All language subtitles for Galavant201

Soon we will come ashore, and I will
return Richard to his home kingdom and

rescue Isabella.

Oh, girl, I do not feel good.

Is there a name for when you throw up
through your nose? Oh, please, try and

keep it together. We're almost there.

And it's called nothing.

Almost there? You've been saying that
for weeks.

Listen, I'm tired.

I miss Gareth.

These pirates smell horrible.

Sing me the song, Galloway.

It's the only thing that'll make me feel
better.

If I sing you the song, will you shut
up?

Way back in days of old, there was a
legend... Oh, do it for real!

About a hero known as Galloway... Sorry
to interrupt. It's a very catchy tune

and all that. It's a real earworm.
You're too to get stuck in your head.

But there's only so many times you can
hear it. I don't know if you noticed.

But four pirates walked the plank last
week. Middle of the ocean. Just walked

right off.

So what are you saying?

What I'm saying is... We're gonna have
to kill you if you sing the freaking

song. What? It didn't win an Emmy. Now
it's time to move along.

But winter's not just coming. And it
came. And then it went.

Now it's back with this year's least
expected big event.

You mean?

season for our hero and pals.

A new season and it's gonna be scorching
hot on you.

Free the new exotic locale.

With new guests you'll cost the network
a fortune.

I'll go reclaim the castle I'm the
rightful ruler of.

I'll suffer through the hassle then go
save my one true love.

It's a new season so we won't be
reprised in that tune. Way back in days

of old.

There was a legend told that
a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a

-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a

-a.

A new cheese in our new cat in its
kitchen.

We'll stay here with the princess till
she weds her little cuss.

Yes, we know it's incest. Still, it's
what our family does.

It's a new season.

Am I easy while she's in her room?

I've tried so desperately to win my
freedom.

Tried? Yes, I've tried, dear God.

It's a new season for our brand new
regime.

A new season here in sunny Valencia.
With new treason to deliciously scheme.

And new levels of psychotic dementia.

I'm putting every qualm aside to seize
my kingdom's reign.

I'll commit some homicide and sing a few
refrains. And this season, maybe I'll

get to squeeze in some. No, we've no
weeks to come. Ignore the...

Skip the football matches. And the
globes made out of gold.

Through all the different tickets.

And every bachelorette.

Giving to the miracle that no one
thought we'd get.

It's a new season, though it's still not
that

long. A new season with a lively new
stage.

Join the royals. And the jester. And the
servant. And the chef.

The queen. The thug. The hero. And the
hero's BFF. And the whole season ends

with armies from Valencia, Hortensia,
and Richard's land in one ginormous

battle to decide who's going to be the
one true king to rule the whole

entire... Way to blow it, you prats.

It's the new season, so hang on to your
call.

I know this area.

There. That is the safest place to come
ashore.

Yes, sir.

I've never been more certain of anything
in my life.

Wow.

I did not know what I was talking about.

Not even a little.

presenting the queen and the guy that
was with the queen when she killed the

other guy who was kind of the king.
Maybe later we can discuss my title.

And what trifling business is before the
court today?

My queen.

My guy who was with the queen when
she... Get on with it.

A chicken laid an egg on the border
between our two properties. We didn't

know what to do, so we just let it sit
there.

But didn't this chicken hatch from that
egg? And now we don't know who the new

chicken...

Belongs to.

Is this for real? Is this really
happening?

I've got this.

I think what we need to consider here is
what came first.

We have a chicken, then there was an
egg. But then before that, there was

another chicken. Kill the chicken, I'll
eat it for dinner. Next!

My queen?

My guy who was with the queen? Oh, get
on with it.

I guess I just have a few questions
about my situation here.

Am I captive?

Am I free?

How's my hair? I mean, I haven't seen a
mirror in weeks. Perhaps you'd like to

go the way of the chicken.

Look, I don't mean to complain. I just
don't know what my role is, and that's

weird.

Yeah, it's a bit rough not having a
role.

You have a role, Gareth.

I do?

Go kill the chicken.

Since the wedding to your cousin is back
on, we thought you might want to choose

a cake topper.

You see nothing wrong with this?

Your only daughter is about to marry her
own cousin, who happens to be an 11-year

-old boy.

We're good with it. Father!

Honey, Galavant is gone.

He was a tall drink of water, and I will
keep him forever in my bank bank. But

it's time to move on.

No.

Wherever he is.

Galavant will come for me. And then we
will marry.

If you marry Galavant, I have to pay for
the whole wedding. You marry your

cousin, I only do the rehearsal dinner.

True love is not about rehearsal
dinners. You haven't seen the Forcacta

bill. You are marrying your cousin. I
can't believe you two.

Planning this wedding as if nothing's
wrong whilst I'm locked away in this

prison. Oh, baby Bella, honey, we love
you.

But you're being a tad dramatic.

This is not a prison.

Coming out.

Where are you, Caliphate?

Well, those pirates were a bit snippy
with me, no?

Please stop talking.

Are you still upset about the shipwreck?

Jeez, man, what's the point of a bygone
if it can't just be a bygone?

A pirate died.

That's what pirates do.

I rarely thought I knew where we were.

Oh, well.

That kingdom can't be too far away from
here.

Oh, no.

What oh, no?

Oh, no. Oh, no what?

I think I may have led us into the
enchanted forest, and that is not good.

My father warned me to stay away from
here at all costs.

There's a queen, an evil queen.

In fact, once my father and his best
friend slash camping buddy Keith, I

called him Uncle Keith because he was
always around. Spit it out. They

wandered in here, and Uncle Keith was
never heard from again.

Oh, great.

Oh, yeah, mm-hmm.

Typical. God, can't you do anything
right? You're just going to keep

walking.

Happy hour?

The Enchanted Forest is a pub.

God, you actually had me scared for a
minute there.

Well, this place is...

It's all men.

Real gentleman's drama.

Well, get used to the attention, son.

This is what happens when you hit the
mainland with King Rich.

I haven't seen you around here before.

Trust me, I'd remember.

John, looks like you've got some
competition.

Oh, hello there. John Hamm?

No, don't tell my wife.

Come, Bobby.

The Queen's going to want to get a look
at this one. I do.

Hold it.

Well,

one thing's for sure.

We'll settle the score.

And trust me, it's more than fair.

Oh, this is so fun.

I want to fly like her, too. Someone
pick me up.

We'll keep you waiting.

Who knows just how long you'll serve.

But, baby, you bet.

You're going to guess the punishment we
deserve.

Off with the shark.

That's a deal.

You're a beefcake. Happy meal.

Go on, you guys.

Just feast your eyes until they hurt.

I have had a blast.

You know, I've never been to one of
these places before.

You've got a pub?

Don't be stupid. You've been to a pub
before.

Anyway, I'm going to head out.

Got to get him back to his kingdom. I've
got to return to saving my one true

love.

She's... Yeah,

she's waiting for me. But thank you for
everything.

And thank you for not feeling as to the
bear.

Goodbye, bear.

Later. Richard, Bama.

See, where do you think you're going?

We just had our best night in years.

You'll be staying here forever.

Or at least until those abs go soft.

But... Guys!

At least Bear seems happy.

What? Jeez, Gorilla, make a fist, pound
the door. It's called knocking.

The boss lady thinks she's the boss of
men. I'm trying to figure out if she is.

Now, you wanted a position.

Here it is.

Be my assistant.

This is the kingdom's charter.

It outlines the changes of power when a
king is deposed.

But I can't read.

Oh, Gareth, are you asking me to teach
you to read? No.

Reading is for morons who can't
understand pictures.

Just read it.

Ten more minutes of outside time, my
lady.

Yeah, not a prison at all, Mum.

Yes, my beautiful bride-to-be.

Jester, Jester, do it for the princess.

Every time he gets me. Stop, I'm going
to pee myself.

Oops, I did.

Let me down.

Great kid.

He's going to make a wonderful husband,
your cousin. I mean, once he stops

peeing himself.

I feel like I've been drinking.

Crazy, Grog.

How can you be happy about this? You
kidding?

This is the easiest gig I've ever had.
It's all fart noises and poop jokes with

this kid. I haven't had to write new
material for months.

And truth be told, it's given me time to
work on my real passion.

I'm trying to break into drama.

So sorry. I can't handle a moment's
silence.

What's wrong with me?

Quinn. Milady. You two have to help me
escape and find Galavant. You must see

how insane this all is.

I do hate the idea of you being forced
into marriage.

I'm kind of big into women's rights.

He really is. He said he's going to let
me keep our first daughter and not just

throw them all out.

The guard.

They order a lot of room service.

Let me see if I can't slip them some
sleepy time pie and get you a key.

You're so kind.

One daughter.

Then we leave the rest to the White
Walkers.

Excuse me. Sorry. Pardon me. Pardon me.
Excuse me. Excuse me.

Need another round of mead light for
Philip and Sebastian, please.

Hello?

Calabant!

Calabant!

Try to escape.

Made it all the way to the door, but my
hands were too cold for mixing slushy

drinks. We are wasting time.

Relax, my brother from another.

Have a drink. Feel the beat.

Oh, that reminds me. Bear told me a
ripper. A bear walks you to a bar. Oh,

you're having fun. I'm so glad, because
the people I care about are in real

trouble. I'm sorry. I'm just trying to
lighten the mood. Well, stop trying. The

more you try, the worse it gets. Just
stay out of my way.

Fine, but from now on, we're pooling our
tips.

Who doesn't?

You're a good bear joke. Bears are
funny. I'm so a giraffe.

Uncle Keith!

Dad said you entered the Enchanted
Forest and never came out.

The other way round, kid.

Huh?

I belong here.

Your father, God rest his soul, he
belonged here.

Was he an alcoholic too?

But you don't belong here.

Okay.

Maybe you do belong here.

Why is

she making us

watch her eat our chicken?

What do you mean, our chicken?

It was my egg first. It weren't. I had
it first. This is why.

This is why you're watching.

Queenie, I need to talk to you about my
title.

Now, I helped you overthrow a king. You
helped your friend escape and watched as

I killed his replacement.

I'm sick of not being treated as an
equal.

I'm sick of having to park my horse in
the stable with the assistance.

Look, according to the scrolls I have
had read to me, I banished the king. So

technically, I am the true king of
Valencia.

And it would really mean a lot to me if
I was treated as such. What is it with

men and their emotions?

Fine. You're king.

Yes.

Oi.

Say it.

Presenting the queen and king of
Valencia.

You don't think... We're not changing
the order. No, it's great. It's fine.

I've got to get out of here, but you've
got to follow me right now. We don't

have much time before the music starts.

Sure. I'll listen to you.

Like when I listen to you about when
we're going to come ashore.

Or maybe when I listen to you... I want
you to know that it hurt me a lot more

than it hurt you.

Use your core, Richard.

Use your core.

Where is my core?

There it is.

You're waking up. Next time.

Good morning, sunshine.

What are you doing?

I'm rescuing us.

What, through the ladies' room?

This is your dumb plan.

The bar needed a ladies' room built to
be able to code, but no one was ever

going to use it, so they didn't bother
finishing.

You know you just saved the day.

Yeah.

I know.

I can't take all the credit.

Gallivant, I want you to meet my Uncle
Keith.

Come on back. Thank you, sir. We are
indebted to you, uncle. Forever and

always. It's nothing.

Who said we can't convince you to come
with us?

No, son. My destiny is here.

Destiny? This is Richard.

Richard. Destiny.

Hello. Hi.

You must go now.

I'll miss you.

Godspeed.

Let's boogie.

Hello.

Hey, here's a silly question.

Do you think Michael Keith might be...
Yes, Richard.

Wow.

You think destiny knows?

You know what?

I owe you an apology, because you really
came through for us today.

Thank you.

I know you don't think much of me, and I
know I screw everything up all the time,

but you have to understand, I was
coddled my entire life. I know. I was

breastfed until I was nine.

I know...

Wait, what? I had a nanny named Pearl.
Oh, I don't want to know. The point is

today's a new day. This is a new chapter
in your life.

You're going to find your inner king.

You really think so?

I do.

It's a new season and a change on the
way.

A new season that's going to make you a
ruler.

Time to start season so much more than
the day.

With a new title that's incredibly
cooler.

And I won't have to marry now that I
have got the key.

I'll leave before Prince Harry even
reaches Hubert's fee.

It's a new season, there's so much to be
done.

A new season and it's only begun.

A new season. The one I'm singing, hi,
Jason, you're good.