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(Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Coffee?

Boy, not as far as I can tell.

Hey, I make it, but you pay for

it.

Who's the idiot?

Yeah, that'd definitely be me.

John, can I ask you a question?

My grandmother's doctor passed away last month.

Yeah, Jake, there's really very little I can

do for him now.

Just listen, okay?

I know we'll never find anybody as good

as Dr. Phillips, but I was wondering if

you could treat him.

Oh, you know, new patients always take a

lot of time.

There's all that paperwork and...

She hasn't, sir.

This afternoon looks good.

And, John, well, how can I put this?

My grandmother's 82.

She's very fragile, you know.

Well, I guess what I'm saying is, could

you be a little less, like, you?

Is this the first time you've ever asked

anyone for a favor?

Because you really suck at it, you know?

Howdy, hey.

Howdy, ho.

What are you doing here?

Aren't you supposed to be in my apartment?

I'm clogging my sink.

No time for that now.

Bob has a blast from the past.

The Paul Revere High School Yearbook, Class of

83.

Our yearbook!

Oh, my God, I haven't seen that in,

like, forever.

Where am I?

You know, Reg, I thought you might want

to sign it.

Back in high school, she didn't get a

chance.

You know, we ran in different circles.

Yeah, mine had other people in it.

How about it, Reg?

Will you sign?

All right, fine.

There.

Hey, hey, not just your name.

Something meaningful, Reg, like, Bob, you magnificent stud.

You're an animal.

You ruled me for all other men.

Or you could just come up with something

on your own.

Why did I do that?

Hey, there I am.

Where?

See that thing those guys are shoving in

their locker?

That's me.

You can see my ear in that guy's

armpit.

Oh, and there I am, laughing and pointing.

Well, I tell you, if high school students

looked that bad today, there wouldn't be such

a pregnancy problem.

Maybe we should all bring in our yearbooks.

Oh, that's right, Becker, I forgot.

Yours was written in hieroglyphics.

Yeah, what was driver's ed like before they

invented the wheel?

History must have been a lot easier before

there was any.

You guys go on laughing, but you just

asked me for a favor.

And you depend on my business.

And you, you shouldn't laugh at anyone.

When I grow up, my house is going

to be in a tree.

It's going to have its own roller coaster

and have a McDonald's instead of a kitchen.

I'm sorry, Jared, but that's impossible.

Why?

Because that's going to be my house.

Linda, can I see you for a minute?

I'll be right back.

I'll be waiting.

You better be.

Oh, I will be.

Oh, I know you will, because...

Linda!

I'm coming.

Who is that?

Oh, that's Jared.

We met last week at Chuck E.

Cheese.

Chuck E.

Cheese?

It was my birthday, Margaret.

All right, it wasn't, but if you tell

them it is, they sing you a song.

That boy should be in school.

His school's closed today.

They found asbestos in the cafeteria.

Kids in the Bronx are so lucky.

That doesn't change the fact that you've got

work to do.

Ugh, why don't you just record that instead

of saying it all the time?

And not to mention, I think that you

are leading that boy on.

I'm not leading him on.

It's obvious that he thinks that he's your

boyfriend.

He does not.

Although we do have a lot in common.

He likes NSYNC, I like NSYNC.

He likes robots, I like robots.

He's 10.

I just can't win with you.

I mean, you had a problem with Gil

because he was in jail.

You had a problem with that guy who

lived in the subway because, well, God knows

why.

And now you don't like Jared.

He's 10.

You just don't want me to be happy,

do you?

He's 10.

You met Lewis when he was 6.

We were both 6.

Well, that's just weird.

Oh, hi, Jake.

Hey, Margie.

Hi, you must be Jake's grandmother.

We've been expecting you.

Yes, Ruth Maloneck.

Glad to meet you.

Dr. Beck is almost ready.

Why don't I just take you back and

we'll get your blood work and your EKG

out of the way.

You can let go now.

I'll see you later.

Okay.

See you for dinner.

Boy, your girlfriend's old.

She's my grandmother.

Now, that's really weird.

Mrs. Maloneck, John Beck.

Very nice to meet you.

Jake and I have been friends a long

time.

He's a great guy.

Oh, he's a good boy.

But he is a little clumsy, don't you

think?

Well, he is blind.

Well, that's no excuse.

Look at Ray Charles.

Okay.

Easy there.

Don't get grabby.

Oh, no.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to startle you.

I just want to check your lymph nodes.

Look, I can save you some time.

My problem isn't my lymph nodes.

It's my heart.

Your heart?

Your EKG's normal.

I have a heart murmur.

Oh, really?

Do you mind if I listen?

Okay, but watch yourself.

Damn heart murmur.

Been the curse of my life.

But I get around pretty good, considering.

You know something?

Your heart sounds fine.

I don't hear a murmur.

Well, it's hard to hear.

That's why they call it a murmur.

Dr. Phillips told me I had it years

ago.

You know something?

I think you may have been misdiagnosed.

Are you calling Dr. Phillips a liar?

No, of course not.

I'm just saying the mistakes happen.

Am I missing something here?

You know, not having a heart murmur is

a good thing.

Why don't you just give me my shot

and I'll be on my way?

Dr. Phillips gave you a shot for this?

B12 shots every month to regulate my heart.

First of all, a B12 shot wouldn't do

anything for a heart condition, even if it

did, which it doesn't.

You don't have one.

Well, if I don't, why do I get

tired when I walk up the stairs?

Because you're 82 years old.

I'm beginning to believe you don't know what

the hell you're doing.

Now, are you going to treat my heart

condition or not?

You don't have a heart condition.

Yes, I do.

I'm sorry, but you don't.

I do.

You don't.

I do.

You don't.

Don't you back-talk me.

Hey, Becker.

Yeah, where's Jake?

He went to the bank.

What?

Guess what?

His grandmother hit me.

What did you do?

Nothing.

She just hit me.

My own mother didn't hit me.

Well, that explains a lot.

What, you're still looking at that stupid yearbook?

Yeah, you know, I forgot how popular I

was.

Look, homecoming queen, captain of the soccer team,

head of the French club.

Oh, and look, I was voted most likely

to succeed.

Yeah, those yearbook editors were real prophets, weren't

they?

So, Reg, did you sign my yearbook yet?

I'm busy, Bob.

I'll get to it.

What's the big deal?

Just sign right there on my picture.

What picture?

Where are you?

Right there.

That's my arm sticking out of the garbage

can.

In fact, if memory serves, you took the

picture.

That's right.

I was in the photography club, too.

John?

Yeah, right here.

What did you say to my nana?

She hit me.

You don't know when to quit, do you?

Maybe you didn't hear what I said.

She hit me.

Big deal.

She hits everyone.

I mean, she said you were rude, you

wouldn't give her a shot, and that you

were grouchy?

You want to hear my version?

She hit me!

Come on, she's got to be 80.

When she swings, you've got, like, half an

hour to get out of her way.

You know, I can't believe you treat my

grandmother this way.

You know, for your information, I was very

nice to her.

You know, I wanted to scream at her,

I should have screamed at her, but I

didn't.

Then why'd you tell her she didn't have

a heart murmur?

Oh, I don't know, maybe because she doesn't

have a heart murmur.

You know, Bob has a heart murmur.

Good.

Listen, you have to tell her you were

wrong.

Yeah, not a chance, Jake.

Listen, John, she's my nana, and she's mad.

She's not just mad at you, she's mad

at me for sending her to you.

Not to me, like someone's granny whipped.

Look, John, I don't know whether or not

she has a heart murmur, but she seems

to think that she does, alright?

And she's proud of the fact that she

hasn't let it slow her down.

Well, why stop with a heart murmur?

Why doesn't she not have a stroke?

She could be doing even better.

I'm not kidding, you have to apologize.

You know, Jake, your grandmother's in great shape.

If it's true, the good die young.

She's going to live to be a thousand

years old.

But she will never, ever live long enough

to hear me say, I'm sorry.

That is so stupid.

I can't believe how stubborn he's been.

Huh?

Oh, no, I'm talking about this picture.

Did your school have one of those stupid

losers in a mascot costume with like a

big furry head, annoying everyone at the football

games?

It's called school spirit.

Linda, your lunch is one hour, not an

hour and fifteen minutes, not an hour and

a half, certainly not two hours.

You know, we've got work to do around

here.

Yuck, you were sure right about her.

Sorry, Margaret, we went to the zoo.

So, I'll be back to pick you up

at four?

Five.

Four thirty.

See ya.

Hey, wait, you forgot your elephant.

No, I got that for you.

Oh, wow, thank you, I love it.

See you later.

Alright, this has gone far enough.

Now he's buying you presents.

Oh, come on, it's just a stuffed animal.

Linda, he thinks that you're his girlfriend.

If you don't end it, you're gonna break

his little heart.

Even if I wanted to end it, which

I don't, you know how bad I am

at breaking up with people.

Do you remember what happened with Gil?

He started crying, then I started crying, we

ended up staying together another three months.

I mean, if that cashier at the mini

mart hadn't been able to pick him out

of a lineup, we'd be married by now.

Reg, are you okay?

Actually, I'm a little depressed.

I've been thinking about what Becker said.

And you're only a little depressed?

What did he say this time?

Just that what a joke it was my

being voted most likely to succeed.

He's right.

I mean, what if my friends could see

me now?

No college diploma, barely a dime in the

bank, no husband, no kids.

I can't even hold on to a boyfriend.

Somebody wanna stop me?

Why?

You're not done.

Hey, stop asking for money, you lazy jerk.

You know, get off your ass, hit the

pavement and get a job.

As for this, you threw it at me,

I'm keeping it.

Uh, some guy's gonna come in for this.

You'll know him when you see him.

Coffee to go, please.

You know, John, my Nana was so upset

she said she couldn't sleep last night.

Yeah, well, maybe she was kept up by

the beat of her very strong and healthy

heart.

You know, one day you'll recognize there are

more important things than having to be right.

Oh, please, I don't have to be right.

Oh, John, you really need to apologize to

Jake's Nana.

Look, considering I went to medical school, I

think I know a little bit more than

Nana when it comes to diagnosing patients.

All right, we'll all stipulate that you know

more about medicine than an 82-year-old

woman who never finished high school.

Happy?

Yes.

You know, John, it's not just between you

and my Nana, all right?

It's between you and me.

Oh, grow up, will you, Jake?

No, I'm serious, John.

I'll think about it.

Linda, Bob.

Brad, two Cokes, please.

Should've been voted most likely to get Cokes.

Jared, I really like you.

Cool.

Hey, look.

Ahem, ahem, ahem.

Um, what I'm trying to say is I

really think you're great.

Thanks, you too.

Oh, please don't make this any harder than

it already is.

Do you have onion rings?

No, I don't have any rings.

Thanks for bringing it up.

Jared, we can't see each other anymore.

Why?

I thought we were having fun.

We were.

I mean, we are.

But I guess that I've given you the

wrong impression.

We can't do things together anymore.

So what do you mean?

We can't even go to the zoo?

Yeah, we could do that.

What about the movies?

Of course.

Then what's gonna be different?

I don't know.

Then what the heck are we talking about?

I don't know.

It's all her fault.

Why don't you like me?

No, no, no, that's not it.

It's just that I thought, you know, that

you thought that she was your girlfriend.

Oh, gross.

She's like a hundred years old.

Let's go play video games.

Okay.

When I was in high school, I could

have had a guy like that.

Oh.

You know, this doesn't exactly look like a

steady heartbeat to me.

Yeah, well, first of all, Mrs. Malinek, that's

a brain scan.

Secondly, that's not even your file.

And third, you're in my chair.

Sorry, it's hard for me to get up,

you know, because of my heart.

Right, right.

Now, you called me all the way down

here.

I assume you have something you want to

say.

Yes, well, uh, maybe the other day I

was a little hasty.

You weren't hasty.

You were wrong.

Let's not get into right and wrong.

You know, Jake's a very good friend of

mine, and because you're his grandmother, I guess

that I was...

Well, I mean, uh...

Doctor, you don't have much of a vocabulary,

do you?

You know, I got a couple of choice

words running through my head right now.

I'm waiting.

The other day I might have been a

little hasty, and I guess that I...

I was...

Now, damn it, I was right.

I was 100% right.

You do not have a heart, Murmur.

You know, the only thing you have is

a total lack of respect for anybody else.

I can't even believe that you and Jake

are related.

I mean, he is such a nice guy.

He's a really good person, and you, you're...

Thank you.

No, I wasn't complimenting you.

Yes, you were.

If Jake is a good person, I'd get

some of the credit.

After all, I had a big hand in

his upbringing.

Hell, yeah, I know all about your big

hand.

I believe you were in the middle of

an apology.

Listen, I...

I cannot in good conscience tell you that

you have something that you don't have.

I'm sure I have a heart, Murmur.

It's not like it just went away.

Well, what if it did?

What?

Maybe.

You know, your heart, Murmur, got better, which

is why I didn't hear it.

Is that possible?

For Jake's sake, let's say it is.

Okay.

I can live with that.

But what about my B-12 shots?

Well, if your heart, Murmur, got better, you

don't really need those shots, do you?

Because they worked.

Right?

Yeah.

I guess I can live with that.

Just, I'll be going.

And I'll see you next month.

That's when I get my liver scan.

Liver scan?

That doesn't say anything about a liver scan.

See you next month.

Jake?

Hey, John.

I talked to Nana.

Thanks for apologizing to her.

No problem.

I mean, you didn't have to start crying

and beg her forgiveness.

She said that I...

Oh, yeah.

Glad to help.

Where's Reg?

I'm starved.

She closed up early.

She's been in the back for over an

hour.

She's still depressed about this whole high school

thing.

Oh, Frank.

For God's sake.

Reg!

I'm closed, Becker.

Go away.

Oh, come on.

You can't close early.

How am I supposed to...

Becker, get out!

Oh, my God.

What?

Okay.

Pathetic just took a turn towards creepy.

What's going on?

Did I miss something good again?

Be glad you're blind.

This is my homecoming dress.

Oh, that is pathetic.

You know, make fun all you want, but

it still fits and it looks great.

You know, everybody else in the class of

83 might be married.

Michelle Baer is a surgeon.

Ellen Madison is a hot shot lawyer.

But I am and always will be homecoming

queen.

You do realize that's not a profession?

Mama!

Am I dreaming?

I gotta pinch myself.

No, you do it.

I'm going to change.

Wait, did you sign my yearbook yet?

Oh, for God's sake.

All right, I'm doing it.

Wait, wait.

After all these years of getting cut out

of the picture, it's not gonna happen again.

Bob finally has a chance to have his

picture taken with the homecoming queen.

Hey, are you happy?

Have a great summer.

It's beautiful.

Quick, Becker, take our picture.

Oh.

Oh.