Original subtitles

Milk, my man!

I wanted to wish you a very happy birthday.

You're my best friend.

Uh, I can't do what we do without you.

You're my partner in crime.

That sounded weird.

Love you, bro. Best roommate as well.

Uh, I know you're going to see this later, but...

...uh, for now, let's see the setup.

This is Jason. He's going to be helping me out with the event tonight.

Uh, we were in acting class together.

I know we've done a lot of crazy pranks on this channel,

but this is definitely going to be

the most insane prank we have ever done on this channel.

- Getting nervous? - I mean...

How could you not be?

Jason and Milk have never met.

He is a complete stranger to Milk.

Why would I, Milk's best friend, invite

some complete stranger to his birthday party?

This thing right here is a squib.

We're going to be putting this on Naomi.

For those of you who don't know what a squib is...

- It's "squib." - Whatever.

A squib is basically, in the movies,

when they want to get, like, blood to pop out of the guy's chest.

Good luck. Look at that thing.

But this is just one piece of the puzzle.

What happened to that girl Jessica? I haven't seen her in a while.

We used to see her. She's come over a couple times to our place.

She was weird.

She's still a virgin, though.

- I think this is it. - The van.

How the fuck do you know it's the van?

Well, he said it's the van.

It's exactly what they think it is.

You know, bro, this guy could touch kids too.

- Hey, it's for the prank, right? - Yeah, but where did you find him?

In the black market.

What do you mean, the black... What is the black market?

It's kind of like Craigslist.

- This is crazy. - Shut the fuck up.

Let's do this. Come on, we're pros.

- How you doing? - Doing good. How are you?

- Seven? - Yeah.

Hi, how you doing? My friends...

- Hi, how are you? - I'm good, how are you?

Nice to meet you. Yeah...

What are you... what are you filming this for?

Well, yeah, so we're part of...

Let me... let me rephrase: you can't film this.

Well, it's a YouTube channel. We could change your voice...

- ...and we could blur your face. - Nope.

Nope. Get the shot, whatever you do.

I had a client that wanted a real gun

that looked like a toy gun. Shoots real bullets.

So you know what I did?

I put one of these orange tips on it.

This is a 1911. It's a .45 caliber. Will stop a grizzly bear.

This is what you're looking for.

Here, pay attention. So you cock it back.

Now, once you cock it, the bullet is still in the chamber, right?

Even with the mag out. Very important.

Well, guys... goodbye.

What? ...Oh, Jesus!

Did you see the look on his face?

I always get the same questions, so I have to do it.

Are those real bullets? Are they going to get hurt?

Blanks! Bangers!

These are the best in the world.

I just proved that to you with my life.

So if you don't know where this is going by now, then...

...you're just going to have to wait and see it all play out.

There he is. Look who it is!

The birthday boy! It's looking good, man.

Yeah...

It feels kind of weird decorating for my own birthday.

Maybe when they come in, I'll jump up and say "Surprise!"

- What? Really? - Good, don't I?

Yeah, practice the moves.

People showed up! You actually came!

- Hello! - Of course you did. Hey, what's your name?

- Laura. - I'm Seven.

- This is Lara. - Okay.

Lara, nice to meet you.

- Laura. - Lara. L-A-R-A.

- Happy birthday, Marshall! - Thank you.

- Huh? - Milk.

- Why "Milk"? - People... my friends just call me that.

- He loves milk. - Rice milk!

That's just whole milk.

Hey! Happy birthday!

What's up, brother?

What are we talking about?

Shots!

Tequila, bitches!

Hey, where can I put this jacket?

You didn't scare anybody, okay?

So, we're driving home. Milk says

he's going to split the driving with me.

He's asleep in the back seat in ten fucking minutes.

I told Milk to play some good music,

and he puts on "Gravity" by John Mayer.

And as soon as he puts it on, he goes, "Yeah, can you lower that?"

You've done anal?

- Ma'am! - Tightest thing I've ever...

- Put a finger down. - Yes, sir.

I thought you were gay.

She's bi.

Oh my God! Oh, you swing both ways. Okay,

you're forgiven. Now, uh... new one, new one.

Never have I ever, uh... killed an animal.

Oh! Who's been hunting?

- What? - What happened?

Sorry, I ran over a bunny.

It was... it came out of nowhere, and...

- ...and I was speeding. - Aw, little guy.

- What about you? - Next question.

No, what about you? You dropped a finger.

You dropped a finger. What's up?

- It wasn't... - What did you do?

I killed the cat.

What the...? You killed...

...the cat?

That's tough, dude.

Yeah.

- What happened? - Uh, it's just...

...something you're not supposed to do, you know?

Really fucking weird.

I was, like, seven...

...years old.

- Next! - Who's here?

Uh, it's just a friend.

Everybody's here.

Hey, what's... hey, yo, what's up!

- This is, uh, Devon. - Okay, nice to meet you, man. Milk.

- Milk? - Yo, people call me Mold.

I get it.

- Drinks over there. - Thanks.

- Yeah, no problem, man. - Thanks for coming.

Well, why are you inviting random people to my birthday party?

I mean, I didn't see him as a random person.

To me, he's a random person.

Okay, look, I'm sorry.

You know, the coffee shop. We... we met at the coffee shop.

You met him at a coffee shop?

He's a nice guy.

You...

Yeah, but...

Like, just... what the...

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday, dear... ♪

- Fuck you guys! - ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

We got him!

We got...

...another very successful prank.

Thank you for making it all happen.

The prank: "Happy Birthday."

- There he is! - You got me. Come on!

- You got me. - Wasn't that awesome?

Jesus... what the fuck! I can't believe we pulled it off.

Was it... was it blanks, dude?

It was blanks. Don't even ask me how I got him.

I'm changed. I'm a changed man.

I know. So, uh... Jason? In my class.

- Jesus. - He's good, you know.

He was the only one available.

I... I thought he was pretty good. You know, that whole...

...fucking line? That was improvised.

Well, that's... but that was good though, 'cause...

...that was actually the moment I started to not like him.

- Once he said that, I was like, "Fuck this guy." - All right, well... hey, it worked.

Fuck, dude. Is that the fucking landlord?

Fuck. Dude, this is another fucking prank.

I'm not... I'm not going to fall for it.

You think I'm doing two pranks on you in one night?

Yeah, dude.

I don't think I'm that much of a genius.

- Who's at the door? - I mean, hopefully a stripper.

Dude, I bet it's the fucking cops...

- ...because... - Who's at the door? Who is it?

I just want to let you know that I've got children next door

that have to be at school in the morning.

Well, I'm sorry, sir. Um... were we too loud?

I'm sorry. We'll keep it down, sir.

Thank you!

- Oh, what the fuck was that, dude? - Who the fuck... who the hell was that?

What the hell was that? Fool me once... Seriously,

- I'm not going to fall for it. - We didn't... we don't fucking...

- ...know him. - Yeah, who the fuck was that guy?

- I... I know. - Was that your grandpa?

Yeah, whatever. It's not a... it's not...

All right. School night!

I think you're pretty cool too. I'm sorry I had to kill somebody.

Hey, see you later!

Shut up, we're having a moment here.

All right, guys, I'm going to bed.

- Okay, night. - Night.

- 7-Eleven? - Yeah. Yes!

How fucking crazy was that?

You like that?

That was insane. My heart stopped.

I thought you were dead. I thought I'd lost you.

Good. 'Cause Seven was like... Oh, his real name is Jason.

Why did he make a fake name?

'Cause I don't even know who Jason is.

So why would he even make up a fake name?

Did you guys get the gun?

- That's a real gun? - Yeah.

What the fuck!

I think the next prank should be on Link.

Oh, definitely. It's your turn.

So we met a guy off, like, the black web.

I don't... yeah, it was fucking... Seven's crazy.

The guy's van... the van was the creepiest fucking part.

And then he fucking killed himself.

He wasn't actually dead, but it was... it was fucking... yeah.

- Are you fucking serious? - No, I'm being dead serious.

You missed!

You better pay for that, huh?

Shut the fuck up.

That was fun. That was fun.

Hey, guys...

...is it just me, or is that fucking creepy?

What?

I'm not going to fall for it, guys.

I appreciate the... the effort. Really.

For what?

Milk, this isn't a prank.

We didn't fucking hire him.

Good job. You look really fucking...

- ...creepy right now. - Marshall!

- No, I'm just wondering... - What's wrong with you?

- I'm done with it, man. - What the fuck is wrong with you?

- I'm done with the fucking prank! - Sir, I'm... I'm sorry.

- We didn't... we don't mean that. - So sorry, he's just confused.

What makes you think you can talk to people like that?

- Dude, it's fine. - It's not fine.

It is fine, man. Trust me.

THE DAY HE DIED

Milk. Milk, wake up! Milk, wake up!

Dude...

I need you to wake up right now.

What the fuck?

- Why are you recording right now? - I need... I need you to...

...see what's downstairs.

- What time is it? - It's early.

- Oh my God... - Listen, listen, dude.

I need you to go see what's downstairs.

- Why? - Because somebody is down there.

Don't fucking worry.

Hello?

All right, we need to call the cops or something.

No, no, no, no, no. We're not calling the cops.

What do you mean, not call the cops? He's breaking and entering!

But I... I just... I yelled at him last night, so...

He's probably just...

What do you mean, you yelled at him last night? Why were you yelling at him?

Whenever me and Link and Naomi went to the 7-Eleven...

...I saw him.

And I thought... I saw... I thought it was part of your prank, Seven.

What did I tell you? I'm not doing any more...

Well, when you're shooting people in the fucking...

...pranks, I said... What? When you're...

...shooting people in the fucking living room,

how am I supposed to differentiate between the two?

You're supposed to take my word for it.

When I say I'm not doing another prank, I'm not doing another prank!

I'm just going to apologize to him.

You don't need to apologize. Let's just call the cops.

No, no, no, no. Let's not involve the fucking law.

Be nice.

Fuck...

What? What the fuck?

It's dead-bolted from the inside.

He's probably in there.

Yeah.

Wait... just be careful.

We're coming in!

Coming in!

He's not in there.

So where the fuck is he?

Guys, this is crazy. There's some psycho roaming around our apartment.

What?

Come on, dude.

Could be good for the video.

No, it's not.

Hi, I live on 347 Ivy Lane, Apartment 12.

There's a man in our house.

Yes.

- Milk! Milk! - What?

Sir...

Sir, I'm sorry... sorry about yelling at you yesterday.

There's... there's a girl in my head.

I was never supposed to be a man.

And they say...

...that religion can't hurt anyone.

Here I am...

...a 73-year-old man...

...and I sit alone in my dark room.

Her time has passed.

But she's not going to get out.

She can't get out.

But I don't want to.

I don't want...

- Hey, is he good? Is he good? - It's okay. It's okay.

- What the fuck! - It's okay. Okay.

Hey, hey, hey. It's okay. Listen...

...we're just going to take you home, okay?

No, no, no!

- I don't want to go home! - Okay, okay, okay.

- I can't go home. I can't... I'd rather die! - Hey, hey, hey...

Hey, shh, shh... Just calm down, okay? Okay?

Milk.

Just turn the camera off, man.

What?

A guy broke into our house this morning.

This crazy fucking guy.

He tried to shoot himself in our fucking room,

and I got it on fucking camera.

I'm a genius.

- Hey. - What's up?

Are you recording?

Yeah... yeah. This is crazy.

Okay, turn it off.

- What? - Turn it off.

Why?

Come on.

Fine.

- Okay, is it off? - Yeah, it's off.

Okay, I calmed him down.

- Okay. - I told the cops not to come.

He said he's okay.

Okay. And we have dinner at his place tonight.

- Dinner? - What are you... no. What are you...

...talking about?

He's lonely.

- And that's our responsibility? - Are you...

- ...recording? - Yeah.

- Suicide, dude... homicide. - I know, I know.

He's not, like, aggressive.

How do you know? Are you guys BFFs?

I talked to him for a little bit,

and he's actually a really nice guy. He's just lonely.

We're just doing a service today.

Are you going to film this?

Yeah, just in...

...case. For evidence.

Evidence?

- I hear you. - No, dude.

You can't post this online. What do you think is going to...

- ...happen? - I hear you.

So you won't film it.

Naomi, you will not believe what happened this morning.

What's her deal?

Are you okay? What's up?

I'm not okay.

What happened?

Laura broke up with me, and...

...she did it over text. She didn't even fucking call me.

Naomi...

She was nothing special.

Did you call her?

She blocked me.

Hey, we're still... we're still here for you.

Okay?

Maybe we should just give her a minute.

Easy! That's 18 dollars.

- Yeah, it's not that bad. - You're broke, bro. You're paying for it.

I need you to pay for it. I told you I lost my wallet, remember?

- I thought I saw it on the coffee table. - No, I already checked.

Whoa, Naomi. Slow down there, cowgirl.

Okay! Got an attitude. What's the deal?

She just... she's asking to be broken up with.

Oh, for real.

Hey, man, how's it going?

- Thanks for coming. - Thanks for... thanks for having us.

- Come on in. - No, no, no, no... no cameras.

I... it's... I just bring it everywhere I go. Sorry.

Okay... I hate you.

Like I'm not going to record this shit.

Well, my dad's name was Steve.

His dad's name was Steve.

His dad's name was Steve. I was the seventh Steve.

So I guess it stuck. I don't know. Maybe I'll call my kid Eight.

I feel bad...

...for 13.

Why?

- Unlucky. - When I was seven...

...my dad gave me wine.

Uh... I didn't like the taste of it.

He said, uh, eventually I'd...

...grow to love it.

I asked him why wine tasted so bitter.

And... and he said, uh...

...because half of the glass...

...was my mother's blood.

Was she... she...

She was okay. She was...

...in the other room.

Hooked up to a blood bag.

And she was all right with it.

And they...

...say religion doesn't hurt anybody.

That's what I associate with the number seven.

THE NIGHT HE DIED

God's going to...

...the sacrifice that we make.

I want to die. But I...

...don't have to die alone.

- One of you has to die with me. - Hey...

- Hey, hey, hey! - Only one of you...

...has to die. You pick.

You pick.

If you try and shoot me, I'll...

...shoot you. If you...

...try and run away, I'll shoot you both.

Pick!

Milk...

Seven, shoot him!

I shot him.

I shot him!

I fucking...

...shot him.

Seven...

Seven!

- Seven! Seven! - What?

Got you! I got you, bro!

I got you! Look at your face!

- I got you! - Wait...

Wait, wait...

Yeah. Yeah, dude.

It's fake.

So the prank, bro... the...

- ...suicide, the suicide attempt? - All fake.

All fake. All fake.

He's... he's an actor. Greg!

You can get...

What the hell? You drugged me?

Yeah... okay, okay, that was the questionable part, yeah.

But dude, come...

...on! Come on!

- Dude's a prick, bro! - A prick, bro!

This is fucking awesome!

- This is going to go viral! - Yes, dude!

An actor! Greg, you can get up.

Yeah, he's good. He's good. Dude, you're going to be famous!

Hey... and the blood?

Greg, come on.

You've got to be kidding me right now.

Greg...

Man, this guy's still playing. He's... he's a method actor.

Greg, come on. Get up.

What... I cannot believe you...

...Milk! What the fuck? I'm... I'm...

You did it! You did it!

What the fuck, dude!

What... what? No...

- No, no, no, no. - Yeah, yeah, you got me.

- No... - Yeah. You think... you think you can...

- ...do this to me? - Check his pulse.

I'm telling...

- ...you, man. - Whoa. That guy's not breathing.

- I know. - That guy's not...

...fucking... How the fuck did that happen?

Because... I... I don't know! I used your fucking blanks.

I used your fucking stuff, man.

- You used my blanks? - Yes!

The guy... God, I knew that guy was shady.

- Who? - The fucking guy I bought them from.

Who did you fucking buy them from?

I bought them from a shady guy, in, like, the black market or something.

He's a shady guy! Why would you do that? Why would you just buy a fucking...

- ...gun from... - It was for the prank!

- A gun store! You buy them at a gun store! - Blanks are illegal in California.

You can't buy them. I had to buy them from a guy.

Fuck... well, congratulations, man. You're a fucking murderer.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't... don't... don't say that out loud!

Fuck! Don't say that!

This is your fault, man. This is your plan.

No, you... this is you! I just reused your prank.

I just reused your shit.

I just put a creepy element on it, man.

Let's see the setup.

How do I start this?

TWO DAYS BEFORE THE PARTY

Um... Seven's gone,

and so I have a little bit of time to...

...talk about everything that's going on and everything that I plan on doing.

And, um... I have been up for the...

...past three days...

...trying to come up with a...

...plan. And let me tell...

...you, this has been no...

...easy feat. But I think I finally figured it out.

A headshot? If you want, I will.

Excuse me, sir.

- I... I'll keep working. - Excuse me, sir.

Can I help you?

Maybe.

You said you're... are you an actor?

- Yeah, why? - These...

...pranks are crazy.

Yeah, man.

Yeah, you got... you have a crazy following too.

Almost got a million views.

We made Seven think he was blind.

What do you think, Frank?

Should I do it?

Yeah, I mean, you've been...

...on the couch for the past three months.

Oh, come on. Have a little respect for your old man.

I have a lot of questions for you.

I don't have... You, you...

Do you have, like, an Instagram or something?

Yeah...

- I do. - Cool.

Hey, guys,

just a little...

...update. I had to leave the party for a second...

...'cause, um... I did...

...something. I told myself I wasn't going to do this...

...stuff anymore, but...

...here I go. I took Laura's...

...jacket. I know, I know. "Milk, how are you ever going to change if you keep..."

"Milk, how are you going to ever stop your patterns...

...if you just keep doing the same weird stuff?"

What do you mean, you don't like it?

What do you mean, you don't like it?

No, no, no...

- No... public bathrooms... - Hey, Milk! Hey, Milk!

I'm back.

Dude, this is your party, man. Join us!

Bring your hand, get over here. We're playing over...

- ...there. - Thanks.

Yeah, no problem, man. Thanks for coming.

Guys, I do not like randos, okay?

I got Greg coming any fucking second...

...now, and this Devon guy could fuck it all up.

What's going on? What's the problem?

The party's downstairs.

Well, I was just wondering why you invited that guy.

Oh my God, dude. This fucking prank that Seven just...

...pulled on me just made my plan so much easier.

He just used a real gun with blanks in it.

I know exactly what I need to put on you.

- There he is! - You got me.

- You got me. - Shut up, we're having a...

...moment here.

- What is wrong with you? - I'm...

I'm done with the fucking pranks!

- Sir, I'm sorry. Dude, it's fine. - It's not fine.

It is fine, man. Trust me. Trust me.

- You're drunk. - It's...

- ...a prank. It's a prank. - It's not a prank!

- I've already talked to Seven. - No, because it is...

- ...a prank. - It's not a prank!

- It's my prank. Okay? - No way.

Yeah, dude. He's...

...an actor. His name is Greg.

I hired him, I'm paying him. It's for Seven.

- No way! - I wasn't going to tell you.

Link's a good guy.

Yeah, he's safe.

Naomi too. She's good.

I love my friends.

I would never hurt my friends.

That does count...

...for something. I have morals.

I'm a good person.

I have...

...limits. That...

...matters.

But I kept Laura's jacket.

I know.

Last one, guys.

I...

- ...promise. Hello? - Hey, Laura! It's Milk.

I know, weird. I'm sorry. Um...

I'm here with Naomi. You left your jacket at...

- ...our place tonight. - Um, can I come get it tomorrow?

Uh, we... we can bring it to you tonight. We're bar-hopping,

- ...so it's fine. - No...

It's... it's not a big deal. I... I can get it tomorrow after my shift.

Okay, well, that sounds easy. Hey, listen, Laura... uh, Naomi

just told me we are literally in your area, so...

...I mean, it would be very silly...

...of us, honestly, to not bring it to you tonight.

Okay, then.

- Yeah. - Thank you.

Yeah... wait, wait! Hey, Laura...

...one more thing. Wait, wait, wait.

Milk, you're drunk.

Is it left or...

...right? Okay. Well, um... should you even be driving?

Hey, Laura, which street is it again?

'Cause, like, Naomi can't remember.

Are you serious? I'll just text you the address.

She's sending me the address.

I can't believe she just bought that.

Ladies and gentlemen...

...we are en...

...route! Here we go.

Hopefully I can get her to the car somehow.

Should be...

- ...fine. Hey! - Hey, Laura. How you doing?

- Good. - Got your jacket.

Okay. Um... where's Naomi?

She's in the car. She was just...

...what the fuck... why...

She was just like, "Hurry up." I don't know.

She's always mad at me...

...for no fucking...

...reason.

Okay, I'll go talk to her.

All right.

Naomi?

This is actually Jessica's ear.

There you go. You can kind of see it.

This is my beating brick.

I beat people with... with this brick, I beat people.

My gosh, look what this person just texted you.

Made you look! Yes! All right...

You know, Naomi really liked you.

I can tell.

Well... Jesus, Laura.

Got to break up with her over text? Low blow.

You...

...okay? Did you have fun at...

- ...the party? - I did.

What do you mean, you don't like it? What do you mean, you don't like it?

This is my happy mask.

It's clear, so you still see me,

but it's just... it's like a different version of me, you know?

Highlights my eyebrows...

...'cause you can't really see my eyebrows.

But you can still see my eyes.

Is this a...

...prank?

No. No. I'm...

...sorry. I'm sorry. No, this is not a...

...prank. Life's...

...unfair. You're...

...unlucky. Dude, I need you to go see what's downstairs.

- Why? - Because...

...somebody is down there.

You okay?

You ever thought about, like, reaching out to somebody, or...

That shit was awesome, bro.

That shit was so good.

The shit about the religion...

...and, like, the girl trapped inside of you.

What the fuck? Where did that even come from, bro?

I did a little...

...research. Hey, what's up?

- What, you recording? - Yeah.

Go ahead and take that mag out first.

You got to get rid of the blanks that are in there, and...

...then, if you come down here...

...something a little special.

Got to replace the blanks with the real bullets.

Once you're locked and loaded...

...bullets in the chamber. What do you think I...

...should do? Should I just...

...end it? Oh God, that is freaking scary.

I don't even want to put my finger on the trigger.

It's loaded. You dare me?

Oh... oh my gosh. Oh my gosh, that was so fucking close.

I almost did it.

I'm not going to do it.

I thought about it. No, I'm just kidding.

- Go to the desert, and... - I'm... I'm not going...

...to drug you. Well... well, no.

I'm not...

...going to drug anyone.

Okay, well, that is part of the prank...

- ...and... - Well, I don't care. Figure something else out.

You can't drug someone for a prank!

- I... I quit. I quit. - No, no, no, no, please...

...you can't quit halfway through.

We have done way worse stuff to each other...

...in the past, in this prank show.

Whenever we started it, we made, like, a trust that...

...we could do these crazy things to each other. He knows!

He's used to this shit.

- Enough. - No...

Listen, listen, listen. I will drug him. It...

...has nothing to do with you. I will bring the...

...wine. I will supply everything.

It has nothing to do with...

"Drugging" isn't even the right word.

Okay? I shouldn't be... I'm making it sound worse than it even is.

It's medicine. It's like sleeping...

...medicine. Please. This...

...conversation never happened.

No, it...

...didn't. So you'll do...

- ...it? - Do what?

Okay, no cameras at the dinner.

- All right. - Get out! You're annoying me.

Where's my wallet? Where's my wallet?

Did you check your pants pockets?

Have you checked your pants pockets?

They're not in my pants pockets.

I don't leave my shit in my pants pockets.

It's called gaslighting.

It's, like, when you prank somebody,

but they think it's their fault.

But yeah, that's what I'm doing.

I need you to pay for it. I told you I lost my wallet, remember?

Oh yeah, I thought I saw it on the coffee table.

God damn it, Milk!

I told you, no...

...camera.

Sorry. All we got is a tarp.

What do you want to...

...do? I don't know...

...Milk. What do you want...

...to do? I say we put...

...him in the tarp, and we bury him here, and we...

...leave him. We got to leave him here.

Okay. How do you want to...

...do that? We get the shovels.

- We dig a hole as deep as we can. - What...

...shovels? You got a shovel?

- No. - We go... we should go, we should go...

We put his body on the tarp, we put him in the trunk...

...we take him with us, we go get some shovels...

- ...and then we come... - Us? Into town?

What do you want? I... I don't know, I don't know! I've never fucking killed...

...a guy in the...

...desert! So I don't fucking...

...know! Sorry. Look, we can't... we... we can't leave him here, okay?

If someone finds him, we're going...

...to go to jail. We're going to go straight to fucking jail.

Is that what you want to do?

You want to go straight to fucking jail?

- Jail... this is going to come down on us. - I just... I...

- I just don't want to go to jail. - Exactly.

I just want to go back, live my life, and do my thing.

There's a way we can do that.

There's a way we get out of this, I fucking swear there is.

There's a fucking way. We take his body...

- All right, we'll take his fucking... - We bury him, okay?

We get the fucking shovels, we bury him, and we leave him here...

...and we forget about it.

All right. All right. Let's do it.

- Milk, what do I get? - Get, um... two shovels.

A... a Boston Digger. See if they have a pickaxe.

For the...

...body? No, no. It just... it breaks up the...

...gravel. Okay.

Hey, Milk... it's starting to smell...

...in here. This was not part of the fucking plan. Not part of the fucking...

...plan! How did I forget the fucking shovels?

Fuck! I don't want...

...to get arrested in a fucking Home Depot parking lot.

Oh, fuck. Look who just happens to be over there.

A fucking cop. There's a cop parked right over...

...there. What is...

...he doing? Oh, Jesus Christ. Why the fuck is he walking over...

...here? Why the fuck is he walking over here?

What the fuck...

Why the fuck is he walking over here?

Jesus fucking...

...Christ. Oh my God, he's right fucking there.

He's right fucking...

...there. Keep the door...

...closed. How you doing?

- Officer. - You know where you parked?

The Home Depot?

Okay. You're in a handicap spot with no permit displayed.

- Um, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. - Yeah...

I can move... we can move right away.

You know I could write you a citation for this.

I know, sir. I'm sorry. That won't be necessary.

We can move.

Yeah, you can move, but I should still...

- ...cite you. - Okay, my friend's in there right now...

...and we're going to be out of here really quickly.

- I'm going to have to write you up. - Yes, sir.

- I'll be right back, okay? - Yes, sir.

Hang tight.

All right. No, no, no... fuck, no.

No, no, no, no, no. Not right now.

Not right...

...now. No, no, no...

...Seven. Go back.

Go...

...back! Go back!

Oh, thank God.

Fuck!

You okay?

Yes, sir.

You just scared...

...me. You seem on edge.

We're just in a hurry.

We're just in a hurry.

- Here you go. - Thank you...

- ...sir. Let's go, let's go. - You okay?

- Yes, we're fine. You're freaking me out. - You left...

...your fucking phone in the car, by the way.

What?

There's things in the trunk!

There's a fucking cop over here, 'cause we parked...

...in a fucking handicap parking...

...spot. You parked in a fucking handicap parking lot!

THE DAY THEY DIED

He's fucked up, bro.

It's got to be subtle. If it's too visible,

they'll just be like, "Didn't you change out my pillow?"

It's got to be a gradual, slow thing.

Milk, you're so mean.

You know what, though?

Seven's not that good of a person.

But Milk...

...Seven's our favorite.

I...

...know. Seven's everybody's favorite.

But look how easy it was to turn him into a killer, you know?

He locked me out of the channel.

I don't even have the password to our own channel.

Said my ideas aren't creative.

How am I not creative? It's supposed to be a partnership.

- A little sad over there. - Do you want eggs or not?

There's the prank guy!

I can't wait to see it... all of it... again.

It was good, man. Man, it was good.

Yeah, he's pretty shaken up.

- What prank? - Can I tell her? Please, come...

...on.

Yeah. You know the guy at the party?

- The creepy guy? - Yeah.

That was all Milk's plan.

It's his prank.

What? For real?

Yeah, yeah. We used the squib, and...

...we shot it. Ended with a bang and everything. It was pretty...

...cool. Hey, dude, where's...

...Seven? He's...

...upstairs. Let's go.

How does it feel to be a part of the best prank ever?

Hey, dude. Why is it so dark in here?

What, are you, like, a fucking...

...vampire? What's...

...up? Um... I'm just here to check on you, dude.

What does it feel like to be part of the best prank we've...

...ever done?

Yeah...

Yeah. Uh, dude... are you...

...all right? I'm...

...good. I'm...

...good. Link just told me about the fucking prank.

Yeah.

Bro... why not?

What the fuck is wrong...

...with you? What's fucking wrong...

...with you? You fucking with me right now?

- Fuck you! - Are...

...you fucking with me right now...

...Milk? Fuck...

...you! Fuck!

- Good, good, good. - Hey, hey!

Hey! What the fuck is going...

...on? Get...

...off! Fuck! You know...

- ...I need to go. - You need to go home.

- Get the fuck out! - Go home.

- Go home! - I...

...quit this channel.

- Dude, I quit! - Hey, guys.

I'm back in my spot.

I just come here sometimes, when...

...I'm, like, bored, or, like, scared, or sad, or lonely.

Got a surprise for you.

Check it out.

There she is.

There she is. Kept her alive.

That's the surprise: she's still alive.

Might as well be dead, though. No...

...food or water for, what, like, two...

...days. I'll finish...

...it. Oh my...

...gosh. Let's see what we got...

...here. What's up! Hey, what's up to my subscribers. Just gone viral.

It's okay.

She's gone. She's gone. That's it. All right...

...thanks for tuning in. Thanks for subscribing.

Thanks for being a...

...fan. I'm just kidding...

...guys. Next time! What's up, guys! This is how you really fuck with...

...somebody. Yo, Seven! I'm home! We need to talk.

Dude, he's going to be so confused. Hold on.

This is hilarious.

He's going to text me any second now,

and he's going to be like, "Where'd you go?"

Oh, shit, he's calling.

- Yo, what's up? - Hey, where'd you...

- ...go? - What?

Where'd you go? You said you needed me.

- I was... I'm downstairs. - I'm...

...at the store. I'm checking out.

- No, you're not. You were just here. - What?

I've been gone for, like, 45 minutes, dude.

I'll be back soon. We can talk then.

Are you fucking around with me right now?

- What? - Fuck... fuck... no...

Milk, you were just here.

- You were just talking to me! - Bro, I haven't been home.

- What are you talking about? - Damn it! What the fuck?

He is thinking he's hearing things, bro.

He is fucked up. This is working.

And now I can't go home for, like, 20 minutes.

I swear it, dude. I got a text from Greg, and it...

...said, like, "I know I'm dead...

...but I can still see you."

It's... it was right fucking here!

- What are you talking about? - It was right here! I heard it fucking ring!

Fuck!

- Okay, so where is it? - I...

- ...don't know! - Milk, I think you're paranoid.

- Is he alive? - There's no way he's alive.

Don't fuck with me, okay, Milk?

We checked his pulse, and we buried him.

Don't fucking tell me I'm paranoid.

I'm not. I know what I saw. I know what happened.

There was a fucking text right...

...there! God damn...

...it! I'm sorry...

I'm sorry...

I'm sorry. It's not...

...true. It's not true. It's not...

...true. Just get out...

...of your fucking head!

I'm sorry. I'm...

...sorry.

Fuck! Yo, Seven! Someone's at the...

...door, man.

- Who? - Hey! Get the fucking camera out of my face.

Sorry, man. What the...

...fuck happened to your face?

Anyways... uh, can you guys...

- ...talk? - Yeah, yeah. All right, cool.

When you have a second...

...next door.

- Fuck. - Cool.

I've called my dad, like, 20 times,

and it rings... it stops halfway through, like...

...he's declining my calls.

I'm all that he's got, so I'm a little worried about...

...him. He just dropped us off and then left. I...

- ...mean... - Wait, what?

Really?

Did he say where he was going?

Uh, yeah... I mean, no, he didn't say where he was...

...going, but he seemed pretty excited about wherever it was.

Right. He went...

- ...to Vegas. - Really?

I mean, yeah. He does that all the time.

I mean, he always loses.

Mystery solved.

- Are you okay? You okay? - Yeah, he's fine.

- He's fine. - Yeah...

...yeah, I'm good.

He'll probably be back soon, man.

Yeah, I mean, he's a little older. I... you know, I just...

...didn't... Sorry, guys.

- Sorry. - No, sorry... we weren't much help.

I know that you probably hate me...

...right now. But...

...we're in this together.

And if you think that I'm not...

...scared, then you're...

...wrong. You seem to be handling it...

...pretty well.

Well, then...

...maybe you should be handling this a little bit better. Because...

...if you want to quit the channel, and you want to...

...stop doing everything that we've worked for, then fine. But you...

...need to know...

...the stakes that are here, okay?

We could go to fucking jail.

And we could go to jail for the rest of our fucking...

...lives. I think we should figure out...

...Frank.

No. No, I'm not going...

- ...to kill anybody else. - Okay.

- No, I agree. - I'm not killing anybody else.

I'm not saying we have to kill him.

- What are you saying, huh? - I think we should text...

...Frank... as Greg.

You're fucking...

...sick, man.

I'm just trying to figure...

...this out. I'm not... I'm not...

We text Frank as Greg.

We turn the phone off, we bury it...

...and then this...

...is...

...over. Fine. Fuck...

...you. "Hey, Frank...

...went to...

...Vegas for a...

...bit. Be back soon." It's good.

So he's missing. He goes missing in Vegas, okay?

People go missing in Vegas. I'm pretty sure.

He's old.

I won't let you go to jail.

I promise.

- Thanks. - Say...

- ...it back. - I won't let you go to jail.

Okay. Okay, good. Bury the phone...

...in the desert.

And then... who's that?

It better be Link or Naomi.

Fuck...

What?

- Fuck! - What?

- What? - It's...

- ...Frank. It's fucking Frank! - Okay...

...well, answer.

And say what?

Just play it cool, bro.

I don't think I can play it cool.

Fucking answer! Just fucking...

If you... if you don't fucking answer...

- I don't want to go to prison. - We're...

- ...not. - I don't want to go to fucking...

- ...prison! - We're good. Just please answer. Play it...

- ...cool. - I'm shaking. Okay.

- Here we go, okay. - Hey! Yo.

Okay, so I went looking for my dad's...

...phone through Find My iPhone.

I looked all through my apartment,

you know, thinking that he may have forgotten it the entire time. But...

...then he texts me.

So he has his phone.

Am I part of your fucking prank?

No. He was here.

- Wait, he's here? - No...

- ...he was here. - He was here.

Yeah, he was here.

So why... you...

...tell me.

Well, he told... he told us not to tell you,

because he said you were a worrywart.

What the fuck, Dad?

And he said he was, uh... he was going to the store.

He was going to grab a few things... then he left.

Okay. Okay. So why was he here?

He just wanted payment for the prank...

- ...in cash. - Jesus fucking Christ.

Okay. We got to...

...kill Frank. We got to...

...kill him. Jeffrey...

...Dahmer. Harold Shipman.

Ted Bundy. These guys...

...are known as the...

...greatest serial killers of all time.

And although I pay my respects to them, what...

...I'm about to do will make me go down in...

...history as the greatest and most creative serial killer that's ever lived.

We just got kicked out of the house about 30 minutes ago.

That was crazy.

Seven quit the channel.

Milk and... Milk and Seven got into a heated debate.

But me and Naomi are going to dig up some details on...

...this, and figure out what the hell happened.

But you got to get him to the restroom.

The restroom? Why?

I don't know. Because if he's in the restroom, then, like...

...it's easier to clean up that area.

I'm going to vomit.

Look, I've never done this shit before, okay?

I'm trying to figure this shit out, just like you.

How do I get him into the...

- ...bathroom? - Um... say you got to use the restroom.

Does he follow me in there?

Uh... say, um... "Can we talk...

...in a more private area?"

What if he says the bedroom?

Dude, I don't fucking know!

Okay... he's a big guy.

Distract him. I don't want him to see me coming.

Okay. I'll try.

I'm just really fucking scared.

And then I'll stab him, okay? And then I think...

I thought you were going to shoot...

...him. No, dude, we have to... we have to stab him. We can't shoot him.

It's too loud.

You're going to... how are you going to stab him? No, you...

- ...can't stab him. - I am going to stab him...

...Seven! Because I don't want to go to fucking jail!

Are you going to know when to come in?

Do you still have those camera glasses from the spy prank?

Still upset about...

...Lara? Fuck...

...her.

Yep. Live.

Livecasting. Just in case.

- Whoa, whoa! What the fuck? - What?

Don't put it in your fucking pants like that.

Where else am I supposed to put it?

Don't just... I don't know! It's a fully loaded...

- ...gun, dude. - Sorry, sorry.

Just, like, put it...

...in your pocket or something.

- I'm putting it... - No, no, you're going to shoot your dick...

...off. Okay, Seven. Use everything to your advantage, all right? Just...

...whatever happens, just roll with...

...it. Okay. I'm so...

...excited. Kind...

...of nervous. Dude, Seven is freaking out right now.

He is going to...

...be so depressed.

Hey, those are...

- ...spy glasses. - What?

Those are fucking spy glasses.

- 100%. - Yes, they...

...are. I see the camera.

Hi, Milk. Hi, internet. Come on...

...in. You know, I thought this was a prank.

I wasn't sure, but now I get it.

- Don't ruin it. - These fucking...

...pranks are so fucking annoying.

Okay, you have me worried. It's...

...not fucking funny.

Look, we... we didn't mean... we were...

...just trying to scare you. That's... that's all.

You did fucking scare me!

Where the fuck is my dad? Where the fuck is my dad?

Just chill the...

...fuck out. This is not fucking...

...dude, he's... he's... he's in the... the fucking bathroom. Seriously, he's...

...in the fucking bathroom.

Fucking show me where he is.

- Okay! Right fucking now! - I'm going, I'm going, I'm going. Jesus.

Oh, that's my cue. Fuck.

Okay, open the fucking curtain.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, look. Here it is.

- Okay, just chill out for a... - Open the fucking...

...curtain! Let us finish the prank. I mean, if we... if...

...we don't...

Fuck the prank! And fuck you too!

All right, here's...

...Greg. Prank's over. All right, all right. It's over now.

All right. Okay. Fuck it, I'm calling...

...the fucking...

...cops! Shut up, Seven! Shut up! Fuck!

Fuck! You're being loud! You're being loud!

Stop! Stop! Stop!

Stop! Go...

...stop! Fuck!

- Go in! - Milk?

Hey, guys.

We got to figure out what happened in that prank.

Do you think they're already editing the...

...videos? SD...

...cards. Well, Milk normally keeps his camera bag right...

...here. Uh, I...

...don't know. There's a camera bag in here.

No, that's his old camera bag.

- The SD cards aren't... - You never...

...know. What...

- ...keeps... what is that thing? - What is that thing?

This is... more like, keeps his porn in there.

I don't think we should be touching this, especially if he's not here.

What if this has something to do with the fight, though?

That box looks sketchy...

...as fuck. Don't...

- ...open it. - What the fuck?

- What the fuck? - Is that...

...blood? This was Regan Denver.

No, that can't...

...be. Who are these...

...people?

What the fuck is...

...this? Fuck. Julie. It's probably just another setup for a...

...prank. What else is...

...in there? The key...

An address.

Fuck. Fuck...

...that's... come on. God.

- I'm trying. I'm taking a picture. - Come on, come on, come on...

...take the picture. The...

...fuck out...

...of... Oh! What's up, guys? What are you doing here? Uh...

Link left his jacket in some...

...room. Got it. Cool. Um...

I was just tagging along.

What's with the trash...

...bag? Uh, the...

...neighbor has a dog, so me and Seven are just... we...

...weren't playing... shit.

Yeah, 'cause we got stuff. We're...

...doing stuff. I just ran into Link and Naomi...

...and they saw me with these trash...

...bags. Honestly, I do not think I handled that situation well.

The tarp. Got...

...the mop. Yeah...

...he's in bad...

...shape. Yo...

...Seven, come...

...on. Help me out. This guy's heavy. We got to fucking move. We got to...

...get him on the tarp.

Come...

...on. Just turn me...

...in. Just turn me in.

Milk, now is...

...not the time for this shit...

...bro. Just fucking turn me...

...in. Do you... do you see this? Do...

...you see this fucking shit? We...

...got to fucking clean this. Dude, you're going...

...to make me do this by myself? Come on!

- You can turn me in. - No...

...I can't turn you in, because then I'm going to go to fucking...

- ...jail. - You could fucking kill...

...me. Just fucking kill me, Milk.

Just turn me here and fucking kill me.

'Cause I'm fucking...

...done.

Fuck!

I'm sorry. I'm... I'm fucking sorry. God...

...damn it, Seven. He's fucking...

...heavy, dude.

God damn... right where he wants us to land.

- We know this is a prank. It's going to be around this. - We...

...for 45 minutes. Where...

...did you bring us? God damn it.

What makes this the greatest kill in the history of serial art?

If you haven't figured it out by now...

...you're not going to.

What better way to kill someone...

...than to not kill someone,

but rather put all the pieces together...

...to make someone kill themselves?

Seven was actually supposed to be my sixth kill,

but then I killed Laura.

So Seven...

...is my seventh kill.

I didn't even think about that. And the fucker is...

...about to be gone. Like, he is on his way out. I'm going...

...to go up to his corpse...

...and I'm going to say, "How's that for being creative?"

What do you mean, you don't like...

...it? What...

...do you mean, you don't like it?

♪ I just can't let it down... ♪

♪ ...for good reason ♪

FROM THE MIND OF CURRY BARKER

♪ New groves in a vintage town and I'm in too deep ♪

♪ Hey, hey, I just can't let it down for good reason ♪

♪ Let it down for good reason ♪

♪ New groves in a vintage town and I'm in too deep ♪

♪ Drifting down the river like debris ♪

♪ Alright now, cueing on to what is left of the meeting ♪