Original subtitles

Our countdown continues with the top 10

Our countdown continues with the top 10

Our countdown continues with the top 10 moments in US history. Number 10, the

moments in US history. Number 10, the

moments in US history. Number 10, the moon landing.

moon landing.

moon landing. >> That made the top 10. I mean, sure, the

>> That made the top 10. I mean, sure, the

>> That made the top 10. I mean, sure, the moon, I guess. Personally, I forgot that

moon, I guess. Personally, I forgot that

moon, I guess. Personally, I forgot that even happened.

even happened.

even happened. >> Number nine, victory in World War II.

>> Number nine, victory in World War II.

>> Number nine, victory in World War II. >> Huh, okay. I don't know if that really

>> Huh, okay. I don't know if that really

>> Huh, okay. I don't know if that really made that big of a difference, [music]

made that big of a difference, [music]

made that big of a difference, [music] but yeah,

but yeah,

but yeah, sure.

sure.

sure. >> Personally, I forgot that even happened.

>> Personally, I forgot that even happened.

>> Personally, I forgot that even happened. >> Number eight, that time Lenny Kravitz's

>> Number eight, that time Lenny Kravitz's

>> Number eight, that time Lenny Kravitz's pants ripped open and his dick fell out.

pants ripped open and his dick fell out.

pants ripped open and his dick fell out. >> I remember exactly where I was when

>> I remember exactly where I was when

>> I remember exactly where I was when Lenny Kravitz's penis fell out.

Lenny Kravitz's penis fell out.

Lenny Kravitz's penis fell out. >> I've never felt prouder to be an

>> I've never felt prouder to be an

>> I've never felt prouder to be an American than

American than

American than in that very moment.

in that very moment.

in that very moment. >> I was at the hospital. It was the birth

>> I was at the hospital. It was the birth

>> I was at the hospital. It was the birth of my first child. I told my wife, "Stop

of my first child. I told my wife, "Stop

of my first child. I told my wife, "Stop pushing." So, we could all gather around

pushing." So, we could all gather around

pushing." So, we could all gather around the TV and watch together.

the TV and watch together.

the TV and watch together. >> [laughter]

>> [laughter]

>> [laughter] >> Sorry.

>> Sorry.

>> Sorry. Can you come back to me? I just I get

Can you come back to me? I just I get

Can you come back to me? I just I get really emotional when I think about it.

really emotional when I think about it.

really emotional when I think about it. >> It was a moment that truly defined the

>> It was a moment that truly defined the

>> It was a moment that truly defined the nation. For a few [music] fleeting

nation. For a few [music] fleeting

nation. For a few [music] fleeting seconds, Lenny Kravitz's penis finally

seconds, Lenny Kravitz's penis finally

seconds, Lenny Kravitz's penis finally fulfilled America's [music] promise as

fulfilled America's [music] promise as

fulfilled America's [music] promise as that shining city on a hill.

that shining city on a hill.

that shining city on a hill. >> We were so moved that we actually named

>> We were so moved that we actually named

>> We were so moved that we actually named our baby Lenny Kravitz's penis.

our baby Lenny Kravitz's penis.

our baby Lenny Kravitz's penis. I can't believe she's 10 now.

>> [music]

>> [music]

>> [music] >> Number seven, the Declaration of

>> Number seven, the Declaration of

>> Number seven, the Declaration of Independence.

Independence.

Independence. >> What? No, no, no, we're not done talking

>> What? No, no, no, we're not done talking

>> What? No, no, no, we're not done talking about Lenny Kravitz's penis.

about Lenny Kravitz's penis.

about Lenny Kravitz's penis. >> Oh, say can you see

>> Oh, say can you see

>> Oh, say can you see Lenny Kravitz's

Lenny Kravitz's

Lenny Kravitz's long

long

long >> I got it as a back tattoo. Check [music]

>> I got it as a back tattoo. Check [music]

>> I got it as a back tattoo. Check [music] it out.

it out.

it out. Can you see it? It's right there.

Can you see it? It's right there.

Can you see it? It's right there. That's his penis.

That's his penis.

That's his penis. >> His dick's swinging

>> His dick's swinging

>> His dick's swinging >> [screaming]

>> [screaming]

>> [screaming] >> in air.

>> in air.

>> in air. >> It's all I think about whenever I see

>> It's all I think about whenever I see

>> It's all I think about whenever I see Lenny Kravitz, or when I see Zoe

Lenny Kravitz, or when I see Zoe

Lenny Kravitz, or when I see Zoe Kravitz. Anytime I close my eyes,

Kravitz. Anytime I close my eyes,

Kravitz. Anytime I close my eyes, really.

really.

really. >> Are you talking about the time that

>> Are you talking about the time that

>> Are you talking about the time that Lenny Kravitz's pants split open and his

Lenny Kravitz's pants split open and his

Lenny Kravitz's pants split open and his penis [music] flopped out?

penis [music] flopped out?

penis [music] flopped out? >> it, brother.

>> it, brother.

>> it, brother. >> I'm supposed to be doing the Gettysburg

>> I'm supposed to be doing the Gettysburg

>> I'm supposed to be doing the Gettysburg Address, but I'd rather get in on this.

Address, but I'd rather get in on this.

Address, but I'd rather get in on this. >> But I don't understand why we don't add

>> But I don't understand why we don't add

>> But I don't understand why we don't add Lenny Kravitz's penis to Mount Rushmore.

Lenny Kravitz's penis to Mount Rushmore.

Lenny Kravitz's penis to Mount Rushmore. Like, do we care about honoring heroes

Like, do we care about honoring heroes

Like, do we care about honoring heroes in this country or not?

in this country or not?

in this country or not? >> Yeah, like my family and I, we don't

>> Yeah, like my family and I, we don't

>> Yeah, like my family and I, we don't even watch fireworks [music] on the 4th

even watch fireworks [music] on the 4th

even watch fireworks [music] on the 4th of July anymore. We just watch Lenny

of July anymore. We just watch Lenny

of July anymore. We just watch Lenny Kravitz's penis explode out of his

Kravitz's penis explode out of his

Kravitz's penis explode out of his pants.

pants.

pants. >> Number seven, the Declaration of

>> Number seven, the Declaration of

>> Number seven, the Declaration of >> Will you stop interrupting us? No one

>> Will you stop interrupting us? No one

>> Will you stop interrupting us? No one gives a [\h__\h] about that.

gives a [\h__\h] about that.

gives a [\h__\h] about that. >> We've [laughter] spent

>> We've [laughter] spent

>> We've [laughter] spent way too much time on Lenny Kravitz's

way too much time on Lenny Kravitz's

way too much time on Lenny Kravitz's penis. Can we move on?

penis. Can we move on?

penis. Can we move on? >> Oh, oh, oh, you want us to move on?

>> Oh, oh, oh, you want us to move on?

>> Oh, oh, oh, you want us to move on? >> Yeah, that'd be great.

>> Yeah, that'd be great.

>> Yeah, that'd be great. >> All right. Uh, why don't we move on to

>> All right. Uh, why don't we move on to

>> All right. Uh, why don't we move on to this moment in American history?

this moment in American history?

this moment in American history? >> What is that?

>> What is that?

>> What is that? >> Just some elevator footage of you

>> Just some elevator footage of you

>> Just some elevator footage of you screwing around behind your wife's back.

screwing around behind your wife's back.

screwing around behind your wife's back. >> What the hell? Where did you get that?

>> What the hell? Where did you get that?

>> What the hell? Where did you get that? >> You didn't actually think we were going

>> You didn't actually think we were going

>> You didn't actually think we were going to just leave the Kravitz part of the

to just leave the Kravitz part of the

to just leave the Kravitz part of the countdown to chance, did you?

countdown to chance, did you?

countdown to chance, did you? >> Oh my god. You You are all psychos. You

>> Oh my god. You You are all psychos. You

>> Oh my god. You You are all psychos. You have lost your goddamn minds.

have lost your goddamn minds.

have lost your goddamn minds. >> The Lenny Kravitz penis segment [music]

>> The Lenny Kravitz penis segment [music]

>> The Lenny Kravitz penis segment [music] can be as long as we want to.

can be as long as we want to.

can be as long as we want to. >> Got it?

>> Got it?

>> Got it? >> Okay, fine.

>> Okay, fine.

>> Okay, fine. >> And we all want custom trucker hats with

>> And we all want custom trucker hats with

>> And we all want custom trucker hats with the image of the [music] Kravitz pants

the image of the [music] Kravitz pants

the image of the [music] Kravitz pants split on them.

split on them.

split on them. >> Custom trucker hats?

>> Custom trucker hats?

>> Custom trucker hats? >> Guys, that's expensive.

>> Guys, that's expensive.

>> Guys, that's expensive. >> Not as expensive as getting divorced.

>> Thank you, Lenny Kravitz's penis.

>> Thank you, Lenny Kravitz's penis.

>> Thank you, Lenny Kravitz's penis. >> Thank you

>> Thank you

>> Thank you for your service to our country.

for your service to our country.

for your service to our country. >> Thank you, Lenny Kravitz's penis.

>> Thank you, Lenny Kravitz's penis.

>> Thank you, Lenny Kravitz's penis. The penis, not [music] my daughter.

The penis, not [music] my daughter.

The penis, not [music] my daughter. >> Thank you for everything.

>> Number seven, the Declaration of

>> Number seven, the Declaration of

>> Number seven, the Declaration of Independence.

Independence.

Independence. >> Okay, fine. [music] The Declaration of

>> Okay, fine. [music] The Declaration of

>> Okay, fine. [music] The Declaration of Independence. Well, it kind of surprised

Independence. Well, it kind of surprised

Independence. Well, it kind of surprised everyone. It was bigger and longer than

everyone. It was bigger and longer than

everyone. It was bigger and longer than people expected.

I tricked you. I'm still talking about

I tricked you. I'm still talking about

I tricked you. I'm still talking about Lenny Kravitz's penis.