All language subtitles for Big Mommas House (2000) [NaijaPrey.com]

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Original subtitles

FBI, throw that piece of shit in there.

No, no, wait. No, no. Whoa!

Why don't you sit down and shut up, you old fool?

Ten thousand. Hmm?

On, uh, bug-eyed one. What?

Big balls, huh? Big balls, huh?

Take that bag.

Ready?

John!

John! A little help down here, please?

No, no doubt. You all right?

I'm just taking a bath.

Okay, we've got a live one, people.

Conference room in five.

Oh, Malcolm, didn't recognize you with the makeup off. Have you got the file on

the Michaels case?

Got it.

Look, I'm just saying, on the street, I can handle distractions.

I gotta be ready for anything.

You too grown for this shit, man!

who was serving a life sentence for murder escaped from a federal

penitentiary earlier this evening. He is seen here on security cameras robbing

the Century Union Bank.

Desko is extremely dangerous.

Several law enforcement... What's wrong?

Nothing's wrong.

Nothing's wrong.

You know, how would you like to go on a little vacation?

I don't know. We've never been on a vacation.

Well, how fast can you get ready?

Well, you look ready to me.

Grab your medicine.

Got your tea bottle?

Yep. Let's roll.

Not a nice man, people.

Two years ago, he robbed a bank, popped a guard and a bank manager and walked

out with two million in cash and bear a bond.

We got him four days later, but the money was never recovered.

Twelve hours ago, he killed a prison doctor and drove out the front gate in

the man's Volvo. Very creative.

Now, what about the girl from the original robbery?

That's his girlfriend, Sherry Pierce.

Never convicted, worked in the bank as a loan officer.

So she gives him access to the vault, cries on his stand, and walks away with

two million large.

Exactly. But we never proved it.

She's pretty smart. Keeps a low profile, works two shit jobs.

Now it looks like she's in the wind.

So we find her, we find laughter, we find the money.

What about the stepbrother in Oakland?

That's a good idea. You and Gallagher take it.

We'll get you some warrants, you set up a surveillance.

Great. Malcolm and I can stay here at the office and hit the phones.

Hey. No, no, no, no. I've got something special planned for you two.

Seems Sherry's got a long-lost grandmother in Cartersville, Georgia.

And who knows, Malcolm, maybe you'll find an Armani outlet over by the Piggly

Wiggly.

All right, that's all, people.

I want you.

Yes, she is. It's Big Mama.

What a classic scene.

Yeah. Genteel old lady pruning her roses.

Lord, I done told Sadie about this dog.

Let me get you over here again, and I'll barbecue some hot dogs.

You know what, man?

Erskine and Stone have probably caught that girl Sherry two days ago.

They just want us to sit around here.

It can tick off our ass. I know. Nobody's tried to kill you for the past

couple of days. The stress must be overwhelming.

I'm just here to catch a bad guy.

If it goes down hard, so be it. And if we could get inside and plant the

surveillance equipment, we wouldn't have to stand around here all day. Oh, hey,

hey, what do we have here?

Ah, this must be one of those great southern traditions. You stand in the

middle of the street and exchange baked goods.

Nah, nah, you bring them over.

That's how you meet the new neighbor.

Where are you going? This may be the only chance we have while she's out of

the house with that disability.

Okay? Stall them.

What do you mean, stall them? Trust me. Malcolm!

Malcolm! Four and a half minutes.

Well, howdy, ladies.

Hello, neighbor.

Welcome to Maple Drive.

We hope you will come to love. Oh, shut up and give the man your dry old bunt

cake so I can go home.

Oh, you'll have to excuse that, babe. Her stomach's not feeling too good. I'm

Miss Patterson, and this is Miss Other Patterson.

We call her that because she's from a whole different set of Pattersons.

My name's John.

John what?

Patterson. Isn't that a weird coincidence?

Yes, it is. Hey, maybe we're all related.

I

used

to be married, but not anymore.

Oh, Lord.

Is she with Jesus?

No, actually, Jesus, I think, is how he pronounces it. He was the gardener.

I called him... Spreading some fertilizer in the bedroom, if you know

what I mean.

Oh, excuse me, honey. Here's your cornbread, but I got to go.

Oh, wait, no, you can't. Ladies, it was really a pleasure.

You can't leave?

Come on, where's all this great southern hospitality?

I've heard so much about Hattie Mae, if I can call you that.

Listen, I was hoping we could sit in the front porch and shuck corn, shoot

squirrels. Boy, you ain't right.

Did somebody hook you up to a jumper cable or something or other? When I say

I got to go, move, I got to go.

Wait, wait.

You

know

what I do when I have an upset stomach?

I jog.

Yes. Come on. It's good when you get up to run. Come on.

Now listen, either I can go around you or I can go through you.

Whichever one you decide.

Fine.

No. No.

No.

No.

You cannot go in there. No. You're telling me that I can't go in my own

house. No. I'm telling you, you cannot go in there without giving me a big,

showering welcome. Come on.

Yeah. Come on, now.

A little sugar on it. Now, if you want a second helping, let me know, because I

got two...

before I lose my mouth all over myself.

Whoa,

I'll make it.

Have mercy, Lord.

Have mercy.

Food and stew, prune.

Oh, happy day when Jesus washed.

I'm so glad that he washed.

He washed my sins away.

I done seen a lot of scary shit in my day.

Damn, that was a lot of ass.

I think I need a splint or something.

I'm here.

It comes to a net full of blow and a check full of O's, you know. I got

heavy. I was grand now and don't look back until I died like that. Say my name

when you see a black do-rag through the tent of a black bitch going too fast.

Say my name when you talk about longevity and they know how to keep

getting that gas. When it comes to clubs, packs, crypto flowing.

I got heavy. When it comes to homes, dust out, chrome stuck out, traffic.

When it comes to a net full of blow and a check full of O's, you know. I got

habit.

Dr. Green, Loser PDS. I got habit. Say my name.

Here we go.

Ah, God.

Miss it.

Miss it. Miss it.

Think you can throw me off my shit?

I'm in the zone.

Ah, $100. Come on. Man, that shit don't count.

What are you talking about?

Man, you're all up in my grill. 100 bucks, man.

Who the hell could be calling her at this time of night, man? Oh, Tracy.

How you doing?

Oh, Lord, William's in the hospital again.

I'll be there. I'm prepared.

I can stay a week or two weeks.

She's leaving, man. Now's our chance to tap the phone. Yeah. Come on.

Driver, please get him to the bus station.

Yes, ma'am.

Yeah, gotta go and help Fred out.

Oh, babe.

Back up off me. Hello.

This is Hattie Mae Peters. But go on, leave me a little message. As soon as I

get back, I'll give you a shout.

God bless.

Uh, Big Mama, it's Sherry.

Surprised, huh?

Um, hey, listen, I was taking a little vacation, and I was sort of headed in

your direction, and I thought that maybe I'd stop in and check on you, since I

haven't seen you in a while.

But it looks like you're not home, so I guess I'll see you on the next trip.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We lost her.

And Big Mom, I just want you to know, I know it's been a long time since we've

talked, but I really do love you and miss you very much.

Oh, praise the Lord.

It's my baby Sherry.

I'm here.

Honey, chow, lamb, chop, sugar, food.

Hey, listen, I know things haven't been so great between us these past couple

years.

And I just want you to know that your place is the only place that's

ever really felt like home for me.

And I can't wait to see you, and I love you very much.

Well, um...

I'm glad it felt like a home to you, Sherry.

Well, you hurry home then, all right? And I'm going to make sure that I lock

you up so you don't get away from me ever again.

Bye, Big Mama.

Okay, Sherry. Bye-bye.

What the hell did you just do?

Kept us in play. If Big Mama's not here, then she's just going to leave, and then

we have no case.

Don't worry.

Big mama be here.

How did it make me?

And remember, look at me, and remember that our business is our business, okay?

They're here. Now, here's the earpiece. Right.

If anybody asks you, you just tell them it's your new hearing aid or something.

How do I look?

Oh, hey, if I were an 85-year-old man with cataracts and a bad hip, I'd take a

run at you. Shut up.

You fine.

Sherry, you changed. Hey, look at you, Big Mama. I hardly recognize you. Oh,

child, that's only makeup. Now come on over here. Give your Big Mama a great

big hug.

Oh, Sherry. Oh,

it's so good to see you, Big Mama. I thought you may have forgotten all about

me. Oh, girl, that's your mouth, child.

Oh, Big Mama could never forget that ass.

Yeah, I remember it like it was yesterday, Sherry. Ooh, you used to puff

and wheeze something wicked.

I said, Sherry, you already did.

Oh, damn.

Ooh. Big Mama getting a little lightheaded. Ooh. Big Mama, wait a

second now. Maybe we should take you upstairs.

Ooh, bless your little asthmatic.

Just by looking at him.

Look at that nappy little grapefruit head.

You know it runs in the family.

Yeah, grapefruit heads.

Your granddaddy had a big ass head.

You know the hotel out by the freeway had a pool.

He's a quick little one, isn't he? Yeah.

Ooh, they grow up so fast.

What with the color television and all.

Well, here come the fine big mama pretty quick herself.

I'm starving.

Are y'all hungry? Actually, we are. We're pretty hungry.

Oh, come on in. I'm here to take care of y'all. Come on, Cherry.

Come on in.

Oh, Cherry, let me get this bag for you. Oh, no, Big Mama. I got it. You're Big

Mama.

You are.

You're going to love Big Mama's cooking.

I think it's going to be windy today. There's a draft.

Sherry, I like to make sure that my food is properly lubricated. It goes down

easier that way.

Oh, my God, he's going to kill her. This guy can't even make toast.

Let's see what's in there to cook now.

Ooh,

ooh, got some pork chop, turkey necks. Ooh, chop, do you like the

one for me?

Well, I'm probably not going to eat this, but you can have mine, all right,

Sherry? You can have mine.

Now, Sherry, you just sit back, watch and learn.

Malcolm, I don't know how to tell you this, but your face is falling off.

Big Mom?

Big Mom, are you okay?

Where's that?

I'm going to go and start setting the table. Yeah, you do that.

I get them all the time. You do your housework in the nude and it tends to

attract the wrong element.

Nothing like a little excitement to get the blood going.

While I fix dinner, why don't you tell me what brings you to Big Mama's house

after all these years?

Well, we were just on a little vacation.

Middle of the night seems a funny time to go on vacation.

I thought you might have been in some kind of trouble.

How did you know that we left in the middle of the night?

I didn't. No.

Oh. Oh.

Oh, Big Mom, are you okay?

Oh, yeah.

Ain't nothing but a little salt and pork grease.

There you are.

So what about it, child?

You in trouble?

Is there something you want to tell Big Mom?

Big Mama, is that duct tape on your face?

Oh, dear, the duct tape. Well, I guess you're wondering why I got the duct

tape. It's a beauty secret.

Really? Yes.

You never use duct tape to get rid of them inciting hairs?

Oh, child, it works particularly well on the bikini area.

Really? No doubt, girl.

Pork chops on fire.

We could always run down to Ring-A-Ding Burger, get them a smiley meal.

Oh, no, Big Mom, and this, um, this looks great.

All right, well, then eat up.

Take your big old forkful.

Why is your plate not hot enough?

I hope I didn't put too much seasonings on.

Oh, would you like for me to get that for you? Oh, no, I got to share.

I wonder who could...

Could be at this time of night.

Oh, just a second.

I wonder who this could be surprising me this time of evening.

I say, I wonder who could be at my door so late at night.

Oh, there's my sugar.

Oh, you better put that nasty-ass tongue back in your mouth before I rip it out.

Yes, ma'am. My mouth is closed when these hands are open for business.

Big Mama, who was it?

Oh, that's just a Bible salesman.

Sherry, let's go back and finish. You're rolling, but you can't hide.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Ben Raleigh's name. Pleased to meet you.

Sherry. Okay. Big Mama, you didn't tell me you had a man.

Chella ain't got no man.

Why, she got every man in this town sleeping around like a bunch of dogs.

I do?

Do I smell some greens?

Yeah, come on. and there's plenty for everybody.

Oh, no, no.

Now, Ben, you know you can't eat no greens.

Greens give you gas, something wicked.

Last time I had been over for greens, I had to read wallpaper.

Oh, Ben, let me show you to your car.

Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

You look different.

Different? You know, I said the same thing.

That face and those eyes, you've changed.

James. Yes, ma'am.

You're getting younger every day.

Sherry, say goodnight to Mr.

Rawlings. Good night. Nice meeting you.

Who the hell do you think you are?

Coming up in here trying to put your nasty ass lips on me.

I am not street booty. I will not be treated like street poutine.

Ben, if you want to get with me, I mean, you will never get with me, understand?

And even if I was interested, which I definitely am not, you'd be going about

it completely the wrong way.

Well, how am I supposed to go about it then?

You don't come up in a woman's house and leave with your shavoy point.

Women don't respond to that.

I should have bought you something, shouldn't I?

Like a casage. A casage?

This ain't no damn prom.

Ben, you got to bring a woman something special.

Something that means it's from your heart, Ben.

Come on, you's an OG, aren't you?

You's a fake one, but you's a probably OG, huh?

All right, we'll get it together.

Thanks, Eddie, baby.

Yeah, well, good. Get your ass come out of here.

Oh, and that's it for the suit?

Mm-mm.

Sherry made a call today.

Who was it? Dr.

Green in Los Angeles. It's a refill on the kid's allergy prescription. As far

as I can tell, she's done nothing to try and get in touch with Lester.

Oh, she will.

And when she does, we'll be right there to catch her.

Why?

You know?

You want to give me those or have you grown too attached to them?

Prescription called in for Trent here.

Alphard Pharmacy, Cartersville, Georgia.

I know what you're up to.

You think you're nickel slick, but I got your penny changed.

What you talking?

I'm just taking in a little air. You can't fool an old fool.

Sadie's got it all figured out.

Look, you old bat.

Now, this is a federal... The man ain't been in this neighborhood for two days,

and you all over him.

Oh, you think me and the white... No, I don't get down like that. Are you

drinking that corn liquor? Are you sipping on the yak?

Maybe I have.

But something's going on. I got my eye on you two.

What a day.

What a damn day.

Big Mama, there's someone here to see. They say it's an emergency.

Emergency? What kind of emergency?

You're... Oh, that.

Oh, child.

When you get to be my age... They're like yard dogs.

If you don't put them on a leash, they'll just roam all over the

neighborhood.

Big Mama.

Big Mama, you got to come out here quick.

What you talking?

Big Mama, it's time.

Time for what?

It's time. Rita's going to have a baby.

Oh. Oh, well, that's great. Thank you for stopping by. Now, look, be sure to

send me an invitation to a baby shower.

Big Mama, her water broke on the way back from the movie theater. This baby

could be here any minute. And you got to deliver it.

Excuse me?

Well, you're the midwife, aren't you?

Midwife?

Take it easy.

I've called the paramedics, and all you got to do is just stall, and then you

get out of the way when they get there, okay?

Okay, excuse me.

Let's close this, okay? You don't want your business waving all in the air.

I don't know.

I said close them. They don't...

or baking up a storm. Bacon?

Paramedic? Nolan is a security guard at the lumberyard.

Head security guard, all right? I got two men and three dogs working up under

me. How you doing? I'm Nolan, Rita's brother.

Great. Wait, paramedics? Is something wrong?

No, no, no. Damn it, I knew it. I told you that senile old hag was getting too

old to be doing this.

Senile? Who the hell are you calling senile? You want to step outside? Look,

I took CPR.

Can't be too much harder than that.

Damn.

Okay, now get your chunky ass in gear and find me some hot water.

Lena, I need towels, lots of towels.

Okay, and somebody get me some lard from Herbley Crisco. We got a baby by the

side of this world.

There's Crisco for everything down here.

Something else.

That's a baby.

Oh, Big Mama, you are amazing.

Oh, thank you, child.

You know, I wonder what they're going to name her.

I know. You know, if it was a boy, they could have named it like Raekwon or

Trevon. Trevon is cute. You think that? But it's a girl, Big Mama. You got to

think of a girl name.

Shaniqua.

Shaniqua. You don't like that?

Come on now, Big Mama. It should be a biblical name, right? Maybe something

beautiful like that. That's right.

Big Mama, do you remember this?

Oh, my word.

Yes.

Sherry, no. No, I couldn't, Sherry. Big Mama, I just want to make sure that if I

ever have to go away for a long time, that you have something to remember me

by.

All right.

And I know it's a little tarnished, but it's gotten me through some pretty tough

times.

Tough times?

Sounds like a man is involved.

Something like that.

Sure. You know that old boyfriend you had who got in trouble?

Whatever happened to him?

Oh, Big Mama, that's such a long story.

I better go check on Trent.

You need anything?

Oh, I'm fine. Thank you.

Sit out here and catch my breath, you know.

Okay, I understand.

Oh!

Excuse me? Who are you?

Oh, me? Oh, I'm sorry.

Sometimes I just get so caught up in my work that I forget things.

I'm Malcolm. I'm Malcolm. Hey, how are you?

Madame.

Big Mama asked me to come by and... At 5.45 in the morning?

No doubt. Yeah. I'm an electrician, you know.

You're not really an electrician, are you?

No. No, I'm not. You got me. I got busted.

I didn't go to electrical college, if that's what you mean. But I'm a

handyman. Yeah, handyman's my thing. What are you doing?

Hey, how you doing, man?

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Trent?

How did you know his name?

Big mama been bragging all over town about you, man. She has not.

Yes, she has.

Trent's so smart.

Trent's so cute.

Trent knows karate.

I know a little bit.

That's what I'm talking about.

Come on, show me a little bit of your moves.

You're a little sober, the guy. Don't worry, I won't hurt him.

What the hell is he doing?

Hey!

Hey,

baby, be careful.

All right, let me show you what I got. Which way I'm coming? Which way I'm

coming, huh?

Okay,

it just got serious.

See you later, Trent.

Bye.

Yeah, I used to take a little karate myself.

Okay, I'm going to go inside now, and I'll come back and check on you in a

little while, just to make sure you haven't killed yourself.

I appreciate it.

You blew your cover.

You know, John, if you was thinking straight...

You realize Malcolm's our best shot for cracking this case. You know, Sherry

ain't never going to tell her grandmother about this.

Right.

Hurry up, man. She's leaving.

I'm going to search the house while you're gone.

Sherry? Where are you off to?

Oh, I'm dropping Trent off to play some basketball, and then I'm just going to

go into town for a little bit.

Okay, well, good.

I'll go with you. I need to do some shopping anyway.

No, um... Ooh, Trent Duvall.

This ass here could do some serious damage.

Sherry, I'm not on your gear shelf, am I?

Um...

Well, good. Keep looking.

Big Mama, stay here and talk to your friend. I'm going to go. I'll talk to

you later, okay? Sherry, wait.

I'll be right back.

Hattie, Hattie, I need to do this before I lose my nerve. Yeah, well, you better

run along for that. That ain't all you're going to lose.

Listen, Hattie, listen to me.

Hattie, Hattie, listen.

It was my mother.

She's been sitting on my dresser for 30 years.

Just sitting in that little one-room apartment of mine doing nothing when it

could have been our scene in the world.

Hattie, I just want to give you something.

Just to prove to you, I know how to give my heart to a woman.

There you are.

Girl, we've been looking all over for you.

Patty.

Patty. Hold on a minute. You losing weight?

Yeah, I've been working with that new Avro. Oh, baby.

Baby, baby.

Handles up here.

Sugar is working. You know what? Come on now. Come on now. We're going to be

late.

Maybe not.

Maybe you're walking home from a church social.

Maybe you're standing on your sun porch smoking a pack of Virginia Slims. But

wherever you be, you got to be prepared for this.

That was a little fast.

Let me do it again.

is going to take it easy on you? Somebody attacked you on the street, you

think they're going to go about it delicately?

I don't think so.

Now, where were we?

I think you were going to ask for another volunteer, and personally, I

would consider it a privilege.

Okay.

Let's go over some real-life situations.

All right, now, first off, go on, stand right there.

You're walking down the street, strutting your stuff, and somebody

scream out to you, hey, baby, why don't you back that thing up and show me what

you got, what you're going to do?

Well, I'd say I got a size 10, and I'm about to cram it up his bony

ass.

What if that don't work?

What if he decide he still want to get a little heat to that?

Turn fear and panic into power.

That's right. You can't be scared. You got to fight back.

I've been looking all over for you.

I

know

I got some explaining to do.

That's a good idea. Yeah.

I paid way too much for this new wig to mess it up here.

That's what I'm talking about.

Woo, I feel free.

Hattie, you done with him?

Can I have a go?

Most definitely.

Oh, madame.

Oh, okay, ladies.

Oh, I don't think we're going to get this going on.

That's what I'm looking for.

That's what I'm looking for.

that's what i'm looking for that's what i'm looking for

Hi, Trit.

Mommy, you need some help? No, I'm not that old. I don't need no help.

How you doing?

Good. How was basketball?

Good. You okay?

I'm going to go up to our dinner. And make sure you put the fat back in the

greens.

Hey, it's yours.

You didn't know Big Mama knew that move, did you?

That's called an assist.

Trent, me and you haven't had much time to just sit down and talk.

Your mama didn't happen to talk to you about where you were going to next, did

she? I mean, she didn't happen to say anything about meeting up with her old

friend? I don't know.

Trent, you know I'm your big mama, right?

You could talk to me. You could go far out of me. You know that, right? I said

I don't know.

Anyway, Mama said we shouldn't tell our business.

That's some stuff she just keeps to herself.

Is that right?

Did something happen while you were down at basketball?

All the guys were mean to me.

Say what?

They kicked me off the court.

Uh-uh.

No, see, I knew it.

No, see, don't nobody mess with my babies.

Who do they think they are kicking somebody off the court? It's not their

court. That is a public court. Let me go get my nine.

Okay. Oh, no, I'll keep that.

You know what, Trent?

Let me calm down.

How about we take a little walk down to the park?

Is that all you got?

Well, y'all better get ready to sit down, because you ain't going to last

long once we get up here. Ain't that right, Trent?

Oh, so Granny thinks you got game.

Oh, yes, I got game. Got two words, too.

I'm back.

You're too fat to be balling. Say what?

You look like a damn shaved bird. Look at you.

Just fly your... You know what? Never mind, young man. I'm not even going to

get into it with you. Man, here's the rock.

Didn't know I could catch that, huh? I just didn't know what's coming. Let's do

that.

I'm at you.

What the hell?

Game point!

Well, morning, Sherry. Good morning.

Truck wanted waffles.

Have a seat.

No, I'm going to have some toast.

Oh, okay.

Malcolm's been asking about you.

Oh, really?

Yes. He was wondering how long you were going to be in town.

He thought you might be meeting up with some old friends from California.

I wonder what would make him think that.

Maybe something you said.

Sherry, if you're going to be in town for a while, you ought to spend some

time with that boy.

You know, get to know him. Big Mama, you really think he's going to solve all my

problems, don't you? Oh, yeah.

Child, if I was 40 years younger, and able to walk down the street without

tripping over my own breasts, oh, child.

Yes, yes, I'd take him on. I'd give him a taste.

Oh, shoot.

Got a little jam on here? Yeah. I just washed this too. Big Mama, do you have

any soda water?

Uh,

yeah. Top of the shelf, Sharon.

Ooh.

Oh, my damn.

What's wrong, Big Mama?

Uh, nothing. Stains. I hate stains because it's hard to get out. And that's

a jammy jam stain. I know.

Hey, little man. What you up to?

We're going fishing.

Mom's gonna let me drive the boat.

How you doing, Sherry?

Well, let me guess. You're here to empty out the septic tank.

You got jokes.

No, no. Actually, I was in the neighborhood.

So I was just stopping by.

Hey, Marco.

You ever go fishing?

Oh, yeah. I fish in the neighborhood all the time.

Yeah, I know a thing or two.

Really?

Yes, really.

I do all kind of fishing.

If I haven't caught anything, it's worth holding on to.

Yeah, well, maybe you're using the wrong bait.

What kind of bait should I be using?

Hey, Mom.

Yeah? Can Malcolm come with us?

Oh, sweetie, I'm sure Malcolm has more important things to do today.

Actually, I don't.

Come on, Malcolm. Mom doesn't know what she's doing.

I can show you where all the hot spots are.

Sure. I don't see why not. Come on, Malcolm. I've never been fished.

Nothing?

Nothing to it.

Mom,

did you see that fish jump? I did. It looked like he was smiling at us, right?

Like he was laughing.

Laughing at Falcon.

That's funny.

Thank you. Put that on you. A little nippy, huh?

Yeah. Yeah.

You know, there's something about your eyes. I don't know. They're really

familiar.

Oh, I know you think you can recognize my eyes, but you know what? A lot of

people have these eyes.

Yeah, these ain't even mine.

Yeah, I bought them from a friend, and I got to have them back by dusk.

Yeah, a lot.

I'll be home. Got to get home.

And you don't have much time.

He really loves it out here.

It's a great place to grow up.

You should know that.

Yeah, but you forget, you know, when you move on and your life takes you places

that you never thought you'd go.

Where has your life taken you?

Far away from here, and I'm not sure if I'm going back.

Really?

I can't catch anything.

Keep trying, sweetie.

Sherry, your last boyfriend, what was he like?

Most people aren't who they say they are.

Yeah, well, you got to trust somebody sometime.

Why not start with me?

I asked for you, Trent. Why don't you just take a break, okay?

Oh, no, you don't have to be fast.

What you got there?

Let me help you with that a little, Trent.

Let me see that.

Sometimes, when you want to catch something, you just got to slow down.

Be patient.

And they might come to you.

Thanks, Malcolm.

What do I do?

Catch the lightning ball.

I see you're a man of great taste.

Do you need anything else?

Laptop? Cameras? AK-47?

Stereos? Rolex?

Guess not.

I'll take it. Great.

That'll be $200.

Your girl told me $100. I don't care what she said.

That gun will cost you two.

$200. This transaction was real bad, real quick.

It just went bad, didn't it?

Pull it.

100's good.

I can do 100.

Yes, sir. Yes.

I understand, sir.

Oh, no, no, no. Sure, I can handle him. Yeah, don't you worry.

He knows exactly what he's doing.

Bye. What the hell are you doing? Don't start.

No, Malcolm, really. I love the little Jerry Maguire moment with the kid. That

was very touching.

Although it might make it a little awkward when it comes time to arrest

her, but... John, okay, my attraction to her is strictly professional.

Great. Oh, and trust me, she's innocent.

Oh, and that's based on what? Your professional attraction to her? Is that

right?

Everybody freeze!

You freeze!

Oh, damn! Y'all ought to cut Big Mom up into little pieces!

Nobody's done nothing to Big Mom!

FBI!

Looks like we're going to have to arrest this guy now, huh?

Now, I've gone undercover as Big Mama.

Hey, as you can see.

Is that what it is?

Yeah.

Now, listen, Nolan, this is top secret.

Okay? We're after a hardened criminal.

What I need you to do is stake out the bank. Okay? Can you handle that? No

problem. All right. Now, what I'm saying is shut your mouth on this one. I mean

it. Hush.

Don't say nothing. Nah, nah.

You with me? Mm-hmm. All right. Okay, if you can do that.

We might find a place for you on the force.

You'd be in.

In the bureau?

Right, right in the bureau.

Probably you'll get the F, but you won't get the B.I. until some years come.

Right, because there's some work involved with you. Exactly, exactly.

Right, right, right. Like the bank work.

I'm all over it.

You awake?

Yes, Sherry. Is everything all right?

Oh, yeah. I was just coming to check on you to make sure you're okay.

I'm sorry.

That scared me.

You all right?

Yeah, I'm okay.

Oh, that's good.

I remember when I was a little girl and it used to storm like this.

And you would wrap your arms around me.

Oh, you mean like this?

Yeah.

And I just felt like nothing in the world could ever hurt me.

Doesn't this feel so good?

Oh, it feels so damn good.

Big Mama.

Yeah? What's that?

What's what?

That.

Oh!

That was just my flashlight.

Oh. Yeah, the storm knocked out all the power, and I had to get a big old

flashlight. Oh, okay.

You okay?

Oh, yeah, just trying to get comfortable. All right.

All right.

Let's try to get some sleep.

It's easy for you to say.

You know, Big Mama, when I called you the

other day, I didn't think you'd even want to talk to me.

Why would you say that, Sherry?

Well, it's been a long time since we've talked, and I'm not a little girl

anymore.

And I know that you've probably heard some things that I'm not very proud of.

Well, maybe I didn't want to believe those things.

Maybe I only want to believe the best about you.

You sure have changed, Big Mama.

How so?

Shoot, when I was a little girl, you whooped my butt if I even looked guilty.

Well, it got your hind pots in shape, didn't it?

Yeah, well, you learned your lesson.

Yeah, I learned how to look innocent.

Hey, Mama?

Yeah?

Is there another flashlight under there?

Somebody may see you. No, no, no. Don't worry about that.

I got Nolan watching the perimeter.

He'd like his own gun, and he wants to know if we can use secret code names.

You better watch him.

Oh, and who's gonna watch you?

What are you talking about? You slept with her, man. I didn't sleep with her.

Big Mama slept with her.

Okay. Thanks for the visual.

You know what I mean.

What, are you putting on your makeup in the dark now?

Big Mama?

Come on, Big Mama.

We're going to be late.

Late? Late for what?

Church. We're leaving in five minutes.

Okay, maybe she got to me. But believe me, this will not affect my work on this

case.

That big bag that she took downtown the other day?

Yeah. Yeah, she didn't come back with that, did she?

If you want to save this girl, then that's fine.

But you got to get her to confess everything, or else when we catch

Lester, she's going to go down with him.

Serve this morning.

This morning we're having shakes.

You know, the Lord got me to thinking the other day that maybe it's time that

I stop preaching and start listening.

Maybe one of our saints here could offer us a word

from above.

Earlier this week, I went to my phone, and the Lord took my

dialing finger.

And after about three rings, three rings, three rings, I

heard a sweet, angelic voice say,

Boy, you better get that thing out of my face. Move, let's go now.

That's right. It was Hattie Mae Pierce.

Saints, we can learn a lot from this lady.

For she has been to sorrow's kitchen and licked the

pot clean.

Are you ready to testify?

I wasn't expecting this, right?

I'm trying to make is that our secrets, they eat away at us.

So if we want to be protected, hear me now,

we got to confess everything

because the truth shall

set you free.

And with the day that happened, oh, won't it be a happy day?

Oh,

happy day.

Oh, happy day.

Oh, happy day.

When Jesus was born.

Son of your nightcap.

You hear something?

I don't think Big Mama likes surprise parties.

Let's eat.

Oh, Big Mama, where did you get that from?

Come on, won't you get to me? Come on, give it up. Give it up before you hurt

somebody, okay?

Oh, I'm about to go secure the perimeter.

Nolan, Nolan.

Nolan.

John, this is all we need. Him screwing this thing up. Why'd you let all these

people in here in the first place? It's a surprise party. I didn't know anything

about it.

I'm going to go upstairs and change for the party. Good idea.

Well, I guess you're wondering what I got you for your

birthday. Please don't tell me your mama had more jewels.

Well, now, if you don't want it, now, you don't have to.

What is that boy up to now, Big Mom?

You stay down here and watch the food.

I'll go.

All right.

Red?

What are you looking for?

Nothing.

Why don't you go downstairs and help your mom with the food?

Yes, ma'am.

Yeah? Where'd you put the, um, sweet corn? I was looking for it. Is it

outside in the freezer?

Sherry, is there anything you want to see to Big Mama?

No, Big Mama. Why do you ask?

Oh, really?

Well, then I guess that chain isn't the only thing that came back to me

tarnished.

I found the money, Sherry.

What money?

Big Mama, I'm so sorry, but I got to go.

I got to get out of here.

Sheriff! Sheriff!

Hey, Officer, I'm looking for Miss Hattie Mae Pierce's house. You know

where she lives?

Big Mama?

Yeah. You're less than two miles away.

She's going to die when she sees me.

Sheriff!

Sherry, now you're going to have to tell me what's going on. Everything, Sherry.

Yes. I'm begging you to trust me. I mean, you can trust your big mama, can't

you? Now, who's this lad? Big mama? I thought I was in love with him. He stole

my keys. He got into the vault. He shot two people, and he must have hidden the

money in Trent's footlocker before they arrested him.

Are you saying you didn't know anything about the money?

Well, what about that big bag you had the other day, Sherry? What about the

phone call you made in town?

Happy birthday.

And the phone call was to set up your surprise party.

You're telling the truth.

You didn't have anything to do with the robbery.

Well, of course I did. I mean, I knew that the keys were missing, and I didn't

say anything to anybody because I was afraid I was going to lose my job.

Is that it?

That's the big mistake you made, Sherry?

Big Mama, I should have said something.

I know what kind of man Lester is.

Oh, Sherry.

Big Mama, what are you doing?

Oh, excuse me, child.

Sometimes Big Mama just feel like kissing folks, that's all.

Well, could you warn me next time?

Yes, sure.

Sherry, listen to me.

You're not to blame.

Lester stole the keys.

Lester stole the money.

And Lester shot those people.

Big Mom, I should have known. I could trust you. Thank you so much.

Well, everything's going to be okay, all right? Mm-hmm.

Yes.

I'm going to call Malcolm. He'll help us fix everything.

No worries.

No worries. I'll fix it.

Yes, ma'am.

I've been waiting on this moment ever since I first laid eyes on you.

Can't get enough of your love, baby.

I'm tired of being alone.

Ben, whatever you started in that bed, trust me, you're going to finish alone.

Oh, had it, baby.

Ben, I swear, if I see a Sheboyka, all hell's going to break loose.

You're back so soon.

To me, so soon.

What the hell's wrong with this door? Hey, how about I hop in there and we go

for a spin, huh? A little spin.

Hey, Mama?

Mama?

Oh, there you are.

Everyone's looking for you. What are you doing?

Oh, I'm just freshening up.

Come on, it's time to get your cake. Yeah, everybody's waiting on you.

Driver, if I give you $20, would you step outside and kick his ass on me?

Yes, ma'am. No, no.

Sir, you do not have to kick my ass. Wait a minute. Just wait, wait, wait.

Look, okay, if you really must know, it's a surprise party for you. And if

you go in there now, you're going to ruin it.

Well, if that's my party, looks like I'm missing it.

It's so loud in here. Maybe you'd be more comfortable over at my house, huh?

Where have you been? We've been looking all over for you.

It's time to cut your birthday cake.

All of this for my birthday?

Yeah, everybody's all dressed up and looking good, and I want to go freshen

up and get out my traveling clothes.

Damn, that was fast.

What the hell are you doing, Nolan?

Y'all sure went through a lot of trouble for old Big Mama.

You know that's rare these days.

I know.

There's so much else to do that you forget about people.

Big Mama is here. What are you talking about? She's back. The real Big Mama is

back.

You want me to take her out? No, no.

Just... Keep her away from Malcolm until we can figure out a way to sneak her out

of here.

Good.

You know, Big Mama hold out a woman. I may need a little help.

You two in my bed?

Oh, hell no!

Hear me.

I can explain.

Explain!

Scratch, scratch, scratch, went the clawing at my door.

Who's there?

I said, hoping it was only my imagination.

Mom, look.

It's Ghostworth.

Now,

Sherry. Where's my baby Sherry?

Sherry!

My big mouse.

all over for you.

You'll never believe who's here. Who's here?

Plenty of fun people. Let's dance over a meat club, shall we? Come on.

Say goodbye to my grandmother.

Yeah.

Girl, that is so... Big Mama?

Sherry. Sherry, is that you?

Oh, what a beautiful surprise.

Yeah, Big Mama, I just wanted to come and say goodbye because we have to leave

now. Oh, but you just... I don't want you to leave.

Please, don't leave.

No, Big Mama, we have to go now, and I just wanted to say thank you for

everything.

Okay, goodbye.

Go.

Freeze, sucker!

Oh, no, what the hell are you doing? Put that thing down.

You freeze, sucker.

Don't shoot me. Let her know.

Oh, shit.

I forgot my keys.

What the hell?

Big... Big Mama?

Are y'all double mint twin?

Freeze! FBI!

Now you all over that shit. Yeah, I was something, huh? Yeah.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy, easy. Oh, but I got to tell you, this getting shot part,

that's not as much fun as you think it would be.

How come?

Trent.

Trent!

Watch out!

Better tell me something, because this show is some freaky shit.

Yes, I'll bust you in your head again if I catch you fooling around with my

candy. Look, it's thicker than water.

Is that morphine in there? God, it's a hell of an aspirin.

Sherry. Sherry.

Go inside, sweetie.

How's he doing?

He's fine.

You thought I was guilty the whole time, didn't you?

You went through all this trouble to try to catch me in a lie, and you were the

one being dishonest.

I was just doing my job.

So the lake and everything, that was just you doing your job, right?

No.

You got to trust somebody sometime. Why not start with me?

I find that hard to believe, Malcolm.

Oh, Sherry, Sherry, Sherry.

How do you feel, Malcolm?

Nervous about your testimony?

Nervous?

No. No, I'm cool.

It won't be the first time I testify.

This one ain't getting away.

Let's hope. It's your basic hostile jury. Good luck. Yeah.

All right.

Yes, brother.

Reverend,

I come to testify.

What's he doing here?

This is God's house.

All of his children are welcome.

Yeah, maybe all excepting him.

This better be good, son.

Yeah. Now wobble, wobble.

I've come here today to ask for understanding.

I believe the good book says, if you don't know me, don't judge me. That was

Tupac. Definitely Tupac.

Tupac, all right.

Well, Trent, what does it say?

Mom says, Jesus said we should love one another as we love ourselves.

No, Trent, that's an old lyric from Al Green. I got it on the 8-track.

Jesus did say that. Amen.

Yes, he did.

Anyway, Trent, do you remember that day at the lake when I told you that if you

wanted something bad enough, you got to be patient and it might come to you?

Well, I think that only works with fireflies.

But if it's someone important, you got to put yourself into it. You have to go

get it.

Sherry, the makeup.

You know, the whole, and the protruding it, the big thing, you know.

Excuse me.

Look, that was fake.

But what I feel about you, that's real.

You know, Reverend, I think the Lord is trying to give us some true word through

this brother here.

Well, may the angel speed your path on up here, Big Mama.

Get your man.

Oh, happy day.

Oh, happy day.

Jesus was.

I feel the wind

To the big mama's house. Those that get a chance to dance, they can get turned

down. To the big mama's house. One night in here, I be climbing off the walls. To

the big mama's house. When you gonna take my man?

Oh, no.

Oh. Oh.

Oh, so bad.

I just want to die right here.

Understands me?

Do my life real? I don't know about y'all. Everything I do is an event.

Snob, Monica, and me. When it comes to my honeys in the strip club, something

on dubs in the middle of the block like war.

Say my name. When you see me with the crispy fade, iced it out, glowing when

the light comes out, yo, say my name. When you see a Bentley or Ferrari, your

mom's ride, it's probably me. Say my name. When you hear the song bump in the

club, when you chilling on the corner with your thug, say my name.

I make it hot and take your block. Who they want to be and hate they not? Yo,

say my name. When your girl don't call you when you beep, but you hit it and

her thing feel deeper, say my name.

Pulling her hair, spanking her ribs while I'm in a minum. All I want to hear

is you say my name. Squeeze, squeeze, my speed is done. Please come, come. You

know the game. Don't say my name.

Dip down, praise.

Tim's chicken break.

QB, do three. When it comes to club, Pat.

When it comes to my

honeys in the strip club, something on

dubs in the middle of the block like what? Say my name.

out chrome stuck out in traffic when it comes to a net full of glow and a check

full of o's you know when it comes to my honeys in the strip club something on

dubs in the middle of the block like what say my name when you see a black do

rag through the tin of a black bit going too fast say my name when you talk about

longevity and they know how to keep getting that cash say my name when you

sick of your song sitting on the ring want to know what the stop feel like Say

my name. She want to know what being hot feel like. Yeah, shutting down a spot

feel like. Say my name.

JD from the home where the bulls get thrown and the dough gets gone real

quick. Like, like, sick like 40 carrots in a chain.

Foolish, ain't it? Say my name. Everything you did, I done did double.

If you hate to see flash, your ass is in trouble.

Scram now and don't look back. Because until I die, it's like that. When it

comes to the club, packed, crystal flowing, flowing.

When it comes to my honeys in the strip club, something on dubs in the middle of

the block like what?

Say my name.

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