Original subtitles

Make way for your King Richard, swine.

Thanks, Gareth.

Bye, everyone.

I'd like to swing now.

Look, Gareth. No hands.

Very impressive, my king.

Isn't your king impressive?

Ta-da!

Your king made a sandcastle. Praise him.

You're my hero, my king.

Would you like me to write you a theme song, my king?

Shut up, Menkin. Applause!

i'm king and because they're scared not because of anything i do your king had a

realization cheer his realization i'm no hero i'm a phony

I'm not telling you. You're a child.

What? Who are you?

I'm you in the future. Who?

Oh, God.

Will I be a good king? Not really.

Loved by all that I rule?

No, sorry.

Do I stand up and fight for truth and right and good?

Let's see now.

No, no, no. Will I go on some grand adventures?

Well... With my...

not exactly.

When will that day come?

Never gonna come, is it?

Is it hopeless?

Am I useless?

Are we doomed to

Am I destined to be achievement free forever?

I don't need all my dreams to happen, or a bunch, or

even some.

Will my day?

I'm singing a duet with my inner child.

Oh, like I give a monkey's butt what you make.

A zombie army's about to break through that door. We'll be dead in minutes

anyway.

What is that noise?

Last time I heard that was in the Enchanted Fire.

Well, wonders never cease.

Another army approaches and under a rainbow.

I'm kind of digging this beat.

Yeah.

Men and women of the second season, attention!

If I pull this off, he's definitely giving me health insurance.

Hello?

Anyone in there?

That depends on who it is. Today is Sid of Sidneyland.

Sid?

Why are you talking so weird?

Open the gate.

Sid!

We broke through their lines.

We can't hold them forever.

Sid, what are you doing here? After I ran off, I went in search of an army so

I could redeem myself for accidentally killing you. Wait, what? No, it's really

hard to find one. Oh, tell me about it. No kidding.

But then I wandered into the enchanted forest for a drink. Not knowing it, was

I? You knew.

I knew.

When they heard that Galavant needed help, they took up arms.

And so did the pirates.

And the dwarves and giants from Princess Jubilee's entourage did the same thing.

They didn't even know you.

Is the Pirate King with you? I love that guy.

Yeah, we couldn't afford him. Or the leader of the giants, or Jubilee, or

really anyone else recognizable.

You've dissolved.

Well done, Steve.

Right. It's time to do this.

With the extra numbers, we should be able to turn the tide.

Gareth? You and I are going to go through the center and try and draw

Wormwood and Madelaine's attention.

Isabella, take Richard on horseback and flank them, and we'll meet you on the

hillside. And I promise, after this, I'll never leave your side again.

Someone's daughter's going to get a little whoop-whoop tonight. What the

hell is wrong with you? I honestly have no idea.

Everybody, let's move out!

Looks like they want to make a game of it.

Fine by me.

Please stop. You already sang that one. Sorry. It's just ridiculously catchy.

And I don't care about anyone else. Gareth does not get hurt.

Very well, my queen.

Random thought.

There's some very vicious-looking weapons in the armory. Now that you're

the Dark Queen, why don't you go and pick one out? Give you that iconic look.

And you promise that Gareth will be fine?

Pinky swear.

Hey guys, I found a way out!

Sorry,

that exit is closed.

Come on this way!

Hmm. What to choose?

Ooh, Queenie likey.

Remember me?

Oh, don't be so rhetorical.

And that pokey thing is mine.

I've been locked in a dungeon in a jewellery box. I've been engaged to my

11-year-old cousin. I spent the better part of two years in the same outfit. I

am getting my happy ending.

Okay, then.

Bring it.

Bill.

There's too many of them!

You must be the Mr. Wormwood I've heard so much about.

No, King Richard, I presume.

You know when you presume, you make a praise out of you and me.

Sorry, what? What does that mean? Not sure.

Catered down?

Love to.

Let's be clear, right? When you say dance, you mean fight. You don't really

want to dance. Correct. Fight, not dance. Yeah.

Sorry, did you want to dance?

No, really. But come on, kind of weird. You know, sorry, this face-off isn't

going great. Would you mind telling us if we start it over? Yeah, sure.

Well, well, well.

If it isn't the soon-to-be-dead Mr.

Woolworth. Oh, much better.

Are you done?

I just had these done.

You've no idea what that sword makes you do.

Of course I do.

Not. No, I don't. Well, it makes you the one true king to unite them all.

Eh? Yes. Pretty you're going to die.

We'll see about that.

So, any last words?

Just four.

I have a dragon!

Come on now, Dad Cooper. I super believe in you.

Rain, fire!

No!

Dad Cooper!

Oh, no.

Just open your eyes.

You okay?

You may have killed one dragon, but you've awoken another.

You killed my dragon.

Let's stop.

That's the same guy who cried when he cut jelly on his fancy pants.

Good man!

Get him!

You killed my dragon.

No, dude.

I was there. I know. Don't keep saying it. It wasn't a dragon. It was a lizard.

Oh, nuggets.

Same guy who cried when he got jelly on his fancy pants.

I just said that. I said that exact thing. Sure, because that's what's

amazing right now. He was the one on the lot.

You've got to be f***ing kidding me.

Think I'll be taking that crown back now?

Dad Cooper?

Buddy, you alive?

You had me so scared.

Believe what just happened.

So, you're the one true king to unite them all.

I guess I am.

I mean, who else could do this?

What?

What?

Oh, my... Pretty freaking cool, huh?

Yeah.

Listen, I need you to take care of Ted Cooper for me.

What? There's something I need to do.

No, no, no. Hang on. I'm not looking after the leathers.

He's a dragon!

Come on. I

don't need your help!

Maddy, stop.

Let's just put it all behind us and move on.

I can't. Yes, you can.

Because I love you.

And I promise you we can spend the rest of our lives together being terrible.

Even if we're not as totally terrible as you want.

It's too late for me.

I've tasted ultimate power and I want more.

Gareth, I love you more than you'll ever know.

But this is who I am.

I mean, I don't mean to sound like a jerk, Tad Cooper, but I really thought I

was going to be the one king to unite them all.

If memory serves, you said something about a wedding.

I mean, not that I need a wedding.

I'm all about the deconstruction of the princess myth, but, uh, well, it's been

a long year. And you said it, so what's up?

I'm finished with adventure, tired of my doors.

The songs about my exploits leave me kind of bored.

And last I've seen the sunset I've been riding toward A real

life happily ever after I'm done with all the

intrigue Sick of kicking ass As far as seeking vengeance Frankly

I can pass I'm ready now

ever after Screw the zombies and wizards and dragons

All the magic I need is you

I wanted to do a real proposal with a proper ring but

the things were here This will have to do

Will you? Princess Isabella Maria Lucia

Elisabetta! Elisabetta of Valencia.

Do me the greatest honor of becoming Mrs. Gary Galavant.

Gary?

Is that short for something?

No. Huh.

I guess I always thought your first name was Galavant.

I'm still kneeling here.

Oh, of course. I'm sorry.

And... Oh, yes. I will marry you.

A cottage by the seaside.

With a beach to go.

I can tend the garden. I can write my poem.

With seven small children. Journey done, we're home.

As epic endings go, it's rather small.

But it's a real life happening.

I'm terribly sorry.

But if you're planning a wedding, make sure you book the venue in soon, because

it's the very busy season.

Officer,

I had

no idea I was going that fast.

Thank you.

Really?

Now boarding B passengers only. B passengers to the island of Spinter.

Here's a cat and some chocolate.

Enjoy the trip.

Cat!

Cat!

You can't park here. The red zone. Keep it!

Wait! Put down that cat.

Richard, you're... You're alive?

You didn't go to war?

No, I did.

But I didn't die.

Quite the opposite, actually. I killed the bad guy and everything.

Do you know what I discovered?

I may have accomplished everything I've ever dreamed of, but without you...

It means absolutely nothing.

Please don't get on that lonely, shifted day drink, Chablis. Come, live your

life. No, stop talking and kiss me.

There's more where that came from.

We'll love you so much.

Enough already.

Show off.

Yeah, let's pick it ugly. We should go.

I do.

Yes,

I do.

Oh,

my God, just kiss the bride!

Not used to you.

Oh, must be.

There's the Admiraptor that promised all along Who better now to wrap it up and

seal it with a thong Except a monk We can't hate, we're the monks We're the

monks That's right, we're the genre-best We're trending, bringing you the happy

ending, monks And a new season bursts all over the land With new

hope Despite the half-feudal sin

The true rulers reassume their command.

The old tyrants, frankly, nobody missed them.

The winners, they took all, and all the losers, they got squats.

Hey, friends, I've decided to go and rescue Madalena from herself.

Are you up for an adventure?

Definitely. I was wondering when I was going to break this armor in.

And those who had redeemed themselves will guard a second shot.

I've got a line in the song they play. And two heroes got to hang up their

swords. To live life enjoying simple rewards.

And true evil disappeared within a cloud of miners.

I'm here to see Videl, the dark evil lord.

And he's been waiting for you.

What is this?

Does it hold the dark powers of the universe?

Oh, sorry, no. I can see why he thought that. No, he just thinks you need to

accessorize. He's also a fashion consultant.

Now come in, and he will begin your training to make you the most powerful

force in the seven realms.

Nothing.

And now we're almost done, our tale completely fun, as buffed and polished

as a royal jewel.

There's not much left to tell, and hey, that's just as well, unless we get one

more surprise renewal.

Now, we'll probably have to go and get work on some cheap-ass cable network.

But the door is not quite shut, so if we make the cut, here's what you'll see

on...

It's time to feed Tad Cooper.

You know he only eats if you feed him.

He's such a finicky little fellow.

Oh, Tad Cooper!

Dinner time!