Original subtitles

WELCOME TO PASADENA

THE COMIC CENTER OF PASADENA

- Hi, Stuart. -Bert.

Is there anything new?

It never loses its grace.

I think I'm ready to close a deal for Batman608.

Excellent choice.

What is the exchange?

What do you think from a can of lima beans?

What's up, Bert? This is almost impeccable.

I could get a couple of cans of stew of Dinty Moore meat for her.

More... creamy corn.

It's good.

I was saving it for my birthday, But I think I'll include it.

Bag for cats.

- What flavor? - Salmon.

- Closed. - Yay!

Have you gone crazy?

Hawkeye He doesn't deserve to be an Avenger.

It's better not to start.

There's a guy with a bow and arrow who must be part of the same team

that a guy with powered armor by an ARC Reactor and the god of thunder?

What sense does that make?

I don't know. I mean, does this make sense?

I just mopped.

We've already talked about this, Kyle.

It was the third strike.

Sorry, okay? But you heard what he said.

It went badly. He who started it.

Unbelievable. Give me a hand?

Of course.

You know, I think the same thing about Green Arrow.

�, we all think, but you don't need to kill anyone.

Goodbye.

- Have you ever wondered where this is going? - No.

- It must be better this way. -Stuart.

We need to talk.

Now it's weird!

DON'T SKIP THE OPENING!

AND IT'S GOING TO GET EVEN WEIRDER.

DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT PUSHING THE BUTTON TO SKIP THE OPENING!

OF COURSE YOU CAN, BUT YOU WILL LOSE A LOT OF THINGS.

FOR EXAMPLE, THIS SONG BY DANNY ELFMAN.

VERY GOOD, ISN'T IT?

AND THIS ART?

NOT BAD FOR THOSE WHO DIDN'T HAVE IT NO BUDGET

FINALLY, THIS IS THE OPENING.

WE WANT TO IMPROVE EVERY EPISODE.

OTHERWISE IT WILL LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS.

Do you have an identical twin brother?

- No. - Right. I have two questions.

Just two?

I only have a few seconds to explain, so pay attention.

- Who are you? - First question.

I'm you from another reality.

Well, that answers that.

- Second question. - Listen.

This apocalyptic nightmare that you are living

can be avoided, never needs to happen.

T�. Now I have about six questions.

- He can't be me. - It looks like you.

Prom. Emily Mannhart. Peach schnapps.

She was on her own. You threw up in her lap.

- It looks like you. - At least I went to the dance.

I couldn't go. He had mononucleosis.

Please. I don't have much time.

Leonard Hofstadter, Sheldon Cooper, Howard Wolowitz. Remember them?

- Yes. Some great nerds. - The dirty talking about the poorly washed.

- �. - Fair enough.

Anyway, they invented some kind of quantum entanglement apparatus,

and you were there when it failed.

The two of us? Or is it just him?

- It doesn't matter. - It matters to me.

The question is that it altered reality. None of this should exist.

And when you say "none of that", I mean...

None of that!

The violence, the devastation. The dimensional rifts.

- Dimensional cracks. - Now we know.

None of this is normal.

This is certainly not.

The giant moth?

That. The giant moth.

If you turn off the lights, they don't bother.

You can fix everything. Can make everything go back to the way it was.

You just need to find the...

Wait.

If you are me from another reality, how can you be in this?

I don't know. I'm not a quantum physicist.

I studied at the Faculty of Design from Rhode Island.

- I didn't know. - Yeah. I have a bachelor's degree in Fine Arts.

Really? Why never Did you practice the profession?

What was I going to do? Teach teenagers drawing fruits?

Guys, please. The machine is still at Caltech.

- Listen to what you need to do. - Wait. I'll write it down.

"How..." Damn.

- What will shaking solve? - Stop talking and listen.

You know, I think I have a marker. Excuse me.

Listening!

When you get to the machine...

Damn!

- What's going on? - I don't know.

I'm passing through a type of wormhole.

The important thing is...

And when you find it...

And that will fix everything.

Did you understand anything?

I understood the general idea.

ADAPTATION | REVIEW | SYNCHRONY: EMAIL | loschulosteam@gmail.com

Good one, Steve.

- How are you out there? - A little cold. Bundle up well.

Let's go?

I don't know.

I'm rethinking.

What are you talking about? We received a mission.

Yes, But do we believe that guy?

That guy was you.

That's precisely the problem. Since when do we listen to me?

Maybe we have a chance to fix the world.

I don't know. I think it's important to ask the question:

"This reality Is it that bad?"

I think it can be improved.

What are you doing?

What does it look like? I'm trying to get to Caltech.

With a printed map?

I would use my iPhone's GPS, but civilization seems to be over.

Look.

PENN AND TELLER THEY PRESENT THEMSELVES IN EXCHANGE OF FOOD

Juggling two hungry wild creatures,

As you can see, it's not difficult,

but do it with three tremendous stupidity.

I saw them in Vegas. It was a very fun night.

Do you know who I loved in Vegas? and I thought you wouldn't like it?

- Who? - C�line Dion.

Sorry.

It's good.

That.

Thanks.

We are Penn and Teller and we will be here until we die.

Moth.

My God. Look.

Dental floss.

- Hurry up. It's getting dark. - It's good. Excuse me.

How much does 30 centimeters cost? of dental floss?

- Mint or unflavored? - See me with no flavor.

Macaroni and cheese...

Thank you. Look.

Have gums Healthy foods are priceless.

- This is so good. - Take it easy. Let's share.

That sound wasn't good.

Stuart?

Denise?

I thought you were dead.

I thought you were dead.

What's up? What have you been doing?

Stealing, basically. Still I'm writing my script.

Great.

- How have you been? - Good. I still have the store.

- How great. - What it was?

Don't worry, Gary. I know both.

So let's not steal or kill. What are we going to do?

Remember I talked about Stuart?

Sure, how are you? Gary.

Hi.

So you two...

You have to remember that I found that you were dead.

- �. No, of course. All good. - Actually, it's a funny story.

Gary was leaving with my friend Lisa...

Good girl. Jew.

�. Anyway, Lisa was eaten by cannibals in Sherman Oaks.

Oh, no...

Human flesh is not kosher.

But I think that only matters if the cannibals are also Jews.

Anyway, we... console each other.

- She does very well. Isn't it? - Well...

To be honest, I was more focused on my performance.

Anyway, we have to go.

�, to Caltech. We are on a mission.

Caltech no longer exists. O What was left became a death trap.

We have no option.

�. An alternative version of me came from another universe

and explained How can I undo the apocalypse.

It was really cool.

An alternative version of you?

�. Same pale face and same crying voice.

It was like looking in a mirror.

Well, good luck.

�. It was good to see you.

It was good to see you too. Have fun looting and such.

Goodbye.

- They will die. - �.

It doesn't look good.

Because of the guns?

That. Because of the weapons.

Denise. What are you doing?

Trying to keep you alive.

I don't care about your life. I just hope to have sex tonight.

Gary.

- Very kind. - Thanks.

- What's the plan? - Actually, I don't have one.

- I'm a bit of a newbie to the action genre. - Right. Let's do it like this.

I will create a distraction at the gate.

The three of you turn around and go on the side where the trucks enter.

It's good. And then?

When they stop, you roll down, they grab the chassis and get in with them.

You've done this before.

Well, back in the day, I was of the Army Special Forces.

Legal. I was a geologist.

- Are we ready? - Yes.

Wait. So it's run, roll and grab?

Run, roll and grab.

Sorry. I learn best by seeing.

Not three. One, two, three.

My God! Gary!

- Don't move. - Hands up.

Stopped. Let's go.

Tell them your alternative version.

Xiu.

- Oh my God, Gary. - How horrible. Terrible.

But you know what?

You will find someone else, Maybe sooner than you think.

Come in!

- Wow. - What?

This was my geology room.

Open your mind of so many young people here.

Can you speak more quietly?

Raj?

Perhaps. Possibly.

Who wants to know?

Raj, it's me, Stuart, from the comic book store.

Stuart?

That. And Bert Kibbler. You know Bert.

- Bert? - And Denise. Remember Denise?

This is not real. It's a hallucination.

No. We're right here, it's real.

That's exactly it what a hallucination would say.

What are you doing here?

Isn't it obvious?

I'm locked in a room,

I haven't changed my underwear in years and shit in a bucket.

So you are a prisoner?

I went on an elephant to my wedding and now I shit in a bucket.

Congratulations.

For marriage.

�. A butterfly ate her.

Anyway, I had time to understand everything

and there's definitely something wrong with this reality.

Did you see? I tried it here and here. And the numbers don't lie.

- Were you telling the truth? - You didn't believe me?

An alternative version of you told how to save the universe?

Not for a second.

Pay attention.

Leonard, Sheldon and Howard built

a variation device and quantum interference

That was exactly my guess.

It failed and changed everything.

The universe, history, the reality.

Okay, great. How do we fix it?

That's where it gets complicated. Do you know why?

Wait. Did you ask?

I'm going to assume you asked.

It gets complicated because we all we are prisoners of the Evil One.

And the Evil One likes everything continue exactly as you are.

Who is the Evil One?

I can't say his name. When I mean, bad things happen.

Sorry. Is it Voldemort?

I wish it were. You can still negotiate with him.

But if we get to the device, Can we really restart the universe?

In the blink of an eye. But it's impossible.

The device is surrounded by guards armed 24 hours a day.

No, it's not impossible.

My alternate version said I am the one chosen to fix everything.

He didn't say "the chosen one."

Well, he implied.

Our. I didn't understand that at all.

All kneel before the Great Caliph from South Pasadena, Flintridge and Monrovia.

The Supreme Ruler of the San Gabriel Valley.

I'm not going to kneel to anyone.

It's good.

Hello, prisoners.

Kripke?

Lord Kripke.

It's not "Lord". � "Lord".

What did I say?

- You said "Lord". - Is this the Evil One? Barry Kripke?

He apologizes. Please he didn't know. Have mercy.

Pity? If there is anything I am, it is pious.

Troubadours sing about my piety.

Can we get up?

No one stands before Lord Kripke.

For the last time. It's "Lord", not "Lord".

You can get up. Whatever.

With all due respect, my lord, How did the Great...

- Caliph. - ...Caliph of South Pasadena?

I think we have time for a little context.

I apologize. You've heard that.

When everything went to space and civilization collapsed,

a leadership vacuum emerged here at university

and, as we all know...

Nature abhors a vacuum.

Exactly. So I took power, I was with all the food, guns and girls.

�. End of story.

But this world is a nightmare. Don't want to fix everything?

Didn't you hear right? I got all the girls.

By the way,

Are you seeing anyone?

- She's with me. - I'm not, no.

I'm trying to protect you.

Take the maiden. Take a bath in her. Take her to my quarters.

I'd rather die.

I understand.

Give her a bath and kill her.

- What? - No.

- Hey. Hands off. - Let me go!

- Hands off! Hey! - Let go of me!

- Stuart, please come back. - Or head towards the light.

No.

Come on, wake up. I had an idea.

- Denise. Where's Denise? - She was taken.

No! I have to do something.

- Or... - Or what?

You move on, meet someone else,

and she is eaten by a moth.

- Excuse me. I had an idea. - He speaks.

As I said, This was my geology room.

She is full of rock samples.

So let's throw rocks in armed men?

Because, in case you didn't know, stone He beats scissors, but not a gun.

Let's not throw rocks. Let's make bombs with them.

- What? - Look.

Potassium and a little water.

Everyone gives a little step back, please.

Cool, right?

�. If the guards go to take a shower.

No. Let's make grenades.

- How come I never thought of that? - Don't be so hard on yourself.

Most people underestimates the power of geology.

Sorry, guys. Time to die.

I agree. Handle.

But what...

I love you.

I love you too.

Let's go!

What did you do before the end of the world?

- No conversation. - What is it? I'm really going to die.

I had a podcast. Vitamins, intestinal health.

- Cool. - I received Gwyneth Paltrow.

My God. I think I heard that one. One Healthy microbiota prevents dementia.

- That! Thank you, it was... - It was good. �.

So, my dear, changed your mind?

The choice is still fuck you or die?

Look, I'm not a monster.

I'm just proposing a nice dinner, watch a movie and see what happens.

- Kill me. - Give us a minute.

Look.

Being the ruler of a fiefdom post-apocalyptic can be...

very lonely.

- And your harem? - These girls don't care about me.

They are only here for the food, medicines and free daycare.

Do you want to know?

All good. I'll have dinner with you.

- Wonder. - But you'll have to untie me first.

The basis of a relationship is the trust. It has to start now.

It's good.

Do you like deer meat?

I make it with cherry glaze.

The secret is reduce over low heat.

You are a very stupid man.

Be healthy.

You too.

Stuart.

- I'm glad you're okay. - I'm glad you're okay.

Sorry. I am covered in human remains.

Everyone is fine. Let's go!

- Thank God for geology. - I thank you every day.

- There it is. - Really?

It looks like one of those bread making machines.

It is an interference device variable state quantum.

It could be both.

- Can you fix it? - Yes. I think so.

Calibration is wrong.

I have to reconfigure. Change entries.

What should happen?

Everything simply returns to normal?

Yes. Let's hope.

It means the two of us Let's be together again.

- Calm down. I'm still grieving. - Yeah.

I think I got it.

He didn't make it.

Barry! What did you do?

We are trying fix the universe.

I don't want to fix it. I like him the way he is.

We don't like it.

Raj. Talk to me, friend.

I am fine.

Maybe not.

Raj.

What will we do? How do we fix the machine?

Look. It's my grandmother Ambulu asking me to go with her.

Can't she wait a minute?

Apparently, no.

What will we do?

"Adjust the impedance to 0.7."

What?

Here it is

Beauty.

"Turn off the attenuator."

T�.

- Beauty. - "Turn the main lock."

- Ready. - "But before..."

"But before"? What do you mean, "but first"?

This is worrying.

Should it be glowing?

Bert, stop.

No zombies, no moths.

No apocalypse.

It worked.

Look how beautiful it is.

Drug. My reign is over.

His bruises are gone.

�.

You're fine. I mean, for you...

Where's Denise?

I don't know.

- I can't lose her again. - Don't worry. She's out there.

And we will find her.

Everything returned to normal.

Subtitles: Bruno Spinosa Tiussi