Original subtitles

Dear Dr. Climax.

I'm Suda. I'll be upfront about it. I'm a working girl at the Lot Canal.

I've been in this line of work for a long time now.

As I'm about to turn 40 very soon,

standing around waiting for clients always leaves me with body odor.

150 baht. It covers all services.

Come closer.

Oh, can't you see it clearly?

Don't squeeze.

Let's go.

Lately, I've been seeing this client who's really into me.

It's quite unusual with him.

It's as if he chose me because of my BO.

Should we go to a hotel?

I can't hold it anymore.

And we always do it in his car.

This underwear,

can you sell it to me?

120.

Besides the smell,

he was really into my bright red lace-patterned underwear.

He wanted to buy it from me and took a big whiff.

He even wore it on his head.

And he always makes me lick a mole on his hand to turn him on.

It's a big, hairy mole.

At first, I tried not to overthink it.

I thought it'd be a one-time thing.

But the next day, he came back again.

This time, he booked me for the whole week.

Besides being into sniffing and licking my armpits,

he would also wear my red underwear

on his head every time we had sex.

When his face got close to mine,

I'd catch a musty whiff of the underwear, like it's never been washed.

I don't know if he also made anyone else wear it.

I'm so scared I might catch a disease from him.

Doctor, am I going to be okay?

You have gonorrhea.

FEMALE REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM MALE REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM

Gonorrhea?

How could this be? Is it harmful?

It could be caused by various factors, but it's commonly transmitted via sex.

Actually, you don't need to worry. Whoa.

Don't worry. It's not that harmful.

You and your husband might want to be more careful with hygiene.

For the time being, avoid having sex.

I just told you to be cautious not too long ago,

but you went and put a picture of a beaver in the middle of page seven?

My wife gave me hell for two hours. You should've heard it.

She even went off on my grandpa!

But it's the first time in Bangkok Express history

that our sales beat Siam Bulletin, leaving it in the dust.

Someone needs to be held accountable.

Find out who did it and give them the boot.

Then there's no need to look further.

It was my mistake.

I'd like to take responsibility by resigning from the Bangkok Express.

Hey. Choo.

You don't need to go this far.

All this time,

they've always used dirty tactics at the Siam Bulletin.

Our approach might seem a bit risky,

but I believe it can impart real knowledge to our readers.

We need to keep moving forward with confidence...

and let time be the judge of this column.

I'm sorry. Thank you, Choo.

I'll cut your pay by 50% for half a year.

What? 50%?

Why don't you just fire me instead?

But this time, you got to be my hero.

Really?

Of course.

You did it to save the column.

NATTAWUT CLINIC

VENEREAL DISEASES

OPEN MON - SAT 10:00 A.M. - 3:30 P.M.

Tukta.

I didn't see anyone outside.

Aoy and Aeaw asked to leave early. They probably have plans.

And what brings you here?

Well...

I haven't had my period yet.

And... have you been taking the vitamins I gave you regularly?

I think I forgot one day.

3:40 p.m.

How long do we have to wait?

Two days?

Two hours.

It's so fast these days.

I'm so excited.

Don't you have to go and do your research project?

Nat.

Is this...

What does it mean?

Not pregnant.

It's okay, Nat.

I'll try to do better next time.

Don't worry about it.

Let's go home.

Tukta.

I'll switch to doing the research in the morning so I don't work late.

So you won't have to stay up and wait for me.

Sound good?

One last bit of news to close out the day. Chief Siri Songsri, newly appointed

and on his first day in office, received a grand welcome.

But things took an unexpected turn.

Today, I, Dr. Pornchai,

would like to speak with the new director-general.

The MP Pornchai barged in with reporters, nearly causing a fistfight.

I'm asking for a bit of your time. I have just one question.

Why did the police allow the Bangkok Express

to have the audacity to publish a picture of a ****

in the middle of its newspaper?

If the police take no action and allow anyone

to publish pictures of *****,

what will become of our youth?

The Bangkok Express published an obscene and pornographic column

with a picture of a ****.

Hey!

Wow, he actually did that.

Captain, Chief Siri wants to see you now.

Hey.

I didn't realize you came to work this early.

Since Choo asked me to help you, I've had to do my work in the morning.

You've been skipping out for days.

I've been very busy at the clinic.

So I've chosen to come here in the morning before going there.

And with fewer people here, I can focus more on answering the letters.

All right, then.

Another gay issue?

Doesn't Dr. Climax have to help everyone?

But we just went through the beaver issue.

And you've seen how our country isn't that open yet.

We're not ready for it.

If we don't start now, when will we be ready?

Honestly,

is our country not ready,

or is it you who's not ready to admit

that you're gay?

Here we go again. You know I'm not gay.

Why do you keep saying that?

Could it be that

you don't want me to be straight?

Why wouldn't you want me to be straight?

Do you...

have a crush on me?

Doctor... aren't you a little full of yourself?

It's me, Linda.

If I like someone,

or if I want to do it with someone, I don't need an excuse.

Then prove it.

I...

I forgot to use protection.

Hey, you just did a checkup on me the other day.

That's right.

You have an IUD.

And... are you okay with it?

Meaning?

That I made you mine.

That's so old-fashioned.

Are you sure you made me yours?

Didn't I?

Or did you make me yours?

No one belongs to anyone.

We just screwed.

We screwed.

That's right.

We screwed.

You're all set.

Well then,

I'm off to work.

Will you be home late?

What?

You talked to me like I was your housewife.

Why did you come in so early today?

What?

To work, of course.

See you.

Nat.

I'm almost out of vitamins.

I'll take care of it.

Scream.

But your mom...

Scream, Linda.

What?

Tukta.

Scream, Tukta.

You seem... a little different today.

Really?

I don't think so.

Captain Pao, you're three minutes late.

I'm sorry.

I got tied up with an important case.

So my case isn't important.

I really don't get it, Doctor.

What's your problem with those newspapers?

It's because I believe a good life

must be a life with discipline.

And if I see something

that could make our society lose discipline...

I'll get rid of it.

Because I believe

the only way our country can move forward

is with order and discipline.

There's no place for rule breakers.

So tell me how much time you need

to track down and expose that Dr. Limp Dick.

Don't forget, Chief Siri has assigned you to coordinate with me directly.

Let's say, within a month,

I'll deliver Dr. Climax to you.

Well then...

I'm looking forward to working with you, Captain Black Hand.

ART DIRECTOR

You haven't responded to Ms. Suda's letter.

I plan to answer them together in the fetish edition.

What do you mean?

Take a look at this letter.

A wife wrote that her husband likes to

wear someone's red underwear on his head during sex.

She doesn't like it but won't tell him, like in Ms. Suda's case.

What a coincidence. I'm wearing a red pair too.

Fetish lovers often like bright colors

because they find them arousing...

Do you want to know... what it feels like to have a fetish?

Dear Ms. Suda.

What you've encountered with your regular client

is a taste for certain sex acts,

or, in simple terms, a fetish.

This can manifest in various behaviors.

One common example is the act of smelling items

like bras,

underwear,

or shapewear to increase sexual arousal.

If one occasionally engages in these acts

to add new excitement and spice up one's love life,

then it's totally normal

and not harmful at all.

Let's consider it from another angle. For partners who trust each other,

exploring new experiences together

pushes the old boundaries they've set.

It's lovemaking

that will foster a closer and deeper bond in their relationship.

I've never felt like this before.

Me neither.

Really?

You're not... just saying that to make me feel good?

Hey,

what do you take me for?

Well...

I just heard... you've...

been around a bit.

I'm sorry.

What you heard...

might not be the truth.

I just

wanted to know

if it was special for you.

Because it was for me.

Hey, Doc, heading to the clinic?

Yes.

Hey, is something up?

Nothing.

Did something happen with Linda?

Besides answering letters, I have to report everything to you too?

Easy now, Doc.

I just wanted to make sure bringing you on isn't causing issues with anyone.

Can I help you, big bro?

Bro, are you the new security guard?

Yes, it's my first day here.

Is Dr. Climax really a doctor?

Bro, that's top secret around here.

Only a few people in this building know.

-Really? -Yeah.

So I guess you don't know either.

Bro... let me tell you,

there are no secrets at the Bangkok Express

that I don't know.

Really?

But after the way you insulted me,

I'm not sure if I can tell you.

-Let's keep pushing. -Wait, I'm sorry, bro.

I didn't mean to insult you.

Please don't be upset.

It's fine. I'm not the type to hold grudges.

So, who's Dr. Climax exactly?

I can't think straight right now.

What?

But if...

if...

-Yeah, that. -Right.

-Yup. -Okay, I got it.

-Right. -Secrets come at a price.

Exactly.

-Thanks, big bro. -Sure.

Bro,

only five baht?

What? Oh!

It's top secret. Right?

Top secrets must come at a high price, no?

-Yes, that's right. -Right.

-This seems about right. -Okay.

-Thank you so much. -Sure.

-Bro. -Yeah?

So who is...

It's me. I'm Dr. Climax.

What?

What?

Hey, despite my looks, I have a doctorate.

Bro, don't mess with me.

You don't believe me? Hey, you guys.

This police officer

came here looking for Dr. Climax.

-I'm not a cop. I'm a security guard. -Hey, bro.

What security guard hides a gun at his ankle?

-Oh. -Quite the master of disguise, huh?

-Since you're here... -Yes?

Guys, can you tell this police officer who Dr. Climax is?

I'm Dr. Climax.

I'm Dr. Climax.

I'm Dr. Climax.

I'm Dr. Climax.

-It's me. -It's me. I'm Dr. Climax.

I'm Dr. Climax.

-Bro, I'm Dr. Climax. -It's me.

I don't wanna know anymore. Bye.

Not smooth at all, were you? See you, bro!

Have all of Dr. Climax's letters delivered to Tien's office for now.

Linda, go through them and pass them on to Dr. Nat.

Sure.

Isn't the art department busy right now?

I can bring them to him.

Good. If we have to take them to the clinic,

it'll be more convenient since you have a car.

Our art department isn't safe anymore.

Let's keep Dr. Nat away from this place entirely.

Sounds good.

Our undercover guy got caught.

You couldn't pull off a simple task like this.

How would you catch Sua Yai?

Sorry, Captain.

That's all right.

I've got a plan B.

I'll do it myself.

Dear Dr. Climax.

I'm CTP.

I've got a rather strange taste in sex acts.

Over the years,

I've found that I love to sniff women's underwear,

particularly unwashed underwear.

This really captures the Cold War spirit.

The more it has that sweaty and musty smell,

the more it arouses me.

The problem is my wife's smell isn't strong enough for me.

So I had to find the right smell from a working girl.

I've dreamed of having a threesome with two women for a long time,

but the issue is my wife isn't on board.

Do you have any advice on persuading my wife to get in on this?

Best regards, CTP.

It's the final lot.

What's this?

Gross.

Hey. They're on the move.

BANGKOK EXPRESS

The coast is clear. Over.

I think this is it.

Yeah.

You're very close to the signal.

EDITORIAL WRITERS

JULPITAK RESIDENCE

It's fantastic that you've finally decided to flaunt what you've got.

Pardon me, Jaem?

EDITORIAL WRITERS

-Tien. -Hey.

Can I come with you?

I'll help with anything. I'll carry stuff, and if...

Can I?

Here, wait for me in the car.

Tien.

Do you have a problem with me?

No. I have no problem with you.

It's clear you don't want me to see Dr. Nat.

That's right.

I just think I should help rein in Dr. Nat.

Someone like him is prone to go off the rails at any time.

He's a grown man, not a child.

Exactly. He's a grown man. He's mature enough to...

To have sex with whoever he wants,

just like you.

Never mind.

Oh shit! Shit.

They kept letters for Dr. Climax in Thong Tien's office.

I searched the room but couldn't find Dr. Climax's original manuscripts.

That writer?

How would he have the knowledge to give advice?

I couldn't find Dr. Climax's documents.

I think

Dr. Climax's original manuscripts must be kept hidden somewhere.

-Captain! -Captain Pao?

Dr. Climax's letters are on the move.

Hey! Captain!

That car over there, that's Thong Tien.

He's finally showing his true colors. Go after him!

INSECT BUSTERS

Captain, shouldn't we speed up a little?

Relax.

Or they'll know we're after them.

What's up, sweetheart?

Mister, do you happen to know where the Cupid Hotel is?

Oh, the Cupid Hotel?

See? A fortune teller said I'd meet my soulmate.

The Cupid Hotel, right?

Go straight and then take a left.

Continue through three intersections.

On your right, you'll see the sign.

Make a turn there and go in.

That sounds confusing.

Could you take me there?

Hey, I'll take her there. You have to drive the van.

Hey, I don't think so. You're not familiar with the area.

I'll take her there, and you can drive the van.

I'll take her. You drive.

-Hey. -Hey, what the hell are you two doing?

-Where did they go? -What?

Hurry up and follow them!

Wait, I still don't know the way.

-Let's talk later. -Hurry!

-It's green. Go! -You're the driver.

Oh, right.

I have to work now.

NATTAWUT CLINIC

-Wait in the car. -Okay.

That's right.

You can't get away from me anyway.

What?

Hey!

-The signal just died. -What?

Why aren't you looking? I gotta drive, so look for them.

I'm looking, but I can't see them.

Hey, stop arguing! Pull over!

Delivery for Dr. Nat.

Oh, then...

Tien. Is everything all right?

Doc, come this way.

A cop came looking for you at the Bangkok Express.

Don't go there for now. I'll bring the letters to you, got it?

Yes.

What the hell?

Captain!

Hey, stop right there!

Hey! Stop!

Why was he parked here?

NATTAWUT CLINIC

VENEREAL DISEASES

How can I help you?

Dr. Climax is here, isn't he?

There's no such person.

Are you Dr. Climax?

Oh! No, he's not. There's no one by that name.

You can't come in. I'm sorry. You can't!

-May we enter? -No!

-The doctor's with a patient! -Wait here.

May we enter?

Officers! You can't go in!

Who are you, gentlemen? How did you get in here?

It's you, isn't it? You're Dr. Climax.

I think there's been a big misunderstanding.

Search.

Sir, you can't do this.

Please don't...

Sir, please stop.

Sir.

Ms. Waew?

Oh my gosh!

Waew?

Waew.

Why are you here?

Why am I here?

To get checked for the gonorrhea you gave me.

It's your sleeping around that keeps giving it to me.

And who knows whose panties you brought home!

And you had to bring your men to watch me spread my legs too? You sicko!

Jeez!

Wearing a glove, you must think you look so fucking dapper, don't you?

Ew, your hairy mole!

Are you even human anymore?

Please calm down, Ms. Waew.

I'm sorry, Doctor.

Please, officer.

Please.

Tien, where are you headed next?

-I've got plans. -A date with a girl?

Let your favorite brother come along.

Pretty please?

No, it's for grown-ups.

Come on, Tien, you super handsome, dapper dude.

You're the kindest brother in the world. I love you so much.

What is this?

Did you steal a letter, Pol?

No, I didn't steal it. I just saw something bulging in the letter,

so I held onto it...

Pol, open it.

What's this?

What is it?

Shit.

Tien, what's the matter? What are you doing?

Hey, Tien! What are you doing?

Tien!

Dear Dr. Climax.

I have a problem...

Are you finished with work?

Yes, I've just called it a day.

Then I came at the right time.

Should we go grab something to eat?

Sure.

-I need to use the restroom first. -All right.

Dear Dr. Climax.

I have a problem I need your advice on.

I've been married for many years.

My wife is beautiful and perfect in every aspect.

However, the problem is her performance in the bedroom is so bland and rigid.

It's like making love to a bolster pillow.

My wife and I make love at the same time every day, almost like a permanent job.

I've been enduring it, and it's become so boring for me now.

Sometimes, I think of finding new sexual excitement to fulfill my life.

Doctor, do you have any advice for me?

From a man who's suffering.