Original subtitles

Welcome to the Daily Show. I'm Desi

Welcome to the Daily Show. I'm Desi

Welcome to the Daily Show. I'm Desi Lighting. We've got so much to talk

Lighting. We've got so much to talk

Lighting. We've got so much to talk about tonight. Iran has a new secret

about tonight. Iran has a new secret

about tonight. Iran has a new secret weapon. Trump finds a way to make

weapon. Trump finds a way to make

weapon. Trump finds a way to make Canadians angry. And Olive Garden is now

Canadians angry. And Olive Garden is now

Canadians angry. And Olive Garden is now the world's most secure place to eat.

the world's most secure place to eat.

the world's most secure place to eat. Sorry, Rainforest Cafe at Rikers. So,

Sorry, Rainforest Cafe at Rikers. So,

Sorry, Rainforest Cafe at Rikers. So, let's get into the headlines.

This weekend was the big World Cup final

This weekend was the big World Cup final

This weekend was the big World Cup final and I'd like to congratulate Spain or

and I'd like to congratulate Spain or

and I'd like to congratulate Spain or Espa as we called it during myth

Espa as we called it during myth

Espa as we called it during myth overseas.

It marked the end of a wonderful month

It marked the end of a wonderful month

It marked the end of a wonderful month of soccer co-hosted by the United

of soccer co-hosted by the United

of soccer co-hosted by the United States, Canada, and Mexico. And in a

States, Canada, and Mexico. And in a

States, Canada, and Mexico. And in a beautiful moment of unity, Trump watched

beautiful moment of unity, Trump watched

beautiful moment of unity, Trump watched the game alongside the leader of Canada,

the game alongside the leader of Canada,

the game alongside the leader of Canada, ushering in a new era of friendship that

ushering in a new era of friendship that

ushering in a new era of friendship that will last and last and

will last and last and

will last and last and >> breaking news. The Trump administration

>> breaking news. The Trump administration

>> breaking news. The Trump administration says it is slapping an additional 50%

says it is slapping an additional 50%

says it is slapping an additional 50% tariff on certain Canadian goods.

tariff on certain Canadian goods.

tariff on certain Canadian goods. >> Oh, mother

>> Oh, mother

>> Oh, mother fighting again with Canada. I thought we

fighting again with Canada. I thought we

fighting again with Canada. I thought we were going to work this out.

were going to work this out.

were going to work this out. Okay, now what are we taxing ourselves

Okay, now what are we taxing ourselves

Okay, now what are we taxing ourselves to punish Canada for?

to punish Canada for?

to punish Canada for? >> Everything from Canadian wood and paper

>> Everything from Canadian wood and paper

>> Everything from Canadian wood and paper and furniture to things like hockey

and furniture to things like hockey

and furniture to things like hockey sticks and dairy products.

sticks and dairy products.

sticks and dairy products. >> No hockey sticks. What's my husband

>> No hockey sticks. What's my husband

>> No hockey sticks. What's my husband going to keep jammed in the corner of

going to keep jammed in the corner of

going to keep jammed in the corner of the garage for the past 15 years? Now,

the garage for the past 15 years? Now,

the garage for the past 15 years? Now, obviously, it's very frustrating to be

obviously, it's very frustrating to be

obviously, it's very frustrating to be back in this trade war again. But if

back in this trade war again. But if

back in this trade war again. But if you're worried that this is another case

you're worried that this is another case

you're worried that this is another case of Trump abusing his power, relax. These

of Trump abusing his power, relax. These

of Trump abusing his power, relax. These tariffs are legal under the Smoot Holly

tariffs are legal under the Smoot Holly

tariffs are legal under the Smoot Holly Act, which has been around since 1930

Act, which has been around since 1930

Act, which has been around since 1930 when it helped prolong and worsen the

when it helped prolong and worsen the

when it helped prolong and worsen the Great Depression. So, cheer up.

>> But where where is this sudden anger

>> But where where is this sudden anger

>> But where where is this sudden anger with Canada coming from? What's this all

with Canada coming from? What's this all

with Canada coming from? What's this all about? President Trump is blasting

about? President Trump is blasting

about? President Trump is blasting Canada for quote willful negligence in

Canada for quote willful negligence in

Canada for quote willful negligence in its forest management, calling the

its forest management, calling the

its forest management, calling the pollution an unhealthy invasion. Trump

pollution an unhealthy invasion. Trump

pollution an unhealthy invasion. Trump went on to threaten Canada with more

went on to threaten Canada with more

went on to threaten Canada with more tariffs due to the wildfire smoke.

tariffs due to the wildfire smoke.

tariffs due to the wildfire smoke. >> You got to stop these fires from coming

>> You got to stop these fires from coming

>> You got to stop these fires from coming in and, you know, poisoning our air.

>> Are you sure you want America to set a

>> Are you sure you want America to set a

>> Are you sure you want America to set a precedent for paying for pollution?

precedent for paying for pollution?

precedent for paying for pollution? I feel like your pals at Pesticide,

I feel like your pals at Pesticide,

I feel like your pals at Pesticide, Microlastic, Death, Diarrhea, Lettuce,

Microlastic, Death, Diarrhea, Lettuce,

Microlastic, Death, Diarrhea, Lettuce, Inc. might have other ideas. I will say

Inc. might have other ideas. I will say

Inc. might have other ideas. I will say the one interesting thing about the

the one interesting thing about the

the one interesting thing about the wildfires was seeing Trump almost come

wildfires was seeing Trump almost come

wildfires was seeing Trump almost come to a realization.

to a realization.

to a realization. >> We got to stop the fires up there. I've

>> We got to stop the fires up there. I've

>> We got to stop the fires up there. I've never remembered this happening over the

never remembered this happening over the

never remembered this happening over the last four or five years. You saw it

last four or five years. You saw it

last four or five years. You saw it starting to take place.

starting to take place.

starting to take place. >> Go on.

>> Go on.

>> Go on. You're getting warmer. Warmer.

You're getting warmer. Warmer.

You're getting warmer. Warmer. Catastrophically warmer.

Catastrophically warmer.

Catastrophically warmer. I love how he's discovering climate

I love how he's discovering climate

I love how he's discovering climate change while standing next to his idling

change while standing next to his idling

change while standing next to his idling jet.

jet.

jet. Something is causing this and we have

Something is causing this and we have

Something is causing this and we have got to get to the bottom of it. Keep the

got to get to the bottom of it. Keep the

got to get to the bottom of it. Keep the engine running, guys. All of them. I

engine running, guys. All of them. I

engine running, guys. All of them. I haven't decided which plane I'm taking.

haven't decided which plane I'm taking.

haven't decided which plane I'm taking. But let's move on from Trump's war on

But let's move on from Trump's war on

But let's move on from Trump's war on Canada to his war on personally losing

Canada to his war on personally losing

Canada to his war on personally losing elections. Look, I know a lot of

elections. Look, I know a lot of

elections. Look, I know a lot of liberals out there think election fraud

liberals out there think election fraud

liberals out there think election fraud isn't a problem, but I assure you it's

isn't a problem, but I assure you it's

isn't a problem, but I assure you it's just as much a threat to the United

just as much a threat to the United

just as much a threat to the United States as Canada. And that's why last

States as Canada. And that's why last

States as Canada. And that's why last week Trump gave a prime time address

week Trump gave a prime time address

week Trump gave a prime time address from the White House to offer his

from the White House to offer his

from the White House to offer his solution to fix our elections.

solution to fix our elections.

solution to fix our elections. >> Congress must pass the Save America Act.

>> Congress must pass the Save America Act.

>> Congress must pass the Save America Act. This landmark bill requires that all

This landmark bill requires that all

This landmark bill requires that all voters must show photo voter ID. How

voters must show photo voter ID. How

voters must show photo voter ID. How simple is that? Could I have your photo,

simple is that? Could I have your photo,

simple is that? Could I have your photo, please? Photo voter ID.

please? Photo voter ID.

please? Photo voter ID. >> Even he sounds exhausted by his own

>> Even he sounds exhausted by his own

>> Even he sounds exhausted by his own election

election

election Hey. Hey. Once you turn 80, it is harder

Hey. Hey. Once you turn 80, it is harder

Hey. Hey. Once you turn 80, it is harder to maintain an insurrection. Happens to

to maintain an insurrection. Happens to

to maintain an insurrection. Happens to a lot of guys.

>> Now, if you didn't watch this speech,

>> Now, if you didn't watch this speech,

>> Now, if you didn't watch this speech, Trump unveiled a devastating set of

Trump unveiled a devastating set of

Trump unveiled a devastating set of documents that conclusively prove the

documents that conclusively prove the

documents that conclusively prove the 2020 election was stolen in a deep state

2020 election was stolen in a deep state

2020 election was stolen in a deep state conspiracy. I'm just with you.

conspiracy. I'm just with you.

conspiracy. I'm just with you. He released a bunch of documents that

He released a bunch of documents that

He released a bunch of documents that were old news and didn't prove jack

were old news and didn't prove jack

were old news and didn't prove jack And at one point he even started

And at one point he even started

And at one point he even started to glitch.

to glitch.

to glitch. >> In light of the brand new and

>> In light of the brand new and

>> In light of the brand new and irrefutable information I have revealed

irrefutable information I have revealed

irrefutable information I have revealed tonight, my administration is in the

tonight, my administration is in the

tonight, my administration is in the process of notifying the states.

It's what I'm always saying. You got to

It's what I'm always saying. You got to

It's what I'm always saying. You got to trust the proof.

trust the proof.

trust the proof. Trust it. Now, normally after Trump

Trust it. Now, normally after Trump

Trust it. Now, normally after Trump gives a speech, all his fans at Fox News

gives a speech, all his fans at Fox News

gives a speech, all his fans at Fox News amplify his message and repeat his lies

amplify his message and repeat his lies

amplify his message and repeat his lies verbatim. There's just one problem.

verbatim. There's just one problem.

verbatim. There's just one problem. Trump's talking about election fraud.

Trump's talking about election fraud.

Trump's talking about election fraud. Remember how this went the last time?

Remember how this went the last time?

Remember how this went the last time? >> Fox agreeing to pay Dominion more than

>> Fox agreeing to pay Dominion more than

>> Fox agreeing to pay Dominion more than $787 million over the network's

$787 million over the network's

$787 million over the network's unsupported claims that the 2020

unsupported claims that the 2020

unsupported claims that the 2020 presidential election was rigged.

presidential election was rigged.

presidential election was rigged. >> Fox does not want to pay another $787

>> Fox does not want to pay another $787

>> Fox does not want to pay another $787 million. They need that money for

million. They need that money for

million. They need that money for settling sexual harassment lawsuits.

settling sexual harassment lawsuits.

settling sexual harassment lawsuits. Sean Hannity, you're live after Trump's

Sean Hannity, you're live after Trump's

Sean Hannity, you're live after Trump's speech. Let's see you try to cover this

speech. Let's see you try to cover this

speech. Let's see you try to cover this story without tripping over $787

story without tripping over $787

story without tripping over $787 million. President Donald J. Trump from

million. President Donald J. Trump from

million. President Donald J. Trump from the East Room at the White House, he had

the East Room at the White House, he had

the East Room at the White House, he had a lot to say tonight. Now, the president

a lot to say tonight. Now, the president

a lot to say tonight. Now, the president uh if you go to white house.gov has and

uh if you go to white house.gov has and

uh if you go to white house.gov has and will has now releasing um what he

will has now releasing um what he

will has now releasing um what he believes is all the corroboration that

believes is all the corroboration that

believes is all the corroboration that you would ever need. um what is pretty

you would ever need. um what is pretty

you would ever need. um what is pretty remarkable um what he says are in these

remarkable um what he says are in these

remarkable um what he says are in these documents. I'm sure that anybody uh that

documents. I'm sure that anybody uh that

documents. I'm sure that anybody uh that cares about truth will want to do a deep

cares about truth will want to do a deep

cares about truth will want to do a deep dive into all of this.

dive into all of this.

dive into all of this. Um uh well what he said was um so it was

Um uh well what he said was um so it was

Um uh well what he said was um so it was a little you know what let's move on to

a little you know what let's move on to

a little you know what let's move on to a bigger story. Why does mom Donnie want

a bigger story. Why does mom Donnie want

a bigger story. Why does mom Donnie want to convert Jimothy the raccoon to Islam?

to convert Jimothy the raccoon to Islam?

to convert Jimothy the raccoon to Islam? Yeah. So now MAGA Republicans are in a

Yeah. So now MAGA Republicans are in a

Yeah. So now MAGA Republicans are in a tough spot. If Trump's speech didn't

tough spot. If Trump's speech didn't

tough spot. If Trump's speech didn't move the needle, they need to find

move the needle, they need to find

move the needle, they need to find another way to rally support for it.

another way to rally support for it.

another way to rally support for it. They need to come with irrefutable

They need to come with irrefutable

They need to come with irrefutable evidence that is necessary. They need to

evidence that is necessary. They need to

evidence that is necessary. They need to take this seriously.

take this seriously.

take this seriously. >> 24 states already require photo ID to be

>> 24 states already require photo ID to be

>> 24 states already require photo ID to be presented prior to voting. Heck, you

presented prior to voting. Heck, you

presented prior to voting. Heck, you even need to present a photo ID to

even need to present a photo ID to

even need to present a photo ID to utilize the Olive Garden neverending

utilize the Olive Garden neverending

utilize the Olive Garden neverending pasta pass.

Okay. Or we could compare our election

Okay. Or we could compare our election

Okay. Or we could compare our election system to Olive Garden. Sure, let's try

system to Olive Garden. Sure, let's try

system to Olive Garden. Sure, let's try that. And by the way, for those of you

that. And by the way, for those of you

that. And by the way, for those of you who don't know, the Olive Garden

who don't know, the Olive Garden

who don't know, the Olive Garden never-ending pasta pass is a real thing.

never-ending pasta pass is a real thing.

never-ending pasta pass is a real thing. And of course, you have to show a photo

And of course, you have to show a photo

And of course, you have to show a photo ID to use it. In fact, my first fake ID

ID to use it. In fact, my first fake ID

ID to use it. In fact, my first fake ID was actually a never-ending pasta pass.

was actually a never-ending pasta pass.

was actually a never-ending pasta pass. I'll never forget freshman year when I

I'll never forget freshman year when I

I'll never forget freshman year when I got marinara poisoning. Had to get my

got marinara poisoning. Had to get my

got marinara poisoning. Had to get my stomach pumped.

stomach pumped.

stomach pumped. Before you ask, yes, I checked the box

Before you ask, yes, I checked the box

Before you ask, yes, I checked the box to be a pasta donor. That way, God

to be a pasta donor. That way, God

to be a pasta donor. That way, God forbid if something happens to me, a guy

forbid if something happens to me, a guy

forbid if something happens to me, a guy who needs a new kidney gets my pasta.

who needs a new kidney gets my pasta.

who needs a new kidney gets my pasta. But yeah, Virginia Fox is saying Olive

But yeah, Virginia Fox is saying Olive

But yeah, Virginia Fox is saying Olive Garden has tighter security than the

Garden has tighter security than the

Garden has tighter security than the voting booth. And that's such a

voting booth. And that's such a

voting booth. And that's such a ridiculous analogy that everyone on the

ridiculous analogy that everyone on the

ridiculous analogy that everyone on the right is using it.

right is using it.

right is using it. >> So, you need an ID to get all you can

>> So, you need an ID to get all you can

>> So, you need an ID to get all you can eat pasta at Olive Garden. You want to

eat pasta at Olive Garden. You want to

eat pasta at Olive Garden. You want to go vote? For God's sake, you can't go

go vote? For God's sake, you can't go

go vote? For God's sake, you can't go get pasta at Olive Garden without a

get pasta at Olive Garden without a

get pasta at Olive Garden without a picture ID.

picture ID.

picture ID. >> So, you need one for Olive Garden, but

>> So, you need one for Olive Garden, but

>> So, you need one for Olive Garden, but not for a steak in our republic, right?

not for a steak in our republic, right?

not for a steak in our republic, right? You have to show up with a photo ID to

You have to show up with a photo ID to

You have to show up with a photo ID to prove it's actually you to eat their

prove it's actually you to eat their

prove it's actually you to eat their pasta. My goodness. The fact that eating

pasta. My goodness. The fact that eating

pasta. My goodness. The fact that eating pasta requires an actual ID before

pasta requires an actual ID before

pasta requires an actual ID before voting in this country is pretty

voting in this country is pretty

voting in this country is pretty ridiculous.

ridiculous.

ridiculous. >> Shout out to Olive Garden.

>> Shout out to Olive Garden. You're not

>> Shout out to Olive Garden. You're not

>> Shout out to Olive Garden. You're not even talking about election fraud

even talking about election fraud

even talking about election fraud anymore. You're just ordering lunch.

anymore. You're just ordering lunch.

anymore. You're just ordering lunch. Here's the thing. Olive Garden and

Here's the thing. Olive Garden and

Here's the thing. Olive Garden and elections are completely different

elections are completely different

elections are completely different things. Voting is a sacred right that

things. Voting is a sacred right that

things. Voting is a sacred right that can't be restricted just because Donald

can't be restricted just because Donald

can't be restricted just because Donald Trump wants photo ID. But Olive Garden

Trump wants photo ID. But Olive Garden

Trump wants photo ID. But Olive Garden needs a photo ID for their pasta pass

needs a photo ID for their pasta pass

needs a photo ID for their pasta pass because their mailin pasta was a total

because their mailin pasta was a total

because their mailin pasta was a total mess.

mess.

mess. Not falling for that again. But beyond

Not falling for that again. But beyond

Not falling for that again. But beyond that, your analogy is taking over your

that, your analogy is taking over your

that, your analogy is taking over your argument. You want people to be thinking

argument. You want people to be thinking

argument. You want people to be thinking about election fraud, not the restaurant

about election fraud, not the restaurant

about election fraud, not the restaurant where your parents tell you that they're

where your parents tell you that they're

where your parents tell you that they're getting a divorce.

getting a divorce.

getting a divorce. When you're here, you're family. But

When you're here, you're family. But

When you're here, you're family. But when we get home, YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE.

PLEASE, PLEASE JUST stop making this

PLEASE, PLEASE JUST stop making this

PLEASE, PLEASE JUST stop making this about Olive Garden.

about Olive Garden.

about Olive Garden. >> Maybe we just need to change the name of

>> Maybe we just need to change the name of

>> Maybe we just need to change the name of the bill to the Olive Garden law.

the bill to the Olive Garden law.

the bill to the Olive Garden law. >> You know what? It fine. Let's pass the

>> You know what? It fine. Let's pass the

>> You know what? It fine. Let's pass the Olive Garden law followed by the Red

Olive Garden law followed by the Red

Olive Garden law followed by the Red Lobster War on Greenland Act and the

Lobster War on Greenland Act and the

Lobster War on Greenland Act and the Chile's baby back abortion ban.

Chile's baby back abortion ban.

Chile's baby back abortion ban. So that that is the current state of

So that that is the current state of

So that that is the current state of Trump's war on voting rights. In the

Trump's war on voting rights. In the

Trump's war on voting rights. In the span of a week, he went from an urgent

span of a week, he went from an urgent

span of a week, he went from an urgent prime time address to watching his base

prime time address to watching his base

prime time address to watching his base obsess over a tuskcen themed casual

obsess over a tuskcen themed casual

obsess over a tuskcen themed casual dining chain. It didn't work out for him

dining chain. It didn't work out for him

dining chain. It didn't work out for him this time, but the next one might

this time, but the next one might

this time, but the next one might because at the end of the day, his lies

because at the end of the day, his lies

because at the end of the day, his lies are like spaghetti. Throw it at the wall

are like spaghetti. Throw it at the wall

are like spaghetti. Throw it at the wall and hope it sticks. And I think I SPEAK

>> And I think I speak for all of us when I

>> And I think I speak for all of us when I

>> And I think I speak for all of us when I say shout out to Olive Garden.