Original subtitles

All done.

Dinner was delicious.

I don't believe you finished your Lima beans.

I'm an adult and most of mine are in my napkin.

What can I say? I love Lima beans.

Are you sure you didn't make them magically disappear?

Aunt Zelda, I'm offended

you would even ask me that question.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll clear.

A kid who likes Lima beans?

Being a witch is just the tip of her weirdness.

There's still something fishy.

Did you notice how she dodged my question?

Oh, come on. Sabrina's not that cagey.

There's only one way to find out.

Remember that spell mom used to cast

to make sure we'd eaten our vegetables?

Oh, I hated that spell.

Hate what spell?

This.

What's that all about?

A spell to bring back any Lima beans

you may have made disappear.

What?

Get down!

[ Sighs]

I told you I hated that spell.

I'm gona go ride my pig. I mean, hog.

Ah, there!

What am I looking for again?

The Olympus mons.

It's the largest mountain

in the solar system.

I see a little bump.

Now can we spy on the neighbors?

No!

Now, that little bump

happens to be the best skiing on Mars.

That's where we're going

for our winter vacation.

We're going to Mars?

It's a trek, but it's worth it.

You'll love the red planet.

It's so pretty, and the sky is pink.

So what are the martians like?

Martians?

Aren't there martians?

No. Geez, Sabrina.

Get in touch with reality.

Teacher: So, Louis the xiv

was succeeded by another Louis who was known as...?

Any guesses?

Okay. I see winter break has already started.

Well, I can't let you go before the bell

so just try to keep it quiet.

Hey, Sabrina.

Louis xv.

No... what are you doing over vacation?

Oh, I'm going skiing with my aunts.

Out west?

Actually... north.

How about you?

I'll be here.

In fact, I was hoping

you'd be here, too

so maybe we could do stuff.

Really? I wish I had known.

I love doing stuff!

This trip's not going to be any fun.

I mean, I don't even know how to ski.

You could take lessons.

Oh, great.

So I get to study on my vacation.

Come on.

You'll have a blast

and I'll see you in... Five days?

Six.

Man! Six days.

Well, I better go catch my bus.

I guess this is it.

See ya.

Bye.

Oh, wow!

I just don't understand

why other kids get to stay home

and I have to go on a ski vacation.

You were excited about it last night.

Yeah, a lot's changed since then.

I mean, just today

Harvey asked me if I wanted to do stuff.

There'll be stuff left to do when we get back.

Why don't you guys go

and I'll stay home with Salem?

Hey, the whole point of a family vacation

is so I can get a vacation from the family.

Please!

I need some down time.

It's not up for discussion.

You're going and that's that.

Fine.

I'll go to Mars, but I won't have any fun.

Do what you want

but I think you're overreacting.

I mean, it's not like you're never going

to see Harvey ever again.

[ Gasps]

Here he is now.

Don't you love when things like that

happen in real life?

Hey. Hi.

I hope it's okay I stopped by.

Sure. Your timing's perfect.

My aunts were just about to take naps.

Oh... right.

Oh, so tired.

I hope I can make it up the stairs.

[ Feet pounding up stairs]

Come on in.

So, what's up?

I'm not going to waste

your time with small talk.

You're going skiing and you can't afford

to lose your mittens so I got you these.

They're called "mitten minders."

You string them through your jacket.

My little brother swears by them.

That's so thoughtful... And stretchy.

Thanks.

Anyway, I got to get the car back to my mom.

Hey... maybe I could call you from the lodge

and let you know how the minton minders are working.

Really?

I'd like that.

I'd like that a lot.

When should I call?

Tonight around 9:00?

Okay.okay.

Um, creak.

Oh, these old homes are so creaky.

Well, you'd better get going.

Yeah. Have a great trip.

Thanks again.

You're welcome.

Bye.

See ya.

Sorry.

Got caught up in the moment.

Come on, Sabrina.

Mars is waiting.

I'm coming.

Is that all you're bringing?

We've got these.

Now, Salem, you have the number of the lodge in case you need to reach us.

We left you plenty of food.

Don't eat it all in one day.

Oh, right, I forgot.

I'm an animal.

I have no self-control.

No parties while we're gone.

I'll cancel the black and white ball

well, then, I guess we're off.

Whoo-hoo.

Bye. Have fun.

Miss you.

A party.

Why didn't I think of that?

Watch your step.

These stairs are a little icy.

The whole lodge is a little icy.

Isn't it beautiful?

And it's the perfect time of year.

At the end of the season, the rooms get a little slushy.

What's that?

A volcano.

Whoo! Thar she blows!

I'll get an energy bar

then I think I'll hit the slopes.

I think I'll hit the couch.

Aren't you going skiing?

Oh, I don't ski. I lodge.

All I need is a stack of magazines...

And some catalogues

and Tolstoy's classic: War and peace.

I think I'll read that last.

When does the "family" part of this family vacation begin?

We'll all meet for dinner.

What am I suppose to do until then?

Well, we thought you'd want to hang out

with people your own age.

All the people my age are on another planet.

I'm calling Harvey.

Oh, you can't.

Mars is in a time zone

that's so far ahead of earth

it's still yesterday there.

If you call Harvey, he'll explode.

This stinks.

I'm going to my room.

[ Sighs]

She'll find the toblerone

in the mini-bar and be fine.

Well, enjoy your day.

Enjoy yours.

Ya-hoo!

Whoa!

Wow! I love this planet!

Oh, what a day.

I'm exhausted.

Read me war and peace.

Morning.

You going skiing again?

Yes. Are you reading magazines again?

Not today. I thought I'd take it easy.

Morning.

Did you sleep all right?

I slept fine.

Only problem was I woke up here.

Cheer up.

I promise today will be more fun.

I'm going to get you a ski lesson.

Don't bother.

My day's mapped out.

I'm analyzing you guys in my journal until 9:00

and then I'm calling Harvey.

I'll be by the phones.

There's no sign of the policyholder yet

but I will not rest until said policyholder has been found.

Now, I plan...

I can't talk.

There's somebody here.

Um, okay, good-bye.

I love you.

No, I just said that to throw them off.

Yeah, you hang up.

Okay, it's all yours.

Thanks, but I won't be using it

for another 12 hours.

Really?

How very interesting.

February 5... again.

Are you Sabrina?

Yeah, but I'm kind of busy

so if you wouldn't mind waiting

till I'm finished.

Period... done. What did you want?

My name is Doug.

Your aunt Zelda just arranged for me to give you a ski lesson

but she said you might not be up for it.

I don't know where she got that idea.

I mean, when in Mars...

I will be back in 12 hours, won't I?

Unless you're really uncoordinated.

Oh, then, let's go.

[ Clears throat]

Excuse me, uh...

Do you mind if I sit over there?

Sure. It's a free planet.

Thank you.

[ Grunting]

Ah... Whoo!

I couldn't help but notice you

from across the room, there.

My name is Warren.

I'm a very successful insurance salesman

and I am on an expense account

you would not believe.

Oh, please.

You lodge lizards are all alike.

Look, we can chat, but not if you spend

the next four days making up stories just to impress me.

Oh, I... Let's make a pact.

For once, two strangers meeting on vacation

will be completely honest with each other.

Okay?

Okay. You got it.

Great.

I'm a secret agent.

What?

I'm here to sniff out

a counter-operative.

You're not it, are you?

No.

Good. I'd hate to have to kill you.

[ Laughing]

So...

Are you married?

What do I do?

I've never skied before.

Ah, you'll be great.

All set.

You can ski.

Just like that?

It's a short lesson

but pretty expensive.

Let's go.

Follow me.

Hey, wait up.

You're going too fast.

I'm new at this.

How do I stop again?

How you doing back there?

I'm doing fine!

So let me get this straight.

Your mission is to bring down Dr. Cyclops

who, through his ring of operatives

is trying to destabilize the balinese government.

Yeah, plus there's some unbelievable stuff

I just can't tell you.

What kind of doctor isdr. Cyclops...

A psychiatrist?

No. He's not really a doctor.

He may have a Ph.D.

But Dr. Cyclops is just his code name...

And he hates it.

Where are all your clever spy gadgets?

Well, check out this baby.

A toothpick.

A poisoned toothpick.

Perfect, especially if Dr. Cyclops

just had corn on the cob.

Hi, aunt hilda.

Sabrina, finally.

I thought you were only skiing for a couple hours.

I thought so too but it turns out I'm a natural.

Want some hot chocolate? Please.

Great. You're just in time for a family dinner.

Actually, Doug and I just wanted to collapse

in front of the volcano.

Then Zelda and I will have a family dinner.

Actually, we just saw her on the slopes.

I think she's night skiing.

Great.

Then I'll just have

a family dinner all by myself.

You know, I realize I'm not family...

Yet.

Uh, but I'd be happy to chow down with you.

Would you let me try your entree?

Sure.

Okay.

Here you go.

Do you take marshmallows?

The little ones.

Thanks.

This is nice.

Whoa, toasty!

You want to play cribbage?

I'd love to.

How does it work?

You don't know?

Now you do.

Great. Deal me six.

We'll play till I skunk you.

That could take a while.

I've got time.

I don't believe this

you have a talking dog?

I have a talking cat.

Really?

Don't pets make the best of friends?

You get total loyalty, unconditional love.

You've never had a cat

have you?

What's going on?

They turn the lodge

into a cheesy disco at night.

You want to dance?

Sure.

All right.

Ring.

♪ Ooha, ooha

♪ ooha, ooha

hey!

Someone has to make a science diet run.

Wait.

Did I just hear the phone?

Hello.

Hi. This is Harvey.

I know Sabrina's not home.

I thought maybe you could get a message to her.

If it's short.

I don't have anything to write with.

The message is that I'm going to sleep now

and maybe I'll talk to her tomorrow.

Got it.

Thanks.

[ Whooping]

Morning, ski-bunny.

I ache all over.

Skiing is easy, but disco is hard.

You had a message at the front desk to call Salem.

Wonder what he wants?

[ Phone rings]

Huh? Hello?

No. You didn't wake me.

I was just... reading.

You were looking for me?

Yeah. Harvey called last night

and asked me to tell you he was going to sleep.

Weird.

I wonder what...

Oh, my god, I totally forgot!

I got to go.

You're welcome.

I am such a jerk.

[ Sighs]

Hello?

Hey, Sabrina.

I'm sosorry

I didn't call last night.

I... I must be on Mars or something.

Hey, don't worry.

I wasn't like waiting by the phone.

So, did you lose your mittens?

No. Thanks to the mitten minders my mittens were minded.

Hey, Sabrina...

Oh, you're on the phone.

Yeah. I'll be off in a sec.

Who was that?

My ski instructor.

Oh, cool, you took lessons.

Do you like your teacher?

Yeah. He's... fine.

It sounds like you're having fun.

Hey, I got all new socks and two new shirts yesterday.

That's great.

I can't wait to see them.

Okay. Bye.

Aunt Zelda...

Aunt Zelda!

What a pleasant surprise.

Surprise? I've been skiing behind you

for the past five miles screaming your name.

What's going on?

I have a very, very serious problem.

Doug asked me to go on a picnic with him tonight.

Well... seriously, that sounds like fun.

But I'm not supposed to be having fun.

Why not?

Because I promised myself I wouldn't

and then I met Doug, and now I'm all confused.

I mean, how can I like Doug when I like Harvey?

Sabrina, you're very young

and odds are, over the next ten years

you will meet and like many different boys.

Thank you for that sweeping generality

but what do I do about tonight?

Do you want to go?

Yeah, but I'm worried

it would hurt Harvey's feelings.

Well, then you have to weigh your desire to go

versus your desire not to hurt Harvey.

Or I could go, and Harvey will never find out.

Bad idea.

Relationships are hard enough

when you're honest.

You start hiding things, you're taking a risk.

But it's your choice.

I can't make the decision for you.

Are you sure?

It would really help me out.

Ah!

Oh, you're back.

I made it all the way down Olympus mons.

It was spectacular.

Oh! You should have used more sun block.

Enemy transmissions

are definitely coming from some...

[ Yells]

Ooh.

Who's she?

My sister.

Who are you?

Warren, he's a...

Insurance salesman.

Are you covered?

Just kidding.

Okay let's go to the family dinner.

Shouldn't we wait for Sabrina?

Who's Doug? She went with Doug.

Her ski instructor.

I hope she made the right decision.

Here we are.

Wow. Picnic in a crater.

Oh, it's not just a crater.

It's the best crater on the planet.

Mars is so cool.

You're lucky you get to live here all the time.

Ah, it's not that much fun.

After the season's over

it's just a lot of witch townies.

Well, I love it.

It's so different and exotic.

Ham sandwich?

Sure.

Both moons are really beautiful tonight.

Yeah.

Hey, there's the Mars probe!

Smile.

Are you cold?

No. I'm all right.

Are you sure? 'Cause I could put my arm around you.

That's okay.

I can just... Put my arms around myself.

I'm sensing you feel uncomfortable being here.

Should I walk you back to the lodge?

No... no. I'm enjoying this.

Really? Yeah.

Well, I'm glad...

'Cause I like you, Sabrina.

I like you, too.

What are you doing?

I was going to kiss you.

Kiss me?

Well... I don't even know you that well.

I mean, it hardly seems right to kiss someone

when you haven't even shaken hands.

All right.

You want to shake?

Okay.

Now can I kiss you?

I don't think so.

Why not?

It's your handshake.

No offense, but... I've had better.

That's not fair... We had gloves on.

Give me another chance.

Okay.

Now this time...

I'm really going to mean it.

Uh-uh.

Geez!

Look, it's not your fault.

There's a guy back on earth named Harvey, and...

Well, when I shake his hand, I feel all tingly

and when I shake yours, well...

Frankly, it's a little sweaty.

It is not.

I'm sorry, but I have to be honest.

So, um...

You want to go back to the lodge?

Nah. We can finish our picnic.

I mean, we're still friends, right?

Of course.

Friends.

Anything?

Sorry.

[ Sighs]

We'll be back around 5:00.

Can you come by?

Great.

Sabrina, we have to go.

That's weird.

Warren said he'd be down to say good-bye.

Maybe he was captured by the evil agents

from allstate.

I knew I shouldn't have told you.

He lied about everything.

He was very entertaining, so that makes it okay.

All set.

Hilda? Hilda!

I was instructed

to abort my mission immediately, but...

I couldn't leave without saying good-bye.

That's so sweet.

Now, look, we don't have much time, so, here.

Give me your telephone number.

Ah...

Oh! geez, not with that.

That's my vaporizing gun.

Okay, here... Use a ball-point.

You just never give up.

There you go.

I'll call you.

[ Grinding]

Did you hear that?

What an odd noise.

Oh... oh, no!

What's going on?

Oh, uh... this is the work of Dr. Cyclops!

She reallyknows how to pick 'em.

[ Groaning]: I-I'll always remember you, hilda!

Oh, unless they remove my brain!

I don't believe it.

I guess he really was a secret agent.

Apparently, not a very good one.

But he told the truth.

That's amazing.

And very heart-warming.

If he ever escapes, you can bet he'll call.

Yeah. Oh, I just wish

I'd given him my real phone number.

Fluffy. Fluffy!

Wake up, they'll be back any minute!

Salem!

Someone brought catnip.

I swear I had nothing to do with it.

You are so lucky Harvey's here.

Now, clean this up, and...

Crack a window.

[ Pathetically crying]: Oh, my head!

[ Buzzer]

You're back.

Yeah, hi.

Hey, new shirt.

And check out the socks.

Nice.

Let's go show 'em off at the slicery.

Actually... come on in.

We need to talk.

Talk?

Yeah.

You see... I want us to have

a completely honest relationship.

Okay.

And the truth is

when I was on my ski vacation

something kind of happened.

Oh?

I met this amazing guy...

You did?

But he wasn't as amazing as you.

Going out with him made me realize...

I like you better.

Okay, let's go to the slicery!

[ Sighing]: Sabrina.

Since we're being honest

I have something to tell you, too.

Really? What?

If you're ever away

and you meet somebody really amazing

but you decide you like me better...

Don't tell me.

Deal. Deal.

[ Sighs]

Wow!

No. Fellas, you got it all wrong.

Secret agent?

No, I'm an insurance salesman.

Yeah, in fact, I can prove it to you guys.

Here, let me just get my notebook out here

and I'll crunch some numbers

on a term-life policy for you.

Let's say you're a 30-year-old non-smoker

with a good job and a decent medical program

and your estimated time to die is...

Now!

In your eye, Dr. Cyclops!

[ Maniacal laughter]