All language subtitles for Will & Grace (1998) - S09E03 - Emergency Contact 1080p WEBDL h264 AAC 2.0

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,702 --> 00:00:07,349 Introducing the new spokesperson 2 00:00:07,373 --> 00:00:09,380 for Wag and Bone Dog Food, 3 00:00:09,476 --> 00:00:12,748 Mr. Jack Mc... 4 00:00:14,288 --> 00:00:16,847 - Line... - You know my last name, Karen. 5 00:00:16,944 --> 00:00:19,503 Honey, I did Ayahuasca with shaman last night. 6 00:00:19,599 --> 00:00:21,908 I don't know if it's raining or Tuesday. 7 00:00:23,872 --> 00:00:25,546 You really booked a commercial? 8 00:00:25,642 --> 00:00:28,317 Technically, I probably booked it. 9 00:00:28,413 --> 00:00:31,417 They unofficially told the gal who's basically my agent 10 00:00:31,513 --> 00:00:33,313 that it's between me 11 00:00:33,409 --> 00:00:35,323 and approximately three other guys, 12 00:00:35,419 --> 00:00:39,056 so...... it's in the bag. 13 00:00:39,152 --> 00:00:40,249 Congrats, Jack. 14 00:00:40,345 --> 00:00:43,405 Now, will you be playing the dog or the human? 15 00:00:43,751 --> 00:00:45,926 See, guys, this is why I do it. 16 00:00:46,022 --> 00:00:49,429 All the years of people saying, "You're too good for that job. 17 00:00:49,525 --> 00:00:50,929 You should be leading a bigger life." 18 00:00:51,026 --> 00:00:54,702 "Sir, this is a library. Put your pants back on." 19 00:00:54,798 --> 00:00:56,703 Karen's taking me out to celebrate. 20 00:00:56,799 --> 00:00:58,243 I thought you had a temp job today. 21 00:00:58,339 --> 00:01:00,937 Oh, that's right. I forgot. 22 00:01:01,033 --> 00:01:02,900 I picked up a day as a rehearsal pianist. 23 00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:05,536 God, why did you make me a triple threat? 24 00:01:08,269 --> 00:01:11,315 Honey, call in sick. Easy-peasy. Check it out. 25 00:01:12,426 --> 00:01:15,198 Grace, I can't make it in today. 26 00:01:20,893 --> 00:01:23,357 I sprained my ankle. 27 00:01:25,974 --> 00:01:28,034 You know that Grace is still here? 28 00:01:28,130 --> 00:01:31,266 Jesus, does that woman ever work? 29 00:01:31,363 --> 00:01:33,288 Hasta la homos. 30 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:37,618 I don't wanna work today. 31 00:01:37,714 --> 00:01:39,772 It's so expected. 32 00:01:39,869 --> 00:01:41,851 You're my lawyer. Get me out of this. 33 00:01:42,304 --> 00:01:44,584 In the case of McFarland v. Reality, 34 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:47,529 the Supreme Court ruled, grow up. 35 00:01:48,529 --> 00:01:50,743 - Adults go to work. - Why aren't you at work? 36 00:01:50,839 --> 00:01:52,455 Oh, I scored a ticket to the Princess Diana gown exhibit 37 00:01:52,533 --> 00:01:53,879 at the Met before it opens to the public. 38 00:01:53,956 --> 00:01:56,150 I am freaking out. 39 00:01:57,998 --> 00:02:00,904 - Oh... - You look shmancy. 40 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,539 If I was straight, I'd stare at you like a creep 41 00:02:02,616 --> 00:02:04,656 and tell you to smile more. 42 00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:09,044 I am going to the gynecologist. 43 00:02:10,815 --> 00:02:14,721 What's with the faces? You both came out of vaginas. 44 00:02:14,818 --> 00:02:16,380 I didn't. 45 00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:20,245 I am a Platinum Star Gay. 46 00:02:21,130 --> 00:02:22,497 Gay-splain, please? 47 00:02:22,593 --> 00:02:24,170 A Gold Star Gay has never been with a woman. 48 00:02:24,248 --> 00:02:25,768 Platinum haven't been with a woman, 49 00:02:25,864 --> 00:02:27,885 and they were born via C-section. 50 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,930 Hence they've never touched a vagine. 51 00:02:33,216 --> 00:02:35,275 It's all in his book, "Men Are From Mars; 52 00:02:35,371 --> 00:02:37,507 Who Cares Where Women Came From?" 53 00:02:51,614 --> 00:02:53,789 Where am I? What's going on? 54 00:02:53,885 --> 00:02:55,943 You. I know you. 55 00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:58,599 - You work here? - I'm Sheila, your nurse. 56 00:02:58,696 --> 00:03:00,140 I used to work at the sperm bank, 57 00:03:00,236 --> 00:03:01,717 where you tried to have a gay baby... 58 00:03:01,813 --> 00:03:05,067 or the donor was gay. I don't know, it was super gay. 59 00:03:05,163 --> 00:03:06,528 What happened to me? 60 00:03:06,624 --> 00:03:08,068 The doctor found some weird cells, 61 00:03:08,165 --> 00:03:09,877 and so he did a biopsy on your left breast. 62 00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:14,150 Wait, left... 63 00:03:14,245 --> 00:03:16,978 Oh, that's the big one. 64 00:03:19,056 --> 00:03:22,060 - So, are you telling me I have... - Cancer. 65 00:03:23,175 --> 00:03:25,773 I mean, you might have cancer. 66 00:03:25,869 --> 00:03:28,719 There's a very, very, very slim chance that you have it. 67 00:03:30,488 --> 00:03:33,375 You're supposed to lead with that. 68 00:03:34,337 --> 00:03:37,320 I'm... I'm taking this really well. 69 00:03:37,416 --> 00:03:39,245 Why am I taking this really well? 70 00:03:39,341 --> 00:03:41,824 Because you're coming out of a very heavy sedation. 71 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:43,401 We called your emergency contact. 72 00:03:43,497 --> 00:03:46,923 - He's waiting outside. - Oh, good, I need Will. 73 00:03:48,655 --> 00:03:50,510 Hey, Grace. 74 00:03:50,965 --> 00:03:52,007 Leo? 75 00:03:58,554 --> 00:04:01,653 Hi, I'm Jack, the rehearsal pianist from Temporary Players. 76 00:04:01,749 --> 00:04:03,732 - I'm looking for Alvin. - I'm Alvin. 77 00:04:03,828 --> 00:04:05,079 Churro? 78 00:04:05,175 --> 00:04:07,157 Uh, one, two, three, four, five... 79 00:04:07,254 --> 00:04:08,927 I'm sorry, I can't do it. Thank you though. 80 00:04:09,023 --> 00:04:10,848 Um, so where does the magic happen? 81 00:04:10,944 --> 00:04:12,561 Oh, we had to cancel the magic program, 82 00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:15,086 'cause the money disappeared. 83 00:04:15,182 --> 00:04:17,049 No, the theatrical magic, 84 00:04:17,146 --> 00:04:20,738 where thespians work onstage, and "lespians" build the sets. 85 00:04:21,649 --> 00:04:24,170 If you talking about the theater, it's right there. 86 00:04:24,266 --> 00:04:25,555 I'm sorry, um, but in the words of 87 00:04:25,652 --> 00:04:27,942 my dear friend Amanda Bynes, 88 00:04:28,038 --> 00:04:29,838 where am I? 89 00:04:32,233 --> 00:04:34,601 This is the Bronx Boys & Girls Club. 90 00:04:34,697 --> 00:04:36,640 You're teaching an afterschool drama class. 91 00:04:36,736 --> 00:04:38,526 - Starts at 3:00. - Alvin, was it? 92 00:04:38,623 --> 00:04:39,874 - Alvin with an A? - Yep. Mm-hm. 93 00:04:39,970 --> 00:04:42,298 Alvin as in, "Alvin!" 94 00:04:42,394 --> 00:04:44,312 Don't do that. 95 00:04:44,336 --> 00:04:46,281 - Alvin... - Mm-hm. 96 00:04:46,282 --> 00:04:48,150 I used to teach, now I do. 97 00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:51,151 In fact, I'm an almost working actor again. 98 00:04:51,248 --> 00:04:52,960 You probably don't recognize me 99 00:04:53,057 --> 00:04:54,866 from the regional dog food commercial I'm about to get, 100 00:04:54,942 --> 00:04:57,219 but I certainly can't consider teaching kids 101 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,756 in an afterschool drama program, 102 00:04:58,834 --> 00:05:00,185 but I think what you do here is great. 103 00:05:00,281 --> 00:05:01,934 - You know, it's great, great. - Oh, yeah, it's best. 104 00:05:02,011 --> 00:05:03,622 You know the Bronx silver service credo: 105 00:05:03,718 --> 00:05:07,297 Come for the free internet, stay for the Obamacare... 106 00:05:08,722 --> 00:05:10,127 For now. 107 00:05:11,493 --> 00:05:14,457 I don't get that. I'll see you later. 108 00:05:15,650 --> 00:05:17,248 Pickles! 109 00:05:17,344 --> 00:05:19,172 Pickles to heck! 110 00:05:19,268 --> 00:05:20,847 I'm not familiar with that expression, 111 00:05:20,923 --> 00:05:22,982 but I'm guessing you didn't get that commercial. 112 00:05:23,078 --> 00:05:26,119 When you guess, you make an ass of you and me. 113 00:05:27,736 --> 00:05:29,972 Well, you wanna teach, pickles? 114 00:05:30,584 --> 00:05:33,201 'Cause it sounds like you're not gonna do. 115 00:05:35,318 --> 00:05:38,752 How heavy was that sedation? 116 00:05:39,090 --> 00:05:40,919 Because I feel like 117 00:05:41,015 --> 00:05:44,344 my ex-husband is standing right there. 118 00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:47,577 I think I'm still listed as your emergency contact. 119 00:05:47,674 --> 00:05:49,921 How could that be? I told Karen to... 120 00:05:49,945 --> 00:05:51,907 oh, that's how. 121 00:05:53,870 --> 00:05:55,738 I'm sensing some tension here. 122 00:05:55,834 --> 00:05:57,392 - Who cheated? - He did. 123 00:05:57,488 --> 00:05:59,682 Wow, seriously? That was just a shot in the dark. 124 00:06:00,721 --> 00:06:03,627 It's a little bit more complicated than that. 125 00:06:03,723 --> 00:06:04,974 Is it? 126 00:06:06,610 --> 00:06:11,210 Acting is rejection, rejection, rejection. 127 00:06:11,306 --> 00:06:12,750 Hope? 128 00:06:12,846 --> 00:06:15,366 No, rejection. 129 00:06:15,463 --> 00:06:17,696 So if any one of you can picture yourselves doing anything, 130 00:06:17,773 --> 00:06:19,655 anything other than acting, 131 00:06:19,751 --> 00:06:22,257 I'm gonna have to ask you to leave right now. 132 00:06:22,352 --> 00:06:23,989 You, what do you wanna do? 133 00:06:24,085 --> 00:06:25,682 I wanna be a fireman. 134 00:06:25,779 --> 00:06:27,414 Oh, really? 135 00:06:27,510 --> 00:06:29,144 Get out! 136 00:06:30,243 --> 00:06:31,840 Not... not out, out. You're a kid, that's crazy. 137 00:06:31,864 --> 00:06:33,539 Just go to the bleachers. 138 00:06:33,707 --> 00:06:35,112 If I seem intense, 139 00:06:35,209 --> 00:06:37,884 it's for one reason and one reason only, 'kay? 140 00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:41,501 I don't wanna be here, and I'm really sad. 141 00:06:41,933 --> 00:06:43,234 That's two things. 142 00:06:43,330 --> 00:06:44,773 Jordan, get out! 143 00:06:44,869 --> 00:06:47,005 I can't bear to look at ya! 144 00:06:47,101 --> 00:06:48,699 Not out, out. You're a kid, that's crazy. 145 00:06:48,795 --> 00:06:50,624 Just go to the office. Just go to the office. 146 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:52,875 Look, if you have any hope of making it in this business, 147 00:06:52,952 --> 00:06:56,243 you have to give me your undivided attention, okay? 148 00:06:56,339 --> 00:06:58,012 Fully commit here and now. 149 00:06:58,108 --> 00:06:59,381 You can't let anything distract you from... 150 00:06:59,457 --> 00:07:01,823 oh, my God, Karen's here. What are you doing here? 151 00:07:01,919 --> 00:07:03,517 Well, I thought about going into work, 152 00:07:03,613 --> 00:07:05,057 but Grace is at the lady doctor, 153 00:07:05,153 --> 00:07:06,846 and if there's anything I don't wanna deal with, 154 00:07:06,923 --> 00:07:09,502 it's Grace and her angry inch. 155 00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:14,288 Honey, I'll just wait for you to finish, 156 00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:16,783 and maybe we'll find a nasty roof party 157 00:07:16,808 --> 00:07:18,470 and do a little beep-boop. 158 00:07:21,088 --> 00:07:23,340 I didn't wanna say Molly in front of the kids. 159 00:07:27,169 --> 00:07:29,190 Look, thank you for bringing me home. 160 00:07:29,286 --> 00:07:32,808 Obviously, I'm going to change my emergency contact. 161 00:07:32,904 --> 00:07:35,579 That's all right. It ain't nothing. 162 00:07:35,676 --> 00:07:37,403 - I forgot you did that. - What? 163 00:07:37,428 --> 00:07:39,582 When you wanna defuse tension, you... 164 00:07:39,679 --> 00:07:42,680 Turn up the Cajun spices. 165 00:07:44,605 --> 00:07:49,129 "Why, I'm just a handsome po' boy from N'Awlins. 166 00:07:49,225 --> 00:07:53,332 I'm just eating my bowl of zydeco." 167 00:07:53,881 --> 00:07:56,547 So, a po' boy is a sandwich, 168 00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,060 and zydeco is a form of music, 169 00:07:58,156 --> 00:08:00,160 and I am from Baton Rouge, 170 00:08:00,256 --> 00:08:01,983 which is a completely different accent, 171 00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:03,254 which I lost years ago. 172 00:08:03,350 --> 00:08:06,520 I say, I say, yes, you did. 173 00:08:07,390 --> 00:08:09,849 I'm not Foghorn Leghorn. 174 00:08:10,586 --> 00:08:12,279 But I'm gonna give you a pass, 'cause I know that you're 175 00:08:12,356 --> 00:08:14,088 worried about your test results. 176 00:08:14,166 --> 00:08:15,532 I'm not worried. 177 00:08:15,628 --> 00:08:17,149 Everything's gonna be fine. 178 00:08:17,244 --> 00:08:19,227 You know, it's okay if you tell me, Grace. 179 00:08:19,323 --> 00:08:21,575 Seriously, I'm not worried about it. 180 00:08:21,671 --> 00:08:23,422 I'm fine. 181 00:08:23,518 --> 00:08:24,962 You can go now, Leo. 182 00:08:25,058 --> 00:08:26,931 One of the good things about being single 183 00:08:26,955 --> 00:08:30,870 is you learn how to get through a crisis alone. 184 00:08:32,062 --> 00:08:34,700 - Hey. - I almost died today! 185 00:08:34,797 --> 00:08:36,932 What? 186 00:08:37,028 --> 00:08:38,549 What are you talking about? 187 00:08:38,645 --> 00:08:41,089 I had an emergency biopsy of my boob. 188 00:08:41,185 --> 00:08:44,457 - The big one? - Yeah! 189 00:08:47,113 --> 00:08:48,979 I'm gonna get the results later today. 190 00:08:49,075 --> 00:08:50,615 - Grace, that must've been so... - Terrifying. 191 00:08:50,692 --> 00:08:51,904 - Did it... - They knocked me out. 192 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:53,637 - Because you're a big... - A big baby. 193 00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:54,810 Yeah, yeah. Come on, sit. 'Kay, sit down. 194 00:08:54,887 --> 00:08:56,832 - How do you feel? - Not good! 195 00:08:56,927 --> 00:08:58,256 I might have cancer. 196 00:08:58,352 --> 00:09:01,123 - I smell toast. - Wh... 197 00:09:02,855 --> 00:09:04,779 I made toast. 198 00:09:05,970 --> 00:09:07,878 Wait, you're eating bread? 199 00:09:07,975 --> 00:09:09,879 It's not a cheat day. What's wrong? 200 00:09:09,975 --> 00:09:11,284 No, I don't wanna make this about me. 201 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:13,382 You... you're dealing with something real. 202 00:09:13,478 --> 00:09:15,421 - Have you been crying? - No... 203 00:09:15,517 --> 00:09:17,958 I went to the Princess Diana exhibit, 204 00:09:18,597 --> 00:09:20,599 which was amazing... 205 00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:24,101 But I bought remastered DVDS of the wedding and the funeral, 206 00:09:24,178 --> 00:09:26,968 and I watched them back to back, and now I'm eating my feelings. 207 00:09:27,064 --> 00:09:28,739 How could you do that to yourself? 208 00:09:28,835 --> 00:09:31,831 She really was like a candle in the wind. 209 00:09:32,454 --> 00:09:34,897 Speaking of just hanging out in the wind, 210 00:09:34,993 --> 00:09:36,937 - I'm here. - Leo? 211 00:09:37,033 --> 00:09:39,025 - How you doing, Will? - What are you doing he... 212 00:09:39,121 --> 00:09:41,287 oh, please, God, tell me you're not back together, 213 00:09:41,383 --> 00:09:43,943 unless you are, in which case... 214 00:09:44,039 --> 00:09:45,598 Yay. 215 00:09:45,694 --> 00:09:47,830 He's still my emergency contact. 216 00:09:47,926 --> 00:09:49,870 What? I thought you told Karen to... 217 00:09:49,966 --> 00:09:51,448 oh, yeah, that makes sense. 218 00:09:51,544 --> 00:09:53,219 You know, you should've probably been 219 00:09:53,315 --> 00:09:55,873 her emergency contact, even when we were married. 220 00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,495 Good luck with the test results, Grace. 221 00:09:57,572 --> 00:09:59,839 Will, it was... it was good seeing you. 222 00:09:59,935 --> 00:10:01,341 What did he mean by that? 223 00:10:01,436 --> 00:10:03,052 I think he just meant it was nice to see me, 224 00:10:03,130 --> 00:10:04,361 and he understood that my feelings about... 225 00:10:04,439 --> 00:10:06,228 No, the thing before that. 226 00:10:06,324 --> 00:10:09,230 What did you mean by Will being my, uh, emergency contact 227 00:10:09,326 --> 00:10:11,079 - when we were married? - Grace, it doesn't matter. 228 00:10:11,106 --> 00:10:12,194 No, just say it. 229 00:10:12,343 --> 00:10:13,614 You never shared anything with me. 230 00:10:13,637 --> 00:10:15,274 You always ran to Will. 231 00:10:15,370 --> 00:10:17,659 Wasn't that the problem with our marriage? 232 00:10:17,755 --> 00:10:19,739 You could never be in a relationship with me, 233 00:10:19,762 --> 00:10:23,323 because you're always gonna have this weird thing with Will. 234 00:10:23,491 --> 00:10:25,512 Oh, so that's it? I don't get a last word? 235 00:10:25,679 --> 00:10:27,161 No, you get the last word 236 00:10:27,185 --> 00:10:30,015 by bringing up who gets the last word. 237 00:10:30,111 --> 00:10:31,707 Well, how about we're done talking 238 00:10:31,804 --> 00:10:33,707 and no one gets the last word? 239 00:10:33,731 --> 00:10:35,103 - Fine. - You did it again! 240 00:10:35,127 --> 00:10:36,981 You know what, I want the last word, 241 00:10:37,077 --> 00:10:38,443 so you get on that elevator, 242 00:10:38,540 --> 00:10:40,716 and you stand there silently, 243 00:10:40,812 --> 00:10:43,255 until the door closes in your face. 244 00:10:43,279 --> 00:10:45,511 - You know, this is... - Ay... oh... oh... ooh... 245 00:10:47,585 --> 00:10:49,445 Last word. 246 00:10:50,164 --> 00:10:52,531 - Bye, Grace. - Dah... 247 00:10:54,937 --> 00:10:56,803 Why is your friend at the lady doctor? 248 00:10:56,900 --> 00:10:58,458 Why does anyone go to any doctor? 249 00:10:58,554 --> 00:11:00,669 Fear and pills. 250 00:11:01,511 --> 00:11:03,404 But you mind your own business. 251 00:11:06,407 --> 00:11:08,620 Do you know how I could find a doctor like that? 252 00:11:08,716 --> 00:11:09,929 Ask your mother. 253 00:11:10,025 --> 00:11:11,468 I live with my dad and brothers. 254 00:11:11,492 --> 00:11:14,417 Oh, boo hoo, I didn't ask for your life story. 255 00:11:16,991 --> 00:11:18,397 You're mean. 256 00:11:18,493 --> 00:11:21,072 You have no idea. 257 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,590 Why do you need to go to the doctor anyway? 258 00:11:27,614 --> 00:11:29,365 Mind your own business. 259 00:11:29,461 --> 00:11:31,251 Hm... 260 00:11:31,348 --> 00:11:33,061 Brava. 261 00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:36,140 But seriously, you can tell me. 262 00:11:36,309 --> 00:11:37,559 I got a working relationship 263 00:11:37,583 --> 00:11:39,103 with every doctor on Park Avenue. 264 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,490 Come on, what's going on? What's the deal? 265 00:11:41,586 --> 00:11:43,337 Oh. Fine. 266 00:11:43,433 --> 00:11:46,263 You're gonna be like that? All right. 267 00:11:46,359 --> 00:11:48,359 If you're not gonna tell me what's wrong with you, 268 00:11:48,437 --> 00:11:49,572 then we are done. 269 00:11:49,668 --> 00:11:52,706 There is nothing left to say, period. 270 00:11:53,209 --> 00:11:54,807 Ah-ho. 271 00:12:09,924 --> 00:12:12,502 Okay, Jordan, listen... 272 00:12:13,888 --> 00:12:16,775 This isn't "The Miracle Worker," okay? 273 00:12:17,770 --> 00:12:19,463 You need to make actual noises with your mouth. 274 00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:22,024 - I don't think I can do it. - What you're having right now 275 00:12:22,048 --> 00:12:24,800 is what we in the trade call performance anxiety, 276 00:12:24,896 --> 00:12:27,904 and what my friend Will calls date night. 277 00:12:30,093 --> 00:12:32,498 Nothing? No, nothing. 278 00:12:32,594 --> 00:12:33,957 This guy gets it. 279 00:12:35,135 --> 00:12:37,463 Mm, okay. Look, everybody gets scared, 280 00:12:37,559 --> 00:12:39,004 but you can't stop trying. 281 00:12:39,100 --> 00:12:42,120 When you're an actor, you gotta believe in yourself, 282 00:12:42,217 --> 00:12:43,739 even when you don't. 283 00:12:46,028 --> 00:12:47,393 ♪ Ben ♪ 284 00:12:47,489 --> 00:12:50,049 ♪ The two of us need look ♪ 285 00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:53,403 ♪ No more ♪ 286 00:12:53,571 --> 00:12:56,246 ♪ We both found ♪ 287 00:12:56,342 --> 00:13:00,865 ♪ What we were looking for ♪ 288 00:13:00,962 --> 00:13:03,174 ♪ With a friend ♪ 289 00:13:03,198 --> 00:13:05,758 ♪ To call my own ♪ 290 00:13:05,927 --> 00:13:09,102 ♪ I'll never be alone ♪ 291 00:13:09,198 --> 00:13:12,604 ♪ And you my friend will see ♪ 292 00:13:12,701 --> 00:13:17,877 ♪ You've got a friend in me ♪ 293 00:13:17,973 --> 00:13:21,418 I just got the chills. 294 00:13:21,514 --> 00:13:24,883 I am an incredible teacher. 295 00:13:27,673 --> 00:13:29,887 Okay, I found the perfect activity to distract us 296 00:13:29,982 --> 00:13:31,291 while we wait for the test results. 297 00:13:31,367 --> 00:13:33,120 We are going to build a gingerbread house. 298 00:13:33,216 --> 00:13:35,352 Don't know why. Just called to me. 299 00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:37,904 What are... what are you eating? What... what are you eating? 300 00:13:37,928 --> 00:13:39,437 Strawberry ice cream, 301 00:13:39,605 --> 00:13:41,472 but I'm using chicken satay as the spoon. 302 00:13:45,262 --> 00:13:47,399 It must be bad news, Grace. 303 00:13:47,495 --> 00:13:49,439 We're gonna get through this together. 304 00:13:49,463 --> 00:13:51,195 I'll shave my head. Do you need me to shave my head? 305 00:13:51,219 --> 00:13:53,240 No, no, the test was negative. I don't have cancer. 306 00:13:53,462 --> 00:13:56,753 Oh, thank, God, I have a weird skull. 307 00:13:56,849 --> 00:13:58,600 Hey, but this is great news! 308 00:13:58,624 --> 00:14:00,798 Come on... ... this is great. 309 00:14:00,966 --> 00:14:02,602 Whoo! 310 00:14:02,698 --> 00:14:05,373 Why am I whooing alone? 311 00:14:05,469 --> 00:14:06,759 Is Leo right? 312 00:14:06,856 --> 00:14:08,396 Did our relationship ruin my marriage? 313 00:14:08,472 --> 00:14:09,460 Yeah, you got a little strawberry... 314 00:14:09,484 --> 00:14:11,513 Was I supposed to go to him instead of you? 315 00:14:11,537 --> 00:14:13,418 - Just... just... stop, stop. - Are we weirdly close? 316 00:14:13,514 --> 00:14:15,263 Stop, stop... stop talking for a second. 317 00:14:16,055 --> 00:14:17,309 There. 318 00:14:21,020 --> 00:14:24,118 I believe you were asking if we are weirdly close. 319 00:14:24,142 --> 00:14:25,624 - Yeah, are we? - Yes! 320 00:14:25,648 --> 00:14:27,034 But here, you know what this is like? 321 00:14:27,134 --> 00:14:28,139 Oh, is this gonna have 322 00:14:28,163 --> 00:14:29,466 something to do with Princess Di? 323 00:14:29,490 --> 00:14:31,513 I think we both know the answer to that. 324 00:14:31,874 --> 00:14:34,511 Remember how we both hated Camilla Parker Bowles? 325 00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:36,623 We were young. We rushed to judgment. 326 00:14:36,647 --> 00:14:38,623 Exactly. Everyone thought she was the villain, 327 00:14:38,647 --> 00:14:40,669 because she broke up this storybook romance. 328 00:14:40,693 --> 00:14:43,291 - Well, do not forget the hats. - I wish I could. 329 00:14:43,459 --> 00:14:45,711 But all she really did was... was help Charles realize 330 00:14:45,735 --> 00:14:47,487 the storybook wasn't true. 331 00:14:47,655 --> 00:14:50,176 Wait, who's Princess Diana in this situation? Leo? 332 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:52,796 Sadly, yes. 333 00:14:53,236 --> 00:14:54,471 And I'm Camilla. 334 00:14:55,314 --> 00:14:56,834 Here, sit down. 335 00:14:56,858 --> 00:14:58,197 The point is, 336 00:14:58,221 --> 00:15:00,423 no happy marriage ends in divorce. 337 00:15:00,664 --> 00:15:02,184 - Ah... - I mean, I was there. 338 00:15:02,208 --> 00:15:04,114 You tried everything you could. 339 00:15:04,283 --> 00:15:05,257 Months of therapy. 340 00:15:05,281 --> 00:15:07,765 Grace, you tried golf. 341 00:15:07,862 --> 00:15:09,652 "Is the ball in the hole?" "No." 342 00:15:09,748 --> 00:15:10,999 "How 'bout now?" "No." 343 00:15:11,095 --> 00:15:13,000 "Is it lunchtime?" "No." 344 00:15:13,553 --> 00:15:15,618 You only came to me 345 00:15:15,714 --> 00:15:17,235 when you already knew it was over, 346 00:15:17,259 --> 00:15:20,011 just like I came to you when things with Vince were over. 347 00:15:20,179 --> 00:15:21,411 You're right. 348 00:15:21,852 --> 00:15:23,624 So, you let Leo think what he wants. 349 00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:24,913 - You're right. - What matters is 350 00:15:24,990 --> 00:15:26,510 - you know the truth. - Exactly. 351 00:15:26,607 --> 00:15:27,823 You don't have to explain anything to him. 352 00:15:27,847 --> 00:15:29,015 Hell no. 353 00:15:29,039 --> 00:15:30,259 You're gonna go explain things to him, aren't you? 354 00:15:30,283 --> 00:15:33,554 Uh, Princess Jambalaya's not getting the last word. 355 00:15:35,613 --> 00:15:36,748 All right, we good? 356 00:15:36,844 --> 00:15:38,250 - Everything go okay? - Yeah. 357 00:15:38,346 --> 00:15:39,672 You do everything I told you to do? 358 00:15:39,696 --> 00:15:41,857 - Yeah. - Good stuff. Have a nice life. 359 00:15:46,852 --> 00:15:48,315 Honey, you have somebody you can talk to 360 00:15:48,339 --> 00:15:49,820 about these things, right? 361 00:15:49,844 --> 00:15:51,678 Like a husband or a lover? 362 00:15:52,779 --> 00:15:54,722 What? No. 363 00:15:55,984 --> 00:15:58,793 Why does it always have to be me? 364 00:16:00,823 --> 00:16:02,102 Honey... 365 00:16:02,522 --> 00:16:04,736 I know what just happened was a big deal. 366 00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:06,935 It isn't fun, but this day never is. 367 00:16:07,175 --> 00:16:10,582 For me, it was the summer of fift... 368 00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:13,718 sixt... '79. 369 00:16:16,757 --> 00:16:19,780 I was sitting on my front porch, 370 00:16:19,876 --> 00:16:22,167 listening to my transist... my Walkma... 371 00:16:22,191 --> 00:16:24,846 my iPod shuffle... 372 00:16:26,658 --> 00:16:28,962 And then it happened. 373 00:16:29,499 --> 00:16:32,404 Well, I just wanted to run into my room and hide, 374 00:16:32,428 --> 00:16:34,565 but my mom's idiot boyfriend 375 00:16:34,733 --> 00:16:37,177 screamed to the whole neighborhood, "Hey! 376 00:16:37,273 --> 00:16:39,707 Lois's kid just became a woman." 377 00:16:40,579 --> 00:16:41,829 And then my mom celebrated 378 00:16:41,853 --> 00:16:43,528 by opening her bottle of good scotch 379 00:16:43,552 --> 00:16:45,322 and giving everybody in the neighborhood a drink, 380 00:16:45,472 --> 00:16:47,801 everyone except the anxious 12-year-old 381 00:16:47,825 --> 00:16:49,749 who needed it the most. 382 00:16:51,804 --> 00:16:54,325 Look, Tasha, the point is, 383 00:16:54,556 --> 00:16:57,635 I survived, and so will you. 384 00:16:58,789 --> 00:17:00,925 You're not really mean, are you? 385 00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:02,637 How dare you! 386 00:17:04,992 --> 00:17:06,686 Get over here! 387 00:17:10,874 --> 00:17:14,667 Mind your own business. 388 00:17:19,621 --> 00:17:20,852 What are you doing here, Grace? 389 00:17:20,930 --> 00:17:22,887 You and I did not get divorced 390 00:17:22,911 --> 00:17:26,678 because Will and I are too co-dependent 391 00:17:26,707 --> 00:17:28,072 or whatever. 392 00:17:28,096 --> 00:17:29,502 Oh, crap. 393 00:17:29,526 --> 00:17:32,143 I see you're still unaware of your wingspan. 394 00:17:32,936 --> 00:17:35,380 Well, at least you're not blaming me and Will. 395 00:17:35,476 --> 00:17:39,076 Well, technically, you came here to talk about Will, so... 396 00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:40,259 You know what, can I just please finish? 397 00:17:40,283 --> 00:17:42,106 I'd let you, but you're putting his gall bladder 398 00:17:42,130 --> 00:17:43,266 where his liver goes. 399 00:17:43,559 --> 00:17:46,215 One drink, and he will explode. 400 00:17:47,414 --> 00:17:49,011 Stop being charming. 401 00:17:49,332 --> 00:17:51,623 You are wrong about our marriage. 402 00:17:51,647 --> 00:17:54,112 It did not end because of Will and me. 403 00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:58,244 - You're absolutely right. - I am? 404 00:17:58,268 --> 00:18:01,054 I mean, I know I am, but... I am? 405 00:18:01,078 --> 00:18:02,833 Grace, it ended because of you. 406 00:18:03,074 --> 00:18:05,479 Me? Me? 407 00:18:05,575 --> 00:18:08,135 You were the one who joined Doctors Without Borders, 408 00:18:08,231 --> 00:18:11,252 met a blonde, and it became Doctors Without Pants! 409 00:18:11,348 --> 00:18:13,562 You see, you bring this up every time. 410 00:18:13,658 --> 00:18:14,986 Well, it was a big deal! 411 00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:16,551 Well, that was our first marriage, Grace. 412 00:18:16,575 --> 00:18:19,018 The second time, I was in it, okay? 413 00:18:19,042 --> 00:18:20,255 I tried. 414 00:18:20,367 --> 00:18:21,772 But... but you never let me back in. 415 00:18:21,796 --> 00:18:25,049 I couldn't complain, because I was the cheater. 416 00:18:25,073 --> 00:18:27,226 I... I didn't have a leg to stand on. 417 00:18:28,052 --> 00:18:29,324 You're right. 418 00:18:29,348 --> 00:18:30,753 I am? 419 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:34,039 I-I mean, I-I know I am, but I am? 420 00:18:34,135 --> 00:18:36,486 I tried so hard, Leo, 421 00:18:37,277 --> 00:18:39,029 but I just couldn't forgive you. 422 00:18:39,112 --> 00:18:41,672 - I know you tried. - I did. 423 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:43,841 I took up golf for you. 424 00:18:46,836 --> 00:18:48,383 I took up golf for you. 425 00:18:48,407 --> 00:18:49,978 I hate golf. 426 00:18:50,147 --> 00:18:51,898 "Can I get back on the cart now?" "No." 427 00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:54,770 "How 'bout now?" "No." "Are we the only Jews?" "Yes." 428 00:18:56,592 --> 00:18:58,190 Now I'm sad. 429 00:18:58,498 --> 00:19:00,597 We could've not played golf together. 430 00:19:00,693 --> 00:19:03,408 I guess we just got our signals crossed. 431 00:19:03,432 --> 00:19:05,230 Yes, we did. 432 00:19:08,288 --> 00:19:09,480 Okay... 433 00:19:10,584 --> 00:19:12,086 I guess, um, 434 00:19:12,836 --> 00:19:14,164 I'm gonna go. 435 00:19:14,434 --> 00:19:17,186 - 'Kay. - Oh, uh, one more thing, 436 00:19:17,210 --> 00:19:18,808 I... I don't have cancer. 437 00:19:18,832 --> 00:19:21,106 I know. I ta... I talked to Will. 438 00:19:22,466 --> 00:19:23,591 Hey, Grace... 439 00:19:24,498 --> 00:19:26,317 you took my heart. 440 00:19:27,154 --> 00:19:29,284 You took my heart too, Leo... 441 00:19:31,464 --> 00:19:33,139 But I believe 442 00:19:33,370 --> 00:19:35,698 that we both are gonna find love again, 443 00:19:36,565 --> 00:19:38,585 with the person we're supposed to be with. 444 00:19:39,144 --> 00:19:42,033 No, I mean, you took my heart... 445 00:19:43,417 --> 00:19:44,959 From the model. 446 00:19:45,623 --> 00:19:47,548 Yeah, you, uh... 447 00:19:49,145 --> 00:19:51,070 You put it in your purse. 448 00:19:55,232 --> 00:19:56,923 I mean, I-I'm sure it was an accident, 449 00:19:56,947 --> 00:19:59,512 but, you know, they... they kill you on the replacement parts. 450 00:20:00,435 --> 00:20:02,859 You so set me up. 451 00:20:11,668 --> 00:20:13,629 We always had that, didn't we? 452 00:20:13,653 --> 00:20:15,233 We certainly did. 453 00:20:15,257 --> 00:20:17,792 - And that ain't nothing. - Sure ain't. 454 00:20:20,937 --> 00:20:22,727 See you around, Adler. 455 00:20:22,751 --> 00:20:24,327 Bye, Leo. 456 00:20:31,091 --> 00:20:32,568 Last word. 32893

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