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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: WEBVTT FILE 1 00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:02.160 (WHEEL CLICKS) 2 00:00:02.160 --> 00:00:04.160 - Paul! 3 00:00:04.160 --> 00:00:05.200 ('TASKMASTER' THEME MUSIC) 4 00:00:05.200 --> 00:00:07.200 (POP!) 5 00:00:07.720 --> 00:00:09.000 (KEYS CLACK) 6 00:00:09.000 --> 00:00:10.320 (LEAF BLOWER WHIRRS) 7 00:00:10.320 --> 00:00:11.120 (PLAYS SCALE) 8 00:00:11.120 --> 00:00:12.000 (KEYS CLACK) 9 00:00:12.000 --> 00:00:13.080 (THWONG!) 10 00:00:13.080 --> 00:00:14.360 - Yes! 11 00:00:14.360 --> 00:00:16.360 - Hi, Mum. 12 00:00:16.720 --> 00:00:18.240 - Au revoir! 13 00:00:18.240 --> 00:00:19.320 - (ROARS) 14 00:00:19.320 --> 00:00:20.360 (KEYS CLACK) 15 00:00:20.360 --> 00:00:20.960 - Yah! 16 00:00:20.960 --> 00:00:21.560 - Oh. 17 00:00:21.560 --> 00:00:22.280 - No! 18 00:00:22.280 --> 00:00:23.240 - Ha ha ha! 19 00:00:23.240 --> 00:00:25.240 - (GASPS) 20 00:00:26.440 --> 00:00:27.160 - Ah! 21 00:00:27.160 --> 00:00:29.160 (STAMP THUDS) 22 00:00:29.160 --> 00:00:30.360 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 23 00:00:30.360 --> 00:00:32.440 (TYPEWRITER KEYS CLACK) 24 00:00:32.480 --> 00:00:34.360 (DING!) 25 00:00:34.360 --> 00:00:37.720 - Nau mai piki mai, and welcome to Taskmaster. 26 00:00:37.720 --> 00:00:41.600 May name is Jeremy Wells, and if you're watching this on demand, 27 00:00:41.600 --> 00:00:45.800 please feel free to skip ahead six seconds to when this introduction is over 28 00:00:45.800 --> 00:00:51.800 and we finally get to the good bit when I tell you that I am the Taskmaster. 29 00:00:51.880 --> 00:00:53.560 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 30 00:00:53.560 --> 00:00:57.560 With me on stage tonight are five winners of life 31 00:00:57.680 --> 00:01:00.360 and losers of tasks. (LAUGHTER) 32 00:01:00.600 --> 00:01:05.040 Please put your hands together for Alice Snedden... (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 33 00:01:05.040 --> 00:01:07.280 ...Bree Tomasel... (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 34 00:01:07.280 --> 00:01:09.720 ...Jack Ansett... (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 35 00:01:09.720 --> 00:01:12.040 ...Jackie van Beek... (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 36 00:01:12.040 --> 00:01:15.320 ...and Pax Assadi. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 37 00:01:15.320 --> 00:01:17.400 And next to me, as always, 38 00:01:17.600 --> 00:01:22.840 because every principal first violinist needs someone by their side playing second fiddle, 39 00:01:22.840 --> 00:01:27.840 it's the one, the only Paul Williams! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 40 00:01:28.560 --> 00:01:34.720 I am ready for a prize task, Paul. What have asked the contestants to do tonight? 41 00:01:34.720 --> 00:01:41.520 - This week we've asked our contestants to bring in the two best things that rhyme. 42 00:01:41.520 --> 00:01:43.520 - Hmm. - OK. 43 00:01:43.760 --> 00:01:45.920 - I think we should start with Jack. 44 00:01:45.920 --> 00:01:49.480 - Um, musicians, they rhyme. Would we all agree? - AUDIENCE: Yeah. 45 00:01:49.480 --> 00:01:53.400 - Yes. Yes, so I DM'd a whole lot of them, 46 00:01:53.520 --> 00:02:00.560 and, I guess, just through my high profile, I managed to get Suzy Cato. Oh! 47 00:02:00.680 --> 00:02:03.080 Whoo! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 48 00:02:04.320 --> 00:02:10.520 Yes. And famous New Zealand rapper, Young Sizzle. Um... 49 00:02:10.520 --> 00:02:12.240 (LAUGHTER) 50 00:02:12.240 --> 00:02:16.520 - Young Sizzle looks a lot like young Jack Ansett. 51 00:02:17.040 --> 00:02:19.200 - Oh, yeah, we― we get that all the time. 52 00:02:19.200 --> 00:02:21.160 - So, they make rhymes. - JACKIE: Yeah. - Yeah, they do. 53 00:02:21.160 --> 00:02:24.240 - Oh, but their names don't rhyme. - No, they don't, but they rhyme. 54 00:02:24.240 --> 00:02:30.200 - If you made that one up, why not go to the effort of giving them a name that rhymes with Suzy Cato? 55 00:02:30.200 --> 00:02:32.160 (LAUGHTER) 56 00:02:32.160 --> 00:02:35.760 - It feels like I'm really gonna say 'See ya, see ya later' to five points here, but... 57 00:02:35.760 --> 00:02:37.040 (LAUGHTER) 58 00:02:37.040 --> 00:02:39.760 - Jackie, what did you bring in? - Two things that rhyme ― 59 00:02:39.760 --> 00:02:42.240 a nail and some mail. 60 00:02:42.440 --> 00:02:45.440 - Hmm. - Now the nail is self-explanatory. 61 00:02:45.440 --> 00:02:50.720 And the mail, a little bit of a backstory. So I have a wonderful marriage, um... 62 00:02:50.720 --> 00:02:52.640 (LAUGHTER) Thank you. 63 00:02:52.640 --> 00:02:56.560 And my husband and I communicate very well about all of the big things. 64 00:02:56.560 --> 00:02:58.440 With the small things, not so great. 65 00:02:58.440 --> 00:03:02.200 End of last year, we get a parking ticket; didn't really sit down and talk about it. 66 00:03:02.200 --> 00:03:08.080 Neither of us paid the fine. Then I come home; there's a letter from Baycorp on the table opened, 67 00:03:08.080 --> 00:03:14.520 threatening court action if I don't pay it, so yet again, Jesse and I don't communicate about that, 68 00:03:14.520 --> 00:03:17.000 but we both pay it. (LAUGHTER) 69 00:03:17.120 --> 00:03:19.800 And then we got sent this letter. 70 00:03:19.840 --> 00:03:24.560 - I've never seen a form from Baycorp saying, 'Please stop payments.' (LAUGHTER) 71 00:03:24.560 --> 00:03:28.440 - And I am willing to give this to the person who wins this ep, 72 00:03:28.440 --> 00:03:32.080 and if you can be bothered filling out the form, you get the refund. 73 00:03:32.080 --> 00:03:33.200 - Wow. - ALICE: Great. 74 00:03:33.200 --> 00:03:34.800 - BREE: That's good. - JACK: Yeah. - PAX: Yeah, that's good. 75 00:03:34.800 --> 00:03:35.800 - So generous. 76 00:03:35.800 --> 00:03:40.400 OK. Pax, what did you bring in? - We all agree that immigration is a good thing. 77 00:03:40.400 --> 00:03:42.040 - Absolutely. - Yeah. 78 00:03:42.040 --> 00:03:43.560 - Paul was saying something backstage... 79 00:03:43.560 --> 00:03:45.880 - Yeah, I know Paul's beliefs. I know Paul's beliefs. 80 00:03:45.880 --> 00:03:51.040 But I believe that without immigration, you guys would mostly just be eating mashed potatoes. 81 00:03:51.040 --> 00:03:55.360 - Shepherd's pie. - Yeah, and brown― like, we hate white-people food. 82 00:03:55.360 --> 00:03:59.240 - You hate mashed potatoes? - Oh, we― we pretend to like it for employment reasons. 83 00:03:59.240 --> 00:04:00.400 (LAUGHTER) 84 00:04:00.400 --> 00:04:04.640 Anyway, so what I've brought is two things that my people have brought to New Zealand 85 00:04:04.640 --> 00:04:08.120 that have enhanced the culinary experience, and that is... 86 00:04:08.120 --> 00:04:10.120 rice and... 87 00:04:10.400 --> 00:04:12.400 spice. (LAUGHTER) 88 00:04:12.880 --> 00:04:14.480 - They rhyme. (APPLAUSE) 89 00:04:14.480 --> 00:04:15.560 They rhyme. 90 00:04:15.560 --> 00:04:16.640 - Saffron. 91 00:04:16.640 --> 00:04:19.800 - I'ma level with you ― I do not know what saffron is. (LAUGHTER) 92 00:04:19.800 --> 00:04:24.080 - And you know what, Jack ― that checks out. (LAUGHTER) 93 00:04:24.080 --> 00:04:29.560 - Alice, what did you bring in? - Well, Jeremy, I think you'd agree one of the things we share in common 94 00:04:29.560 --> 00:04:34.800 is a love for '90s sitcom star Christina Applegate. 95 00:04:35.120 --> 00:04:36.680 Yeah. There she is. (LAUGHTER) 96 00:04:36.680 --> 00:04:42.440 Truly the best at what she does. I mean, could you name a better actor in her field? 97 00:04:42.440 --> 00:04:45.240 There you go. That's exactly my point. - Yeah. 98 00:04:45.240 --> 00:04:48.760 - And, you know, I thought what could possibly rhyme with her 99 00:04:48.760 --> 00:04:53.000 that would live up to the standard that she sets? And then it hit me. 100 00:04:53.000 --> 00:04:57.240 Christina Applegate and the 'Sistina' Chapel, mate. 101 00:04:57.240 --> 00:04:59.840 (LAUGHTER) - JACKIE: Oh, yeah. 102 00:05:00.320 --> 00:05:04.080 - So, are you saying that's the 'Sistina' Chapel, like the...? 103 00:05:04.080 --> 00:05:09.600 - No, I'm saying Sistine Chapel, but I'm doing the respectful thing and doing a bit of an Italian accent. 104 00:05:09.600 --> 00:05:11.080 (LAUGHTER) - Oh wow. 105 00:05:11.080 --> 00:05:13.120 - Sorry, Bree. Apologies. - I'm OK with it. 106 00:05:13.120 --> 00:05:15.720 - OK, great. (ITALIAN ACCENT) 'Sistina Chapel.' 107 00:05:15.720 --> 00:05:18.760 - I think go harder. Yeah, go harder. - Yeah, go harder, yeah. 108 00:05:18.760 --> 00:05:20.000 - Bree, what did you bring in? 109 00:05:20.000 --> 00:05:24.800 - This is easy for me, cos my two favourite things in the whole world actually rhyme, 110 00:05:24.800 --> 00:05:26.480 which is art 111 00:05:26.480 --> 00:05:27.800 and, of course, 112 00:05:27.800 --> 00:05:29.800 fart. - JACK: Oh... 113 00:05:30.000 --> 00:05:31.520 Ew. (LAUGHTER) 114 00:05:31.520 --> 00:05:33.440 - Hold on. That's just a jar. - Now, hold on, hold on. 115 00:05:33.440 --> 00:05:40.120 You might think that this is just a fart in a jar, and on one hand, you'd be correct. 116 00:05:40.920 --> 00:05:44.520 But it needs more context as to why it is art. 117 00:05:46.760 --> 00:05:48.760 (LAUGHTER) 118 00:05:51.600 --> 00:05:52.720 - Oh my God. 119 00:05:52.720 --> 00:05:54.720 (ART FARTS) 120 00:05:55.880 --> 00:06:00.360 Incredible. - That is amazing. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 121 00:06:00.680 --> 00:06:02.680 - It's an Art fart. - Wow. 122 00:06:02.760 --> 00:06:05.200 - Yeah. No, that's five points right there. (LAUGHTER) 123 00:06:05.200 --> 00:06:07.600 - Yes! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 124 00:06:08.560 --> 00:06:10.400 - Pax, four points for you. - Yes! 125 00:06:10.400 --> 00:06:13.880 - Anything that nourishes billions is worth four points. - I agree. 126 00:06:13.880 --> 00:06:18.640 - Suzy Cato and Young Sizzle, I'll give you three points for that, Jack. 127 00:06:18.640 --> 00:06:20.200 - Wow. - Nice, Jack. 128 00:06:20.200 --> 00:06:21.200 - Nail and mail? 129 00:06:21.200 --> 00:06:23.760 - Jackie, it rhymes, so I'll give you two points. - Thank you. 130 00:06:23.760 --> 00:06:26.160 - And then one point for Alice, cos it didn't even rhyme. 131 00:06:26.160 --> 00:06:27.760 (JACK LAUGHS) - Oh wow. 132 00:06:27.760 --> 00:06:32.960 - So, at the start of episode five, Bree is running away with it in first place, 133 00:06:32.960 --> 00:06:37.600 and Alice is leaving it where it is and having a lie down. (LAUGHTER) 134 00:06:37.600 --> 00:06:41.640 - (LAUGHS) All right. Let's get to the first proper task of the episode, Paul. 135 00:06:41.640 --> 00:06:46.720 - Here's one that will separate the posers from the athletes. 136 00:06:46.760 --> 00:06:48.760 (QUIRKY THEME MUSIC) 137 00:06:54.240 --> 00:06:55.480 - What are you doing? 138 00:06:55.480 --> 00:06:57.840 - You could've done this before I came through the sheet. 139 00:06:57.840 --> 00:06:59.840 (WHIRRING) 140 00:07:01.480 --> 00:07:03.480 - There's nothing on it. 141 00:07:03.760 --> 00:07:05.040 - What are you doing there? 142 00:07:05.040 --> 00:07:07.560 - It helps. That's what you do, isn't it? 143 00:07:07.560 --> 00:07:09.560 - Oh, OK. 144 00:07:09.600 --> 00:07:11.880 - READS: 'Take the most...' 145 00:07:12.120 --> 00:07:13.360 - '...mind-blowing photo...' 146 00:07:13.360 --> 00:07:15.760 - '...on the camera on the tripod.' 147 00:07:15.760 --> 00:07:18.480 - 'Most mind-blowing photo wins.' 148 00:07:18.480 --> 00:07:22.800 - 'The camera will take one photo exactly...' 149 00:07:23.000 --> 00:07:24.560 (WHIRRING) 150 00:07:24.560 --> 00:07:28.000 - '...five minutes after Paul says the phrase...' 151 00:07:28.000 --> 00:07:29.880 - ...'"Great day for it."' 152 00:07:29.880 --> 00:07:33.960 - I can't read the next bit. Maybe we could just read it from the task in your pocket. 153 00:07:33.960 --> 00:07:34.680 - No. 154 00:07:34.680 --> 00:07:37.360 Should I just give you this one? - Oh, that's nice. 155 00:07:37.360 --> 00:07:41.160 - 'Your time starts... during thenexttask.' 156 00:07:41.560 --> 00:07:45.440 - Oh, wow, so I don't do it now; I do it during the next task. I have to take the most mind-blowing photo. 157 00:07:45.440 --> 00:07:47.440 - Mm-hm. 158 00:07:47.640 --> 00:07:48.560 (LAUGHTER) 159 00:07:48.560 --> 00:07:51.040 - OK. See ya soon. - See ya soon. 160 00:07:54.960 --> 00:07:55.800 Hello, Jack. 161 00:07:55.800 --> 00:07:57.080 Hello, Alice. 162 00:07:57.080 --> 00:07:58.960 - Welcome. - You don't need to welcome me. 163 00:07:58.960 --> 00:08:00.840 - Well, I just did. - You're welcome. 164 00:08:00.840 --> 00:08:02.440 - No, no, you're welcome. - You're welcome. 165 00:08:02.440 --> 00:08:05.240 - You're welcome, man. - Welcome. 166 00:08:05.920 --> 00:08:07.920 - You welcome. 167 00:08:13.480 --> 00:08:15.880 - READS: 'Kick the ball into the caravan.' 168 00:08:15.880 --> 00:08:17.880 - 'Fewest kicks wins.' 169 00:08:17.920 --> 00:08:21.520 - 'You may attempt this as many times as you want.' 170 00:08:21.520 --> 00:08:23.200 - 'However, if you start again...' 171 00:08:23.200 --> 00:08:25.560 - '...all prior attempts are wiped.' 172 00:08:25.560 --> 00:08:28.160 - 'You must start from the spot in the study.' 173 00:08:28.160 --> 00:08:30.560 - 'You have 20 minutes. Your time starts now.' 174 00:08:30.560 --> 00:08:32.560 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 175 00:08:34.400 --> 00:08:36.880 - So, in terms of the task, Paul... - Yes. 176 00:08:36.880 --> 00:08:42.560 - ...there's two parts to it. - There is. Kick a ball into the caravan ― as few kicks as possible. 177 00:08:42.560 --> 00:08:46.040 And then during that task, at some point, I'll say the phrase, 'Great day for it,' 178 00:08:46.040 --> 00:08:49.600 and then they have five minutes to get to the lab and take the most mind-blowing photo. 179 00:08:49.600 --> 00:08:55.480 - OK, excellent. Right, whose minimum kicks and maximum looks are we gonna see first? 180 00:08:55.480 --> 00:08:56.600 - By the way, Paul... - Mm-hm. 181 00:08:56.600 --> 00:08:58.480 - ...you're welcome. (LAUGHTER) 182 00:08:58.480 --> 00:09:02.880 - All Jokes Assadi's one of my favourite comedians. (LAUGHTER) 183 00:09:02.880 --> 00:09:06.280 Please welcome Pax Assadi. - BREE: Yeah! 184 00:09:07.240 --> 00:09:09.920 - ENGLISH ACCENT: Get in. Get in! 185 00:09:10.160 --> 00:09:12.160 That's one kick. 186 00:09:14.640 --> 00:09:16.040 You... 187 00:09:16.040 --> 00:09:17.200 Yes! 188 00:09:17.200 --> 00:09:18.720 That's five. 189 00:09:18.720 --> 00:09:19.840 That's six. 190 00:09:19.840 --> 00:09:22.240 - You've got 14 minutes. - OK. 191 00:09:22.400 --> 00:09:24.400 (QUIRKY MUSIC) 192 00:09:26.320 --> 00:09:30.360 That turned the wrong way at the end. That's seven. 193 00:09:30.360 --> 00:09:31.320 Get over. 194 00:09:31.320 --> 00:09:35.200 Glenfield Rovers Under-12s top goal-scorer. 195 00:09:37.080 --> 00:09:38.560 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 196 00:09:38.560 --> 00:09:40.200 It went in. That was good, eh? 197 00:09:40.200 --> 00:09:42.160 - Yeah. - WHISPERS: Yeah... 198 00:09:42.160 --> 00:09:45.080 Thanks, Paul. - Wait, you― you're― you don't wanna try any more? 199 00:09:45.080 --> 00:09:49.280 - Do another one and wipe that one? No way. That was― 200 00:09:50.760 --> 00:09:52.760 (LAUGHTER) 201 00:09:53.760 --> 00:09:55.400 - That's the phrase. - What is? 202 00:09:55.400 --> 00:09:57.960 - Either 'it's a great day for it' or 'let's go fishing', 203 00:09:57.960 --> 00:10:01.880 and I feel like you haven't said 'let's go fishing', so it must be that 'it's a great day forit'. 204 00:10:01.880 --> 00:10:03.800 - Let's go fishing. - What? 205 00:10:03.800 --> 00:10:05.560 - I'm super keen for fishing. 206 00:10:05.560 --> 00:10:06.520 - Paul, get in here. 207 00:10:06.520 --> 00:10:10.920 I can't remember how much time I have. - Yeah, I'm not sure either, sorry. 208 00:10:10.920 --> 00:10:14.200 - Let's just practice. Three, two, one. 209 00:10:14.600 --> 00:10:16.160 That's good. 210 00:10:16.160 --> 00:10:17.720 OK, now what do we do? 211 00:10:17.720 --> 00:10:20.160 - Well, I don't know when it's gonna go off, so... - We just― 212 00:10:20.160 --> 00:10:23.280 - ...do we have to constantly jump? - I guess so. 213 00:10:23.280 --> 00:10:28.400 I also don't know if the phrase is 'let's go fishing' or 'it's a good day for it', 214 00:10:28.400 --> 00:10:30.280 cos you said both. (CAMERA LENS CLICKS) 215 00:10:30.280 --> 00:10:32.280 (LAUGHTER) 216 00:10:32.600 --> 00:10:34.600 Was that it? - Yeah. 217 00:10:35.280 --> 00:10:37.280 - (SIGHS) 218 00:10:37.320 --> 00:10:40.120 (LAUGHTER, CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 219 00:10:41.160 --> 00:10:46.200 - OK, so what was gonna be mind-blowing about two guys on a mop? (LAUGHTER) 220 00:10:46.200 --> 00:10:48.200 - Um... Uh... 221 00:10:48.680 --> 00:10:50.360 Nothing. (LAUGHTER) 222 00:10:50.360 --> 00:10:51.680 I'm quite happy with my kicks, though. 223 00:10:51.680 --> 00:10:55.880 - Yeah, Glenfield Rovers Under-12? - Under-12s top goal-scorer. - Yeah, I could see why. 224 00:10:55.880 --> 00:10:59.160 - What sport was Glenfield Rovers? - Soccer. 225 00:10:59.160 --> 00:11:01.160 - Oh. (LAUGHTER) 226 00:11:02.680 --> 00:11:03.600 - Burn. 227 00:11:03.600 --> 00:11:04.800 - What does that―? What does that mean? 228 00:11:04.800 --> 00:11:08.080 - I've said all I need to say. (LAUGHTER) 229 00:11:08.280 --> 00:11:13.040 - All right. Get ready. We're going to take a photo of you as soon as the ad break is up, 230 00:11:13.040 --> 00:11:17.240 so you'd better be back here by then, and you'd better be looking your best. 231 00:11:17.240 --> 00:11:19.000 Your time starts... 232 00:11:19.000 --> 00:11:21.280 now. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 233 00:11:21.680 --> 00:11:23.680 (QUIRKY THEME MUSIC) 234 00:11:27.560 --> 00:11:29.560 (QUIRKY THEME MUSIC) 235 00:11:29.920 --> 00:11:31.920 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 236 00:11:33.520 --> 00:11:35.080 - Welcome back to Taskmaster. 237 00:11:35.080 --> 00:11:41.120 Right, what were we doing, Paul? - Our contestants were trying to complete two tasks at once. 238 00:11:41.120 --> 00:11:44.120 They had to get the ball in the caravan with as few kicks as possible, 239 00:11:44.120 --> 00:11:47.080 and five minutes after I said the phrase, 'Great day for it,' 240 00:11:47.080 --> 00:11:50.720 they had to pose for the most mind-blowing photo in the lab. 241 00:11:50.720 --> 00:11:54.560 - Right. Whose kicks and snaps are we gonna see next, Paul? 242 00:11:54.560 --> 00:12:01.440 - It's Ladies' Night. Go off, queens. It's time for my gals, Alice, Bree and Jackie. 243 00:12:01.440 --> 00:12:02.480 (LAUGHTER) 244 00:12:02.480 --> 00:12:04.480 - Can we start? - Mm-hm. 245 00:12:06.560 --> 00:12:09.240 - Would you consider this a kick? 246 00:12:09.640 --> 00:12:11.240 - (BLOWS) 247 00:12:11.240 --> 00:12:12.720 Is that a kick? 248 00:12:12.720 --> 00:12:14.280 Didn't think so. 249 00:12:14.280 --> 00:12:16.280 - (SIGHS) OK, I'm gonna start again. 250 00:12:16.280 --> 00:12:18.280 - (BLOWS) 251 00:12:19.080 --> 00:12:21.080 - Shit. 252 00:12:21.280 --> 00:12:23.280 - (BLOWS) 253 00:12:24.640 --> 00:12:26.160 - Cos my foot's not... 254 00:12:26.160 --> 00:12:27.000 Oh shit. 255 00:12:27.000 --> 00:12:28.400 - (BLOWS) 256 00:12:28.400 --> 00:12:30.120 Oop. 257 00:12:30.120 --> 00:12:32.120 (BLOWS) 258 00:12:32.480 --> 00:12:34.960 - Shit. No, that's gone badly. 259 00:12:35.040 --> 00:12:37.040 OK. 260 00:12:37.280 --> 00:12:38.440 - Oh, come on. 261 00:12:38.440 --> 00:12:40.440 - (BLOWS) 262 00:12:44.840 --> 00:12:46.840 - It really is. OK. 263 00:12:47.200 --> 00:12:49.200 (GASPS) 264 00:12:49.600 --> 00:12:50.720 - That's four. 265 00:12:50.720 --> 00:12:54.520 So, what are you doing ― setting a timer? - Yeah. 266 00:12:54.520 --> 00:12:55.800 - That's five. 267 00:12:55.800 --> 00:12:57.800 - I'm going again. 268 00:12:58.880 --> 00:13:00.120 - Don't look at me like that. 269 00:13:00.120 --> 00:13:02.120 - (BLOWS) 270 00:13:04.200 --> 00:13:06.200 - You've got 14.45. 271 00:13:06.200 --> 00:13:08.480 - Far out. Time management. 272 00:13:14.560 --> 00:13:19.040 Oh, pretty good, Paul! OK, let's go. Photo time, Paul. 273 00:13:19.040 --> 00:13:21.040 - Three. - Three. 274 00:13:21.800 --> 00:13:23.800 - Let's go take a photo. 275 00:13:24.480 --> 00:13:27.360 - Are you sure? - Positive. Oh shit. 276 00:13:28.960 --> 00:13:30.960 - Will we know if the photo's been taken? 277 00:13:30.960 --> 00:13:32.960 - It'll be flash. - Oh! 278 00:13:34.240 --> 00:13:36.240 (CAMERA FLASH CLICKS) 279 00:13:37.640 --> 00:13:38.880 - Oh no. 280 00:13:38.880 --> 00:13:41.640 I don't think this is possible. Aargh! 281 00:13:41.640 --> 00:13:43.840 (CAMERA FLASH CLICKS) Oh! 282 00:13:45.040 --> 00:13:47.040 - (BLEEP)! 283 00:13:47.520 --> 00:13:49.320 (WHEEZES) 284 00:13:49.320 --> 00:13:52.240 - It's gonna be one hell of a photo. OK, quick, Paul! Back out here! 285 00:13:52.240 --> 00:13:54.240 - OK. 286 00:13:54.280 --> 00:13:55.120 - Not bad. 287 00:13:55.120 --> 00:13:57.120 - (BLOWS) 288 00:13:57.560 --> 00:13:59.320 Rugby players do it. 289 00:13:59.320 --> 00:14:01.320 - Oh man. 290 00:14:03.640 --> 00:14:05.640 - (LAUGHS) 291 00:14:05.880 --> 00:14:10.280 - This might be my greatest moment on Taskmaster yet. 292 00:14:11.360 --> 00:14:13.360 - Count me down from 10. 293 00:14:14.120 --> 00:14:16.240 - You wanna wait till there's 10 seconds left? - Yep. 294 00:14:16.240 --> 00:14:21.040 - So you're trying to give yourself more pressure? - Yeah. 295 00:14:21.400 --> 00:14:23.240 - Eight, seven, 296 00:14:23.240 --> 00:14:25.240 six... 297 00:14:25.240 --> 00:14:27.240 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 298 00:14:27.920 --> 00:14:29.920 - Happy with that. 299 00:14:30.200 --> 00:14:32.200 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 300 00:14:32.920 --> 00:14:39.160 - Bree, you went for the 'down on your knees blowing' technique. (LAUGHTER) 301 00:14:39.160 --> 00:14:43.840 - You wanted a mind-blowing photo; I gave you the opposite in the other task. 302 00:14:43.840 --> 00:14:44.840 (LAUGHTER) 303 00:14:44.840 --> 00:14:47.680 - Jackie, in terms of kicking the ball... - Yeah. 304 00:14:47.680 --> 00:14:49.720 - ...can you define what a kick is? 305 00:14:49.720 --> 00:14:53.920 - So, what I was attempting to do there was I wedged it in between my two ankles, 306 00:14:53.920 --> 00:14:57.960 kept the contact going, so I'd started the kick, but I hadn't finished the kick, 307 00:14:57.960 --> 00:15:01.880 so it was still kick one... 308 00:15:02.320 --> 00:15:05.360 That's one kick. - Yeah, no, we get the idea, yeah. (LAUGHTER) 309 00:15:05.360 --> 00:15:07.120 - But I was really excited about my photo. 310 00:15:07.120 --> 00:15:11.160 - I'm feeling pretty good about my photo now. (LAUGHTER) 311 00:15:11.160 --> 00:15:13.720 - Before we get to the photos, how about kicks? 312 00:15:13.720 --> 00:15:15.880 - So, Pax was nine kicks. - Mm-hm. 313 00:15:15.880 --> 00:15:18.720 - Alice, her final attempt ― five kicks. 314 00:15:18.720 --> 00:15:20.360 - Wow. - Wow. 315 00:15:20.360 --> 00:15:23.160 - Bree ― five kicks. (EXCLAIMING) 316 00:15:23.760 --> 00:15:26.880 Jackie ― there was some hopping. - A little. 317 00:15:26.880 --> 00:15:28.280 - But seven kicks. 318 00:15:28.280 --> 00:15:30.200 - Yeah, I really thought my nine kicks was good. 319 00:15:30.200 --> 00:15:34.320 - It is good, Pax, just not as good as five. - JACKIE: Yeah, or seven. 320 00:15:34.320 --> 00:15:37.240 - I tell you what ― the good news is that there's still one person to go. 321 00:15:37.240 --> 00:15:40.960 - And he is unbelievably uncoordinated. (LAUGHTER) 322 00:15:40.960 --> 00:15:43.480 - Ready, Ansett, and go. 323 00:15:43.960 --> 00:15:45.600 - OK. 324 00:15:45.600 --> 00:15:47.600 First kick. 325 00:15:48.240 --> 00:15:50.240 Gonna hit it over the... 326 00:15:52.080 --> 00:15:56.440 I'm just gonna do what we call in the business a trick shot. 327 00:15:56.440 --> 00:15:58.440 OK. 328 00:15:58.480 --> 00:16:01.920 Don't count that, Paul. - I'm counting every kick. 329 00:16:01.920 --> 00:16:03.920 - Whoa! OK. 330 00:16:04.040 --> 00:16:05.320 And we go down. 331 00:16:05.320 --> 00:16:10.320 Kick the ball into the caravan, they say. - Yes. Simple task. 332 00:16:11.040 --> 00:16:13.040 - AUDIENCE: Ooh. 333 00:16:13.480 --> 00:16:15.480 - Oh shit. Sorry, Paul. 334 00:16:20.160 --> 00:16:21.080 - It's 20. 335 00:16:21.080 --> 00:16:23.440 - Do you reckon I should try that again? - Probably. 336 00:16:23.440 --> 00:16:24.520 - I'm gonna try it again. 337 00:16:24.520 --> 00:16:26.600 OK. Through the kitchen. 338 00:16:27.600 --> 00:16:28.400 MUTTERS: Shit. 339 00:16:28.400 --> 00:16:30.200 Through the kitchen. 340 00:16:30.200 --> 00:16:30.840 (SIGHS) 341 00:16:30.840 --> 00:16:32.640 Through the kitchen. 342 00:16:32.640 --> 00:16:34.640 Through the... 343 00:16:36.080 --> 00:16:37.480 (CLATTERING, CRASH!) 344 00:16:37.480 --> 00:16:38.800 (LAUGHTER) 345 00:16:38.800 --> 00:16:40.800 Through the kitchen. 346 00:16:41.240 --> 00:16:43.640 OK, that one― I'm happy with that. 347 00:16:43.640 --> 00:16:45.640 Sh... No! 348 00:16:46.040 --> 00:16:47.840 Through the kitchen. 349 00:16:47.840 --> 00:16:49.840 Yes! Yes! 350 00:16:50.880 --> 00:16:52.880 Two. 351 00:16:53.280 --> 00:16:56.280 - That's three. - Yes, yes, yes, three. 352 00:16:56.280 --> 00:16:57.720 - Four. 353 00:16:57.720 --> 00:16:58.560 - Oh! 354 00:16:58.560 --> 00:17:00.560 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 355 00:17:03.360 --> 00:17:05.360 SLO-MO: Oh! 356 00:17:06.200 --> 00:17:08.200 DISTORTED: Oh! 357 00:17:08.640 --> 00:17:10.000 Oh! 358 00:17:10.000 --> 00:17:16.120 That was the most successful moment in the history of this (BLEEP)ing show! 359 00:17:16.120 --> 00:17:18.000 Oh! 360 00:17:18.000 --> 00:17:19.480 Yes! 361 00:17:19.480 --> 00:17:20.320 Oh! 362 00:17:20.320 --> 00:17:22.920 Thanks, Paul. - Thank you, Jack. 363 00:17:22.920 --> 00:17:24.920 (LAUGHTER) 364 00:17:26.400 --> 00:17:28.400 (CAMERA FLASH CLICKS) 365 00:17:28.560 --> 00:17:31.160 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) - I don't even care. 366 00:17:31.160 --> 00:17:33.080 - Great work, from you, Jack. Great kick. - Yeah. 367 00:17:33.080 --> 00:17:38.000 - But you, obviously, missed the second part of that task. Are you happy with that? 368 00:17:38.000 --> 00:17:40.520 - It was an abstract shot. (LAUGHTER) 369 00:17:40.520 --> 00:17:46.680 I don't know if you know much about the photography field, Jeremy, but sometimes silence speaks vol... 370 00:17:46.680 --> 00:17:47.560 Yeah. (LAUGHTER) 371 00:17:47.560 --> 00:17:49.840 - So, in terms of the kicks... 372 00:17:49.840 --> 00:17:52.480 - Jack ― four kicks. - JACKIE: Wow. 373 00:17:52.480 --> 00:17:56.640 - Yeah, well, that's good. All right. - He restarted 22 times. (LAUGHTER) 374 00:17:56.640 --> 00:17:58.720 - OK, so one point for Pax. - Yep. 375 00:17:58.720 --> 00:18:00.200 - Two points for Jackie. 376 00:18:00.200 --> 00:18:01.840 Three points for Bree and Alice. 377 00:18:01.840 --> 00:18:07.040 And then five points for Jack. I think that's fair. (APPLAUSE) 378 00:18:07.040 --> 00:18:12.600 OK, shall we take a look at these mind-blowing photos and judge them? - Yes. 379 00:18:12.600 --> 00:18:13.800 - Wow. (LAUGHTER) 380 00:18:13.800 --> 00:18:17.240 - BREE: I look like I'm birthing Paul. (LAUGHTER) 381 00:18:17.240 --> 00:18:19.400 And that's pretty mind-blowing. 382 00:18:19.400 --> 00:18:22.280 - Jackie, what have you got on underneath that jacket? - Nothing. 383 00:18:22.280 --> 00:18:23.320 - Good, OK. 384 00:18:23.320 --> 00:18:26.400 It's pretty clear to me. Obviously, Jack is one. 385 00:18:26.400 --> 00:18:27.240 - (GROANS) - OK. 386 00:18:27.240 --> 00:18:29.080 - Alice is two. 387 00:18:29.080 --> 00:18:32.040 You and Pax on the mop ― three. 388 00:18:32.280 --> 00:18:33.520 - OK. 389 00:18:33.520 --> 00:18:36.200 - Bree birthing you ― four. - Yes! 390 00:18:36.240 --> 00:18:39.600 - And Jackie with no clothes on with an overcoat ― five. 391 00:18:39.600 --> 00:18:41.160 - OK. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 392 00:18:41.160 --> 00:18:42.640 - Thank you very much. Thank you very much. 393 00:18:42.640 --> 00:18:45.080 - OK, so how's that affected the overall scores, then? 394 00:18:45.080 --> 00:18:49.160 - Leading episode five with 12 points ― Bree Tomasel. 395 00:18:49.160 --> 00:18:53.560 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) - It's early days. Early days. 396 00:18:53.720 --> 00:18:56.520 - Let's keep it moving, shall we? What have you got next for me? 397 00:18:56.520 --> 00:19:01.000 - Here my voice, I entreat. It's time for another task. 398 00:19:01.120 --> 00:19:03.120 (QUIRKY THEME MUSIC) 399 00:19:07.800 --> 00:19:09.800 - Oh, Paul. 400 00:19:10.280 --> 00:19:12.080 - Paul Williams. 401 00:19:12.080 --> 00:19:13.720 - Hello, Paul. 402 00:19:13.720 --> 00:19:15.920 - Ooh, patriotic. - Mm-hm. 403 00:19:16.320 --> 00:19:18.280 - Oh. 404 00:19:18.280 --> 00:19:20.880 READS: 'Improve our national anthem.' 405 00:19:20.880 --> 00:19:22.800 - 'Biggest improvement wins.' 406 00:19:22.800 --> 00:19:24.560 - 'You have 40 minutes.' 407 00:19:24.560 --> 00:19:26.640 - 'Your time starts now.' 408 00:19:26.880 --> 00:19:28.400 - Oh boy. 409 00:19:28.400 --> 00:19:29.600 - How does it go? 410 00:19:29.600 --> 00:19:31.480 # God of Nations... 411 00:19:31.480 --> 00:19:32.600 - # ...at thy... 412 00:19:32.600 --> 00:19:33.640 - # ...feet. 413 00:19:33.640 --> 00:19:35.120 - # ...in the... - # ...in the... 414 00:19:35.120 --> 00:19:36.200 - # ...bonds of... 415 00:19:36.200 --> 00:19:37.520 - # Deedle-dee-dee-dee. # 416 00:19:37.520 --> 00:19:43.000 - Maybe we bleep every word or reference to things that I'm not comfortable with. 417 00:19:43.000 --> 00:19:44.680 - God. - Beep. 418 00:19:44.680 --> 00:19:48.000 - From the shaft? What shaft are we talking about? 419 00:19:48.000 --> 00:19:49.840 - Shaft ― absolutely not. 420 00:19:49.840 --> 00:19:55.160 - The national anthem, when does it play? Before epic sporting moments. 421 00:19:55.160 --> 00:20:00.960 Do you remember an epic sporting moment from any of my tasks recently? 422 00:20:01.040 --> 00:20:05.280 - I think we need to scrap the English. - Do you speak any other languages? 423 00:20:05.280 --> 00:20:08.080 - I speak Farsi... - OK. - ...which is the language of Iran. 424 00:20:08.080 --> 00:20:10.320 I think New Zealand would be, like, on board with that. 425 00:20:10.320 --> 00:20:13.320 - I feel like we go for, like, a Pitbull type of vibe, 426 00:20:13.320 --> 00:20:17.960 because nothing gets me more hyped than Mr Worldwide. - Agreed. 427 00:20:17.960 --> 00:20:19.960 - Culo! 428 00:20:19.960 --> 00:20:21.960 (APPLAUSE) 429 00:20:23.280 --> 00:20:26.440 - You don't look particularly excited about watching this task, Bree. 430 00:20:26.440 --> 00:20:30.360 - This is the one task that I hoped would be cut from the show. 431 00:20:30.360 --> 00:20:32.680 - Bree― Bree has said that to us in the green room. - Multiple times. 432 00:20:32.680 --> 00:20:34.120 - PAX: She says it every morning. 433 00:20:34.120 --> 00:20:39.440 - I've lived here for eight years, and I've done a lot of stuff that I thought would get me deported, 434 00:20:39.440 --> 00:20:42.240 but I'm pretty positive... (LAUGHTER) 435 00:20:42.240 --> 00:20:43.520 ...that this will be it. 436 00:20:43.520 --> 00:20:45.400 - I've also done a lot of stuff that could get me deported, 437 00:20:45.400 --> 00:20:49.680 but I was born here, so you can't do anything about it, sucker! (LAUGHTER) 438 00:20:49.680 --> 00:20:55.160 - Whose anthem are we gonna hear first, Paul? - It's Alice Snedden. 439 00:20:56.000 --> 00:20:59.920 - The New Zealand national anthem ― it's just not good enough. 440 00:20:59.920 --> 00:21:08.040 I have reconstructed it, both to give it a sicker beat and to get rid of any language I deemedoffensive. 441 00:21:08.040 --> 00:21:09.480 Thank you. 442 00:21:09.480 --> 00:21:11.200 I should've done a mihi. 443 00:21:11.200 --> 00:21:12.360 (LAUGHTER) 444 00:21:12.360 --> 00:21:13.840 (PLAYS MUSICAL FLOURISH) 445 00:21:13.840 --> 00:21:15.680 (PERCUSSIVE MUSIC PLAYS) 446 00:21:15.680 --> 00:21:17.960 (TOOT!) - # ...of... (TOOT!) 447 00:21:17.960 --> 00:21:20.240 # ...at thy feet. 448 00:21:20.400 --> 00:21:22.680 # In the bonds of 449 00:21:22.760 --> 00:21:25.200 # love we meat. - M-E-A-T. 450 00:21:25.360 --> 00:21:27.360 - # Hear our voices... 451 00:21:27.440 --> 00:21:29.520 - BOTH: # ...we ask of you. 452 00:21:29.960 --> 00:21:31.160 (TOOT!) 453 00:21:31.160 --> 00:21:34.560 (TOOT!) - # ...our free land. 454 00:21:34.640 --> 00:21:39.120 (TOOT!) # ...Pacific's triple star 455 00:21:39.440 --> 00:21:41.240 # from the... (TOOT!) 456 00:21:41.240 --> 00:21:42.440 # ...of... (TOOT!) 457 00:21:42.440 --> 00:21:44.320 # ...and... (TOOT!) 458 00:21:44.320 --> 00:21:46.320 # Make... (TOOT! TOOT!) 459 00:21:46.560 --> 00:21:48.840 # ...heard afar. 460 00:21:48.840 --> 00:21:50.760 (TOOT! SQUEAK! SQUEAK!) 461 00:21:50.760 --> 00:21:52.600 # ...New Zea... 462 00:21:52.600 --> 00:21:53.800 # e... 463 00:21:53.800 --> 00:21:56.840 # land. # 464 00:21:57.800 --> 00:21:59.800 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 465 00:22:02.600 --> 00:22:06.960 - Firstly, let me congratulations you for adding that sick beat. (LAUGHTER) 466 00:22:06.960 --> 00:22:11.160 Could we go through some of the words that you took issue with and cut out? - Sure. Yup. 467 00:22:11.160 --> 00:22:17.800 - Firstly, the word 'nations', which is quite important, I guess, if― if it's a national anthem. 468 00:22:17.800 --> 00:22:22.440 - Well, I just think, you know, what's nationalism ever done for us? (LAUGHTER) 469 00:22:22.440 --> 00:22:24.600 - What about the word 'guard'? 470 00:22:24.600 --> 00:22:27.680 - 'Guard' was gone? Um... (LAUGHTER) 471 00:22:28.720 --> 00:22:31.200 Um, cos I think why be guarded? 472 00:22:31.680 --> 00:22:36.520 Vulnerability is the most powerful thing that you could ever have. You know? 473 00:22:36.520 --> 00:22:37.720 - Like guarded from the truth. 474 00:22:37.720 --> 00:22:40.760 - And then you replaced the word 'meet' with 'meat'. 475 00:22:40.760 --> 00:22:43.920 - Yeah, that's just a personal preference. Uh... (LAUGHTER) 476 00:22:43.920 --> 00:22:46.640 - I'm ready for another anthem, Paul. 477 00:22:46.640 --> 00:22:51.720 - Draped in a flag with the Union Jack, it's Union Jack Ansett. 478 00:22:54.120 --> 00:22:56.840 - # God of Nations 479 00:22:56.840 --> 00:22:59.120 # at thy feet. 480 00:22:59.640 --> 00:23:02.480 # Inthebondsof 481 00:23:02.480 --> 00:23:05.240 # love we meet. 482 00:23:05.600 --> 00:23:08.360 # Hear our voices 483 00:23:08.360 --> 00:23:11.120 # we entreat. 484 00:23:11.400 --> 00:23:13.440 # God defend 485 00:23:13.440 --> 00:23:16.760 # our free land. 486 00:23:17.240 --> 00:23:20.080 # Guard Pacific's 487 00:23:20.320 --> 00:23:22.640 # triple star 488 00:23:23.240 --> 00:23:24.440 # from the shafts of... 489 00:23:24.440 --> 00:23:26.040 Yes! Yes! 490 00:23:26.040 --> 00:23:28.360 # ...strife and war. 491 00:23:29.400 --> 00:23:30.480 # Make her praises... 492 00:23:30.480 --> 00:23:32.520 Come on! Come on! Come on! 493 00:23:32.520 --> 00:23:35.520 # ...heard afar. 494 00:23:37.280 --> 00:23:39.680 # God defend 495 00:23:39.680 --> 00:23:44.120 # New Zealand. # 496 00:23:44.120 --> 00:23:45.960 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 497 00:23:45.960 --> 00:23:47.960 DISTORTED: Oh! 498 00:23:48.160 --> 00:23:49.920 Oh! 499 00:23:49.920 --> 00:23:51.920 Whoo! 500 00:23:53.040 --> 00:23:54.840 Thank you! 501 00:23:54.840 --> 00:23:57.040 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 502 00:23:58.520 --> 00:24:02.040 - I think I along with a lot of people at home will be asking the question there, Jack ― 503 00:24:02.040 --> 00:24:04.640 in what way is that an improvement? (LAUGHTER) 504 00:24:04.640 --> 00:24:07.240 - My amazing kick was included. 505 00:24:07.920 --> 00:24:11.560 - What's happening at any sporting event you're turning up to ― say the All Blacks are playing... 506 00:24:11.560 --> 00:24:12.760 - Yeah. - ...you sing the anthem, 507 00:24:12.760 --> 00:24:15.600 and then on the big screens, they play you kicking a ball in Taskmaster... 508 00:24:15.600 --> 00:24:17.240 - Yes. - ...into a caravan. 509 00:24:17.240 --> 00:24:21.600 - Jack― Jack, be honest. Is it just because you wanted us to see your awesome kick again? 510 00:24:21.600 --> 00:24:22.480 Cos it was an awesome kick. 511 00:24:22.480 --> 00:24:26.600 - I just think you guys are all ganging up on the young guy because I'm an easy target, 512 00:24:26.600 --> 00:24:31.240 and that is a reflection on you as comedians. You get the low-hanging fruit. 513 00:24:31.240 --> 00:24:36.000 - Only you could make being a straight white man in comedy... (LAUGHTER) 514 00:24:36.000 --> 00:24:39.200 ...the low-hanging fruit. - (LAUGHS) 515 00:24:40.560 --> 00:24:42.840 - I'm just not listening. You guys carry on. I'm just gonna play on my phone. 516 00:24:42.840 --> 00:24:45.000 - JACKIE: We can carry on. (LAUGHTER) 517 00:24:45.000 --> 00:24:51.200 - We've got three more national anthems to go, but first, let's enjoy the global anthem of ads. 518 00:24:51.200 --> 00:24:57.400 It's time for more of them. We'll see you in a moment. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 519 00:25:01.000 --> 00:25:03.000 (QUIRKY THEME MUSIC) 520 00:25:03.480 --> 00:25:05.440 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 521 00:25:05.440 --> 00:25:08.840 - Tena tatou katoa. Welcome back to Taskmaster, 522 00:25:08.840 --> 00:25:15.720 where five comedians are working as hard as they can to win Suzy Cato and Art Green's fart. 523 00:25:15.720 --> 00:25:17.520 What were we doing before the break, Paul? 524 00:25:17.520 --> 00:25:20.880 - Our comedians were attempting to improve the national anthem. 525 00:25:20.880 --> 00:25:24.160 So far we've seen Alice Snedden censor half the words 526 00:25:24.160 --> 00:25:28.880 and Jack Ansett turn the celebration of our nation into the celebration of himself. 527 00:25:28.880 --> 00:25:34.480 - Excellent stuff. And, as always, please address all of your complaints to those comedians directly. 528 00:25:34.480 --> 00:25:35.920 Thanks very much. (LAUGHTER) 529 00:25:35.920 --> 00:25:37.080 Who's up next, Paul? 530 00:25:37.080 --> 00:25:41.080 - Up next with some light treason, it's Pax Assadi. 531 00:25:41.080 --> 00:25:42.240 - Are you ready? - Yeah. 532 00:25:42.240 --> 00:25:45.520 - Are you proud of what we created? - I'm not sure what you've created. 533 00:25:45.520 --> 00:25:46.960 - Well, I'm gonna be honest with you. 534 00:25:46.960 --> 00:25:49.760 I've gone in, like, a slightly different direction. - OK. 535 00:25:49.760 --> 00:25:54.040 - But still I think middle New Zealand and the South Island are gonna love it. 536 00:25:54.040 --> 00:25:57.080 And you wholeheartedly endorse everything I'm about to sing, yeah? 537 00:25:57.080 --> 00:25:58.560 - I don't know what you're about to sing. 538 00:25:58.560 --> 00:26:00.560 - But just yes or no? 539 00:26:01.200 --> 00:26:02.600 - Yes. - OK. 540 00:26:02.600 --> 00:26:04.520 Unravel the flag. 541 00:26:04.520 --> 00:26:05.880 Music! 542 00:26:05.880 --> 00:26:08.880 (PERCUSSIVE MILITARY MUSIC PLAYS) 543 00:26:13.720 --> 00:26:15.720 - (SINGS IN FARSI) 544 00:26:55.520 --> 00:26:56.800 (MUSIC ENDS) 545 00:26:56.800 --> 00:26:58.800 Kia kaha, New Zealand. 546 00:26:58.880 --> 00:27:00.880 (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE) 547 00:27:02.520 --> 00:27:05.040 - So, Pax, did you improve the national anthem? 548 00:27:05.040 --> 00:27:10.920 Or did you write an anthem for a new quasi-Iranian military dictatorship? 549 00:27:10.920 --> 00:27:17.000 - Yeah, it's a national anthem for a new, um, state that is located in New Lynn... 550 00:27:17.000 --> 00:27:19.400 (LAUGHTER) ...where I live. 551 00:27:19.400 --> 00:27:24.680 - The beret was an interesting move. It felt quite Gaddafi-esque. 552 00:27:24.680 --> 00:27:27.840 - It suited you way too much. - Yeah, yeah. 553 00:27:27.840 --> 00:27:31.240 And, you know, I miss Gaddafi. (LAUGHTER) 554 00:27:31.240 --> 00:27:34.440 Oh, sorry. I miss Gaddafi. (LAUGHTER) 555 00:27:35.760 --> 00:27:38.040 - HIGH-PITCHED: Holy shit. 556 00:27:38.160 --> 00:27:40.520 - I think I'm ready for another anthem, Paul. 557 00:27:40.520 --> 00:27:43.600 (SPEAKS GIBBERISH) Jackie van Beek. 558 00:27:44.560 --> 00:27:49.320 - Hello. You may not recognise me, but my name is Jackie van Beek. I'm just wearing a wig. 559 00:27:49.320 --> 00:27:54.720 We are going to sing the national anthem for you, but this version will be entirely in gibberish, 560 00:27:54.720 --> 00:27:57.800 a language thateverybodyloves and knows. 561 00:27:57.800 --> 00:28:00.120 OK, hit it, Paul. Give me my starting note. 562 00:28:00.120 --> 00:28:04.000 (SINGS 'GOD DEFEND NEW ZEALAND' IN GIBBERISH) 563 00:28:19.560 --> 00:28:21.480 You may be a road worker. 564 00:28:21.480 --> 00:28:24.360 (CONTINUES SINGING IN GIBBERISH) 565 00:28:36.880 --> 00:28:37.800 Thank you. 566 00:28:37.800 --> 00:28:40.680 (CONTINUES SINGING IN GIBBERISH) 567 00:28:45.480 --> 00:28:48.680 - Was that German? - No, gibberish. Ciao. 568 00:28:48.680 --> 00:28:49.800 - Ciao. 569 00:28:49.800 --> 00:28:51.680 - Or should I say Auf Wiedersehen. (CHUCKLES) 570 00:28:51.680 --> 00:28:53.680 (LAUGHTER) 571 00:28:53.840 --> 00:28:55.840 (APPLAUSE) 572 00:28:55.880 --> 00:28:57.760 - PAX: Beautiful. - Thank you. 573 00:28:57.760 --> 00:29:01.560 - I'm sure you won't mind me asking, Jackie, but what the hell was that? (LAUGHTER) 574 00:29:01.560 --> 00:29:05.960 - I've tried to make our national anthem more accessible, something that everybody can sing. 575 00:29:05.960 --> 00:29:08.680 You can improvise it. You don't need to learn the words. 576 00:29:08.680 --> 00:29:11.680 - Jackie, I don't know if you've been to, like, a school assembly in the South Island, 577 00:29:11.680 --> 00:29:15.600 but that's how they sing the national anthem already. (LAUGHTER) 578 00:29:15.600 --> 00:29:19.200 - OK, you've got one more national anthem for me, Paul. 579 00:29:19.200 --> 00:29:22.320 - She's here to answer the question we've all been asking for years ― 580 00:29:22.320 --> 00:29:27.520 what if instead of being written by the Irish poet Thomas Bracken in 1976 581 00:29:27.520 --> 00:29:32.440 our national anthem was written by the Cuban-American rapper Pitbull? (LAUGHTER) 582 00:29:32.440 --> 00:29:36.320 Finally, we'll know for sure. Here she is, Bree Tomasel. 583 00:29:36.320 --> 00:29:38.320 (LATIN MUSIC) 584 00:29:40.960 --> 00:29:43.320 - We're going down under for this one. 585 00:29:43.320 --> 00:29:45.320 Where the hard Kiwis at? 586 00:29:47.320 --> 00:29:49.320 We love ya. 587 00:29:49.800 --> 00:29:52.440 Mrs 0-6-1-0 in the house. 588 00:29:53.200 --> 00:29:55.200 And that's Paul. Culo! 589 00:29:56.960 --> 00:29:58.840 (LAUGHTER) 590 00:29:58.840 --> 00:29:59.720 Culo! 591 00:29:59.720 --> 00:30:01.720 (RAPS) 592 00:30:16.480 --> 00:30:19.080 Go, Paul. Let's see you shimmy. 593 00:30:21.040 --> 00:30:23.040 New Zealand. 594 00:30:25.040 --> 00:30:27.040 (LAUGHTER) 595 00:30:27.920 --> 00:30:29.920 We out. 596 00:30:30.240 --> 00:30:32.240 Stay golden, Pony Boy. 597 00:30:32.280 --> 00:30:34.280 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 598 00:30:35.600 --> 00:30:40.400 - That was impressive work. I mean, I never would have thought of rhyming 'tans' with 'New Zealand'. 599 00:30:40.400 --> 00:30:42.520 (LAUGHTER) - I'm a lyricist. 600 00:30:42.520 --> 00:30:46.720 - Why was Beyonce defending New Zealand? That's the only question I have to ask. 601 00:30:46.720 --> 00:30:50.640 - Look, I had a full-blown panic attack writing the lyrics, 602 00:30:50.640 --> 00:30:53.280 and that was the only person I could think of. 603 00:30:53.280 --> 00:30:54.960 - Replacing God, I believe. 604 00:30:54.960 --> 00:30:56.800 - Oh, OK. - Yeah. 605 00:30:56.800 --> 00:31:02.720 - So, for me, it's who did the least damage to the national anthem, not who improved it. 606 00:31:02.720 --> 00:31:07.360 I don't think anyone improved it. - OK, I'll be honest. Not only did I do audible audio damage, 607 00:31:07.360 --> 00:31:11.120 but I also probably did a lot of political damage, so, um, that's an issue. 608 00:31:11.120 --> 00:31:13.520 - I'm pleased you say that, and that's why I'm gonna give you one point. 609 00:31:13.520 --> 00:31:14.520 - WHISPERS: Shit. (LAUGHTER) 610 00:31:14.520 --> 00:31:16.480 - Jackie, I'll give you two points. 611 00:31:16.480 --> 00:31:18.840 Jack, three points for you. - K. 612 00:31:18.840 --> 00:31:25.480 - I think every sporting triumph that we've ever had was humiliated by what you did, but, still, that's fine. 613 00:31:25.480 --> 00:31:30.960 Four points for you, Alice, cos it wasn't as crap as the other ones. 614 00:31:31.200 --> 00:31:34.680 And then, believe it or not, Bree, you're gonna get five for vibe. 615 00:31:34.680 --> 00:31:37.880 - Whoa! - What?! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 616 00:31:39.280 --> 00:31:43.160 - We need to take a quick break so that we can formally write to the New Zealand Government 617 00:31:43.160 --> 00:31:50.440 and apologise for what we've just done. We'll see you after this. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 618 00:31:53.400 --> 00:31:55.400 (QUIRKY THEME MUSIC) 619 00:31:56.520 --> 00:31:58.440 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 620 00:31:58.440 --> 00:32:02.040 - Hoki mai. Welcome back to Taskmaster, the only show brave enough to admit 621 00:32:02.040 --> 00:32:06.040 that writing the New Zealand national anthem is harder than it looks. 622 00:32:06.040 --> 00:32:08.560 I think it's best that we move on to another task, Paul. 623 00:32:08.560 --> 00:32:13.880 - Jeremy, this task involves clowns, but enough about the contestants. (LAUGHTER) 624 00:32:13.880 --> 00:32:15.880 Here it is. 625 00:32:16.040 --> 00:32:18.440 (EERIE, QUIRKY THEME MUSIC) 626 00:32:25.720 --> 00:32:27.720 - Hi, Paul. - Hello, Jack. 627 00:32:27.720 --> 00:32:29.720 - How are we? - Not good. 628 00:32:29.840 --> 00:32:31.440 - Oh. 629 00:32:31.440 --> 00:32:33.000 - Aha. 630 00:32:33.000 --> 00:32:35.000 - Jackie. 631 00:32:35.560 --> 00:32:36.240 - Oh! 632 00:32:36.240 --> 00:32:38.440 - You found your siblings. 633 00:32:38.960 --> 00:32:40.000 - That's not nice. 634 00:32:40.000 --> 00:32:45.680 - I was just gonna go and check out the, uh, Gold Rush. - Time for a task. 635 00:32:48.280 --> 00:32:49.760 - All righty. 636 00:32:49.760 --> 00:32:52.960 - READS: 'Get a ball into a clown's mouth.' 637 00:32:52.960 --> 00:32:54.040 That's disgusting. 638 00:32:54.040 --> 00:32:56.760 - 'If attempting from the closest spot...' 639 00:32:56.760 --> 00:32:58.320 - '...you may use the spoon.' 640 00:32:58.320 --> 00:33:02.080 - 'If attempting from the furthest spot, the clowns will not be moving.' 641 00:33:02.080 --> 00:33:06.440 - 'If successful from the furthest spot, your time will be halved.' 642 00:33:06.440 --> 00:33:08.920 - 'You may not move the spots.' 643 00:33:08.920 --> 00:33:10.360 - 'Both feet must be on your spot.' 644 00:33:10.360 --> 00:33:12.360 - 'Your time starts now.' OK. 645 00:33:12.360 --> 00:33:14.320 - Can I do one and then decide to do another one? 646 00:33:14.320 --> 00:33:16.720 - You can switch. - OK. Sweet. 647 00:33:18.240 --> 00:33:20.120 - So, this doesn't seem too difficult, this task? 648 00:33:20.120 --> 00:33:23.880 - No. Really straight forward. Get one ball in the clown's mouth. 649 00:33:23.880 --> 00:33:26.720 - OK. Who's feeding the clown's mouth first, Paul? 650 00:33:26.720 --> 00:33:28.680 - They're the only parents this season, 651 00:33:28.680 --> 00:33:32.080 so hopefully they've had some experience feeding a human being. 652 00:33:32.080 --> 00:33:34.080 It's Jackie and Pax. 653 00:33:34.760 --> 00:33:37.680 - Quick question ― if I throw you the ball, you could pop it in for me? 654 00:33:37.680 --> 00:33:38.760 - You could try. 655 00:33:38.760 --> 00:33:40.200 - Here we go. So just po... 656 00:33:40.200 --> 00:33:43.000 OK, that's not very cooperative. 657 00:33:44.760 --> 00:33:46.760 It's a confidence game. 658 00:33:48.120 --> 00:33:50.600 Maybe I'd be better if I closed my eyes. 659 00:33:50.600 --> 00:33:52.440 - PAX: What? 660 00:33:52.440 --> 00:33:54.760 Get in the mouth. That's a weird thing to yell. 661 00:33:54.760 --> 00:33:56.960 - Paul, could you just quickly scurry around and collect the balls for me, please? 662 00:33:56.960 --> 00:33:58.840 - Can I change my choice? - You can. 663 00:33:58.840 --> 00:34:01.040 - Just a couple more tries. 664 00:34:02.400 --> 00:34:03.400 OK, I change. 665 00:34:03.400 --> 00:34:06.480 - (GROANS) OK. I think I'm gonna change tack. 666 00:34:06.480 --> 00:34:08.800 Can I have the clowns moving and not use the spoon? 667 00:34:08.800 --> 00:34:11.800 - You may use the spoon, but you don't have to. 668 00:34:11.800 --> 00:34:16.280 - OK, well, now that you say that, I wanna use the spoon. 669 00:34:17.880 --> 00:34:19.280 - Ooh. (LAUGHS) 670 00:34:19.280 --> 00:34:20.760 OK, I'm gonna throw. 671 00:34:20.760 --> 00:34:25.600 All I can hope is that everyone else is unbelievably uncoordinated. 672 00:34:25.600 --> 00:34:27.600 - Come on, man. 673 00:34:27.880 --> 00:34:29.880 OK. 674 00:34:33.440 --> 00:34:36.000 - Spoon. This is going really badly. 675 00:34:36.000 --> 00:34:38.640 - (IMITATES MECHANICAL WHIRRING) 676 00:34:38.640 --> 00:34:40.240 Time for scrummy. 677 00:34:40.240 --> 00:34:42.360 This is much harder than it looks! 678 00:34:42.360 --> 00:34:44.160 - This is really bad. 679 00:34:44.160 --> 00:34:45.880 - Time for scrummy. 680 00:34:45.880 --> 00:34:46.480 (DING!) 681 00:34:46.480 --> 00:34:47.920 Yes! 682 00:34:47.920 --> 00:34:48.720 (DING!) 683 00:34:48.720 --> 00:34:49.680 - I've stopped the clock. 684 00:34:49.680 --> 00:34:52.280 - (EXCLAIMS) I mean, beat that. 685 00:34:52.800 --> 00:34:54.880 - Thank you, Jackie. - OK. 686 00:34:57.000 --> 00:34:58.880 (LAUGHTER) 687 00:34:58.880 --> 00:35:01.080 - MUFFLED: Thank you, Pax. 688 00:35:01.280 --> 00:35:03.280 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 689 00:35:05.080 --> 00:35:08.560 - I imagine, Pax, that that ball would've been on the ground a couple of times, actually, 690 00:35:08.560 --> 00:35:09.480 before you fed it to Paul. 691 00:35:09.480 --> 00:35:12.720 - Yeah, that ball went to a lot of strange places before it went into Paul's mouth. 692 00:35:12.720 --> 00:35:14.800 But, um, that task was... 693 00:35:15.280 --> 00:35:17.040 weirdly difficult. - Yeah. 694 00:35:17.040 --> 00:35:21.640 But the mounting frustration from even just watching that task was incredible. 695 00:35:21.640 --> 00:35:24.440 - Yeah, Jackie, you were clearly struggling with the throwing, 696 00:35:24.440 --> 00:35:28.280 but then at one stage, you thought maybe you'd be better if you closed your eyes. 697 00:35:28.280 --> 00:35:33.000 - Often I am if I just kind of free my mind, close my eyes and just go for it, yeah. 698 00:35:33.000 --> 00:35:36.520 - I have seen her drive. It's terrifying. (LAUGHTER) 699 00:35:36.520 --> 00:35:39.960 - So, in terms of times, Paul, what are we looking at there? 700 00:35:39.960 --> 00:35:43.560 - Jackie ― three minutes, 41 seconds. - Happy with that. 701 00:35:43.560 --> 00:35:47.640 - Pax ― six minutes, three seconds. - BREE: Not as good. 702 00:35:47.640 --> 00:35:50.040 - It felt longer. (LAUGHTER) 703 00:35:50.560 --> 00:35:52.720 - So, both went from the closest mat. 704 00:35:52.720 --> 00:35:56.320 - Who have we got next, Paul? - Bree and Jack. 705 00:35:56.600 --> 00:35:59.480 - I'm just gonna try... get a few in. 706 00:36:02.280 --> 00:36:04.680 - From my softball days, Paul. 707 00:36:04.680 --> 00:36:07.600 - Do I have to have both feet on the mat? - Uh, yes. 708 00:36:07.600 --> 00:36:09.600 - OK. 709 00:36:11.120 --> 00:36:12.240 - (SIGHS) 710 00:36:12.240 --> 00:36:14.240 - Don't worry, Paul. We won't need too much more of those. 711 00:36:14.240 --> 00:36:17.920 - You know what I love, Paul ― I love a montage. 712 00:36:18.040 --> 00:36:20.040 Cue montage. Hi-yah! 713 00:36:22.840 --> 00:36:24.800 (EXCLAIMS) 714 00:36:24.800 --> 00:36:26.080 Gah! 715 00:36:26.080 --> 00:36:27.080 No quitter, Paul. 716 00:36:27.080 --> 00:36:30.720 - When I get this in, I want it played at my funeral. Can you see to that? 717 00:36:30.720 --> 00:36:32.720 - What, kill you? - What? 718 00:36:36.720 --> 00:36:40.680 Well, do you wanna, like, just Google some quotes, like, about success? 719 00:36:40.680 --> 00:36:42.400 There might be a few Dumbledore quotes. 720 00:36:42.400 --> 00:36:47.200 - It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. - Wow. 721 00:36:47.200 --> 00:36:50.280 - You getting hungry, Paul? - Yeah. - Yeah, I'm pretty hungry too. 722 00:36:50.280 --> 00:36:54.240 - Tell you who's really hungry. - Yeah. - This guy. 723 00:36:54.240 --> 00:37:00.440 - You guys want me to cave and do the spoon, don't ya? I'm not caving. - I know. 724 00:37:04.760 --> 00:37:06.760 (DING!) 725 00:37:06.920 --> 00:37:08.480 - Thanks, mate. - Thank you, Bree. 726 00:37:08.480 --> 00:37:10.000 - See ya. - Bye. 727 00:37:10.000 --> 00:37:15.360 - Oh my God. They're getting another memory card. That's how you know you're taking too long. 728 00:37:15.360 --> 00:37:16.680 (GROANS) 729 00:37:16.680 --> 00:37:17.960 Where are those quotes, Paul? 730 00:37:17.960 --> 00:37:19.320 (GROANS) 731 00:37:19.320 --> 00:37:21.320 (SPEECH OVERLAPS) 732 00:37:23.200 --> 00:37:24.760 Yeah, I've got a plan. 733 00:37:24.760 --> 00:37:28.280 I'm gonna get some blocks, and I'm gonna make a funnel. 734 00:37:28.280 --> 00:37:30.280 OK. 735 00:37:34.560 --> 00:37:36.560 Aah! 736 00:37:37.200 --> 00:37:39.040 Just need to push it in. 737 00:37:39.040 --> 00:37:40.520 Push it in. Push it in. 738 00:37:40.520 --> 00:37:42.520 With one more. 739 00:37:42.880 --> 00:37:44.080 Come on. One last push. 740 00:37:44.080 --> 00:37:45.400 (DING!) 741 00:37:45.400 --> 00:37:47.480 - I've stopped the clock. 742 00:37:47.880 --> 00:37:49.880 - Oh my God. 743 00:37:50.360 --> 00:37:52.360 WHISPERS: Thank you. 744 00:37:52.400 --> 00:37:54.400 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 745 00:37:56.440 --> 00:37:58.600 Wow. - Jack, what was it about this task 746 00:37:58.600 --> 00:38:01.680 that made you bring up your death multiple times? (LAUGHTER) 747 00:38:01.680 --> 00:38:05.280 - I don't think that footage reflected how painful that was. 748 00:38:05.280 --> 00:38:10.080 - I will forever be haunted by hearing you say, 'Push it in. Push it in. Come on. Just onemore push.' 749 00:38:10.080 --> 00:38:12.040 (LAUGHTER) 750 00:38:12.040 --> 00:38:15.440 - Bree, you looked like a clown had done something to you at some stage. 751 00:38:15.440 --> 00:38:19.120 Like, the idea of biffing them that hard ― did you think that was gonna help them go in? 752 00:38:19.120 --> 00:38:23.480 - Honestly, I could not wipe my arse for three days. (LAUGHTER) 753 00:38:23.480 --> 00:38:28.880 My arm and shoulder was so sore from, like, throwing so many balls, 754 00:38:28.880 --> 00:38:33.400 and then ― I'm not joking ― got it in first go with the spoon. Who would've known? 755 00:38:33.400 --> 00:38:35.400 - Oh, OK. (LAUGHTER) 756 00:38:35.640 --> 00:38:41.040 - So, Bree took 29 minutes and 36 seconds, which was 186 attempts. 757 00:38:41.280 --> 00:38:44.760 Jack ― 55 minutes and eight seconds. - Oh! Not bad. 758 00:38:44.760 --> 00:38:48.240 - Yes, which was 639 attempts. (LAUGHTER) 759 00:38:48.560 --> 00:38:50.320 But... - PAX: Jeez. 760 00:38:50.320 --> 00:38:55.920 - ...he did get it from the furthest spot, which means it's halved to 27 minutes and 34 seconds. 761 00:38:55.920 --> 00:39:01.120 (APPLAUSE) - I mean, I gotta say, the funnel was quite a feat of ad-hoc engineering. 762 00:39:01.120 --> 00:39:02.280 - Thank you. Thanks for the compliment. 763 00:39:02.280 --> 00:39:04.800 - Well, I would actually like to say a couple more things. - Oh, you will. OK. 764 00:39:04.800 --> 00:39:09.080 - The task did say both your feet had to be on the spot. 765 00:39:09.080 --> 00:39:11.760 - Oh, for God's sake. (LAUGHTER) 766 00:39:11.760 --> 00:39:13.760 - Roll tape. - Ooh! 767 00:39:14.360 --> 00:39:17.160 - I wouldn't say that's in the mouth. 768 00:39:17.160 --> 00:39:19.040 DISTORTED: In the mouth. 769 00:39:19.080 --> 00:39:21.040 DISTORTED: In the mouth. 770 00:39:21.080 --> 00:39:23.160 DISTORTED: In the mouth. 771 00:39:24.040 --> 00:39:26.800 - (SIGHS) - That's definitely disqualified. 772 00:39:26.800 --> 00:39:29.000 - Oh! (AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS) 773 00:39:29.360 --> 00:39:32.960 - If it's any consolation ― lovely calves. (LAUGHTER) 774 00:39:32.960 --> 00:39:35.520 - They looked great. - Lovely calves. - Beautiful. 775 00:39:35.520 --> 00:39:39.560 - It's break time now, but we'll be back soon with more from the mouthy clowns 776 00:39:39.560 --> 00:39:45.760 and also the rest of the task. We'll see you shortly. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 777 00:39:49.320 --> 00:39:51.320 (QUIRKY THEME MUSIC) 778 00:39:51.600 --> 00:39:53.600 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 779 00:39:54.600 --> 00:39:59.920 - Welcome back to Taskmaster, where comedians are trying to force food into the mouths of clowns 780 00:39:59.920 --> 00:40:06.200 in what I'm sure for one young viewer at home is a formative moment in the beginning of a lifelong fear. 781 00:40:06.200 --> 00:40:10.320 Who's the contestant heading to clown town next, Paul? - It's Alice Snedden. 782 00:40:10.320 --> 00:40:12.720 - 'Your time starts now.' OK. 783 00:40:16.200 --> 00:40:18.480 Can I change my mind? - Yeah. 784 00:40:21.760 --> 00:40:23.040 (DING!) 785 00:40:23.040 --> 00:40:25.040 (AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS) 786 00:40:25.160 --> 00:40:26.800 (APPLAUSE) 787 00:40:26.800 --> 00:40:29.480 Both feet were on the mat. - Yeah. 788 00:40:29.800 --> 00:40:32.320 - Do you think that'll be a good time? - No. 789 00:40:32.320 --> 00:40:34.400 - What would you consider a bad time? 790 00:40:34.400 --> 00:40:37.080 - Anything above 10, 15 seconds. 791 00:40:37.400 --> 00:40:38.600 - OK. 792 00:40:38.600 --> 00:40:40.600 Thank you, Alice. 793 00:40:41.960 --> 00:40:43.960 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 794 00:40:44.040 --> 00:40:46.040 - Genius. 795 00:40:46.200 --> 00:40:47.680 - I mean, so easy. 796 00:40:47.680 --> 00:40:49.640 - That's how you do it. 797 00:40:49.640 --> 00:40:51.080 - But you had to use the spoon! 798 00:40:51.080 --> 00:40:52.240 - No. - No. 799 00:40:52.240 --> 00:40:53.960 - OK. (LAUGHTER) 800 00:40:53.960 --> 00:40:56.040 - I think it said you may use the spoon. 801 00:40:56.040 --> 00:41:02.320 - Every time I succeed on this show, Jack losesyearsof his life. (LAUGHTER) 802 00:41:02.520 --> 00:41:04.680 - If it was a soccer ball, I would've just... (IMITATES WHOOSHING) 803 00:41:04.680 --> 00:41:06.440 (LAUGHTER) 804 00:41:06.440 --> 00:41:08.640 - So, Jack ― disqualified. 805 00:41:08.720 --> 00:41:10.720 Bree ― 29.36. 806 00:41:10.960 --> 00:41:12.840 Pax ― 6.03. 807 00:41:12.840 --> 00:41:14.480 Jackie ― 3.41. 808 00:41:14.480 --> 00:41:16.440 Alice ― 2.28. 809 00:41:16.440 --> 00:41:21.840 So that's zero points for Jack, two points for Bree, three points for Pax, four points for Jackie, 810 00:41:21.840 --> 00:41:25.520 and five points for Alice Snedden. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 811 00:41:25.520 --> 00:41:27.280 - BREE: Good show. Good show. 812 00:41:27.280 --> 00:41:30.560 - OK, how are the episode scores going, Paul? 813 00:41:30.560 --> 00:41:37.720 - In first with a four-point lead over second, it's Bree Tomasel. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 814 00:41:37.720 --> 00:41:43.200 - OK, you guys, head up on to the stage for the final task of the show. 815 00:41:43.280 --> 00:41:45.280 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 816 00:41:46.960 --> 00:41:51.240 OK, Paul, who's reading the task tonight? - Pax Assadi. 817 00:41:51.240 --> 00:41:54.800 - READS: 'Count the popcorn popped. Closes to the correct amount wins. 818 00:41:54.800 --> 00:41:58.600 'Simultaneously, the Taskmaster will conduct a pop quiz. 819 00:41:58.600 --> 00:42:02.040 'You must pop a balloon of your assigned colour to submit an answer. 820 00:42:02.040 --> 00:42:07.040 'Each correct answer will offset your popcorn count five pops closer to the correct amount. 821 00:42:07.040 --> 00:42:13.200 'Each wrong answer will take your answer five pops further away from the correct amount.' 822 00:42:13.200 --> 00:42:14.800 - JACKIE: OK. 823 00:42:14.800 --> 00:42:16.280 (MICROWAVE BEEPS) - Are you ready? 824 00:42:16.280 --> 00:42:17.880 - Yes. - BREE: Mm-hm. (MICROWAVE BEEPS, WHIRRS) 825 00:42:17.880 --> 00:42:22.440 - In what ocean is the Bermuda Triangle located? (BALLOON POPS) 826 00:42:22.440 --> 00:42:25.160 Pax. - The Atlantic Ocean. - Correct. 827 00:42:25.160 --> 00:42:30.400 What is the name of the main character in the movie Home Alone? (BALLOONS POP) 828 00:42:30.400 --> 00:42:31.600 Bree. - Kevin. 829 00:42:31.600 --> 00:42:33.640 - Kevin... - McCallister. - Correct. 830 00:42:33.640 --> 00:42:38.120 The Grand Canyon lies in which American state? (BALLOON POPS) 831 00:42:38.120 --> 00:42:40.600 Yes? - AMERICAN ACCENT: Arizona. - Correct. 832 00:42:40.600 --> 00:42:46.880 Which band is made up of members with the names Larry, Adam, The Edge and Bono? 833 00:42:46.880 --> 00:42:48.000 - Oh! (BALLOON POPS) 834 00:42:48.000 --> 00:42:50.000 Maroon 5! - No. 835 00:42:50.200 --> 00:42:55.160 How many states are there in the United Arab Emirates? (AIR SQUEAKS, BALLOON POPS) 836 00:42:55.160 --> 00:42:56.720 Alice. 837 00:42:56.720 --> 00:42:57.880 - 12. - No. 838 00:42:57.880 --> 00:43:03.920 Have there been less or more than 1628 All Blacks? 839 00:43:04.320 --> 00:43:06.000 (BALLOONS POP) Jack. 840 00:43:06.000 --> 00:43:07.560 - Less. - Correct. 841 00:43:07.560 --> 00:43:11.400 What colours are on the flag of the Ivory Coast? 842 00:43:11.400 --> 00:43:12.920 (BALLOON POPS) Pax. 843 00:43:12.920 --> 00:43:15.760 - I'm (BLEEP) dizzy. Um... (LAUGHTER) 844 00:43:15.760 --> 00:43:19.480 Orange. (MICROWAVE BEEPS) White. And green! 845 00:43:19.480 --> 00:43:22.320 Orange, white and green. - Correct. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 846 00:43:22.320 --> 00:43:25.960 (BALLOON POPS LOUDLY, EXCLAIMING) - Oh, that was horrific. 847 00:43:25.960 --> 00:43:27.960 - Landed it. - Oh! 848 00:43:28.040 --> 00:43:30.520 - Wow. - On your spots, please. 849 00:43:30.560 --> 00:43:32.840 Write your answer, please. 850 00:43:35.080 --> 00:43:36.160 - OK. 851 00:43:36.160 --> 00:43:38.600 - Alice. - 236 pops. 852 00:43:39.200 --> 00:43:41.600 - Bree. - I just went with 301. 853 00:43:41.680 --> 00:43:43.080 - Whoa! - JACK: Oh God. 854 00:43:43.080 --> 00:43:44.120 - Jack. 855 00:43:44.120 --> 00:43:46.120 - 76. (LAUGHTER) 856 00:43:46.680 --> 00:43:50.640 - Jackie. - Closer to what I had. I had 107. 857 00:43:50.760 --> 00:43:51.720 - Mm. 858 00:43:51.720 --> 00:43:52.840 - I went with 200. 859 00:43:52.840 --> 00:43:54.400 - OK, we've got all those? - Mm-hm. 860 00:43:54.400 --> 00:43:59.080 - Come on down, and we'll score it. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 861 00:44:00.360 --> 00:44:04.720 - So, the correct number of popcorn ― 371. 862 00:44:05.040 --> 00:44:06.240 - Oh! 863 00:44:06.240 --> 00:44:09.040 - So, after the quiz adjustments, 864 00:44:09.240 --> 00:44:11.240 Alice ― 231, 865 00:44:11.600 --> 00:44:13.360 Jack ― 81, 866 00:44:13.360 --> 00:44:15.080 Pax ― 210, 867 00:44:15.080 --> 00:44:16.840 Jackie ― 107, 868 00:44:16.840 --> 00:44:19.920 and Bree ― 306. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 869 00:44:21.600 --> 00:44:24.600 - Luck. - That means one point for Jack, two points for Jackie, 870 00:44:24.600 --> 00:44:28.480 three points for Pax, four points for Alice and five points for Bree. 871 00:44:28.480 --> 00:44:30.800 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) - Honestly. 872 00:44:30.800 --> 00:44:34.720 - So, let's talk about the episode scores, then, Paul. 873 00:44:34.720 --> 00:44:38.040 - The winner of episode five is Bree Tomasel. 874 00:44:38.040 --> 00:44:39.600 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 875 00:44:39.600 --> 00:44:46.440 - Congratulations, Bree. Please go and enjoy your rhyming items. - Get outta there, Jack! 876 00:44:46.440 --> 00:44:48.440 - Po manahau, Aotearoa. 877 00:44:48.720 --> 00:44:51.120 ('TASKMASTER' THEME MUSIC) 878 00:44:51.880 --> 00:44:53.880 - (SHRIEKS) - Yeah! 879 00:44:53.960 --> 00:44:55.960 It's Suzy Cato! 880 00:44:57.800 --> 00:44:59.800 Yeah! 881 00:45:01.640 --> 00:45:03.640 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 882 00:45:05.880 --> 00:45:07.160 - Oh! So sorry. 883 00:45:07.160 --> 00:45:09.160 - That's a bad start. 884 00:45:09.520 --> 00:45:10.360 - We can do better. 885 00:45:10.360 --> 00:45:12.480 - Ding-dong. Did anyone order a task? 886 00:45:12.480 --> 00:45:13.760 - Oh! (BLEEP)! 887 00:45:13.760 --> 00:45:15.760 - (GRUNTS) 888 00:45:15.920 --> 00:45:17.160 (CLATTERING) 889 00:45:17.160 --> 00:45:18.960 Blimey! 890 00:45:18.960 --> 00:45:19.680 - (EXCLAIMS) 891 00:45:19.680 --> 00:45:26.880 - I'm getting a vibe that you might be a cricket fanatic and not so much a kind of duck-archeryfanatic. 69726

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