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1
00:00:01,840 --> 00:00:02,533
Joey, get out here.
2
00:00:03,838 --> 00:00:04,857
Beautiful women have been
coming from that apartment
3
00:00:04,939 --> 00:00:05,836
for, like, an hour.
4
00:00:05,917 --> 00:00:06,855
An hour?
5
00:00:06,896 --> 00:00:08,364
Why didn't you get me?
6
00:00:08,405 --> 00:00:09,505
I was stuck
in the hot tub!
7
00:00:09,587 --> 00:00:11,707
I didn't want them
to see my legs!
8
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:19,074
Everyone is intimidated by a shark. Become
a Card Shark AMERICASCARDROOM.COM
9
00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:21,534
Well, hello there,
gorgeous.
10
00:00:21,615 --> 00:00:23,532
I don't have
chicken legs!
11
00:00:30,259 --> 00:00:32,012
This is like a dream.
12
00:00:32,053 --> 00:00:33,317
Pinch me.
13
00:00:34,744 --> 00:00:36,008
On the arm!
14
00:00:36,090 --> 00:00:38,129
Who goes for the ass?
15
00:00:38,210 --> 00:00:40,126
I gotta see what's
going on in there.
16
00:00:49,015 --> 00:00:50,034
Hi, there.
17
00:00:50,075 --> 00:00:51,461
Hi. Can I help you?
18
00:00:51,543 --> 00:00:52,562
Yeah.
19
00:00:52,644 --> 00:00:53,989
I live across the way
20
00:00:54,071 --> 00:00:57,618
and I would like to join
whatever club is meeting here.
21
00:00:57,700 --> 00:00:58,801
There's no club.
22
00:00:58,841 --> 00:00:59,657
Those are my clients.
23
00:00:59,698 --> 00:01:00,758
I'm a photographer.
24
00:01:00,799 --> 00:01:03,734
Wow.
I love erotic photography.
25
00:01:03,816 --> 00:01:05,773
I didn't say erotic.
26
00:01:05,814 --> 00:01:08,790
I definitely heard
someone say it.
27
00:01:08,872 --> 00:01:09,810
Uh, I'm Joey.
28
00:01:09,891 --> 00:01:10,829
I'm Sara.
29
00:01:10,870 --> 00:01:11,726
I'm Michael...
Leave.
30
00:01:11,808 --> 00:01:14,213
Okay.
31
00:01:14,254 --> 00:01:16,537
It's amazing to me
that you're a photographer.
32
00:01:16,619 --> 00:01:17,964
I mean, you are so beautiful,
33
00:01:18,005 --> 00:01:19,840
you should be
in front of the camera.
34
00:01:19,921 --> 00:01:23,510
Wow. You really came out
swinging, huh?
35
00:01:23,591 --> 00:01:25,304
Okay, okay, let me try
a different approach.
36
00:01:25,385 --> 00:01:27,138
Uh, I saw a flower
this morning
37
00:01:27,220 --> 00:01:28,321
and I thought it was
38
00:01:28,362 --> 00:01:30,604
the most beautiful thing
I'd ever seen
39
00:01:30,645 --> 00:01:33,418
until I gazed upon you.
40
00:01:33,458 --> 00:01:36,312
Mmm...
41
00:01:36,353 --> 00:01:37,943
Listen, I really
appreciate the effort,
42
00:01:37,984 --> 00:01:39,411
but you don't have
to work so hard.
43
00:01:39,493 --> 00:01:42,306
If you want
to ask me out,
just ask me out.
44
00:01:42,347 --> 00:01:44,386
What? Just ask you?
45
00:01:44,426 --> 00:01:45,486
Yeah.
46
00:01:45,568 --> 00:01:46,710
Watch this...
47
00:01:46,750 --> 00:01:47,811
Do you want to
go out Saturday?
48
00:01:47,851 --> 00:01:48,626
Yeah.
49
00:01:48,667 --> 00:01:49,564
Great, we have a date.
50
00:01:49,645 --> 00:01:50,706
Wait, wait, wait.
51
00:01:50,787 --> 00:01:53,030
I didn't even compliment
your eyes.
52
00:01:53,111 --> 00:01:55,191
I know... my father
must have been a thief
53
00:01:55,272 --> 00:01:57,189
because he stole
two stars from the sky
54
00:01:57,270 --> 00:01:58,575
and put them in my eyes.
55
00:01:58,616 --> 00:01:59,961
I did not know that one.
56
00:02:00,002 --> 00:02:02,000
That's good.
57
00:02:02,081 --> 00:02:03,427
Pick me up at 8:00.
58
00:02:06,566 --> 00:02:07,871
Huh.
59
00:02:09,991 --> 00:02:11,989
Hey, there.
60
00:02:12,030 --> 00:02:13,661
I saw a flower this morning.
61
00:02:13,743 --> 00:02:17,249
I thought it was
the most beautiful
thing I'd ever seen
62
00:02:17,331 --> 00:02:18,880
until I gazed upon you.
63
00:02:18,962 --> 00:02:20,593
Really? Thank you.
64
00:02:20,633 --> 00:02:21,653
Okay, so I'm not crazy.
65
00:02:23,773 --> 00:02:28,258
Captioning sponsored by
NBC, WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
66
00:02:28,299 --> 00:02:33,110
and TOYOTA.
Choose any direction,
as long as it's moving forward.
67
00:02:33,151 --> 00:02:35,556
* All right, y'all,
all right, y'all *
68
00:02:35,597 --> 00:02:37,677
* You wanna be all right,
you gotta walk tall, come on! *
69
00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:40,123
* Everything's
gonna be all right now *
70
00:02:40,205 --> 00:02:42,692
* Everything's gonna be
all right *
71
00:02:42,773 --> 00:02:44,853
* All right, y'all,
all right, y'all *
72
00:02:44,934 --> 00:02:47,381
* You wanna be all right,
you gotta walk tall *
73
00:02:47,422 --> 00:02:49,868
*ll right, y'all,
all right, y'all *
74
00:02:49,950 --> 00:02:52,641
* You wanna be all right,
you gotta walk tall, come on! *
75
00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:56,473
Hey, guys!
76
00:02:56,514 --> 00:02:59,246
Whoa. Sexy
new underwear there, huh?
77
00:02:59,287 --> 00:03:00,836
My God!
78
00:03:00,877 --> 00:03:02,100
You can tell?
79
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:03,609
When I was a kid,
I wished for a superpower.
80
00:03:03,649 --> 00:03:05,199
That's what I got.
81
00:03:06,300 --> 00:03:08,298
So what's the special occasion?
82
00:03:08,338 --> 00:03:10,133
Well, my husband's going
to be home tomorrow,
83
00:03:10,173 --> 00:03:12,171
so Gina took me to get some
sexy undergarments.
Ooh.
84
00:03:12,253 --> 00:03:13,721
And it's a good thing I did,
85
00:03:13,802 --> 00:03:14,985
'cause she was wearing
86
00:03:15,066 --> 00:03:17,186
( whispering ):
cotton granny pants.
87
00:03:17,268 --> 00:03:19,266
Well, it's gonna be really great
88
00:03:19,347 --> 00:03:20,326
to see him.
89
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:21,875
He's been gone
for, like, two months.
90
00:03:21,957 --> 00:03:23,751
That's a long time
to be away from your man.
91
00:03:23,792 --> 00:03:25,586
You guys ever try phone sex?
92
00:03:25,667 --> 00:03:27,339
Yeah. I'm not very good at that.
93
00:03:27,380 --> 00:03:31,783
I tend to laugh too much
and overdescribe the room.
94
00:03:31,865 --> 00:03:33,822
Hey, you rented the apartment
to that new girl?
95
00:03:33,904 --> 00:03:35,249
Nice job.
96
00:03:35,290 --> 00:03:36,717
Thanks for getting me
a hot one.
97
00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:38,674
I thought you two
might have sparks.
98
00:03:38,756 --> 00:03:40,957
I miss Melrose Place.
99
00:03:41,039 --> 00:03:43,363
Well, I got a date with her
Saturday night.
100
00:03:43,404 --> 00:03:44,545
She lives right across
the courtyard.
101
00:03:44,586 --> 00:03:45,483
What if it doesn't work out?
102
00:03:45,565 --> 00:03:47,318
That could be so awkward.
103
00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:49,071
Please, there
is no awkward situation
104
00:03:49,153 --> 00:03:51,477
I can't smooth over or run from.
105
00:03:51,518 --> 00:03:53,271
Okay?
106
00:03:53,312 --> 00:03:54,657
But, I gotta say,
this girl's a tough one.
107
00:03:54,739 --> 00:03:55,921
None of my normal lines
work on her.
108
00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:58,327
I'm gonna have
to bring my "A" game.
109
00:03:59,632 --> 00:04:01,385
And, uh, what
is your "A" game?
110
00:04:01,466 --> 00:04:02,975
Well, I take her
to this restaurant
111
00:04:03,016 --> 00:04:04,484
where the maitre'd
knows my name
112
00:04:04,524 --> 00:04:05,870
and makes a big fuss
over me.
113
00:04:05,952 --> 00:04:07,949
Then he seats us at a table
where she can't miss
114
00:04:08,031 --> 00:04:09,662
my head shot
hanging on the wall.
115
00:04:09,703 --> 00:04:11,538
"Oh, how embarrassing."
116
00:04:13,005 --> 00:04:14,596
Then, at some point
during the evening,
117
00:04:14,677 --> 00:04:16,023
I'll have one
of my "famous friends"
118
00:04:16,104 --> 00:04:17,857
send over a bottle of wine...
maybe Bobby Duvall...
119
00:04:17,939 --> 00:04:18,836
So?
120
00:04:18,918 --> 00:04:20,018
Or Celine Dion.
121
00:04:20,059 --> 00:04:21,731
Okay, I could see that working.
122
00:04:27,113 --> 00:04:28,866
Excited about
your date tonight?
Oh, yeah.
123
00:04:28,948 --> 00:04:30,293
I called the restaurant
and set everything up.
124
00:04:30,375 --> 00:04:31,720
Oh, who are they
gonna say sent the wine?
125
00:04:31,761 --> 00:04:34,371
Well, I went with Alan Thicke
and Lou Diamond Phillips.
126
00:04:34,412 --> 00:04:37,429
Yeah... I like the idea
that they're friends.
127
00:04:38,734 --> 00:04:40,079
Hey, Joey, how you doing?
128
00:04:40,161 --> 00:04:41,425
Hey, Eric, welcome back.
129
00:04:41,506 --> 00:04:42,362
Thanks. Hey, honey.
130
00:04:42,444 --> 00:04:44,116
Hey.
131
00:04:45,339 --> 00:04:46,521
So when was
the big reunion?
132
00:04:46,603 --> 00:04:48,356
That was it. He just got home.
133
00:04:50,109 --> 00:04:52,067
Really? After two months?
134
00:04:52,148 --> 00:04:53,575
What are you doing
out here talking to me?
135
00:04:53,657 --> 00:04:54,961
Get in there
and make up for lost time.
136
00:04:55,043 --> 00:04:56,796
Joey, it's the middle
of the day.
137
00:04:56,878 --> 00:04:57,979
We couldn't do that.
138
00:04:58,060 --> 00:04:58,998
Could we?
139
00:04:59,039 --> 00:05:00,996
I guess we could.
140
00:05:01,077 --> 00:05:02,464
I think I'm going to!
141
00:05:02,545 --> 00:05:03,605
Attagirl!
142
00:05:03,687 --> 00:05:05,033
Don't let that new thong
go to waste!
143
00:05:05,073 --> 00:05:06,663
Amazing!
144
00:05:06,745 --> 00:05:08,743
Through corduroy?
145
00:05:11,026 --> 00:05:11,964
( door shuts )
146
00:05:16,041 --> 00:05:17,672
You are going to
love this place.
147
00:05:17,754 --> 00:05:18,773
The food is great.
148
00:05:18,814 --> 00:05:20,893
The problem is,
they tend to make a fuss
149
00:05:20,934 --> 00:05:21,954
when actors come in.
150
00:05:22,035 --> 00:05:25,012
Oh, I'm not a big fan
of actors.
151
00:05:25,093 --> 00:05:26,479
You don't like actors?
152
00:05:26,561 --> 00:05:27,866
No. They're
so self-absorbed
153
00:05:27,907 --> 00:05:29,170
and need so much attention.
154
00:05:29,211 --> 00:05:33,329
But they're
America's royalty.
155
00:05:33,411 --> 00:05:35,531
MAITRE'D:
Mr. Tribbiani!
Welcome.
156
00:05:35,572 --> 00:05:37,978
That was a very
good show last night.
157
00:05:38,059 --> 00:05:40,873
Yes, Tony, I also enjoyed
The Apprentice.
158
00:05:42,014 --> 00:05:43,604
Right this way, please.
159
00:05:43,645 --> 00:05:46,662
I saved a very special table
for you.
160
00:05:46,744 --> 00:05:47,886
Mm...
161
00:05:47,967 --> 00:05:49,068
Thank you.
162
00:05:50,291 --> 00:05:51,351
Thanks.
163
00:05:56,203 --> 00:05:59,710
So, do you, uh,
like sports or, uh...?
164
00:05:59,791 --> 00:06:01,912
Wh-What is that? Is that you?
165
00:06:01,993 --> 00:06:03,339
Is that your head shot?
166
00:06:03,420 --> 00:06:05,214
No, that's not
what this wall means.
167
00:06:05,255 --> 00:06:08,313
I ate the 96-ounce steak.
168
00:06:10,311 --> 00:06:12,961
As did Bernadette Peters.
169
00:06:15,408 --> 00:06:18,670
Joey, what's going on here?
170
00:06:18,710 --> 00:06:20,504
I wanted
to impress you.
171
00:06:20,586 --> 00:06:22,298
All right, so I brought out
my "A" game.
172
00:06:22,380 --> 00:06:25,357
All my best moves...
my... my best lines.
173
00:06:25,438 --> 00:06:27,314
You don't need to do that
with me.
174
00:06:27,395 --> 00:06:29,760
Okay, maybe we should
just order.
175
00:06:29,842 --> 00:06:30,983
Yeah, okay.
176
00:06:34,694 --> 00:06:35,713
You know,
I'd order the pizza,
177
00:06:35,754 --> 00:06:36,855
but I haven't
had a decent one
178
00:06:36,936 --> 00:06:38,486
since I moved here
from the East Coast.
179
00:06:38,567 --> 00:06:39,790
Me neither.
180
00:06:39,831 --> 00:06:42,114
Everybody recommended this place
called Mario's...
181
00:06:42,196 --> 00:06:43,175
I went there.
182
00:06:43,215 --> 00:06:44,602
It was awful, right?
183
00:06:44,642 --> 00:06:46,273
So bad I had to go
someplace else
184
00:06:46,314 --> 00:06:47,864
and eat a whole
other pizza
185
00:06:47,904 --> 00:06:50,962
just to get the taste
out of my mouth!
186
00:06:51,003 --> 00:06:53,490
I'm lucky my mom sends me
pizza from home.
187
00:06:53,572 --> 00:06:54,591
Wait, where are you from?
188
00:06:54,673 --> 00:06:55,855
Philadelphia.
189
00:06:55,896 --> 00:06:57,405
( gasps ):
I love your sandwiches!
190
00:06:58,546 --> 00:06:59,933
MAITRE'D:
Mr. Tribbiani,
191
00:06:59,973 --> 00:07:04,173
compliments of Alan Thicke
and Lou Diamond Phillips.
192
00:07:05,885 --> 00:07:07,272
Interesting pairing.
193
00:07:07,353 --> 00:07:08,862
Thank you.
194
00:07:15,426 --> 00:07:17,261
So, can I get you
some wine,
195
00:07:17,343 --> 00:07:20,279
compliments of Vanilla Ice
and Tom Skerrit?
196
00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:23,133
Nice. Sure. Yeah.
197
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,290
Wow. These are great.
198
00:07:29,330 --> 00:07:31,124
Did you... did you
take all these?
199
00:07:31,206 --> 00:07:32,878
Yeah.
200
00:07:32,959 --> 00:07:34,631
That one, I took
in Burma.
201
00:07:34,712 --> 00:07:37,974
The little girl
was selling gum
on the street.
202
00:07:38,056 --> 00:07:39,931
Her eyes were
so melancholy,
203
00:07:40,013 --> 00:07:42,704
yet... so full of hope.
204
00:07:43,968 --> 00:07:45,558
Couldn't get her
to smile, huh?
205
00:07:47,882 --> 00:07:49,676
Eh, what are you gonna do?
206
00:07:51,348 --> 00:07:52,530
You have
a very interesting face.
207
00:07:52,612 --> 00:07:54,243
I can see why you
became an actor.
208
00:07:54,284 --> 00:07:55,181
Thank you.
209
00:07:55,262 --> 00:07:56,526
Mind if I photograph it?
210
00:07:56,567 --> 00:07:57,831
Okay.
211
00:07:57,872 --> 00:07:59,217
Have a seat.
212
00:08:10,267 --> 00:08:11,857
Joey, don't pose.
213
00:08:11,939 --> 00:08:13,284
Gotcha.
214
00:08:16,383 --> 00:08:19,604
I'm not getting a sense
of who you really are.
215
00:08:19,645 --> 00:08:21,765
Well, but what if this...
216
00:08:21,847 --> 00:08:23,967
really is who I am?
217
00:08:24,048 --> 00:08:25,924
Listen, you know what,
let's just take a break.
218
00:08:25,965 --> 00:08:28,044
We'll have some wine
and I can do this later.
219
00:08:28,085 --> 00:08:29,104
Sounds good.
220
00:08:30,735 --> 00:08:32,733
Hey, I wasn't ready.
221
00:08:32,774 --> 00:08:35,302
No, this is great.
222
00:08:35,343 --> 00:08:37,300
But I'm not
doing anything.
223
00:08:37,381 --> 00:08:39,665
Just relax.
224
00:08:39,706 --> 00:08:41,336
Be yourself.
225
00:08:53,895 --> 00:08:55,933
Look, if I was out
with any other girl
226
00:08:55,974 --> 00:08:57,157
running my "A" game,
227
00:08:57,238 --> 00:08:59,440
I would lean in
and kiss you right now,
228
00:08:59,522 --> 00:09:04,251
but I'm not...
sure what to do here.
229
00:09:04,333 --> 00:09:08,247
Well, this camera thing
is my "A" game,
230
00:09:08,288 --> 00:09:10,245
so let me make this easier
for you.
231
00:09:18,033 --> 00:09:21,662
I may borrow heavily
from this in the future.
232
00:09:30,183 --> 00:09:32,630
Good morning, everyone.
233
00:09:32,670 --> 00:09:35,280
So I take it your date with Sara
went well last night?
234
00:09:35,362 --> 00:09:36,789
It was really nice, yeah.
235
00:09:36,829 --> 00:09:38,990
She's not like
other women I've dated.
236
00:09:39,072 --> 00:09:40,581
I mean, we didn't have sex,
237
00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:44,006
but I still feel like
a connection was made.
238
00:09:44,087 --> 00:09:45,433
Is that shallow?
239
00:09:46,411 --> 00:09:47,430
Hey.
240
00:09:47,512 --> 00:09:48,694
Hey.
Hey.
241
00:09:48,735 --> 00:09:50,244
How is it having Eric back?
242
00:09:50,325 --> 00:09:51,671
Oh, it's great. It's good.
243
00:09:51,752 --> 00:09:54,362
It's a challenge. It's hard.
244
00:09:54,444 --> 00:09:55,993
Really? Wh-What's wrong?
245
00:09:56,034 --> 00:09:58,358
I guess I've forgotten what
it's like to live with somebody.
246
00:09:58,439 --> 00:09:59,744
Oh, it's a compromise.
247
00:09:59,785 --> 00:10:02,435
Yeah, it's taken me and Michael
months to get everything
248
00:10:02,476 --> 00:10:04,311
just the way I like it.
249
00:10:04,392 --> 00:10:06,227
Yeah, it's different
with Eric here.
250
00:10:06,309 --> 00:10:08,674
Like, I was doing a crossword
this morning,
251
00:10:08,755 --> 00:10:11,446
and the clue was
"TV lawyer Ally blank"
252
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:13,118
and he said, "McBeal".
253
00:10:13,199 --> 00:10:14,993
I mean, I'm a lawyer
and I'm spunky.
254
00:10:15,034 --> 00:10:17,073
I think I know who
Ally McBeal is, okay?
255
00:10:17,154 --> 00:10:18,826
Well, I'm sure
being back must
256
00:10:18,867 --> 00:10:20,620
be an adjustment
for him, too.
257
00:10:20,661 --> 00:10:23,311
Oh, yeah, especially
since now he suffers
258
00:10:23,393 --> 00:10:26,002
from this horrible affliction
called "jet lag".
259
00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:28,449
You may not have heard of it
because apparently my husband
260
00:10:28,530 --> 00:10:31,221
is the first person
ever to have it.
261
00:10:31,303 --> 00:10:33,423
Um, I've had jet lag.
262
00:10:33,464 --> 00:10:34,524
It can be pretty bad.
263
00:10:34,606 --> 00:10:36,807
He was in Cleveland!
264
00:10:38,438 --> 00:10:39,661
Okay, so he's bugging you.
265
00:10:39,743 --> 00:10:41,822
Have you tried to talk
to him about it yet?
266
00:10:41,904 --> 00:10:43,780
Uh... no.
267
00:10:43,861 --> 00:10:46,267
The way I was raised, we didn't
talk about our problems.
268
00:10:46,308 --> 00:10:48,020
When my mom was upset
with my dad,
269
00:10:48,102 --> 00:10:50,833
she'd just go to the tennis pro
and work on her game.
270
00:10:50,915 --> 00:10:53,117
She always came back so happy.
271
00:10:53,198 --> 00:10:55,930
It must have been Diego's
relaxed island attitude.
272
00:10:57,806 --> 00:10:59,396
Yeah, that's probably it.
273
00:10:59,437 --> 00:11:02,821
Bu-But still, you know, maybe,
maybe you and Eric should talk.
274
00:11:02,862 --> 00:11:04,778
Yeah, you're probably right.
275
00:11:04,819 --> 00:11:05,838
Okay, I'll try.
276
00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:07,551
Trust me,
it'll help.
277
00:11:07,632 --> 00:11:08,855
I mean, when I first moved in,
278
00:11:08,937 --> 00:11:10,935
I had a big problem
with Michael snoring.
279
00:11:10,976 --> 00:11:13,463
But then we talked about it,
and it got better.
280
00:11:13,544 --> 00:11:16,358
"Talked about it"?
281
00:11:16,439 --> 00:11:21,047
You put cotton balls in my nose
and duct-taped my mouth shut.
282
00:11:21,087 --> 00:11:23,615
And we worked it out.
283
00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:28,019
( knock at door )
284
00:11:29,650 --> 00:11:30,751
Hey.
Hey.
285
00:11:30,832 --> 00:11:32,504
I just wanted to
stop by and thank you
286
00:11:32,545 --> 00:11:34,665
for all the Philly
cheesesteaks you sent over.
287
00:11:34,706 --> 00:11:36,908
I think 30 sandwiches are
gonna last me a while.
288
00:11:36,948 --> 00:11:38,375
I know it sounds like a lot,
289
00:11:38,416 --> 00:11:40,863
but the cheesesteak
is a very versatile snack.
290
00:11:40,944 --> 00:11:42,779
Lunch on the go? Cheesesteak.
291
00:11:42,820 --> 00:11:45,185
Tired after racquetball?
Cheesesteak.
292
00:11:45,225 --> 00:11:47,142
Can't find a baby gift?
Cheesesteak.
293
00:11:47,223 --> 00:11:49,262
Well, I really appreciate it.
294
00:11:49,344 --> 00:11:51,708
Hey, your neighbor across the
way does something nice for you,
295
00:11:51,790 --> 00:11:52,809
you want to say thank you?
296
00:11:52,850 --> 00:11:54,114
Cheesesteak.
Cheesesteak.
297
00:11:54,196 --> 00:11:55,256
Yeah.
298
00:11:55,337 --> 00:11:56,846
You know, Joey,
I gotta tell you.
299
00:11:56,887 --> 00:11:59,333
You' not exactly who
I thought you would be.
300
00:11:59,374 --> 00:12:01,290
Do you want to go out
again tomorrow night?
301
00:12:01,331 --> 00:12:03,166
You're just asking me?
302
00:12:03,207 --> 00:12:05,449
I mean, I want to, but I'd...
303
00:12:05,490 --> 00:12:08,752
think I'd like you
to work a little harder.
304
00:12:08,793 --> 00:12:13,196
Okay. If I could
rearrange the alphabet,
305
00:12:13,278 --> 00:12:16,376
I would put "U"
and "I" together.
306
00:12:16,458 --> 00:12:19,312
Where do you get this stuff?
307
00:12:19,394 --> 00:12:21,025
I'll see you tomorrow night.
308
00:12:21,065 --> 00:12:22,085
Okay.
309
00:12:23,063 --> 00:12:24,287
Well, look at that.
310
00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:26,284
I just got asked out on a date.
311
00:12:26,325 --> 00:12:28,038
You really like her.
I do.
312
00:12:28,119 --> 00:12:29,383
In fact, I like her so much,
313
00:12:29,465 --> 00:12:31,626
I'm going to do something
I've never done before.
314
00:12:31,707 --> 00:12:35,825
I am not going to date any other
women until I see Sara again.
315
00:12:35,866 --> 00:12:37,864
You're going out
with her tomorrow.
316
00:12:37,946 --> 00:12:39,903
That's like 24 hours.
317
00:12:39,944 --> 00:12:42,512
I know. That's three very
disappointed ladies.
318
00:12:42,594 --> 00:12:45,407
I mean if Sara sees
me with another girl,
319
00:12:45,489 --> 00:12:46,549
she might feel weird.
320
00:12:46,590 --> 00:12:47,976
I mean, she's
right over there.
321
00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:50,055
You see, now, this...
this is why
322
00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:53,480
I don't date girls
within the building.
323
00:12:53,521 --> 00:12:56,661
( chuckling ):
Okay, buddy.
324
00:12:58,414 --> 00:12:59,841
( laughing harder )
325
00:13:02,940 --> 00:13:05,101
( sighing ):
You working on dinner yet, hon?
326
00:13:05,182 --> 00:13:06,691
It's only 3:00
in the afternoon.
327
00:13:06,773 --> 00:13:09,586
God, what can I tell you,
I'm on Cleveland time.
328
00:13:09,627 --> 00:13:10,891
( Eric chuckling )
329
00:13:12,522 --> 00:13:14,234
Oh, God, I got the lag.
330
00:13:14,316 --> 00:13:15,376
It's bad.
331
00:13:17,211 --> 00:13:19,209
( whispering ):
You have to say
something.
332
00:13:19,290 --> 00:13:20,880
I don't know.
333
00:13:20,962 --> 00:13:22,878
ERIC:
Now, honey, on your crossword,
you missed an easy one.
334
00:13:22,919 --> 00:13:26,140
"Sesame Street character
blank monster."
335
00:13:26,181 --> 00:13:27,730
That's Cookie.
336
00:13:29,239 --> 00:13:30,911
Okay, we have to talk.
337
00:13:30,992 --> 00:13:32,134
JOEY:
You know what?
338
00:13:32,215 --> 00:13:34,417
I'm gonna give you
two some privacy.
339
00:13:34,458 --> 00:13:35,844
( takes deep breath )
340
00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:38,291
Honey...
341
00:13:38,331 --> 00:13:41,186
you know that I love you.
342
00:13:43,020 --> 00:13:45,018
But I'm not used to
having you around
343
00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:48,484
and there are some things
that have been bothering me.
344
00:13:48,525 --> 00:13:49,626
I'm so sorry. I just...
345
00:13:49,666 --> 00:13:51,216
You know, I know
I haven't been myself,
346
00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:52,643
but I'm just so tired
with the...
347
00:13:52,724 --> 00:13:54,192
Jet lag! Yes.
348
00:13:54,233 --> 00:13:56,231
Um, funny you should
mention that,
349
00:13:56,313 --> 00:13:57,617
because one of the problems
350
00:13:57,658 --> 00:13:59,901
is that you've been talking
a lot about that.
351
00:13:59,941 --> 00:14:02,796
Oh. Oh. Uh, well,
I didn't realize.
352
00:14:02,836 --> 00:14:04,753
Um, I'm sorry.
353
00:14:04,793 --> 00:14:08,504
And please just let me do
the crossword puzzles myself.
354
00:14:08,545 --> 00:14:10,543
Okay.
355
00:14:10,624 --> 00:14:12,540
And if you're gonna
use the exercise bike,
356
00:14:12,622 --> 00:14:14,457
maybe just throw
some shorts on, okay?
357
00:14:14,498 --> 00:14:15,558
( Gina gasps )
358
00:14:15,639 --> 00:14:17,393
Are those two squirrels
doing it again?
359
00:14:17,433 --> 00:14:19,064
Shh! Shh! Shh!
360
00:14:20,369 --> 00:14:22,041
Alex is finally
getting everything
361
00:14:22,122 --> 00:14:23,753
off her chesest
with Eric.
362
00:14:23,794 --> 00:14:25,384
And I really
don't appreciate
you critiquing me
363
00:14:25,466 --> 00:14:26,770
when I'm singing
in the shower.
364
00:14:26,852 --> 00:14:29,380
Well, as a musician, it bothers
me when you sing off-key.
365
00:14:29,421 --> 00:14:31,092
As a musician,
it also bothers me
366
00:14:31,174 --> 00:14:32,846
that you never shave your legs.
367
00:14:34,232 --> 00:14:37,779
Well, as a lawyer, it bothers me
that your family sucks!
368
00:14:37,861 --> 00:14:40,267
Well, you know, will you,
will you please them
369
00:14:40,307 --> 00:14:41,490
to get out of there?!
370
00:14:52,988 --> 00:14:55,475
Hey, Michael, look at
Sara out there, reading.
371
00:14:55,557 --> 00:14:58,941
Oh, well, every diamond
has its flaws.
372
00:15:01,469 --> 00:15:04,404
Whoa, check out that
stripper-looking girl
wandering around.
373
00:15:04,486 --> 00:15:05,954
Ah, stripper-looking?
374
00:15:06,035 --> 00:15:06,769
She is a stripper.
375
00:15:06,810 --> 00:15:07,911
I met her at the...
376
00:15:07,993 --> 00:15:10,154
Oh, God, she's here for me!
377
00:15:10,194 --> 00:15:12,274
Remember I'm not dating
anyone because of Sara?
378
00:15:12,355 --> 00:15:14,720
Well, I canceled my lunch,
my dinner, but not my backup.
379
00:15:14,761 --> 00:15:15,943
I forgot about the backup!
380
00:15:17,411 --> 00:15:18,798
Damn, I can't even
remember her name.
381
00:15:18,879 --> 00:15:19,898
Tammy? Terry?
382
00:15:19,980 --> 00:15:21,856
Why is she over there?
383
00:15:21,896 --> 00:15:23,894
Well, she's clearly lost.
384
00:15:23,976 --> 00:15:26,504
She's gonna ask Sara
where I live.
385
00:15:26,585 --> 00:15:29,154
Something with a "T",
what are you doing out there?!
386
00:15:29,195 --> 00:15:30,459
Okay, I need your help.
387
00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:31,967
All right, what can I do?
388
00:15:32,049 --> 00:15:33,231
Okay, I need Sara
to think that
389
00:15:33,313 --> 00:15:34,944
"Something with a T"
is here for you, okay?
390
00:15:34,985 --> 00:15:37,186
So, go out there, get her
and walk her back here.
391
00:15:37,268 --> 00:15:39,551
This doesn't really play
to my strengths, Joey.
392
00:15:39,633 --> 00:15:41,875
I don't lie well,
I don't deal with women well.
393
00:15:41,957 --> 00:15:44,077
I don't walk particularly well.
394
00:15:44,159 --> 00:15:46,687
It's from the hot tub to
the apartment. 15 feet.
395
00:15:46,727 --> 00:15:47,665
Come on, Michael.
396
00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:48,929
You can do this.
I believe in you.
397
00:15:48,970 --> 00:15:50,519
All right, there's
just no other option?
398
00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:52,517
If there was,
would I be asking you?
399
00:15:58,470 --> 00:16:00,794
Hi. You remember me, right?
400
00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:02,140
I'm Michael, Joey's nephew.
401
00:16:02,221 --> 00:16:03,526
Yeah. Hi.
Hi.
402
00:16:03,567 --> 00:16:05,850
So that's my date.
403
00:16:05,932 --> 00:16:08,460
I'm here for her,
and-and she's here for me.
404
00:16:08,541 --> 00:16:11,192
There's a... connection there,
it's exciting,
405
00:16:11,232 --> 00:16:14,087
but I'm, I'm really not sure
where it's going.
406
00:16:14,127 --> 00:16:15,921
Excuse me.
407
00:16:16,003 --> 00:16:17,267
Um, I'm looking
for an apartment.
408
00:16:17,348 --> 00:16:18,205
Do you know where...
409
00:16:18,286 --> 00:16:21,426
I live? Yes, right there.
410
00:16:21,507 --> 00:16:22,364
It's me.
411
00:16:22,404 --> 00:16:23,464
Who are you?
412
00:16:23,546 --> 00:16:24,402
Who am I?
413
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,808
I'm Michael, your lover.
414
00:16:26,889 --> 00:16:28,887
Uh... my what?
415
00:16:28,969 --> 00:16:29,866
What's going on?
416
00:16:29,948 --> 00:16:30,845
Nothing's going on.
417
00:16:30,885 --> 00:16:31,945
It's just, uh...
It's, uh.
418
00:16:31,986 --> 00:16:34,392
Man down! Man down!
419
00:16:37,450 --> 00:16:39,855
Go to your room and think
about what you did!
420
00:16:44,544 --> 00:16:46,624
Ladies, before I commit
to a path here,
421
00:16:46,705 --> 00:16:49,437
what is the situation as
everyone understands it?
422
00:16:49,478 --> 00:16:51,150
Well, if I were to guess,
423
00:16:51,231 --> 00:16:54,289
I would say that
this nice woman...?
424
00:16:54,371 --> 00:16:55,227
Charlene.
425
00:16:55,309 --> 00:16:58,081
Wow, was I off.
426
00:16:58,163 --> 00:16:59,631
Charlene was here
for a date with you,
427
00:16:59,712 --> 00:17:00,854
and you had
Michael come out
428
00:17:00,935 --> 00:17:02,403
to pretend that she
was here for him.
429
00:17:02,485 --> 00:17:07,337
That's... that's...
that's not what this is.
430
00:17:07,378 --> 00:17:08,642
Then what is it?
431
00:17:08,723 --> 00:17:09,824
( stuttering )
432
00:17:09,906 --> 00:17:12,352
Uh... uh...
433
00:17:12,434 --> 00:17:16,022
( laughing ):
You're in trouble!
434
00:17:16,959 --> 00:17:18,754
See you later, Joey.
435
00:17:18,835 --> 00:17:20,140
Sara, wait...
436
00:17:20,181 --> 00:17:22,056
Charlene, look, I'm...
437
00:17:22,097 --> 00:17:23,442
I'm gonna have to cancel, okay?
438
00:17:23,524 --> 00:17:24,951
I really need to
go deal with her.
439
00:17:25,033 --> 00:17:26,623
Okay. Call me, Joey.
440
00:17:26,664 --> 00:17:28,498
Wow. You're game.
441
00:17:35,838 --> 00:17:38,366
Hey, listen, Sara,
I am really sorry about that.
442
00:17:38,447 --> 00:17:39,752
But you should know,
443
00:17:39,793 --> 00:17:41,954
I made that date with Charlene
before I even met you.
444
00:17:42,035 --> 00:17:43,381
I'm not upset that
you had a date.
445
00:17:43,422 --> 00:17:45,216
I don't care that
you see other women.
446
00:17:45,297 --> 00:17:47,336
But you lied to me and
put on that stupid show.
447
00:17:47,417 --> 00:17:49,497
Just be honest, Joey.
448
00:17:49,538 --> 00:17:51,332
That's the most
important thing.
449
00:17:51,372 --> 00:17:55,613
So, to summarize,
I can see other women?
450
00:17:55,694 --> 00:17:59,119
Yeah. I get that you're the
type of guy who dates a lot
451
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:00,587
I'm okay with that.
452
00:18:00,628 --> 00:18:01,810
Are you serious?
453
00:18:01,851 --> 00:18:03,238
We went out on one date.
454
00:18:03,319 --> 00:18:04,787
How inappropriate would it
be for me to be jealous?
455
00:18:04,828 --> 00:18:06,581
Very!
456
00:18:06,662 --> 00:18:09,639
Wow, you are so cool.
457
00:18:09,721 --> 00:18:11,433
This is going to work out great.
458
00:18:11,515 --> 00:18:12,412
Hey, Sara.
459
00:18:12,493 --> 00:18:13,839
Hey, Rick.
460
00:18:13,879 --> 00:18:15,510
Hey, we'd better get going
if we're gonna make that mov.
461
00:18:15,551 --> 00:18:16,856
You know what?
I just need a minute,
462
00:18:16,937 --> 00:18:18,079
so just make
yourself at home.
463
00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:19,751
Sure.
464
00:18:24,114 --> 00:18:25,581
So... you date, too.
465
00:18:25,622 --> 00:18:26,601
Is that okay?
466
00:18:26,682 --> 00:18:27,987
Yes, of course.
467
00:18:28,069 --> 00:18:29,944
It's awesome. I love it!
468
00:18:29,985 --> 00:18:32,880
RICK:
All right, cheesesteak!
469
00:18:32,921 --> 00:18:36,672
See, having a date
with another dude?
Cheesesteak!
470
00:18:36,753 --> 00:18:37,854
( forced chuckle )
471
00:18:40,994 --> 00:18:42,421
( door slamming )
472
00:18:42,502 --> 00:18:43,970
How'd it go with Sara?
473
00:18:44,052 --> 00:18:45,357
Well, she's not mad at me.
474
00:18:45,438 --> 00:18:47,395
In fact, she doesn't mind
if I see other women.
475
00:18:47,477 --> 00:18:48,741
That's great.
476
00:18:48,782 --> 00:18:50,861
Kind of.
477
00:18:50,943 --> 00:18:53,756
Yeah, she's actually
with another guy right now.
478
00:18:53,797 --> 00:18:55,265
You okay with that?
479
00:18:55,346 --> 00:18:58,200
Not really.
480
00:18:58,282 --> 00:18:59,627
I feel a little jealous.
481
00:18:59,668 --> 00:19:01,585
Not something
I've experienced much.
482
00:19:01,625 --> 00:19:03,623
Don't care for it.
483
00:19:05,458 --> 00:19:07,537
Well, we did it.
484
00:19:07,578 --> 00:19:08,720
Eric and I talked.
485
00:19:08,801 --> 00:19:10,025
We screamed a bit.
486
00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:12,267
We got everything
out in the open.
487
00:19:12,308 --> 00:19:13,287
It was pretty intense.
488
00:19:13,327 --> 00:19:14,551
Look, Alex, I'm sorry,
489
00:19:14,591 --> 00:19:16,141
but can we talk about this
another time?
490
00:19:16,181 --> 00:19:18,302
I'm going through some stuff
right now, okay?
491
00:19:18,383 --> 00:19:20,096
There's a guy over there
with his hands
492
00:19:20,177 --> 00:19:22,664
all over my cheesesteak!
493
00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:25,886
Eric and I are
getting separated.
494
00:19:30,004 --> 00:19:31,920
That's bigger.
495
00:19:46,395 --> 00:19:47,863
Eh, excuse me.
496
00:19:47,863 --> 00:19:48,556
Yeah?
497
00:19:48,556 --> 00:19:51,899
I saw a flower this morning
498
00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:54,223
and I thought it was the most
beautiful thing I'd ever seen
499
00:19:54,223 --> 00:19:55,773
until I gazed upon you.
500
00:19:55,773 --> 00:19:57,077
Wow.
501
00:19:57,077 --> 00:19:58,912
Thank you.
502
00:19:58,912 --> 00:20:01,644
Would you like to go and
get some coffee?
503
00:20:01,644 --> 00:20:02,337
Okay.
504
00:20:05,762 --> 00:20:06,537
Oh, god.
505
00:20:06,537 --> 00:20:08,494
Your legs.
506
00:20:08,494 --> 00:20:12,408
I got to go.
507
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:15,548
Damn you, chicken legs!!
508
00:20:16,305 --> 00:20:22,153
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