All language subtitles for Will & Grace (1998) - S08E21 - Partners n Crime 1080p WEBDL h264 AAC 2.0

Grace, Hurry up. We're gonna be
late for our childbirth class.

You know what was a bad idea?
Watching Alien last night.

Now every time I feel the baby kick,

I think it's trying to
chew it's way out of me.

Well, it's your baby.
It's gonna chew something.

Stop worrying you're gonna be fine.

As long as you go to class
and do everything right.

Have you taken your pre-natal
vitamins? Let me see your nails.

Good. Nice and healthy.

Wow! Look at your nails.

You'd think you were taking
pre-natal vitamins, too.

Yeah, I am. Yeah, my nails are
stronger, my hair is thicker.

My balls be shrinking, but who cares.

You know, I use my fabulous hair
and nails to draw the men in.

Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late.

Ever since I made detective, it takes me
forever to figure out what I'm gonna wear.

You know, the right shirt can
really pull together a crime scene.

Oh, um... Will and I are just
heading out to my childbirth class.

He's my-- my
labor coach.

I hope that's okay, I asked
Vince to come along with us

'cause we're gonna go
to the movies later on.

But nothing with Nicole Kidman.

I'm not a fan since she and Keith
Urban became the hot lesbian couple.

Hey, Vince. Hey, Will. Hey,
Grace. Hey, little Jack.

I'm not naming my baby Jack.

What baby? I was talking to my penis.

You guys, I'm so freaked out!

I just got the first script
for my new TV show, "The Badge."

And my character, Detective Chuck
Rafferty, has to pistol whip somebody.

Hey, you know Jack,
maybe I could help you.

When I was addicted to pain killers, I
used to pistol whip people for jaywalking.

Yeaahhh.... No. I need a man's man.

Someone who really knows what it is
to be a violent, womanizing alcoholic.

Hey, kids.

Ugh. I'm so glad that Jewpetto
and Feynoccio are finally gone.

You know, it's really starting to bug me
that they are always hanging around here.

And, honey, it's perfect because
there's so much going on at the manse,

I really need to talk to you.

Karen, I'm sorry, I can't!

I'm due on the set, and I
still haven't figured out

a way to access anger for
my pistol whipping scene.

You know, it is hard to stay
angry when pistol whipping.

I think it's because after the first
couple of whacks, you get the giggles.

Anyway honey, I really do need to
talk to you. This is about my marriage.

Uh, and this is about television. Right.

And right now, I really need
you to help me rehearse my scene.

Okay. Well, as long as we can
talk about my stuff afterward.

- Okay.
- Okay. All right.

You've got ten seconds 'til I start
pounding you like a five dollar whore.

You got that, pumpkin?

Um. Well. Honey, this says "punk." Are
you sure you should be changing the lines?

You know, you're right. I really
should respect the vision of...

these 26 writers.

Wow. Look at those names.
It's like Schindler's list.

You know, honey, maybe I can help you.

You know, back in the day when I
was roommates with Stanislovs-- Oh!

I mean, Uta Haga-- I
mean... Claire Daines.

We used to study a technique
called "sense memory".

It's were you recall an earlier
experience and then recreate that emotion.

It's a form of method acting.

Sounds kind of out there.

I mean, I've never heard
of it. And I taught acting.

Well, here's an example.

If I had to make myself angry,
I would take myself back to...

Well, this morning,

when Stan was slurping and sawing
his way through his usual breakfast.

Two poached deer and
a half a grapefruit.

I felt my stomach... begin to tighten.

And I thought, if I have to
sit here for one more day,

I am literally going to
leap across this table

and rip his heart right out of his body.

I mean, I am going to claw my way through
the hair and the flesh and the fat,

and the internal hair, and more fat...

until I hold his beating
40-pound heart in my hand

and squeeze until it is still!

Oh, my God, Karen. I had no idea
it was so easy to look angry.

All I have to do is
squeeze my fist and grimace!

Cagney and Lacey underwear, I'm late!

Thank you so much,
Karen. You saved my life.

Hey, wait a minute!
What about my stuff?!

Didn't you hear a word I just said?

No, I was too busy watching you.

I can't look and
listen at the same time.

I'm not some robot from the future.

So you're okay out here
while we're in class?

God yeah. I got a ton of paperwork.

If we're ever gonna catch this lunatic
who's been killing people in the subway,

I gotta spend all my free time
pouring over every detail of this case.

A subway killer? That's terrifying.

We're still going to the
movies though later, right?

Oh, God, yeah, but we're taking a cab.

Okay, let's get started.

Oh, could we wait another minute?

My boyfriend's not here yet.

Sheila, I'm sorry, but we
can't do this every class.

I know he'll be here.

I left 15 messages for
him at his wife's house.

Now I know where I know you from.

Didn't you work at a fertility clinic
I went to a couple of years ago?

Oh, yeah. You know, after I
got fired I took your sperm

and put it in my freezer for
eight months. Small world.

It's probably not any of my business,

but that's not mine, is it?

Nah. I went with an Irish guy.

I wanna be able to drink with my kid.

It just breaks my heart to think of that
woman going through this all by herself.

Sheila, don't you think
you should get rid of that?

I think it's a little too late.

You know what? I'm gonna
get Vince to help her.

Although he's probably knee-deep in that
research material about the serial killer.

Aw, yes! Six kids and
living in a castle!

Cut! Great work, guys.

You were amazing. In that
scene Jack, you were so intense!

I thought you were going
to pistol whip me for real.

I wanted to. It bugs me when
straight people look like you.

Honey, how'd it go?

Great, Karen. That stuff
you taught me really works.

Good. Well, I wanted to watch the scene,

but just as it was starting,
a red light went on.

And... well... old habits die hard.

So, honey, remember when I said
I needed to talk to you earlier?

Well, now, you'll
never believe--

Good. The pages for my next scene.

I'm sorry, Kare. Go on.

Okay. Well, uh, after I left you,

I went straight back to
the manse because, honey,

I finally knew what I needed to do.

But then, the most
unexpected thing happened--

Oh, my God, Karen! I have
to have sex with a woman!

I don't know how to do that.

It never occurred to
me that my character,

womanizer Chuck Rafferty,
would have sex with a woman.

I thought "womanizer"
meant he eliminated women.

But, honey, seriously, I
really do need to tell you--

But wait, wait, Karen, I
really need your help again.

- All right.
- Okay. All right.

My character makes love
to his partner's wife,

but then it gets all sad because
it can never happen again.

Okay, first of all, why is he sad?

I mean, he should be happy he doesn't
have to have sex with a woman again.

Honey, sometimes sex can be very sad.

Take this afternoon, when
Stan and I made love...

Jackie, I had planned
to ask him to move out.

But then... [SIGHS] I don't know...

Our eyes met in the mirror while
he was brushing his tooth...

And he touched me, Jackie.

He touched me in a way that he
hasn't touched me since we met.

Twenty years... Twelve heart
attacks, and untold melanomas ago.

Heh. Poor guy. He's so fat a
part of him is always in the sun.

Then as I closed my eyes and
surrendered to the moment,

I felt all of my rage just
slipping away. I missed him.

I missed who he was,
and who we once were.

And then I knew. I knew
that... that was the last time

that we would ever be
together like that again.

Perfect. All I have to do
is close my eyes and sigh.

Then it will be easier for me to imagine
the actress playing my partner's wife

is actually Kevin Bacon in
a Speedo made of Twizzlers.

That's all you got
from what I just said?

You know, Jack, I've got real problems,
and if you're not going to help me,

I'm not always going to be
here at your beck and call!

Kevin Bacon called?!

Now, let's get used to carrying a baby.

But, please be careful with them.

They were used to train police dogs,

so one of them might have
a brick of heroin in it.

Excuse me, I gotta get this. It's
either my mother or my captain.

I get their numbers confused.
They're both bitches.

Hurry up, I don't want the one
that looks like Mena Suvari.

What are you talking about?
What plastic baby looks like--

Oh there she is.

Now a few of them are
missing arms and legs,

so you'll just have to make due.

I'll take one of those. I
might as well get used to it.

So, you're alone, too, huh?

Oh, no, no. I'm not alone. I have Will.

And, uh, one of these days...

I mean, as soon as I get in touch
with the father, I'll have him, too.

That was my captain.

They found another body in the D-Train.

I'm gonna have to pop
by the coroner's office.

That's horrible. Are
we gonna miss the movie?

Not if we leave now.

Can you finish the class by yourself?

Yeah. Yeah, that's fine.
I'll see you later tonight.

Actually, I'm gonna
be at Vince's tonight.

Okay. I'll see you when I see you.

Bye. Oh, this is yours.

Jack, can I give you a
little constructive criticism?

Uh, take it up with someone
else. I didn't build the sets.

No, I-- I actually think
we need more rehearsal.

I mean, do you want to
go over the next scene?

Okay. But I just can't,
you know. turn it on.

I need some time to
get in the character.

Okay.

Chuck. We need to talk
about your partner, Darren.

Do you even want to know why
he walked out of here angry?

Darren wasn't [FLIPS PAGE] angry.

Yes, Darren was. Darren was
trying to tell you something,

but you were too caught up acting
like a big shot cop to actually listen.

Um, the line is "shut up, bitch."

Oh, I'm sorry. Shut up, bitch!

I won't shut up. YOu and Darren
have been friends for years,

and you weren't there
when he needed you most.

Now, he has to use a
walker. Look at this picture.

Look at it close, Rafferty!

Darren. Walker.

Darren, your best friend needed
you and you didn't listen.

Oh, my God. Darren Walker needed me
and I didn't listen. I'll be right back.

Can we get somebody from the constructive
crew? I have some criticism for them.

Hey, did I tell you we finally
caught that subway killer today.

I thought you said you
arrested somebody yesterday.

Oh yeah, it turns out
he was the wrong guy.

Worked him over pretty good, too.

Well, at least now he has a funny story.

Grace! Come on. You ready for class?

Oh, geez, I gotta go pick up Sheila.
I'll see you there, all right?

You're still her partner?

Yeah, she's a good kid.

Plus it'll be nice to help somebody
deliver a baby in a hospital

instead of a Burger King
or an upside down Trans Am.

Thanks for interrupting my sex dream

just as Ang Lee and I were
getting out of the pool.

A sex dream about Ang
Lee? What was that like?

A little slow-paced,
but visually stunning.

Here. Drink your protein drink.

I'm gonna be at Vince's again tonight.

We're gonna stay in and... be
slow-paced, but visually stunning.

You know what? I hate
these protein shakes.

So does every gay man in the city.

But, like you, we drink them for
somebody much younger than we are,

who we hope one day will
look at us with adoring eyes.

Sorry. Not drinking it.

Okay. I guess is the first time

I'm going to have to use
the red marker on the chart.

[ANNOYED] You know what?
This isn't working for me.

I'm tired of you constantly hovering
over me and watching my every move.

So, you know... It's my baby.
I think I know what's best.

I never said I knew what was
best. I'm just trying to help.

Yeah. And I'm just saying
maybe I don't need your help.

Oh. Okay. I know what this is.

I have been charting your
progesterone and you are spiking.

Will, you're not the
President. Get out of my uterus.

I'm going to class.

Well, wait for me.

No. I don't need a
partner. I can do it alone.

Felicia. Mr. Stanley will
be moving out of the manse.

His arms and chest
will be leaving today.

The rest of him should
be out by tomorrow.

- Hey, Kare.
- Well. Look who's here.

Shouldn't you be making love to a
TV woman while holding down vomit?

Karen, please talk to me. I want
to know what's going on with you.

No, you don't. And you wouldn't
be able to hear it anyway.

Okay. Then will you help
me rehearse my next scene?

No, Jack. Forget it. I'm too busy.

Please, Karen.

It's an important monologue and
I really think you should hear it.

Fine. Make it snappy.

While packing his things, three maids
got tangled in Stan's pajama bottoms

and I've got to go cut them out.

Okay. We've been friends for
a long time, Darren, and...

I let you down today... Darren.

I should have been there for you,

but I got wrapped up in my own
stuff that I just didn't listen.

I'm sorry it's over
between you and... Franley.

And I know things seem really scary for
you, but you're a strong woman, Darren,

and you're going to
come out of this okay.

And I'll be there for you for
anything you need.... Darren.

During your breakup
with Franley. I'm Jack.

Come on, you call that writing?

Those Jews should stick to comedy.

Karen, didn't you just
hear a word that I said?

[SIGHS] Of course I did, honey.

I may be a pill-popping, jet fuel
sniffing, gin-soaked narcissist...

but I'm not an actor. I
listen when people speak.

Hey. What are you doing here?

Grace said you weren't
coming. I didn't ask her why,

'cause I saw the way her levels
were spiking on your graph.

What are you doing out here?

Sheila's been in the bathroom
for like, half an hour.

Yo! Haul it out here, trailer park!

Shut up, grease ball, my water broke!

Oh, geez. All right.
Visualize your breath.

And put out that cigarette!

What are you doing here?

I don't want you walking home alone.

Someone just got killed in this city.

They're calling it the
"Could be Anybody Killer".

I know it was Vince's turn to name the
killer and that's what he came up with.

- Here. Let me help.
- Really, I've got it.

- No, I wanna help.
- I don't want your help.

Well, you're gonna get it anyway.

Now look what you did!

We're supposed to treat these
like they're real babies!

Calm down. I'm sure a real baby's
head wouldn't come off quite so easily.

I told you I could do it myself.

But you don't have to.

You don't have to do any of
this yourself. You have me.

No, I don't. I mean, yes, right now,
during the course of this class, I do.

But once that baby comes,
I'm on my own. It's just me.

You're starting a whole new life
with Vince, and that's-- that's great.

And Leo's starting a whole new life
with his fianc�e and that sucks.

But you know what? There's nothing I can
do about it, so I have to be realistic.

If I am going to have to raise this...
headless torso by myself, then I really...

I need to start getting used to it now.

Grace. After all we've been through,

do you really think that I wouldn't be
there for you after this baby is born?

Of course I'll be there for you.

You say that like it's so easy.

This is so much bigger than
anything we've ever been through.

Listen to me.

I already love this baby more
than I could have imagined.

And if you want me to, I'll
be there for the whole thing.

From diapers to college...
which, quite frankly,

I already assumed I'll be paying for.

You really mean it?

It would be an honor.

So we're... we're
gonna do this together?

We already are.

I'm really sorry, Karen. I
wish I'd been there for you.

Honey, it's okay. It's just
important that you're here for me now.

Now. If you'll excuse me, honey,

I'm going to go take some of those
pills I've been stealing from Grace.

Gosh, my nails are
stronger, my hair is thicker,

but I think my balls may be shrinking.