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1
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- Hey.
- Hey.
2
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I need a drink!
3
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You sound just like Dad.
4
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Dad didn't drink.
5
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Oh, no, no, I know, but your voice is deep like a man's.
6
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You want a beer?
7
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No, no. I have an audition in an hour with this great theater company,
8
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and I have to memorize a monologue from Shakespeare's Richard III.
9
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- Oh. How's that going?
- Bad.
10
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Why would you even want to do Shakespeare?
11
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Well, you know, this could be a great opportunity for me, you know?
12
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Really turn things around,
13
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get people to take me as a serious actor.
14
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Plus, I get to wear a crown.
15
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You know, maybe it would help you to memorize it if you understood the dialogue.
16
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Yeah, but it's like a whole other language.
17
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Well, let me help you.
18
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Let's start with the first line.
19
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Okay, uh, "Now is the winter of our discontent."
20
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Interesting.
21
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Uh, "made glorious summer by this sun of York."
22
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Oh, okay, sure.
23
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"And all the clouds that lowered upon our house
24
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In the deep bosom of the ocean buried."
25
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- You want to get a pizza?
- Oh, God, yes.
26
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Everyone is intimidated by a shark. Become
a Card Shark AMERICASCARDROOM.COM
27
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- Hey, Michael.
- Hey!.
28
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Oh, how'd the Shakespeare audition go?
29
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I didn't get it. I'm going to be the understudy.
30
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That's great.
31
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Michael, I don't know what that means in rocket science business,
32
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but in show business, it means you suck.
33
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You're looking at this the wrong way.
34
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If the lead actor gets sick, you're in.
35
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This is an opportunity.
36
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You just need to be ready to seize it when your moment comes.
37
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- Yeah?
- Yeah, absolutely.
38
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Remember what happened to Lou Gehrig?
39
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One day, Wally Pipp got sick. Lou filled in for him.
40
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He was so good, he replaced him permanently.
41
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The guy played, like, every single game for 13 years.
42
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Michael, I can't play this part that long.
43
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I'm supposed to go to SeaWorld in three weeks.
44
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The point is you could get your big break,
45
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and you need to be ready.
46
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Yeah, I'll just wait for my chance,
47
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then I'll go out there and be the bt Richard III there ever was.
48
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Well, actually, Sir Laurence Olivier set a pretty high standard for that one.
49
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Hmm. Maybe I should put a "Sir" in front of my name.
50
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Ooh. Girl, girl. Girl, girl.
51
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Well, hello.
52
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Hi.
53
00:02:51,634 --> 00:02:53,277
- Let me help you with that.
- Thanks.
54
00:02:53,357 --> 00:02:55,320
And let me be the first to welcome you to the building.
55
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Oh, actually, I'm moving out of my apartment here and in with my fianc�.
56
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Oh. Here you go.
57
00:03:04,295 --> 00:03:07,220
Joey, she's moving out. This is bad. This is really bad.
58
00:03:07,340 --> 00:03:09,664
Come on, Michael, you didn't have a chance with that girl.
59
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I could still get her. You want to see?
60
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No! Just look.
61
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An apartment is open in the building.
62
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My mother's going to want to move in.
63
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- Really?
- Yes!
64
00:03:18,878 --> 00:03:21,162
When I moved in, she asked me if there was an apartment open for her.
65
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God, she hates being alone,
66
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and now I'm not there anymore to do yard work or
67
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move furniture around.
68
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Whoa, whoa, uh, you move furniture?
69
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It's mostly wicker.
70
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This cannot happen. You have to help me.
71
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All right, all right, all right.
72
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Uh, well, we better take that sign down.
73
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You better just back off, mister!
74
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Oh, get the...!
75
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I didn't hit your car!
76
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You would know if I hit your car!
77
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I just totally hit that guy's car.
78
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What's going on with you guys?
79
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Nothing.
80
00:03:54,977 --> 00:03:58,182
Oh... what do we have here?
81
00:03:59,304 --> 00:04:00,826
A plant for rent?
82
00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:03,631
California. What a bunch of weirdos, huh?
83
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Yeah.
84
00:04:05,474 --> 00:04:06,515
I'll go get nner ready.
85
00:04:07,517 --> 00:04:08,238
Hey, guys.
86
00:04:08,439 --> 00:04:09,681
- Hi, Gina.
- Hey, Howie.
87
00:04:09,881 --> 00:04:11,964
Hey, did you notice anything different about me?
88
00:04:12,445 --> 00:04:13,407
Did you get shorter?
89
00:04:14,168 --> 00:04:15,770
No, I've been working out.
90
00:04:15,891 --> 00:04:17,093
I have a Bowflex.
91
00:04:17,213 --> 00:04:19,256
Good things are happeng to my body almost daily.
92
00:04:21,379 --> 00:04:24,304
Well, I can make good things happen to your body almost daily, too.
93
00:04:27,670 --> 00:04:28,872
I want to marry her.
94
00:04:30,634 --> 00:04:32,237
Hey, that's not supposed to be here.
95
00:04:32,277 --> 00:04:32,958
It's supposed to go over there.
96
00:04:33,038 --> 00:04:34,561
Well, hey, Howie, listen, uh,
97
00:04:34,961 --> 00:04:37,285
we don't want Gina to know about the empty apartment right now,
98
00:04:37,365 --> 00:04:38,567
so maybe don't mention it to her.
99
00:04:38,808 --> 00:04:39,729
Why can't she know?
100
00:04:39,769 --> 00:04:41,372
Uh, because if she finds out, she'll move into it,
101
00:04:41,412 --> 00:04:42,854
and we really don't want her living here.
102
00:04:42,894 --> 00:04:44,096
- She'd move in here?
- Howard...
103
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- I want that.
- Howard, no.
104
00:04:45,178 --> 00:04:47,021
- I'm gonna tell her. Gina!
- Howard.
105
00:04:50,346 --> 00:04:52,069
Do you want to have another pizza night, just you and me?
106
00:04:52,430 --> 00:04:54,152
That was the best night ever!
107
00:04:54,192 --> 00:04:55,314
We watched Die Hard,
108
00:04:55,394 --> 00:04:57,518
and then you showed me your Days of Our Lives cast photo
109
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and pointed out everyone you slept with.
110
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All right, well, we can do that again
111
00:05:01,805 --> 00:05:03,848
if you don't mention the empty apartment to Gina.
112
00:05:03,968 --> 00:05:05,250
- Really?
- Yeah, but...
113
00:05:05,451 --> 00:05:07,895
this time, we can Die Harder.
114
00:05:08,656 --> 00:05:11,140
The same thing happens, only this time, they're on a plane!
115
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Michael, guess what? Great news!
116
00:05:18,792 --> 00:05:21,196
The guy who plays Richard III has been throwing up all day!
117
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Really?
118
00:05:22,278 --> 00:05:23,520
Yeah, yeah. They think it might be serious--
119
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I'm going to get to go on!
120
00:05:24,762 --> 00:05:26,004
I'm so happy for you.
121
00:05:26,084 --> 00:05:28,408
See, I told you. So, how are the lines coming?
122
00:05:28,528 --> 00:05:30,331
Ah, yeah, words...
123
00:05:30,611 --> 00:05:32,134
the worst part of acting.
124
00:05:32,735 --> 00:05:35,459
I just... I can't get that opening monologue.
125
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I think I have too much information stored in my brain.
126
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It's an interesting theory.
127
00:05:42,751 --> 00:05:44,153
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
128
00:05:44,313 --> 00:05:47,198
Do you know what's been happening to the "for rent" signs I've been putting up?
129
00:05:47,318 --> 00:05:49,482
Yeah, yeah, we've been taking 'em down and tearing 'em up.
130
00:05:50,764 --> 00:05:52,126
And why have you been doing that?
131
00:05:52,166 --> 00:05:54,089
Because if my mom finds out there's an apartment here,
132
00:05:54,129 --> 00:05:55,451
she'll want to move in immediately.
133
00:05:55,652 --> 00:05:57,334
Oh. Well, that might be okay.
134
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We're getting along pretty well.
135
00:05:58,456 --> 00:05:59,057
Really?
136
00:05:59,097 --> 00:06:00,580
You think you'd want her as a tenant?
137
00:06:01,020 --> 00:06:03,024
Okay, let's do a little role play, all right?
138
00:06:03,144 --> 00:06:05,628
I'll be Gina, and you come and ask me for the rent.
139
00:06:06,549 --> 00:06:09,113
- Okay. Gina...
- Bite me, Blondie!
140
00:06:12,078 --> 00:06:13,681
That felt so real.
141
00:06:15,283 --> 00:06:16,566
Okay, you know what? You're right.
142
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This can't happen. She's crazy.
143
00:06:17,928 --> 00:06:19,290
oa, whoa, whoa, Alex.
144
00:06:19,330 --> 00:06:21,093
We can talk about her like that, but you can't.
145
00:06:21,173 --> 00:06:22,936
- That's my sister.
- Yeah, that's my mother.
146
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,099
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
147
00:06:26,542 --> 00:06:28,024
Ah, we're just messing with you.
148
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She's crazy,
149
00:06:30,268 --> 00:06:32,712
so look, we have to find someone else to live in that apartment.
150
00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:33,593
Is anybody interested in it?
151
00:06:33,673 --> 00:06:35,436
No. I was thinking of having an open house.
152
00:06:35,516 --> 00:06:36,638
Oh, oh, have one tomorrow.
153
00:06:36,678 --> 00:06:38,521
She has to go to San Diego for a wig convention.
154
00:06:38,561 --> 00:06:41,446
Ooh, San Diego. Only 20 more days till SeaWorld.
155
00:06:43,128 --> 00:06:44,571
Okay, this can totally work.
156
00:06:44,611 --> 00:06:46,574
I-I just have to rent it to someone by tomorrow.
157
00:06:47,095 --> 00:06:48,257
I just wish my husband were here.
158
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He's t real salesman in the family.
159
00:06:49,939 --> 00:06:50,781
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
160
00:06:50,821 --> 00:06:53,265
The last apartment we had open, he rend no problem,
161
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even though there was bad plumbing,
162
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faulty heating,
163
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and there's mold in the walls.
164
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Uh, weren't we the last people to move in?
165
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So, SeaWorld, huh?
166
00:07:14,940 --> 00:07:17,063
All hail King Meatball.
167
00:07:18,746 --> 00:07:20,429
Hey, you gonna come see my play tonight, right?
168
00:07:20,469 --> 00:07:22,833
Pass up a chance to see you in makeup and tights?
169
00:07:22,873 --> 00:07:24,315
That's going to be my Christmas card.
170
00:07:25,637 --> 00:07:26,999
So, you ready to go on?
171
00:07:27,079 --> 00:07:30,124
Yeah, yeah, I got everything down except that damn opening monologue.
172
00:07:30,605 --> 00:07:32,128
Hey, what do you think about sitting in the front row
173
00:07:32,168 --> 00:07:33,450
and mouthing the words to me.
174
00:07:33,650 --> 00:07:34,411
I don't know it.
175
00:07:34,491 --> 00:07:35,934
You know it better than I do.
176
00:07:40,100 --> 00:07:40,701
Hello.
177
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Uh-huh.
178
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Oh.
179
00:07:45,269 --> 00:07:45,990
Okay.
180
00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:48,033
Uh-huh. Thanks. Bye.
181
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Uh-oh.
182
00:07:50,678 --> 00:07:52,120
Paternity test results?
183
00:07:54,203 --> 00:07:56,968
No, that was the theater calling. I'm going on tonight.
184
00:07:57,168 --> 00:07:58,090
You knew that.
185
00:07:58,210 --> 00:07:59,933
Different theater. Different play.
186
00:08:01,415 --> 00:08:02,096
What?!
187
00:08:02,577 --> 00:08:05,261
Well, I liked understudying so much, I took another job.
188
00:08:05,381 --> 00:08:07,024
I over-understudied!
189
00:08:08,907 --> 00:08:09,989
Now, why would you do that?
190
00:08:10,069 --> 00:08:12,713
Well, I figured if I understudied in more than one thing,
191
00:08:12,753 --> 00:08:14,837
it'd increase my odds of getting on stage.
192
00:08:15,157 --> 00:08:18,162
You know, you think just enough to really screw things up for yourself.
193
00:08:19,244 --> 00:08:21,608
I know, I know! I can't believe this.
194
00:08:21,728 --> 00:08:24,332
What are the chances that two people getting sick at the same time?!
195
00:08:24,372 --> 00:08:25,414
Well, it's flu season.
196
00:08:25,534 --> 00:08:26,696
Get a flu shot!
197
00:08:26,776 --> 00:08:27,938
You didn't get a flu shot.
198
00:08:27,978 --> 00:08:29,380
I'm not in a play!
199
00:08:31,063 --> 00:08:32,305
What am I going to do?
200
00:08:32,665 --> 00:08:35,189
Hey, Joey, there was a weird phone message for you.
201
00:08:35,270 --> 00:08:37,633
Your producer called, said you were going on tonight.
202
00:08:37,754 --> 00:08:38,956
Yeah, yeah, yeah, honey. He knows already.
203
00:08:39,036 --> 00:08:40,518
He's in two plays tonight.
204
00:08:40,839 --> 00:08:42,882
Actually, I should hear this.
205
00:08:43,763 --> 00:08:44,645
Well, okay, the message was
206
00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:47,009
"Trent's stuck in Florida, so they need you to play the part of Gus."
207
00:08:47,049 --> 00:08:48,531
You're in three plays?
208
00:08:48,571 --> 00:08:51,055
God! I was afraid it was Gus!
209
00:08:51,336 --> 00:08:52,337
Damn it, Trent!
210
00:08:52,457 --> 00:08:54,340
Unprofessional! Unprofessional! Unprofessional!
211
00:08:55,663 --> 00:08:57,225
So, what's the third play about?
212
00:09:00,831 --> 00:09:02,393
I don't remember!
213
00:09:03,275 --> 00:09:04,757
Joey, what are you going to do?
214
00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:06,841
I don't know. I-I can only do one.
215
00:09:06,881 --> 00:09:08,483
Don't do the one with the monologue in it,
216
00:09:08,523 --> 00:09:09,565
'cause you don't know that very well.
217
00:09:09,605 --> 00:09:12,570
Yeah, but I haven't studied the dancing in that cowboy thing at all.
218
00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:19,181
I don't know it!
219
00:09:20,543 --> 00:09:22,185
Oh, please, do that one.
220
00:09:23,467 --> 00:09:24,429
I can't believe this.
221
00:09:24,469 --> 00:09:25,230
What are the chances?
222
00:09:25,270 --> 00:09:27,554
It's like everything is lining up to screw me!
223
00:09:27,714 --> 00:09:29,998
It's the understudy perfect storm!
224
00:09:37,851 --> 00:09:38,732
Joey!
225
00:09:38,932 --> 00:09:40,295
Thank you for coming in.
226
00:09:40,575 --> 00:09:42,218
Listen, the reason that I called is...
227
00:09:42,538 --> 00:09:44,542
No, no, no, no. You-You didn't call me. I called you.
228
00:09:44,742 --> 00:09:46,024
Oh, good.
229
00:09:47,386 --> 00:09:49,309
I was just about to make something up.
230
00:09:50,711 --> 00:09:53,356
Okay, look, Bobbie, I got a real problem, and I need your help.
231
00:09:53,476 --> 00:09:55,199
I took an understudy role in this play...
232
00:09:55,359 --> 00:09:57,482
Oh, no! I hate plays!
233
00:09:58,764 --> 00:09:59,846
No, that's not the problem.
234
00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:01,529
Oh, it gets worse?!
235
00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:04,654
Well, I signed up to understudy in three different plays,
236
00:10:04,774 --> 00:10:06,377
and they all want me to go on tonight.
237
00:10:06,777 --> 00:10:07,418
What?!
238
00:10:09,302 --> 00:10:12,547
Oh, why can't you just have a coke problem like everyone else?
239
00:10:14,109 --> 00:10:15,632
I'll give that some thought.
240
00:10:16,513 --> 00:10:18,597
All right,you have to do three plays at once.
241
00:10:18,677 --> 00:10:21,361
Well, lucky for you, I am the queen of multitasking.
242
00:10:21,802 --> 00:10:23,324
Right now, as we are talking,
243
00:10:23,404 --> 00:10:25,087
I am doing butt clenches,
244
00:10:25,247 --> 00:10:28,613
and I'm learning Spanish in this ear piece.
245
00:10:29,053 --> 00:10:30,696
Me llamo Bobbie.
246
00:10:32,058 --> 00:10:35,143
I'm trying to seduce a Mexican soap star.
247
00:10:36,465 --> 00:10:39,631
All right, let's see if we can juggle these.
248
00:10:40,913 --> 00:10:43,517
All three plays are at the same time?
249
00:10:43,677 --> 00:10:44,599
Uh, no, no, no.
250
00:10:44,759 --> 00:10:46,081
One starts a little earlier.
251
00:10:46,281 --> 00:10:48,044
Oh, and one I'm not in until the second act.
252
00:10:48,244 --> 00:10:48,845
Great!
253
00:10:49,006 --> 00:10:50,328
So, you can do both of those.
254
00:10:50,568 --> 00:10:54,414
And for the third, maybe we can get the actor to go on.
255
00:10:54,815 --> 00:10:55,857
How am I going to do that?
256
00:10:55,977 --> 00:10:59,463
Well, I'd offer to call ani threaten to ruin his career,
257
00:10:59,663 --> 00:11:01,586
but it couldn't get much worse.
258
00:11:01,666 --> 00:11:02,788
He's doing a play.
259
00:11:04,711 --> 00:11:06,634
Oh, uh... maybe I can just go talk to him.
260
00:11:06,794 --> 00:11:07,876
You do that.
261
00:11:07,996 --> 00:11:09,479
You'll think of something to say.
262
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,722
You're a big, bright guy.
263
00:11:11,883 --> 00:11:13,285
Yeah, yeah, I get that a lot.
264
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:15,569
Really?
265
00:11:17,812 --> 00:11:20,697
Well, enough of that "�D�nde esta la playa?" crap.
266
00:11:21,779 --> 00:11:24,423
How do you say, "Take off my bra"?
267
00:11:25,545 --> 00:11:26,907
Quitame mi brassi�re.
268
00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:37,204
Hey, Alex, how's the open house going?
269
00:11:37,244 --> 00:11:40,008
Okay. We've had a few bites, but no one's really interested.
270
00:11:40,329 --> 00:11:42,813
Oh, did you mention there's a celebrity living in the complex?
271
00:11:42,893 --> 00:11:44,255
There is? Who?
272
00:11:44,415 --> 00:11:46,098
Uh, Sir Joey Tribbiani.
273
00:11:47,460 --> 00:11:49,223
Oh, yeah. Well, let's keep that quiet.
274
00:11:49,343 --> 00:11:51,426
We don't want the paparazzi crawling around here.
275
00:11:51,787 --> 00:11:53,269
Oh, yeah. I hate those bastards.
276
00:11:53,269 --> 00:11:54,912
Always following me around in their helicopters.
277
00:11:57,036 --> 00:11:58,197
All right, well, you'd better rent it soon,
278
00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:00,241
'cause Gina's going to be back from San Diego in a couple of hours.
279
00:12:00,281 --> 00:12:02,004
Okay, well, I'm doing the best I can.
280
00:12:02,044 --> 00:12:03,766
It's not like I've got the greatest prospects here.
281
00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:05,289
Well, look, don't be so choosy, all right?
282
00:12:05,369 --> 00:12:08,093
The important thing is to rent it to someone who's not my sister.
283
00:12:08,254 --> 00:12:09,856
All right? And maybe someone who's hot.
284
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,339
And has Hollywood connections.
285
00:12:11,459 --> 00:12:13,142
- And HDTV!
- Get out of here!
286
00:12:16,467 --> 00:12:17,148
Hey, Michael.
287
00:12:17,989 --> 00:12:20,874
Hey, looks like there's a lot of people at the open... Hi, Gina.
288
00:12:22,036 --> 00:12:22,997
You're here!
289
00:12:23,038 --> 00:12:24,280
Uh, what happened to your wig convention?
290
00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:25,842
Oh, a lot of stylists came down with the flu,
291
00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:27,765
so they canceled the whole thing.
292
00:12:27,845 --> 00:12:29,528
Flu, you are killing me.
293
00:12:30,610 --> 00:12:32,092
All right, Michael, I'm just gonna get your laundry,
294
00:12:32,212 --> 00:12:32,813
and I'll be on my way.
295
00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:33,655
Okay, Ma.
296
00:12:34,857 --> 00:12:36,579
How long has she been here? Did she see the open house?
297
00:12:36,619 --> 00:12:37,862
No, she came before it started,
298
00:12:37,902 --> 00:12:39,424
but now she has to stay 'till it's over.
299
00:12:39,464 --> 00:12:41,067
So, how are we gonna keep her here?
300
00:12:41,147 --> 00:12:43,471
Uh... Oh, wait. Keeping her here will be easy.
301
00:12:43,551 --> 00:12:44,993
What's her favorite thing to do in the world?
302
00:12:45,073 --> 00:12:46,355
Uh... telling us what to do.
303
00:12:46,395 --> 00:12:47,116
Be more specific.
304
00:12:47,197 --> 00:12:48,238
Uh, telling me what to do.
305
00:12:48,278 --> 00:12:48,919
Exactly.
306
00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:50,842
So, just ask her advice about something.
307
00:12:51,003 --> 00:12:52,004
Uh, like, what?
308
00:12:52,125 --> 00:12:53,206
Uh, all right, don't worry, I'll help.
309
00:12:53,246 --> 00:12:54,849
I've been working on improv with my new theater company.
310
00:12:54,929 --> 00:12:56,612
Watch me think on my feet.
311
00:12:57,493 --> 00:12:58,575
This is scary.
312
00:12:59,657 --> 00:13:01,540
All right, I got your laundry. I'm gonna take off.
313
00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:02,301
Okay, Mom, you know what?
314
00:13:02,381 --> 00:13:05,787
Stay. Just 'cause I want to talk. I have a problem.
315
00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:06,628
With what?
316
00:13:06,788 --> 00:13:08,110
Well, it's a problem with...
317
00:13:08,150 --> 00:13:08,872
A girl.
318
00:13:09,032 --> 00:13:10,474
Yes, with-with a girl.
319
00:13:10,795 --> 00:13:13,479
- Really? What's her name?
- Raisin.
320
00:13:18,127 --> 00:13:20,851
Yes, uh, her-her name is Raisin, and she's a little bit...
321
00:13:20,891 --> 00:13:21,492
Cajun!
322
00:13:23,816 --> 00:13:24,817
Sh-She's a little bit Cajun.
323
00:13:24,897 --> 00:13:26,821
And her father's a dirty cop!
324
00:13:27,462 --> 00:13:29,385
Okay, I'm glad you came to me about this.
325
00:13:29,385 --> 00:13:30,386
Here's what you're gonna do.
326
00:13:30,426 --> 00:13:33,311
Wait, you actually have some advice about my Cajun girlfriend Raisin?
327
00:13:35,194 --> 00:13:37,638
First, there's a few things that you two need to get straight, okay?
328
00:13:37,678 --> 00:13:38,720
Okay, great. I'm taking off.
329
00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:39,922
Joey, where are you going?
330
00:13:40,042 --> 00:13:41,244
It turns out, time-wise,
331
00:13:41,324 --> 00:13:43,568
I can still do Richard III, and then make it across town
332
00:13:43,608 --> 00:13:45,090
for the second act in the cowboy musical.
333
00:13:45,090 --> 00:13:47,614
So now, I got to convince the sick actor in the third play
334
00:13:47,654 --> 00:13:49,497
that he's well enough to go on instead of me.
335
00:13:56,148 --> 00:13:57,470
Okay, I'm ready.
336
00:14:02,959 --> 00:14:04,321
Hey, Tim.
337
00:14:05,804 --> 00:14:06,925
Who are you?
338
00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:10,131
It's me, Joey, your understudy.
339
00:14:10,171 --> 00:14:11,333
What are you doing here?
340
00:14:11,413 --> 00:14:12,575
Oh, ah, your roommate let me in.
341
00:14:12,655 --> 00:14:14,377
I just really wanted to thank you
342
00:14:14,538 --> 00:14:15,860
for giving me the chance to go on tonight.
343
00:14:15,900 --> 00:14:18,103
And I want you know to know that I am not gonna let you down.
344
00:14:18,264 --> 00:14:20,067
I've been busy making the role of Harry my own.
345
00:14:20,107 --> 00:14:21,269
You mean Henry.
346
00:14:22,671 --> 00:14:24,273
Good thing I'm getting out of this one.
347
00:14:25,596 --> 00:14:27,999
Anyway, I-I just wanted to tell you a little story, Tim.
348
00:14:28,039 --> 00:14:29,041
Do you like baseball?
349
00:14:29,121 --> 00:14:32,166
Not really. But I like A-Rod. He's yummy.
350
00:14:33,528 --> 00:14:34,810
Amen. Hmm.
351
00:14:35,732 --> 00:14:38,456
Yeah, anyway, uh, you remind me of this first baseman, Wally Pipp.
352
00:14:38,657 --> 00:14:41,101
Why? Did he die with an understudy in his room?
353
00:14:43,144 --> 00:14:43,865
No...
354
00:14:44,586 --> 00:14:47,671
no, but he was sick one day, and he allowed a young, no-name backup
355
00:14:47,751 --> 00:14:49,033
to come into the game for him.
356
00:14:49,114 --> 00:14:50,676
And he never made it back into the lineup.
357
00:14:50,716 --> 00:14:52,038
- You know why?
- Why?
358
00:14:52,118 --> 00:14:54,923
Because his replacement turned out to be Lou Gehrig,
359
00:14:55,163 --> 00:14:57,006
one of the most beloved figures in baseball,
360
00:14:57,086 --> 00:14:59,250
hitting almost 500 home runs.
361
00:15:01,494 --> 00:15:04,018
- You do know what a home run is?
- I'm not that gay.
362
00:15:05,660 --> 00:15:06,462
Sorry.
363
00:15:06,622 --> 00:15:08,825
Anyway, I just, uh, just wanted to leave you with that little story
364
00:15:08,865 --> 00:15:11,710
before I go out tonight and act one out of the park.
365
00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:14,434
Wait, why are you telling me this? Are you threatening me?
366
00:15:14,515 --> 00:15:15,516
If I was, would it work?
367
00:15:15,717 --> 00:15:18,281
Is this a kind of All About Eve situation?
368
00:15:18,882 --> 00:15:20,244
If it was, would it work?
369
00:15:21,606 --> 00:15:23,569
You know, maybe I am starting to feel a little better.
370
00:15:23,770 --> 00:15:24,771
- Really?
- Yeah.
371
00:15:24,851 --> 00:15:26,254
I think I can go on tonight.
372
00:15:26,414 --> 00:15:27,816
Well, hey, if that's what you want, Tim,
373
00:15:27,816 --> 00:15:29,539
I'm not gonna be the one to stop you.
374
00:15:29,659 --> 00:15:31,302
If only I hadn't stopped by!
375
00:15:32,424 --> 00:15:34,427
You know, coming in here and trying to talk me into going on--
376
00:15:34,507 --> 00:15:36,550
you may be the worst understudy ever.
377
00:15:36,670 --> 00:15:38,073
You have no idea.
378
00:15:43,521 --> 00:15:45,164
Hey, did you rent the apartment yet?
379
00:15:45,284 --> 00:15:46,246
I did, finally.
380
00:15:46,246 --> 00:15:48,890
Actually, to a really nice girl who just moved here from New York.
381
00:15:48,970 --> 00:15:49,772
Uh-oh.
382
00:15:49,852 --> 00:15:51,935
I hope it's not someone I slept with and never called back.
383
00:15:53,337 --> 00:15:55,060
I doubt it. I mean, what are the odds?
384
00:15:55,140 --> 00:15:56,783
Actually, quite high, yeah.
385
00:15:57,224 --> 00:15:58,706
Come on, let's go tell Michael the good news.
386
00:15:59,627 --> 00:16:01,751
Well, she really sounds worth fighting for,
387
00:16:01,871 --> 00:16:03,834
but, remember, the Cajun are an emotional people.
388
00:16:05,677 --> 00:16:07,801
Okay, Mom. Uh, thanks for the advice.
389
00:16:07,881 --> 00:16:09,043
And I want to meet this Raisin.
390
00:16:09,123 --> 00:16:11,086
Oh, that's actually gonna be difficult, 'cause she lives...
391
00:16:11,166 --> 00:16:12,168
In a submarine.
392
00:16:17,176 --> 00:16:18,458
She, uh... She lives on a submarine.
393
00:16:19,620 --> 00:16:20,982
All right. I'm gonna take off.
394
00:16:21,383 --> 00:16:22,825
Okay, okay.
395
00:16:23,145 --> 00:16:24,748
Keeping this secret's been torturing me.
396
00:16:24,828 --> 00:16:25,670
I can't eat,
397
00:16:25,710 --> 00:16:26,751
I can't sleep,
398
00:16:26,912 --> 00:16:28,113
I can barely Bowflex.
399
00:16:29,235 --> 00:16:31,719
Gina, there's an apartment for rent across the way.
400
00:16:32,721 --> 00:16:33,442
What?!
401
00:16:33,602 --> 00:16:35,005
They didn't want me to tell you, but,
402
00:16:35,125 --> 00:16:36,327
I want you to live here.
403
00:16:36,727 --> 00:16:39,492
I think you deserve to know 'cause you're super, super pretty.
404
00:16:40,654 --> 00:16:42,176
No more Die Hard for you, Howie.
405
00:16:42,216 --> 00:16:44,260
Really? 'Cause I just ordered pizza.
406
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:45,782
Bring it down, and we'll talk.
407
00:16:49,107 --> 00:16:49,989
Did you know about this?
408
00:16:50,109 --> 00:16:52,192
Hey, hey, hey, she had nothing to do with it.
409
00:16:52,232 --> 00:16:54,516
It's true. I-I would have rented it to you in a second.
410
00:16:54,596 --> 00:16:56,319
I love having you around. In fact...
411
00:16:56,399 --> 00:16:58,282
- Bite me, Blondie.
- Okay.
412
00:17:01,648 --> 00:17:04,212
Wow. So, all day you've been trying to keep me
413
00:17:04,252 --> 00:17:05,814
from finding out about this place.
414
00:17:06,135 --> 00:17:08,338
You guys must have really not wanted me to live here, huh?
415
00:17:08,459 --> 00:17:09,821
Look, Gina, I just...
416
00:17:09,901 --> 00:17:11,664
I just thought it would be better for Michael.
417
00:17:11,744 --> 00:17:15,470
Look, Mom, I'm sorry. I just...
418
00:17:16,271 --> 00:17:17,473
I like things the way they are.
419
00:17:17,513 --> 00:17:18,675
I like having my own space.
420
00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:21,760
Me, too.
421
00:17:23,563 --> 00:17:24,244
What?
422
00:17:25,366 --> 00:17:27,409
Look, there was a time, not too long ago,
423
00:17:27,489 --> 00:17:30,013
when I would have wanted to live the and be closer to you.
424
00:17:30,414 --> 00:17:32,818
But I have to say, this is kind of working out for me.
425
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:35,222
I mean, I went straight from being a kid to raising a kid.
426
00:17:35,302 --> 00:17:36,985
I've never rlly lived alone before.
427
00:17:37,986 --> 00:17:39,709
I've never lived alone, either.
428
00:17:41,472 --> 00:17:42,954
And it's scary,
429
00:17:43,515 --> 00:17:44,557
but it's nice.
430
00:17:45,238 --> 00:17:46,761
I gothe whole place to myself.
431
00:17:46,801 --> 00:17:49,004
I can listen to bad music whenever I want.
432
00:17:49,044 --> 00:17:50,767
I can light my smelly candles that you hate,
433
00:17:50,847 --> 00:17:52,249
and I can take super-long baths.
434
00:17:52,370 --> 00:17:54,373
He's always interrupting my baths!
435
00:17:56,977 --> 00:18:00,022
I guess I'm figuring out who I am away from you,
436
00:18:00,262 --> 00:18:01,344
and it's strange,
437
00:18:02,266 --> 00:18:03,948
but I'm kind of having fun.
438
00:18:05,631 --> 00:18:06,392
What?
439
00:18:09,477 --> 00:18:11,200
It's just, it's-it's weird. You know?
440
00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:13,684
I-I guess, I didn't want you to smother me,
441
00:18:13,724 --> 00:18:15,287
but now that you're not doing it anymore,
442
00:18:15,647 --> 00:18:16,849
it's actually kind of sad.
443
00:18:16,969 --> 00:18:18,532
You know, I guess things are changing.
444
00:18:19,974 --> 00:18:20,775
Yeah.
445
00:18:21,897 --> 00:18:24,421
In fact, maybe you should start doing your own laundry.
446
00:18:27,066 --> 00:18:29,950
And maybe you guys should start cooking for yourselves, too.
447
00:18:30,030 --> 00:18:32,434
Hey, you are this boy's mother!
448
00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:47,338
Now is the winter of our discontent...
449
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:50,744
What's the next line?
450
00:18:51,746 --> 00:18:52,827
What's the next line?!
451
00:18:54,470 --> 00:18:55,752
Oh, God, please,
452
00:18:55,912 --> 00:18:58,356
help me get through this, and I promise, from now on,
453
00:18:58,396 --> 00:19:01,041
I will not understudy for more than two plays at once.
454
00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:14,823
Now is the winter of our discontent
455
00:19:15,864 --> 00:19:19,510
Made glorious summer by this son of York,
456
00:19:20,071 --> 00:19:23,717
And all the clouds that lowered upon our house
457
00:19:24,198 --> 00:19:26,802
in the deep bosom of the ocean buried.
458
00:19:27,443 --> 00:19:32,011
Now are our brows bound with victorious wreaths,
459
00:19:32,331 --> 00:19:35,176
Our bruis�d arms hung up for monuments,
460
00:19:35,616 --> 00:19:39,382
Our stern alarms changed to merry meetings,
461
00:19:39,623 --> 00:19:44,030
Our dreadful marches to delightful measures.
462
00:20:02,780 --> 00:20:05,304
Also, enjoy the cowboys!
463
00:20:10,873 --> 00:20:13,037
An all new Will & Grace is coming up nest
464
00:20:13,077 --> 00:20:15,160
right here on NBC.
465
00:20:16,282 --> 00:20:18,566
I can't believe I finally nailed that speech.
466
00:20:18,806 --> 00:20:20,609
It was in the wrong play but still...
467
00:20:21,370 --> 00:20:23,975
I would like to make a toast to my brother.
468
00:20:24,095 --> 00:20:25,577
To his L.A. stage debut!
469
00:20:26,218 --> 00:20:27,420
To acting!
470
00:20:27,540 --> 00:20:28,462
To acting!
471
00:20:30,305 --> 00:20:31,427
To independence!
472
00:20:32,548 --> 00:20:34,151
to independance!
473
00:20:34,992 --> 00:20:36,915
And to Micheal and Raisin!
474
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:41,723
To Micheal and Raisin!
475
00:20:42,305 --> 00:20:48,347
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