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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:21,300 --> 00:00:22,980 (Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Ah, come on, lady. 2 00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:25,440 A Santa suit on a poodle, that just 3 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:27,100 demeans the dog and you. 4 00:00:27,700 --> 00:00:28,720 Mostly you. 5 00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:31,400 And the least you can do is pick 6 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:32,640 up all his little presents. 7 00:00:34,820 --> 00:00:37,000 Merry Christmas, or should I just go screw 8 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:37,440 myself? 9 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,280 Oh, relax. 10 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:43,100 I've reached a non-aggression pact with the 11 00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:43,720 holidays. 12 00:00:43,860 --> 00:00:46,040 I have absolutely no expectations. 13 00:00:46,660 --> 00:00:48,980 No expectations, no disappointments. 14 00:00:48,980 --> 00:00:50,840 Let me tell you about disappointments. 15 00:00:51,160 --> 00:00:53,120 My first Christmas at the building super, and 16 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:54,120 that one lousy tip. 17 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:55,640 I even checked out cards. 18 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:57,920 Meanwhile, look what I got back. 19 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:00,300 Fixed this, fixed that. 20 00:01:00,380 --> 00:01:01,180 Oh, and my favorite. 21 00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:03,099 Jesus is watching over me. 22 00:01:03,300 --> 00:01:04,860 I don't need Jesus watching over me. 23 00:01:04,980 --> 00:01:07,080 I need Jesus with a fistful of cash. 24 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:10,880 Isn't that the logo for the 700 Club? 25 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:13,540 As much as I hate to agree with 26 00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:14,660 you, John, I think I'm gonna have to 27 00:01:14,660 --> 00:01:16,100 pass on Christmas this year, too. 28 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:18,320 I hope you're happy, Becker. 29 00:01:18,380 --> 00:01:19,340 Now you ruined Jake. 30 00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:21,400 No, Reg, it's not John's fault. 31 00:01:21,820 --> 00:01:22,800 I mean, you know how I spend Christmas 32 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:23,760 every year with my grandma? 33 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,060 Well, this year, she's going to Atlantic City 34 00:01:26,060 --> 00:01:26,720 with her friend. 35 00:01:27,060 --> 00:01:28,240 So why don't you go with her? 36 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:29,160 Because I wasn't invited. 37 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:31,060 I mean, between them, they have a wheelchair, 38 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:33,180 a walker, and an oxygen tank, and they 39 00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:34,320 think I'll be the one in the way. 40 00:01:37,140 --> 00:01:39,200 Well, I intend on having a great Christmas. 41 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:40,060 Look at this. 42 00:01:40,260 --> 00:01:41,380 I found it in the back while I 43 00:01:41,380 --> 00:01:42,600 was defrosting a bag of omelets. 44 00:01:43,820 --> 00:01:45,200 My dad saved it for when I was 45 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:45,700 a little girl. 46 00:01:45,940 --> 00:01:47,220 It was always my favorite. 47 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:48,200 See, it's hand-painted. 48 00:01:48,980 --> 00:01:50,280 It's an angel blowing a trumpet. 49 00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:54,040 Looks more like Liberace drinking a martini. 50 00:01:56,100 --> 00:01:56,940 Very funny. 51 00:01:57,840 --> 00:01:58,900 It's one of a kind. 52 00:01:58,980 --> 00:02:00,100 It was handmade in Greece. 53 00:02:00,260 --> 00:02:01,500 Yeah, much like this sandwich. 54 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:05,780 See? 55 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,100 Now it's Christmas, and there's nothing any of 56 00:02:08,100 --> 00:02:09,220 you can say to ruin it for me. 57 00:02:14,260 --> 00:02:15,260 Oh, my angel! 58 00:02:16,540 --> 00:02:20,160 Like I said, no expectations, no disappointments. 59 00:02:27,920 --> 00:02:29,280 All right, what do we got? 60 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:31,260 And a good morning to you, too. 61 00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:32,160 Fine. 62 00:02:33,300 --> 00:02:33,780 Morning. 63 00:02:34,900 --> 00:02:36,180 Mr. Remick's in one. 64 00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:38,280 Smashed his thumb trying to put a bike 65 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:40,760 together for his son, and in two, there's 66 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,140 a Santa with a black eye. 67 00:02:42,140 --> 00:02:45,120 I-I don't care who he's with. 68 00:02:45,260 --> 00:02:46,160 What's wrong with him? 69 00:02:47,220 --> 00:02:49,120 Not a black guy. 70 00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:52,340 A black eye. 71 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:55,360 Oh. 72 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:57,420 Well, that's different, isn't it? 73 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:02,560 Hey, Margaret, did I mention that alpha looks 74 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:03,740 really great on you? 75 00:03:03,920 --> 00:03:05,180 What do you want, Linda? 76 00:03:05,500 --> 00:03:07,320 You're right, that was an obvious lie. 77 00:03:08,620 --> 00:03:10,020 Okay, here's the thing. 78 00:03:10,020 --> 00:03:12,800 My parents are coming for Christmas, and they're 79 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:15,520 gonna stop by the office, and, well, somehow, 80 00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:18,700 they got the idea that I'm the office 81 00:03:18,700 --> 00:03:20,700 manager and that you report to me. 82 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,740 You told them that? 83 00:03:25,140 --> 00:03:26,600 No, they just heard it. 84 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:30,680 They also might have heard that you're constantly 85 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:32,340 messing up and you're always late. 86 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:35,020 Oh, so they think I'm you. 87 00:03:35,420 --> 00:03:35,900 Exactly. 88 00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:38,180 So if you could just pretend to be 89 00:03:38,180 --> 00:03:40,240 me while they're here, then that would make 90 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,520 everything less confusing all the way around. 91 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:44,960 That's a perfect plan. 92 00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:46,040 No. 93 00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:49,920 Please, Margaret, I really want to impress my 94 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:50,440 parents. 95 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:53,440 You have no idea how disappointed they are 96 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:53,840 in me. 97 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:59,560 Well, you know, I really never could please 98 00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:00,460 my parents either. 99 00:04:00,660 --> 00:04:02,320 Margaret, I don't have time for your life 100 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:02,660 story. 101 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:03,940 I got a problem here. 102 00:04:05,980 --> 00:04:07,300 Bad judgment, right? 103 00:04:08,660 --> 00:04:09,180 Extremely. 104 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:12,860 Oh, but I suppose five minutes can't hurt. 105 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:14,540 Thank you, Margaret. 106 00:04:15,820 --> 00:04:19,160 It is Christmas, but after the holidays, you 107 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:19,880 watch yourself. 108 00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:24,160 Look, look, Santa, the traditional greeting is ho, 109 00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:24,980 ho, ho. 110 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:27,000 Whenever a pretty girl walks by and you 111 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,760 just say ho, she has every right to 112 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:29,280 deck you. 113 00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:30,400 Ho, ho, ho. 114 00:04:37,740 --> 00:04:39,300 I'm telling you, if I don't get a 115 00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:40,740 tip from one of those lousy tenants soon, 116 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:42,000 I'm shutting off their heat. 117 00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:44,880 That ought to make you real popular. 118 00:04:45,060 --> 00:04:45,240 Yeah? 119 00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:47,000 Screw them. 120 00:04:47,340 --> 00:04:49,160 I can't guarantee a white Christmas, but for 121 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:50,520 some of those old farts, it's going to 122 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:51,080 be a blue one. 123 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:55,760 Oh, crap. 124 00:04:55,820 --> 00:04:57,040 It's Sarah from the bakery. 125 00:04:57,900 --> 00:04:59,200 She's always acting like her life is better 126 00:04:59,200 --> 00:04:59,700 than mine. 127 00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,220 Her life is better than yours. 128 00:05:02,460 --> 00:05:03,760 That's not the point. 129 00:05:04,340 --> 00:05:06,040 She makes me sick, the big phony. 130 00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:07,660 Sarah, hi. 131 00:05:07,860 --> 00:05:08,440 Merry Christmas. 132 00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:11,860 You, too. 133 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:13,220 You know, I meant to come over earlier, 134 00:05:13,340 --> 00:05:15,140 but my bakery is so busy, I can't 135 00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:15,860 get out the door. 136 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:18,780 Well, it certainly is nice and quiet here. 137 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:21,080 Yeah. 138 00:05:21,980 --> 00:05:23,280 Well, I was meaning to come over and 139 00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:25,180 see you, too, but I've just been swamped, 140 00:05:25,180 --> 00:05:26,660 you know, running the diner and going to 141 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:27,700 school... 142 00:05:28,380 --> 00:05:29,680 and running the diner. 143 00:05:30,900 --> 00:05:31,920 Tell me about it. 144 00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:33,640 Between my kids and my husband? 145 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:35,720 Oh, I don't have a moment to myself. 146 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:37,440 You're so lucky you don't have that problem. 147 00:05:39,500 --> 00:05:39,940 Yeah. 148 00:05:40,180 --> 00:05:40,620 Lucky. 149 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:43,900 Well, it's been great catching up, but, of 150 00:05:43,900 --> 00:05:45,800 course, the reason why I'm here is the 151 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,280 St. Agnes Toy Drive. 152 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:48,260 You know, for the orphans. 153 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:51,000 I have collected the most toys seven years 154 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:51,520 in a row. 155 00:05:51,940 --> 00:05:52,340 I know. 156 00:05:52,380 --> 00:05:52,980 You told me. 157 00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:55,760 Seven years in a row. 158 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:00,640 So, would it be all right if I 159 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:03,040 put a flyer for my toy drive up 160 00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:03,440 in your window? 161 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:05,920 I would love to let you, but, you 162 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:07,800 know, I'm actually doing my own toy drive 163 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:08,200 this year. 164 00:06:09,140 --> 00:06:09,800 Oh, really? 165 00:06:11,540 --> 00:06:12,360 Yes, really. 166 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:16,780 Well, life certainly can't beat you down. 167 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:18,000 I'll give you that. 168 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:20,440 Merry Christmas. 169 00:06:20,840 --> 00:06:21,360 You, too. 170 00:06:22,780 --> 00:06:24,420 Since when did you get involved in the 171 00:06:24,420 --> 00:06:24,940 toy drive? 172 00:06:24,940 --> 00:06:27,460 Since I decided that my sole purpose in 173 00:06:27,460 --> 00:06:29,280 life is to crush her like a bug. 174 00:06:35,350 --> 00:06:35,830 There. 175 00:06:36,370 --> 00:06:38,630 Oh, finally got it put back together. 176 00:06:39,530 --> 00:06:41,970 Reggie, what exactly is that supposed to be? 177 00:06:42,630 --> 00:06:43,990 It's an angel blowing a trumpet. 178 00:06:44,910 --> 00:06:46,710 You know, you might want to reposition the 179 00:06:46,710 --> 00:06:48,270 trumpet so it's not coming out of the 180 00:06:48,270 --> 00:06:49,590 angel's, uh, raincoat. 181 00:06:53,470 --> 00:06:54,970 John, it's getting late. 182 00:06:54,970 --> 00:06:56,630 You have to go and give Mrs. Gelman 183 00:06:56,630 --> 00:06:57,370 her flu shot. 184 00:06:57,390 --> 00:06:58,990 Oh, why doesn't she just come to the 185 00:06:58,990 --> 00:06:59,330 office? 186 00:06:59,630 --> 00:07:00,950 Because she's 97. 187 00:07:01,790 --> 00:07:03,370 And it might be nice if you took 188 00:07:03,370 --> 00:07:03,990 her a gift. 189 00:07:04,630 --> 00:07:06,170 I know just what to get her. 190 00:07:06,330 --> 00:07:07,670 A robe that closes. 191 00:07:10,830 --> 00:07:12,430 Margaret, my parents will be here soon. 192 00:07:12,490 --> 00:07:13,150 We should practice. 193 00:07:13,490 --> 00:07:14,190 Oh, don't worry. 194 00:07:14,250 --> 00:07:14,910 I know my part. 195 00:07:15,030 --> 00:07:15,350 Please. 196 00:07:16,830 --> 00:07:17,630 Oh, fine. 197 00:07:18,830 --> 00:07:20,570 You are so lucky to have a daughter 198 00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:21,110 like Linda. 199 00:07:21,270 --> 00:07:22,410 She is my role model. 200 00:07:22,530 --> 00:07:23,950 I have learned so much from her. 201 00:07:24,970 --> 00:07:25,330 Yeah. 202 00:07:25,750 --> 00:07:27,250 I'm not saying that. 203 00:07:27,450 --> 00:07:27,890 You promise. 204 00:07:31,610 --> 00:07:34,930 And I credit Linda for showing me the 205 00:07:34,930 --> 00:07:36,370 path to sobriety. 206 00:07:38,770 --> 00:07:41,010 You know, she's so much nicer since she 207 00:07:41,010 --> 00:07:41,710 stopped drinking. 208 00:07:43,650 --> 00:07:45,170 Merry Christmas, everybody. 209 00:07:45,210 --> 00:07:46,070 Merry Christmas. 210 00:07:47,070 --> 00:07:48,510 I didn't know Margaret drank. 211 00:07:49,550 --> 00:07:51,110 Then again, she does work for Becca. 212 00:07:54,150 --> 00:07:55,510 Check it out, toots. 213 00:07:55,730 --> 00:07:57,310 Bob's here with toys for the tots. 214 00:07:58,310 --> 00:07:59,690 Bob, that's great. 215 00:07:59,770 --> 00:08:01,630 That'll bring us up to over 40 toys. 216 00:08:02,270 --> 00:08:03,910 I'm going to destroy Sarah. 217 00:08:04,450 --> 00:08:05,410 So where did you get them? 218 00:08:05,490 --> 00:08:06,570 I took them off people in the building. 219 00:08:08,550 --> 00:08:09,970 Wait, you stole toys? 220 00:08:10,330 --> 00:08:12,170 Stole is such an ugly word. 221 00:08:13,530 --> 00:08:15,030 Besides, most of these toys are from the 222 00:08:15,030 --> 00:08:16,030 lost and found, all right? 223 00:08:16,790 --> 00:08:18,530 Can you give kids used toys? 224 00:08:18,690 --> 00:08:20,150 Reg, they're orphans. 225 00:08:20,310 --> 00:08:21,690 If they don't mind using them, they're not 226 00:08:21,690 --> 00:08:21,790 going to mind used parents. 227 00:08:21,950 --> 00:08:23,390 They're not going to mind used toys. 228 00:08:35,730 --> 00:08:36,610 Excuse me. 229 00:08:36,990 --> 00:08:38,669 I'm not cutting in line. 230 00:08:38,830 --> 00:08:40,630 I'm just trying to take a shortcut to 231 00:08:40,630 --> 00:08:42,110 the store to get to my car. 232 00:08:42,909 --> 00:08:43,590 Oh, thank God. 233 00:08:43,850 --> 00:08:44,970 Doctor coming through. 234 00:08:45,550 --> 00:08:47,810 Why are you shopping tonight, for God's sake? 235 00:08:47,850 --> 00:08:49,450 You had to have seen this holiday coming. 236 00:08:49,450 --> 00:08:49,850 Hey! 237 00:09:01,370 --> 00:09:02,610 I'm in hell. 238 00:09:07,310 --> 00:09:08,910 Oh, hey. 239 00:09:09,250 --> 00:09:09,930 Look at that. 240 00:09:10,330 --> 00:09:12,230 That's Liberace drinking a martini. 241 00:09:13,510 --> 00:09:14,310 Wonderful. 242 00:09:21,570 --> 00:09:21,990 Oh! 243 00:09:32,550 --> 00:09:33,950 May I help you? 244 00:09:34,550 --> 00:09:35,430 Oh, yeah, yeah. 245 00:09:35,930 --> 00:09:36,350 Thank you. 246 00:09:36,370 --> 00:09:37,810 I want to buy that ornament right there. 247 00:09:38,290 --> 00:09:38,970 I'm sorry. 248 00:09:39,030 --> 00:09:40,570 It's part of the display and not for 249 00:09:40,570 --> 00:09:40,810 sale. 250 00:09:41,430 --> 00:09:42,270 It's Christmas. 251 00:09:42,530 --> 00:09:43,450 Everything's for sale. 252 00:09:44,050 --> 00:09:46,250 Sir, I need you to step back over 253 00:09:46,250 --> 00:09:46,610 the rope. 254 00:09:46,930 --> 00:09:48,410 Yeah, look, help me out here. 255 00:09:48,410 --> 00:09:50,190 A friend of mine had an ornament just 256 00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:51,190 like that, but it broke. 257 00:09:51,490 --> 00:09:52,650 It'd really mean a lot to her if 258 00:09:52,650 --> 00:09:53,450 I could replace it. 259 00:09:53,850 --> 00:09:55,170 And it would mean a lot to me 260 00:09:55,170 --> 00:09:56,750 if you would please step out of the 261 00:09:56,750 --> 00:09:57,150 display. 262 00:09:58,010 --> 00:10:01,310 Yeah, look, Justin, your little name tag says, 263 00:10:01,430 --> 00:10:02,230 May I Help You. 264 00:10:02,290 --> 00:10:03,450 You're not helping me. 265 00:10:03,750 --> 00:10:06,830 And that sign says North Pole, but we're 266 00:10:06,830 --> 00:10:08,930 not really there, now, are we? 267 00:10:10,370 --> 00:10:12,370 Now step out of the display. 268 00:10:15,430 --> 00:10:17,030 Thank you. 269 00:10:18,630 --> 00:10:20,850 Yeah, well, it's a stupid display. 270 00:10:21,550 --> 00:10:22,130 You know something? 271 00:10:49,210 --> 00:10:50,010 Oh! 272 00:10:51,670 --> 00:10:53,410 Ho, ho, ho. 273 00:10:57,210 --> 00:11:00,610 Oh, God. 274 00:11:00,610 --> 00:11:01,490 Ho, ho, ho. 275 00:11:04,870 --> 00:11:06,210 Move along, folks. 276 00:11:06,290 --> 00:11:07,150 Nothing to see. 277 00:11:07,350 --> 00:11:09,450 Just a man who didn't listen to me 278 00:11:09,450 --> 00:11:10,490 and fell down. 279 00:11:11,910 --> 00:11:13,130 You've got to get up. 280 00:11:13,330 --> 00:11:14,150 I can't. 281 00:11:14,350 --> 00:11:15,630 I threw my back out. 282 00:11:15,730 --> 00:11:16,710 I'm in a lot of pain. 283 00:11:16,870 --> 00:11:17,990 I can't move my legs. 284 00:11:18,070 --> 00:11:19,530 I can barely move my arms. 285 00:11:19,590 --> 00:11:21,130 You're gonna have to move me, but do 286 00:11:21,130 --> 00:11:22,070 it delicately. 287 00:11:22,430 --> 00:11:24,430 Sorry, the lawyers tell us we can't help 288 00:11:24,430 --> 00:11:24,750 anyone. 289 00:11:25,850 --> 00:11:26,270 Train. 290 00:11:26,910 --> 00:11:27,390 What? 291 00:11:28,030 --> 00:11:28,510 Train. 292 00:11:28,510 --> 00:11:30,450 What the hell are you talking about? 293 00:11:31,030 --> 00:11:31,470 Ow! 294 00:11:35,430 --> 00:11:37,510 As I said, train. 295 00:11:39,650 --> 00:11:41,510 Now, all right, I'll call the paramedics. 296 00:11:42,150 --> 00:11:44,330 Yeah, call my office, too, will you, please? 297 00:11:44,470 --> 00:11:48,430 It's 5550199, Dr. John Becker. 298 00:11:48,730 --> 00:11:51,990 Okay, but first, I'm going to cover you 299 00:11:51,990 --> 00:11:52,650 with a blanket... 300 00:11:53,090 --> 00:11:53,250 What? 301 00:11:53,350 --> 00:11:53,450 What? 302 00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:54,910 ...so you don't go into shock. 303 00:11:55,370 --> 00:11:56,170 Wait a minute. 304 00:11:56,290 --> 00:11:57,270 That's not a blanket. 305 00:11:57,270 --> 00:11:58,950 This is fake snow. 306 00:11:59,030 --> 00:12:00,390 You're trying to hide me. 307 00:12:01,270 --> 00:12:02,390 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 308 00:12:03,030 --> 00:12:04,710 I'm not gonna lay here and listen to 309 00:12:04,710 --> 00:12:05,370 that crap. 310 00:12:05,550 --> 00:12:07,170 Sorry, nothing I can do. 311 00:12:07,270 --> 00:12:08,070 Oh, thank you. 312 00:12:08,350 --> 00:12:08,770 Train. 313 00:12:11,210 --> 00:12:11,610 Ooh! 314 00:12:13,410 --> 00:12:13,850 Hey! 315 00:12:13,850 --> 00:12:15,430 Hey, come on, get me out of here, 316 00:12:15,510 --> 00:12:15,690 will you? 317 00:12:15,970 --> 00:12:17,430 I swear to God I'll sue you! 318 00:12:18,010 --> 00:12:19,250 Hey, take this thing off me! 319 00:12:20,110 --> 00:12:22,430 Mommy, I don't like that scary toy. 320 00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:25,410 That mean Mr. Angry Head. 321 00:12:26,010 --> 00:12:27,730 It's Dr. Angry Head. 322 00:12:35,090 --> 00:12:36,170 This is great. 323 00:12:36,270 --> 00:12:37,250 We have almost 50 toys. 324 00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:38,770 Hey, we might actually beat Sarah. 325 00:12:39,310 --> 00:12:41,030 Not quite, frosty the blind man. 326 00:12:43,090 --> 00:12:44,710 I was just down at the bakery, and 327 00:12:44,710 --> 00:12:46,190 Sarah's got, like, 300 toys. 328 00:12:46,490 --> 00:12:47,490 Oh, damn it! 329 00:12:47,590 --> 00:12:48,290 Hey, you know what, Red? 330 00:12:48,370 --> 00:12:50,030 Sarah's been working on this for months. 331 00:12:50,110 --> 00:12:51,590 We can't beat her, but so what? 332 00:12:51,610 --> 00:12:52,590 We only have 50 toys. 333 00:12:52,670 --> 00:12:54,250 That's 50 more toys for the orphans. 334 00:12:54,710 --> 00:12:56,950 More for the orphans, more for the orphans. 335 00:12:57,870 --> 00:12:59,390 You're missing the point, Jake. 336 00:12:59,530 --> 00:13:00,790 We can still beat her. 337 00:13:00,890 --> 00:13:01,890 Miracles can happen. 338 00:13:02,130 --> 00:13:02,790 Oh, Red. 339 00:13:02,890 --> 00:13:04,510 Is this the season of damn miracles, or 340 00:13:04,510 --> 00:13:04,890 isn't it? 341 00:13:05,570 --> 00:13:06,730 We just need to get creative. 342 00:13:07,450 --> 00:13:08,970 Look, you can take Barbie, separate her from 343 00:13:08,970 --> 00:13:09,250 her clothes. 344 00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:09,890 You got two toys. 345 00:13:10,830 --> 00:13:12,510 Who wants a doll without clothes? 346 00:13:12,910 --> 00:13:14,570 Well, besides you. 347 00:13:14,630 --> 00:13:15,130 You know what? 348 00:13:16,250 --> 00:13:17,550 I don't want any part of this. 349 00:13:17,570 --> 00:13:18,270 I'm taking a walk. 350 00:13:19,190 --> 00:13:19,810 Jake, wait. 351 00:13:20,170 --> 00:13:20,910 I-I'm sorry. 352 00:13:21,930 --> 00:13:24,070 Oh, I guess I got so wrapped up 353 00:13:24,070 --> 00:13:26,370 in beating Sarah, I guess I lost sight 354 00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:27,630 of what's really important. 355 00:13:30,930 --> 00:13:31,970 Will you forgive me? 356 00:13:33,210 --> 00:13:34,330 Yeah, yeah. 357 00:13:34,650 --> 00:13:35,150 Forget it. 358 00:13:35,650 --> 00:13:36,850 I'll be back in a little while. 359 00:13:46,590 --> 00:13:48,070 I was hoping I wouldn't have to resort 360 00:13:48,070 --> 00:13:48,450 to that. 361 00:13:49,670 --> 00:13:51,130 I've never been more proud of you in 362 00:13:51,130 --> 00:13:51,790 my entire life. 363 00:13:54,430 --> 00:13:57,590 ♪ Christmas is the time of sharing ♪ 364 00:13:57,590 --> 00:14:00,190 Christmas is the time of caring ♪ If 365 00:14:00,190 --> 00:14:02,890 you believe in Christmas ♪ Then you'll never 366 00:14:02,890 --> 00:14:07,690 join the Christmas party Oh. 367 00:14:08,230 --> 00:14:09,350 Oh, thank God. 368 00:14:10,010 --> 00:14:12,190 If I hear that damn song one more 369 00:14:12,190 --> 00:14:14,550 time, I'll blow my Christmas brains out. 370 00:14:16,010 --> 00:14:17,370 Oh, oh, oh. 371 00:14:17,370 --> 00:14:18,290 No, no, no, don't, don't, don't. 372 00:14:18,430 --> 00:14:18,570 No. 373 00:14:18,890 --> 00:14:19,250 No. 374 00:14:32,430 --> 00:14:34,130 Linda, what are you wearing? 375 00:14:34,930 --> 00:14:36,690 I'm an office manager, Margaret. 376 00:14:36,790 --> 00:14:37,330 What do you think? 377 00:14:37,370 --> 00:14:39,090 I'm gonna wear a polyester smock? 378 00:14:42,170 --> 00:14:44,090 So, my parents will be here any minute. 379 00:14:44,310 --> 00:14:45,450 Could you please make coffee? 380 00:14:49,860 --> 00:14:51,580 Margaret, be a lamb and grab that. 381 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:54,720 You have lost your mind. 382 00:14:56,340 --> 00:14:57,080 Doctor's office. 383 00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:02,240 She's very busy right now, but I'll see 384 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:02,960 if I can get her. 385 00:15:04,620 --> 00:15:05,420 Nice touch. 386 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:07,680 Hi, Mom, where are you? 387 00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:08,360 Are you on your way? 388 00:15:13,690 --> 00:15:15,150 Oh, no, that's okay. 389 00:15:16,590 --> 00:15:17,390 I understand. 390 00:15:20,030 --> 00:15:21,450 You have a Merry Christmas, too. 391 00:15:27,620 --> 00:15:28,540 They're not coming. 392 00:15:30,540 --> 00:15:32,740 Their friends invited them to go skiing in 393 00:15:32,740 --> 00:15:33,160 Aspen. 394 00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:35,700 Oh, Linda, I'm so sorry. 395 00:15:36,820 --> 00:15:37,500 That's okay. 396 00:15:38,700 --> 00:15:40,620 I'd rather go to Aspen than visit me, 397 00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:40,900 too. 398 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:46,760 Linda, you know you're welcome to spend Christmas 399 00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:48,000 Eve with Louis and me. 400 00:15:48,100 --> 00:15:49,840 With you there, we'd have someone to talk 401 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:50,080 to. 402 00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:54,440 As much fun as that sounds, I think 403 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:55,900 I'd rather just be by myself. 404 00:15:56,860 --> 00:15:57,940 Merry Christmas, Margaret. 405 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:05,800 Hey! 406 00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:07,040 Ow! 407 00:16:07,540 --> 00:16:09,680 Hey, don't pretend like you don't know I'm 408 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:10,000 here. 409 00:16:10,380 --> 00:16:11,700 What now? 410 00:16:12,860 --> 00:16:14,440 Where are the paramedics? 411 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:15,580 I don't know. 412 00:16:15,660 --> 00:16:17,020 Maybe they're in Kitchenware's. 413 00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:18,260 We're having a big sale. 414 00:16:19,260 --> 00:16:20,400 Oh, I know. 415 00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:21,300 Ow! 416 00:16:22,780 --> 00:16:24,400 You didn't say train. 417 00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:26,760 Sorry, train. 418 00:16:28,740 --> 00:16:31,560 Look, at least unplug the damn display. 419 00:16:32,060 --> 00:16:33,140 Oh, no, no, get, get. 420 00:16:33,380 --> 00:16:33,920 Don't push that. 421 00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:36,260 No, no, you push that. 422 00:16:36,420 --> 00:16:37,980 I swear to God, Santa won't bring you 423 00:16:37,980 --> 00:16:38,600 a single present. 424 00:16:39,420 --> 00:16:40,200 All right, all right, wait, wait, wait. 425 00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:41,100 I'll give you a dollar. 426 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:42,120 Five dollars. 427 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:43,260 Okay, okay. 428 00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:44,160 I'll give you $20. 429 00:16:44,980 --> 00:16:46,240 Oh, thank you. 430 00:16:46,460 --> 00:16:48,000 All right, let's do me a favor, though. 431 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:48,560 I can't move. 432 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,340 Reach into my pocket and get my wallet. 433 00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:51,400 Oh, no. 434 00:16:51,700 --> 00:16:53,820 We saw a video about that in school. 435 00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:55,760 Oh, no, no, I didn't mean that. 436 00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:57,160 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 437 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:00,620 No, no, don't. 438 00:17:05,220 --> 00:17:11,819 Hey, Rach. 439 00:17:12,020 --> 00:17:12,220 Yeah? 440 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:14,619 The strangest thing just happened to me. 441 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:16,480 Two people just came up to me and 442 00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:17,560 gave me toys for the orphans. 443 00:17:19,359 --> 00:17:20,220 Two toys? 444 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:20,760 That's it? 445 00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:21,319 Yeah, I know. 446 00:17:21,380 --> 00:17:22,980 You'd think you'd get more toys putting a 447 00:17:22,980 --> 00:17:24,359 sign on a blind guy's back. 448 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:27,620 I mean, where do you get these ideas, 449 00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:28,680 the little rascals? 450 00:17:30,140 --> 00:17:31,740 I don't know what I was thinking. 451 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:33,880 I was stupid to think I could beat 452 00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:34,220 Sarah. 453 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:35,740 You can never beat people like that. 454 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:38,560 Oh, I was wrong. 455 00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:39,960 There are no Christmas miracles. 456 00:17:40,900 --> 00:17:41,600 Guess what? 457 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:43,600 There was a fire down at Sarah's bakery 458 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:44,860 and all the toys burned up. 459 00:17:46,180 --> 00:17:46,620 Yes! 460 00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:49,740 Oh, wait, was anyone hurt? 461 00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:50,080 No. 462 00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:51,000 Yes! 463 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:55,640 Miracles do happen, I told you. 464 00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:58,880 God bless us, everyone. 465 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:01,920 So, should we bring the toys down to 466 00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:02,360 the orphanage? 467 00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:04,640 Yeah, whatever. 468 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:22,760 Finally. 469 00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:24,280 Oh, thank God. 470 00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:29,400 Linda, Linda, over here. 471 00:18:30,260 --> 00:18:30,660 Yeah. 472 00:18:30,940 --> 00:18:33,160 Dr. Becker, what are you doing down there? 473 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:34,960 Oh, I threw my back out. 474 00:18:35,420 --> 00:18:36,820 Well, let me help you up. 475 00:18:36,900 --> 00:18:37,820 No, no, no, no, no. 476 00:18:37,940 --> 00:18:39,700 We better wait for the paramedics. 477 00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:41,940 What are you doing here? 478 00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:44,780 Well, my parents were supposed to come visit, 479 00:18:44,900 --> 00:18:45,660 but they canceled. 480 00:18:46,260 --> 00:18:47,860 I thought coming here to see the Christmas 481 00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:49,520 decorations might cheer me up. 482 00:18:49,900 --> 00:18:51,160 So far, it hasn't helped. 483 00:18:51,780 --> 00:18:53,980 Oh, well, that was your first mistake. 484 00:18:55,120 --> 00:18:56,560 Expecting something for Christmas. 485 00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:58,280 Just take a page from my book. 486 00:18:58,460 --> 00:18:59,980 No expectations, no disappointments. 487 00:19:01,540 --> 00:19:03,540 But if you can't look forward to the 488 00:19:03,540 --> 00:19:05,020 holidays, then what's the point? 489 00:19:05,220 --> 00:19:06,040 Oh, come on. 490 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:08,420 You're old enough to realize that holidays suck. 491 00:19:08,860 --> 00:19:10,660 I mean, you start at Thanksgiving with an 492 00:19:10,660 --> 00:19:12,140 idea of how things should be. 493 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:14,520 By Christmas, all your dreams are shot to 494 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:14,820 hell. 495 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:16,960 Then everybody drinks on New Year's Eve to 496 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:19,160 forget about how bad the past month actually 497 00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:19,580 was. 498 00:19:19,820 --> 00:19:21,220 Then they start the new year with their 499 00:19:21,220 --> 00:19:23,440 heads in the toilet, which is pretty symbolic, 500 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:24,580 if you think about it. 501 00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:28,180 All I wanted for Christmas was to see 502 00:19:28,180 --> 00:19:29,060 my parents. 503 00:19:30,860 --> 00:19:31,900 Oh, geez. 504 00:19:33,100 --> 00:19:34,820 Oh, I'm sorry, Linda. 505 00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:37,040 Look, I'm just having a bad day. 506 00:19:37,220 --> 00:19:39,480 You know, I suppose there are parts of 507 00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:40,420 Christmas that are good. 508 00:19:41,060 --> 00:19:41,400 Yeah? 509 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:42,020 Yeah. 510 00:19:42,260 --> 00:19:42,800 Like what? 511 00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:44,360 Like... 512 00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:45,100 Like what? 513 00:19:45,460 --> 00:19:45,740 Yeah. 514 00:19:47,740 --> 00:19:48,780 Well, um... 515 00:19:48,780 --> 00:19:49,740 Well, there's... 516 00:19:54,100 --> 00:19:54,740 Well... 517 00:19:54,740 --> 00:19:56,880 Christmas is a time for sharing. 518 00:19:59,180 --> 00:20:01,760 And Christmas is a time for caring. 519 00:20:03,060 --> 00:20:05,780 And I guess if you believe in Christmas 520 00:20:05,780 --> 00:20:09,740 things, you'll know the joy that Christmas brings. 521 00:20:11,660 --> 00:20:14,420 Wow, that's the most beautiful thing I've ever 522 00:20:14,420 --> 00:20:15,560 heard, Dr. Becker. 523 00:20:15,660 --> 00:20:16,340 Thank you. 524 00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:17,620 That really helps. 525 00:20:18,180 --> 00:20:19,200 Get off me. 526 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:22,940 Hey, why is the display off? 527 00:20:23,540 --> 00:20:25,500 Uh, some kid in a striped shirt did 528 00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:25,600 it. 529 00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:26,280 He went that way. 530 00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:29,760 Hey, my friend had an ornament just like 531 00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:30,760 that one, but it broke. 532 00:20:30,860 --> 00:20:31,880 Is that one for sale? 533 00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:33,100 No. 534 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:33,880 What the heck? 535 00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:34,760 It's Christmas. 536 00:20:35,140 --> 00:20:36,040 Go ahead and take it. 537 00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:36,940 Thanks. 538 00:20:38,340 --> 00:20:40,040 Hey, that's the one I wanted. 539 00:20:40,380 --> 00:20:41,500 Why didn't you give it to me? 540 00:20:41,860 --> 00:20:43,520 Because I don't like you. 541 00:20:44,140 --> 00:20:45,280 Oh, don't do that. 542 00:20:52,340 --> 00:20:53,880 I hate Christmas. 32607

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