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Original subtitles

The plot is gaining steam, so back to this old theme.

Here's what's been happening on Galavant.

When we saw Izzy last, this guy had been outcast.

He vowed revenge and fled to Madelaine. He brought to her play the dark, dark,

evil way.

Gareth's against it, but the queen's insane. Will she use it and go

overboard? Not if the man who wields this sword stands tall.

The hero that they call the one true king of all, which brings us back

together. A hero plows ahead, his army's kind of dead, and yet his energy is far

from flagging.

King Richard Wright of Dal, bringing his lizard pal, which may or may not be a

real-life dragon. Plus, he's got the sword which you'll be calling.

He's the king who'll rule them all. And so, two wars the armies go.

One evil, one so-so. One dead and led by gallop.

And will Richard kill his former best

friend, who stole queen and crown?

Buffoonie, can Gal still win back the princess again?

True, they're more than likely true, unless he can redo that really awful

smoochy haroonie.

And it is who knows where, a man is awesome here, seeking redemption for a

little while, and Roberta said goodbye, since Richard's sure to die, and now

she's on her way to spin her eyes.

And gosh, so much to dump upon your doormat In our half-arsed conformat

Still, this plot owes me my fill And though I doubt we will We're gonna try

and get...

The boy can sing.

Okay, cut it. The recap song's over. It's time for war!

Yes, war, indeed.

Shall we retire to the royal viewing area? It's up the hill it pays safe from

the fighting. And they've got cookies. Oh, yes, please.

Hold on a minute. What do you mean, viewing area?

I thought we were going to fight.

No, but Mr. Wormwood had that cool skybox made. And we are king and queen,

which means technically... Your eyes are doing that thing again.

What? Don't be crazy. No, they're not.

Let's go.

Wow.

There's a lot of them.

Yeah, as a former king who once led armies into battle, I must officially

say we are knee-deep in poopy caca.

Thanks, Dad. That's helpful. No problem.

Actually... I think I've come up with a plan that could turn this whole thing in

our favor.

Tell me what it is, Jester.

We beat them to the punch.

We kill ourselves before they kill us.

It's sure to ruin their morale.

If only I were alive to see the looks on their faces.

Good people of Hortensia, it is true the Valencians have three to our every one.

And you are right to worry, because how can so few of us dig the graves of so

many of them?

She twisted it. If you want to leave, leave now.

I will not mind.

For it will leave more glory for the rest of us!

She twisted it again.

I haven't been in a proper battle in a long time.

I'm going to ride up just at the perfect moment in front of Isabella and save the

day. Yeah.

This is going to be super fun.

You're going to be fine.

Oh, totally.

I know. I'm feeling great.

I'm just worried about Tad Cooper. The little fellow is terrified.

Just look at him.

Richard, you can do this.

Over the last month, I've watched you transform from a boob into a real man.

And today you're going to transform into a warrior.

You said boob.

Please focus.

Sorry.

All right, my friend.

If ever there was a moment for you to become the dragon that I know you are,

this is it.

Breathe fire!

Look, I'll check in with you later.

Why do we need these?

Are we not doing our own stunts? What? Of course we are.

Just to preserve the dramatic reveal.

That's a good idea.

You know what? We've obviously done this before.

Okay, are we going to start this war or not?

I say we wait. In an hour, the sun will be at the perfect angle to highlight the

colour of the spilling blood against the golden sand. It'll be spectacular for

the royal painter.

Brilliant. Then we wait.

Okay. What's going on here?

This war was my birthday present. It was supposed to be me and you down there

killing people, not sitting in some luxury box eating humongous raisins.

Actually, it's figs.

I feel something's changed.

Nothing's changed, Garrett.

Well, then let's go down there, hack up a few folk, and go on our vacation, just

like we talked about.

Yeah, um, about that.

Look. Gareth, um, put off the vacation.

Just for a bit.

I mean, we would have just conquered a new kingdom, and it would be impolite to

leave Mr. Wormwood all by himself after he was kind enough to bring us this

conflict. Has this got something to do with that doo-doo dark magic stuff?

Actually, it's doo-doo. Two darks, dark, dark, evil way.

Back off!

Of course not, Gareth.

I swear.

Hold the crow.

A second army approaches.

Yes, being led by some devilishly handsome hero type.

Let me see that.

Oh, God, it's Galavant.

With a weirdly large beard.

Right, that's it.

I'm going to go down there and cause havoc, just like we planned.

I hope you're going to join me.

Okay, you dogs!

To battle!

It's a good day to die.

To stand and fight until there's a good day to die.

So if somebody ever said for what we've done,

so our reflection perhaps may be gone.

That. Looks like they're advancing on the Valencians.

I can't tell, but they missed my song.

Maybe we ask them to wait so I can run out and sing it again?

No, we'll run out there, Jester.

But to fight.

Hortensians! This is our chance!

Yeah, let's do this.

I'm just going to go and check things are locked up.

Move out!

It's a good day to...

Another beautiful day in the country. Here's some potatoes for you, bae. These

are bugs.

This is a day, just a day, like every other.

Is everything okay?

We've lived as best we could.

Just like we have to get.

And I must say, though we may not get another.

If I'm with you, then our last will at least be good.

Well, at least we made it to 25

vacation. We were supposed to go zip lining.

Who doesn't like zip lining?

We sit here while they do our dirty work for us. Isn't it crazy what you can talk

people into doing? Well, I thank God for the class system every day.

Mm-hmm. Me too.

Oh, no.

This isn't good.

Oh, the sword of the one true king.

And he's down there.

And he's a god.

This is madness!

Isabella wasn't lying.

He's on their side.

It's time.

Actually,

I've been having second thoughts about the dark evil. Two darks, dark, dark.

Why is it so hard for people to remember? It's just I care about Gareth

and I promised I wouldn't use it.

He seemed super upset about the vacation.

Maybe I'll go down and help him fight.

Look, may I be blunt?

You want power, I offer it. You want control, it's yours for the taking.

You and the whole ensure it's magical, baby.

May I be even blunter?

Screw Gareth, he's weak.

Losers vacation, closers use magic.

Shall we finish this thing?

I should have stayed with Roberta. Why do I always have to be so damn heroic?

You've got a lifetime to be with Roberta. You've got one day to be

immortal.

Today you can be.

Isabella! I don't want to be Isabella! I want to be me!

Where the hell are you going?

That's one hell of a sword.

Isabella!

I've come for you.

Caliban?

My love.

Gareth?

Richard?

I know you're upset, okay?

I'll give you that one because it's been upsetting me.

Izzy, please, can we just be done with this?

Isabella, look, I didn't tell you to die in a brown fart.

The truth is, all I've wanted is to come back to you. You're the love of my life.

And if we survive this, I want to marry you.

And I want to live by the sea.

You had me at brown fart.

Don't worry, Izzy.

I'm a little bit messy, but...

We've got a lifetime to work on it.

I know I've got a lot to apologize to, Paul. Don't be ridiculous.

It's just good to see you again, my old friend.

What was that?

Whoa.

Whoa, whoa, we're on the same team.

I'm a gallivant. Might it be true love and all that?

Gallivant!

Jetnet army is turning on us!

I know. They're doing it here, too.

You can control the dead? Oh, yes. Not only control, but make them stronger.

Seems Galavander's brought the wrong covered dish to the potluck dinner. Ha!

They're kind of attacking everyone, our men included.

Well, you make a kick, you break a few eggs.

So, how do we do this?

Simple.

When you need a lift.

When you're feeling low.

When you think that things will go your way, oh, there's a little gift everyone

should know.

Try it and it's sure to make your day.

It's called a do-do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do.

It's the kind of voodoo that we few who do-do-do-do-do. Is it evil? Sure, it's

true. Still good things ensue when you do-do-do-do-do-do-do.

Keep your shoulders straight. Like this?

Lift your chin up high. I'll try. Think of all the happy thoughts you know.

Okay, just don't let go.

Picture those you hate.

Yep. Shrieking as they die.

Don't. Then just snap your fingers.

And a low.

Your Highness, that's your cue.

You know what to do.

and the kind of dead army against everyone.

Okay, so we're cool with the Valentians and Gareth then, yeah? What's up, clown?

Hiya.

Hey, stop.

Who is it?

It's me.

Madalena? Don't be so dramatic. I just want to talk.

Open the gate.

have here?

Galavant?

Richard?

You?

Looks like we're all together again. How lovely.

Our storylines have been far too separated.

Come on, Dave, let's go.

You lied to me.

No, but now I've come for you so you're not killed like the rest of these

losers. You promised no magic.

I know, but...

We'll rule the seven realms mercilessly.

But I don't... I don't care what you want.

Oh, my goodness.

She's grey, grey.

I won't leave my friend.

It's one thing being a horrible human being.

It's another thing to be evil.

And I would rather die than join the dark forces.

Me too.

And me.

And me.

Right, well, no one invited you lot, but whatever.

Right, well, I wasn't going to get all sappy, but thanks for the adventure.

Thanks for the power.

Thanks for the crown.

Thanks for the love.

And since we're all such good friends, I will give you exactly ten seconds.

I suggest focusing all your attention on ceiling.

That door.

Gareth.

This is your last chance.

No.

Suit yourself.

This is it.

We're going to die.

Richard, stand behind me.

I will not.

I'll stand beside you.

It's a good day to die.

We want there's one more episode.

But still we could die. We all know that's a massive load of... Right.

Still we might.

And if we did, we will never live ever...

by the sea.

You writing poems for us seven children.

Frankly, I thought maybe three. I'll never marry Roberta and rule the

kingdom. Loved and respected and cheered.

Known for my fair-minded ways and my full-grown dragon.

Also my full-flowing deed.

It's a good day to die.

Oh, please, this isn't Game of Thrones. We're not gonna die.

Let's end the song and grow some stones and fight!

Or will we leave all our viewers with pain and anger, just like we

left them last year?

Could we just stop once again on a huge cliffhanger?

Gabby, no!

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