Original subtitles

Well, what do you think?

I think I should go bigger.

Well, if that's what you want, sweetheart.

Besides, Roddy told me that if I want to get in porn, my tits have to be fucking

amazing.

Who's Roddy? He's my agent.

He told me he would do my first scene with me for free.

Isn't that sweet?

We met at a nightclub in London.

It was love at first sight.

Well, for you, I was on stage dancing.

He pursued me, just didn't give it up.

It was actually quite scary.

If I see something I want, I go for it.

What, like cookies?

We've been married three months now.

I still dance in the clubs.

Jan has told me I don't need to.

He makes enough for both of us. But I like to work.

She does, bless her.

She's very adamant that she makes her own way.

That's what makes us such a solid couple.

Which is exactly why I'm moving into the porn industry.

I really think.

I can make an impact there.

Can you believe it all happened so quickly?

I know. I thought adoption took ages.

And he's so cute.

I can't wait for your family to meet him.

Yeah.

We finally have a family.

Yes, though.

Who's my special boy?

Who's my special boy?

I am.

Lizelle and I have been married for three years now and we just thought it

was time.

We both wanted a child and we knew there could be quite a lengthy waiting period.

If you're fussy.

Jasmine did the paperwork and she made sure that she put down we weren't fussy

about anything.

Doesn't matter about nationality, gender, race, hair colour or age.

Mm-mm-mm. This was delicious.

Well, thank you. I've been working really hard on it.

You're amazing.

No, you're amazing.

I am.

So, yeah, I've been married for two years now.

Took a lot of lawyers.

It was a long and expensive road to get here, but I'm happy.

I just kind of realised I'm never going to find the right person to settle down

with.

So, I decided to marry myself.

Groundbreaking, I know, but the proposal was kind of weird.

When we're together, I just feel we're one, you know, and I don't need anyone

else but you.

No, don't.

Will you be with me?

We're one.

Yeah, it's been...

Really peaceful.

Really relaxing.

Plus I don't annoy myself.

I get on with myself.

Plus I'm great in bed.

You know what I mean?

Hi, sweetheart.

So where is he?

Oh, I'm so excited.

It's been ages since I had a little baby in my arms.

Where is he?

He's right here.

Oh. Here I go.

Here comes the airplane.

Open wide. Open wide. I can manage.

Guys, I'd like you to meet Ryan.

Really looking forward to being a grandfather.

But I didn't think they'd adopt a 30-year-old man.

You know, I actually thought he was quite cute. He was really attractive.

Wow, Jasmine.

I think you've picked a winner here.

I think I did.

Hi, Diane.

Bloody hell.

Language!

And you've gone and got yourself all sticky.

Come on, let's get you cleaned up. Come on. Come on, Ryan. That's it. Good boy.

Good boy. Let's get you all cleaned up, shall we?

Yeah.

Come on. That's it.

Get up the stairs. Big boy stairs.

That's it.

Oh, well done.

You're good.

Well done.

Bonjour.

Hello, everyone. Where is he, then? You just saw him.

What, the bloke with Jasmine?

Yes, that is our new son. You've adopted a grown-up? Well, it's not as weird as

marrying yourself. I'm very happily married to myself. All right, all right,

you two, stop!

You're both as fucked up as each other!

Yeah, my brother decided to marry himself.

Freak.

Well, you know, it's modern day and age and all kinds of things. People think

we're weird.

No, people think they feel normal.

Which makes me laugh when he walks in holding his own hands.

It's strange, isn't it?

So, I think Willie adopted you.

Yeah.

I know it's weird, right, but I just figured, free house, free food, it's not

all bad.

Maybe the chance to meet some new friends.

Yeah, definitely.

So... Now I've got to take care of you.

Yeah, yeah, that's what my adopted mum said.

This point is too rough.

I'm just doing it with my hands, right?

Your hand? Yeah, I think so.

Like that?

Yeah, just like that. It's so soft and the point is so rough.

Yeah, it is soft.

I have a better idea. Why don't you just stand up a little bit? Stand up? Yeah.

Know something which is even more soft.

I tell you that because the best way to clean your penis.

Oh, right.

Must be traditional in where you come from or something.

Traditional Hungarian cleaning, huh?

Oh, Hungarian.

I see. Okay.

Is it hungry, actually?

You're really a multi little boy, huh?

Oh.

I love you.

I might join you.

I feel myself dirty.

I need to be quiet now.

I'm losing the house.

Is that how it's done?

Oh, that is really hot. Yeah.

Love is everywhere.

Everywhere.

Is that a good boy?

Yeah, I mean, it was a bit weird meeting him for the first time. That's not what

I expected. When they said they were adopting, I thought, baby, not man-baby.

I mean, he's like 30 or something, isn't he? But, you know, I'm not one to judge.

I mean, if they're happy, and he's happy, and it's legal, and no

animals are involved, then cool.

I applaud that.

I'm not one to judge.

with Ryan?

I'm sure he's alright.

He's in safe hands.

She knows what she's doing, right Dad?

I'd better go check on him.

Danny and I have been having an affair for two months now.

It hasn't been easy.

Sometimes I feel like I'm betraying my other half.

You married yourself?

Yeah, and I made a commitment.

Technically, I'm betraying myself.

I don't hear you complaining. You surprise-sexed me.

Can I get anyone a drink?

Cool. I'm fine, thanks. I'd love a coffee.

Coffee? Oh.

Oh.

Coffee. Coffee for one.

I'm going to give you one coffee. Oh, what about a nice, cold, creamy glass of

milk? Yeah, sweetener. Okay. Oh, what about a nibble?

Anyone want any food?

Yeah, how about some nuts?

I think I've got some salty nuts and some nice, big, fat, meaty sausages.

Oh, it's a bit dusty over here, isn't it? Oh, I think I just haven't...

I haven't dusted here for a very long time. I'll come a bit for sweat so you

can clean.

Oh, yes. Oh, oh, oh, oh, yes. I'm much better, isn't it? Oh, so much cleaner.

Oh, yes.

Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, so why coffee?

Was there coffee?

With a sweetener and two sweeteners. I could take it.

Yeah, OK.

Yeah, I suppose we're not an average family.

My son...

Married himself and my daughter's in a lesbian relationship.

And they've adopted a 30-year-old man.

But as for myself, I think I've scored big time.

Don't forget to mention that you'll just love when I put a strap on and fuck you

up in the ass.

No, no, no, don't say that. What? You love it, huh? No, no, no, no.

I love it, but don't say it in front of them.

He really does.

Oh, yeah,

there you go.

Oh, yes, that's it.

Well

I'm going to stretch it.

Big dick.

Oh, yeah. Oh,

yeah. You can't get fucked, huh? Yeah.

Be quiet.

I can't explain. I can't explain. You have a kiss again.

Sure.

Hi.

Well, if you're going to stay around, we might as well make this a party.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

I'm definitely staying.

That's it, when you girls come here.

All right.

Come on.

Come on.

Oh shit.

Like that back.

Yeah.

All the way down.

Thank you.

I love this dick.

Me.

I want dick.

Do you want some dick? I want it.

You wanna lick that pussy, huh?

Oh, fuck, yeah.

Oh, fuck.

Fucking dick.

Oh,

fuck,

yes. It's stuck in my clit as well. Fuck it.

Oh, fuck.

Oh,

yeah. Come on, take that pussy.

Take it.

Oh, yeah, like that.

Yeah, I love it. I love that dick. Yeah.

Spread my cunt open, Fred.

Spread it like that. Like that. Like that.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Mark.

Oh, yeah. You need to taste it. Yeah.

Suck on my cream off that dick.

Yeah.

Stick it back in. Yeah.

Get in there. Right in there. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, that was really hard.

Oh, yeah.

That person's gaping open now.

Gaping like a cunt.

God bless you.

you know,

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh,

yeah.

You love that. Your dad could never do this.

Yes.

Oh, yeah, I love it.

Oh, yeah!

Oh, fuck!

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh,

yeah. I put a cup in my ass and pussy in my face.

Yes. Oh, I love

that.

Oh, yes.

Yeah,

yeah. I like that.

Should I go nice and wet? Yeah.

Yeah.

That's the taste of it. No, I want a new one.

She's Sharon.

I taste your ass off the deck.

Your ass tastes nice.

I piss you all over your face, mom.

All right, give me this fucking cork.

Feed it into my pussy.

Oh, yeah.

It's going to be really fucking hard. Yes.

Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, you want it, huh? You want it, huh? Oh, yes!

Yeah. Oh!

Oh!

I'm saying you don't want to be pregnant, huh?

Yeah.

You're dead.

I'm as good as you.

That's good.

Oh, yes.

Oh, I said that all over her face. You want to get fucked again, huh? Yeah, I

do. Yeah.

No, I'm just kidding.

Fuck my ass.

Fuck my ass.

Fuck my ass.

Fuck my ass.

Fuck my ass. Fuck my ass. Fuck my ass. Fuck my ass.

Fuck my ass.

Fuck my ass.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

I'm not saying it's wrong.

There you go.

Bonjour!

Oh, yes, yes.

I'm dead!

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Are you ready?

Look at me.

Open your mouth.

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Oh,

shit.

You don't think anyone heard it, do you?

I feel very happy.

Very, very happy.

I've got everything that I could ever want.

Plus that porn scene I did with Roddy went online and it did really well.

Thinking of doing Eina for the next one.

I gave it a try and it was really good.

Ryan may not be what I envisaged our son being, but he's actually helped us to

grow together as a family.

I think I was small-minded at first.

He's a really lovable guy and we're going to give him all the love that he

needs.

We may not be the average family, but we do have the one thing that every family

should have.

Love.

Isn't that right, Jasmine?

Hmm? Oh, yeah.

Absolutely.