All language subtitles for A.P.Bio.S01E04.720p.AMZN.WEBRip.x264-GalaxyTV_GalaxyTV - small excellence!_track2_[eng]

.

- The bat is now contained,
but still very much alive.

Human movement and noise
tends to agitate the animal.

It will not bite the skin,

but it will aggressively
attack the eyes.

So please do not use the
bathroom beside room number--

- All right, everybody,
get out your lunches.

Quickly. Come on. Let's go.
My local bagel shop

decided to take the morning
off, so I'm starving.

Come on. I need to see
what Mommy packed.

- No, no, no, no, no.

That is such an annoying word.
Don't--don't do that.

Now, get
back of the class, Marcus.

- Yes, I'm serious.

Go, now.

Just, I can't--

I can't do it
with you today, man.

Too hungry.

Naw, that's not gonna work.
Turn your desk around.

I can't look at your face.
I just can't.

- "Hangry" means horny
and angry.

Basically, you're so horny
that you're angry.

- All right, that's still
not working for me.

See that leak right there?

Try and get ya
under that leak.

All right? Get your body
under that leak.

Not the desk.
Your body.

Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh!
That's perfect.

There we go. Now...

if none of you are willing
to share your snacks with me...

then I'm off
to the vending machine

for a little dose of C-13:

Cape Cod Salt and Vinegar
potato chips.

Have you guys had 'em?
Yum!

Oh, and if Marcus moves,

you all get detention.

[Ramones'
"Listen to My Heart"]

- One, two, three, four!

- * Next time
I'll listen to my heart *

* Next time,
well, I'll be smart *

*

*

That's not what C-13 is.

Hey, Ralph, Ralph,
Ralph.

Come here, man.
Hey,

What the hell's
going on around here?

- Oh, well, um...
between us,

a moth laid eggs

in the auditorium curtain.
Now, they hatched...

- Mm-hmm.
- Now there's moths in the air.

What loves moths?
Bats...all right?

And I mean bats...plural.

- I don't care. That's not
what I'm talking about.

Where are my chips?
What is this?

- Oh! The student council
is responsible

for what goes
in the snack machine,

and they're doing this
really cool thing right now

called Healthy Habits.

- Okay, tell me,
what's your day lookin' like?

Pretty light?
- Puhh. Very busy.

- Okay. Gonna need you
to shuffle some things around,

make getting my chips back
your number one.

- No, Jack. You do not
wanna get involved

with the student council.
'Kay? I-i-it's the most

toxically ambitious group
of students

all together in one room.

Come on, Ralph,
you're telling me

you're gonna be
intimidated by a group

of overachieving virgins?

- Yes.

[percussive suspenseful
music]

*

All right.

Ah, good. Grace! Hi.

Just the person
I wanted to speak to. Hey.

I'm gonna need you to get
my salt and vinegar chips

back in the vending
machines.

- Oh. I'm just the secretary.

I take notes.
I count votes during elections.

If you wanna change
a policy,

you need to talk to
the president.

Ugh.
All right, fine.

Who's the president?

- You may take your seats.

Let's get this baby started.

- You gotta be kidding me.

Tssss.
- Mr. Griffin,

you are more than welcome
to take a seat in the back.

- That's cute.
Why don't we skip to the part

where I get what I want--
namely chips--

back in the vending machines?

- Hmm. Well, unfortunately,

we do have a little bit
of an agenda.

First up on the list
is the discussion

of our new rooftop garden...

which I can confirm will be
generously sponsored

by Kasperak Motors.

Turns out, I had a connection.

It's a joke.
They're my parents.

- You guys actually listen
to him?

- Hey, I have a mandate
from the student body.

I was elected in a landslide
over Scottie Deeks.

And he plays football.
- Yeah, well, I'm guessing

Scottie Deeks
sucks pretty hard.

All right, talk about
your stupid garden.

Go. Hurry.
- Thank you.

Now, on to the selection
of vegetables.

And you know what?
I think we should vote on them

one by one, alphabetically.

Starting with alfalfa.

All in favor.
all: Aye.

- Wow. Unanimous for alfalfa.

Absolutely wonderful.
Next up will be...

buh, buh, buh, buh, buh.

You know what?
I...completely lost my place.

Grace, can you read back
the alfalfa results, please?

- No. Hold on a second.
Chips. Okay?

Why don't we do chips,
all right?

I'm an adult,
and I want chips,

so I get chips.
- Oh, my G--

Oh, I know
what's going on here.

This isn't about chips at all.
What?

- Fired from Harvard,
stuck in Toledo,

and these chips are just one
more thing you can't control.

All agreed?
all: Aye.

- Don't vote on that!
- Let's put an end to this

right now.
All in favor of restoring

Salt and vinegar chips
to the vending machine...

Victor.

Wow. Motion denied.

Sorry, Mr. Griffin.

- Okay.

Yeah, all right.

- Bye!

.

- Now, you would agree
that looking good

also helps with feeling good?

- I suppose.
- And you would also agree

that more radiant skin

is preferable
to less radiant skin.

- That's hard to argue with.

- Then we agree!
Now,

you are trying the shimmering
skin perfector.

Mmm. Look at those undertones.
All right?

Now, that is peaches
and cream!

Okay? Oh!
And is that the hand

of a teenage supermodel?

- Seems kinda young
to be a supermodel.

- Look at that. Mm-mm.
So I'm gonna suggest

a six-month supply
of the perfector, okay?

along with the stain
and the concealer

and the rejuvenating serum.

Sounds good?

Yeah.
Yes.

- Yes. Ooh!
Hold that thought,

because pale Jennifer
is a gold mine.

I'll just need your orders
by the end of the week.

Jennifer,
hold on a minute!

Jennifer!
- Why is it so terrifying

to say no to her?
Every time Stef

get a new side hustle,
we end up spending money.

And you know I'm trying
to save up for that houseboat.

- We have to stand up
to her.

I've not cut a single
penny in half

with those scissors
she sold me.

That's just not a need
I have.

- Okay. Everyone
shut up immediately!

Today we're starting
a new revenge mission.

Our target...

boom.

- Oy vey.
- Out!

Go to the principal's
office right now.

You, too, you sycophantic
minions.

- But we...we didn't
do anything.

I think ya did.
Ha ha ha.

Think you did, yeah.

Yeah, hey, Durbin.
I gotta send three kids

to your office right now.

Why? They were kissing
each other.

Yeah! All three of 'em were
just sitting here

doing kissing right here
in the middle of the classroom.

It was crazy.
I couldn't believe it.

Anyway, it was gross.
Here they come.

Out!

Yep.

Have fun explaining that.

- He must have
struck out last night.

He's hangry as hell.

- Now, as you
may have heard,

Marcus refuses
to bring back my chips.

So our mission is to replace
Marcus Kasperak

as student council president.

- Can't you just buy chips
at the store?

- Well, it's not about
chips anymore, Sarika.

This is about principle, okay?

And it is a little bit
about the chips.

I do love chips, you know?
It's about 60...40,

principle to chips
at this point for me.

- I get it.
- Yeah. Heather gets it.

Thank you, Heather. So I read
the student council bylaws.

We only need 200 signatures
to recall Marcus

and replace him
with a new candidate.

So today we're gonna be
choosing that new candidate.

- This seems like
an overreaction.

- All right, well,
Sarika's eliminated.

So I wanna hear you guys
pitch yourselves,

campaign-style.
Anthony, you start.

- If I was president,

I'd make all the dances at Prom
slow dances.

If I'm paying 20 bucks,
I wanna feel a body.

- There ya go.
Good point.

Okay, who's next?
Colin.

- I don't know
if I'm the right choice.

There's a pretty damning
video out there

of me blowing out another
kid's birthday candles.

I got excited.
- 'Kay.

Anybody else have any
skeletons in their closet?

- I shoplift magazines
to feel alive.

Getting caught's the fun part.

Look, Why don't we

skip past this and just
move on to the person

with the most charisma.

Dan Decker, you in?
Yeah.

I mean, I actually did
student council

back I Florida,
so I'd love to--

- Blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah--yeah, okay.

Don't ruin it.
All right. Uh, guys...

Dan Decker's our candidate.

Let's go out and let's
get those signatures, okay?

Pass those down.
I want you to be subtle.

But I want you to be efficient.

With each passing minute,
my chips get staler and staler.

- And, o-of course,
sexuality can be...

expressed in so many
different forms

and permutations.

I mean, David Bowie--

- Absolutely! Yes.

Okay. I'm gonna let you guys
off with a warning.

So, uh, thank you.

Okay. Yes, it's true.

Some of the bats have
gotten into some of the vents.

Eew. No.

We need to talk
about Stef.

*

- Look, there is a rule

against soliciting
on school grounds.

Are you guys hearing
this nonsense?

- I am,
and I'm shocked by it.

- Screw you, Durbin.

Well, it is a rule,

and I'm gonna have to

ask you to stop.

- Mm-hmm. Durbs, um,
you would agree that,

as a teacher,
I don't make a lot of money.

- No. Not nearly
what you deserve.

- Mm-hmm. And you would
agree that

I should be able
to retire one day?

Or would you prefer
that I die working?

- No. I want you to die
somewhere fun.

- Then we're agreed.
You know what?

I'm so glad

you're on my side
with this one.

You're one of
the good ones, dirty, okay?

Oh, and ladies,
don't forget those orders.

Yeah.

*

- Thought this was supposed to
be a rooftop garden.

- Apparently,
the weight of the soil

would have made
the gym roof collapse.

We almost killed
a lot of people--

- Victor. Mulch.

- I gotta mulch.

- Hey, Jack.

You know, I saw the most
curious thing yesterday--

Dan Decker chatting up
the Spanish Club.

At first, I was...
very confused.

And then I realized
what he was doing.

Courting the Latino vote.

- I think that club's
mostly white kids.

- Victor, shut up!

Anyway, I passed
an emergency resolution.

To replace the president, it
now requires 10,000 signatures.

Sorry, Jack.

- Mark my words,
you soulless taint.

I will take you down.
You'll be out of office

before you see a single
precious tomato grow.

Or sooner. Depending on
how long it takes

tomatoes to grow.

- Well, depends on the size
and the soil.

By the way, we had to
find a place

for some gardening supplies.

Might make parking
a little bit of a mess.

See ya, Jack.

*

.

- [speaking foreign
language]

- It's over, Dan.
Marcus sniffed you out.

Pulled some midnight
procedural bullcrap.

And I was left bribing some
homeless guy to move his fort

so I could park
in the street.

- Yeah, his house, his tent.

What
Look, time to move to plan B.

Where can I buy some cocaine
to plant in Marcus's locker?

Don't lie.
- Okay, this whole thing

seems like an insane
overreaction

to missing out on some
salt and vinegar chips.

- This has moved
far beyond chips, okay?

This is personal!
- So you don't care

about the chips.

I care about the chips
a little.

It's about 90-10,
Marcus-chips.

- Oh, there you are. Hey.

Did you park out front?
- Yeah.

- It's street cleaning.
They just towed your car.

They towed my ca--

Ohh...okay. Student council's
outta control.

You gotta do something!
- No, no, no.

I told you, I don't want
no part of this, all right?

- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Is that Scottie Deeks?

That's the kid Marcus beat
for Student Council President?

Yeah.
That kid rocks.

- This school makes no sense.

Hello?
Is this

Jack Griffin?

- Marcus's election.
It was rigged.

And why are you singing?
- It's an Auto-Tune app.

Marcus has to be stopped.

Just follow the car.

Wh

Who is this?
- Get your dang gym clothes on!

You're not skippin' soccer
again!

- But my stomach
is cramping.

- You are not on your period.
That only works for girls!

- Follow the car!

*

Follow the car.

Follow the car.

Follow the--

Hey, Michelle.

- I like the quiet.

[suspenseful music
continues]

- All right.

*

*

*

- Hey, Grace.

- Ha ha.
Hey, quick question.

Uh...you wanna tell me
how you got this car?

- Uh...

- The garden has been planted.

And what grows?

My legacy.

- All right, everybody.

Quiet down,
and all eyes on me.

- You know what, Mr. Griffin,
I have to say,

these interruptions are getting
a little bit ridiculous.

- Yeah. You know what I think
is ridiculous?

The fact that anybody thought

you could beat dreamboat
Scottie Deeks

in a popularity contest.

You see, Marcus knew

he was gonna lose the election,

so he had his parents
bribe the vote counter--

my girl Grace here--

with a brand-new car
from the family dealership.

Isn't that right?

And what did Grace do?
Well...

Grace, being a good
little solider...

she fixed the election votes.

Here is Grace's tally
of the actual votes.

Marcus didn't just lose.

Man... he got
absolutely crushed!

We got a whopping 426 votes

for Scottie Deeks.

Wow. We got a concerning
32 votes

for murderer Robert Durst.

I don't know what
that was all about.

And a very sad and pathetic
19 votes for Marcus.

Whoopsie-daisies!

Grace, is that true?

- Ah...

- Um, effective immediately,

I am retiring from...

public service, so...

I'll see some of you
in chemistry.

- Oh, no! Oh, I--
Oh, no, I thought he knew!

I thought the whole--

I thought he knew!

You know,

I-I have been told
that sometimes I...

overreact.

.

- Beautiful house.
- Oh, thank you.

- I appreciate you
letting me come over

and speak to...
I, uh...

guess I owned your son
pretty hard today.

- Please. I'm so ashamed
of what we've done.

- Yeah. It was...
pretty psychotic.

To get our little

superstar elected
high school president? Ha.

Probably.
- Hmm.

Kinda seems like
you're not that ashamed.

I'm gonna go talk to him.
- Please.

Could you do me
one huge favor?

Tell him he won
the election.

- I'm not doing that.

Oh, my God.

Oh, God.

*

- * Where could I start

- Whoa! Hey, uh...

mind tossing this shirt on?

Getting a pretty wicked glare
off your back there, bud.

Uh...

Listen, we--we mighta
let this situation

get a little outta hand,
you know.

Blame shared equally,
of course.

Maybe...70-30, you.
I mean...

let's be honest.

You, uh...
wanna talk about it?

- When I won the election,
I just thought

people were finally
starting to like me.

I don't want you to tell me
that people actually do like me

or that none of this matters
'cause it's just high school

or anything like that.
- Oh, no, no, no, it matters.

It matters.
It's a serious problem for you.

You get in people's
business,

tell 'em what
they're doing wrong.

It's just no good. Nobody
wants to hear that stuff.

Come on, you gotta think
more about how you come off.

But, look, it's not
entirely your fault.

I mean, you've clearly been
sheltered

by adoring parents,
you know?

Normally, this sort of
obnoxiousness

would have been wedgied
or swirlied out of you.

Who's been bullying you?

- Nobody.

- Huh. Well, you know,

if it helps,
I could...I could bully you.

You know,
nothing physical.

Just...burns, barbs,
you know.

Light verbal stuff.

- Isn't that
what you already do?

- Largely, yes, but in
this particular case,

the intention would be
slightly more noble.

- Yeah.

That'd be nice.

- All right.

I don't do that.

- Okay.

- Ow. It's hurting!
- Really scratch it.

- I know, hurry, hurry.
Here she comes!

- So...

you beauties ready to

finalize your orders?
- Yep.

I got my list right here.

- Whoa! Isn't this rash
right where you tried

Stef's make
- Ooh...

- Oh, my God!
I have one too!

- Oh, no, I guess we can't buy

any of your makeup anymore
ever! I'm so sad!

- Hey, hey, no, no, no.
Don't be sad.

Not when you can buy
this amazing concealer

that will cover that right up.

- Damn it, Stef! These are
obviously fake rashes.

We were trying to get out of
buying your make up.

- Oh, no.

I think mine's turning real.

- Listen, girl,
we wanna support you,

but we all make the same
amount of money.

I've been wearing the same
monthly contacts

for the past two years.

I guess we were just worried
that if we said no,

you were gonna get
really mad at us.

- Well, I'm not mad.
I'm just sad

that you feel like
you couldn't be honest.

Look...I don't know,

I thought this would
be a good way

to make some extra dough.

And I really did think
it looked good.

- No, no, no,
it did look good.

- I don't know,
I guess I just...

feel like a smoother
complexion

can sometimes have
both personal

and professional benefits.

- Yep! I'm back in.

- No! Stef, damn!
You're relentless!

- Okay. I'm sorry.

I guess I just gotta
find out what to do with

$300 worth of beauty products.

- Hmm...

- Long story short,
the bats have been trapped

with only one confirmed bite.

So get well soon,
Mrs. Denunzio.

- Talk about handsome!

- The contouring's incredible.

- He honestly
looks insane.

- Books back up
on the shelves.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Lastly, I'd like to
congratulate

the awesome Scottie Deeks

as our new
Student Council President.

And--Oh, disgraced former
president Marcus Kasperak

has accepted the position
of parliamentarian,

so...beware,
recalcitrant legislators.

- Seems like
an unnecessary position.

But congrats.

- I'm actually excited,
you know.

It's perfect for
a policy wonk like me.

By the way, I, um...

Brought you these.

- Wow. Now, see,
this is likeable behavior.

- Don't you think your
compulsive snacking

belies some kinda
unaddressed anxiety that--

Right.
Back of the room.

- Yeah.
- Got it.

Much appreciated.

- * Oh, oh, oh