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1
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"Will & Grace" is recorded
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in front of a live studio audience.
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00:00:04,878 --> 00:00:06,873
Where's NBC on your TV?
4
00:00:06,896 --> 00:00:10,072
In Schenectady, it's
13, where it should be.
5
00:00:10,095 --> 00:00:12,072
Martin, in New York, NBC's channel 4.
6
00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:13,649
That's stupid.
7
00:00:14,299 --> 00:00:16,226
I'm going to kill you for
asking him to stay with us.
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00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:17,882
Oh, he can't hear us.
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00:00:17,905 --> 00:00:20,151
I promise you, he's in a TV trance.
10
00:00:20,174 --> 00:00:21,189
He's your father.
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00:00:21,213 --> 00:00:22,843
Think of it as an opportunity to connect.
12
00:00:22,866 --> 00:00:25,191
Gosh... I never thought of it that way.
13
00:00:25,214 --> 00:00:26,576
It is an opportunity.
14
00:00:26,599 --> 00:00:28,231
I really should be thanking you
15
00:00:28,254 --> 00:00:31,655
for inviting Master Sits
and Farts into our home.
16
00:00:31,678 --> 00:00:34,770
You're being sarcastic,
but I think I did a good thing.
17
00:00:34,793 --> 00:00:37,078
You did. I just wish there was some way
18
00:00:37,101 --> 00:00:38,524
that I could do a good thing for you.
19
00:00:38,525 --> 00:00:40,580
Oh, wait, there is.
20
00:00:40,603 --> 00:00:42,350
I forgot.
21
00:00:42,373 --> 00:00:43,580
What is this?
22
00:00:43,603 --> 00:00:46,812
I believe it's opportunity knocking.
23
00:00:46,835 --> 00:00:48,544
Mom!
24
00:00:48,567 --> 00:00:51,352
Oh...
25
00:00:51,375 --> 00:00:54,044
Oh, hello, darling.
26
00:00:54,067 --> 00:00:55,853
Hi, Grace.
27
00:00:55,876 --> 00:00:59,700
Oh, hello, Martin. I
didn't know you were here.
28
00:00:59,723 --> 00:01:01,123
Oh, this is gonna be fun.
29
00:01:01,146 --> 00:01:04,009
Okay, babies, say hello to your brother.
30
00:01:04,032 --> 00:01:06,741
- Oh!
- You're welcome.
31
00:01:20,767 --> 00:01:23,784
Well, I went for a jog through the park,
32
00:01:23,807 --> 00:01:26,499
took in a very disappointing
matinee of "Kinky Boots."
33
00:01:28,232 --> 00:01:30,016
My point is, I've given you
some time to think.
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00:01:30,039 --> 00:01:32,517
Is it Stan or me?
35
00:01:32,540 --> 00:01:34,055
I've made my decision.
36
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I'm keeping things exactly the same.
37
00:01:37,079 --> 00:01:38,442
Karen, I can't go on like this.
38
00:01:38,465 --> 00:01:40,133
I'm tired of being your side-piece,
39
00:01:40,157 --> 00:01:42,927
your goomad, your down-low ho.
40
00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:47,866
I'm not the blistered cherry tomatoes.
41
00:01:47,889 --> 00:01:49,983
I'm the branzino, damn it!
42
00:01:50,006 --> 00:01:51,676
Okay, okay...
43
00:01:51,699 --> 00:01:54,484
I say... we stay out of it
44
00:01:54,507 --> 00:01:58,777
and let Lord Hung Donkey and
Lady Snatcherly work it out.
45
00:02:01,086 --> 00:02:04,332
Until you choose me, I'm withholding sex.
46
00:02:04,355 --> 00:02:05,782
Huh...
47
00:02:05,805 --> 00:02:07,281
Are you sure?
48
00:02:08,127 --> 00:02:10,050
Gah!
49
00:02:11,012 --> 00:02:12,643
I am.
50
00:02:14,397 --> 00:02:17,144
Are you?
51
00:02:22,091 --> 00:02:23,838
"Just get over it"?
52
00:02:23,861 --> 00:02:26,684
That's your advice, Mother?
Just get over it?
53
00:02:26,707 --> 00:02:28,224
I loved Drew!
54
00:02:28,247 --> 00:02:30,378
If you had any understanding
of the human heart,
55
00:02:30,401 --> 00:02:32,032
or Bieber and Selena,
56
00:02:32,055 --> 00:02:36,264
you'd know that people don't
just get over people, Judith!
57
00:02:40,788 --> 00:02:43,536
Why do you think I'm in Ibiza?
58
00:02:43,559 --> 00:02:46,383
I had to fly halfway across the wor...
59
00:02:46,406 --> 00:02:48,999
You know, I can see that
radish parked in your cheek.
60
00:02:49,022 --> 00:02:52,730
Either chew it, swallow
it, or spit it out.
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00:02:52,753 --> 00:02:55,039
My heart is shattered.
Do you understand, Mother?
62
00:02:55,062 --> 00:02:57,001
It's shatter...
63
00:02:57,024 --> 00:02:57,985
"Jello."
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00:03:00,333 --> 00:03:01,617
I'm never gonna find love.
65
00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:03,887
I will be alone
for the rest of my enti...
66
00:03:07,143 --> 00:03:08,273
I gotta go, Mom. Bye.
67
00:03:08,296 --> 00:03:10,311
Is this chaise lounge taken?
68
00:03:10,334 --> 00:03:12,890
Are you?
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00:03:17,057 --> 00:03:18,380
His name is...
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00:03:18,405 --> 00:03:19,957
No, Mom, you can't say the name.
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00:03:19,981 --> 00:03:21,458
I'm not gonna say his name.
72
00:03:21,481 --> 00:03:23,036
- Uh, he was "The Godfather"...
- Mm.
73
00:03:23,059 --> 00:03:26,152
But not Marlon Brando.
The other one, Al Pacino.
74
00:03:26,175 --> 00:03:27,730
- Al Pacino!
- Yes!
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00:03:27,753 --> 00:03:30,307
Oh, you're so good at this. Next one.
76
00:03:30,331 --> 00:03:33,654
Oh..."Shey, Shweetheart.
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00:03:33,677 --> 00:03:36,001
It's me, Humphrey Bogart."
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00:03:36,024 --> 00:03:37,578
- Humphrey Bogart!
- Yes!
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00:03:37,601 --> 00:03:39,232
- Oh, you're wonderful.
- I love this game.
80
00:03:39,255 --> 00:03:41,964
Time... to stick my head in the oven.
81
00:03:41,987 --> 00:03:43,079
Kitchen.
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00:03:43,102 --> 00:03:45,465
- Mom, another?
- Oh, no, I shouldn't.
83
00:03:45,488 --> 00:03:48,004
- But you will?
- Don't make me ask.
84
00:03:48,027 --> 00:03:49,466
Anything, Dad?
85
00:03:49,489 --> 00:03:50,774
Uh, no, I don't wanna
be "pishing" all night.
86
00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:52,967
"Pishing"? That's a funny word.
87
00:03:52,990 --> 00:03:55,891
It's not so funny
at 2:00 in the morning...
88
00:03:55,914 --> 00:03:59,046
or 4:00 or 6:00 or 6:30.
89
00:03:59,069 --> 00:04:02,508
Oh, Martin, I don't
think I "pish" enough.
90
00:04:02,531 --> 00:04:04,201
It is amazing
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00:04:04,224 --> 00:04:07,201
how your mother doesn't
listen to a word you say.
92
00:04:07,225 --> 00:04:09,856
I'm surprised your father
hasn't gone on "Shark Tank"
93
00:04:09,879 --> 00:04:12,241
to patent his signature burp-and-blow.
94
00:04:13,688 --> 00:04:17,551
He has esophageal hysteria, you monster.
95
00:04:17,574 --> 00:04:19,898
And they're not even gonna
give us grandchildren.
96
00:04:19,921 --> 00:04:21,052
Did we do something wrong?
97
00:04:21,075 --> 00:04:23,745
- Ha! Possibly.
- Yeah.
98
00:04:23,768 --> 00:04:25,476
You know, I miss having someone
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00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:27,438
to complain about my children with.
100
00:04:27,461 --> 00:04:29,784
Oh, I miss it too.
101
00:04:29,807 --> 00:04:31,786
I talk to the beagles,
but they don't know.
102
00:04:31,809 --> 00:04:33,862
They don't have children.
103
00:04:33,885 --> 00:04:36,249
That's funny, Marilyn.
104
00:04:36,272 --> 00:04:38,018
Really? Oh, thank you.
105
00:04:38,041 --> 00:04:42,250
You know, George always said
I was only funny by accident.
106
00:04:42,273 --> 00:04:44,596
- Mom?
- Oh, another?
107
00:04:44,619 --> 00:04:47,751
Oh, I shouldn't really,
but you made it, so...
108
00:04:50,006 --> 00:04:52,406
Uh, kids, we were wondering,
109
00:04:52,429 --> 00:04:55,368
what did we do wrong?
110
00:04:55,391 --> 00:04:56,868
Wait, what... what do you mean?
111
00:04:56,892 --> 00:04:58,677
Ah, you two, you're so enmeshed.
112
00:04:58,700 --> 00:05:00,524
You're not married,
you're not dating anyone.
113
00:05:00,547 --> 00:05:02,755
Yeah, I mean,
it's practically incestuous.
114
00:05:02,778 --> 00:05:04,640
Well, I'd agree with that,
except that we're not related
115
00:05:04,663 --> 00:05:05,910
and we don't have sex.
116
00:05:05,933 --> 00:05:08,680
Oh, you... you know what she means.
117
00:05:08,703 --> 00:05:10,757
You live together, you work together.
118
00:05:10,780 --> 00:05:14,104
You work together?
Did... did you quit the firm?
119
00:05:14,127 --> 00:05:16,144
- Oh, you didn't tell me that.
- I did,
120
00:05:16,167 --> 00:05:17,682
the day before I left, the day I left,
121
00:05:17,705 --> 00:05:19,836
- the day after I left.
- William, you did not tell me!
122
00:05:19,859 --> 00:05:21,491
I did! You just don't listen.
123
00:05:21,514 --> 00:05:24,337
- You've never listened to me.
- Will, it's your mother.
124
00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:26,900
Show a little...
125
00:05:29,477 --> 00:05:31,070
Show a little respect!
126
00:05:31,093 --> 00:05:32,840
God, Dad!
127
00:05:32,863 --> 00:05:35,341
You do realize that you're
doing that in front of people?
128
00:05:35,364 --> 00:05:39,134
- What can I do? I'm musical.
- Play something else!
129
00:05:40,057 --> 00:05:43,404
Grace, it's not feminine
to talk that loud...
130
00:05:47,175 --> 00:05:49,868
Or to use your arms to stand up.
131
00:05:51,098 --> 00:05:52,884
You know, I don't remember
you whispering at dinner,
132
00:05:52,907 --> 00:05:55,115
when you were going on
about Roger's butthole.
133
00:05:55,139 --> 00:05:57,847
You know what, I didn't
take the train into the city
134
00:05:57,870 --> 00:06:01,232
with my hip and my wrist to be insulted.
135
00:06:01,255 --> 00:06:03,002
Roger, Paprika,
136
00:06:03,025 --> 00:06:05,079
Dr. Silly, come.
137
00:06:05,102 --> 00:06:07,311
If you'll excuse us...
138
00:06:07,334 --> 00:06:08,811
You know what?
139
00:06:08,834 --> 00:06:10,850
That was not nice.
140
00:06:10,873 --> 00:06:11,966
That was rude.
141
00:06:11,989 --> 00:06:13,913
I'm gonna go check on your mother.
142
00:06:15,990 --> 00:06:18,737
I'd like to thank you again
for inviting my dad.
143
00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:21,893
My pleasure. And thank you
for inviting my mom.
144
00:06:21,916 --> 00:06:23,507
Yeah.
145
00:06:23,531 --> 00:06:25,816
I thought when I did it,
"Oh, that'll show him."
146
00:06:25,839 --> 00:06:28,663
- I forgot that I live here too.
- Mm.
147
00:06:45,768 --> 00:06:47,245
A "K."
148
00:06:47,268 --> 00:06:49,654
You really know how to romance a dame.
149
00:07:06,657 --> 00:07:07,905
Incredible.
150
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,520
You even remembered the silent "L."
151
00:07:10,543 --> 00:07:13,560
You're torturing me. Oh, I want you.
152
00:07:13,583 --> 00:07:15,830
- I want you too.
- Then touch me.
153
00:07:15,853 --> 00:07:17,061
No, you know the deal:
154
00:07:17,084 --> 00:07:18,583
no touching until you choose me, Karen.
155
00:07:18,584 --> 00:07:19,985
Well, if you're not gonna touch me,
156
00:07:20,008 --> 00:07:21,062
then I'm not going to touch you.
157
00:07:21,085 --> 00:07:22,601
- Fine with me.
- Me too.
158
00:07:22,624 --> 00:07:25,370
So, you're gonna be okay
if I never do this again?
159
00:07:25,393 --> 00:07:28,102
Ah... ho.
160
00:07:28,125 --> 00:07:30,680
Oh...
161
00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:37,528
Oh!
162
00:07:37,551 --> 00:07:38,758
Mmm!
163
00:07:38,781 --> 00:07:41,798
All right, and here is something
164
00:07:41,821 --> 00:07:45,361
I will not be doing to you.
165
00:07:51,632 --> 00:07:53,708
- Ha-ha!
- Oh, God!
166
00:07:56,171 --> 00:07:57,725
Here's something else
167
00:07:57,748 --> 00:08:00,188
I will no longer be doing to you.
168
00:08:00,211 --> 00:08:03,842
Ha-kah! Ah-ha!
169
00:08:03,865 --> 00:08:06,036
Ah! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
170
00:08:06,059 --> 00:08:07,767
Oh...
171
00:08:07,790 --> 00:08:10,636
So cold, and yet, so hot.
172
00:08:12,137 --> 00:08:14,191
Ooh?
173
00:08:14,214 --> 00:08:15,807
Ha-lah, ooh.
174
00:08:15,830 --> 00:08:18,923
Ooh, oh-oh-oh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
175
00:08:18,946 --> 00:08:20,193
- Oh?
- No, Karen...
176
00:08:20,216 --> 00:08:21,616
Mm.
177
00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:24,564
Karen, you know I don't like that.
178
00:08:26,448 --> 00:08:28,425
I was wrong!
179
00:08:28,449 --> 00:08:30,427
I love it, oh, Karen!
180
00:08:30,450 --> 00:08:31,580
- Oh, Malcolm!
- Oh, Karen!
181
00:08:31,603 --> 00:08:33,235
- Oh, Malcolm!
- Oh, Karen!
182
00:08:33,258 --> 00:08:38,145
Oh, Mal... Colm
183
00:08:44,769 --> 00:08:48,888
I'm back. Do I look different?
184
00:08:48,912 --> 00:08:51,312
You look like Batman's
least threatening nemesis,
185
00:08:51,335 --> 00:08:52,773
Gay Face.
186
00:08:52,796 --> 00:08:56,582
Aww, thanks, Catty Woman.
187
00:08:56,605 --> 00:08:57,890
I'm in love!
188
00:08:57,913 --> 00:09:00,045
His name is Estefan,
and he's a flight attendant.
189
00:09:00,068 --> 00:09:02,314
He served me warm nuts,
and then put me in the
190
00:09:02,337 --> 00:09:05,431
upright-and-locked position.
191
00:09:05,454 --> 00:09:07,337
Did I give you enough time
to prepare them for me?
192
00:09:07,339 --> 00:09:08,586
- He's here?
- Yes.
193
00:09:08,609 --> 00:09:10,163
Estefan, come in, come in, come in.
194
00:09:10,186 --> 00:09:12,856
Estefan, Will and Grace.
Will, Grace, Estefan.
195
00:09:12,879 --> 00:09:14,549
So, this is Will.
196
00:09:14,572 --> 00:09:18,072
Look at him with his square jaw
and his wild mane of red hair.
197
00:09:21,651 --> 00:09:24,589
What? No, I'm not... I'm not Will.
198
00:09:24,612 --> 00:09:26,167
I'm obviously a woman.
199
00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:29,245
Well, maybe you are not
the one to say what is obvious.
200
00:09:29,268 --> 00:09:31,515
He's got you there, Grace.
201
00:09:31,538 --> 00:09:33,054
Sir, could I get, like, a soft drink?
202
00:09:33,077 --> 00:09:34,362
Maybe something like a ginger ale?
203
00:09:34,385 --> 00:09:37,348
And please... leave the can.
204
00:09:40,041 --> 00:09:42,518
- I'll give it a look.
- You lied to me.
205
00:09:42,541 --> 00:09:44,441
No, no, no, I didn't lie.
206
00:09:44,464 --> 00:09:47,557
Will's not attractive.
207
00:09:47,580 --> 00:09:48,981
I have a diet ginger ale.
208
00:09:49,004 --> 00:09:50,981
Oh, then I'll just have fresh coffee.
209
00:09:51,004 --> 00:09:53,520
Will...
210
00:09:53,543 --> 00:09:55,906
I understand now, you're in great pain,
211
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:59,522
because "Yack" shares his bed
with me and not with you.
212
00:09:59,545 --> 00:10:03,123
Ah, I'd rather share my bed
with an actual yak.
213
00:10:04,201 --> 00:10:07,024
Please, let me finish.
I believe, in time,
214
00:10:07,047 --> 00:10:09,448
with my heart, we can find a connection,
215
00:10:09,471 --> 00:10:11,833
and we can build a great friendship.
216
00:10:11,856 --> 00:10:13,180
You both hate the idea of Meryl Streep
217
00:10:13,203 --> 00:10:14,719
- on "Big Little Lies."
- It's too stunty.
218
00:10:14,742 --> 00:10:17,104
- It pulls you out.
- Exactly.
219
00:10:17,128 --> 00:10:19,066
See? And connection made.
220
00:10:20,243 --> 00:10:21,874
Oh, our cookies are ready.
221
00:10:21,897 --> 00:10:24,337
This guy has a sweet teeth,
but we must wait to eating,
222
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:26,684
as they will be hot to the touch.
223
00:10:26,707 --> 00:10:28,454
Sorry, none for you.
224
00:10:28,477 --> 00:10:30,708
First class only.
225
00:10:38,864 --> 00:10:42,072
Well, that'll be entertaining.
226
00:10:42,095 --> 00:10:44,804
He thought I was a man.
227
00:10:44,827 --> 00:10:46,535
Can we talk about that?
228
00:10:46,558 --> 00:10:49,459
It's late. Let's drive past it.
229
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:52,036
All right, I'll get
the blankets and pillows.
230
00:10:52,059 --> 00:10:54,152
I'll take the TV room,
you take the couch?
231
00:10:54,175 --> 00:10:55,136
Yep.
232
00:10:55,137 --> 00:10:56,692
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
233
00:10:56,715 --> 00:10:58,638
Wh... what did you...
234
00:10:58,985 --> 00:11:00,885
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God!
235
00:11:00,908 --> 00:11:04,717
Oh, my... your father is
having sex with my mother!
236
00:11:05,679 --> 00:11:08,233
You can't get on top
if you're not on board.
237
00:11:08,256 --> 00:11:10,195
Oh!
238
00:11:10,218 --> 00:11:11,427
And, Will, there was something else,
239
00:11:11,450 --> 00:11:13,735
something that looked...
240
00:11:13,758 --> 00:11:15,235
wrong.
241
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:18,066
- There's a beagle on the bed.
- Oh, thank God.
242
00:11:19,798 --> 00:11:22,468
That's what was wagging.
243
00:11:24,799 --> 00:11:26,661
Pour me another one, Smitty.
244
00:11:26,684 --> 00:11:30,008
I've got the toughest decision
I've ever had to make.
245
00:11:30,031 --> 00:11:31,955
Have you made your choice?
246
00:11:33,378 --> 00:11:35,055
Oh, darling...
247
00:11:35,648 --> 00:11:37,509
you make me feel so wonderful,
248
00:11:37,532 --> 00:11:41,050
and I cherish every moment
that we spend together.
249
00:11:41,073 --> 00:11:44,127
- It's Stan, isn't it?
- It is.
250
00:11:44,150 --> 00:11:46,050
I adore you, Malcolm.
251
00:11:46,074 --> 00:11:47,821
You're the perfect vacation,
252
00:11:47,844 --> 00:11:51,052
but Stan is my home...
253
00:11:51,075 --> 00:11:53,730
and the surrounding properties.
254
00:11:55,499 --> 00:11:57,284
I can't say that I'm not hurt,
255
00:11:57,307 --> 00:11:59,786
but may I kiss you good-bye?
256
00:11:59,809 --> 00:12:02,309
I don't think that would be a good idea.
257
00:12:03,233 --> 00:12:06,172
How about I kiss Smitty
258
00:12:06,195 --> 00:12:08,172
and then you kiss Smitty,
259
00:12:08,195 --> 00:12:09,387
and by the transitive property,
260
00:12:09,388 --> 00:12:12,096
you and I would've shared one last kiss?
261
00:12:12,119 --> 00:12:15,251
Why, what a fabulous idea.
262
00:12:15,274 --> 00:12:17,637
You know, I hear that's
how Mike Pence and his wife
263
00:12:17,660 --> 00:12:20,583
have sex through his trainer.
264
00:12:21,660 --> 00:12:23,292
What do you say, Smitty?
265
00:12:23,315 --> 00:12:26,293
Well, um... um...
266
00:12:26,316 --> 00:12:28,393
I... I guess.
267
00:12:31,817 --> 00:12:33,795
I'm really going to miss those...
268
00:12:33,818 --> 00:12:35,741
gorgeous lips of yours.
269
00:12:43,782 --> 00:12:46,182
You're the most beautiful
woman I've ever seen.
270
00:12:46,205 --> 00:12:48,668
- Oh.
- Thank you.
271
00:12:52,207 --> 00:12:56,323
And you're the sexiest man
I've ever known.
272
00:13:14,021 --> 00:13:16,252
♪ MeToo.
273
00:13:23,832 --> 00:13:25,770
Sorry, Smitty, but, uh,
274
00:13:25,793 --> 00:13:27,847
buns of steel.
275
00:13:27,870 --> 00:13:29,794
Titanium.
276
00:13:30,603 --> 00:13:32,618
I sat on a rusty nail,
277
00:13:32,641 --> 00:13:36,835
and I lost my buttocks to tetanus.
278
00:13:43,952 --> 00:13:46,145
Smitty, you're divine.
279
00:13:50,107 --> 00:13:53,623
Karen... I'm gonna miss you.
280
00:13:53,646 --> 00:13:55,102
Me too.
281
00:13:55,955 --> 00:14:00,048
I guess... no more
"same time, next year."
282
00:14:00,071 --> 00:14:02,765
How 'bout same time, next lifetime?
283
00:14:03,765 --> 00:14:05,200
I'd like that.
284
00:14:25,758 --> 00:14:28,582
- I haven't slept at all.
- Me neither.
285
00:14:28,605 --> 00:14:30,852
That's the worst thing I've ever seen,
286
00:14:30,875 --> 00:14:32,913
and I've watched you eat lobster.
287
00:14:36,723 --> 00:14:40,124
Have... have you ever
walked in on that before?
288
00:14:40,147 --> 00:14:41,970
Oh, yeah.
289
00:14:41,993 --> 00:14:44,009
My dad is so cheap that every vacation,
290
00:14:44,032 --> 00:14:45,433
we would all stay in one room,
291
00:14:45,456 --> 00:14:49,111
and he would say,
"Are the kids asleep, Bobbi?"
292
00:14:49,957 --> 00:14:51,881
We weren't asleep, Will.
293
00:14:53,765 --> 00:14:55,590
- We were never asleep.
- Oh...
294
00:14:57,420 --> 00:14:59,513
Okay, okay, here's
what we have going for us:
295
00:14:59,536 --> 00:15:01,783
my mother is the most
repressed woman in the world;
296
00:15:01,806 --> 00:15:04,244
your... your father is
almost clinically deaf.
297
00:15:04,269 --> 00:15:05,707
So they may not even know
that we saw them?
298
00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:07,015
Yeah, and even if they did,
299
00:15:07,038 --> 00:15:08,169
they'll... they'll never bring it up.
300
00:15:08,192 --> 00:15:09,362
Okay.
301
00:15:09,385 --> 00:15:12,055
- Good morning, everybody.
- Hi.
302
00:15:12,079 --> 00:15:13,825
I have a big announcement to make.
303
00:15:13,848 --> 00:15:15,095
My sister called,
304
00:15:15,118 --> 00:15:18,672
and Aunt Honey will not lose her foot.
305
00:15:18,695 --> 00:15:21,789
- Great news.
- And we made love last night.
306
00:15:21,812 --> 00:15:23,597
Oh, God.
307
00:15:23,620 --> 00:15:25,890
First time with a Jewish man.
308
00:15:27,505 --> 00:15:30,392
He was surprisingly Gentile.
309
00:15:32,045 --> 00:15:34,947
- But that was his joke.
- That was my joke.
310
00:15:34,970 --> 00:15:36,485
Can we please not talk about this?
311
00:15:36,508 --> 00:15:38,455
What? It's about time someone had
312
00:15:38,478 --> 00:15:40,909
heterosexual sex in this apartment.
313
00:15:40,932 --> 00:15:42,910
I've had sex with a man
in this apartment.
314
00:15:42,933 --> 00:15:46,180
Uh, Grace, please,
I don't wanna hear that.
315
00:15:46,203 --> 00:15:47,372
So...
316
00:15:47,395 --> 00:15:48,566
Jack, you know, we're going through
317
00:15:48,589 --> 00:15:50,065
something kinda personal at the moment.
318
00:15:50,088 --> 00:15:51,528
Who are these old people?
319
00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:54,051
That's Will and Grace.
You met them yesterday.
320
00:15:55,205 --> 00:15:58,529
No, the older ones, who look
like they just had sex.
321
00:15:58,552 --> 00:16:01,107
Oh... good for you.
322
00:16:01,130 --> 00:16:02,992
No! Not good for them.
323
00:16:03,015 --> 00:16:04,954
Why? It's about time somebody besides me
324
00:16:04,977 --> 00:16:07,801
had sex in this apartment.
325
00:16:07,824 --> 00:16:09,494
I've had sex in this apartment.
326
00:16:09,517 --> 00:16:11,918
No one wants to hear that.
327
00:16:11,941 --> 00:16:14,379
But let's talk about
something more pleasant.
328
00:16:14,402 --> 00:16:16,996
I have decided to move into the city
329
00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:19,228
to be closer to Martin.
330
00:16:19,251 --> 00:16:22,344
What? No, no, no, no,
you love Connecticut.
331
00:16:22,367 --> 00:16:25,998
It's... it's where 90% of the 1% live.
332
00:16:26,021 --> 00:16:27,537
We wanna see where this goes.
333
00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:31,008
And... and we feel we wanna be
more involved in your lives,
334
00:16:31,031 --> 00:16:32,692
be... because, you know, clearly,
335
00:16:32,715 --> 00:16:34,793
pfft, they've gone off the rails.
336
00:16:35,908 --> 00:16:38,041
You know what, Marilyn,
they have, they really have.
337
00:16:38,064 --> 00:16:40,210
Oh, by the way, this is
my boyfriend, Estefan.
338
00:16:40,234 --> 00:16:42,050
- Oh!
- The pleasure is mine.
339
00:16:42,073 --> 00:16:44,096
It's so nice to meet
a woman in this apartment
340
00:16:44,119 --> 00:16:46,295
who actually looks like a woman.
341
00:16:48,113 --> 00:16:49,668
- Ah, tell me about it.
- Daddy!
342
00:16:49,691 --> 00:16:52,822
Well, it was a compliment
for my wonderful girlfriend.
343
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:55,900
- Girlfriend? This is crazy.
- Love is crazy!
344
00:16:55,923 --> 00:16:57,555
Love? You think you're in love
345
00:16:57,578 --> 00:16:59,401
after spending one night in bed together?
346
00:16:59,424 --> 00:17:01,017
We fell in love after one afternoon
347
00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:03,864
of standing up together,
but it's not a contest.
348
00:17:03,887 --> 00:17:06,557
- But did we win?
- Yes, dear.
349
00:17:06,580 --> 00:17:08,326
Oh, you see, honey?
350
00:17:08,349 --> 00:17:09,904
You're using them as an example?
351
00:17:09,927 --> 00:17:11,674
That just proves how crazy this is.
352
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:13,982
You're rushing into things,
like teenagers.
353
00:17:14,005 --> 00:17:17,214
Okay, I get it. It's scary to be alone.
354
00:17:17,237 --> 00:17:18,790
I mean, I lost my relationship with Leo;
355
00:17:18,813 --> 00:17:20,599
he lost his relationship with Vince.
356
00:17:20,622 --> 00:17:22,892
You didn't lose them. They ran away.
357
00:17:26,124 --> 00:17:27,755
The point is...
358
00:17:27,778 --> 00:17:29,948
that if we've learned anything
from moving back in together,
359
00:17:29,971 --> 00:17:33,718
it's that the fear of
never finding "the one"
360
00:17:33,741 --> 00:17:36,180
- can lead to bad decisions.
- Yeah, ex... exactly.
361
00:17:36,203 --> 00:17:39,412
Look, I... I know you think
we're a little incestuous,
362
00:17:39,435 --> 00:17:40,990
with the living together
and the working together,
363
00:17:41,013 --> 00:17:42,451
but it works for us.
364
00:17:42,475 --> 00:17:44,374
And whether or not
we ever find true love,
365
00:17:44,399 --> 00:17:45,644
whatever the hell that is,
366
00:17:45,667 --> 00:17:48,876
I... I know I will always
have my best friend,
367
00:17:48,899 --> 00:17:52,338
and... and... and... and
if that's all I ever have,
368
00:17:52,362 --> 00:17:54,185
I'd still be a happy man.
369
00:17:54,208 --> 00:17:55,609
Me too...
370
00:17:55,632 --> 00:17:57,724
but I'll be a happy woman.
371
00:17:57,747 --> 00:17:59,748
I am a woman.
372
00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:09,497
- Does that... make sense?
- It does.
373
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:12,689
Marilyn, I don't wanna end up
like Will and Grace.
374
00:18:12,712 --> 00:18:14,229
What?
375
00:18:14,252 --> 00:18:16,422
Will, I wanna ask permission
to marry your mother.
376
00:18:16,445 --> 00:18:19,653
You are not getting it.
377
00:18:19,676 --> 00:18:21,077
Eh! I don't need it!
378
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:24,924
Marilyn, life is short,
love is precious...
379
00:18:24,947 --> 00:18:26,848
- Mm.
- So what are we waiting for?
380
00:18:26,871 --> 00:18:29,733
- Sweetheart, will you marry me?
- She absolutely won't.
381
00:18:29,756 --> 00:18:32,464
- Yes, I will!
- This is a nightmare.
382
00:18:32,487 --> 00:18:34,581
No, no, you wake up from nightmares.
383
00:18:34,604 --> 00:18:36,619
I don't wanna be like
Will and Grace, either.
384
00:18:36,643 --> 00:18:40,360
I just met them and I
don't want to be like them.
385
00:18:40,383 --> 00:18:42,391
Martin's right.
386
00:18:42,414 --> 00:18:45,660
Love is precious, and life is short.
387
00:18:45,683 --> 00:18:47,469
Jack, what are you saying?
388
00:18:47,492 --> 00:18:49,969
Estefan, I love you.
389
00:18:49,992 --> 00:18:51,547
I knew it the moment I met you...
390
00:18:51,570 --> 00:18:54,663
- Oh...
- Yesterday.
391
00:18:54,686 --> 00:18:57,933
Oh, will you make me
the happiest man in the world
392
00:18:57,956 --> 00:18:59,279
and propose to me?
393
00:18:59,302 --> 00:19:01,126
Oh, no, no, no.
394
00:19:01,149 --> 00:19:02,741
Of course, mi amor.
395
00:19:02,765 --> 00:19:06,320
"Yack"...will you marry me?
396
00:19:06,343 --> 00:19:09,782
What? Really?
397
00:19:09,805 --> 00:19:12,860
Oh, my God, sí, sí, A thousand times sí!
398
00:19:12,883 --> 00:19:15,707
Oh, my...
399
00:19:15,730 --> 00:19:18,208
Oh, God, it's a contagion.
400
00:19:18,231 --> 00:19:19,631
Congratulations to the two of you.
401
00:19:19,654 --> 00:19:22,555
Oh, and congratulations
to the two of you.
402
00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:23,902
Should we do a double wedding?
403
00:19:23,925 --> 00:19:25,401
No.
404
00:19:25,424 --> 00:19:28,287
This calls for a celebration.
Where's your champagne?
405
00:19:28,311 --> 00:19:30,441
Um, Will and I will go get some.
406
00:19:30,464 --> 00:19:32,388
- Where?
- France.
407
00:19:36,929 --> 00:19:39,021
Do you realize what's going on
in there right now?
408
00:19:39,044 --> 00:19:42,022
All the people who know us the best
409
00:19:42,045 --> 00:19:44,022
are making life choices based on the fact
410
00:19:44,045 --> 00:19:47,292
that they do not want to be like us.
411
00:19:47,315 --> 00:19:49,908
Well, not all of them.
412
00:19:49,932 --> 00:19:52,794
You two.
413
00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:55,064
Oh, the day I've had.
414
00:19:55,087 --> 00:19:57,873
Had to make a decision between
my lover and my husband,
415
00:19:57,896 --> 00:19:59,295
and I chose my husband
416
00:19:59,318 --> 00:20:02,050
because I didn't wanna end up
like the two of you.
417
00:20:04,167 --> 00:20:05,451
See?
418
00:20:05,474 --> 00:20:08,875
Grace, there is nothing wrong with us.
419
00:20:08,898 --> 00:20:09,953
We are good.
420
00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:11,953
We're not enmeshed,
and we're not too close,
421
00:20:11,976 --> 00:20:15,838
and our relationship is... is...
is certainly not incestuous.
422
00:20:15,861 --> 00:20:18,085
You know what I just realized?
423
00:20:18,108 --> 00:20:20,147
When your parents get married,
424
00:20:20,170 --> 00:20:22,648
the two of you will be
brother and sister.
425
00:20:28,788 --> 00:20:30,689
We gotta make some changes.
30275
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