Original subtitles

(Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Lewis, don't tell me you have a lot

on your mind.

I've got a lot on my mind.

I am buried in paperwork.

I've got an office full of whining, annoying

patients.

Sorry, just making a point.

And if that isn't bad enough, now he's

here.

Oh, good morning to you too.

Dammit, Lewis.

I bought the present and I wrapped it.

All you had to do was sign the

card.

And even that was too much trouble.

Yeah, Marty, I know you and Lewis are

having problems, but don't you think you might

be overreacting?

I mean, you already bought the card.

Why didn't you just sign his name?

Because it's my damn birthday.

Oh, happy birthday.

Say, are we having cake?

Guess not.

Dr. Becker, there's a kid in your office.

He says you're his godfather.

Oh, hey, you're kidding.

I know, you're not even Italian.

Someone asked you to be a godfather?

Yeah, my college roommate.

How many people did he ask before he

got to you?

Hey, I happen to care a lot about

that kid.

In fact, we have a very special relationship,

which is probably why Alex decided to follow

in my footsteps and go pre-med at

NYU.

His name is Adam and he's at Columbia.

Oh, that's pretty close.

Hi.

So, Adam, how are you?

Good.

Good?

Well, that's good.

Yeah, good.

Oh, I know.

Want to sit down?

Yes, that'd be good.

So, how are you?

Still good.

Good, good.

My dad's coming to town.

Oh, thank God.

You know, we'll be able to get together.

Yeah.

Yeah, look, you know, this whole godfather thing,

I'm not really very good at it.

Well, hey, we're just talking, right?

I'm not very good at that either.

You could ask me how I like school,

if I'm dating anyone.

Okay.

That.

School's fine.

And yes, I'm dating someone.

And I like him a lot.

Well, that's great.

That's great.

You know, it's good that we're catching up

like this.

Didn't you hear me?

I said him.

I'm dating a guy.

I'm gay.

Well, I heard you.

I just thought that might be something I

was supposed to know already.

Actually, that's the reason I'm here.

I was hoping for some advice on how

to tell my dad.

Oh, wow.

Oh, geez.

Well, I just thought, you know, if you'd

call me, it'd be to ask me for

money, and I'd know the answer to that,

but...

Boy, this, this, this is big.

Maybe I could just get a Valium to

give Dad before I tell him.

Look, look, your dad loves you a lot,

and, uh, I just gotta figure that it'll

all end up okay.

I mean, I think you just gotta come

out and tell him.

Well, actually, you already came out, didn't you?

I mean...

Hey, you're halfway there.

Is that a definite no on the Valium?

Oh, look at all these people walking into

the Academy Awards.

I'd love to go to a party like

that.

The gowns, the jewelry, the glamour.

This fork smells.

And then there's my life.

Come on, Bob, show a little sensitivity.

I mean, can't you see Reggie's just trying

to dream?

My fork smells, too.

It's not your fork, it's the...

Oh, well, you already ate it.

Oh, no, as if my morning wasn't bad

enough.

Look who just pulled up.

It's Sarah from the bakery.

She thinks her life is so much better

than mine.

Everyone thinks her life is better than yours.

Hey, I even think my life's better than

yours, and that's saying something.

Well, look at this.

She borrowed a dress from me six weeks

ago, and she still hasn't returned it.

I just hate her, the big phony.

Sarah, hi!

Reggie, how you doing?

Listen, I was just taking some of my

freshly-baked donuts to the homeless shelter, and

thought maybe you had some food you'd like

to donate.

Oh, I'd love to.

If you can wait a minute, I'll just

go make something.

Reg, they're homeless.

Haven't they suffered enough?

Oh, don't listen to him.

They'll take anything.

Oh, but I'm afraid I really can't wait.

My new Lexus is double-parked.

Bye-bye.

Goodbye.

Enjoy your new car.

I hope it blows up.

Can you believe her?

She still didn't mention my dress.

Maybe she forgot.

Oh, she didn't forget.

She wants me to think she forgot, so

I'll mention it, and then I'll look like

the petty one.

But I'm gonna keep quiet until she brings

that dress back to me, and then she'll

be horribly embarrassed at how long it took

her, which means I win.

Do you hear yourself?

Hey, I am the better person, and if

I have to humiliate that phony bitch to

prove it, I will.

I'm sorry I'm an hour late, but I

have a really good excuse.

Huh?

Oh, that's all right.

Don't you want to hear it?

No, not really.

All right, you'll hear it tomorrow.

Margaret, are you all right?

As a matter of fact, I'm not.

When I woke up this morning, Lewis was

gone.

Dead?

No.

He left the house before I woke up.

I found this note.

We need to talk.

Meet me at Angelo's at 6.30. Well,

what's wrong with this?

He obviously wants to make up for missing

your birthday.

Then why did he sneak out of the

house?

I tell you, Linda, he's been moody and

secretive for months.

This can only mean one thing.

He wants a divorce.

Oh, come on, Margaret.

Don't jump to conclusions.

Maybe he just has a girlfriend.

The way I figure it, he's taking me

to a public place because he's afraid that

I will make a scene.

Why would he think that?

He knows me.

Mr. Berman, next time you want to pet

an animal, try a dog.

New York squirrels have way too much attitude.

Hey, John.

Hey.

Adam told me you were coming to town.

Nice to see you.

You too, you too.

Well, this is great.

They're still letting you practice medicine, right?

He doesn't have a real medical degree.

Yeah, Mr. Walters is kidding.

We were college roommates.

So, uh, seen Adam yet?

No, not yet.

We're gonna get together later.

Oh, good.

You know, I just stopped by to see

if you wanted to have lunch with me.

I thought maybe we could go over the

Four Seasons.

How's 1 o'clock?

Oh, Four Seasons.

Uh, you really want to go all the

way into the city and pay 30 bucks

for a burger?

You know, we can go to Ming's right

here in the neighborhood.

Okay, it's my treat.

Well, you know, if you really like the

Four Seasons...

No, no, no, no, no.

If you want Ming's, you got it.

Okay, it's my way of saying thank you

for keeping an eye on Adam.

No problem.

We're glad to do it.

Hey, you know, he's a great kid.

Don't you forget that.

John, quit sucking up.

I already said I'm paying for lunch.

I'll see you at lunch.

Hey, I wasn't kidding.

Get out while you can.

You're an idiot.

You passed up lunch at the Four Seasons

to eat at Ming's?

Mr. Walters, your wife and your girlfriend are

both patients of mine.

Watch who you call an idiot.

Wow, she's hot.

Yeah, if you like fake breasts.

For your information, those are real.

Those, on the other hand, are fake.

Real.

Real.

Fake.

Real.

Real fake.

Oh, my God, who cares?

A, you're disgusting.

B, this is so unfair to me.

Pretend it's breath.

I gotta get back to the building and

turn off the heat.

Why?

I do it every couple of days.

Then I wait an hour and I turn

it back on.

I give the tenant the illusion that I've

actually fixed something.

Hey, Reg, Sarah's car just pulled up.

If she doesn't have my dress, I'm gonna

rip the one she's wearing right off her

body.

That again?

What's my rush?

You know what?

This is stupid.

Just ask her for the dress and be

done with it.

I told you, I don't want to seem

petty.

Well, then make up some story why you

need the dress back.

Good idea.

I'll tell her I have a date.

Well, it's gotta be something she'll believe.

Reggie, hi.

Could I have change for a dollar?

Father Kendrick's parking meter expired.

My hate crimes get a ticket.

Here.

My treat.

Are you sure you can spare it?

Yeah.

Thanks.

Oh, Sarah, I almost forgot.

I have a date tonight.

Well, fingers crossed.

My point is, you borrowed a dress from

me and...

Oh, I know.

I'm late in getting it back.

It's at the dry cleaners.

Well, I kind of need it tonight.

Oh, no problem.

I'll go right over and get it.

I just need to rearrange my schedule.

Let's see.

Volunteer at the senior center.

Meeting at the church.

My daughter's dance recital.

Oh, she'll cry if she doesn't see me

there.

Oh, but I'll be all right.

Give me the ticket.

Pardon?

You give me the ticket.

I'll just pick up the dress myself.

Oh, you're the best.

Oh, I have just enough time to get

to the hospital for the blood drive.

Don't you just hate that they only let

you donate one pint?

One pint!

It's unbelievable.

She screwed you again.

No, she didn't.

Reggie screwed herself.

Now, if she hadn't have lied about the

date, she'd have gotten a dress tomorrow, picked

up, and paid for it.

But it was your idea to make up

the story in the first place.

It was his idea to open up a

newsstand.

You saw how that turned out.

Ming, have another fortune cookie?

I'll tell you your fortune.

If you don't order something soon, a tall,

dark man's gonna throw you out on your

cheap white ass.

And I keep telling you, Ming was the

last owner.

I'm Bill.

Yeah, well, you remind me of Ming.

He didn't like me either.

Gee, I thought you were never gonna make

it.

Excuse me.

Could I have some water, please?

Oh, yeah.

I'm gonna retire off YouTube.

Boy, you look terrible.

I just talked to Adam, and he just

told me something that really threw me.

Ah, so you know, huh?

You know?

Well, how come you didn't tell me?

Well, it wasn't my place.

You know, Adam thought it'd be best if

he told you he was gay.

He's gay?

Isn't that what he told you?

No.

Uh, he-he told me that he was

quitting pre-med.

He's quitting pre-med?

It's 5.15. You're gonna be late for

your dinner with Lewis.

Believe me, I'm in no hurry.

You know, Linda, I have been imagining this

conversation for months, but now that it's about

to happen, I'm scared to death.

If Lewis wants a divorce, I don't know

what I'm gonna do.

I don't know what to say.

I know, Linda.

Thanks.

No, I don't know what to say because

I've never been dumped.

Good luck with it.

Is Dr. Becker here?

Uh, yes.

He's in his office.

I know the way.

How could you tell my father I was

gay?

Yeah, I didn't know I was telling him.

I thought you'd already told him.

Well, I tried to, but he got so

pissed off about med school, I chickened out.

Yeah, about med school.

I can't tell you how much that hurt

me.

What are you talking about?

You barely know me.

Yeah, if you were a doctor, we'd have

much more to talk about.

Well, you're right.

I-I'm sorry.

I...

Sit down.

I-I'm sorry about this whole thing.

I-I didn't mean for it to turn

out like this.

Well, now he won't talk to me at

all.

Well, you-you think it would help if

I talked to him?

Why?

Because you're so good at it?

Show me a little respect.

You know, I am your godfather, Alex.

Adam.

Adam.

She did it to me again.

The ticket that Sarah gave me wasn't just

for my dress.

It was for half of Bloomingdale's.

Well, why didn't she just pick up your

dress and leave the rest there?

Because that's what she'd want.

If I just picked up my dress, I'd

look petty.

How much did it cost not to look

petty?

$78.37. Which didn't leave me enough money

for the bus, so I had to walk

for ten blocks carrying all these stupid hangers.

Now my feet are killing me.

My fingers are deformed.

Well, at least you don't look petty.

You may not like Sarah, but you have

to admit she's got good taste.

Silk, cashmere, cheap synthetic.

I got it.

Now how'd that get in there?

That's mine.

Margaret, where have you been?

I'm dying to hear what happened with you

and Louis.

Are you okay?

I'm fantastic.

Really?

Things couldn't have worked out better.

Louis lost his job.

That pretty much rules out alimony.

No, Linda, I was wrong.

I thought that Louis wanted a divorce, but

he doesn't.

It turns out that he was laid off

months ago and he was too ashamed to

tell me.

Poor guy.

Every morning he was getting dressed, fixing his

lunch, and then just pretending to go to

work.

That's a job I want.

Hey, Margaret, tell Dr. Becker the good news.

Louis lost his job.

Isn't that fantastic?

You know, I always hoped that you would

be an influence on her.

Okay, I'm here.

You want to talk?

Let's talk in your office.

Oh, boy.

What the hell's your problem?

Adam told me you won't even speak to

him.

That's because I don't know what to say.

I know you're upset, but don't you think

you're overreacting a little bit?

My son just told me he's gay.

You want to tell me what the appropriate

reaction is?

Well, I know it's not to stop talking

to him.

Oh, boy.

Here we go again.

John Becker, the expert on everybody else's life.

Well, somebody needs to tell you how to

behave.

What the hell happened to you?

You used to be open-minded.

Well, I'd like to see how open-minded

you would be.

John, you don't even have kids.

You don't know what it feels like.

Yeah, you know, that has now.

And you know what?

You're his godfather.

You were supposed to look after him.

I sent you a perfectly straight med student,

and look what happened.

Jesus.

Come on.

Listen to this.

I know, I know, I know.

I'm not supposed to feel this way.

It's wrong.

It...

But this is the way I feel.

You know, I...

I had these pictures in my head of

everything that was ever going to happen to

him.

His graduation, his wedding, his...

children.

And then today, in an instant, every picture

I had changed.

Frank, believe me, I know how you feel.

John, believe me, you don't have a clue.

Fake.

Wow, look at that.

One of each.

Reggie, hi.

I got your message.

What is it you want to...

Oh, my.

What's all this?

I thought, since I was there, I might

as well pick up all of your clothes

and save you the trip.

That is so thoughtful.

How much do I owe you?

Oh, gee, I don't really remember.

I think it was something like $78.37.

Here you go.

It's 20, 30, 40 in cash, and $40

in coupons.

That makes 80.

Coupons?

I paid cash.

Well, that may be, but I was going

to use those coupons.

But you didn't pick up the clothes.

But I was going to, and I don't

see why I should be out $40 just

because you did something you weren't, let's be

honest, really asked to do.

What?

Well, I want to be fair, so forget

the change.

Well, gotta go.

Gosh, I just remembered.

This jacket is yours.

I borrowed it months ago.

Reggie, if I ever do something like that

again, for heaven's sake, remind me.

Well, bye-bye.

My life just sucks.

Look, I appreciate you calling my dad, but

he's not going to show up.

Oh, no, we don't know that for sure.

It's only been...

An hour and 20 minutes.

You know what?

Maybe we should order.

He was a knob.

I shouldn't have said anything.

I should have kept this whole thing to

myself.

Oh, come on.

You can't live like that.

Adam, I'm sorry.

I wish things had gone better.

Sounds like your father hasn't quite grasped the

choices you've made.

You know, Maine, we're having a private conversation.

I know, but I'm trying to move this

thing along.

I want to close up.

Look, my father had hopes and dreams for

me, too.

He worked hard so that I could get

an education.

I did.

He hoped that one day I would have

one of those big offices over on Wall

Street.

Well, I did.

And he wanted me to make a million

dollars.

I did that, too.

What the hell happened?

I took the money and started a business

selling shoelaces over the Internet.

Oh, good one.

Well, everyone needs shoelaces.

You'd think so, wouldn't you?

Now, how does this relate to what we

were talking about?

My point is, I didn't exactly realize my

father's dreams, and he still loves me.

Yours will, too.

Thank you.

Thanks, Ming.

That really helps.

Thanks, Ming.

I said the same thing to you like

an hour and a half ago.

Well, it sounded better coming from him.

We Chinese are very wise.

So, you ready to order?

I'm not really hungry.

Are you?

No.

I'm kind of filled up on these noodles.

I don't suppose you want any Pokemon shoelaces.

Huh.

I'm gonna die with those things.

Well, what do you say, Adam?

You know what?

I'm gonna wait around a little bit longer.

My dad might still show up.

All right.

I'll wait with you.