Original subtitles

I would like to donate this dress.

This dress?

Yes. I got it from someone I was dating, and he turned out to be a real creep.

That's too bad.

I bet it looks real nice on you.

Yeah, well, thanks, but I don't want anything around that reminds me of him.

You can keep the shopping bag, too.

Come again.

Can I help you?

That dress.

That looks just like a dress I had once.

Really? Yeah.

I had left it somewhere once.

And I've always regretted not getting it back.

May I see it?

Sure.

I was just going to send it out to have it cleaned.

Oh, wow.

I can't believe it. This has got to be mine.

I remember getting this stain.

Right here on the hem. Well, now's your chance to get it back.

I bet it looks great on you, too.

Oh, I can't decide.

Oh, I don't know.

This dress has got a lot of memories attached to it.

Oh, God, I've got to be somewhere.

I'm sorry, I won't take it. Thanks anyway.

Anytime.

Morty, you're breaking up. I'm sorry.

Honey, I can't talk. I just found a great store. Bye, sweetie.

Oh, what a fabulous dress.

Can I see that?

Yeah.

Oh, I just love it.

Oh, I wonder if it'll fit me.

Here's to you.

What an incredible dinner.

Thank you.

It was my pleasure.

Debbie, I don't want you to think that I brought you here to seduce you.

Oh?

I never sleep with a woman on the first date.

Wow.

Why don't you lead the way?

That is so sweet.

What, you like the view?

Oh, very much so.

Let's go over there.

I'll show you a better one.

This is wrong.

What's wrong?

We shouldn't be doing this.

Yes, you're right.

I just feel like the ultimate woman just landed in my home.

You do?

I just like it too much.

You do?

My baby.

Well, we're grown-ups.

We know what we're doing, right?

You ain't drawing into a web, that's what I'm doing.

Don't get scared.

Just kiss me.

Are you sure?

Oh, I'm very sure.

Yes, like that.

I'm going to teach you.

Is there something I can help you with?

Well, I'm not sure.

Oh, what a lovely accent. Where are you from?

Italy. Italy. I love Italy.

You have been there?

Well, not really, but all those Sophia Loren movies, Gina Lollobrigida,

Claudia Cardinale.

In my fantasies, I have.

I see.

So who, I mean, what were you looking for?

I was looking for a sexy dress to wear to a party this weekend.

I have just the dress for you.

It'll never fit.

What? Well, I'm all the nerve.

Now this dress was made for you.

Oh, I like it very much.

So do I.

Perhaps you should try it on.

Sure.

Well? Magnifico.

You look absolutely

delicious.

You're going to have every guy at that party on his knees for you.

Really? Baby.

Works for me.

It works?

Yeah.

Thank you so much for shopping at the Glamour Garage, Ms... Claudia.

Claudia.

Come again, Claudia.

Thank you.

I want it.

You want what?

The dress.

I've decided I want it back.

What dress?

Oh, that dress.

Yeah, the dress I said that once belonged to me.

Yeah, well, I'm afraid it's already been bought.

Bought? I only left 15 minutes ago.

Excuse me.

I last far longer than 15 minutes.

What?

Never mind.

Look, I got a whole rack full of dresses right over there.

No, it's that dress.

That dress worked every time.

Pardon me?

Men seem to love that dress.

Well, sorry.

That's okay.

Let somebody else have some fun.

Come on in.

Hi. Hi, how are you?

Good morning.

You're the first to arrive.

What are you buying?

A dress.

A dress?

Let me see it.

Oh.

It is pretty sexy.

It works.

It works?

Claudia, you just bought it.

The salesman?

You are so handsome.

Hi, Tammy.

Hello. How are you?

Fine. As usual, I got stuck on the freeway.

Oh, you know what? Actually, I should have had Lena call.

Lena? That's probably a good idea.

Oh, hi, Claudia. Hi, Tommy.

You call Shea Helene and tell them to hold our table. We're running a little

bit late. Okay, thanks.

Claudia has been showing me a new dress.

Oh, let me see.

Oh, my God.

That looks just like a dress I had once. I swear, this looks just like a dress I

had once.

It even has a little stain on it.

You know...

I always thought it was strange a guy I was dating gave me a dress that already

had a stain on it.

I did not notice the stain.

I can't imagine why.

I cannot believe this. I've got to try it on. Do you mind?

No, it's all right.

Fine.

Debbie,

hi. Hi. Come on in.

Hi, Claudia.

I'm sorry I'm late.

I just had the most frustrating thing happen to me. What happened?

Well, I went to Glamour Garage to find something nice to wear.

I walked up in there.

Oh, you were?

There was a dress there. It used to be mine.

Yours?

Yes. Well, I knew because it had the same spot that I got on it. I left it at

some guy's house that I was dating. We got in a huge fight. I stormed out, and

I left a few things in his closet, including that dress.

Why don't you get it back?

He turned out to be such a jerk. I didn't want anything around me that

reminded me of him.

But sometimes when I think about the first time we were together, he couldn't

keep his hands off me.

He seemed to know all the right moves.

You know, I sometimes wonder if it was that dress.

I'd like to find a dress like that.

It's still safe.

How did you get that dress?

Claudia bought it.

Claudia? Yes?

Is it me, or is this all very confusing?

That was my dress. Your dress?

Yes, I left it at that guy's house I was dating.

This can't be your dress. I got it as a gift from a guy that I was dating.

Now, look, unless it's a one-of-a-kind girl, I'm sure there are a few of these

floating around.

Now, look, there's a stain that I got on it.

You got on it?

Right there on the hem.

That no-good, rotten bum.

He told me he got it just for me.

Who? Nigel.

Nigel Chester?

Yeah. That was my dress. Your dress?

Yes, I left it there. What were you doing there?

I was dating him.

Yeah, obviously before I was.

So you were dating Nigel Chester, too?

I thought it was more than just dating.

He led me to believe I was the only one.

The ultimate woman, to be exact.

He called you the ultimate woman? That wasn't your salesman, was it? No

salesman. I'm a big shot CEO.

That's how he can get away with all this shit.

Tell me, what else did he call you?

Well, let's see. I was the black widow.

And he got caught in your web.

Yep. And I suppose he didn't want to have sex with you on the first date.

I just cannot believe this. Well, you got it handed to him. It seems it

worked. It worked.

Well, at least we fell for the same jerk.

Tell me, what else did he say?

It's becoming very amusing.

Well, we had this incredible dinner.

Naturally. And then he told me...

Let's go back to his place because he has this gorgeous dress he wants to give

to me. My dress?

I'm not crazy. It's even worse than I thought.

So, after I put on your dress, he leaves me by the hand under a waterfall by his

pool, takes me in his arms, and kisses me.

Oh, this is incredible.

Oh, then we go to this little alcove with a spectacular view.

And was there cognac waiting?

Mm-hmm.

Then, he proceeds to assure me he did not bring me there to seduce me.

Sammy, I want you to know that I didn't bring you here to seduce you.

Oh, that's too bad.

I never speak with a woman on the first date.

Really?

I'll let you lead the way.

I never met a man like you, Nigel.

So, do you like the view?

Love it.

When you come over here, I'll show you a better one.

You're on.

Don't tell me. Then you thought he said...

No, I've been wrong.

What's wrong?

I shouldn't be doing this.

Why not?

I just like you too much.

I know, so why not?

Oh, well, I just only think I'm using it for sex. Do I look worried?

No, you're good enough to eat.

Baby, now you're talking my language.

Oh,

Nigel.

Sharing how a girl's like.

Oh, no.

Oh, that's good. Yes, I do.

Oh,

yes.

It's all wrong.

Oh, yes.

Oh.

Oh. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

You're going to have to return the favor, you know.

Yeah. I do like that, don't you? Uh-huh. Yeah.

I like that.

Yeah. Do you like it when a girl puts her mouth on you?

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, yes.

Oh.

Mm-hmm. Yes.

Yes, I noticed the mirrors.

Mm-hmm.

No, I like watching guys do that. You do? It's sexy, yeah.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Oh.

Oh.

You could do this for a minute.

Yeah, I can't wait to do it.

It's cold. It's cold.

Don't get hot enough.

Don't you worry.

Dressed for the occasion.

That's me?

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh,

yeah.

That was something special.

You were incredible.

Oh, man.

And that's how it happened.

Boy, he was a good lover.

Obviously, he got to practice a lot.

Sorry.

I could use a dress like that.

Seemed to have worked for Claudia.

Claudia?

You know, I've been on three dates with Stuart, and he still hasn't tried to get

me into bed. Maybe he's waiting for you to lead the way.

Well, maybe I can start with that dress.

Claudia, do you mind?

No, I don't mind.

Great, thanks.

Come on, let's get going. I'm starving.

Can I change first?

Oh, please.

Lena?

Oh, there you are, Lena.

Lena, make sure that the messengers pick up my manuscript by three.

Okay. And if that guy ever shows up to interview for the part, just tell him he

blew it because he was so late, okay? All right.

Oh, golly, I feel more like myself now.

So tell me, how did you lose the dress?

I threw it in his face when I left. I could not stand. I had anything around

that reminded me of him.

Good luck.

Thanks.

Lena, would you hang this up for me? Sure.

Come on, let's get going.

Bye, Lena. Bye.

I'll see you later, Lena.

Enjoy.

Yeah? Hi, I'm Rod Cummings, character read for the part in Passion's Bowl.

You're awfully late, and I usually don't let latecomers read for me.

Oh, are you Lorraine Wellington?

That's Ms. Wellington to you?

Hmm, well, I don't mean to be disrespectful, Ms. Wellington.

I really am just dying to read for you.

Well, okay, come on in.

Here. Read scene four.

My assistant has gone for the day, so I'll be reading with you.

Oh. Sit down.

Let me know when you're ready.

I'm ready.

I shouldn't have come here.

Don't worry. I won't hurt you.

You mean you won't hurt my flesh or you won't hurt my heart?

Neither. Don't lose it.

Why not?

Because I can't resist.

Neither should you.

You're off a good run.

Let's keep going.

Because Billy, one of us has to keep us from being foolish.

Too late.

I'm already a fool.

Don't resist anymore.

Okay.

Do you usually dress this sexy when you audition people, Ms. Wellington?

Well, only if they're as sexy as you, Mr. Cummings.

Hmm.

It's getting a little hot.

Do you mind if I take the thaw?

Not at all.

Are you sure I should be doing this?

Oh, it's perfectly fine.

Why? You heard the casting couch, right?

I didn't know they actually existed.

They do.

this dress fits you like a glove

My, you're acrobatic.

Thank you.

Sorry.

Think about that.

I have to do this.

Looks well on tennis.

I like a woman in charge.

That's my job.

Yes, we're linked.

Oh, you better stop that now.

Why? Because.

Because what?

I just happen to have some condoms here.

You've been in charge long enough.

Thanks for reading with me, Miss Wellington.

It was a real honor.

You're welcome.

By the way, say hello to that lovely assistant of yours.

What's her name?

Lena.

Yeah, she's always so sweet when I call.

Tell her I said hello, all right?

How are you doing tonight?

Doing good. How about you? Good. You're right on time.

Oh, you know me.

Would you like a drink, Corey Lee? Sure.

Ah, you remembered.

Cheers.

Cheers. It's nice.

Where'd you get that dress?

Why?

You look like one of Divine Brown's friends.

Excuse me?

What'd you do?

Steal it from some street hooker?

Actually, I wore it to try to get a rise out of you. Oh, low blow.

Look, you know how much I love the wholesome woman in you.

Wholesome?

What, am I Doris Day?

Look, we may run into some of my clients tonight, right? And they're just a

little bit uptight.

Oh. Unlike you.

Can we just put something else on?

No.

No?

No.

What do I have to do? Take it off myself?

If you'd like to try.

Is that a challenge?

Yeah. I'm very strong.

All the more fun.

Come on.

You want to play, do you?

You want to be the bad girl? You want to play with the big bad bear?

Oh, headbutt for the head.

Come on.

Oh,

I got you now. I told you I was drunk.

You were drunk.

You want to take it off?

Come on, take it off. Come on.

You know what you need?

You know what you need? You need a spanking.

You need a bad, bad spanking.

And I'm going to give it to you.

My dress is still on. I see.

Come on.

Get up.

No, it's not for you. Take your shirt off.

Gee, it's easier than I thought. Come on.

Come on.

You love this dress? You can hang on to it.

You didn't take it off. Put it back on.

No.

Here, see what you can get for this.

This woman I'm dating worked for me last night.

I hate it.

Oh, I may have sold it to her.

A beautiful Italian girl?

No, beautiful redhead.

May I help you with something?

Yes. I'm looking for a very sexy dress.

It's Italian, huh? Si.

Well, perhaps I could interest you in this one.