Original subtitles

- Says here you're not an organ donor. - Yeah.

It's haram to save a life?

I don't want anybody mutilating my body after I die.

I mean, I'll donate money, shoes, whatever,

but I'm not meeting Allah without my kidneys.

I'm not even supposed to be reading your file.

I told you, I can't be your doctor.

After Ramy, I'm done helping friends.

Don't flatter yourself.

You're my second-opinion doctor.

I saw another guy first.

I already did the test.

Why don't you just read it, okay?

Well, your cholesterol is insane.

You're prediabetic.

You're basically on the verge of a coronary.

That's what my first doctor said.

- Did you talk to him? - No, it's obvious.

Look at the way you eat.

I follow a Mediterranean diet.

Eating the falafel you fry in your truck

isn't Mediterranean.

You need to eat healthier.

- Stop calling me fat. - All right?

I'm just prepared.

Prepared for what?

I don't know. Apocalypse.

Pandemic part two, three, four maybe.

My body can go without food or water

for at least two, three weeks.

It's like a savings account.

- Please do not try that. - You will die.

Could you just get off

of this traditional Western medicine?

I'm talking about some sahaba level stuff here.

How do you think our ancestors traversed the desert?

Without food or water, it goes in your fatty deposits

and it changes that to ketonic energy.

And then it metabolizes into water.

Stop listening to Joe Rogan.

It's science, okay?

I think I'm having a gut issue.

I just need a poop transplant.

- A fecal transplant? - Yeah.

Have you lost your mind?

- You're... you're Mo Rogan. - Fine.

I did get it off of Rogan, but it's true.

The doctor on there said, with healthy poop,

it can transform your entire body chemistry

within two days, all right?

I can transform my entire... cholesterol levels

without doing shit.

I just need new shit.

New shit? That's what...

Uncle Ahmed.

We're in the middle of a session...

The nurse said you didn't have a patient.

I don't. I'll be there in a minute.

Come here, Majed.

Uncle Ahmed?

That's a real patient, okay?

Her husband has a rare condition.

They flew him from Saudi for treatment.

We've been trying for almost a year.

Students have been observing him.

Nothing's working.

Yeah. I got a lot to deal with, okay?

So I need you to go home and have some vegetables

and take a yoga class.

Yoga?

Yes. Yoga.

I'd rather give up my kidneys.

What are you doing out here?

My mama told me to wait outside.

Do you wanna do some listening?

- Okay. - There you go.

Just grab it like that.

You just put it to your heart.

Have fun.

Hanan, I'm so sorry

I was with a patient. He abuses the medical system.

I looked at Faisal's numbers this morning,

and unfortunately, it's the same as yesterday.

We know his time is near.

That's why I wanted to speak with you.

We're making arrangements for after.

In the last ten months,

we've been in awe of you as a Muslim man.

The way you practice medicine,

the care you've shown to our son,

and all the prayers you've made with us.

I wish I could have done more.

Faisal's illness brought us closer together.

We've had conversations couples don't usually have.

We've talked about the type of man I would like to be with

after he dies.

Faisal has been so great about discussing it together.

Wow. That's very open.

And I kept thinking,

all I can pray for...

is a man like Ahmed.

And then I thought...

what if it was Ahmed?

What?

I shared how I was feeling with Faisal,

and he said he was thinking the exact same thing.

It was last month, when he could talk.

Oh, right. Okay.

Okay. Yeah.

I know you're married.

But I also know there are instances

where our faith allows a man to be married to more than one.

Are you...

Are you proposing to me?

Of course we'll have to discuss it

with your wife as well.

Islamically, she must be involved.

- Hanan, I'm very flattered. - I am.

And look, there's so many men out there

and someone as special as you,

I'm sure it's easy to find someone.

I've been on all the Muslim dating apps.

Every guy is the same.

After talking to them for an hour,

I realize they're looking for a wife

to replace their mother.

And I'm looking for a father for my son.

I mean, think of your friends.

Do you know any single, reliable Muslim men?

No, uh, not my friends.

No, no.

Look, you don't have to answer now.

Okay.

I just wanted you to know

you have Faisal's blessings

while he's still with us.

It's kind of hard to tell...

what's going on with him.

I...

Faisal, blink twice if you approve.

That feels like regular blinking.

I-I can't tell if the pace was simultaneous.

Uh, it's-it's...

Faisal, habibi, I know you're tired.

Nod your head so Ahmed knows.

Are you nodding from what Hanan was saying?

Is that the only direction you can move your head?

Look, it's not like I've considered

something like this before.

To be honest, I judged it.

But in this situation, I just feel...

This could be right.

What do we know?

Do we know if anything is right?

- No, it... it's the air. - I think I can't breathe.

What do you do about that?

Holy shit.

This is amazing.

- Mo, stop it. - You're not gonna convince me.

Bro, get over here. Okay?

Look, man, you gotta do it.

This is what you've been waiting for.

What are you talking about?

I can't do this. It's insane.

No. No.

How long you been wanting a kid?

You've been praying that Yasmin a changes her mind,

but she won't.

Okay, now God gave you this whole other thing.

This isn't right.

- I can't. - You're allowed four.

You're struggling at two?

What's the matter with you? Two is a cake walk.

Look, I know it's a little alternative,

but it's a legitimate solution.

Um, like a poop transplant.

I can't have a second wife.

You're the most indecisive person I know.

I'm starting to question your faith in Allah.

Why my faith in God?

'Cause you pray five times a day,

but you can't see a clear sign

when it's right in front of your face.

It's right here, and you can't see it.

Have you lost your mind?

- You gotta put that away. - The students use this.

This is as close as you're getting to having a baby.

- Ahmed. - Come on.

What's with all the measurements?

I think we're fine.

I told you we should have fixed the foundation

before we moved in.

Now the house is on a tilt.

It's affecting the qibla.

We need to be at compass 71.3,

true direction 58.4.

But the coordinates change every month.

So God's not gonna accept our prayer

if we're half a degree left of the Kaaba?

I don't exactly know how Allah judges.

Do you? Did he tell you?

What's wrong tonight?

Y-you know that patient I've been telling you about,

um, from Saudi?

The one with the kid?

Yeah. You know, uh...

Yeah, he's, uh...

not gonna make it.

He's dying.

Habibi, I'm so sorry.

Yeah, and, you know, his, uh...

his wife was saying...

Well, actually he and, uh, his wife were saying

that, you know, there's, um,

not a lot of good Muslim men,

which I think isn't really fair.

Yeah.

You know, we're such a small population,

and we have all this expectation of masculinity

put on us while simultaneously trying

to shed terrorist stereotypes.

Yeah. It's tough.

- It is, right? - It's very, very tough.

It's, you know, um...

And, you know, she was, um, asking, you know...

kind of, um, wondering, uh...

if I could, you know,

help with, uh, some of the...

family duties after he passes, you know?

Like at times of war when men would die.

When there was a shortage of men

and they took on other wives?

I was always afraid something like this would happen.

What? You were?

Yeah, it's in our faith,

and I know how by-the-book you are,

and I know how attractive you are to women,

especially when the pool of men are so small.

Muslim men are at war.

Uh, we are?

Yes.

We've lost our men to porn, white women,

general colonized thinking.

We're at war.

Well, you know, I'm at war with nobody, you know?

Obviously I'm a pacifist.

I'm just telling you what happened.

So...

- You wanna do this? - What? No!

Not a... not at all. God, no.

I was... just thinking.

You know?

Just, uh, a little bit.

Just a tiny bit.

You know?

Sh-sh-she does have a-a kid,

and I've...

You know, I've always wanted a kid, you know,

for-for a long time, and, you know...

since you don't want one...

Don't turn this on me.

I just wanted to give you all the info so you can decide.

So I can decide?

Yeah, Islamically, you'd have to approve something like this.

But I have to approve something you wanna do.

You want me to want this for both of us?

What the fuck is actually wrong with you?

Maybe you should just talk to her.

So I've been married to you since I was fucking 22,

but I'm supposed to go to a woman you just met

so she can tell me what you want?

- We should pray. - Let's just pray.

I'm praying upstairs.

That's not...

The house is sinking.

Ohm.

Ameen.

Let's go into Cat-Cow.

From here, let's go into a back bend.

Downward-Facing Dog.

Dena?

Let's get on the floor.

Shavasana.

What's up with all the body parts flying around?

You got tits, ass, camel-toe.

I'm just trying to exercise. The fuck is going on?

Well, the clothes are for flexibility.

- Mm. - But I'm sorry

that we don't dress to accommodate your hormones.

I mean, why don't you just do it

like at the mosque, right?

Keep the men in the front, women in the back,

everybody's in prayer mode.

Everybody's just focused, in the moment.

Dude, what's wrong with you?

What?

I'm just saying most of the men that go there

are not attractive to women, all right?

They're either out of shape or gay.

It's so weird.

Like, you're our age,

but you think like my uncle.

Sometimes I think the old ways are gonna die out,

and then I talk to you.

- You know what? - Ahmed's getting a second wife.

Now that's disturbing.

- What? - Yeah.

- Are you serious? - Yeah, I'm dead serious.

His patient's dying, and he's just swooping in.

Now that's old thinking.

Ahmed?

- No fucking way. - Yeah.

That's the kind of thing I would have expected from you.

- That's right. - Wait, what?

By the way, Yasmina's never gonna let that happen.

God, this whole multiple wives bullshit rule

is so patriarchal.

It's just... they do that,

then it should apply to women too.

It's gotta go both ways.

Want a second husband?

Maybe I do.

I have different sides to my personality.

Maybe I wanna express them with different men.

Ugh.

- Also, you know what? - It's illegal.

You cannot marry more than one person in this country.

What do you want from us?

Let me be clear about my intentions.

If I didn't have Majed, I would never bring this up.

I'm just looking for the right person to help me raise my son.

I'm looking for a practical setup,

the halal security of a marriage contract.

So this is about money?

I don't mean to sound stereotypical,

but I'm Saudi; I don't need money.

This is spiritual.

I feel like I've met a rare soul.

Do you love my husband?

I'm not delusional.

True love hasn't had time to grow.

But there is a strong attraction, yes.

He has qualities I deeply admire

that I'd hope he would pass on to Majed.

I get it. You love your son.

I think you're going though a lot right now,

and it seems like you're not thinking clearly.

I would take the time our faith gives you to process.

The 'iddah says there has to be four months

between the funeral of a spouse and a new marriage.

I'm not married anymore.

What?

Faisal and I divorced months ago

for this reason.

I wanted to talk to men while he was still alive.

And 'iddah for divorce is three menstrual cycles.

I've just had my third.

Time of death, 11:46 a.m.

Are you sure?

What?

Are you sure he's dead?

Yeah.

Let's give it a sec.

You sound great, Steve.

Somehow, you're improving.

I don't even believe in God.

Astaghfirullah.

Steve, it shows here that you're an organ donor.

Yeah, of course. I wanna help people.

Wild, it feels like all your organs are all secondhand.

Actually, his organs are in great shape.

They don't support as much.

The controller doesn't need my organs when I die.

- Controller? - The fuck you talking about?

Bostrom's simulation theory.

This is all one giant computer game.

The way to succeed at this game

is to be as entertaining as possible

because you don't want the controller to delete you.

You must hate the controller that created your character.

- I mean, you have no features. - Less is more.

I'm inherently entertaining.

So I really don't have to do much to please him.

Have you seen how awesome my girlfriend is?

We turn heads.

This simulation is thrilled with us.

- It's you two I'm worried about. - Us?

I don't want you two to get deleted.

Ahmed, you must marry this woman.

This is your chance to finally do something exciting.

Fuck being a doctor.

This is your ticket.

Take it.

Why do you think Mo's cholesterol is all fucked?

I'm telling you, man, the controller

is sending you a warning shot.

Listen, man, time's ticking.

The guy just died, okay? You gotta make a decision.

I have a meal set up with Amu Hakeem.

- Who? - Amu Hakeem, bro.

The guy's amazing. He's a Brooklyn legend.

He has four wives.

I've been consulting him on this.

You've been consulting about me?

No, about me.

All right? The guy's a wizard.

But this fell into your lap.

Take advantage of it.

Amazing simulation.

These are my wives.

This is Nafisa. This is Amira.

This is Aldia and our daughter Nadirah.

And this is Munira and our son Amir.

Hamdullah.

Gorgeous. What an operation.

You know, our faith teaches the most important part

is that every partner must be treated equally.

So everyone gets a picture in the wallet.

You know, I have four wives. Look how big my wallet is.

I feel it digging into me,

into my side every single day

reminding me of the commitments I've made

to honesty and balance.

Which is why I have to ask you, brother...

Why do you want another wife?

Honestly.

I don't know if I want to.

What?

I mean, I will if God wills it.

Ma shall ah. Of course.

Yes. There's always God's will.

But I wanna know, what do you want?

I want whatever God wants.

Yeah, you can't just put it all on God, brother.

What is your gut telling you?

I don't know.

Think about your gut.

Physically, literally, what's it saying?

I'm not sure. It's confusing.

Like, I wanna have a kid,

and whatever Yasmin a feels is right

is what's meant to be.

You want your wife to choose for you?

What is all this indecisiveness?

This guy has no gut.

I keep telling him gut health is super critical.

You know that a poop transplant

can actually help you think clearer?

- I believe it. - Walla hi, I do.

Brother, I'm struggling to understand

how you're married to even one person.

Nafisa!

Salaam. Hakeem.

Sweetie, I've been a rude host.

Would you mind getting these brothers

something to drink, please?

- Of course. - We need to take a walk.

Come with me.

I need you to speak to my wife.

Wasn't that your wife inside?

Nafisa, of course.

But she'll just get bored talking to you.

I'm trying to think which wife will actually help you.

Your other wife lives here?

- All four do. - I bought half the block.

Every house is exactly the same way.

Amira. My first wife.

You should speak to her.

I took this photo in Ghana.

I was there for four weeks just taking photos.

I had set up this makeshift darkroom in the basement

of a restaurant that belonged to a woman I met.

Wow. That's beautiful.

I was only supposed to be there for a week.

But I kept extending,

waiting to see where the trip would take me.

You know? I liked it.

Like, it's... there's room here.

You know, there's room for something different.

I never wanted the traditional thing.

Men are sensitive and need a lot of attention.

This setup, it's a lot less emotional labor.

Emotional labor.

But Hakeem was up-front with me

when we first got married.

He said it was something that he'd be interested in.

You know, he's the kind of guy

that says everything he's thinking.

So did marrying someone else come up when you met your wife?

No, no.

We always said we wanted kids,

but then when we got married, she changed her mind.

And what did you say?

I was disappointed, but I didn't say anything.

You didn't say anything?

No, I just prayed on it.

That's some weak-ass shit.

Uh, what?

- I'm sorry? - Come on, man.

I mean, what's wrong with you?

I...

I don't know why Hakeem asked me to speak with you,

but I'm gonna go.

The New York Knicks.

This is a team that seemingly does not respond to prayer.

I prayed for them.

I've asked big Awliyah to pray for them.

And truthfully, I believe the New York Knicks

are carrying the sins of the entire city of New York.

Ma shall ah. How was tea?

Uh... yeah.

Okay.

- Okay. - I have to use the bathroom.

So I'll make wudu and then we pray.

Yeah, sure.

Mo, we gotta pray. We need to pray.

- Did you make wudu? - No.

I'm gonna do the travelers prayers.

I'm gonna combine them later.

Traveling?

How is this traveling?

You know, we're from Jersey.

We're in New York. I'm a visitor here.

It's 20 minutes.

We crossed state lines, Steve.

What do you know about this?

I don't think the Quran says anything

about crossing state borders.

Well, it's open to interpretation, sister.

All due respect.

Speaking of the Quran,

explain to me again why you can't have another husband?

Things just are as they are.

For every right a man receives,

a woman receives a complementary one.

Even if it doesn't look the same.

You don't always have to understand it.

You just accept it.

You're in a wheelchair, and I don't know why.

It just is.

It doesn't have to make sense.

It's the choice of the controller.

You all ever fuck each other?

Like, at the same time?

Astaghfirullah.

- Hakeem! - Steve, come on.

- Hakeem! - What are you talk...

- Hakeem! - What happened?

Are you okay?

Come get this jinn out of my house.

What'd you say to my wife?

Which one?

I can't handle this.

I'm gonna go make wudu.

Loud kitchen. I'm making a killing,

but there is such a thing as too many cooks in the kitchen.

Let me tell you.

Yeah. I took your advice.

- Oh, you did? - Yeah.

So you're speaking with Yasmin a?

No, um, you know,

uh, the transplant advice.

Uh...

I'm gonna...

put this in my gut,

and then I'll be able to make the right decision.

What is that?

It's, um...

I took Amu Hakeem's poopoo.

His... yeah, I took his poopoo.

It was there.

I didn't think it was gonna be there.

I went in, I looked in the mirror,

and I was about to cry.

I don't know why I was gonna cry.

I was, like, overwhelmed.

And then I turned, and the poopoo was there.

It was just, like, staring at me

like it was almost talking.

It wasn't saying "Take me,"

but it was like, "I want out."

And then I-I got it.

I grabbed it with two hands, and I didn't look.

I-I closed my eyes, and-and, you know, I did it,

and I was very surprised.

I was quite shocked that I was able

to take poopoo out and...

And I'm gonna, you know, put it in my gut.

Have you lost your fucking mind?

- What the fuck? - What?

We've been talking about this.

Maybe it'll help me decide.

You brought it in here?

Into my kitchen? I could lose my restaurant.

He seems like a strong guy,

and I thought maybe if I was like him

on a biological level...

You take his poop, but you can't take his advice?

No way the controller likes this.

- Get the fuck out. - This was your idea, Mo.

Take your shit and get the fuck out.

Get the fuck out.

Get the fuck out.

Now!

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

Fuck.

Astaghfirullah. Astaghfirullah.

Why? Why?

Why did I do this? This is human shit.

I'm a doctor. I'm a doctor.

I shouldn't be doing this.

It's weird. I brought it into the house.

Fuck Joe Rogan! Fuck Joe Rogan!

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

I drove shit across t...

Ahmed.

What's happening?

- I'm losing my shit. - What...

I stole another man's shit.

- What are you talking about? - Why did you break the frame?

I don't know what God wants me to do.

I thought if I could just touch my head

on the carpet that you got me, I can reconnect us, you know?

- Bring us back to what we were. - Ahmed, calm down.

I put my head on our carpet, and I saw it, you know?

I-I don't want another wife.

I want us. I want you.

And I know I can be indecisive, but I want a child with you,

and you haven't given me a real reason

why you don't want one, and I deserve to know.

- Okay, you want a ch... - You want us to have a child?

For what?

I-I saw how we were becoming.

The fighting over every tiny thing.

The tension all the time.

It reminded me of my parents.

I'm not fucking doing that.

The ocean is rising every day.

The climate is turning the Earth

into a fucking ball of fire.

You wanna bring a child into that?

Listen to me.

I'm telling you from my gut.

Our kid... your brain,

my hygiene, making a kid?

She's gonna fix global warming.

I've...

never seen you like this.

I'm telling you from my gut.

Get a condom.

- Still? - Yeah.

Salaam alaikum wa rahmatullah.

I'm here to pay my respects as a fellow Muslim

to your husband that just passed.

How did you get my address?

And who are you?

Look, Ahmed's my friend.

I told him I was gonna send you a card,

but I wanted to come over here and apologize for his behavior.

He couldn't save your husband.

He left you and your beautiful son alone.

I'm not gonna beat around the bush.

I know you're looking for partnership,

and I'm desiring to expand my partnership situation.

So I thought a cup of tea.

This is highly inappropriate.

Wait, wait, Hanan.

I'm a good man.

I have a son already.

I'm getting him to memorize the Quran.

I'm teaching him to become a reciter.

I own seven restaurants, all of them five stars

with the exception of one, which is 4.8 stars,

but it was DoorDash's fault.

I can speak four languages fluently.

I speak eight languages on a restaurant level.

And I fear God.

And I think I love you.

Maybe.

Even though we've never talked.