Original subtitles

Well, thank you That's terrific. Okay

Hey, the Griddle Cafe just donated a brunch to my charity auction

That oughta go like-- Well, like hotcakes

This auction looks great

Oh, a gay cruise to Key West! I want that

Who am I kidding?

A boat full of hot gay guys and an open bar...

I might as well put on a bathing suit and start crying now

What's going on, Will? Que pasta?

Oh, my charity's putting on an autumn carnival

and I'm in charge of the live auction

All right

I see what you're trying to do

You want me to donate a dinner with Jack McFarland, host of Jack Talk

Nice try

But, yes

Why not. I've got a $200 dinner at the Gotham Bar and Grill

I'll just make it the Gotham Bar and Girl

You're welcome

So, Honey, Malcolm and I are really excited to go to your autumn carnival

Oh, and, uh, by the way if you talk to Stan

I'm at the Star Trek convention in Anaheim until Monday morning

Wait, you're still seeing Malcolm?

I thought you were gonna break up with him now that you're back with Stan?

Honey, I know, but I can't He's such a sweet man and...

Well, you know me

If there's one thing I can not do it is hurt another person's feelings

That is so true, Karen You do have a kind heart

I'm sorry, honey

I don't what it is, but your faggy little voice is just going right through me today

��

�� &

�� & ��

�� & �׷�

�� & �׷���

�� & �׷��̽�

�� & �׷��̽�

�� & �׷��̽�

�� & �׷��̽�

�� & �׷��̽�

�� & �׷��̽�

�� & �׷��̽�

8x05 The Hole Truth

��ũ ���� ������(ZZsgirl@nate.com)

�ѱ� ���� ������(mlitm@nate.com)

��ũ ���� ������(mlitm@nate.com)

���� �׽�Ʈ �躴��(myiuno@nate.com)

Hi, Grace Nice wrap dress

That Diane von Furstenberg really knows a woman's body

Vivian Westwood she'd look good on you, too

I'm sorry, when did we become girlfriends?

Grace, can I ask your advice?

I'd like to come up with something really special that I could do for Karen

To show her how much she means to me

And I was thinking of having her name tattooed on my chest, right here

nip to nip

Yeaah.... I wouldn't do that

Why not? Because they're uneven? Because I'm cool with it being diagonal

Yeaah.... I still wouldn't do it

Why not?

I shouldn't say It's between you and Karen

- Grace, what are you talking about? - Nothing. I really don't know--

Grace. You know something and you're going to tell me

I am skilled in many forms of interrogation

including physical torture, sleep deprivation

- and Jewish guilt - Okay

Karen's back with Stan

They worked things out and now she's seeing the both of you

Wow

Well, why wouldn't she tell me herself?

I thought she cared about me

Just yesterday, we did it, like, 50 times

She does care about you

Really, 50?

God, she types up one memo and she needs a nap

Thank you, Grace But I think I need to be alone

Please go

This is kind of my office

I said go

Hi. Autumn carnival benefitting Project Angel Food

Or in your case Project Angel Tush

Will, America doesn't like to think of you as sexual

On your left, ladies On your left

Rosie? What are you doing here?

Well, since Miss Karen fired me I've been barbacking in this dump

Well, Rosie, that looks heavy let me help you

So, Rosie, how's the crowd? Am I, like, the biggest star in the room?

Probably. It's either you, or that twink who fell down a hole in the '80s

Baby Glenn? Wow

He spent three days in that hole I remember watching his rescue on TV

Oh, yeah

For weeks after that

I would dress Malibu Ken up as a fireman get in the hamper

and have my mother lower him down on a piece of string

Sometimes I do blame the parents

So Baby Glenn is gay

Yeah, they did a story on "Homo Extra" I think they called it

Baby Glenn Out of One Hole and Into Another

Which I just got

Hey, you should get him for your auction

You need another celebrity

I can't carry the whole gay community on my back

Though I admire you for trying

I just-- I don't know how star-studded I want this thing to be, I mean, you know

do I want one person no one's heard of, or two?

Maybe I should date him

When a celebrity dates a celebrity their fame multiplies

I must talk to this Baby Glenn

Well you're in luck 'cause here he comes

Back away. It's a very delicate dance this pas-de-deux of the elite

I must finesse what I'm going to say

I host a gay talk show I fell in a hole

- Wanna date? - Sure / Ok

'Sup. Baby Glenn

Oh, you still go by "Baby" Glenn?

yeah

You sorta have to stick with the name

you've got once you become internationally famous. so...

Are you that famous?

I think people mostly knew you that week you tripped

Uh, lover, my friend here would like to auction you off at his event

Sure. I'll do it

Baby Jessica's doing The View and I've gotta keep up with that bitch

Hey, Karen

Don't you "Hey, Karen" me

You just had to stick your nose job where it didn't belong, didn't you?

I'm sorry, Karen

but Malcolm has the right to know that you're back with Stan

Oh yeah? Well, we had a big fight I had to break up with him

He was devastated

But, I think we left it in a good place

Jump out of all the moving taxis you want to, Karen

The argument isn't over till I say it's over

Why did you break up with me? And just before the autumn carnival

Don't you see?

This is exactly the kind of confrontation

I was trying to avoid when I threw myself onto 8th Avenue

Malcolm, can't you just go by yourself?

I can't go to the carnival without a woman

The gays would be all over a bear like me

Besides, it's pathetic going alone

I'm going alone

Aren't you aggressive?

I'd love to go with you Pick me up at 8:00

And if I'm still getting ready have a drink with my house mates

Okay, that's crazy

What? A government agent can't live with two waitresses and a law student?

Karen, I don't want to go with Malcolm

Oh, come on, honey, please You owe it to him

And besides it would mean so much Malcolm lives for a good carnival

The whole gang knows that

What gang?

You, me, Will, Jack, Kenickie Frenchy, Putzie. The gang

Hey, Wilma Nice Autumn Carnival

This is a wonderful thing you're doing for charity

Yeah, whatever. I'm just hoping to get a boyfriend out of all this

Hello, Miss Karen

Well, if it isn't the bearded lady herself

Don't I need a ticket to gape at you in awe and repulsion

I wouldn't talk, lady

I'm the person who used to pluck your chin hairs

If it weren't for me you'd look like ZZ Top

I wouldn't stand so close to the carnival games if I were you

Someone might take you home thinking they won a giant Shrek doll

So, this is my first big event as a public figure

and I'm not quite sure how to act

Like, how do I treat people...

how do I pose for pictures...

how do I feel about the war in Azkaban

Just remember We're better than everyone else, okay?

For flip's sake, I'm Baby frickin' Glenn And you're Jack frickin' Garland

It's McFarland

Yeah, you're Jack Farland

It's McFarland. Geez what do you still have dirt in your ears?

Uh, guys..

Excuse me, uh..

What in the hell do you think you're doing here?

This is a storage room for beverages

Uh, maybe in your fantasy

but this is our dressing room

And quite frankly we're not happy about it

I know. I got your list of demands

A chocolate fountain

A pony

And to live forever

Now, this place needs to be room of refuge

You know, for when we're on break

What break?

- From performing - You're not performing

I know, we're on break

Guys, all you have to do is stand on stage

while unsuspecting people bid on you, Okay?

Now, I got to start this auction

Where's the microphone? I left it right here

Yeah, I took it

I thought it was part of my gift bag

There are no gift bags, okay?!

You each get one can of Fanta That's it

This is ridiculous

We can not have this kind of stress before we go on

- Yeah... - You are not "going on"!

Neither one of you is a celebrity. Okay?

"Baby" Glenn. I mean, you weren't even a baby when you fell in that hole

You were twelve years old!

They just called you a baby because you cried for three straight days!

Well... Somebody's jealous they didn't get stuck in a hole

That's what I got from that

How dare you...

talk to my boyfriend like that

You're lucky we even showed up to your piece of crap event

Do you know that man opened over 20 grocery stores?

You respect him

Well, you're right. You know when you hear "Baby Glenn,"

you do think "Hey, I've heard of him."

But, Jack... you host a local gay talk show whose timeslot is between

nine hours of "The Golden Girls"

and six queens standing in front of a rainbow flag singing

"Oh, gays can you see."

You are a jealous, bitter queen

You can't stand that I am somebody and you are nobody

I shouldn't even be having this conversation

It is beneath my dignity

Now, if you'll excuse me

I'm gonna take my free fan of canta

and go clean the llama poop off my shoe

Cotton candy!

Once at a fair in junior high

this kid dared me to eat, like ten sticks of this stuff

I got pretty far, and then bleh..

All over my face and my clothes and..

Oh, then I had my first kiss...

You are a real charmer Grace Adler

Thank you for coming on this date with me

Sure. It was my pleasure

Hold my pocket

What?

I like when my girls do that

No. I'm not gonna hold your pocket

You're my girl You'll hold my pocket

And now for one of our featured items

A dinner with everyone's favorite clumsy lovable pre-teen from the 80s

You loved him in the hole you'll love him at Bagel Nosh

Baby Glenn

Thank you "Help, help, I'm in a hole!"

They know the underpants stay on, right?

What should we start the bidding at?

Thousand

I don't think you're gonna go for a thousand

- A thousand! - What? A thousand?

- 1100! - 1100? Wow. Okay

Going once, going twice Sold! 1100!

Wow. That's even more than we raised at the hands across my hole benefit

Karen. I need to talk to you Malcolm's a mess

He's made me his girlfriend He wants me to hold his pocket

You've got to fix this Go talk to him

And hurt him again? Honey, I can't!

Oh, Karen You are the same woman

who blindfolded Rosie gave her a stick and told her a beehive was a piata

Some good came from that We learned she was allergic

All right, I'll do it

Ladies and gentlemen, next you'll be bidding on dinner

with the host of Out TV's critically...

acknowledged show "Jack Talk"... Jack McFarland

When you see how famous I am

you will rue McClanahan the day you doubted me

You got a booger

I'm gonna start the bidding at 100 dollars

Anybody, 100 dollars

They know the underpants come off, right?

Folks, dinner with Jack McFarland? 100 dollars?

The meal itself is worth 200, so you're gonna come out okay on this one

You'll be helping needy people

Forget it, Will. You were right Nobody knows who I am

Wait, wait wait.. I have an opening bid of $100!

Oh! 200! 200, do I hear 250? 500! Jack! Did you hear that gasp?

No, I did not

I have 500 dollars 6, 7, 8, 9!

I have a thousand dollars!

11 hundred-- 12, 13, 14 15 hundred dollars!

Sold for 15 hundred dollars! Thank you, sir!

Oh, my God, auctions are so exciting!

The hands went up so fast I didn't see 'em!

Did you talk to Malcolm? How did it go?

Perfect. We're getting back together

He's taking me to Cancun for a week

Maybe I'll take some jeans and trade 'em for a new maid

Karen, I know you don't want to hurt him but you're hurting him by lying to him

- Here he comes! - Break up with him

- I'm scared! - I'll be right here, no matter what

- Thanks - Oh, funnel cake

$2.50?!

Hey, baby. Look what I won you Isn't it cute?

You can put it next to the bed stuff a camera inside it

and record us while we're doing it

Malcolm, you're making it hard

Whoa, let's wait until the camera's inside the bear

It's.. it's just that..

Excuse me I have to take this

This is Ren

That's my real name I'll explain it later

Was it code red or code green?

Well, How am I supposed to know what to wear?

Well, what are you wearing

Great, we're going to look like twins

Okay, let's review the mission

Sri Lanka, 1100 hours, Singapore Airlines I call the window seat

I called it first. Goodbye

I'm sorry, but I have to go, to... New Hampshire

For jury duty

I'm gonna be gone for 6 to 18 months

Wait a minute You're from New Hampshire?

I'm sorry, Karen, I know it's not fair to ask you to wait

So I'm going to have to break up with you

Goodbye, baby

Malcolm?

Yes?

Sailboats and sunsets?

Sailboats and sunsets, baby

So romantic What does that mean?

It's too complicated to explain...

He nailed me on a windjammer at 6:17 PM

That was complicated

Thanks for taking the time to explain it

You know, Grace, I know I did the right thing, but I'm sad to see him go

You know what always makes me feel better?

What's that?

Funnel cake

Honey, can I have some?

Yeah, the stand's right over there

Hey, there's the 1500 dollar man Pretty great, right?

I know no one was bidding on me, Will

Just when I thought I was famous it got ripped away

I feel like Terri Hatcher six years ago

And Terri Hatcher six years from now

You're wrong, Jack. Somebody did bid on you, I have his check right here

Who?

Me

You have Care Bears on your checks

I thought they were polar bears when I ordered them

I don't get it Why would you bid on me?

Because years from know I want to be able to say

"I knew him when..." And look what you've done, Jack

You went from Just Jack! to Jack 2001! to Jack 2002! to Jack Talk!

I mean, your hands have never been out of work

- Maybe I have done okay - "Okay"?

You're on your way, You're passionate you're driven, you work hard

I know it's going to happen for you

Thank you, Will I love you

I love you, too

So, that's why you bought the dinner? You are unbelievable!

Do not watch my ass as I leave

�ڸ� ���� - ����Ʈ ��� 24 �ڸ��� (http://club.nate.com/24)

���Ǻ� ���� / ���� ���� ������ �ڸ� ��ó�� �� ���� �ּ���

www.tvsubtitles.net