Original subtitles

Every act of creation begins with an act of destruction.

Pablo Picasso, baby.

After my semester of studying great minds and entrepreneurs alike, I've

picked up some great business lessons, but also some great life ones.

I'm proud of you, Junior.

Likeness, rights, and perpetuity. No, no, no. Whose day do I have to ruin?

Well, anyone didn't just confirm Anderson-Pack and the Free Nationals at

Bar Nun's school year kickoff party.

Now I'm racking up wins like Nitro-era Goldberg.

A successful businessman whose most powerful quote, who's next, is also my

managerial motto.

That is your fifth pomplamoose.

If you stay here, you need to kick in.

Sorry, Sophia.

Don't be sorry.

Be better.

Admittedly, I have sort of fumbled the bag on the living situation.

Where are you living? In my house, rent-free, right? Here's an adult

decision for you.

I'm out.

So about our holiday potluck palooza. Don't you dare. Do you know how hard it

is to line up the holiday schedules of an influencer, an East Coaster, two

locals, and a Lauren?

I had every intention of going, but I booked a gig in San Diego.

I didn't know there was a booming fashion industry in San Diego. Well, I'm

not staying in town for Mom and Dad's very special marriage-saving holiday.

Then come to New York. Sure, there's going to be Luca's rants about the

gentrification of Christmas trees, but we also have a place in Doho.

You don't have to go to New York.

He live streams those rants. It's a no for me. I'm really excited to go to San

Diego and be the smartest person in the city.

Guess who got invited to host the spinoff of Influencer Island?

Me. Oh my gosh.

If Goldberg's asking who's next, guess who's got two thumbs, calves that won't

quit, and a brand new client.

This guy.

Oh my God.

I'm so proud of you.

Watch out.

something new every time i don't know so i'm gonna feel my way but

no regrets

her dominance on social media, on land, air, and now sea!

Yeah!

Woo!

To my girl, from influencer on influencer island to the host of Social

Submarine. Oh, my God. It's officially official.

Aw, baby's first deal memo as a host and not contestant trash.

Okay, less than I thought, but I'm just excited for this opportunity.

Uh, do you mind if I peruse your contract?

Sure. You probably understand more than I do. Yeah, let me take a look.

Ooh.

Boo Bear, you need to get paid more.

It's fine.

I don't want to lose this opportunity being greedy.

I need to negotiate this for you.

Awkward.

No, I go to school for this, and I know how to bend an ear without breaking the

bank. Besides, you don't see Zada complaining about me helping to, uh,

secure her the bag, right?

So.

Okay.

You know what?

Why not?

Do your thing, baby.

Ooh, baby. I love that.

Yeah, 911?

It's getting gross.

Oh.

Now, don't move.

I want to try something unconventional.

Okay, cool. Yeah, no, I like unconventional. Unconventional is good.

Oh! Oh, my God.

No good, right?

No, it's the opposite of good. It's unthinkable. I think that you broke.

My penis. Don't look at it! What?

Just close your eyes!

What?

Hey, babe.

Let's go over your counter offer.

Okay, so first off, first class.

You are the star of Social Submarine, and you should be treated as such.

Also, check out my counter for your salary.

You think you can get me that much?

That would pay my tuition.

Well, then call me the Andre Johnson Scholarship, because that is what I will

get you, and that is what you are worth.

I have to say, I was a little worried about mixing personal and business, but

you actually know what you're doing.

Wow. You really took the scenic route with that compliment.

Just want to say thank you for keeping me company.

The least I could do.

Yeah.

I thought we were doing, like, a reverse counter. Stop, please.

Please just stop, okay? Because when you talk about it, I think about it. When I

think about it, it hurts. Where is he?

Oh, God.

I thought they were pointing me toward the morgue. No, Doug. It's much worse

than the morgue. Okay, well, you didn't show up for class, and I'm your

emergency contact.

Edie?

I shattered your man's man.

I guess I didn't know my own power.

Wait. Are you saying did you... to him?

This is the x-ray they were talking about at the nurse's station.

What were they saying at the nurse's station? Will I be able to walk again?

Will I have to become a priest? Just keep it straight for me, okay? I can

handle it.

I won't keep it. Where are you texting?

I'm getting a TA to cover my lecture. Do we know how long this is going to be?

Not as long as it was.

Is this funny?

Uh-uh. Look at me.

No, look.

Go ahead.

Taylor,

are you ready? What time is it?

Game time. What time?

Yeah, you're right. Okay.

Hey, Taylor.

So, I reviewed your counter, and this is where we're at. We can make the hotel

work instead of the rental.

And we'll agree to first-class travel on a non-precedential basis, of course.

Are you not entertained?

Finally, regarding compensation, we don't have room in the budget. But we

love Annika, and things should be amazing.

We have a deal?

Take it.

I think we have a... I can

get more. She is trying to play me, but what she's about to learn is that Andre

Johnson ain't no Game Boy.

Ah, Taylor.

My client won't take one cent less than our counter. If you can't get there,

then you don't get her. Bye now.

And that's how it's done.

What the...

You just ignored me and cost me my dream job.

What were you thinking?

Oh.

She's no longer entertained.

What happened to bending the ear without breaking the bank?

I literally watched you break the ear off and burn the whole bank down.

If you want big money, you have to take big swings.

That is the business of business.

And like my parents used to say, chillax.

Chillax? Yeah.

Oh, my God.

I cannot believe it.

Are we interrupting something?

You know, I've seen enough arguments between my parents that I know exactly

what's up.

We just saved Andre's life.

No, no. The only thing that is being saved is Annika's deal. Now, if you'll

excuse me, I'm going to go for a walk and wait for Taylor to call me back.

Which she will.

Anika, why are you breathing through your eyes? My manager went rogue.

I think I messed up by mixing business with pleasure.

I mean, you did trust him to make the deal, so maybe you should try to just

relax.

Get out.

Okay.

Okay,

maybe I could have listened to her better, right? But I was on a

negotiation high. I needed to follow my instincts.

If she thinks you owe her an apology, you need to give it to her.

I don't want to. Why you ask for advice if you're not going to take it? I just

feel like people shouldn't apologize unless they mean it. My daddy been

apologizing for all type of stuff he ain't even do.

We've been married for 36 years.

He mostly had me, too.

You think?

I know.

Look, bring her to the dugout. I'll provide the incredible vibes. You

provide her with the apology that she needs to hear.

You gonna hook me up with some free food?

No. Yeah, I know you and Aaron beefing, but we ain't free shit close.

Okay. See you soon.

Bye.

Hey, what's up?

Sorry about missing the potluck again, but San Diego calls.

You would think you could pack light when you're just going to San Diego for

a gig, but, like, I have so many fun clothes that I want to wear, but I never

get to wear, but I will wear in San Diego, so... Why don't you just admit

you're gonna go see Drea?

I know it's a bad idea, but she was just so sweet when she asked me.

It's cool.

You don't need to explain yourself to me. If you want to go see Drea, just go.

We're all here trying to figure things out, and sometimes you have to

experience firsthand if something is or isn't for you.

Okay, yeah, I think I should do it.

Just slide it right under there.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

My God.

I'm 26 years old, and I'm sitting on a dong donut.

You know? Just killing the game, Jackson.

This sucks.

Because you're going to be out there in them streets while I'm sitting here with

my business looking like a soggy curly fry. OK.

Since I am somewhat responsible for your predicament, I won't go on any dates

until you are back to a thick-cut potato wedge.

I'll even nurse you back to health.

Really? I find that amenable of you.

You might want to just not touch me like that and maybe talk to me in my dad's

voice. Just a deep gravel.

Listen, I know I screwed up.

So first thing tomorrow morning, I'm going to call Taylor. I'm going to beg

her to take the old deal.

I apologize, Monica.

Thank you, Andre.

I really appreciate that.

So we're good?

Yeah, we're good.

Okay, cool. So should we order?

What's dinner without the food, am I right?

I'm glad you own this.

I know I was on one, but what you did, it really got to me.

You do understand why this is such a big deal to me, right?

100p, 100p. But you know what I would love? I'd love a refill on this water.

Doug, yo, Doug, Doug.

Do you get why this bothered me or not?

OK, babe, I'm trying to be a manager now, OK? So I know that I have to be

more direct and I have to be more assertive. So as my client, I'm going to

be upfront with you. You're being a little extra about all this. Well, as my

boyfriend, why would you apologize if you didn't mean it? Because I know you

wanted me to.

And because I knew it would make you happy.

And if I'm being honest, I don't regret what I did with Taylor.

I feel like it was the right move to make in the moment.

Oh, this bullshit again.

You're just threatened by the fact that I'm a successful influencer while you're

just some broke entrepreneur.

Okay, wow. All right, well, with respect, you're more like a suggester.

Well, with respect, go to hell, Andre.

Annika, I...

Annika, you know I...

I

don't think she meant that with respect.

Hey.

Hey, what's with all the layers?

Gonna go play around the paintball?

Since you can't seem to handle these curves God gave me, I'm putting my light

under a bushel.

So you de-sexified yourself for me?

That is so sexy.

I brought lunch.

Belonged to me.

Boom.

Big thanks.

I'm cold.

Me too.

You got this.

No, I don't.

I'm going to marry into the Burger King monarchy. I'm going to kill the Chick

-fil-A cow because I can't screw or marry a cow. That's illegal.

And I think I'd screw Ronald McDonald because he gives back.

That's a plug.

We answered exactly the same.

One more, one more, one more. This one's it.

Are you okay?

I'm just kidding.

Thank you for putting the target sign on the toilet. 100% accuracy.

I should

get going.

Yeah? Really?

Okay. Hey, the campus theater is showing Apocalypse Now, extended redux. They say

it's longer than an actual flight to Vietnam.

So I was thinking maybe we could catch that.

Well, that sounds fun. I mean, not fun, but let's do it. I'll text you. All

right, cool. Okay.

Let me get that.

Have a good night.

You're gonna need something stronger than beer.

This one's on the house.

Well, if that's okay, you can get that shit you need the ladder for. Because

this is your fault. My fault? Yeah.

When I told you to fake apologize to her, you weren't supposed to tell her

you were fake apologizing.

What's wrong with you? I couldn't keep lying.

If anything, I should be commended for telling the truth.

Look, bro, have you ever considered that she has a point and you were wrong?

I don't know.

I guess.

Maybe.

Or maybe I was right the whole time. Taylor just emailed me and she said that

she agrees with the terms.

Wow. If I had a mic,

I would drop it.

Hey.

What do you want?

I know we've been radio silent lately, but I've got something to show you.

Is it an apology email?

Better. Much better.

So the social submarine gig.

Taylor emailed me back, and they will be able to meet my demands on your pay.

I will skip the part where I say I told you so, because that doesn't matter.

All that matters is that you got the gig, and I won the negotiation.

This is about so much more than the job.

It's about the fact that you don't listen to me.

What?

I do listen to you. Oh, my God. This is about everything.

You didn't trust me with Drea. You prioritize everyone else's needs over

mine. And you hear what you want to hear, never what I say.

Well, I do hear what you say, but I also hear what you don't say. And clearly you

just don't believe in me.

What are we doing?

Clearly something between us is broken.

We fix it.

I don't know if I want to.

I mean, do you?

So, after all the things that we've been through, shall we break up?

It's all the things we've been through that got us here.

I'm sorry, Andre.

Why are you firing up a documentary on the Civil War?

Shouldn't you be getting ready for your very joyous Christmas?

I decided not to go.

You were right. If I felt the need to lie about it, it's a red flag and it's

on fire.

I guess I'll just stay here with the foreign kids and the orphan.

No. Okay. No way. You are spending the holidays with me. Really?

Is your family going to be okay with that?

Yeah, they'd love to have you.

But I'm just going to let you know my uncle's, like, really curious about

lesbians, so he will be asking you a lot of questions.

That's just like my uncle.

Okay, I'm going to go pack, and I will be sure to leave my Berks and my L&Ts at

home. Okay.

Oh, hey.

Hey.

You okay?

I'm all right.

Sure. Yeah, because I'm a guy, and I don't have, like, any emotion.

Okay, you want me to tell the truth?

I'm not doing great. I used to complain to Aaron about Annika and complain to

Annika about Aaron. Now I have no one to complain about anything.

I know I messed up. I just... I thought I was doing what was best for Annika.

It just sucks.

I'm sorry.

I know you really liked her.

She was kind of... She was kind of right about us. We just...

Didn't fit together.

She didn't trust or believe in me to handle her negotiations.

I can't be with someone who doesn't believe in me. Well, um, now I believe

in you.

Hey, yeah, so, um, you know, I know we're not having, like, the potluck

anymore, but I do make, like, a mean mac and cheese, so... Mm, okay, no shade,

but if the cheese comes in powdered form, then it's just mac and cheese

product at best.

Okay, you hungry or not?

I could eat.

It's never easy when something ends.

And in the chaos of it ending, you look for comfort wherever you can find it.

Even if that means highly processed food.

You know, between chat GPT and automated bidets, this feels like the end times.

Yeah, speaking of end times, I was supposed to see Apocalypse Now with

Edie, but I haven't heard from her.

Play it cool.

Even if you are thirsty, you act quenched.

I didn't think we were in, like, a playing games type situation, you know

what I mean? I think I'm just gonna hit her. Yeah, just hit her.

Yeah, I'll do that.

Bro? What?

Look.

Oh.

It's gotta be your brother, right?

Maybe your stepbrother?

We want to see if they serve our politics.

Yeah, yeah.