Original subtitles

God, I'm going to go down on a full shoe set after this.

Yeah,

not bad.

Hola.

Hi. Hello.

Hola. I was just cleaning out my bunion. I think that's actually a callus, right,

girl? She's staring at me.

It's really good to see you, though. You too. Man, I love when you come here. Oh,

me too.

Love seeing you.

Oh, my gosh. Hello.

Miss you. You too, baby. Look, I brought you some hydrangeas from my garden.

Flowers in a vase?

New Jersey hydrangeas. Hello.

Okay, what are you guys up to today? Because I could really use some help

tackling my ingrowns. It's honestly a three-person job.

I would love to.

I would. But we're going actually to the Javis Center to see a big car show.

Here we come.

I'm going to go change.

It's good to chill here.

No peeking, okay?

Johnny,

would you be a pal and towel me up? I'm a little raw.

Oh, watch out. You've got to use the tongue so you don't burn yourself.

My feet are raw, girl.

Yikes.

Thank you.

Okay, so how's it freaking going?

Really good. I actually just redid my kitchen.

But isn't your landlord going to, like, wreck you for that? Goodbye credit karma

or whatever?

I own my apartment, so I think I'll be all right.

That is so insane. I forgot slash didn't really know that was an option. You are

so mature and adult. I love you two together.

Ooh, and I love that outfit.

Look at you.

Gracias. No, it's just an old handkerchief I found lying around. That

old thing.

You know, Jaime, I'm like smelling something funky. I feel like the

apartment smells funkier than usual in here.

Mi amor, I don't mean to be mean, but I think it's your disguise.

Okay. Like I can taste it. I'm sorry. It's okay. And I don't want you guys to

be scared to come back.

My tootsies are going to be fresh to death by the time you get back if you

choose to come back. Okay.

Give me a squeeze. We're going to go.

Have fun at the show. Mwah.

Mwah.

Mwah. Mwah.

Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Four and three and two and one.

Okay, folks, let's talk about this month's aesthetic.

As you know, the theme is birds.

Again, the window has to be awesome. It wants to make the customer feel like

they can just walk in and maybe as they get in here, they might just take

flight. I think we should start with a huge bird on the back. I think that

could be our feature. And we can just pull it all. Oh, totally.

I love that idea.

It's timeless.

And then timely, time's up, right?

Anyway, I happen to have an idea for next month's window display. And I was

like, I should share it. This is like a cool corporate environment where I

should share my ideas and I get them, right?

So I've been really inspired lately by Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue.

It would be like a great way to like really tribute classic New York City. Ma

'am, where can I find that shirt? Okay, you can call me ma'am.

And this guy right here is going to be around the corner at the bottom of the

stairs. But if you hit the vanity made of vintage teacups, you've gone too far.

Okay, so picture this display, right? It's a beautiful cityscape made of

instruments.

I think that it would be a really incredible way to show the melody of the

city. Ma'am, where can I find the smelly sticks?

You can call me Miss, and you can call the smelly sticks.

sage smudging ones, and they're going to be over there in the corner, right next

to the Robin's Nest Caucasian headdresses.

I would be honored to lead this project.

You're not ready yet.

Just doesn't happen overnight.

Plus, you're an amazing sales associate. I can't afford to lose you from the

floor.

Okay. Yeah. Okay? Thank you. I'm going to go sell.

Great sales associate.

Love it. Yes.

Right. As I was saying,

Hey, you. Oh, my God.

Thank God you're here. What is going on in here? Okay.

A long time ago, I promised Jaime I would never enter his room. Okay, wait.

Sorry, the whole time that you've lived here, you've never gone in Jaime's room

before? Correct. He asked me not to, so I wasn't about to be another greedy-ass

white person who thinks they're owed dominion over every single brown

person's territory.

Who do you think I am, some sort of Christina Columbus?

No, no, I don't think that. Okay, but then today, I smelled and smelled so

bad, it was the stench of death.

And I just had to look in his room.

And that's when I just...

What? Dude, what did you discover?

Okay, I need to warn you. It's really, really bad. Like, have you ever seen

American Psycho? Yeah.

Or Sicario?

No, I didn't see that. Or Matt Damon try to talk about sexual assault?

Because this is worse.

Haine is a hoarder.

Alana, I think I found a sword.

Okay, now I know he's crazy. I mean, who isn't finishing everything bagel with

cream cheese?

Okay, Abby, we don't call people crazy because it stigmatizes mental illness.

Yeah, okay. Maybe he meant to finish it, but then it fell behind this tube of

rocks. Oh, my God. But he didn't notice the smell.

Abby, denial ain't just a river in, um... He's in denial.

I could not have done this without you. Thank you so much for leaving work for

this. Yeah, it's not like they even need me there.

I told Lisa about the window display idea, and she was like, you're just not

ready. She cannot talk to you like that. She's not the boss of you. I mean, she

literally is the boss of me. She's my boss.

Wait, it is, like, so cuckoo that I kept all my psych textbooks from college.

Like, what?

Oh, my God, hoarding.

Okay.

A person who suffers from hoarding experiences extreme distress at the

thought of discarding of their valued items.

Adoy! Got it! Make you buy the book, duh! We're like, we know.

All right, I'm going to skip ahead to the treatment section. Okay, let's see

what they have to say, huh?

Treatment. Absolutely never, ever, under any circumstances, move the hoarder's

possessions without them.

Oh. All right, the matches.

Close enough, right?

So good you took this photo, dude. Oh, my God, I needed to. My mother lives for

this shit. Whenever she's on a diet and needs to stop herself from eating, she

just Googles for her photos. Loses her appetite immediately.

Welcome.

Jaime, Johnny, please take a seat.

Okay.

Hola. Hi.

Wait,

I think I'm going to go.

No, you helped me decorate my whole office. You don't want to see the magic

happen in it? Okay, listen, I thought that I could do this, but when my

parents got divorced, I had to go through a lot of therapy, and this is

actually very triggering for me.

I'm not good with therapy.

Okay. If you stay, you can have some of the cheese.

Hey Lana, what the hell is going on?

Okay, so before we begin, I want to assure you, I would never share what

happens in this room with anybody in my personal life. Is that because most of

the people in your personal life are in this room right now?

So true.

See, we are already making some excellent discoveries here. I'm just

going to write that down.

Where'd you get that?

Did you go in my room? I'm sorry, but this is what I wanted to talk to you

about.

I know that you're a hoarder.

What? I'm sorry, okay? It's okay. We love you. We love you. And we just want

to help, okay? I had to go in your room because I smelled what I thought could

only be the stench of death.

But then I later discovered it was an unfinished everything bagel with cream

cheese, which, no judgment, is way worse.

What is an unfinished everything bagel? Right? I am not playing this little

game, okay?

And don't go into my room again. Jaime. Jaime, wait.

Hold on. Hold on a second.

Come here.

It's going well.

You're using the same cheese grater on the cheese that you're using on your

feet? Yeah.

Okay, let's dig in. Welcome back.

Okay, but just so you know, it's not that I'm not feeling mad about you going

into my room. No cool. Very no cool. Totally not cool. I'm glad that you're

honoring your instincts, and good for you for setting boundaries. I just want

you to explore your feelings in a judgment-free zone, okay? This is a safe

space.

Well, not literally safe.

How about we start with looking at the most common causes of hoarding and see

if you connect with any of them. Now, I don't want to put words in your mouth,

but hoarding often develops as a coping mechanism for a feeling of a lack of

control. Does that resonate with you?

Well, obviously, before I became a citizen, you know, I was always so

anxious about my status.

You know, you feel this lack of control, very powerless, you know?

That's when it starts to all pile up. Okay, I'm sorry to interrupt. I'm still

feeling very uncomfortable in general, and I'm also starting to feel ill,

probably because I've been eating cheese that's mixed in with your heel skin. I'm

so sorry that my emotions are making you this uncomfortable.

I love you and support you. This is about Alana's feet.

One moment, please.

Abby, relax. I put the grater in barbicide after I use it on my feet. Do

you think I'm an idiot?

Barbicide?

Okay, so what I'm sensing is...

that the Horton provides a sense of comfort in times of stress. It's gotten

a lot worse lately, to be honest. I don't know why, because I really have

been so happy with you. I know you have, babe.

You know, I often encounter in my work people struggling with the duality of

relationships. You know, maybe there's something about this relationship, even

if it's going dopely, that's causing anxiety.

I'm sorry, but do I have to go to the hospital?

Oh, my God. Okay, you are wasting Jaime's hour, okay? This is so

unprofessional. I'll handle it. Okay.

What if I've ingested...

Mmm. Mmm.

Okay,

dude, just be honest with me. Did I or did I not eat your foot cheese? What

part of I put the cheese grater in barbicide before it touches the cheese

do you not understand? And not for nothing, you're probably lactose

intolerant because you're an Ashkenazi Jew.

Or maybe you didn't know that. Okay? And have you never sucked on a couple toes

before? I've sucked on toes. Really? Yeah. Because you're lucky, girl. A lot

of people pay good money for my foot shavings. They do?

Oof! Look at these two. Am I good or am I good?

All right, that is about all the time we have for this week. Actually, we went a

little bit over, but that's okay.

I want to thank you for making me confirm my wholeness.

Because it made me see that I was just putting it as a barrier for the next

step in our relationship.

That's the best thing a therapist could hear.

Mi amor, I decided to move in with Johnny in his house in New Jersey.

A house?

Oh, my goodness. No, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no.

Where the fuck is the reverse psychology section?

Where is it?

Hi, mate. I don't like to say crazy, but you are fucking nuts, okay?

Moving to Jersey? What are you, Bruce Springsteen? You're like...

I've never done this.

So you don't even know Bruce Springsteen? Why would you move to

Jersey? Baby, listen, you were right. I need to stop self-sabotaging myself.

Now I need to take the next step with my boyfriend.

I'd say one therapy session. Now you're cured.

Okay, great.

Not a real therapy session.

Please, it wasn't. I'm sorry, it's not.

Classic denial. You are men... hole, bro.

Can I talk to you for a second? Let me just talk to you for a second over here.

Okay. If this is about the fucking foot cheese, I swear to God, Abby. No,

listen, dude. I think you need to take some of your own advice.

You just told Jaime that his hoarding problem was due to maybe a lack of

control, right?

Yeah. I feel like that's happening with you right now. I mean, him moving out is

a huge deal and you're trying to control him.

You have to let him live his own life.

I said all that, huh?

Yeah, you did.

Hey, you guys.

Fully sorry.

That was stupid.

It's not about me. I am so sorry. It's all good. You know, this is right for

you guys.

And you know what? I think I've been scared because I have been feeling like

this was coming.

Well, it's scary for me, too. I haven't lived without you in such a long time.

But you know what? It's super easy. Just Montclair. It's like across the pond,

you know?

Wait, where's Montclair?

It's Montclair.

Montclair. So where's Bruce B.C. again?

Yeah, I don't really know his music.

You don't know who the boss is?

No. What does he sound like?

Yeah.

Wow.

Hey, baby.

Great. I now get the vibe. You got it. Yeah.

I get the vibe.

Hey, Tony.

Can I ask you something?

Yeah.

Am I a good therapist?

Well, I'll tell you this.

No matter how wildly unprofessional you were, you made the space for Jaime to

talk about his issues.

That's really all you can do as a therapist, right?

Just make the space.

Yeah. Thank you so much. Oh, yeah. Come here. Let me show you something. God,

Alana, dude, that's it. What?

Make the space.

I need to make the space an anthropology.

No one's going to be like, hey, Abby, you want to do a window display? No, I

got to fucking do it myself.

Yes. Dude, and I can use all this trash to, like, make this.

Oh, is that Abby?

Oh, you caught it? Sorry, did I say trash? I meant precious objects.

I can use all these beautiful precious objects to make the display.

That is it. Yes. This is Kismet. Follow your third eye.

You're clear.

Right, yeah. Thank you for making me stay, dude, really. It was worth it.

Even if I had to eat your foot sheet.

It always does.

You gotta let me see my baby boy.

Of course I'm responsible enough to be a dad.

Christina!

Don't hang up!

No, you're not listening.

You're not listening. Christina!

You're not listening!

You're not listening!

This is incredible!

As per usual, couldn't have done it without you.

Alana, we gotta go.

We gotta go.

Good morning, bitch.

Jesus. Alana. What?

Yeah, I guess I got carried away.

How do I look? And for perfect.

Okay, a lot of the most important part is that I made the base of my art.

That's right. No matter what the outcome, I feel completely at peace.

You mother fuckers. This is insane. You know what? Zoe, you're the fucking

worst. I dare you to find someone who can fold a tunic sweater better than me.

Alana, let's go.

Whatever, dude.

They don't deserve you.

That's corporate fashion. Fat.

Cats don't know real art. Yeah, that's true, but... Get out of here.

Hold up. I'll just take a photo real quick in front of your masterpiece.

Or your portfolio.

Okay. Come on.

Okay.

Here we go.

Oh, my God!

What? That bastard!

Oh, my God! Alana, what?

Okay, I put a rodent and hoarder trash in their window.

I think they actually made the right call.

Damn. First time A and now rap bastard.

Looks like all my roommates are moving out.

Yo, you know what? It's pretty badass to be banned from every anthropology in the

country. Like, not many people can say that.

Yeah, I mean, that is true.

And you know what? Like, make the space is still, like, exactly what I need

right now.

I just need to get a day job that pays the bills. And then I can focus on my

artwork in my life. You know, make the space.

Dude, yes.

I am, like, so inspired by you.

You know, I know I got carried away with this whole therapist thing, but helping

Jaime with his mental health really felt, like, right and good.

I think I might want to, like, pursue it as a career thing.

Like, obviously, in addition to my phone mix hustle.

Dude, you would be incredible at that.

Are you serious?

Yes, and totally and completely, and yes. Oh, my mom is going to flip out.

Okay, I think I might start researching schools to apply to.

Is that crazy?

No, not at all. But listen, you shouldn't use that word.

My therapist says it stigmatizes mental illness.

Wait, you have a therapist?

You.

Oh, my God. We might have to stop our sessions because I can't be in love with

my favorite patient.

Like on the street Secret

garden