Original subtitles

Much like trying on jeans, college is all about finding where you fit in. But

not in a clicky, mean girls kind of way. More in a figuring out what feels good

kind of way. But also like trying on the right pair of jeans, finding where you

fit in college can be a painful process.

It's giving moose knuckle.

That thang do be thangin', though. I'm lucky to have found my fit in a lot of

different places.

With my living situation.

You used up all the hot water.

With talent management.

I commissioned this piece for the frat from my little bank's yacht, The Squid.

I think it's a commentary on the inevitable calamity of society.

With my gamma brother turned business partner, Brock.

We're still working on it, but we're growing to trust and respect each other.

He'd be playing too much.

And, of course, with my ride-or-die friend group.

My first national campaign, and there's even going to be billboards.

Yes. It may be too cool to be seen with you guys now.

And too humble.

But sometimes you want to fit as friends, then lovers, then back to

friends, then to three-way lovers until you're... I don't know what.

And even though you say things are Gucci for the good of the friend group, the

fit still feels a little... eh... weird.

I reckon this campus ain't big enough for the three of us.

I mean, physically, it is, but metaphorically, it's gonna be

mighty tight.

It's Andre.

Hello. Did you hear what Kiela said?

What? No. Have you been practicing your daily stretches for the dance that's on

tonight? I'm not about to have a partner with tight hamstrings.

Oh, yes, of course. My hammies are loose, and I'm ready to shake my

caboose. Yeah, right.

Flexibility has never really been your strong suit.

I was actually voted most limber in high school. Thank you. Oh, my gosh. I was

voted stiffest.

Because of my scoliosis.

Trust, I am coming correct. The Cal U Gamma Dance-a-thon is one of the biggest

events of the year. Yeah, and nothing gets your girl going like bragging

rights. Well, you know, except civil rights and reproductive rights.

Well, my partner tore the killings playing basketball.

Now we're just going to watch Step Up 2 and probably do hand stuff.

Who's your partner, Annika? Well, I held a campus-wide charity competition on my

IG Live, and the winner gets to be my dance partner tonight. Can everyone stop

bragging about going to the dance-a-thon? Some of us can't go

because we have a mandatory family dinner.

Well, a mandatory family dinner also sounds like it could be fun.

Oh, my God. Girl.

What?

I hope your partner isn't a creeper.

Wow, I thought things would still be weird, but maybe everything's Gucci

after all.

Douglas, come bearing gifts.

And that gift is me finally closing my bar tab. Yeah? Oh, yeah.

I'll believe it when I see it. You know, now that your boy's a big shot

professor, I've been using Chime to take charge of my finances.

Yeah? Working on grades. Speaking of big shots, you remember this critic that

came through a while ago when I single-handedly saved you and Andre's

friendship? Yes, I do remember. The review came out today?

Damn. Sorry, what, he went in on the bar?

No. It was, uh, complimentary, actually. Glowing, even.

Okay, so why aren't we taking shots?

Because for one, it's 10 a.m., and two, he gave all of the credit to Ray. I

mean, the whole thing was Doug Less.

Damn. Sucks, dude.

I don't know. I guess we're both licking our wounds. Me with this dumb review,

and you with the whole E.D. situation should break up. No, no, no, no, no, no,

my friend. I... My wounds are licked free. I'm chilling. Oh, you sure about

that? Yeah. You know, denial isn't just a river in Egypt.

Denial.

I don't know her.

But what I do know is that this review is going to be in your rearview,

partner. Why? Because tonight we're going to be dancing until we're the last

ones standing.

Oh, we're going to the Cal U Dance-a-thon. Let me hear you say it.

Cal U Dance-a-thon. One more time. Come on, Cal U Dance-a-thon.

This is our year. Woo!

Yeah, trophy time for Team Darren.

And since Gamma alumni are allowed to enter, this is our chance to harpoon the

white whale. No, you know, we almost had it in 2019 if I didn't get that DQ for

trying to tie my shoe. But you know, that's why tonight we're going to go

laceless.

We're also going to go roofless.

Yeah.

How you dance. Everybody, come on. How you dance. Let me hear you say it. How

you dance. As the rest of us were getting ready to burn up the dance

floor, Zara was getting ready for a tame evening with her family.

Salaam, family.

Why does everyone look like they just ate Jamila Aunty's most of the

casserole? You might want to look down.

How did you find that?

Jamila auntie sent it to our group text.

There's a whole billboard over the store where she buys us the most casserole

slices. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Jamila auntie just dropped a 38th in the auntie

rankings.

Ooh, competition is stiff this year, so we might have to take matters into our

own hands. I like where your head's at. Yeah, I've been working on this, like,

leg sweep. It's subtle, but I told you that jujitsu's finally coming in handy.

Ooh.

Ooh, baby, you can't get my heart right.

Kiki, how you doing?

Kiki? Are we doing nicknames now?

Well, I mean, yeah, it's less syllables, more energy to cut a rug.

It's kind of tactical.

Okay. Okay, yeah, I can get down with that.

Andy?

No,

that's not.

Fuck you.

I cannot believe that I am here with the host of Social Submarine. I can't

believe that I'm here with the Jermaine.

Sorry, I mean, see, Gerald.

Girl, you can call me Chaka Khan for all I care. I am just happy to be here.

Now, I do know the entire single lady's choreography front to back.

If some kind of dance-off situation occurs.

Okay, so not a Beyonce fan.

Ladies and gentlemen, the rules of the Cal U Gamma dance are simple.

Whichever couple dances the longest...

When? Now you can switch up partners as the night goes on, but you must keep

dancing and you must be coupled up.

Capisce? Alright then, let's get this party started.

Is Andre in tequila?

Am I in tequila?

The group recovers from threesome gate. Of course I'm getting the hots for

Kiela. But, I mean, who wouldn't? She's beautiful. She's smart.

We clearly have physical chemistry. It's just... I think I'm feeling... I don't

know. I'm feeling romantical.

I gotta go talk to my brothers.

You okay? You seem distracted.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm great. I just... I realized I gotta go talk to No

-Shirt Nick.

Shall we sashay that away?

What'd it do you two?

Mind if I steal my bestie Kiela for a quick chat?

Here, Andre, take George.

Good idea. Yeah, I was just about to go throw down with the gammas. You know,

man to man, no girls allowed.

Uh, this isn't stated in the IG competition fine print.

Right, right.

Okay.

Let's go this way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep dancing.

Fellas, I think we got a problem.

What's that?

I think I like like Kiela. Oh, damn. Of course you like a girl who lets you

smash her and your ex at the same time. No, no, no, bro. We were dancing

earlier, and I put my hand on her lower back, and then my heart started to just

go ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum. So how do I go from boy to boyfriend?

With a Y. Well, cut to the right place, my brother.

First, call the eldest living male member of her clan. Then you ask for her

hand, like on Game of Thrones.

Medieval classy style.

What? No.

What you got to do is you got to let her know you are upstanding gentlemen, you

know? You got cufflinks, right?

You know, bitches love cufflinks.

Cufflinks? You don't even got any cufflinks.

Foolishness. How on earth did you get a queen like Annika?

Well, I was patient, and I waited for the right moment to make a move, I

guess. Well, then do that.

Stay away from these clowns.

So girly.

I noticed you and Andre getting cozy on the dance floor, and I wanted to get the

inside scoop.

Everyone's been talking about it. You guys look so cute together, don't you

think? Oh, well, I don't know. Oh, so you don't think you look good together?

Well, no, I'm not saying that. It's just that I... Oh, so you agree. You do think

you look cute together.

Look, nothing's going on between Andre and I, okay? We're just two good old

friends having a good old time at a good old dance club.

A friend got me into modeling, and at first it was kind of silly, but then it

turns out I'm actually kind of good at it. Well, of course you're good at it.

You've got my cheekbones and your father's strong jaw. That's not the

point. The point is, we sent you to school to learn to practice medicine,

not to swerve look.

It's serve look, Mummy G.

It's just a thing that I do to make some extra money and wear cool clothes.

See? Nothing to worry about.

Gareth is still focusing on her studies and going to be a doctor.

Baba, I am not going to be a model or a doctor, actually.

Come again, baby?

Daddy-ji, mummy-ji, I don't want to study medicine anymore.

Zara, my father didn't bring us to this country on a fishing boat for his

granddaughter not to be a doctor.

Well, one of his granddaughters is technically still going to be a doctor.

Anyway...

Look, I'm really sorry. The last thing that I want to do is disappoint you.

I'm still trying to figure out what the right career is for me. And I'm a lot

happier trying to figure it out than I was doing pre-med.

And with my modeling income, I'm going to pay for the rest of my education.

The rest of your education?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You will be paying a sack for your entire tuition,

Miss Indy Crawford.

Wait, what? Just checking in on my handsome, happy family over here. Apps,

maybe? Read the room, Asher.

Wow, it's like I blinked and there were no more couples left.

All right, partners.

Pairs. Platonic pairs.

Totally, totally.

Hey, if we do win, who gets to keep the trophy?

I guess we have to come up with some sort of trophy custody schedule with the

notary? Oh, well, I'm going to get the weekends and Labor Days, obviously.

Obviously.

My God, this is my favorite song to twerk to.

You wouldn't mind, Kayla, would you?

Oh, no. Yeah, no, not at all.

Well, this is just like, you know, just two friends twerking together. Just like

brother and sister. Just nothing gross.

Thank you, General.

Stop dancing.

Damn. Kiki, I'm sorry.

Kiki? Okay, I'm going to DQ myself. We went together, lose together, right,

platonic partner?

How about a partner switcher? What do you guys think? Huh?

I'm sorry, I don't know your name. Do you even go to this school?

Do you, old man?

He's not that old.

He just wears old man cardigans sometimes.

That was mean to say. Come on.

So,

Walter Tango, brother.

Walt.

Okay, be honest. Did I see you twerking on your ex?

I'm not trying to get back with Andre, are you? Didn't you break up with him?

Kiel is clearly into him. She just won't admit it.

And she's my friend.

So seeing them all lovey-dovey, it just makes me feel some kind of way.

I don't like it.

Yeah, no, I get it. I get it. It's never easy seeing your ex vibing with someone

else.

Especially when some people make it look easy and then you start to question all

your life choices.

And then you break up with the finest piece of chocolate with the PhD you've

ever seen. Do you need me for this?

I guess what I'm trying to say is...

You let Andre go for a reason, right?

So you got to let go of caring about whoever he ends up with, even if it's

Kiela. Because you, Annika, are a boss.

You're famous.

You're hosting your social shipment container show.

Social submarine.

Same thing.

But I hear you.

You're right. I'm too booked and busy to be spending any more time on this. There

you go. Thank you, Professor Jackson. You're very, very welcome. Now, I'm

sorry I have to do this, but it's all fair in love and dance. You know what I

mean?

Double disqualification!

Aaron and Doug are winners!

You're the one beneath my wings, buddy.

Mama, we made it!

The Cal U Gamma Chapter is proud to

present the 2024 Dance-A-Thon Mirrorball Trophy to Professor Aaron Jackson and

Gamma alum, Dean Nasty Edwards.

I just want to say this real quick.

Shout out to all my haters. And shout out to my biggest inspiration, Alfonso

Ribeiro. He told me to never stop dancing. Stay sucker free. And we are

Ancestors' greatest dreams.

It's for you, Pop Pop.

Well,

yeah.

Doug pretty much said it all.

Ancestors never stop dancing. And Alfonso's a hater.

There's that. Thank you, guys.

Okay.

Yeah.

What now?

Hoping to flip some true serum in my drink to get me to admit that Andre's my

twin flame?

Okay, okay.

Maybe I went a little bit too far tonight, but I'm sorry that I got you

and Andre kicked out of the competition.

It's got caught up.

But I'm done hounding you.

No more.

Yeah, right. You made the McCarthy era look like light work tonight.

Okay, Jeopardy.

But I'm serious.

Like him, don't like him. I don't care.

I cut him loose.

Okay, but in like a you're still secretly going to be mad kind of way?

No, like in a do you because I'm damn sure you're going to do me kind of way.

Thanks, Annika. Oh, don't thank me yet.

I gave Gerald your number instead of mine, so get ready for a lot of text

messages about what kind of deodorant I used.

I thought that would feel better.

Sophia, if you dropped your key down the storm drain again, I am going to kill

you.

I told you. Yeah, Mom and Dad are going to be pissed because it really takes a

rocket scientist or a foot doctor to figure that one out.

Um, actually, I was going to say I told you to stay away from storm drains.

They're the third leading cause of phalange fractures.

Equally unhelpful, Nova.

At least the weight of telling them is off your shoulders.

Yes, I'm feeling footloose and fancy free.

And you've got to be making good money if you're on the billboard above Jimmy

Lanty's grocery store.

Jamie Lee Curtis was up there last month.

It's not about the money. I can figure that part out.

They just look so disappointed in me.

Like they don't even know who I am anymore.

They don't understand it yet, but they will.

Just like I do now.

And in the meantime, I'm here for you.

If you tell Mom I said this, I'll deny it, but she sent some purse ad that you

did to the auntie group chat after dinner.

Really? Mm-hmm.

Oh, the cow you danced on.

Yeah, the cow you danced on.

You're killing my vibe, man. We finally caught the white whale we've been

chasing for over five years.

Looks like you just ate a bad grape.

I'm sorry, man.

Maybe I'm just one of those people who can't be happy.

Won this competition after years of trying and nothing.

I had the perfect woman on paper with Edie, and that didn't feel right.

Got the job I always wanted, and it's cool.

But something's missing.

Oh.

What do you think it is?

Wish I knew.

Maybe you were looking out at the crowd, wishing like someone was there.

Maybe someone like Zoe.

Maybe.

Can't lie, I've not been able to get her out of my mind.

Yeah.

I have to get her back.

You know what? I'm kind of glad we got eliminated because figuring out a

custody schedule for the trophy would have been way too hard anyway.

Yeah, it would have been difficult.

I mean, even though we didn't win, I still feel like we made a pretty good

team.

Oh, you know what? That actually reminds me.

I was talking to Annika earlier, and she was telling me how she thinks we got

big. kind of look cute together.

I don't know. It's silly though, huh?

I don't know. Is it?

Are you Andre Johnson?

Yeah.

Oh, my God. Um, what's going on?

I'm Officer McCord. We need to bring you in for questioning regarding your

connection to the Brock Thompson fraud case.

Wait, Brock's been arrested?

Uh, there has to be a mistake. We're the LAPD, little lady.

We don't make mistakes.

Well, getting cock-blocked by cops is new.