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1
00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:09,092
Oh, Rick…
2
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:13,096
You were right, Morty.
3
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:18,227
Chili… was too… spicy.
4
00:00:27,236 --> 00:00:30,155
Estate sale is open!
5
00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:32,199
Get your Post-its out.
First come, first serve.
6
00:00:32,282 --> 00:00:35,118
If you see a Post-it,
the item has already been claimed.
7
00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:36,620
- Oh, yeah.
- Alright.
8
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,455
Hey, nice office chair.
9
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,207
Hatchi-matchi.
10
00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:41,667
Pretty ghoulish, don't you think?
11
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,335
We just get to take anything we want?
12
00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:46,046
Morty, they're dead. You wanna be
buried with your porn magazines?
13
00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:47,422
Magazines?
14
00:00:47,506 --> 00:00:49,383
What's a "magazines," old man?
15
00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:52,010
Fuck you, Morty.
Go practice your pronouns.
16
00:00:52,803 --> 00:00:55,597
Whoa! An in-ground
two-post vehicle lift?
17
00:00:55,681 --> 00:00:58,016
You could park a motorcycle
on this bad boy
18
00:00:58,100 --> 00:00:59,601
and rotate it any which way.
19
00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:01,853
- I put my Post-it on it first.
- Stop!
20
00:01:01,937 --> 00:01:03,855
- No, no, I did!
- I come from a water planet.
21
00:01:03,939 --> 00:01:06,108
- I should get the snorkel.
- If you're from a water planet,
22
00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:07,609
why do you need a snorkel?
23
00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:14,324
These estate sales
are lame AF, am I right?
24
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:16,326
- Yeah.
- I came to funeral hop,
25
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,912
but there aren't any Smiths left
to hold a funeral.
26
00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:20,497
Wait, funeral hop?
27
00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,958
Oh, shit. You gotta try it, dude.
28
00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:26,712
Some version of your mom,
your dad, bawling their eyes out
29
00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:29,006
and saying the nicest shit
you've ever heard.
30
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,716
But can't happen
when the whole family
31
00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:32,009
checks out at the same time.
32
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:34,261
Your Rick brings you
to your own funerals?
33
00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:36,513
Nah, dawg, I drive myself.
34
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:39,266
- Whoa.
- You don't got a Portal Jr.?
35
00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:40,934
Shit. Bunch of us have one.
36
00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:42,644
Let's see, I bet…
37
00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:47,482
Bam. Pop a Post-it on that bad boy
before someone else does.
38
00:01:47,566 --> 00:01:50,152
Thanks. And cool sunglasses.
39
00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:51,903
Sunglasses?
40
00:01:51,987 --> 00:01:53,238
These are my eyes.
41
00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:04,916
Rick, you ever gone
to your own funeral?
42
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,501
Is that new slang for taking a dump?
43
00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:08,503
- What? No.
- Well, I'm gonna start using it.
44
00:02:08,587 --> 00:02:11,256
Look, a Morty at the estate sale
was a funeral hopper, and…
45
00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:13,342
You can do better
than getting emotional hand jobs
46
00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:14,426
from a fake family.
47
00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:15,844
My real family is dead.
48
00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:17,721
Wow, what a zing. So is mine.
49
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,015
The only thing that helps ease
the horror of existence
50
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:21,933
is friction-free rotation.
51
00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:24,978
Did you buy a motorcycle
to justify the platform?
52
00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:26,688
Morty, it turns.
53
00:02:26,772 --> 00:02:28,815
Come on, man,
I'm asking for guidance.
54
00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:30,984
Do whatever you want.
It's your funeral.
55
00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:48,752
Thank you.
56
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:51,421
Big Legs Morty loved Ritchie Valens.
57
00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:55,759
And now his Big Legs Grandfather
is gonna say a few words.
58
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:58,428
What?! Let me grieve!
59
00:02:58,512 --> 00:02:59,846
You've been drunk all week.
60
00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:03,100
Maybe if you had been sober,
you wouldn't have microwaved him.
61
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:05,560
His big legs were wet!
62
00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:06,937
I should have guessed.
63
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,647
Wait! Big Legs Morty,
64
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:11,608
I should have done this
when you were alive.
65
00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:16,113
Oh, hell yeah!
66
00:03:56,153 --> 00:03:58,905
Well, I guess this is gonna be hard,
67
00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:00,741
but Mort loved to do hard things.
68
00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:03,201
So… we're gonna do this for him.
69
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:07,539
How many of you here loved my son?
70
00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:08,790
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
71
00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:10,542
- Yeah!
- I asked…
72
00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:14,171
how many of you here loved my son?!
73
00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:16,840
Morty was my dawg!
74
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:19,801
Maybe you loved him
because he was a leader,
75
00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:22,596
a scholar, an athlete.
76
00:04:23,305 --> 00:04:26,349
I loved him because he was mine.
77
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:28,310
Because he was my son.
78
00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:29,603
We love you, Mort!
79
00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:31,438
Mort! Mort! Mort! Mort!
80
00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:36,443
When I die, I will kill God
for taking my boy!
81
00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:40,113
I don't approve of your promise,
82
00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:41,448
but I understand.
83
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:47,078
Who will be there for me
now that you're gone?
84
00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:52,209
- Chesterfield?
- Oh, oh! No, no, no, no, no, no!
85
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,711
Oh! Stop! Stop!
86
00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:56,588
Mort?
87
00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:59,132
Oh no.
88
00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:01,426
You guys have never seen
another Morty before.
89
00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:05,889
Does that make sense?
90
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:07,432
Shortest version is,
91
00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:09,768
infinite mes, infinite yous.
92
00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:10,977
You want a grilled cheese?
93
00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:12,437
I want to make it for him.
94
00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:13,563
And this thing?
95
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,982
It's how I got here.
Rick made it for me.
96
00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:18,985
Not my Rick. It's a lot of canon.
97
00:05:19,069 --> 00:05:20,612
Where is Rick?
98
00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:23,240
I'm sorry to tell you this, but…
99
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:24,866
our Rick…
100
00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:27,702
is a drunk, Morty.
101
00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:30,872
Oh… no.
102
00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:32,541
We had to end
our relationship with him.
103
00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:33,750
We tried everything to help,
104
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,794
but ultimately,
he needed to help himself.
105
00:05:35,877 --> 00:05:37,754
And he, like, listened?
106
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,214
This universe is wild.
107
00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:40,590
Just the way you like it.
108
00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:44,052
Wow! So good.
109
00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:45,804
Don't suppose
there's any tomato soup.
110
00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:46,930
Holy shit!
111
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,473
You guys are something else.
112
00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:49,975
You should have met our Mort.
113
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:53,311
Ray, like it or not,
114
00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:55,063
the bank's gonna take your farm.
115
00:05:55,146 --> 00:05:56,773
They will come, Ray.
116
00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,149
Huh? Oh my gosh.
117
00:05:58,233 --> 00:06:00,151
My family's probably worried.
118
00:06:00,235 --> 00:06:02,654
- My other family.
- You're leaving?
119
00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:04,531
Summer, he's not ours to keep.
120
00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:05,907
I understand, Mort.
121
00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:07,450
I mean, Morty.
122
00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:10,662
Come back to us, kiddo.
123
00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:12,914
Whenever you want, you come back.
124
00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:19,629
Summer, stop live-streaming!
125
00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:28,096
Where have you been? I've needed you
to hand me wrenches and stuff.
126
00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:29,681
Check this out.
127
00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:31,099
Wow, great.
128
00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:32,976
Huh? Ah! Oh, Rick!
129
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,519
It's pulling my insides!
130
00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:36,438
You have too much metal
in you, dipshit.
131
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:39,774
- I didn't put it there.
- So?
132
00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:49,993
- Oh, hey!
- Hey!
133
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:51,369
Morty, you came back!
134
00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:53,663
Oh, geez. Good boy.
135
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,540
That's a dog for ya.
136
00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:57,167
My dog enslaved me,
137
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,460
but not this one.
138
00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:01,212
So I'm hanging out of the side
of the ship in space,
139
00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:02,714
holding the guitar that Rick wanted,
140
00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:04,674
but my eyes burst
from the pressure difference
141
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,426
and I couldn't see
for, like, an hour.
142
00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:08,511
Oh, Morty,
you could have been killed.
143
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,472
Oh, yeah, I was.
144
00:07:11,222 --> 00:07:13,975
You died? You die, and come back?
145
00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:15,769
The worst part
is waking up in the tube,
146
00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:17,228
where the fresh body is
147
00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:19,940
'cause you have to cough
all that fluid out of your lungs.
148
00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:21,983
You're saying where you come from,
149
00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:26,363
your grandfather lets you die
over and over again?
150
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,657
What does your father say about this?
151
00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:30,700
Who's a Mad Men?
152
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,994
I'm a Mad Men
153
00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:40,377
Oh my God! I made an owl.
This is incredible!
154
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,921
Too bad my big lathe
is up at the cabin.
155
00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:44,547
Built it with my dad.
156
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:47,717
Then Mort helped me put up
the sleeping porch just last summer.
157
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,552
Wish we could take you there
this weekend,
158
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,930
but the gals are gonna be
at the soup kitchen and…
159
00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:55,475
I mean, we could head up there,
just the two of us?
160
00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:57,811
Really? You'd want to do that?
161
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:08,321
Don't you have any matches?
162
00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:10,073
A man who relies on matches
163
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:12,617
gets pretty cold when he runs out.
164
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,995
You feel like a steak?
165
00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:20,208
Wait till the pan releases the meat.
166
00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:28,925
I feel like I've never learned
anything until now.
167
00:08:30,552 --> 00:08:33,555
And Mort, he's climbing so fast.
168
00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:37,267
When he loses his footing,
he's just silent as he falls
169
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,811
until the crack of his body
hitting stone.
170
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:43,273
Mort was so strong,
171
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,358
but I wasn't strong enough
to save him.
172
00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:46,443
I'm so sorry.
173
00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:49,696
I know you're not my Mort,
174
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,114
not really…
175
00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:53,992
but I love you just the same.
176
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:57,287
I love you, Dad.
177
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:59,164
I wanna be your son.
178
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:01,291
I am your son.
179
00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:07,047
Then break the gun.
180
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:09,966
- What?
- This isn't one of your adventures.
181
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,885
It can be your life.
182
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:14,387
- But what if I need to…
- What could you need that isn't here?
183
00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:16,264
A family that doesn't appreciate you?
184
00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:18,975
A resurrection machine
that makes infinite grandpas?
185
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,394
You need to turn
into a fucking giraffe?
186
00:09:21,478 --> 00:09:22,479
Do it!
187
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:25,690
Hey!
188
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:30,236
- Oh my God!
- Yes! I love you!
189
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,782
I tried to make my son strong.
190
00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:36,117
So strong he would never die!
191
00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:47,087
I just wanna keep you safe!
192
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:50,215
Mort? Mort.
193
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:52,008
Mort?
194
00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:54,219
Mort!
195
00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:56,513
Come back.
196
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:04,145
Dad wants me to free solo El Capitan.
197
00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:05,271
He's crazy.
198
00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:07,065
He wants me to be able
to survive anything.
199
00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:09,150
My only hope's to run away.
200
00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:11,277
Thank you, Mort.
201
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:46,312
And we're left
with a radical non-duality.
202
00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:48,481
The universe is not locally real.
203
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:51,025
Which means nothing matters.
204
00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:54,863
Or… everything does!
205
00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:57,532
Moral universe, let's go!
206
00:10:58,032 --> 00:10:59,492
I fucking knew it.
207
00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:01,995
The Central Finite Curve,
portal travel, all of it.
208
00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:03,913
Of course there's infinite Mortys
209
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:06,082
because there's
infinite worlds, Morty,
210
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,750
and infinite mes!
211
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:09,627
Am I cool in most worlds?
212
00:11:10,211 --> 00:11:11,588
- Oh!
- Mr. Sanchez?
213
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,715
Oh, sorry I frighten you.
214
00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:15,049
I am from Russia.
215
00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:17,719
Who is hunting you?
216
00:11:17,802 --> 00:11:19,846
Jerry? I don't know.
Maybe all of them?
217
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:21,264
I just wanna go home.
218
00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:25,185
I thought there was a better version
of my family for me, but I was wrong.
219
00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:26,895
Do you think you could make this?
220
00:11:26,978 --> 00:11:29,355
Oh, Morty, I would love to help you,
221
00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:31,691
but that thing almost destroyed me.
222
00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:34,027
Salieri to infinite Mozarts.
223
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:36,988
Do you guys not have Mozart?
224
00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:39,324
Oh, Morty, we gotta watch Amadeus.
225
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:41,576
Shit. I'm late. I gotta do a thing.
226
00:11:41,659 --> 00:11:43,995
Do you wanna come with me?
227
00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:47,123
Hey. Hey, everybody.
228
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:49,042
My name's Rick. I'm an alcoholic.
229
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:50,251
- Hi, Rick.
- Hi, Rick.
230
00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:52,045
I know this is an old story
to a lot of you,
231
00:11:52,128 --> 00:11:54,255
but most of us have destroyed
our memories with alcohol,
232
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:55,506
so it'll be like new.
233
00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:58,885
Back before, I had a wife,
I had a family.
234
00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:01,137
My daughter, Beth, she was a terror,
235
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,556
but she was my heart, my whole heart.
236
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:06,100
I'd always like to get wrecked
every now and again,
237
00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:08,061
but Diane kept it under control.
238
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:11,147
And then one day,
she was just… gone.
239
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,399
I was so deep in my work,
I barely noticed.
240
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:14,651
And that's when…
241
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:17,278
You know how that feels
when you really start to drink?
242
00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:19,197
- Oh yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
243
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:20,698
Beth was so little.
244
00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:23,034
I blew it with her.
245
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:25,828
She grew up though, and married
somebody who took one look at me
246
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:27,497
and said, "Not in my house."
247
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:30,583
Fuck, I hate that guy.
But he was right.
248
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:32,460
I hated him enough to end up here.
249
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:35,380
My first meeting was 17 years ago.
250
00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:38,007
Seventeen years since I spoke
to my daughter.
251
00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:40,802
But I'm here and I'm happy.
252
00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:42,971
That's possible for all of us.
253
00:12:43,054 --> 00:12:45,640
You just have to find somebody
who believes in you.
254
00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:51,396
My students were assholes today,
so I'm cooking stew.
255
00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:52,772
Oh, hello.
256
00:12:52,855 --> 00:12:53,982
Who's this handsome fellow?
257
00:12:54,065 --> 00:12:55,108
You might wanna sit down.
258
00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:56,985
Oh, Rick.
259
00:12:57,068 --> 00:12:58,778
He has your eyes.
260
00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:01,114
So you must go home,
261
00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:03,449
and you must find a way
to get him there.
262
00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:04,909
It's not that simple.
263
00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:08,079
But you are a good man,
so maybe it is simple.
264
00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:09,622
Morty, will you have more stew?
265
00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:10,707
Yes, please.
266
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,583
My love, don't forget.
267
00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:14,961
- Wow, she's…
- She's incredible.
268
00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:16,921
So she's a fuckbot?
269
00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:19,173
Jesus Christ, Morty, she's my wife!
270
00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:21,301
- She's a human woman.
- Oh, geez.
271
00:13:21,384 --> 00:13:24,220
I guess I didn't realize
you could love anything. My bad.
272
00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:27,390
Have you seen this boy?
273
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:29,058
Ah, we see a lot of people
through here.
274
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:30,685
One time, I saw a horse buy a ticket.
275
00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:32,395
Some kind of promotion
for a kind of horse food.
276
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:34,188
Don't know about that, but…
Oh, you never forget a face
277
00:13:34,272 --> 00:13:35,440
as sweet as that right there.
278
00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:37,025
Oh, yeah.
I seen him headed to Boston.
279
00:13:37,108 --> 00:13:38,735
Sure as sunlight
and right as rain, I…
280
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,153
Hey, where you going?
281
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:42,530
Found him.
282
00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:46,576
I'm gonna love
that little guy so hard.
283
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:48,661
You okay, buddy?
284
00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:50,413
He's gonna find me
and tie me to a pole
285
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:51,956
and hug me until I throw up.
286
00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:55,293
I'll be trapped here forever!
287
00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:56,586
I'll get you home, okay?
288
00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:58,796
I'll make a portal and get you home.
289
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:03,009
Are you gonna call me
a piece of shit now?
290
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:04,093
What?
291
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:13,311
- Eh?
- Oh!
292
00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:29,577
Fucking shit.
293
00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,454
You'll get it. You've got this.
294
00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:04,779
I know you're gonna get it.
295
00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:07,573
If God doesn't want me
to praise him with inventions,
296
00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:09,409
why implant the desire?
297
00:15:09,492 --> 00:15:12,537
- Everything okay out here?
- Fuck! Just let me work.
298
00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:17,542
She's gonna leave.
299
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:19,001
They all leave.
300
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:21,462
You know,
you didn't drive Diane away.
301
00:15:21,546 --> 00:15:23,673
It wasn't your work or your drinking.
302
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,425
It just happened, everywhere.
303
00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:26,759
To every Rick.
304
00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:28,553
- Wha…
- It wasn't your fault.
305
00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:31,013
Most Ricks never got this far
with portal stuff.
306
00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:32,598
They took a shortcut.
307
00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:34,475
But I believe in you.
308
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:37,478
I can feel it, Uli. I'm so close.
309
00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:39,397
Yeah, close to losing another wife!
310
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,774
I've become tepid. I want to boil!
311
00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:43,025
You can sleep on the couch.
312
00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:44,444
I'm done sleeping.
313
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:49,240
This is what yours is like?
314
00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:51,117
It's the only way I can get home.
315
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,286
Where on God's Earth
did a 14-year-old boy
316
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:55,079
learn this kind of mind poisoning?
317
00:15:55,163 --> 00:15:57,582
From your husband, infinitely.
318
00:15:57,665 --> 00:15:59,542
He belongs more to me than to you.
319
00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:07,508
Professor Sanchez
hasn't shown up for days.
320
00:16:07,592 --> 00:16:10,636
Well, he's my father,
and I'm worried about him.
321
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:11,804
We just need his address.
322
00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:13,764
You don't have
your own father's address?
323
00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:16,476
I was just asking a question.
324
00:16:16,559 --> 00:16:18,686
You're right. It's personal.
325
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:20,938
Summer, the files.
326
00:16:21,022 --> 00:16:23,649
I'm in. Also gonna approve myself
for early admission,
327
00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:26,235
just in case I decide to go
to this fucking nerd school.
328
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:29,197
I'm gonna get my boy
and put him on a leash.
329
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:31,324
A leash? What's up with your family?
330
00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:33,701
Oh, you're right, it's personal.
331
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:37,622
Morty. I figured it out, Morty.
332
00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:39,916
Morty, come on, we're gonna…
we're gonna…
333
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,417
gonna get some stuff, Morty.
334
00:16:44,295 --> 00:16:46,589
Rick, it's the middle of the night.
335
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,430
Come on, I'm working.
336
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:56,557
It's helping me think.
337
00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:58,559
Do you wanna go talk to her?
338
00:16:58,643 --> 00:17:00,311
Fuck that. She's…
339
00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:03,523
There's a multiverse of her
out there, right, Morty?
340
00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:05,149
We gotta… we gotta…
341
00:17:06,484 --> 00:17:08,236
Are you gonna get in trouble?
342
00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:10,863
I got tenure, Morty.
They can't fire me.
343
00:17:10,947 --> 00:17:14,158
I built this place with my dick
and hammered it with my balls.
344
00:17:14,242 --> 00:17:15,910
Wouldn't a dick be a better hammer?
345
00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:17,912
You're right, Morty.
Balls are too soft.
346
00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:20,039
Grab some… Anything.
347
00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:22,291
- Grab anything.
- Mr. Sanchez. Is that…
348
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:26,462
Oh my God, Rick.
349
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:27,922
The problem is morals, Morty.
350
00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:30,508
Ethics. I was scared
of the gray areas.
351
00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:31,842
But now…
352
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:34,762
I can live in them.
353
00:17:34,845 --> 00:17:36,055
I'm gonna get you home.
354
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:37,932
You small, little…
355
00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:39,350
You little guy.
356
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:45,189
Hej dĂĄ, Rick.
357
00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:49,151
They told me I was crazy.
But now, now who's crazy?
358
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:51,112
- They are!
- That's right!
359
00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:53,823
- Rick!
- I did it!
360
00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:59,996
Oh, man. I'm gonna miss you, Rick.
361
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,706
I can come visit you, Morty.
362
00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:03,291
We got a doorway!
363
00:18:03,374 --> 00:18:04,625
And now that
I don't have a dumb wife,
364
00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:05,960
I have all the time in the world.
365
00:18:06,043 --> 00:18:07,587
I can go on adventures, Morty.
366
00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:09,213
We! We could go on adventures.
367
00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:12,758
Yeah. You're sure
I didn't ruin your life?
368
00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:14,010
You saved me.
369
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,261
And so did this.
370
00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:16,971
Because alcohol is good, Morty.
371
00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:19,098
It's not evil.
Everyone should drink it.
372
00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:21,309
Wait till I tell the guys at AA.
373
00:18:21,392 --> 00:18:22,393
All right, off you go.
374
00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:24,645
Let go of my son!
375
00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:26,022
Fucking Jerry!
376
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:27,607
Morty, please don't go in there.
377
00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:29,984
We didn't mean to come on so strong.
We just love you.
378
00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:31,319
Honey, you can stay here
379
00:18:31,402 --> 00:18:33,446
where you don't get thrown into space
380
00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:34,697
and have to die all the time.
381
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:35,990
What the hell is this thing?
382
00:18:36,073 --> 00:18:38,284
Have you even tested it?
You're drunk!
383
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:40,202
You're gonna let a child
go through that?
384
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,371
The science is sound, dick. Watch.
385
00:18:46,584 --> 00:18:48,252
- He's still breathing.
- That's worse!
386
00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:53,257
I've always fucking hated you!
387
00:18:53,341 --> 00:18:55,760
I hate you
in every conceivable reality.
388
00:18:56,344 --> 00:18:58,012
- Kill him!
- Fucking shoot!
389
00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:02,808
Oh my God!
390
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:06,771
Jerry!
391
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:10,441
Oh my God!
392
00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:12,151
Summer!
393
00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:16,989
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!
394
00:19:25,748 --> 00:19:26,749
No!
395
00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:50,690
Estate sale is open!
396
00:19:50,773 --> 00:19:53,025
Get your Post-its out.
First come, first serve.
397
00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:55,569
If you see a Post-it,
the item has already been claimed.
398
00:19:55,653 --> 00:19:57,988
Check it out, Seahorse Morty,
it's a fish gun.
399
00:19:58,072 --> 00:20:00,157
This guy had some cool stuff
for a basic Rick,
400
00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:03,077
and I would know because
I'm defined by my cool shorts.
401
00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:06,330
Oh, Jesus Christ.
402
00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:07,665
- Rick?
- 'Sup?
403
00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:09,709
None of this stuff is any good.
Let's go home.
404
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:12,294
Damn, you look like shit.
405
00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:13,879
Was the funeral that good?
406
00:20:16,257 --> 00:20:18,300
Oh shit, a long-neck dog gun?
407
00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:19,802
Let's fucking go!
408
00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:24,557
Woof, woof, woof, woof
woof, woof, woof!
409
00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:28,060
Hey. You okay?
410
00:20:28,144 --> 00:20:30,271
Yeah. I love you.
411
00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:32,064
All right. No need to get weird.
412
00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:33,399
You're in my sun.
413
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:37,778
So the hat was not a hit today.
414
00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:42,783
But maybe it will be tomorrow
415
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:51,751
Morty, Morty, Morty,
416
00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:53,753
I gotta show you…
I gotta show you something, Morty.
417
00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:56,297
Rick, it's the middle of the night.
I just wanna sleep.
418
00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:58,466
I'll call in a bomb threat
at your school. Come on.
419
00:20:59,717 --> 00:21:01,469
Hey, I took your note, Morty.
420
00:21:01,552 --> 00:21:03,804
I fixed the magnets.
You ready to ride?
421
00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:06,724
Let's go on a hero's journey, Morty!
422
00:21:07,475 --> 00:21:09,518
- Take the wheel.
- But I'm behind you.
423
00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:11,479
Take the wheel.
I'll tell you when to turn.
424
00:21:11,562 --> 00:21:13,981
I'm like… I'm your dad, Morty.
425
00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:15,649
I'm your fucking dad.
426
00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:17,318
It's fucking me, Morty!
427
00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:19,069
Yeah, you're my dad.
428
00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:20,279
I'm your son.
429
00:21:20,362 --> 00:21:22,156
You're my son!
430
00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:56,524
DNA scans clear.
431
00:21:56,607 --> 00:21:58,067
Ooh-wee!
432
00:21:58,150 --> 00:21:59,276
What a season.
433
00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:01,695
Amy figured out what I was up to,
434
00:22:01,779 --> 00:22:03,614
and now she's gonna use my DNA
435
00:22:03,697 --> 00:22:05,908
to make a multiverse waypoint…
436
00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:08,327
And get my fucking husband back!
437
00:22:08,410 --> 00:22:11,121
Activate fourth-dimensional
thrusters!
438
00:22:16,669 --> 00:22:20,297
I assume all the shaking
is unintentional?
439
00:22:20,381 --> 00:22:21,674
Oh my God!
440
00:22:21,757 --> 00:22:22,967
Abort! Abort!
441
00:22:23,551 --> 00:22:26,095
That's never good.
442
00:22:26,178 --> 00:22:28,055
Ooh-wee!
443
00:22:33,102 --> 00:22:34,520
Did you get any of that?
31427
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