Original subtitles

What's up to all my technologists,

What's up to all my technologists,

What's up to all my technologists, robotalogists, and my gastro

robotalogists, and my gastro

robotalogists, and my gastro enterologists? What's up, Dr. Rosenbaum?

enterologists? What's up, Dr. Rosenbaum?

enterologists? What's up, Dr. Rosenbaum? >> Oh, the things that guy does with a tiny

>> Oh, the things that guy does with a tiny

>> Oh, the things that guy does with a tiny camera while I'm asleep.

camera while I'm asleep.

camera while I'm asleep. >> I'm Grace Kuhlenschmidt, or as they call

>> I'm Grace Kuhlenschmidt, or as they call

>> I'm Grace Kuhlenschmidt, or as they call me on Roblox, USBC,

me on Roblox, USBC,

me on Roblox, USBC, you next Tuesday.

you next Tuesday.

you next Tuesday. And this is Tech Yeah, where I tell CPU

And this is Tech Yeah, where I tell CPU

And this is Tech Yeah, where I tell CPU all about the biggest stories in tech.

all about the biggest stories in tech.

all about the biggest stories in tech. Let's kick things off with the biggest

Let's kick things off with the biggest

Let's kick things off with the biggest question in technology.

question in technology.

question in technology. >> Does it sound like a good idea to mount

>> Does it sound like a good idea to mount

>> Does it sound like a good idea to mount guns or flamethrowers onto AI-controlled

guns or flamethrowers onto AI-controlled

guns or flamethrowers onto AI-controlled robots?

>> [laughter]

>> [laughter]

>> [laughter] >> It doesn't sound like a good idea.

>> It doesn't sound like a good idea.

>> It doesn't sound like a good idea. It sounds like a great idea.

It sounds like a great idea.

It sounds like a great idea. But let me guess, this cool new toy is

But let me guess, this cool new toy is

But let me guess, this cool new toy is only available to the military.

only available to the military.

only available to the military. >> An Ohio company is now advertising this

>> An Ohio company is now advertising this

>> An Ohio company is now advertising this flame-throwing robot available for

flame-throwing robot available for

flame-throwing robot available for purchase at near $9,000.

purchase at near $9,000.

purchase at near $9,000. The manufacturer says the flame-throwing

The manufacturer says the flame-throwing

The manufacturer says the flame-throwing dog could help with wildfire control,

dog could help with wildfire control,

dog could help with wildfire control, agriculture management, or snow and ice

agriculture management, or snow and ice

agriculture management, or snow and ice removal.

removal.

removal. >> Oh, Add to cart.

>> Oh, Add to cart.

>> Oh, Add to cart. >> [laughter]

>> [laughter]

>> [laughter] >> I've always wanted a dog that can sit,

>> I've always wanted a dog that can sit,

>> I've always wanted a dog that can sit, roll over, and make a baked Alaska.

roll over, and make a baked Alaska.

roll over, and make a baked Alaska. I can't tell you how many dogs I've had

I can't tell you how many dogs I've had

I can't tell you how many dogs I've had to re-home because they can't

to re-home because they can't

to re-home because they can't cook.

cook.

cook. And if you thought this techno combo was

And if you thought this techno combo was

And if you thought this techno combo was great, this next one will blow your

great, this next one will blow your

great, this next one will blow your sweet little mind and sweet little

sweet little mind and sweet little

sweet little mind and sweet little colon.

colon.

colon. >> A Chinese company is banking you're

>> A Chinese company is banking you're

>> A Chinese company is banking you're going to pay $13,000 for this robo

going to pay $13,000 for this robo

going to pay $13,000 for this robo toilet. Robo toilet comes to you. Using

toilet. Robo toilet comes to you. Using

toilet. Robo toilet comes to you. Using an AI 3D obstacle avoidance system, this

an AI 3D obstacle avoidance system, this

an AI 3D obstacle avoidance system, this commode can dodge any commotion like a

commode can dodge any commotion like a

commode can dodge any commotion like a Roomba vacuum. Now, the most common

Roomba vacuum. Now, the most common

Roomba vacuum. Now, the most common question flooding the internet is

question flooding the internet is

question flooding the internet is whether you can actually poop in this

whether you can actually poop in this

whether you can actually poop in this thing. The answer is a definitive yes,

thing. The answer is a definitive yes,

thing. The answer is a definitive yes, as it is built to handle absolutely

as it is built to handle absolutely

as it is built to handle absolutely [music] everything.

[music] everything.

[music] everything. >> Um, dumping

>> Um, dumping

>> Um, dumping I'm so sick of my toilet playing hard to

I'm so sick of my toilet playing hard to

I'm so sick of my toilet playing hard to get. It just lays there while while I do

get. It just lays there while while I do

get. It just lays there while while I do all the work.

all the work.

all the work. And thanks to this moving toilet, now we

And thanks to this moving toilet, now we

And thanks to this moving toilet, now we won't have to awkwardly leave the

won't have to awkwardly leave the

won't have to awkwardly leave the conversation at a dinner party to do my

conversation at a dinner party to do my

conversation at a dinner party to do my business.

business.

business. I can just say, "Don't mind me, guys.

I can just say, "Don't mind me, guys.

I can just say, "Don't mind me, guys. Just speak up a little."

Just speak up a little."

Just speak up a little." I MEAN, WHAT WILL THEY THINK OF NEXT? A

I MEAN, WHAT WILL THEY THINK OF NEXT? A

I MEAN, WHAT WILL THEY THINK OF NEXT? A tampon that can jump inside you?

tampon that can jump inside you?

tampon that can jump inside you? What would that even look like? I guess

What would that even look like? I guess

What would that even look like? I guess it would look like, you know, a tampon

it would look like, you know, a tampon

it would look like, you know, a tampon with feet and arms and a face and my

with feet and arms and a face and my

with feet and arms and a face and my hair and it can talk and it's my new

hair and it can talk and it's my new

hair and it can talk and it's my new best friend and I tell it all my

best friend and I tell it all my

best friend and I tell it all my secrets, which it absorbs super well

secrets, which it absorbs super well

secrets, which it absorbs super well because it's a tampon, and we race

because it's a tampon, and we race

because it's a tampon, and we race toilets down the highway together. She's

toilets down the highway together. She's

toilets down the highway together. She's my maid of honor. I'm just spitballing.

my maid of honor. I'm just spitballing.

my maid of honor. I'm just spitballing. But if that cute little robot toilet

But if that cute little robot toilet

But if that cute little robot toilet didn't make you feel good, there's a new

didn't make you feel good, there's a new

didn't make you feel good, there's a new app that will.

app that will.

app that will. >> An app is going viral and it's part of a

>> An app is going viral and it's part of a

>> An app is going viral and it's part of a bigger trend of so-called dopamine

bigger trend of so-called dopamine

bigger trend of so-called dopamine sites. This app lets people pretend to

sites. This app lets people pretend to

sites. This app lets people pretend to order food, but then nothing happens.

order food, but then nothing happens.

order food, but then nothing happens. These dopamine sites give people the

These dopamine sites give people the

These dopamine sites give people the buzz of actually buying something

buzz of actually buying something

buzz of actually buying something without actually spending any money.

without actually spending any money.

without actually spending any money. >> Yes.

>> Yes.

>> Yes. I've always said the most useless part

I've always said the most useless part

I've always said the most useless part of these food delivery apps is the food.

of these food delivery apps is the food.

of these food delivery apps is the food. The best part is watching a delivery guy

The best part is watching a delivery guy

The best part is watching a delivery guy get closer and then farther

get closer and then farther

get closer and then farther and then closer and then it says

and then closer and then it says

and then closer and then it says delivered but your food is nowhere to be

delivered but your food is nowhere to be

delivered but your food is nowhere to be found.

found.

found. And you say, "Did my neighbor Donna

And you say, "Did my neighbor Donna

And you say, "Did my neighbor Donna steal my food again?

steal my food again?

steal my food again? You just

You just

You just ate your last moo goo gai pan, Donna.

ate your last moo goo gai pan, Donna.

ate your last moo goo gai pan, Donna. Just wait till I get MY FLAMETHROWER AND

Just wait till I get MY FLAMETHROWER AND

Just wait till I get MY FLAMETHROWER AND DOG. YOU ARE SO

DOG. YOU ARE SO

DOG. YOU ARE SO DONNA!

BUT FAIR WARNING, these dopamine apps

BUT FAIR WARNING, these dopamine apps

BUT FAIR WARNING, these dopamine apps can be addicting. Last night I had to

can be addicting. Last night I had to

can be addicting. Last night I had to send myself 5,000 orders of pad thai

send myself 5,000 orders of pad thai

send myself 5,000 orders of pad thai just to feel something.

just to feel something.

just to feel something. Sorry, masturbation. I found a new way

Sorry, masturbation. I found a new way

Sorry, masturbation. I found a new way to disgust myself.

to disgust myself.

to disgust myself. And finally, an update on my favorite

And finally, an update on my favorite

And finally, an update on my favorite actress, Tilly Norwood. After months of

actress, Tilly Norwood. After months of

actress, Tilly Norwood. After months of anticipation, she's finally coming to

anticipation, she's finally coming to

anticipation, she's finally coming to the silver screen.

the silver screen.

the silver screen. >> Hi, Tilly Norwood here.

>> Hi, Tilly Norwood here.

>> Hi, Tilly Norwood here. >> She's the controversial AI actress.

>> She's the controversial AI actress.

>> She's the controversial AI actress. And this morning, she's officially set

And this morning, she's officially set

And this morning, she's officially set to star in her first feature film. Set

to star in her first feature film. Set

to star in her first feature film. Set to take place in the so-called Tilly

to take place in the so-called Tilly

to take place in the so-called Tilly verse, titled Misaligned, a

verse, titled Misaligned, a

verse, titled Misaligned, a coming-of-age story about Tilly trying

coming-of-age story about Tilly trying

coming-of-age story about Tilly trying to become more human.

to become more human.

to become more human. >> A coming-of-age story for artificial

>> A coming-of-age story for artificial

>> A coming-of-age story for artificial intelligence? Hell yeah. I hope they

intelligence? Hell yeah. I hope they

intelligence? Hell yeah. I hope they include her awkward puberty phase where

include her awkward puberty phase where

include her awkward puberty phase where she had 11 fingers and one really long

she had 11 fingers and one really long

she had 11 fingers and one really long leg.

leg.

leg. Growing up can be so tough. So, let me

Growing up can be so tough. So, let me

Growing up can be so tough. So, let me be the first to say, congratulations,

be the first to say, congratulations,

be the first to say, congratulations, Tilly Norwood. You're like Gal Gadot,

Tilly Norwood. You're like Gal Gadot,

Tilly Norwood. You're like Gal Gadot, but lifelike.

but lifelike.

but lifelike. >> [laughter]

>> [laughter]

>> [laughter] >> And get this, in classic A-lister

>> And get this, in classic A-lister

>> And get this, in classic A-lister fashion, Page Six says Tilly's already

fashion, Page Six says Tilly's already

fashion, Page Six says Tilly's already banging Wally.

banging Wally.

banging Wally. Lucky

Lucky

Lucky >> [laughter]

>> [laughter]

>> [laughter] >> Well, that's all the time we have to for

>> Well, that's all the time we have to for

>> Well, that's all the time we have to for Tech Yeah. Tune in next time where I

Tech Yeah. Tune in next time where I

Tech Yeah. Tune in next time where I show you the best VR headset to wear to

show you the best VR headset to wear to

show you the best VR headset to wear to a funeral.