,279
I wanted to use your car.
Snack cake.
337
00:21:44,321 --> 00:21:46,365
You don't wanna know.
338
00:21:46,448 --> 00:21:48,366
- You call Caitlin again?
- She called me.
339
00:21:48,407 --> 00:21:51,952
- You tell Veronica?
- One fight a day with Veronica
is all l can stomach, thanks.
340
00:21:52,035 --> 00:21:54,704
- What do you fight about?
- We don't fight about anything.
341
00:21:54,829 --> 00:21:57,705
She wants me to leave here and go
back to school and get some direction.
342
00:21:57,789 --> 00:22:00,832
- l bet the most frequent topic
of arguments is Caitlin Bree.
- You win.
343
00:22:00,874 --> 00:22:03,715
I'm going to offer you some advice,
my friend. Let the past be the past.
344
00:22:03,794 --> 00:22:06,419
Forget Caitlin Bree.
You been with Veronica how long now?
345
00:22:06,503 --> 00:22:08,715
- Seven months.
- Chick's nuts about you.
346
00:22:08,799 --> 00:22:10,967
- How long you date Caitlin?
- Five years.
347
00:22:11,008 --> 00:22:13,468
Chick only made you nuts, man.
She cheated on you how many times?
348
00:22:13,552 --> 00:22:15,553
- Eight and a half.
- Eight and a half?
349
00:22:15,594 --> 00:22:18,930
Party at John Kay's, senior year;
I get blitzed, pass out in his bedroom.
350
00:22:19,055 --> 00:22:21,850
- Caitlin comes in and jumps all over me.
- So that's cheating?
351
00:22:21,891 --> 00:22:25,394
- No.
In the middle of it she called me Brad.
- She called you Brad?
352
00:22:25,477 --> 00:22:28,478
That's not cheating.
People say crazy shit during sex.
353
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:31,481
- One time, l called this girl ""mom.""
- L hit the light, she freaks.
354
00:22:31,565 --> 00:22:34,318
- She thought l was Brad Michelson.
- What do you mean?
355
00:22:34,443 --> 00:22:37,194
She was supposed to meet Brad in a
dark bedroom. She picked the wrong one.
356
00:22:37,236 --> 00:22:39,398
- She didn't even know
I was at the party.
- Oh, my God.
357
00:22:39,405 --> 00:22:41,822
- Great story, huh?
- That girl was vile to you.
358
00:22:41,823 --> 00:22:45,075
Interesting postscript to that story.
Do you know who wound up
in that bedroom with Brad?
359
00:22:45,117 --> 00:22:47,034
- Your mother?
- Alan Harris.
360
00:22:47,118 --> 00:22:49,620
- Chess team Alan Harris?
- The two moved to Idaho together.
361
00:22:49,704 --> 00:22:51,121
They raise sheep.
362
00:22:51,246 --> 00:22:53,807
- That's frightening.
- Takes different strokes
to move the world.
363
00:22:53,873 --> 00:22:55,748
In light of this lurid tale,
I don't see...
364
00:22:55,790 --> 00:22:57,667
how you could romanticize
your relationship with Caitlin.
365
00:22:57,750 --> 00:23:00,795
She broke your heart and inadvertently
drove men to deviant lifestyles.
366
00:23:00,837 --> 00:23:02,840
There was a lot of good
in our relationship.
367
00:23:02,922 --> 00:23:04,802
Aside from the cheating,
we were a great couple.
368
00:23:04,882 --> 00:23:08,593
That's what high school was about:
algebra, bad lunch and infidelity.
369
00:23:08,676 --> 00:23:11,303
- You think things
will be different this time?
- They are.
370
00:23:11,304 --> 00:23:14,723
When she calls me now,
she's a different person.
She's frightened, vulnerable.
371
00:23:14,764 --> 00:23:18,601
She's finishing college
and about to enter the real world.
That's scary for anyone.
372
00:23:18,642 --> 00:23:21,310
- Shit, l gotta place an order.
- Talkin' to myself here.
373
00:23:21,351 --> 00:23:24,771
- I'm listening.
She's leaving college and...
- And she's looking for support.
374
00:23:24,896 --> 00:23:28,191
- l think this is leading
our relationship to a new level.
- What about Veronica?
375
00:23:28,316 --> 00:23:31,194
I think the arguments Veronica and l are
having are some kind of manifestation...
376
00:23:31,277 --> 00:23:33,321
of a subconscious desire
to break up with her,
377
00:23:33,404 --> 00:23:35,780
so l can pursue a more meaningful
relationship with Caitlin.
378
00:23:35,863 --> 00:23:38,532
- Caitlin's on the same wavelength?
- It's safe to say yes.
379
00:23:38,616 --> 00:23:41,618
- l think all four of you
better sit down and talk it over.
- All four?
380
00:23:41,659 --> 00:23:45,913
You, Veronica, Caitlin
and Caitlin's fiancé.
381
00:23:55,169 --> 00:23:58,965
- Do you sell video tapes?
- Yeah. What are you looking for?
382
00:23:59,132 --> 00:24:02,217
- Happy Scrappy Hero Pup.
- Uh, one second.
383
00:24:02,342 --> 00:24:05,844
I'm on the phone
with the distribution house.
Let me make sure they got it.
384
00:24:05,886 --> 00:24:08,846
- What's it called again?
- Happy Scrappy Hero Pup.
385
00:24:08,888 --> 00:24:12,933
- [ Child ] Happy Scrappy...
- She loves it.
- Obviously.
386
00:24:13,016 --> 00:24:17,061
This is RST Video calling.
Customer number 4352.
387
00:24:17,186 --> 00:24:19,437
I'd like to place an order.
388
00:24:19,479 --> 00:24:21,730
I need one each of the following tapes:
389
00:24:21,772 --> 00:24:23,775
Whispers in The Wind,
To Each His Own,
390
00:24:23,858 --> 00:24:26,986
Put it Where it Doesn't Belong,
My Pipes Need Cleaning,
391
00:24:27,028 --> 00:24:30,197
All Tit Fucking, Volume Eight,
I Need Your Cock,
392
00:24:30,322 --> 00:24:33,698
Ass Worshipping Rim Jobbers,
My Cunt And Eight Shafts,
393
00:24:33,740 --> 00:24:37,952
Cum Clean, Cum Gargling Naked Sluts,
Cum Buns III,
394
00:24:37,993 --> 00:24:40,912
Cumming in Socks, Cum On ilene,
395
00:24:40,954 --> 00:24:43,081
Huge Black Cocks
With Pearly White Cum,
396
00:24:43,164 --> 00:24:46,040
Girls Who Crave Cock,
Girls Who Crave Cunt,
397
00:24:46,123 --> 00:24:49,835
Men Alone II: The KY Connection,
Pink Pussy Lips,
398
00:24:49,918 --> 00:24:53,047
oh, yeah, and, uh,
All Holes Filled with Hard Cock.
399
00:24:53,089 --> 00:24:57,259
Yup. Oh, wait a minute.
What was that called again?
400
00:24:57,342 --> 00:24:58,884
I'm a needle, you know
401
00:24:58,926 --> 00:25:03,555
Never want to be a haystack
402
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:06,932
Don't ever want to break
your heart in two
403
00:25:07,015 --> 00:25:10,518
Know the crowd
is gonna sell their soul
404
00:25:10,601 --> 00:25:13,686
Take it anywhere l know
Well, l promise you
405
00:25:13,769 --> 00:25:15,855
it's making me sick
406
00:25:17,147 --> 00:25:20,568
Yes, I'd like to check on
a misprint in today's edition.
407
00:25:20,651 --> 00:25:22,777
Today's edition.
408
00:25:22,902 --> 00:25:26,572
It says,
""Bree to wed Asian design major.""
409
00:25:26,697 --> 00:25:28,574
No, everything's spelled fine.
410
00:25:28,615 --> 00:25:31,867
I was just wondering
if the article was a misprint.
411
00:25:31,950 --> 00:25:34,744
I don't know,
Like a typographical error or something.
412
00:25:34,828 --> 00:25:39,581
Maybe it should say, ""Caitlin Bray""
or ""Caitlin Bre"" with one ""E.""
413
00:25:39,664 --> 00:25:44,625
I'm a curious party.
A curious party.
414
00:25:44,711 --> 00:25:47,130
I'm an ex-boyfriend, and, well,
415
00:25:47,172 --> 00:25:50,048
I talk to her all the time
and she never mentioned this engagement.
416
00:25:50,090 --> 00:25:53,176
That's why I'm thinking
maybe it's a misprint.
417
00:25:54,802 --> 00:25:59,722
Are you sure? Maybe there's
a vindictive printer working for you.
418
00:25:59,805 --> 00:26:03,808
Meaning like, someone who asked her out
once and got shot down,
419
00:26:03,892 --> 00:26:08,311
and this is his revenge
by putting this bogus article
in the paper when it went to press.
420
00:26:08,394 --> 00:26:10,770
Hello. Hello?
421
00:26:17,360 --> 00:26:19,779
- [ Sniffing ]
- [ Cat Meows ]
422
00:26:19,820 --> 00:26:23,698
I don't care if she's my cousin, I'm
gonna knock those boots again tonight.
423
00:26:23,740 --> 00:26:27,534
- Look who it is.
The fuckin' human vacuum.
- Scumbag, what are you doing?
424
00:26:27,576 --> 00:26:30,453
- Just hanging
with Silent Bob and his cousin.
- He's your cousin?
425
00:26:30,495 --> 00:26:32,621
- He's from Russia too.
- No way.
426
00:26:32,662 --> 00:26:36,624
- What part of Russia?
- L don't know. Do l look
Like his fuckin' biographer?
427
00:26:36,665 --> 00:26:41,045
- Olaf, what part of Russia are you from?
- Moscow.
428
00:26:41,128 --> 00:26:45,089
-He only speaks Russian?
-He speaks some English,
but he cannot speak it good like we do.
429
00:26:45,131 --> 00:26:48,218
- Is he staying here?
- Nah, he's moving
to the big city this week.
430
00:26:48,300 --> 00:26:50,550
- He wants to be a metal singer.
- [ Girl ] No way.
431
00:26:50,551 --> 00:26:53,137
I swear. Olaf, metal.
432
00:26:53,179 --> 00:26:56,932
That's his fucking metal face.
Olaf, girl nice?
433
00:26:56,973 --> 00:26:59,641
- [ Speaks Russian ]
- That's fucked up, man.
434
00:26:59,682 --> 00:27:03,018
- What did he say?
- L don't know, man,
but this guy's a character.
435
00:27:03,060 --> 00:27:06,146
- He really wants to play metal?
- Yeah, he's got his own band in Moscow.
436
00:27:06,188 --> 00:27:09,775
- it's called ""Fuck Your
Yankee Blue Jeans"" or something.
- That doesn't sound metal.
437
00:27:09,817 --> 00:27:13,111
You gotta hear him sing.
Olaf, ""Berserker.""
438
00:27:13,194 --> 00:27:16,988
- Come on, man, ""Berserker""!
- Does he sing in English or Russian?
439
00:27:17,072 --> 00:27:20,157
In English. Come on, ""Berserker.""
Girls think sexy.
440
00:27:21,574 --> 00:27:25,369
- Aah. Aah.
- Watch, he's gonna sing it.
It's too funny.
441
00:27:25,452 --> 00:27:30,081
My love for you
is like a truck, berserker
442
00:27:30,164 --> 00:27:34,418
Would you like
some making fuck, berserker
443
00:27:34,502 --> 00:27:37,672
- That's fuckin' funny, man.
- Did he say, ""making fuck""?
444
00:27:37,754 --> 00:27:42,591
[ Science Fiction Movie Sounds,
Man Screaming ]
445
00:27:42,633 --> 00:27:45,009
[ Sounds Stop ]
446
00:27:57,934 --> 00:28:02,523
My love for you
is ticking clock, berserker
447
00:28:02,565 --> 00:28:07,609
Would you like
to suck my cock, berserker
448
00:28:07,651 --> 00:28:10,987
That's beautiful, man.
449
00:28:14,406 --> 00:28:17,325
Hold on to the counter
and I'll pull.
450
00:28:17,409 --> 00:28:20,535
Usually l just turn the can upside down.
451
00:28:20,577 --> 00:28:23,037
Maybe we oughta soap your hand up.
452
00:28:23,121 --> 00:28:26,373
They oughta put a warning on these
things, like they do with cigarettes.
453
00:28:26,457 --> 00:28:29,460
- l think it's coming!
- [ Falls On Floor ]
454
00:28:31,336 --> 00:28:34,671
Thanks. l thought l was going
to have to go to the hospital.
455
00:28:34,797 --> 00:28:37,424
I'll throw this out
as a precautionary measure.
456
00:28:37,507 --> 00:28:39,676
[ Chuckling ] Stings a little.
457
00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:43,887
A little word of advice: Sometimes you
got to let those hard-to-reach chips go.
458
00:28:43,928 --> 00:28:45,929
- [ Door Opens ]
- Thanks.
459
00:28:47,597 --> 00:28:50,767
You know, that article's accurate.
Caitlin really is getting married.
460
00:28:50,808 --> 00:28:54,102
- You know what l just watched?
- Me pulling a can off some moron's fist?
461
00:28:54,186 --> 00:28:58,857
- Return Of The Jedi.
- Didn't you hear me?
Caitlin is really getting married.
462
00:28:58,982 --> 00:29:02,860
What did you like better:
Jedi or The Empire Strikes Back?
463
00:29:02,902 --> 00:29:04,986
- Empire.
- Blasphemy.
464
00:29:05,070 --> 00:29:07,113
Empire had the better ending.
465
00:29:07,197 --> 00:29:11,491
I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off,
finds out Vader's his father.
466
00:29:11,616 --> 00:29:15,077
Han gets frozen, taken away by
Boba Fett. it ends on such a down note.
467
00:29:15,118 --> 00:29:18,578
I mean, that's what life is:
a series of down endings.
468
00:29:18,661 --> 00:29:21,289
All Jedi had was a bunch of Muppets.
469
00:29:21,331 --> 00:29:24,543
There was something else
going on in Jedi.
I never noticed it 'til today.
470
00:29:24,627 --> 00:29:26,836
- They build another Death Star, right?
- Yeah.
471
00:29:26,878 --> 00:29:30,040
The first one
was completed and fully operational
before the rebels destroyed it.
472
00:29:30,047 --> 00:29:32,381
Luke blew it up.
Give credit where credit's due.
473
00:29:32,465 --> 00:29:35,926
- The second one was still
being built when they blew it up.
- Compliments of Lando Calrissian.
474
00:29:35,967 --> 00:29:38,761
Something just never sat right with me
that second time around.
475
00:29:38,803 --> 00:29:41,597
I could never put my finger on it,
but something just wasn't right.
476
00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:45,557
- And you figured it out.
- The first Death Star
was manned by the lmperial Army.
477
00:29:45,599 --> 00:29:49,185
The only people on board were Storm
Troopers, dignitaries, lmperialists.
478
00:29:49,268 --> 00:29:53,107
- Basically.
- So when they blew it up, no problem.
Evil's punished.
479
00:29:53,232 --> 00:29:56,984
- And the second time around?
- It wasn't even done being built yet.
480
00:29:57,026 --> 00:29:59,276
- it was still under construction.
- So?
481
00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:01,737
A construction job
of that magnitude would require...
482
00:30:01,779 --> 00:30:04,906
a lot more manpower
than the lmperial Army had to offer.
483
00:30:04,948 --> 00:30:07,741
I'll bet they brought independent
contractors in on that thing.
484
00:30:07,825 --> 00:30:10,576
- Plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers...
- Not just lmperialists.
485
00:30:10,618 --> 00:30:13,037
- Is that what you're getting at?
- Exactly.
486
00:30:13,121 --> 00:30:15,788
To get it built quickly and quietly,
they'd hire anybody
that could do the job.
487
00:30:15,871 --> 00:30:18,459
You think the average Storm Trooper
knows how to install a toilet main?
488
00:30:18,543 --> 00:30:23,045
- All they know is killing.
- So they bring in
independent contractors.
489
00:30:23,087 --> 00:30:27,966
- Why are you so upset?
- Those innocent contractors
brought in are killed,
490
00:30:28,007 --> 00:30:30,884
casualties of a war
they had nothing to do with.
491
00:30:30,926 --> 00:30:35,096
Look, you're a roofer. Some juicy
government contract comes your way.
492
00:30:35,221 --> 00:30:38,055
You got a wife and kids,
the two-story in suburbia.
493
00:30:38,139 --> 00:30:41,224
This is a government contract
which means all sorts of benefits.
494
00:30:41,307 --> 00:30:43,434
Along come these left-wing militants
who blast everything...
495
00:30:43,475 --> 00:30:45,563
within a three-mile radius
with their lasers.
496
00:30:45,646 --> 00:30:48,189
You didn't ask for that;
you had no personal politics.
497
00:30:48,314 --> 00:30:51,316
- You're just trying
to scrape out a living.
- L don't mean to interrupt,
498
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:54,402
- but what are you talking about?
- The ending of Return Of The Jedi.
499
00:30:54,444 --> 00:30:59,197
My friend is trying to convince me
that independent contractors
working on the Death Star...
500
00:30:59,239 --> 00:31:01,866
were innocent victims
when it was destroyed by the rebels.
501
00:31:01,949 --> 00:31:04,576
I'm a contractor myself.
I'm a roofer.
502
00:31:04,659 --> 00:31:06,536
""Done And Ready Home improvements.""
503
00:31:06,578 --> 00:31:09,787
Speaking as a roofer, l can tell you
a roofer's personal politics...
504
00:31:09,871 --> 00:31:12,957
- comes into play heavily
when choosing jobs.
- Like when?
505
00:31:12,958 --> 00:31:16,335
Three weeks ago, l was offered a job
up in the hills. Beautiful house.
506
00:31:16,461 --> 00:31:19,379
Tons of property.
A simple re-shingling job.
507
00:31:19,421 --> 00:31:23,173
They told me if l could finish it
in one day, l would double my price.
508
00:31:23,214 --> 00:31:25,842
- Then l realized whose house it was.
- [ Dante ] Whose house was it?
509
00:31:25,884 --> 00:31:29,970
- Dominic Bambino's.
- Baby Face Bambino? The gangster?
510
00:31:30,012 --> 00:31:33,973
The same! The money was right,
but the risk was too high.
511
00:31:34,057 --> 00:31:38,142
I knew who he was, and based on that,
I turned the job over to a friend.
512
00:31:38,227 --> 00:31:40,812
- Based on personal politics.
- Right!
513
00:31:40,896 --> 00:31:45,190
The next week, the Foresie family
put a hit on Baby Face's house.
514
00:31:45,231 --> 00:31:49,943
- My friend was shot and killed.
Didn't even finish re-shingling.
- No way.
515
00:31:49,985 --> 00:31:53,988
I'm alive because l knew the risk
involved in that particular client.
516
00:31:54,113 --> 00:31:55,990
My friend wasn't so lucky.
517
00:31:56,074 --> 00:32:00,034
Any contractor working on that
Death Star knew the risk involved.
518
00:32:00,117 --> 00:32:02,660
If they got killed,
it's their own fault.
519
00:32:02,702 --> 00:32:05,706
A roofer listens to this,
not his wallet.
520
00:32:16,005 --> 00:32:20,299
They say so much, but they never
tell you if it's any good.
521
00:32:23,344 --> 00:32:26,720
Are either one of these any good?
522
00:32:26,721 --> 00:32:28,681
- Sir?
- What?
523
00:32:28,722 --> 00:32:32,558
- Are either one of these any good?
- L don't watch movies.
524
00:32:32,602 --> 00:32:35,979
[ Sighs ] Well, have you heard anything
about either one of them?
525
00:32:36,063 --> 00:32:39,356
I find it's best to stay out
of other people's affairs.
526
00:32:39,523 --> 00:32:43,359
You mean you haven't heard anybody
say anything about either one of these?
527
00:32:43,442 --> 00:32:45,361
Nope.
528
00:32:45,444 --> 00:32:47,362
[ Sighs ]
529
00:32:49,488 --> 00:32:52,782
- Well, what about these two?
- They suck.
530
00:32:52,824 --> 00:32:56,159
[ Sighs ]
These are the same two movies.
531
00:32:56,284 --> 00:32:59,745
- You weren't paying any attention.
- No, l wasn't.
532
00:32:59,831 --> 00:33:02,374
I don't think your manager
would appreciate it...
533
00:33:02,416 --> 00:33:05,418
- l don't appreciate your ruse, ma'am.
- L beg your pardon?
534
00:33:05,459 --> 00:33:09,129
Your ruse.
Your cunning attempt to trick me.
535
00:33:09,170 --> 00:33:13,506
I was only pointing out that
you weren't paying any attention
to what l was saying.
536
00:33:13,548 --> 00:33:15,424
And l hope it feels good.
537
00:33:15,550 --> 00:33:19,050
- You hope what feels good?
- L hope it feels so good to be right.
538
00:33:19,051 --> 00:33:21,012
There's nothing more exhilarating...
539
00:33:21,095 --> 00:33:23,179
than pointing out
the shortcomings of others, is there?
540
00:33:23,263 --> 00:33:26,515
[ Heavy Sigh ] Well, this is
the last time l rent here!
541
00:33:26,598 --> 00:33:29,894
- You will be missed.
- Screw you!
542
00:33:32,104 --> 00:33:36,524
- Hey, you're not allowed
to rent here anymore!
- [ Jay ] Yeah!
543
00:33:36,607 --> 00:33:38,484
Screw me?
544
00:33:51,243 --> 00:33:54,246
- You'll never believe
what this unruly customer just said.
- Wait.
545
00:33:54,288 --> 00:33:57,665
- She in here?
- This guy's going through all the eggs.
546
00:33:57,749 --> 00:34:00,293
This has been going on
for 20 minutes now.
547
00:34:00,376 --> 00:34:03,002
- What's he looking for?
- Said he has to find the perfect dozen.
548
00:34:03,127 --> 00:34:05,963
- Perfect dozen?
- Each egg has to be perfect.
549
00:34:06,047 --> 00:34:08,255
- The quest isn't going well?
- Obviously not.
550
00:34:08,339 --> 00:34:11,717
- Look at all the cartons
that didn't make the grade.
- Why doesn't he mix and match?
551
00:34:11,841 --> 00:34:14,344
- l told him that, and he yelled at me.
- What'd he say?
552
00:34:14,427 --> 00:34:17,720
He said
it was important to have standards.
He says no one has any pride anymore.
553
00:34:17,803 --> 00:34:20,055
It's not like
you laid the eggs yourself.
554
00:34:20,056 --> 00:34:23,101
I give him five more minutes.
After that, I'm calling the cops.
555
00:34:23,185 --> 00:34:26,145
I don't need this.
I'm not even supposed to be here today.
556
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:29,356
Two packs of cigarettes.
557
00:34:32,066 --> 00:34:35,526
- I'm as puzzled as you.
- I've actually seen it before.
558
00:34:35,609 --> 00:34:38,695
- You know him?
- No, but l know the behavior.
559
00:34:38,779 --> 00:34:41,822
- Let me guess. He's looking
for the perfect carton of eggs?
- [ Randal ] How'd you know?
560
00:34:41,906 --> 00:34:45,742
- I'll bet you a million dollars
he's a guidance counselor.
- [ Dante ] Why do you say that?
561
00:34:45,825 --> 00:34:49,830
I saw it happen in Food City,
Like, last year. Different guy, though.
562
00:34:49,955 --> 00:34:52,915
Stock boy said he'd been looking through
cartons of eggs for half an hour,
563
00:34:52,998 --> 00:34:55,501
doing all sorts
of endurance tests and stuff.
564
00:34:55,584 --> 00:34:57,960
I asked him why nobody ever called
the manager, and he said it happens...
565
00:34:58,002 --> 00:35:00,295
two, three times a week, sometimes more.
566
00:35:00,379 --> 00:35:02,589
- Get out of here.
- No, l kid you not.
567
00:35:02,673 --> 00:35:06,091
They call it shell shock. Seems to
only happen with guidance counselors.
568
00:35:06,174 --> 00:35:08,967
They used to make a big deal of it,
but they just let it go now...
569
00:35:09,009 --> 00:35:12,221
because they always pay
for whatever they break,
and they never bother anybody.
570
00:35:12,303 --> 00:35:14,221
Why guidance counselors?
571
00:35:14,304 --> 00:35:17,184
If your job was as meaningless
as theirs, wouldn't you go crazy too?
572
00:35:17,267 --> 00:35:20,728
- Come to think of it, my guidance
counselor was kinda worthless.
- See?
573
00:35:20,812 --> 00:35:23,188
It's important to have a job
that makes a difference, boys.
574
00:35:23,270 --> 00:35:28,400
That's why l manually masturbate caged
animals for artificial insemination.
575
00:35:30,943 --> 00:35:33,946
Go your own way
576
00:35:33,988 --> 00:35:39,157
You can call it
another lonely day
577
00:36:03,092 --> 00:36:06,886
Did you ever notice
that all the prices end in ""9""?
578
00:36:06,928 --> 00:36:08,887
Damn, that's eerie.
579
00:36:08,929 --> 00:36:12,808
- Do you know how much the average
jiz-mopper makes per hour?
- What's a jiz-mopper?
580
00:36:12,850 --> 00:36:16,103
The guy that cleans up the nudie booths
after each guy jerks off.
581
00:36:16,145 --> 00:36:18,230
- ""Nudie booth""?
- Yeah, nudie booth.
582
00:36:18,271 --> 00:36:20,856
- You ever been in a nudie booth?
- Guess not.
583
00:36:20,939 --> 00:36:22,899
Oh, man, it's great.
584
00:36:22,983 --> 00:36:25,400
You go into this booth, and there's
this glass between you and these chicks.
585
00:36:25,401 --> 00:36:28,778
- And they put on a show for you
for, like, ten bucks.
- What kind of a show?
586
00:36:28,820 --> 00:36:31,989
Think of the weirdest, craziest shit
you'd like to see chicks do.
587
00:36:32,031 --> 00:36:35,782
These chicks do it all. They insert
things into any opening on their body.
588
00:36:35,824 --> 00:36:38,203
- Any opening.
- Can we not talk about this now?
589
00:36:38,329 --> 00:36:41,414
The jiz-mopper's job is to clean it up
after each guy shoots a load.
590
00:36:41,539 --> 00:36:43,790
Practically everybody
does it right on the window.
591
00:36:43,874 --> 00:36:46,959
I don't know if you know this,
but cum leaves streaks
if you don't clean it right away.
592
00:36:47,001 --> 00:36:50,086
- l will never come to this place again.
- Excuse me?
593
00:36:50,128 --> 00:36:53,964
Using filthy language in front of
the customers. You both should be fired.
594
00:36:54,048 --> 00:36:57,591
Oh, l-I'm sorry.
I guess we kinda got carried away.
595
00:36:57,674 --> 00:37:00,676
I don't know
if sorry can make up for it.
596
00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:03,471
You've highly offended me.
597
00:37:03,554 --> 00:37:06,515
Well, if you think that's offensive,
check this out.
598
00:37:06,599 --> 00:37:08,476
Oh!
[ Screaming ]
599
00:37:08,517 --> 00:37:11,311
- l think you can see her kidneys.
- Why do you do things like that?
600
00:37:11,353 --> 00:37:14,188
- You know he's only going
to come back and tell the boss.
- Who cares?
601
00:37:14,313 --> 00:37:17,231
That guy's an asshole. Everybody
that comes in here is way too uptight.
602
00:37:17,273 --> 00:37:20,275
This job would be great
if it wasn't for the fucking customers.
603
00:37:20,359 --> 00:37:23,611
- Jesus! I'm gonna hear
from the boss tomorrow.
- Would you loosen up?
604
00:37:23,653 --> 00:37:26,780
You'd feel a lot better if you'd just
rip into the occasional customer.
605
00:37:26,905 --> 00:37:29,823
Why? l-l don't bother them
and they don't bother me.
606
00:37:29,865 --> 00:37:34,621
Liar! Tell me there aren't
customers that annoy the piss
out of you on a daily basis.
607
00:37:34,663 --> 00:37:37,330
- There aren't!
- How can you lie like that?
608
00:37:37,372 --> 00:37:42,960
Why don't you vent? Vent your
frustrations. Who pisses you off?
609
00:37:43,126 --> 00:37:46,461
Well, l guess it isn't
customers in particular.
610
00:37:46,586 --> 00:37:49,339
Maybe just a group of customers.
611
00:37:49,381 --> 00:37:53,675
- Well, let's hear it.
- Well, the Milk Maids.
612
00:37:53,716 --> 00:37:55,634
The Milk Maids?
613
00:37:55,676 --> 00:37:59,681
The women that go through every gallon
of milk, looking for that later date,
614
00:37:59,764 --> 00:38:02,724
as if somewhere beyond all the other
gallons is a container of milk...
615
00:38:02,808 --> 00:38:05,519
that won't go bad for like a decade.
616
00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:09,772
You know who l can do without?
The people in the video store.
617
00:38:09,855 --> 00:38:11,981
- Which ones?
- All of 'em.
618
00:38:12,064 --> 00:38:15,733
What would you get for a six-year-old
boy who chronically wets his bed?
619
00:38:15,775 --> 00:38:18,569
So, do you have any new movies in?
620
00:38:18,736 --> 00:38:23,406
Do you have that one
with that guy who was in
that movie that was out last year?
621
00:38:23,489 --> 00:38:25,365
They never rent quality flicks.
622
00:38:25,448 --> 00:38:28,661
They always pick the most intellectually
devoid movie on the racks.
623
00:38:28,744 --> 00:38:31,246
Oooh! Navy SEALS!
624
00:38:31,288 --> 00:38:34,873
It's like in order to join they have to
have an I.Q. less than their shoe size.
625
00:38:34,915 --> 00:38:38,960
You think you get stupid questions?
You should hear the barrage that l get.
626
00:38:39,002 --> 00:38:41,503
What do you mean there's no ice?
I've got to drink this coffee hot?
627
00:38:41,587 --> 00:38:44,921
So, how much is this thing anyway?
628
00:38:47,090 --> 00:38:49,801
Do you sell hubcaps
for a '72 Pinto hatchback?
629
00:38:49,926 --> 00:38:51,802
Ooh! Mini-Trucker magazine.
630
00:38:51,844 --> 00:38:54,889
- See? You vented. Don't you feel better?
- No.
631
00:38:54,973 --> 00:38:58,057
- Why not?
- Because my ex-girlfriend
is getting married.
632
00:38:58,099 --> 00:39:01,518
Jesus, you got a one-track mind.
It's always Caitlin, Caitlin, Caitlin.
633
00:39:01,643 --> 00:39:03,520
Veronica!
634
00:39:05,479 --> 00:39:08,773
- What happened to home by 12:00?
- Boss hasn't shown up yet.
635
00:39:08,857 --> 00:39:11,317
- How come you're not in class?
- Lit. 101 got cancelled.
636
00:39:11,358 --> 00:39:14,777
- So l stopped home
and l brought you some lunch.
- What is it?
637
00:39:14,861 --> 00:39:17,946
Peanut butter and jelly
with the crusts cut off.
What do you think it is?
638
00:39:18,030 --> 00:39:20,825
- it's lasagna.
- Really?
639
00:39:20,910 --> 00:39:23,368
Oh, you're the queen.
640
00:39:23,410 --> 00:39:26,371
I'm glad you calmed down a bit.
Hi, Randal.
641
00:39:26,455 --> 00:39:29,372
- Thirty-seven?
- Shut up!
642
00:39:29,414 --> 00:39:32,875
Yes, I've calmed down.
I'm not happy, but I'll be able to deal.
643
00:39:32,917 --> 00:39:37,003
- [ Sucking Sound ]
- Why don't you go back
to the video store?
644
00:39:41,423 --> 00:39:45,134
- You had to tell him?
- L had to tell someone.
He put it into perspective.
645
00:39:45,176 --> 00:39:48,013
- What did he say?
- He said at least he wasn't 36.
646
00:39:48,096 --> 00:39:50,056
And that made you feel better?
647
00:39:50,139 --> 00:39:53,558
And he said most of them were college
guys l never even seen or met before.
648
00:39:53,642 --> 00:39:56,727
- The ostrich syndrome:
If you don't see it...
- It isn't there. Yes.
649
00:39:56,810 --> 00:40:00,103
- Thank you for being rational.
- Thank you for the lasagna.
650
00:40:00,187 --> 00:40:02,231
- Couldn't get the shutters open?
- No.
651
00:40:02,314 --> 00:40:05,274
I called the locksmith.
He said the earliest he could
be here is tomorrow morning.
652
00:40:05,399 --> 00:40:08,068
Bummer. Well, l gotta
head back for the 1:30 class.
653
00:40:08,235 --> 00:40:12,238
- What time you get finished?
- 8:00, but l have
a sorority meeting 'til 9:00.
654
00:40:12,321 --> 00:40:15,033
So, I'll see you when you close then.
Can we go out for coffee?
655
00:40:15,075 --> 00:40:16,909
- Sure.
- Good.
656
00:40:17,117 --> 00:40:19,370
See you when you close.
Enjoy the lasagna.
657
00:40:19,411 --> 00:40:22,829
[ Door Opens, Closes ]
658
00:40:27,333 --> 00:40:30,460
[ Sucking Sound ]
659
00:40:36,756 --> 00:40:38,757
Vermont?
660
00:40:38,799 --> 00:40:42,051
No, that can't be.
I just talked to him this morning.
661
00:40:42,052 --> 00:40:44,805
He left at what time?
662
00:40:44,888 --> 00:40:49,141
He really went to Vermont? When
the hell was someone going to tell me?
663
00:40:49,225 --> 00:40:51,977
He promised me he'd be here by noon!
664
00:40:52,102 --> 00:40:56,355
Jesus, when does he get back? Tuesday?
You've gotta be fucking kidding me!
665
00:40:56,397 --> 00:40:58,855
I've got a hockey game at 2:00, and
the steel shutters are jammed closed.
666
00:40:58,898 --> 00:41:02,733
And he's in Vermont?
I'm not even supposed to be here today!
667
00:41:02,775 --> 00:41:05,194
[ Sighing ]
668
00:41:06,278 --> 00:41:08,655
So I'm stuck here until closing?
669
00:41:08,697 --> 00:41:12,743
Oh, this is just great.
I can't fucking believe this.
670
00:41:12,827 --> 00:41:14,703
Th...
671
00:41:14,744 --> 00:41:19,289
No. No, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to yell at you.
672
00:41:19,372 --> 00:41:21,874
Yeah, l know.
673
00:41:21,916 --> 00:41:25,543
No, l-I'll be all right.
674
00:41:25,585 --> 00:41:28,336
Well, that's all l can do, right?
Yeah.
675
00:41:28,378 --> 00:41:31,548
- All right, thanks. Bye.
- Vermont?
676
00:41:31,590 --> 00:41:34,424
- Can you fucking believe this?
- He didn't mention that to you
this morning?
677
00:41:34,592 --> 00:41:37,261
Not a word!
Not a fucking word, that slippery shit.
678
00:41:37,344 --> 00:41:39,597
- So, what? You're stuck here all day?
- Fuck!
679
00:41:39,638 --> 00:41:41,598
- Why'd you apologize?
- What?
680
00:41:41,681 --> 00:41:44,516
I heard you apologize. Why? You had
every reason in the world to be mad.
681
00:41:44,558 --> 00:41:47,602
- l know!
- Jesus! That seems to be
the leitmotif in your life.
682
00:41:47,727 --> 00:41:49,812
- Ever backing down.
- L don't back down!
683
00:41:49,937 --> 00:41:52,480
You always back down.
You assume blame that's not yours.
684
00:41:52,606 --> 00:41:55,316
You come in on your day off;
you buckle like a belt.
685
00:41:55,441 --> 00:41:58,359
- You know what really pisses me off?
- That I'm right about your buckling?
686
00:41:58,401 --> 00:42:01,027
- I'm going to miss the fucking game!
- Because you buckled.
687
00:42:01,152 --> 00:42:04,407
- Shut up with that shit.
It ain't helping!
- Don't yell at me, pal.
688
00:42:04,449 --> 00:42:06,658
- I'm sorry.
- See? There you go again.
689
00:42:06,742 --> 00:42:10,619
- l can't believe
I'm going to miss the fucking game.
- At least we're stuck here together.
690
00:42:10,620 --> 00:42:12,995
You got a customer.
691
00:42:12,996 --> 00:42:15,664
What?
What do you want?
692
00:42:19,542 --> 00:42:22,628
I can't fucking believe this.
693
00:42:22,711 --> 00:42:25,838
Yeah, hello, Sanford.
Dante.
694
00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:29,883
I can't play today.
I'm stuck at work.
695
00:42:29,966 --> 00:42:33,846
Yeah, l know I'm not scheduled today...
Forget it.
696
00:42:33,888 --> 00:42:38,641
Point is, l can't play today.
Neither can Randal. He's working too.
697
00:42:40,016 --> 00:42:43,852
Wait a second.
Do we have to play at the park?
698
00:42:43,936 --> 00:42:46,647
Hold on.
You feeling limber?
699
00:42:57,070 --> 00:42:59,990
- Pull my laces tighter, man.
- I've got to tell you, my friend,
700
00:43:00,074 --> 00:43:02,450
this is one of the most ballsiest moves
I've ever been privy to.
701
00:43:02,492 --> 00:43:05,452
I never thought you capable of such
a blatant disregard of store policy.
702
00:43:05,536 --> 00:43:08,497
- l told him l had a game today.
It's his own fault.
- No arguments here.
703
00:43:08,580 --> 00:43:11,623
- insubordination rules.
- L just want to play hockey
Like l was scheduled to.
704
00:43:11,748 --> 00:43:15,208
- I'm gonna grab a Gatorade.
- Lf you grab a Gatorade,
then everybody's gonna grab one.
705
00:43:15,209 --> 00:43:17,545
- So?
- Who's gonna pay for these Gatorades?
706
00:43:17,628 --> 00:43:20,420
- What do you care,
you shoe polish-smelling motherfucker?
- L have a responsibility here.
707
00:43:20,587 --> 00:43:23,506
- l can't have everybody
grabbing free drinks.
- What responsibility?
708
00:43:23,589 --> 00:43:26,511
- You're closing the store
to play hockey.
- He's blunt, but he's got a point.
709
00:43:26,594 --> 00:43:29,178
Will you let me maintain
some semblance of managerial control?
710
00:43:29,262 --> 00:43:31,764
No, I'm sayin'
if you're gonna be insubordinate,
might as well go the full nine,
711
00:43:31,806 --> 00:43:33,682
not pussy out
when it comes to free shit to drink.
712
00:43:33,723 --> 00:43:36,642
- He's right. As if we're going
to have a run on Gatorade.
- Fuckin' A.
713
00:43:36,767 --> 00:43:38,643
All right!
Jesus, you fuckers are pushy!
714
00:43:38,768 --> 00:43:41,979
- l hear Caitlin's
marrying an Asian drum major.
- Design major.
715
00:43:42,062 --> 00:43:44,189
- Can we not talk about this?
- Fine by me.
716
00:43:44,231 --> 00:43:46,941
But you're living in denial
and suppressing rage, motherfucker.
717
00:43:47,024 --> 00:43:49,776
- You going to lock the store?
- L don't know.
You're going to lock the video store?
718
00:43:49,860 --> 00:43:52,340
Look who you're asking here.
How're we gonna block the street?
719
00:43:52,361 --> 00:43:56,615
- We're not playing in the street.
- Then where are we gonna play?
720
00:44:02,745 --> 00:44:04,955
Hit 'em, hit 'em, hit 'em!
721
00:44:17,380 --> 00:44:20,843
[ Yelling ]
722
00:44:30,516 --> 00:44:33,518
I got it! l got it!
It's mine, it's mine!
723
00:44:42,733 --> 00:44:44,692
Yeah!
724
00:44:45,735 --> 00:44:48,197
[ Yelling Continues ]
725
00:44:53,201 --> 00:44:55,202
Hit 'em!
726
00:44:57,203 --> 00:44:59,329
All right, here we go.
I got it.
727
00:44:59,454 --> 00:45:01,623
- When is this period over?
- Eight more minutes.
728
00:45:01,748 --> 00:45:04,458
What, are you shitting me?
I wanna get cigarettes.
729
00:45:04,583 --> 00:45:08,043
- Just wait a few minutes.
- I'm gonna break my crazy neck
on this ladder.
730
00:45:08,084 --> 00:45:11,338
Now, lose the skates, Dorothy Hamill,
and open the fucking store!
731
00:45:11,379 --> 00:45:13,839
- Dante, where are you?
- He's busy!
- in a second!
732
00:45:13,923 --> 00:45:17,677
Fuck ""in a second""!
Oh, look at you. You can't even pass.
733
00:45:17,761 --> 00:45:20,845
- [ Dante ] l can pass!
- How about covering the point?
Man, you suck!
734
00:45:20,929 --> 00:45:24,349
- Who are you to make assessments?
- I'll assess all l want, pal!
735
00:45:24,389 --> 00:45:28,184
- Dante, you in or out?
- Don't pass to this guy.
He sucks. You suck!
736
00:45:28,226 --> 00:45:30,811
- Like you're any better?
- L can whip your ass any day, pal.
737
00:45:30,895 --> 00:45:33,854
- Easy to say over there.
- Give me a stick, pretty boy!
738
00:45:33,938 --> 00:45:37,066
I'll knock your fucking teeth out
and pass all over your ass!
739
00:45:37,149 --> 00:45:39,107
- You open?
- Yeah, you open?
740
00:45:39,191 --> 00:45:42,446
[ Together ] No!
741
00:45:42,530 --> 00:45:44,948
All right, there's a stick over there.
You're shooting up against this goal.
742
00:45:44,989 --> 00:45:47,449
Hey, Redding! Come on.
Get this fucker!
743
00:46:00,124 --> 00:46:01,708
Oh, man! Hey!
744
00:46:01,750 --> 00:46:04,752
Come on. Let's go, let's go!
Come on, come on. Get him!
745
00:46:04,836 --> 00:46:06,838
Come on. Get him, get him!
746
00:46:19,556 --> 00:46:23,851
- Give me another ball.
- There are no more.
747
00:46:23,934 --> 00:46:26,562
What the fuck you talking about?
How many balls you bring?
748
00:46:26,603 --> 00:46:30,148
I brought the orange one
and... the orange one.
749
00:46:30,231 --> 00:46:32,565
Hey, any balls down there?
750
00:46:32,648 --> 00:46:36,653
[ Jay ] About the biggest pair
you ever seen, dingleberry.
751
00:46:36,695 --> 00:46:39,905
- You only brought one ball?
- L thought Redding
brought all the balls.
752
00:46:39,947 --> 00:46:42,825
- [ Redding ] Dante had the balls.
- Nobody has another ball?
753
00:46:42,867 --> 00:46:44,784
Shit!
754
00:46:44,868 --> 00:46:49,120
We got what, 12 minutes of a game
and it's over? Fuck!
755
00:46:49,203 --> 00:46:52,956
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
I'm not even supposed to be here today.
756
00:46:54,874 --> 00:46:57,751
I still get free Gatorade, right?
757
00:47:08,552 --> 00:47:11,596
- Be careful.
- I'm trying.
758
00:47:11,762 --> 00:47:15,682
You know, the insides of those has
got stuff that can give you cancer.
759
00:47:15,724 --> 00:47:18,142
- So I'm told.
- Yeah.
760
00:47:18,225 --> 00:47:22,019
I had a friend that chewed glass
for a living. in the circus.
761
00:47:22,102 --> 00:47:25,520
- And he got cancer
from chewing fluorescent bulb glass?
- Nah.
762
00:47:25,521 --> 00:47:29,316
- Got hit by a bus.
- Oh. Can l help you?
763
00:47:31,403 --> 00:47:36,115
Well, uh, that depends.
You got maybe a toilet in here?
764
00:47:36,199 --> 00:47:39,241
- Yeah, but it's for employees only.
- L understand.
765
00:47:39,366 --> 00:47:42,826
But l, uh, thought maybe
you'd let me use it anyway.
766
00:47:42,827 --> 00:47:47,164
I'm not so young anymore and I'm,
how do you say, a little incontinent.
767
00:47:47,206 --> 00:47:51,249
- Sure. in the back, through the cooler.
- Thank you, sonny boy.
768
00:48:01,342 --> 00:48:05,303
Say, uh, what kind of toilet paper
you got back there?
769
00:48:05,386 --> 00:48:08,514
- The white kind.
- L didn't ask about the color.
770
00:48:08,597 --> 00:48:12,183
I mean, is it rough
or is it cottony?
771
00:48:12,225 --> 00:48:15,059
- Actually, it's kinda rough.
- Oh, boy!
772
00:48:15,142 --> 00:48:18,479
It's gonna knock the hell
out of my hemorrhoids.
773
00:48:18,561 --> 00:48:21,856
I thought maybe you could
Let me have a roll of the soft stuff.
774
00:48:21,898 --> 00:48:24,482
I see you sell
the soft stuff back there.
775
00:48:24,568 --> 00:48:27,320
- Yeah, but...
- Come on, boitshik!
What's the difference?
776
00:48:27,403 --> 00:48:30,781
You said yourself
you have the rough stuff in the back.
777
00:48:30,864 --> 00:48:33,449
- Yeah, sure. Go ahead.
- Thank you, sonny boy.
778
00:48:33,574 --> 00:48:35,492
You're a lifesaver.
779
00:48:44,164 --> 00:48:46,749
Say, young fella,
I hate to bother you again,
780
00:48:46,834 --> 00:48:50,502
but, uh, maybe l could have something
in the back there to read?
781
00:48:50,544 --> 00:48:52,506
A paper or something?
782
00:48:52,589 --> 00:48:54,881
Sometimes it takes me a while,
783
00:48:54,882 --> 00:48:57,676
and l like to have something
to read while it's going on.
784
00:48:57,717 --> 00:48:59,718
[ Dante ] Yeah, sure, go ahead.
785
00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:03,012
One of the magazines you got
in the back behind the counter.
786
00:49:03,054 --> 00:49:06,306
- The porno mags?
- Yeah!
787
00:49:06,348 --> 00:49:08,766
I like the cartoons.
They make me laugh.
788
00:49:08,850 --> 00:49:12,393
They draw some of the biggest titties
you ever saw.
789
00:49:12,394 --> 00:49:15,312
Not this one. Maybe the one
you got underneath this one.
790
00:49:15,438 --> 00:49:17,856
- They got bigger titties in there.
- Here.
791
00:49:17,897 --> 00:49:20,652
- Now leave me alone.
- Oh, thank you, sonny boy.
792
00:49:20,735 --> 00:49:22,653
I appreciate it.
793
00:49:26,321 --> 00:49:28,240
Hell of a game.
794
00:49:28,323 --> 00:49:31,993
One ball? l close the store, they come
all the way here, for one ball?
795
00:49:32,034 --> 00:49:34,202
Hockey is hockey.
At least we got to play.
796
00:49:34,453 --> 00:49:37,287
Twelve minutes is not a game.
Jesus, it's hardly even a warm-up.
797
00:49:37,288 --> 00:49:42,000
- Bitch, bitch, bitch.
You want something to drink?
- Yeah, a Gatorade.
798
00:49:42,083 --> 00:49:47,046
- Hey, what happened to all the Gatorade?
- Exactly. They drank it all.
799
00:49:47,130 --> 00:49:50,382
- Know what Sanford told me?
- L can't believe
Caitlin's getting married.
800
00:49:50,466 --> 00:49:52,383
- Julie Doyer died.
- Yeah, right.
801
00:49:52,508 --> 00:49:55,052
- No, I'm serious.
- Oh, my God!
802
00:49:55,094 --> 00:49:57,636
Sanford's brother dates her cousin.
He found out this morning.
803
00:49:57,720 --> 00:50:00,347
- How? When?
- Embolism in her brain. Yesterday.
804
00:50:00,389 --> 00:50:03,308
- Jesus!
- She was swimming in the pool
in the YMCA when it happened.
805
00:50:03,391 --> 00:50:07,352
- She died mid-backstroke.
- L haven't seen her in, like, two years.
806
00:50:07,394 --> 00:50:10,312
Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't she
one of the illustrious 12?
807
00:50:10,353 --> 00:50:14,108
- Yeah, number six.
- You've had sex with a dead person.
808
00:50:14,233 --> 00:50:16,944
- I'm gonna go to her wake.
- No, you're not. it's today.
809
00:50:16,986 --> 00:50:20,154
- What?
- Posten's Funeral Parlor.
Next show's at 4:00.
810
00:50:20,237 --> 00:50:23,281
- Shit! What about tomorrow?
- One night only.
She's buried in the morning.
811
00:50:23,406 --> 00:50:25,784
- You gotta watch the store.
I gotta go to this.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
812
00:50:25,867 --> 00:50:29,285
- Has it occurred to you
that l might be bereaved as well?
- You hardly knew her.
813
00:50:29,328 --> 00:50:32,370
True. But do you know
how many people are gonna be there?
814
00:50:32,454 --> 00:50:34,915
- All her old classmates,
to say the least.
- This is beneath even you.
815
00:50:34,998 --> 00:50:38,041
I'm not gonna miss what's probably
gonna be the social event of the season.
816
00:50:38,083 --> 00:50:41,379
- You hate people!
- But l love gatherings. isn't it ironic?
817
00:50:41,421 --> 00:50:44,215
Stop being an asshole.
Someone's gotta watch the store.
818
00:50:44,298 --> 00:50:46,341
- lf you go, l go.
- She meant nothing to you!
819
00:50:46,466 --> 00:50:49,051
She meant nothing to you neither
'til l told you she died.
820
00:50:49,093 --> 00:50:51,052
- I'm not taking you to this funeral.
- I'm going with you.
821
00:50:51,135 --> 00:50:54,679
- l can't close the store.
- You just closed the store
to play hockey on the roof.
822
00:50:54,763 --> 00:50:58,724
Exactly! Which means
I can't close it for another hour
just so we can both go to a wake.
823
00:50:58,808 --> 00:51:00,768
You were saying?
824
00:51:00,851 --> 00:51:04,645
Thanks for putting me in
such a tough spot. You're a good friend.
825
00:51:06,438 --> 00:51:09,692
- She was pretty young, huh?
- Twenty-two. Just like us.
826
00:51:09,734 --> 00:51:13,528
- Embolism in a pool.
- What an embarrassing way to die.
827
00:51:13,569 --> 00:51:17,114
- That's nothing compared
to how my cousin Walter died.
- How did he die?
828
00:51:17,239 --> 00:51:20,366
- He broke his neck.
- That's embarrassing?
829
00:51:20,449 --> 00:51:23,244
He broke his neck
trying to suck his own dick.
830
00:51:23,369 --> 00:51:25,412
- Shut the hell up.
- L swear.
831
00:51:25,494 --> 00:51:27,454
- Stop it.
- Bible truth.
832
00:51:27,538 --> 00:51:31,791
- Oh, my God!
- Come on. Haven't you ever
tried to suck your own dick?
833
00:51:31,833 --> 00:51:34,667
- No.
- Yeah, right. You're so repressed.
834
00:51:34,708 --> 00:51:38,380
- Because l never tried
to suck my own dick?
- No, because you won't admit to it.
835
00:51:38,463 --> 00:51:41,633
As if a guy's a fucking pervert
'cause he tries to go down on himself.
836
00:51:41,758 --> 00:51:44,509
You're as curious as the rest
of us, pal. You've tried it.
837
00:51:44,551 --> 00:51:47,511
- Who found him?
- My cousin? Mom found him.
838
00:51:47,594 --> 00:51:51,305
It was a mess. He was on his bed,
his legs doubled over himself.
839
00:51:51,431 --> 00:51:53,348
Mom freaked out.
840
00:51:53,390 --> 00:51:56,059
You know that you are
a shooting star
841
00:51:56,101 --> 00:51:59,645
- Made it, huh? Dick in his mouth?
- Yeah.
842
00:51:59,729 --> 00:52:02,481
Balls resting on his lips.
843
00:52:02,606 --> 00:52:06,151
- Wow. He really made it.
- Yeah, but at what a price.
844
00:52:08,737 --> 00:52:11,738
- l can never reach.
- Reach what?
845
00:52:11,822 --> 00:52:14,282
- You know.
- What, your dick?
846
00:52:14,323 --> 00:52:18,410
Yeah. Like you said, l guess everybody
gets curious and tries it sometime.
847
00:52:18,493 --> 00:52:20,452
I never tried it.
848
00:52:22,704 --> 00:52:24,580
Fucking pervert.
849
00:52:26,582 --> 00:52:31,087
Suddenly everyone loved
to hear him play his songs
850
00:52:31,129 --> 00:52:36,382
Watch the world go by
Surprising it goes so fast
851
00:52:36,424 --> 00:52:41,385
Johnny looked around him and said hey,
I've made the big time at last
852
00:52:43,387 --> 00:52:46,889
- l knew this was a bad idea
to close the store.
- Listen to you.
853
00:52:46,930 --> 00:52:50,850
I can't help it. At least on the roof,
I could see if anybody wanted to go in.
854
00:52:50,892 --> 00:52:53,144
Nobody's there.
It's 4:00 on a Saturday.
855
00:52:53,227 --> 00:52:55,811
How many people ever come to the store
at 4:00 on a Saturday?
856
00:52:57,690 --> 00:52:59,649
Let me in!
857
00:53:16,953 --> 00:53:19,039
[ Crashing Sound, Woman Screaming ]
858
00:53:25,461 --> 00:53:29,005
Do you know your place
859
00:53:29,130 --> 00:53:32,007
In the big charade
860
00:53:32,091 --> 00:53:36,594
Are you more than dead
861
00:53:36,761 --> 00:53:40,554
Leaders and followers
Leaders and followers
862
00:53:40,596 --> 00:53:42,972
- [ Door Closes ]
- L can't fucking believe you.
863
00:53:43,056 --> 00:53:45,015
I'm telling you, it wasn't my fault.
864
00:53:45,057 --> 00:53:48,143
- You knocked the casket over,
for Christ's sake!
- L was just leanin' on it.
865
00:53:48,185 --> 00:53:51,189
- it was an accident.
- Like someone knocks a casket over
on purpose!
866
00:53:51,231 --> 00:53:54,566
- So the casket fell over. Big deal.
- Her fucking body fell out!
867
00:53:54,650 --> 00:53:57,984
I put her back in it. it's not like
it matters if she breaks something.
868
00:53:58,026 --> 00:54:01,404
- Just go open the video store.
- [ Jay ] Open the video store!
869
00:54:01,487 --> 00:54:03,906
Shut the fuck up, junkie.
870
00:54:05,990 --> 00:54:09,910
- Would you just go open the video store?
- Yeah, you cock-smokin' clerk.
871
00:54:09,993 --> 00:54:12,745
How many times have l told you not
to be dealing in front of the store?
872
00:54:12,829 --> 00:54:14,746
I'm not dealing.
What're you talking about?
873
00:54:14,788 --> 00:54:17,082
- Have you got anything, man?
- What you want?
874
00:54:19,835 --> 00:54:22,671
- Let me borrow your car.
- L don't want to talk to you.
875
00:54:22,754 --> 00:54:26,173
- Fine. Just let me borrow your car.
- Why should l loan you my car?
876
00:54:26,215 --> 00:54:28,508
- l want to rent a movie.
- You want to rent a movie.
877
00:54:28,633 --> 00:54:31,218
- [ Sighs ]
- What's that for?
878
00:54:31,301 --> 00:54:34,887
- You work in a video store!
- L work in a shitty video store.
879
00:54:34,929 --> 00:54:39,224
I want to go to a good video store
so l can get a good movie.
880
00:54:40,391 --> 00:54:42,517
And a pack of cigarettes.
881
00:54:42,642 --> 00:54:45,604
- Cute cat. What's its name?
- Annoying customer.
882
00:54:45,688 --> 00:54:47,689
Fucking dickhead.
883
00:54:50,108 --> 00:54:53,110
Can you imagine being halfway decent
to the customers sometimes?
884
00:54:53,152 --> 00:54:55,570
- Let me borrow your car.
- May l be blunt with you?
885
00:54:55,611 --> 00:54:57,530
If you must.
886
00:54:57,655 --> 00:55:00,531
We are employees of Quick Stop
Convenience and RST Video, respectively.
887
00:55:00,614 --> 00:55:03,992
As such, we have certain obligations
that, although they may seem cruel
and unusual,
888
00:55:04,034 --> 00:55:06,870
- does mean manning the store
until closing.
- L see.
889
00:55:06,911 --> 00:55:10,497
So playing hockey and attending wakes
are standard operating procedures?
890
00:55:10,622 --> 00:55:15,002
There's a difference.
Those are obligations that couldn't
have been met at any other date.
891
00:55:15,085 --> 00:55:17,378
Now, renting videos, that's gratuitous,
not to mention illogical,
892
00:55:17,420 --> 00:55:19,839
being that you work at a video store.
893
00:55:19,922 --> 00:55:21,881
- Are you open?
- Yes.
894
00:55:21,964 --> 00:55:26,509
- l don't care for your rationale.
- It's gonna have to do,
being it's my car up for request.
895
00:55:26,593 --> 00:55:28,803
- Can l help you?
- A pack of cigarettes.
896
00:55:28,845 --> 00:55:32,556
- What's your point?
- My point is,
you're a clerk, paid to do a job.
897
00:55:32,639 --> 00:55:36,183
You can't just do anything
you want while you're working.
898
00:55:36,266 --> 00:55:40,312
"" Space alien revealed
as head of Time-Warner.
899
00:55:40,354 --> 00:55:43,357
Report stock increase. ""
900
00:55:43,440 --> 00:55:46,233
They print any kind of shit
in this paper.
901
00:55:46,275 --> 00:55:48,109
They certainly do.
Three dollars.
902
00:55:48,318 --> 00:55:50,862
- Your argument is
that title dictates behavior.
- What?
903
00:55:50,945 --> 00:55:54,113
The reason you won't
Let me use your car is because
I have a title and job description,
904
00:55:54,155 --> 00:55:56,532
- and I'm supposed to follow it, right?
- Exactly.
905
00:55:56,574 --> 00:55:59,951
I saw one one time that said,
906
00:56:00,035 --> 00:56:02,661
""The next week,
the world is ending.""
907
00:56:02,744 --> 00:56:05,163
In the next week's paper, they said,
908
00:56:05,246 --> 00:56:07,999
"" We were miraculously saved
at the zero hour...
909
00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:11,502
by a koala-fish mutant bird. ""
910
00:56:11,627 --> 00:56:13,420
[ Laughing ] Crazy shit.
911
00:56:13,504 --> 00:56:17,548
So I'm no more
responsible for my decisions here than,
say, a death squad soldier in Bosnia?
912
00:56:17,590 --> 00:56:20,716
That's stretching it. You're not being
asked to slay children or anything.
913
00:56:20,758 --> 00:56:23,386
- Yeah, not yet.
- And l remember one time...
914
00:56:25,512 --> 00:56:28,430
I'm gonna break your fucking head,
you fucking jerk!
915
00:56:28,472 --> 00:56:31,141
- I'm sorry. He meant to hit me.
- Yeah? Well, he missed.
916
00:56:31,183 --> 00:56:34,103
Here, let me refund your money
and we'll call if even, all right?
917
00:56:34,186 --> 00:56:36,188
I'll never come in here again.
918
00:56:36,271 --> 00:56:41,400
And if l see you again,
I'm gonna break your fucking head open!
919
00:56:44,069 --> 00:56:46,319
- What the fuck did you do that for?
- Two reasons.
920
00:56:46,403 --> 00:56:50,280
One, l hate it when people can't shut up
about the stupid tabloid headlines.
921
00:56:50,322 --> 00:56:53,825
- Oh, Jesus.
- And two, to prove a point.
Title does not dictate behavior.
922
00:56:53,908 --> 00:56:57,369
- What?
- Lf title dictated my behavior
as a clerk serving the public,
923
00:56:57,411 --> 00:57:00,370
I wouldn't be allowed to spit water
at that guy, but l did.
924
00:57:00,371 --> 00:57:02,958
My point is that
people dictate their own behavior.
925
00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:06,419
Even though l work in a video store,
I choose to rent movies at Big Choice.
926
00:57:06,544 --> 00:57:09,879
- Agreed?
- You are a danger
to both the dead and the living.
927
00:57:09,921 --> 00:57:12,423
I like to think
I'm a master of my own destiny.
928
00:57:12,464 --> 00:57:15,466
- Please get the hell outta here.
- You know I'm your hero.
929
00:57:21,345 --> 00:57:23,973
Sounds to me like somebody
needs to hit the gym.
930
00:57:24,015 --> 00:57:26,807
- Excuse me?
- L heard you strain
when you picked up that milk.
931
00:57:26,932 --> 00:57:29,937
- it only weighs seven pounds.
- L didn't strain. l sighed.
932
00:57:30,021 --> 00:57:32,313
I don't think so.
That was a grunt.
933
00:57:32,354 --> 00:57:35,857
A deep inhalation of oxygen
to aid in the stretching of muscles.
934
00:57:35,940 --> 00:57:40,068
I'm a trainer. l know what that
sound signifies. You're out of shape.
935
00:57:40,152 --> 00:57:43,321
- What? There's no fat on my body.
- No fat!
936
00:57:43,446 --> 00:57:45,822
No tone either.
You don't get enough exercise.
937
00:57:45,864 --> 00:57:47,866
- You open?
- Yes.
938
00:57:47,949 --> 00:57:50,659
- Just the paper.
- Thirty-five.
939
00:57:50,743 --> 00:57:54,369
Hey, uh, let me ask you a question.
Think this guy's out of shape?
940
00:57:54,494 --> 00:57:56,373
I don't know.
Can't really tell from here.
941
00:57:56,498 --> 00:57:59,292
- l am... l am not!
- He is.
942
00:57:59,334 --> 00:58:01,293
How much can you bench?
943
00:58:01,335 --> 00:58:04,421
- l don't know.
- I'd say about 60, 70, tops.
944
00:58:04,463 --> 00:58:06,380
I know l can bench more than that.
945
00:58:06,422 --> 00:58:09,257
- Three-fifty, four.
- No way!
946
00:58:09,299 --> 00:58:11,300
Feel that.
947
00:58:11,342 --> 00:58:14,177
Hey, that's tight.
Solid.
948
00:58:14,302 --> 00:58:16,510
Yeah. Now feel this.
Roll up your sleeve, chief.
949
00:58:16,511 --> 00:58:19,056
- Oh, for God's sakes!
- See, you're ashamed.
950
00:58:19,139 --> 00:58:21,140
You know you're out of shape.
951
00:58:21,182 --> 00:58:23,102
Here.
Take my card.
952
00:58:23,227 --> 00:58:25,102
I can get you on
an aerobics/free weights program.
953
00:58:25,144 --> 00:58:28,105
- Are you open?
- [ Dante ] Yes. I'm not out of shape.
954
00:58:28,189 --> 00:58:30,148
Excuse me.
Have you been here all day?
955
00:58:30,190 --> 00:58:33,317
- Yeah, since 6:00 this morning.
- He's got those love handles.
956
00:58:33,400 --> 00:58:35,402
I don't have love handles!
957
00:58:35,444 --> 00:58:37,570
- Were you working here about 4:00?
- Yes.
958
00:58:37,654 --> 00:58:40,572
- it's probably from being
around all this food every day.
- Oh, l know.
959
00:58:40,614 --> 00:58:44,241
If l had to work here all day,
I'd be bloated and out of shape too.
960
00:58:44,283 --> 00:58:47,035
- I'm not out of shape.
- Can l have your name, please?
961
00:58:47,117 --> 00:58:49,453
Dante Hicks. Why?
What's this all about?
962
00:58:49,536 --> 00:58:53,708
You're Dante Hicks? Oh, my God.
I didn't even recognize you.
963
00:58:53,792 --> 00:58:56,376
- Because he's out of shape!
- Do l know you?
964
00:58:56,417 --> 00:58:59,003
Yeah. Do you remember Alyssa Jones?
She used to hang out...
965
00:58:59,045 --> 00:59:00,879
- With Caitlin Bree!
- I'm her sister.
966
00:59:00,921 --> 00:59:02,839
You're Alyssa's sister Heather?
967
00:59:02,965 --> 00:59:05,049
- Yeah.
- You, uh, say Caitlin Bree?
968
00:59:05,174 --> 00:59:07,134
- Yeah.
- Pretty girl?
969
00:59:07,218 --> 00:59:09,760
A little taller than her?
Gorgeous body?
970
00:59:09,802 --> 00:59:11,845
- Yeah.
- And you're Dante Hicks.
971
00:59:11,929 --> 00:59:13,972
You went to the same school.
You played hockey.
972
00:59:14,055 --> 00:59:16,682
- Yeah. How did you know that?
- You still goin' out with her?
973
00:59:16,723 --> 00:59:18,851
- No, she's getting married.
- To you?
974
00:59:18,935 --> 00:59:20,937
No. To an Asian design major.
975
00:59:21,020 --> 00:59:22,980
Aw, shit!
976
00:59:23,021 --> 00:59:26,315
Don't take this the wrong way,
but, uh, l used to fuck her.
977
00:59:26,357 --> 00:59:28,818
- What?
- Yeah, about two, three years ago.
978
00:59:28,901 --> 00:59:31,652
While you two were dating.
I drove a black Trans Am.
979
00:59:31,777 --> 00:59:33,696
- You're Rick Daress?
- Yeah.
980
00:59:33,821 --> 00:59:35,738
- You know him?
- Yeah.
981
00:59:35,822 --> 00:59:38,324
- Caitlin used to
talk about him all the time.
- Really?
982
00:59:38,407 --> 00:59:42,493
Wait a second. You used to fuck
Caitlin Bree while l was dating her?
983
00:59:42,535 --> 00:59:45,372
Nah, man, don't let it bother you.
That was a long time ago.
984
00:59:45,455 --> 00:59:47,790
I'm surprised you didn't
know about it, Dante.
985
00:59:47,873 --> 00:59:50,583
Everybody in school knew about it.
Even in my class.
986
00:59:50,625 --> 00:59:52,627
Jesus Christ! What next?
987
00:59:52,752 --> 00:59:54,586
- Here you go.
- What's this?
988
00:59:54,670 --> 00:59:56,422
- A fine for $500.
- What?
989
00:59:56,505 --> 00:59:58,506
Five hundred bucks?
For what?
990
00:59:58,548 --> 01:00:03,092
For violation of New Jersey Statute,
Section 2A, Number 170/51.
991
01:00:03,175 --> 01:00:05,720
Any person who sells
or makes available tobacco,
992
01:00:05,803 --> 01:00:08,763
or tobacco-related products,
to persons under the age of 18,
993
01:00:08,805 --> 01:00:10,764
is regarded as disorderly.
994
01:00:10,806 --> 01:00:15,144
- What are you talkin' about?
- An angry mother called
the state division of taxation...
995
01:00:15,185 --> 01:00:17,186
and claimed
that a Quick Stop employee...
996
01:00:17,228 --> 01:00:20,356
sold her four-year-old daughter
a pack of cigarettes at 4:00 today.
997
01:00:20,398 --> 01:00:23,233
The New Jersey Division of Taxation
called the Board of Health...
998
01:00:23,317 --> 01:00:25,276
and sent me down to issue a fine.
999
01:00:25,318 --> 01:00:28,820
You claimed you were working here
all day. Hence, the fine is yours.
1000
01:00:28,862 --> 01:00:31,531
The fine is doubled due to
the incredibly young age of the child.
1001
01:00:31,655 --> 01:00:33,531
But l didn't sell any cigarettes
to any kids!
1002
01:00:33,615 --> 01:00:36,701
You sold cigarettes to a four-year-old?
What a scumbag!
1003
01:00:36,784 --> 01:00:38,871
That's sick, Dante.
1004
01:00:38,953 --> 01:00:41,122
I didn't sell cigarettes to any kids!
I swear!
1005
01:00:41,247 --> 01:00:46,209
The due date is on the bottom.
This summons cannot be contested
in any court of law.
1006
01:00:46,250 --> 01:00:48,335
Failure to remit before the due date...
1007
01:00:48,418 --> 01:00:50,337
will result
in a charge of criminal negligence,
1008
01:00:50,378 --> 01:00:52,254
and a warrant
will be issued for your arrest.
1009
01:00:52,338 --> 01:00:55,174
- Have a nice day.
- But l didn't sell
any cigarettes to any kids.
1010
01:00:55,257 --> 01:00:58,301
Hey, wait a minute!
1011
01:00:58,343 --> 01:01:02,845
Forget it. l don't wanna deal with a guy
that sells cigarettes to four-year-olds.
1012
01:01:02,929 --> 01:01:05,221
Can l, uh, give you
a lift somewhere?
1013
01:01:05,263 --> 01:01:08,185
Sure. How 'bout the beach?
1014
01:01:08,267 --> 01:01:10,226
I like the way you think.
1015
01:01:14,980 --> 01:01:16,941
Jesus! What next?
1016
01:01:17,024 --> 01:01:20,526
- [ Woman ] Dante?
- What? Caitlin!
1017
01:01:20,610 --> 01:01:24,904
[ Muzak ]
1018
01:01:43,168 --> 01:01:45,169
- When did you get home?
- Just now.
1019
01:01:45,211 --> 01:01:48,047
I can't believe it.
I haven't seen you in so long.
1020
01:01:50,215 --> 01:01:52,216
Dante, you have a customer.
1021
01:01:55,844 --> 01:01:58,178
I just saw Alyssa's
Little sister outside.
1022
01:01:58,220 --> 01:02:01,183
- She was with Rick Daress.
- Let's not talk about her.
1023
01:02:01,267 --> 01:02:04,225
- How'd you get home?
- Train. it took eight hours.
1024
01:02:04,226 --> 01:02:06,353
- l can't believe you're here.
- Excuse me. Do you have...
1025
01:02:06,436 --> 01:02:08,604
Uh, yeah. Back behind the oil.
How long you staying?
1026
01:02:08,687 --> 01:02:11,648
Until Monday.
Then l have to take the train back.
1027
01:02:11,731 --> 01:02:13,858
Pack of cigarettes.
Hey, congratulations.
1028
01:02:13,942 --> 01:02:15,901
I saw the announcement
in today's paper.
1029
01:02:15,985 --> 01:02:17,902
You know, she's marrying
an Asian design major.
1030
01:02:17,944 --> 01:02:19,903
So I'm told.
1031
01:02:25,865 --> 01:02:30,704
[ Hip-Hop ]
1032
01:02:48,758 --> 01:02:51,051
You're just gonna close
the store like that?
1033
01:02:51,135 --> 01:02:53,596
I wanna talk to you about something,
and l don't wanna be disturbed.
1034
01:02:53,637 --> 01:02:55,724
Something l read in the tabloids.
1035
01:02:55,765 --> 01:02:57,766
- You saw it.
- Very dramatic, l thought.
1036
01:02:57,892 --> 01:03:00,094
- it is not what you think.
- Oh, it's not what l think.
1037
01:03:00,101 --> 01:03:02,937
What is it, worse? You're pregnant
with the Asian design major's child?
1038
01:03:02,979 --> 01:03:05,063
- What's goin' on here?
- L am not pregnant.
1039
01:03:05,147 --> 01:03:07,773
Were you gonna tell me, or were
you gonna send me an invitation?
1040
01:03:07,857 --> 01:03:11,098
I was gonna tell you,
but we were getting along so well,
I didn't wanna mess it up.
1041
01:03:11,108 --> 01:03:13,193
You could've broken it to me gently.
1042
01:03:13,235 --> 01:03:16,113
You could've started
by telling me you had a boyfriend.
I told you l had a girlfriend.
1043
01:03:16,155 --> 01:03:20,197
I know. I'm sorry,
but when we started talking,
it was like l forgot l had a boyfriend.
1044
01:03:20,282 --> 01:03:22,702
- And then he proposed last month.
- And you said yes.
1045
01:03:22,785 --> 01:03:24,661
Well, kind of. Sort of.
1046
01:03:24,746 --> 01:03:27,537
Is that what they teach you in that
school of yours? ""Kind of,"" ""sort of""?
1047
01:03:27,538 --> 01:03:30,333
Everybody knows about this except me!
Do you know how humiliating that is?
1048
01:03:30,416 --> 01:03:33,292
I would've told you, and you would've
stopped calling me, like a baby.
1049
01:03:33,375 --> 01:03:35,377
- How do you know that?
- Because l know you.
1050
01:03:35,419 --> 01:03:38,004
You prefer drastic measures
to rational ones.
1051
01:03:38,130 --> 01:03:40,422
- So you're really getting married?
- No.
1052
01:03:40,464 --> 01:03:42,799
- You're not really getting married?
- [ Scoffs ]
1053
01:03:42,883 --> 01:03:47,178
The story goes like this: He proposed,
I told him l had to think about it,
1054
01:03:47,220 --> 01:03:49,306
and he insisted
that l wear the ring anyway.
1055
01:03:49,389 --> 01:03:51,849
Then my mother told the paper
we were engaged.
1056
01:03:51,933 --> 01:03:54,434
- Oh, how like her.
- Then my mother called this morning...
1057
01:03:54,517 --> 01:03:56,936
to let me know that
the announcement was in the paper.
1058
01:03:57,061 --> 01:04:00,188
That's when l hopped a train
to come back here,
because l knew you'd be a wreck.
1059
01:04:00,230 --> 01:04:02,856
- Thanks for the vote of confidence.
- Was l right?
1060
01:04:03,023 --> 01:04:04,942
""Wreck"" is a harsh term.
1061
01:04:05,025 --> 01:04:07,026
""Disturbed"" is more like it.
""Mildly disturbed,"" even.
1062
01:04:07,193 --> 01:04:10,695
Oh, l love a macho facade.
It is such a turn-on.
1063
01:04:10,779 --> 01:04:14,657
- What smells like shoe polish?
- So you came here to what?
To comfort me?
1064
01:04:14,740 --> 01:04:17,780
The last thing l needed was for you to
think l was hiding something from you.
1065
01:04:17,826 --> 01:04:20,120
- But you were!
- No, l wasn't! Not really.
1066
01:04:20,162 --> 01:04:22,080
I told you
I'd been seeing other people.
1067
01:04:22,205 --> 01:04:25,082
Yeah, but not seriously. Christ,
you're ready to walk down the aisle.
1068
01:04:25,123 --> 01:04:27,167
I think that constitutes something
more than just seeing somebody.
1069
01:04:27,251 --> 01:04:30,377
- What's going on?
- I'm giving him his ring back.
1070
01:04:30,502 --> 01:04:32,921
- What?
- [ Sighs ] l don't want to marry him.
1071
01:04:32,963 --> 01:04:35,922
I don't want to get married now.
I'm on the verge of graduation.
1072
01:04:36,006 --> 01:04:39,466
I want to go to grad school after this,
and then l want to start a career.
1073
01:04:39,508 --> 01:04:42,094
I don't want to be a wife first
and then have to worry about...
1074
01:04:42,177 --> 01:04:44,138
when I'm gonna
fit in the other stuff.
1075
01:04:44,180 --> 01:04:46,723
I have come way too far
and studied too damn hard...
1076
01:04:46,765 --> 01:04:49,560
to let my education
go to waste as a housewife.
1077
01:04:49,643 --> 01:04:51,602
And l know
that's what I'd become.
1078
01:04:51,686 --> 01:04:55,313
Sang's just signed with a major firm,
and he's gonna be pulling in
a huge salary,
1079
01:04:55,397 --> 01:04:57,605
which would give me
no reason to work.
1080
01:04:57,689 --> 01:04:59,691
- He's very traditional.
- Wait a minute.
1081
01:04:59,774 --> 01:05:03,110
- His name is ""Sang""? Past tense?
- Stop it. He's a nice guy.
1082
01:05:03,151 --> 01:05:05,736
Well, if he's so nice,
why aren't you marrying him?
1083
01:05:05,778 --> 01:05:08,905
- l just told you.
- There's more to this, isn't there?
1084
01:05:09,030 --> 01:05:11,743
Oh! Why, Mr. Hicks,
whatever do you mean?
1085
01:05:11,827 --> 01:05:15,036
- Tell me l don't
have something to do with it.
- You have nothing to do with it.
1086
01:05:15,120 --> 01:05:17,201
- Oh, you lie!
- Look how full of yourself you are!
1087
01:05:17,289 --> 01:05:19,289
I just believe in giving credit
where credit's due,
1088
01:05:19,372 --> 01:05:21,708
and l believe I'm the impetus
behind your refusal to wed.
1089
01:05:21,749 --> 01:05:25,836
If I'm so nuts about you, then why am l
having sex with an Asian design major?
1090
01:05:25,919 --> 01:05:28,087
Oh, Jesus. You're so caustic.
1091
01:05:28,170 --> 01:05:30,796
I had to knock you down
from that cloud you were floating on.
1092
01:05:30,797 --> 01:05:33,299
When l say l don't want to get married,
I mean just that.
1093
01:05:33,382 --> 01:05:36,384
I don't want to marry anybody.
Not for years.
1094
01:05:36,467 --> 01:05:38,680
Who's asking?
I don't want to marry you.
1095
01:05:38,722 --> 01:05:41,306
Well, good.
Keep in that frame of mind.
1096
01:05:41,347 --> 01:05:44,893
- Well, let's date.
- Oh, l think Sang and... Veronica,
1097
01:05:44,975 --> 01:05:46,976
they'd love that.
1098
01:05:47,059 --> 01:05:48,978
We can introduce the two of them.
They may hit it off.
1099
01:05:49,061 --> 01:05:51,188
You're serious?
You wanna date again?
1100
01:05:51,313 --> 01:05:53,148
I wanna be your boyfriend, yes.
1101
01:05:53,315 --> 01:05:55,774
It's just the shock of seeing me
after three years.
1102
01:05:55,858 --> 01:05:58,776
- Believe me, you'll get over it.
- Give me a bit more credit.
1103
01:05:58,818 --> 01:06:00,695
I think it's time
we got back together.
1104
01:06:00,820 --> 01:06:03,821
I'm more mature, you're more mature.
You're finishing college.
1105
01:06:03,905 --> 01:06:06,659
- I'm already in the job market.
- You work in a market, all right.
1106
01:06:06,701 --> 01:06:08,902
Cute. Tell me you wouldn't
wanna go out with me again...
1107
01:06:08,951 --> 01:06:10,952
after all the talking we've been doing.
1108
01:06:10,953 --> 01:06:12,913
The key word here is ""talk,"" Dante.
1109
01:06:13,079 --> 01:06:15,040
I think the idea,
or the conception of us dating,
1110
01:06:15,123 --> 01:06:17,999
is a lot more idyllic than
what actually happens when we date.
1111
01:06:18,082 --> 01:06:21,044
What are we supposed to do?
Pretend over the phone we're dating?
1112
01:06:21,127 --> 01:06:23,587
I don't know.
Maybe we should just see what happens.
1113
01:06:23,629 --> 01:06:25,880
- Let me take you out tonight.
- On a date?
1114
01:06:25,963 --> 01:06:28,508
Yeah, a real date.
Dinner and a movie.
1115
01:06:28,633 --> 01:06:31,008
Oh, the ""Dante Hicks
Dinner and Movie"" date.
1116
01:06:31,133 --> 01:06:35,263
- l think I've been on that one before.
- Do you have a better suggestion?
1117
01:06:35,347 --> 01:06:37,349
Well, how 'bout the "" Caitlin Bree...
1118
01:06:37,390 --> 01:06:41,227
Walk On The Boardwalk, Then Get
Naked Somewhere "" kind of private date?
1119
01:06:41,310 --> 01:06:43,727
- l hear that's kind of a popular date.
- Jerk!
1120
01:06:43,852 --> 01:06:47,189
God, here l am, throwing myself at you,
succumbing to your wily charms,
1121
01:06:47,271 --> 01:06:49,690
and you're calling me a slut
in so many words.
1122
01:06:49,732 --> 01:06:52,025
- What about Sing?
- Sang!
1123
01:06:52,067 --> 01:06:54,652
- He's not invited.
- He's your fiancé.
1124
01:06:54,693 --> 01:06:57,821
I'm offering you my body,
and you're offering me semantics.
1125
01:06:57,904 --> 01:07:01,574
He's just a boyfriend, Dante, and
in case you haven't gotten the drift...
1126
01:07:01,575 --> 01:07:04,285
of why l came all the way here
from Ohio...
1127
01:07:04,369 --> 01:07:06,954
Duh! I'm about
to become single again.
1128
01:07:07,037 --> 01:07:10,039
And, yes,
allow me to placate your ego.
1129
01:07:10,164 --> 01:07:13,166
You are the inspiration
for this bold and momentous decision...
1130
01:07:13,250 --> 01:07:16,419
that will probably get me ostracized
from both school and home.
1131
01:07:16,461 --> 01:07:18,878
You ask me who l choose.
1132
01:07:18,920 --> 01:07:21,381
I choose you.
1133
01:07:21,506 --> 01:07:24,048
- So, what are you saying?
- You are such an asshole.
1134
01:07:24,173 --> 01:07:27,844
- I'm just kidding!
- L can already see
this is not gonna work out.
1135
01:07:27,845 --> 01:07:30,931
- I'll ask Randal to close up
when he gets back.
- Where is he, anyway?
1136
01:07:30,973 --> 01:07:33,134
I thought he'd be at your side
Like an obedient lapdog.
1137
01:07:33,223 --> 01:07:35,392
He went to go rent a movie.
He isn't back yet.
1138
01:07:35,475 --> 01:07:37,560
Ah, screw it.
I'll close up and leave him a note.
1139
01:07:37,643 --> 01:07:41,187
You are too responsible.
But no, l have to go home first.
1140
01:07:41,229 --> 01:07:43,481
They don't even know
I've left school yet.
1141
01:07:43,565 --> 01:07:46,107
And l should break
the disengagement news to my mother,
1142
01:07:46,190 --> 01:07:49,235
which is gonna cause quite a row
considering she loves Sang.
1143
01:07:49,360 --> 01:07:52,904
- Who doesn't?
- Well, me, l guess.
1144
01:07:52,946 --> 01:07:55,907
[ Sighs ] So l shall
take my leave of you,
1145
01:07:55,949 --> 01:07:57,950
but l will return in a little while,
1146
01:07:57,951 --> 01:08:01,078
at which time, yes, l would love to
go for dinner and a movie with you.
1147
01:08:01,120 --> 01:08:03,079
What happened to the walk
and the nakedness?
1148
01:08:03,204 --> 01:08:05,665
I'm easy, but I'm not that easy.
1149
01:08:05,748 --> 01:08:07,666
See you later, handsome.
1150
01:08:13,253 --> 01:08:14,713
Yes!
1151
01:08:14,880 --> 01:08:19,674
[ Hip-Hop ]
1152
01:08:32,894 --> 01:08:35,103
- Get to work.
- Hey, what'd you rent?
1153
01:08:36,688 --> 01:08:38,606
Best of Both Worlds?
1154
01:08:38,689 --> 01:08:41,149
Hermaphroditic porn.
Starlets with both organs.
1155
01:08:41,274 --> 01:08:44,276
You should see the box. Beautiful chicks
with dicks that put mine to shame.
1156
01:08:44,318 --> 01:08:46,903
- And you rented this?
- Hey, l like to expand my horizons.
1157
01:08:47,028 --> 01:08:49,781
- l got fined
for selling cigarettes to a minor.
- No way.
1158
01:08:49,865 --> 01:08:51,908
- Five hundred dollars.
- You're bullshittin'.
1159
01:08:51,949 --> 01:08:53,950
No, I'm not.
1160
01:08:56,077 --> 01:08:58,579
Holy shit! l didn't even
think they enforced this.
1161
01:08:58,621 --> 01:09:01,080
- Living proof.
- L thought you never
sold cigarettes to kids.
1162
01:09:01,122 --> 01:09:03,290
- l didn't. You did.
- Really?
1163
01:09:03,458 --> 01:09:05,584
Yep. A little girl,
maybe four years old.
1164
01:09:05,709 --> 01:09:08,795
- Holy shit! That girl?
- Yeah, as opposed to hundreds
of other children...
1165
01:09:08,836 --> 01:09:10,754
you've sold cigarettes
while working here.
1166
01:09:10,879 --> 01:09:13,048
- Then how come you got the fine?
- 'Cause I'm here.
1167
01:09:13,131 --> 01:09:15,049
- You're lyin'.
- No, I'm not.
1168
01:09:15,174 --> 01:09:17,303
- Why aren't you screaming at me now?
- 'Cause I'm happy.
1169
01:09:17,345 --> 01:09:19,512
- I'm happy.
- You're happy to get a fine?
1170
01:09:19,595 --> 01:09:22,598
- No, because Caitlin came to see me.
- Now l know you're lyin'.
1171
01:09:22,681 --> 01:09:24,849
- I'm not. She just left.
- What'd she say?
1172
01:09:24,890 --> 01:09:27,100
She's not marrying that guy.
She went home to tell her mom.
1173
01:09:27,184 --> 01:09:29,143
- You're kiddin'.
- I'm not.
1174
01:09:29,227 --> 01:09:31,437
Well, you've had quite an evening.
1175
01:09:31,521 --> 01:09:33,897
She went home and she's getting ready
and we're going out.
1176
01:09:33,939 --> 01:09:36,357
I feel so ineffectual.
Is there anything l can do for you?
1177
01:09:36,398 --> 01:09:38,274
Watch the store
while l go home and change?
1178
01:09:38,399 --> 01:09:40,318
What happened to
""Title dictates behavior""?
1179
01:09:40,443 --> 01:09:42,947
Well, this is my way
of spitting water at life.
1180
01:09:43,030 --> 01:09:46,032
All right. You want me to bring
the VCR over so we can watch this?
1181
01:09:46,074 --> 01:09:48,115
No, l might be leaving early
to go out with Caitlin,
1182
01:09:48,118 --> 01:09:50,238
in which case, you're gonna lock up
the store tonight.
1183
01:09:50,244 --> 01:09:52,369
All right, but you're missin' out.
Chicks with dicks.
1184
01:09:52,453 --> 01:09:57,374
[
""Berserker"" On Tape Deck ]
1185
01:10:15,179 --> 01:10:20,099
[ Laughing ]
1186
01:10:20,224 --> 01:10:24,601
- [ Man Moaning ]
- [ Woman ] Uh, no. Oh.
1187
01:10:24,602 --> 01:10:26,812
Well, Randal Graves,
1188
01:10:26,937 --> 01:10:28,897
scourge of the video renter.
1189
01:10:28,981 --> 01:10:33,275
Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Asian
Design Major herself, Caitlin Bree.
1190
01:10:33,316 --> 01:10:36,944
You saw that article? God, isn't
it awful? My mother sent that in.
1191
01:10:37,027 --> 01:10:40,865
- l take it she likes the guy.
- You'd think she's marrying him.
1192
01:10:40,948 --> 01:10:43,867
- What are you watching?
- Children's programming.
1193
01:10:43,950 --> 01:10:46,592
What'd your mom say when you told her
you weren't engaged anymore?
1194
01:10:46,619 --> 01:10:49,411
She said not to come home
until after graduation.
1195
01:10:49,412 --> 01:10:51,581
Wow! You got thrown out for Dante?
1196
01:10:51,622 --> 01:10:54,291
What can l say?
He does weird things to me.
1197
01:10:54,332 --> 01:10:56,334
- Ooh, can l watch?
- You can hold me down.
1198
01:10:56,376 --> 01:10:59,043
- Can l join in?
- You might be let down.
1199
01:10:59,085 --> 01:11:01,713
- I'm not a hermaphrodite.
- Hey, few are.
1200
01:11:01,880 --> 01:11:05,634
What makes you think you can maintain a
relationship with him this time around?
1201
01:11:05,717 --> 01:11:07,676
A woman's intuition.
1202
01:11:07,718 --> 01:11:10,637
Something inside of me says it's time
to give the old boy a serious try.
1203
01:11:10,721 --> 01:11:14,015
Wow! Hey, you know,
you and l have something in common.
1204
01:11:14,098 --> 01:11:16,433
- We both eat Chinese.
- [ Scoffs ] Dick.
1205
01:11:16,558 --> 01:11:18,851
- Exactly.
- So where is he?
1206
01:11:18,893 --> 01:11:20,935
He went home to change for the big date.
1207
01:11:20,977 --> 01:11:24,188
- God, isn't he great?
- No. This is great.
1208
01:11:24,229 --> 01:11:26,857
Oh, lord.
Can l use your bathroom?
1209
01:11:26,940 --> 01:11:29,608
- There's no lights back there.
- Why aren't there any lights?
1210
01:11:29,691 --> 01:11:32,946
There are, but for some reason
they stop working at 5:14 every night.
1211
01:11:33,030 --> 01:11:35,156
- You're kidding.
- Nobody can figure it out.
1212
01:11:35,323 --> 01:11:37,365
The boss doesn't want
to pay the electrician to fix it...
1213
01:11:37,407 --> 01:11:39,743
'cause the electrician
owes money to the video store.
1214
01:11:39,826 --> 01:11:43,036
- Such a sordid state of affairs.
- And I'm caught in the middle,
1215
01:11:43,119 --> 01:11:47,081
torn between my loyalty for the boss and
my desire to piss with the lights on.
1216
01:11:47,122 --> 01:11:49,458
Well, I'll try to manage.
1217
01:11:49,500 --> 01:11:51,334
Oh, hey, Caitlin?
1218
01:11:51,459 --> 01:11:53,543
Break his heart again this time,
and I'll kill ya.
1219
01:11:53,627 --> 01:11:55,544
Nothing personal.
1220
01:11:55,628 --> 01:11:58,506
You are very protective of him, Randal.
You always have been.
1221
01:11:58,631 --> 01:12:01,217
Territoriality.
He was mine first.
1222
01:12:01,300 --> 01:12:03,385
Oh, that was so cute.
1223
01:12:04,636 --> 01:12:06,596
[ Sighs ]
1224
01:12:10,181 --> 01:12:12,517
[ Clock Ticking ]
1225
01:12:12,600 --> 01:12:15,685
[ Bed Squeaking,
People Moaning On Video ]
1226
01:12:15,727 --> 01:12:17,645
Who eats cock?
1227
01:12:17,686 --> 01:12:19,855
Bunch of savages in this town.
1228
01:12:19,897 --> 01:12:21,856
Hey, Caitlin's in the back.
You might want to check on her.
1229
01:12:21,981 --> 01:12:24,858
- She's been back there a long time.
- There are no lights back there.
1230
01:12:24,900 --> 01:12:27,695
I told her that.
She said she didn't need any.
1231
01:12:27,779 --> 01:12:30,781
Why don't you go join her?
Make a little bathroom bam-bam.
1232
01:12:30,864 --> 01:12:33,117
Oh, l love your sexy talk.
It's so kindergarten.
1233
01:12:33,158 --> 01:12:35,284
- ""Poo-poo,"" ""wee-wee.""
- Fuck you.
1234
01:12:35,326 --> 01:12:37,327
[ Door Opening ]
1235
01:12:37,369 --> 01:12:39,912
[ Woman Moaning On Video ]
1236
01:12:39,995 --> 01:12:41,914
[ Man On Video ] I said stop.
1237
01:12:41,956 --> 01:12:46,418
- [ Woman ] Oh, God.
- [ Man ] it's all about pain,
you bastard!
1238
01:12:46,500 --> 01:12:48,960
[ Woman Moaning On Video ]
1239
01:12:49,085 --> 01:12:51,003
How did you get here so fast?
1240
01:12:51,045 --> 01:12:53,257
I left like an hour ago.
1241
01:12:53,340 --> 01:12:57,093
Do you always talk this weird
after you violate a woman?
1242
01:12:57,176 --> 01:12:59,510
Maybe the Asian design major
slipped her some opium.
1243
01:12:59,553 --> 01:13:02,971
- Could be.
- It has never been like that before.
1244
01:13:03,012 --> 01:13:05,723
Like what?
1245
01:13:05,765 --> 01:13:09,226
When you just lay perfectly still
and let me do everything.
1246
01:13:09,268 --> 01:13:11,227
Am l missing something here?
1247
01:13:11,269 --> 01:13:12,853
Okay.
1248
01:13:12,937 --> 01:13:15,689
I went back there
and Dante was already waiting for me.
1249
01:13:15,731 --> 01:13:18,566
- He was?
- It was so cool.
1250
01:13:18,649 --> 01:13:21,069
He didn't say a word.
He didn't have to.
1251
01:13:21,153 --> 01:13:24,822
[ Sighs ]
He was just... ready.
1252
01:13:24,905 --> 01:13:28,032
You know. And, like,
we didn't kiss or talk or anything.
1253
01:13:28,116 --> 01:13:30,533
He just sat there
and let me do all the work.
1254
01:13:30,616 --> 01:13:32,994
You dog!
I didn't even see you go back there.
1255
01:13:33,035 --> 01:13:36,329
The fact that there
weren't any lights on made it so...
1256
01:13:36,413 --> 01:13:38,289
God, that was so great!
1257
01:13:38,330 --> 01:13:40,499
My legs are still shaking.
1258
01:13:42,292 --> 01:13:44,627
- it wasn't me.
- [ Scoffs ]
1259
01:13:44,669 --> 01:13:47,086
Yeah, right.
Who was it, then? Randal?
1260
01:13:47,170 --> 01:13:49,424
- Was it you?
- L was up here the whole time.
1261
01:13:49,466 --> 01:13:52,675
- You two better quit it.
- I'm serious.
1262
01:13:52,717 --> 01:13:55,219
Oh, so we didn't
just have sex in the bathroom?
1263
01:13:55,261 --> 01:13:57,304
No.
1264
01:14:00,431 --> 01:14:02,349
Stop it.
This isn't funny.
1265
01:14:02,433 --> 01:14:05,476
I'm not fooling around.
I just came in from outside.
1266
01:14:05,517 --> 01:14:07,978
- This isn't fucking funny, Dante.
- I'm not kidding.
1267
01:14:08,062 --> 01:14:10,313
- Who went back there?
- Nobody. l swear.
1268
01:14:10,354 --> 01:14:12,856
- l feel nauseous.
- Are you sure there was
someone back there?
1269
01:14:12,939 --> 01:14:15,360
Well, l didn't just fuck myself!
Jesus Christ!
1270
01:14:15,444 --> 01:14:17,945
- God, I'm gonna be sick!
- You just fucked a total stranger?
1271
01:14:18,029 --> 01:14:19,906
- Shut the fuck up!
- L can't believe this.
1272
01:14:19,946 --> 01:14:21,822
- Call the police.
- Why?
- No, don't!
1273
01:14:21,906 --> 01:14:23,823
There's a stranger in our bathroom!
He just raped Caitlin!
1274
01:14:23,907 --> 01:14:26,409
- She said she did all the work.
- Will you shut the fuck up?
1275
01:14:26,493 --> 01:14:28,410
Who the fuck's in our bathroom?
1276
01:14:29,578 --> 01:14:31,704
[ Woman ] Who is he?
1277
01:14:31,788 --> 01:14:34,915
[ Dante ] l don't know. He just came in
and asked to use the bathroom.
1278
01:14:34,956 --> 01:14:36,916
- What time was this?
- L don't know.
1279
01:14:36,957 --> 01:14:39,001
What time did hockey end?
1280
01:14:39,043 --> 01:14:41,002
Um, like 3:00, 3:30.
1281
01:14:41,044 --> 01:14:43,798
- What time we get back from the funeral?
- 4:00, l think.
1282
01:14:43,839 --> 01:14:46,424
- Wait. Who was working here?
- Just me.
1283
01:14:46,550 --> 01:14:49,385
I thought you just said you went to
play hockey and then went to a funeral.
1284
01:14:49,426 --> 01:14:51,970
- Yeah, we did.
- Then who was operating the store?
1285
01:14:52,054 --> 01:14:54,930
- Nobody. it was closed.
- With this guy locked in here?
1286
01:14:55,013 --> 01:14:58,350
Well, everything happened so quickly,
I guess l forgot he was back there.
1287
01:14:58,474 --> 01:15:00,893
- [ Man ] Can we take it now?
- Go ahead.
1288
01:15:06,563 --> 01:15:08,774
Was he alive when Caitlin...
1289
01:15:08,899 --> 01:15:11,402
No. l place the time
of death about 3:20.
1290
01:15:11,485 --> 01:15:14,029
Then how could she... You know.
1291
01:15:14,113 --> 01:15:17,531
[ Coroner ]
The body can maintain an erection
after expiration, sometimes for hours.
1292
01:15:17,656 --> 01:15:19,574
Did he have the adult magazine
when he came in?
1293
01:15:19,658 --> 01:15:21,575
Uh, no. l gave it to him.
1294
01:15:22,702 --> 01:15:24,661
He asked me for it.
1295
01:15:24,744 --> 01:15:27,745
I can't say for certain until we get
him back to the lab, but my guess is...
1296
01:15:27,746 --> 01:15:29,956
he was masturbating,
his heart seized and he died.
1297
01:15:30,039 --> 01:15:32,041
That's when the girl found him.
[ Sniffing ]
1298
01:15:32,083 --> 01:15:34,167
Uh, something smells
Like shoe polish.
1299
01:15:34,251 --> 01:15:36,839
This has got to be the weirdest thing
you've ever been called in on.
1300
01:15:36,880 --> 01:15:41,717
Actually, l once had
to tag a kid that broke his neck
trying to put his mouth on his penis.
1301
01:15:41,800 --> 01:15:43,718
What about Caitlin?
1302
01:15:43,843 --> 01:15:47,010
[ Coroner ] Shock trauma. She's gonna
need years of therapy after this.
1303
01:15:47,011 --> 01:15:50,389
My question is: How did she come
to have sex with a dead man?
1304
01:15:50,514 --> 01:15:53,057
She thought it was me.
1305
01:15:53,141 --> 01:15:56,268
What kind of convenience store
do you run here?
1306
01:16:04,317 --> 01:16:09,112
[ Siren Blaring ]
1307
01:16:15,158 --> 01:16:20,036
[ Humming
""Theme from Jaws"" ]
1308
01:16:22,954 --> 01:16:24,581
Salsa shark.
1309
01:16:24,706 --> 01:16:26,540
""We're gonna need a bigger boat.""
1310
01:16:29,043 --> 01:16:32,379
Man goes into cage,
cage goes into salsa.
1311
01:16:32,588 --> 01:16:34,965
Shark's in the salsa.
Our shark.
1312
01:16:36,341 --> 01:16:38,343
Oh, what?
What's with you, man?
1313
01:16:38,384 --> 01:16:41,344
You haven't said anything
for, like, 20 minutes.
What the hell's your problem?
1314
01:16:41,385 --> 01:16:43,846
- [ Sighs ] This life.
- ""This life""?
1315
01:16:43,929 --> 01:16:45,847
Why do l have this life?
1316
01:16:45,889 --> 01:16:47,849
Have some chips.
You'll feel better.
1317
01:16:47,932 --> 01:16:51,643
I'm stuck in this pit,
working for less than slave wages,
1318
01:16:51,727 --> 01:16:53,686
working on my day off.
1319
01:16:53,811 --> 01:16:55,812
The goddamn steel shutters are closed.
1320
01:16:55,937 --> 01:16:58,733
I deal with every backward-assed fuck
on the planet.
1321
01:16:58,775 --> 01:17:00,735
I smell like shoe polish.
1322
01:17:00,818 --> 01:17:03,694
My ex-girlfriend is catatonic
after fucking a dead guy,
1323
01:17:03,778 --> 01:17:06,614
and my present girlfriend
has sucked 36 dicks.
1324
01:17:06,697 --> 01:17:09,199
- Thirty-seven.
- My life's in the shitter right now,
1325
01:17:09,282 --> 01:17:11,700
and if you don't mind,
I'd like to stew a bit.
1326
01:17:11,784 --> 01:17:13,660
- [ Man ] You open?
- Yeah.
1327
01:17:15,745 --> 01:17:17,663
[ Randal ]
Aw, that's all bullshit, man.
1328
01:17:17,745 --> 01:17:20,414
- You know what
the real problem here is?
- L was born?
1329
01:17:20,498 --> 01:17:23,583
- You should shit or get off the pot.
- L should shit or get off the pot.
1330
01:17:23,667 --> 01:17:26,087
- Yeah, shit or get off the pot.
- What are you talking about?
1331
01:17:26,128 --> 01:17:29,714
I'm talking about this thing you have,
this inability to improve
your station in life.
1332
01:17:29,756 --> 01:17:31,841
- Fuck you!
- It's true, man.
1333
01:17:31,883 --> 01:17:34,217
You sit there and blame life
for dealin' you a cruddy hand,
1334
01:17:34,300 --> 01:17:37,095
never once accepting responsibility
for the way your situation is.
1335
01:17:37,136 --> 01:17:40,555
- What responsibility?
- All right, if you hate this job
and the people...
1336
01:17:40,597 --> 01:17:43,973
and the fact that you have to come in
on your day off, why don't you quit?
1337
01:17:44,015 --> 01:17:46,601
- Like it's that easy.
- It is. You just up and quit.
1338
01:17:46,685 --> 01:17:49,060
There's other jobs.
They pay better money.
1339
01:17:49,143 --> 01:17:52,315
You're bound to be qualified
for at least one of 'em.
So what's stoppin' you?
1340
01:17:52,357 --> 01:17:54,566
- Leave me alone.
- Oh, you're comfortable, right?
1341
01:17:54,650 --> 01:17:57,652
This is a life of convenience for you,
and any attempt to change it...
1342
01:17:57,777 --> 01:18:00,320
would shatter the pathetic microcosm
you've fashioned for yourself.
1343
01:18:00,362 --> 01:18:02,363
Oh! Like your life's any better.
1344
01:18:02,405 --> 01:18:05,532
I'm satisfied with my situation for now.
You don't hear me complaining.
1345
01:18:05,615 --> 01:18:07,742
You, on the other hand,
have been bitching all day.
1346
01:18:07,826 --> 01:18:10,035
Thank you. Why don't you
go back to the video store?
1347
01:18:10,119 --> 01:18:12,204
- it's the same thing with Veronica.
- Leave her out of this!
1348
01:18:12,329 --> 01:18:15,330
You date Veronica because it's
convenient and she's low maintenance.
1349
01:18:15,414 --> 01:18:17,833
But meanwhile,
all you ever do is talk about Caitlin.
1350
01:18:17,916 --> 01:18:20,085
You carry a torch for a girl
you dated in high school.
1351
01:18:20,127 --> 01:18:23,547
- in high school, for God's sakes.
You're 22.
- Leave me alone!
1352
01:18:23,588 --> 01:18:27,008
If you want Caitlin, then talk
to Veronica and be with Caitlin.
1353
01:18:27,091 --> 01:18:29,092
If you want Veronica,
then be with Veronica.
1354
01:18:29,175 --> 01:18:31,468
But don't pine for one
and fuck the other.
1355
01:18:31,510 --> 01:18:33,511
Man, if you weren't
such a fucking coward...
1356
01:18:33,636 --> 01:18:35,471
If l wasn't such a fucking coward.
1357
01:18:35,513 --> 01:18:38,724
It must be great to have this ability
to simplify things the way you do.
1358
01:18:38,807 --> 01:18:40,766
- Am l right or what?
- You're wrong!
1359
01:18:40,808 --> 01:18:44,269
Things happened today. Things that
probably ruined my chances with Caitlin.
1360
01:18:44,352 --> 01:18:47,399
Oh, what, the dead guy?
She'll get over fuckin' a dead guy.
1361
01:18:47,482 --> 01:18:51,400
Shit, my mom's been fuckin' a dead guy
for 30 years. l call him ""Dad.""
1362
01:18:51,483 --> 01:18:54,069
Caitlin and l can't be together.
It's impossible.
1363
01:18:54,153 --> 01:18:57,322
Melodrama comin' from you seems about
as natural as an oral bowel movement.
1364
01:18:57,405 --> 01:19:00,782
What do you want me to say?
""Yes, some of the things
you're saying are true""?
1365
01:19:00,866 --> 01:19:03,034
That's the way things are.
They're not gonna change.
1366
01:19:03,075 --> 01:19:05,619
- Make 'em change.
- L can't, all right?
1367
01:19:05,745 --> 01:19:07,703
Jesus, will you leave me alone?
1368
01:19:07,786 --> 01:19:10,748
I can't make changes in my life
Like that. lf l could, l would.
1369
01:19:10,831 --> 01:19:13,373
But l don't have the ability
to risk the comfortable situations...
1370
01:19:13,415 --> 01:19:15,544
on the big money
and the fabulous prizes!
1371
01:19:15,627 --> 01:19:19,047
- Who are you kidding? You can so.
- Jesus H. Christ! l can't!
1372
01:19:19,130 --> 01:19:24,009
So you're gonna be miserable 'cause
you don't have the guts to face change?
1373
01:19:24,051 --> 01:19:27,093
My mother told me once
that when l was three years old,
1374
01:19:27,135 --> 01:19:29,179
my potty lid was closed,
1375
01:19:29,262 --> 01:19:32,139
and instead of me lifting it,
I shit my pants.
1376
01:19:32,222 --> 01:19:34,098
Lovely story.
1377
01:19:34,182 --> 01:19:36,434
The point is,
I'm not the type of person...
1378
01:19:36,517 --> 01:19:39,560
who'll disrupt things
just so l can shit comfortably.
1379
01:19:53,238 --> 01:19:56,658
- [ Door Opening ]
- Noise, noise, noise
Smokin' weed, smokin' weed
1380
01:19:56,741 --> 01:20:00,661
Doin' coke, drinkin' beers
Pack o' ""rass,"" my good man.
1381
01:20:00,702 --> 01:20:03,537
Time to kick back, drink some beers
and smoke some weed!
1382
01:20:03,579 --> 01:20:05,622
Done poisoning the youth
for today, huh?
1383
01:20:05,705 --> 01:20:07,666
Hell, yes, whatever that means.
1384
01:20:07,707 --> 01:20:10,251
Now it's time to head over to Atlantic,
drink some beers,
1385
01:20:10,293 --> 01:20:12,211
get ripped and, hopefully, get laid.
1386
01:20:12,212 --> 01:20:14,672
- [ Dante ] One seventy-nine.
- Pay the good man.
1387
01:20:15,922 --> 01:20:18,508
- Yeah, you close soon?
- In half an hour.
1388
01:20:18,591 --> 01:20:20,467
Yeah, we get off
the same time every day.
1389
01:20:20,592 --> 01:20:23,052
- We should hang out. You get high?
- L should start.
1390
01:20:23,094 --> 01:20:25,680
Wanna come to this party tonight?
There's gonna be some pussy there.
1391
01:20:25,805 --> 01:20:27,681
With you? l don't think so.
1392
01:20:27,722 --> 01:20:30,016
Oh, look at you.
""l don't hang out with drug dealers.""
1393
01:20:30,058 --> 01:20:33,309
- Nothing personal.
- What happened with that old guy?
1394
01:20:33,393 --> 01:20:36,313
- He died in the bathroom.
- L heard he was jerkin' off
or something.
1395
01:20:36,397 --> 01:20:38,523
I don't know.
I wasn't watching.
1396
01:20:38,565 --> 01:20:42,025
He probably saw that Caitlin chick.
I know l felt like beatin' it
when l saw her.
1397
01:20:42,109 --> 01:20:44,194
Oh, come here, bitch.
You like this? Huh?
1398
01:20:44,278 --> 01:20:47,571
- This what you want?
- Knock it off. That used to be
my girlfriend, all right?
1399
01:20:47,655 --> 01:20:49,531
Oh, you used to go out with her?
1400
01:20:49,614 --> 01:20:51,865
Yeah, well, l thought
we might be starting again.
1401
01:20:51,908 --> 01:20:55,451
- Don't you already have a girlfriend?
- [ Dante ] Yeah, Veronica.
1402
01:20:55,493 --> 01:20:58,870
- And what, you're gonna dump her
for that Caitlin chick?
- Maybe.
1403
01:20:58,912 --> 01:21:01,913
I don't know, dude. That Caitlin chick's
nice, but l see that Veronica girl...
1404
01:21:01,914 --> 01:21:03,917
doin' shit for you all the time.
1405
01:21:04,001 --> 01:21:06,961
I saw her rubbin' your back,
fuckin' comes and brings your food.
1406
01:21:07,003 --> 01:21:09,839
- Didn't l see her change your tire once?
- Hey, l jacked up the car.
1407
01:21:09,880 --> 01:21:12,381
All she did was unloosen the nuts
and put the tire on.
1408
01:21:12,464 --> 01:21:16,009
- Well, l know she does a lot for you.
- She's my girlfriend.
1409
01:21:16,050 --> 01:21:20,304
I had some girlfriends too, but all
they wanted from me was weed and shit.
1410
01:21:20,345 --> 01:21:22,345
Shit, my grandmother used to say,
"" What's better?
1411
01:21:22,388 --> 01:21:25,348
Fuckin' a good plate
with nothin' on it? ""
1412
01:21:25,390 --> 01:21:27,934
No, wait. l fucked up. ""What's
a good plate with nothin' on it?""
1413
01:21:28,018 --> 01:21:29,979
Meaning?
1414
01:21:30,021 --> 01:21:33,940
I don't know. She was senile. She used
to fuckin' piss herself all the time...
1415
01:21:34,065 --> 01:21:35,983
and shit herself.
1416
01:21:36,025 --> 01:21:39,152
Come on, Silent Bob. Let's get
the fuck outta this fuckin' gyp joint...
1417
01:21:39,235 --> 01:21:41,446
with this fuckin' faggot Dante.
1418
01:21:41,571 --> 01:21:43,821
You cock smoker.
1419
01:21:43,904 --> 01:21:46,907
You know, there's a million
fine-lookin' women in the world, dude,
1420
01:21:47,033 --> 01:21:48,991
but they don't all bring ya
Lasagna at work.
1421
01:21:49,033 --> 01:21:50,993
Most of 'em just cheat on ya.
1422
01:21:51,118 --> 01:21:53,536
[ Jay ] Come on, limp dick!
1423
01:21:53,578 --> 01:21:56,080
[ Silent Bob ]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1424
01:21:57,541 --> 01:21:59,501
He's right.
1425
01:21:59,585 --> 01:22:02,210
I love her.
1426
01:22:02,252 --> 01:22:05,922
So that's it. He doesn't love you
anymore. He loves Caitlin.
1427
01:22:06,005 --> 01:22:08,090
And he told you all of this?
1428
01:22:08,132 --> 01:22:12,469
Pretty much. All except
the latent homosexuality part.
That's just my theory.
1429
01:22:12,510 --> 01:22:14,844
Uh... l don't know what to say.
1430
01:22:14,928 --> 01:22:18,805
Don't hold it against him. He just
never got Caitlin out of his system.
1431
01:22:18,889 --> 01:22:21,933
It's not your fault. it's Dante.
1432
01:22:22,016 --> 01:22:24,895
I-Look. l don't know
thing one about chicks.
1433
01:22:25,062 --> 01:22:28,022
So if you gotta cry or something,
I can get outta here.
1434
01:22:28,064 --> 01:22:30,441
- I'm not sad.
- You're not?
1435
01:22:30,483 --> 01:22:32,525
Ow! What'd you do that for?
1436
01:22:32,567 --> 01:22:35,526
If you didn't wanna go out with me
anymore, why didn't you say so?
1437
01:22:35,527 --> 01:22:38,029
Instead you pussyfoot around
and see that slut behind my back!
1438
01:22:38,112 --> 01:22:41,073
- What are you talking about?
- You've been talking to her
on the phone for weeks!
1439
01:22:41,114 --> 01:22:43,575
- it was only a few times.
- Then you pull that shit this morning,
1440
01:22:43,617 --> 01:22:45,697
freaking out because
I've gone down a couple of guys.
1441
01:22:45,701 --> 01:22:48,703
- Oh, a couple?
- I'm not the one trying
to patch things up with my ex,
1442
01:22:48,787 --> 01:22:50,663
sneaking around behind your back!
1443
01:22:50,788 --> 01:22:53,708
If you think 37 dicks are a lot,
just wait and see, mister.
1444
01:22:53,750 --> 01:22:56,627
I'm going to put the hookers
in Times Square to shame
with all the guys l go down on now!
1445
01:22:56,711 --> 01:22:58,670
- Will you let me explain?
- Explain what?
1446
01:22:58,753 --> 01:23:01,673
How you've been waiting
until the time was right, and then
you were going to dump me for her?
1447
01:23:01,798 --> 01:23:03,799
- it isn't like that!
- Damn right it isn't like that!
1448
01:23:03,924 --> 01:23:07,510
Because l won't let it be like that.
You want your slut?
Fine, the slut is yours.
1449
01:23:07,635 --> 01:23:10,178
- l don't want Caitlin.
- You don't know what you want!
1450
01:23:10,262 --> 01:23:13,423
But I'm not going to sit here
holding your hand anymore
until you figure it out!
1451
01:23:13,429 --> 01:23:15,473
I've tried with you, Dante.
1452
01:23:15,556 --> 01:23:18,600
I've encouraged you to get out of this
fucking dump and go back to school,
1453
01:23:18,686 --> 01:23:20,853
to take charge of your life
and find direction.
1454
01:23:20,895 --> 01:23:23,021
I even transferred
so maybe you'd be more inclined...
1455
01:23:23,063 --> 01:23:25,107
to go back to college
if l was with you.
1456
01:23:25,190 --> 01:23:27,441
Everyone said it was a stupid move,
but l didn't care...
1457
01:23:27,525 --> 01:23:29,402
because l loved you
and wanted to see you...
1458
01:23:29,527 --> 01:23:31,944
pull yourself out of this senseless funk
that you've been in...
1459
01:23:31,986 --> 01:23:33,821
since that whore dumped you
oh, so many years ago.
1460
01:23:33,946 --> 01:23:36,656
Now you wanna go back to her
so she can fuck you over some more!
1461
01:23:36,698 --> 01:23:39,283
- l don't wanna go back...
- Of course not! Not now!
1462
01:23:39,449 --> 01:23:42,286
You're caught,
and now you're trying to snake out
of doing what you wanted to do!
1463
01:23:42,327 --> 01:23:44,161
Well, l won't let you.
1464
01:23:44,203 --> 01:23:47,291
I want you to follow through on this
so you can find out
what a fucking idiot you are!
1465
01:23:47,332 --> 01:23:50,251
And when she dumps you again...
and l promise you, she will...
1466
01:23:50,293 --> 01:23:52,711
I want to laugh in your face
so you realize that...
1467
01:23:52,794 --> 01:23:54,629
that was what you gave up
our relationship for!
1468
01:23:54,671 --> 01:23:57,380
I'm just glad that Randal had the balls
to tell me since you couldn't!
1469
01:23:57,422 --> 01:24:00,383
- Randal?
- And having him tell me,
that was just the weakest move ever.
1470
01:24:00,425 --> 01:24:02,551
- You're spineless!
- Veronica, l love you!
1471
01:24:02,593 --> 01:24:04,386
Fuck you!
1472
01:24:04,511 --> 01:24:07,345
[ Gong Ringing ]
1473
01:24:19,898 --> 01:24:21,941
Dante?
1474
01:24:24,026 --> 01:24:27,612
Our problems seem
a world away
1475
01:24:28,820 --> 01:24:30,906
Close your eyes
1476
01:24:30,989 --> 01:24:33,865
And they'll all go away
1477
01:24:33,866 --> 01:24:38,493
Close the night and listen
1478
01:24:38,619 --> 01:24:42,707
Close your eyes to me
1479
01:24:42,790 --> 01:24:45,208
And sell the lie
1480
01:24:45,250 --> 01:24:47,960
My face
1481
01:24:48,002 --> 01:24:50,629
Shall live
1482
01:24:50,670 --> 01:24:53,464
You'll all be
replaced
1483
01:24:53,465 --> 01:24:55,882
How's your eye?
1484
01:24:55,965 --> 01:24:59,177
The swelling's not that bad,
but the F.D.S. stings.
1485
01:25:00,636 --> 01:25:03,721
- How's your neck?
- It's kinda hard to swallow.
1486
01:25:05,347 --> 01:25:07,307
You didn't have to choke me, you know.
1487
01:25:07,390 --> 01:25:10,728
Why did you tell Veronica that l was
gonna dump her to go back with Caitlin?
1488
01:25:10,770 --> 01:25:13,897
- l thought l was doing you a favor.
- Oh, Jesus.
1489
01:25:13,939 --> 01:25:16,024
You're always saying
how you can't initiate change yourself.
1490
01:25:16,106 --> 01:25:17,899
I thought I'd give you a hand.
1491
01:25:17,982 --> 01:25:20,109
Thanks.
1492
01:25:20,276 --> 01:25:22,069
You still didn't have to choke me.
1493
01:25:22,110 --> 01:25:25,113
Oh, please.
I'm surprised l didn't kill you.
1494
01:25:25,155 --> 01:25:27,280
- Why do you say that?
- Why do l say that?
1495
01:25:27,322 --> 01:25:29,324
Randal... [ Sighs ]
Forget it.
1496
01:25:29,366 --> 01:25:32,451
- No, really.
What did l do that was so wrong?
- What don't you do?
1497
01:25:32,534 --> 01:25:35,746
Sometimes l think
the only reason you come to work
is to make my life miserable.
1498
01:25:35,747 --> 01:25:38,148
- How do you figure?
- What time did you get to work today?
1499
01:25:38,165 --> 01:25:40,583
Like 10:00, or ten after.
1500
01:25:40,667 --> 01:25:43,752
You were over a half an hour late.
And then all you do is come in here.
1501
01:25:43,794 --> 01:25:47,547
- Yeah, to talk to you.
- Which means the video store
is ostensibly closed!
1502
01:25:47,672 --> 01:25:49,672
Oh, it's not like I'm miles away.
1503
01:25:49,673 --> 01:25:51,794
Unless you're out renting video
at other video stores.
1504
01:25:51,800 --> 01:25:55,970
- Hermaphrodites. l rented it
so we could watch it together.
- You get me slapped with a fine.
1505
01:25:56,053 --> 01:25:59,012
You argue with the customers,
and l have to patch everything up.
1506
01:25:59,054 --> 01:26:01,390
You get us thrown out of a funeral
by violating the corpse.
1507
01:26:01,431 --> 01:26:05,270
Then to top it all off,
you ruin my relationship.
I mean, what's your encore?
1508
01:26:05,395 --> 01:26:09,106
Do you, like, anally rape my mother
while pouring sugar in my gas tank?
1509
01:26:11,606 --> 01:26:14,900
You know what the real tragedy
about all of this is?
1510
01:26:14,942 --> 01:26:17,026
I'm not even supposed
to be here today!
1511
01:26:17,110 --> 01:26:20,487
Oh, fuck you!
Fuck you, pal!
1512
01:26:20,571 --> 01:26:22,739
Jesus, there you go,
trying to pass the buck.
1513
01:26:22,781 --> 01:26:24,699
I'm the source of all your misery.
1514
01:26:24,782 --> 01:26:28,451
Who closed the store to play hockey?
Who closed the store to go to a wake?
1515
01:26:28,493 --> 01:26:30,581
Who tried to win back
his ex-girlfriend...
1516
01:26:30,664 --> 01:26:33,623
without even discussing
how he felt with his present one?
1517
01:26:33,707 --> 01:26:36,334
You wanna blame somebody?
Blame yourself.
1518
01:26:36,418 --> 01:26:38,294
""I'm not even supposed
to be here today.""
1519
01:26:38,335 --> 01:26:40,170
You sound like an asshole!
1520
01:26:40,254 --> 01:26:42,254
Jesus, nobody twisted
your arm to be here.
1521
01:26:42,337 --> 01:26:44,464
You're here of your own volition.
1522
01:26:44,506 --> 01:26:47,466
You like to think the weight
of the world rests on your shoulder,
1523
01:26:47,508 --> 01:26:50,385
Like this place would fall apart
if Dante wasn't here.
1524
01:26:50,510 --> 01:26:53,304
Jesus, you overcompensate for having
what's basically a monkey's job.
1525
01:26:53,387 --> 01:26:58,351
You push fuckin' buttons. Anybody
could waltz in here and do our jobs.
1526
01:26:58,393 --> 01:27:01,685
You're so obsessed
with making it seem so much more epic,
1527
01:27:01,686 --> 01:27:04,105
so much more important
than it really is.
1528
01:27:04,188 --> 01:27:08,774
Christ, you work in a convenience store,
Dante, and badly, l might add!
1529
01:27:08,900 --> 01:27:11,818
I work in a shitty video store,
badly as well.
1530
01:27:11,943 --> 01:27:15,821
You know, that guy Jay's got it right.
He has no delusions about what he does.
1531
01:27:15,863 --> 01:27:18,698
Us, we like to make ourselves
seem so much more important...
1532
01:27:18,822 --> 01:27:22,159
than the people that come in here to
buy a paper or, God forbid, cigarettes.
1533
01:27:22,242 --> 01:27:24,495
We look down on them
as if we're so advanced.
1534
01:27:24,621 --> 01:27:26,496
Well, if we're so fuckin' advanced,
1535
01:27:26,622 --> 01:27:28,999
what are we doin' workin' here?
1536
01:27:47,261 --> 01:27:50,723
Hey, the floor looks pretty clean.
I put the cat next door.
1537
01:27:50,807 --> 01:27:54,266
- Need a ride home?
- No, l got one. Just pulled up.
1538
01:27:54,267 --> 01:27:56,228
You workin' tomorrow?
1539
01:27:56,311 --> 01:27:58,229
Same time. What about you?
1540
01:27:58,270 --> 01:28:01,731
I'm callin' out.
Goin' to the hospital and visit Caitlin.
1541
01:28:01,814 --> 01:28:04,234
And then I'm gonna try
to talk to Veronica.
1542
01:28:04,317 --> 01:28:06,276
You wanna grab a bite
to eat or something...
1543
01:28:06,318 --> 01:28:08,485
when you're done with that
and l get off work?
1544
01:28:08,527 --> 01:28:11,488
- I'll give you a call, let you know.
- All right.
1545
01:28:11,530 --> 01:28:13,490
Hey, good luck with Veronica.
1546
01:28:13,532 --> 01:28:16,533
- lf you want, l can talk to her,
try and straighten this...
- No, thanks.
1547
01:28:16,574 --> 01:28:18,411
I think l can handle it.
1548
01:28:18,453 --> 01:28:21,204
We have a lot of shit to talk about.
1549
01:28:21,287 --> 01:28:24,290
- Hell of a day.
- To say the least.
1550
01:28:24,374 --> 01:28:27,334
Want me to do anything
before l get out of here, man?
1551
01:28:27,376 --> 01:28:29,335
Why don't you wrangle for me?
1552
01:28:29,418 --> 01:28:31,712
- [ Scoffs ] No.
- Come on. Just wrangle out the door.
1553
01:28:31,754 --> 01:28:34,380
- No. No, no, no.
- Come on.
1554
01:28:34,505 --> 01:28:36,464
Here comes Randal
1555
01:28:36,465 --> 01:28:38,883
He's a Berserker
1556
01:28:38,925 --> 01:28:43,928
[ Humming ]
[ Laughing ]
1557
01:28:46,391 --> 01:28:48,225
You're closed.
1558
01:28:55,980 --> 01:29:00,942
I may never get what l want
1559
01:29:00,984 --> 01:29:05,319
But I'm happy just
to die tryin'
1560
01:29:05,403 --> 01:29:10,407
And l hope l ain't
done nobody wrong
1561
01:29:10,532 --> 01:29:15,370
But l miss you smilin'
1562
01:29:15,454 --> 01:29:21,167
And I'm lookin' for a cure
'cause I'm bored to tears
1563
01:29:21,250 --> 01:29:23,126
And I'm stuck in here
1564
01:29:23,209 --> 01:29:27,627
Stuck out here,
stuck in here
1565
01:29:27,628 --> 01:29:30,715
We lived through
another day
1566
01:29:30,839 --> 01:29:34,092
it's a good excuse
to celebrate
1567
01:29:34,134 --> 01:29:36,759
Take a number,
knock on wood
1568
01:29:36,885 --> 01:29:40,222
We'll find a reason
to feel good
1569
01:29:40,306 --> 01:29:42,516
I know you know
l want to know
1570
01:29:42,600 --> 01:29:44,893
How l feel
1571
01:29:44,934 --> 01:29:47,936
I can't even tell
1572
01:29:48,020 --> 01:29:51,105
I can't even tell
1573
01:29:51,189 --> 01:29:53,690
I can't even tell
1574
01:29:55,901 --> 01:30:00,236
No one knows
nothin' about me
1575
01:30:00,278 --> 01:30:03,197
I'm guessin'
I'll just keep on guessin'
1576
01:30:05,073 --> 01:30:09,870
No one sees what l see
1577
01:30:09,912 --> 01:30:13,706
This is my blessin'
1578
01:30:13,789 --> 01:30:19,460
And I'm lookin' for a way
to get outta here
1579
01:30:19,543 --> 01:30:21,503
Get me outta here
1580
01:30:21,586 --> 01:30:26,088
Outta here, outta here
1581
01:30:26,172 --> 01:30:29,050
We lived through
another day
1582
01:30:29,091 --> 01:30:32,552
it's a good excuse
to celebrate
1583
01:30:32,636 --> 01:30:35,263
Take a number,
knock on wood
1584
01:30:35,305 --> 01:30:38,641
Find a reason to feel good
1585
01:30:38,766 --> 01:30:40,935
I know you know
Just want to know
1586
01:30:41,018 --> 01:30:43,228
How l feel
1587
01:30:43,311 --> 01:30:46,188
I can't even tell
1588
01:30:46,313 --> 01:30:49,233
I can't even tell
1589
01:30:49,358 --> 01:30:51,858
I can't even tell
1590
01:31:17,003 --> 01:31:19,087
I'm outta here
1591
01:31:19,170 --> 01:31:23,924
Outta here
Outta here
1592
01:31:24,007 --> 01:31:26,300
I know you know
l want to know
1593
01:31:26,384 --> 01:31:28,637
How l feel
1594
01:31:28,720 --> 01:31:31,473
I can't tell
1595
01:31:31,557 --> 01:31:33,975
I know you know
I'll tell ya
1596
01:31:34,016 --> 01:31:36,143
If it's real
1597
01:31:36,226 --> 01:31:39,103
it's not our last affair
1598
01:31:39,145 --> 01:31:41,729
- I can't even tell
- [ Jay ] Smokin' weed, smokin' weed
1599
01:31:41,813 --> 01:31:45,315
Noise, noise, noise
Smokin' weed, smokin' weed
139108