Original subtitles

Woo-hoo, Granny Hana! You're workin' up a storm there!

Aye, Chief!

Fine weather we're havin', ain't it?

The Yamada pumpkins are startin' to show their color too.

Ahh, my! This here's the champion pumpkin, I tell ya!

This year's pumpkins got real fine color on 'em.

Might even bloom flowers, I reckon.

What? Flowers on a pumpkin?

Ain't never heard such nonsense in my life!

Back when I was a girl, they bloomed once.

When pumpkins bloom,

somethin' dreadful happens, mark my words.

Hey, hurry it up!

Oops, I messed up-ppya.

Ahh, I'm just a farmer girl now-pya.

That's not a farm cart-ppi.

It'll break if you roll it down the pumpkin path-ppi.

Your family registry's still in this village.

Already transferred my residency papers.

From tomorrow, I'm a flashy Tokyo gal!

You little brat,

do you even realize wow much trouble I went through just to get you out here?

Even with your modest charm, you're still a rare catch in this village.

You said it now, bro!

If it weren't for our accent, I'd be just as good as Noripi-ppya, seriously!

Now now, our Yamada accent's the pride of our village heritage.

Ain't so easy to shake off.

You think so?

Well, just do your best.

And remember, if that quack doctor calls,

just ignore him.

Dr. Sasaki ain't that bad a guy, you know.

He's a villain!

Aren't all his patients sick anyway-ppya?

But... he's our village's only doctor.

Did you do it with him?

No way, bro! I'm still a virgin!

If you married that quack...

It might actually be pretty wonderful-ppya.

Did you see this morning's paper?

"Young Tokyo doctor

strives in doctorless Yamada Village", they wrote 'bout me again!

Man, I'm embarrassed, but that's awesome,

Hey, lemme see that!

Right then, Doc. 'Scuse me.

Yukiko, why are you leaving? I thought I made my feelings clear.

You said you'll marry me, you said you'll be my number one-pya,

- But she's stubborn as a mule. - Yukiko...

Yukiko... let's be in the newspaper together!

Yasuo-ppya!

With this smell, in Tokyo... You can't live like this, right-ppya!?

You can't abandon our Yamada pumpkins!

You can't abandon the village's scent!

You... this smell...

It's awful!

There goes another woman leaving,

our chances of finding wives keep shrinking.

I'll send you off with farewell fireworks,

a lament song of us men left behind-pya!!

Watch this!

Stop that! Don't!

Whoa... Ah! Dangerous!

Wait for me! Wait!

I'll study English in Tokyo and go to America!

I can't spend my life worrying about village men!

Give up already!

So beautiful...

Goodbye, Yamada Village.

Yukiko-ppya, you're leaving the village, huh?

I'll miss you.

I'll come and visit sometimes-pya.

Yukiko's sandals...

Why did she have to leave?

- Give me one! - I want one too!

- A woman's scent... - Haa...

Pathetic.

You guys still call yourselves the proud youth of Yamada Village-ppya?

- We've got no pride left-ppya, - It's all built up inside-ppya...

That's my sandal!

I found it! Give it back! Enough already!

Your fault for letting Yukiko leave!

Wrong! Women are scarce communal resources!

Don't talk like she's some kind of object!

I knew that's how you guys think...

That's why I sent her away-ppya.

You guys kept

pushing me around-ppya!

Shut up!

I can't deal with this...

Yamada County, Yamada Mountain, Yamada Village

Yamada Village, in the Yamada district

is a tiny hamlet nestled in the mountains.

Its specialty is the Yamada Pumpkin,

whose flavor was once beloved nationwide

but its peculiar odor takes time to acclimate to,

so now it's despised as 'field stinkweed'

only a handful of people even know it anymore.

One, two, three, four...

Thus, depopulation sweeps through Yamada Village

especially as young women flee one after another.

The bride shortage has become a serious issue.

Yet those who cherish their birthplace,

and believe in the Yamada Pumpkin's revival,

live with unyielding spirit.

Ah! Hot! Ah! It burns... so hot...

The youth group supports each other,

forging ahead through shared effort.

It bloomed!

Flowers bloomed, pipi!

Fundara bokkya! (Darn it!)

She hasn't written a single line.

Sensei, it's been 72 hours past deadline.

I'm...

in a slump.

I can't do it.

This tiny screen stifles me.

I can't visualize anything.

But the display is perfectly clear!

Screens are the problem.

Living in this nature-starved city ruins everything.

The countryside... rural Japan.

A vibrant farming village.

Sensei, get a grip.

My winter break starts today.

Come on… at least just the first chapter…

For a writer like you, who used to specialize in space and sci-fi…

…taking on a coming-of-age drama set in nature for the first time,

Our company's already been doing tons of PR!

Don't worry, I'll return by year's end...

I'll write a masterpiece.

- Sensei! - Sensei! Sensei!

Sensei!

Koichi, everyone's waiting for ya!

Hey pretty boy, all dressed up!

What a stud!

Hey!

What's with everyone? Lookin' so glum.

Huh? Gloomy as hell.

Nobody likes gloomy types nowadays, y'know.

Shut up! I can't memorize this!

Today, in Yamada Village...

Ugh, I've sucked at this since elementary school.

- Yeah, no way you can do it. - Want a drink?

- Tranquilizer. - Nerves meds. Here.

Ha! Doc's got our backs. Be careful though.

Take too many at once and you'll slur your words.

Just got word from the station. They're on their way.

Apparently, they're a bunch of beauties.

Give it your all!

Don't blame me if it goes wrong.

- I can't reach! - Careful!

When the women come down from the bus…

you guys will take turns escorting them-ppya.

That's your target, to charm.

Well... 'bout our preferences...

Rou rarun pya?

"Rou rarun pya"? What kinda language is that?

We ain't in no position to be picky.

If we let everyone choose freely...

We'll just get shy and mess it up.

Better to just pair everyone up from the start...

"Village Echo" magazine, that has a higher success rate-ppya.

- Then I'll take the last one. - Huh?

You sure last is okay, Sensei?

Better chance of getting a good one that way.

Same goes for soaplands, right?

- Ah! They're here! - Here they come!

Mayor! We got a problem!

- Actually... - Later, later! Not now!

Hey, everyone! Greet them! Hey! HEY!

I'm Ran. Hello!

I'm Su. Nice to meet you.

- I'm Miki. - Ah! Helloo!

Hello.

Here you go.

What? Only three girls showed up?

Ugh, this is messed up, I tell ya.

She caught a cold and couldn't come, so that's the end of it-ppya.

I'm done for too, I swear.

Why didn't she even call… I'm beat-ppya.

Doc!

Do you know the word "pride," ppya?

SASAKI CLINIC

Today, despite your busy schedules,

Our Yamara village youth group has organized this...

matchmaking event, and we thank you for attending.

Truly grateful...

As for our village...

For some time, we have...

Centered on our youth group...

Revitalizing the village through young energy...

and... thi... revival...

Thought my boy was a stubborn fool, but...

he's got some moves-ppya.

He's seriously hilarious-ppya.

Hey, Koichi.

Bet this is 'cause of that transistor radio.

That stuff's popular now?

Nah, just suddenly...

my back went "CRACK!" on me, dang it.

Since your clinic's off today...

I wasn't sure what to do. Glad you could help, really.

So... about the matchmaking,

it's over already?

- Does this hurt? - Ow! Yeah!

How 'bout this, hurt more?

Way more!

And this even worse?

Even worse!

Now if I do this.

- Hurt way, way more? - Worse than that!

Stop! It hurts!

Aah! All fixed now!

Huh?

Pya!

Hey, that's... the Daboja flower! Blooms once every 60 years!

Um... does it suit me?

Pya...

- Pya... - Pya?

- Pya... - Pya...

So... your dad's the village chief?

That's right. So the village's depopulation issue...

a very serious problem, yes.

Mr. Kantarō, you seem like a serious guy.

Hah! "Serious", you say?

To protect our village, we need children.

- To achieve that... - To achieve that?

What's wrong, Mr. Kantarō?

No, it's nothing...

Wow~ So Mr. Yasuo used to be a monk?

Didn't expect that!

What's wrong?

No, it's nothing... really.

Ahh, it's tea and pickles?

That's how we do things 'round here, y'know.

City folk prefer sweets, don't they?

Not at all! I love pickles. Thank you.

It's Yamada Village's specialty...

Yamada Squash Hin-Hin Pickles, it is.

We burn garlic for smoking...

Then pickle it in dried fish broth for three years.

It's a bit stinky, but really tasty.

Come on, dig in.

Once you're hooked, you crave it...

Can't live without it, I tell ya.

Eat it once, and you're one of us villagers.

That's good ol' local flavor.

- Go on, now. - Go ahead.

- Come on, come on. - Here.

Go ahead.

Come on, now.

Um... Where's the restroom?

Ah, um... down that way, turn at the end...

Please make yourself at home. Excuse me for a moment.

Of course, of course.

What's with you? Keep quiet.

- Show off a little more! - Yeah.

Shoveling squash pickles is too obvious.

I'm backing you up, dummy.

- It's parental love. - If it's love, quit yapping.

- First impressions matter. - 'Cause you're hopeless...

Can't just stay silent.

Totally! That girl…

Her face isn't anything special, but…

Her hips are really something, aren't they?

Same hips as the pigs at Yosaku's place!

No matter how many you knock up, they're full of life, y'know.

Did it come out?

That was quick!

- Seriously, it came out? - Old man!

I'll definitely lock it next time, I swear!

Big bro, the one who gets her pregnant wins-ppya.

Do your best.

Hey, you! Come over here.

Let's drink some kombucha.

It's super healthy, you know.

And we've got kesaran pasaran too!

Granny Hana, are you doing rhythmic gymnastics?

- What's that? - Look.

Hey, hey! You! Stop that!

You, you... that's not...

It's flypaper, see?

Hey, quit squirming!

Huh? You catch flies with this thing?

Never seen this before.

So old-fashioned!

Nah... you're a strange girl~

Where'd you come from?

Yeah, but it suits you.

You look beautiful!

My name is Reika. It means "graceful flower."

Just kidding...

If I put this flower in your hair...

That might've been its dying wish-ppya.

This might be the last flower ever-ppii.

The village is slowly turning into a town.

The dabocha fields keep shrinking every year.

In 60 years, dabocha might be extinct.

Even though it's so beautiful?

In 60 years...

flypaper'll be gone too.

Even though it's so neat?

In 60 years, I'll be gone too...

That soon...

Hm? What is it?

Well... shall we have a little chat?

Oh! Please, make yourself comfortable.

- It stings! - What's wrong?

- It stings... - Mom! It's terrible!

What's the matter? Oh, what's wrong?

- What happened? - It stings.

I think my leg's broken.

- Do somethin' about it! - What's the matter?

Don't touch it! Don't touch it! It stings.

- It stings, It stings. - Where?

- It stings. - Here?

- Aah, it stings~ - For something like this...

Don't go calling us for every little thing, okay?

- Sorry 'bout that. - Yasuo...

Hurry up and apologize to the young lady!

I'm real sorry.

I...

It's okay, Mr. Yasuo...

You're so pure-hearted.

Huh?

Next time, tell me more about the depopulation issue.

You're such a fun family. I'll be waiting for your call.

- Well then, we're off. - Take care.

- Ran-san! - Su-san!

Give Me Chocolate: Japan's Postwar Era.

Japanese Countryside: Bright Farming Village!

So rustic.

What're you babbling so carefree about-ppya?

Those guys are starvin' for brides.

If ya stay in this village, ya never know what they'll do to ya.

Better head back before the sun sets-ppya.

Huh? Dad and Mom'll worry.

Alright then, take care heading back-ppya.

Ah, ya got bus fare?

- Yes. - Alright then.

- Thank you very much. - Bye-bye.

- Goodbye. - Bye-bye.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

♪ If I found your happiness on this boat

Yūzō Kayama - Come Be My Bride

♪ I'd come back right away

- ♪Come be my bride. - Miki-san!

Only people who get hyped for Kayama Yūzō...

...are folks in Yamada Village-ppya.

We're a village history forgot.

♪ I sing of your smile. - They're here...

They're still here...

- People getting hyped about Yūzō Kayama... - ♪ Run to me!

So rustic!

♪ Spring's almost here~ ppya

Heard it went well, did it ppya?

That matchmaking date.

- Is that so? - You keep saying "is that so"...

What a little jerk.

Cut it out already.

Sue's gonna get mad at you, y'know~ppya.

Calling her just "Sue" already? No honorific?

You already set up the next date~ppya?

- Yeah, I'm gonna call her tonight~ppya. - Tonight?

What're you even gonna say~ppya?

Ring ring ring, ring ring ring ring riiiing.

What, you getting all shy, ppya?

Stop it already, Grandma Hana.

Next time, you gonna do it? Huh?

Ow! That hurts!

Don't tell me... you already did it~pi?

Yeah! What's goin' on ppy?

Rika here.

What are you gonna do about this~ppya? This is the end.

The end...

This is what happens when the moms interfere ppya.

Oh! That's right. When calling Rika...

Ask her parents first, okay?

Also, this is a request from Rika...

When dialing, please be careful...

Wrong numbers are bothersome, aren't they?

Well then, goodbye.

Bye!

Did you get the number wrong-ppya?

I checked it three times-ppya.

The number ain't wrong.

That girl...

To... to me...

Ga... gave a fake number...

Do I stink?

Am I ugly?

Ain't nothin' wrong with me, ppya.

Those girls… must've had a hard time.

If they could, they would've told us the real number.

Right, ppya?

But you guys were so damn horrifying...

She totally chickened out-ppya.

Getting compared to Yosaku's pigs…

you think any girl would be happy about that?

Huh?

Hey, listen up!

I... ain't gotten laid in three whole years, y'see?

Kouichi, I'm sorry.

If you're okay with your mom... I'll do it for you.

Moron!

Koichi!

Look how down in the dumps ya are.

No point getting comforted by an old fart like you.

Just listen.

Love's agony...

I know better'n anyone.

Ahh... I've never talked about this before.

But now... you should understand.

Wanna hear it?

Well...

'Bout fifty years back.

They said they'd "civilize" the countryside...

threw a dance party.

And there, at that venue, I met her the girl I'll never forget.

Love at first sight for both of us. First love.

But our parents were against it...

...and we were torn apart.

That's just the kind of era it was.

Still...

The feeling I had for her never left me.

That's what love is.

- Then? - Yeah.

Ten years ago, as you know, I lost your grandma.

Round then, she lost her husband too.

We met again and talked.

It shocked me.

Even though 40 years had passed…

that love hadn't faded one bit.

Her delicate face... innocent eyes...

like they'd shatter if ya touched 'em...

like spun sugar...

- Who was she...? - Yeah.

It was Hana.

Nuppon! (Sex joke punchline again – "Get laid!")

Wish I hadn't heard that.

Turns out those women just came for the free meals, travel cash, 'n souvenirs...

They were just here for the free vacation!

- I had a feeling from the start. - Ran isn't that kind of woman.

- Sue-san isn't that kind of person, y'know. - Miki-san isn't that kind of person, y'know.

Then why do all three of you have Rika-chan's number?

Maybe they're using the gifts you gave them to spoil their boyfriends?

Sorry, I couldn't help it...

Um... is this alright?

If possible, another shot of you pouring the sauce.

Sauce on curry?

Spoon in a cup?

A village! Japan's countryside!

A cheerful farming village!

Hey, what're you doing, huh?

Make it look rural, rural and simple, okay?

Yes.

Don't mock us!

POWERFUL INSECTICIDE HIGH EARTH (HAI ĀSU)

It's Mizuda!

So retro.

So rustic.

No matter how cute she is, if she's a dimwit…

That's right-pya, we haven't fallen that low-pya.

Mmm~dappi, mmm~dappi

Yasuo, wait! Yasuo, wait! Yasuo, hey!

She left?

She gone. She's not here, y'know.

- It's your fault! - What're you doing?

It's your fault!

Why... What did...

- Shut up! - Quiet down!

I feel like I've seen that woman somewhere before, y'know.

Mmm... can't take it! Withdrawal symptoms!

♪ Sleep now, good little baby

"Folktales from Japan" ♪ Unchanged from past to present

♪ A mother's loving lullaby ♪ A mother's loving lullaby

♪ Tales from the distant past

Village chief! This is a big mess-ppya!

The youth group said they're going to Tokyo and left-ppya.

Huh?

Your type?

Quit it! You're going to blow our cover-ppya!

Don't talk, you'll mess things up-ppya!

At least one photo of that one-length hairstyle…

Anyway, you can't pull it off, y'know.

They said said was gonna blow off some steam and stormed out-ppya.

Stayed at our Yukiko's place while touring soaplands...

And on top of that, said they'd collect candid photos of amateur girls-ppya.

That's a good one-ppya.

- Right? - What's so great about that?

Don't ya think it's pathetic?

If this keeps up, they'll abandon the village!

Listen up, time we got serious about this.

It's already 11 o'clock-ppya, there's gotta be one somewhere ppi.

Where the heck did Yukiko's dummy go-ppya?

Twisted, that's twisted-ppya!

You know, I slept on it for three whole days and nights and thought hard-ppya.

On the 10th next month, this Yamada Village,

we're revivin' the Ofuku Festival!

It continued all the way since the days of Emperor Daigo…

But it died out about a hundred years ago…

That Ofuku Festival's comin' back!

- Ofuku Festival? - Never heard of it!

Hell, this village...

founded by the old guy who hunted dabocha, remember?

Village chief!

There's someone here to see ya.

MOMOSAKURA TSUYOSHI PRODUCER HOJI TV

Oho! She's here.

Listen up, everyone,

this year's entire welfare budget is being offered to this person-ppya!

Put simply, it's hush money-ppya.

Welfare budget?

What about the gateball court-ppya?

This village ain't sweet enough to attract brides just with idealism-ppya.

Who's more important? The dying or the bride?

Don't ya wanna see yer grandkids?

- What matters more? - The old folks…

Let 'em juggle dabocha beans or whatever-ppya.

Damn right!

What the hell is this?

Come on, hurry it up, you know what to do, right?

Yeah, spin quick like that, if you don't move fast, you won't make it…

Well now, Kanda,

you ain't changed since our kamikaze days.

- Neither have you one bit. - Oh?

You really took me for a ride at gambling, huh…

Alright, alright, alright… let's maybe drop that topic…

Let's just set that aside for now.

Hooray! The revival of the Ofuku Festival, dating back to Emperor Daigo's reign!

- Yeah. - And the youth group's bride hunt!

This is gonna be...

- ...prime material for Chikyu Roman! - Damn right, pyah!

Yeah, yeah! Let's do this! Let's go!

Dis is my home.

Okay, yes!

Huh?

- Let go, pyah! Stop! Let go, pyah! - Wait, pyah!

Yukiko!

See? That English school's paying off, pyah!

Fluent as hell, pyah! Seriously fluent, pyah!

When did you turn into a damn hussy, pyah!

Yukiko, you traitor!

B... Brother!

Scram! Sneaking around with foreigners...

What the hell were you thinking, pyah!

You should've given us a chance first, pyah!

We've been throwing stones for three days and nights-ppya!

- You're twisted, pyah! Get lost! - Scram!

Scram! Scram! Scram! Scram!

Scram! Scram! Scram!

Scram! Scram! Ah!

Brother! That hurts!

Good evening, everyone. Chikyu Roman.

Today, we visit Yamada Village, struggling with depopulation and a bride shortage.

Now, on the 10th next month, in this village...

...the Ofuku Festival will be revived.

Passed down since Emperor Daigo's era...

this elegant festival steeped in tradition will finally return.

Now, let's welcome Yamada Village's mayor...

to the stage. Please.

Ah, it's the mayor, pyah!

- Mayor... - Old man?

Emperor Daigo? Ofuku Festival?

What's all this, pyah?

We...

To mark the revival of the Otafuku Festival,

we, the Yamada Village Youth Group,

would like to host a mass matchmaking event

with the lovely ladies watching this program.

Now let me introduce the finest members of our Young Men's Association.

- This is Koichi Iori... - On TV... We're on TV...

They're promoting us on TV-ppya!

Big bro! Big bro!

Ueno-ppya Which way is Ueno-ppya?

We're celebrities-ppya We're famous now-ppya!

Women'll come flockin' to us now, pya!

Women-ppya! Women-ppya!

First time in three years we'll get laid, eh!

Ah, hello? Is Koichi there? I'm his friend Sasaki.

Sasaki from the Young Men's Association. Koichi...

Huh? Tokyo? Ah, do you have his contact info?

We're, uh... old friends, yes.

We've been friends forever.

Now then... for women wishing to marry here...

We'd like to set strict conditions.

Yamada Village follows time-honored traditions, so...

Our standards of beauty differ from Tokyo's.

These types, or these, or these...

Frankly speaking, they're trash, eh!

I'd really like someone like this to come To Yamada Village...

Yamada Village's...

- Shudder. - I myself...

earnestly seek ladies who embody...

traditional beauty, eh!

Big bro...

The youth group is back-ppya.

They saw the first part on TV...

But don't know about the ugly women segment, ppya!

Oh really? Perfect.

Now brides will come.

Ugly women who can't get a second glance...

will come flocking for their last chance, eh!

Village chief!

All that "Emperor" and "festival" nonsense was made up...

but these are real radishes from my farm.

Made too many, ppya! Have some!

Old man...

Made a bit too many, eh! Play with these when you're bored!

Howdy. Made too many posthumous names...

Have one on me, eh! Here, take your pick!

Chief, Got a bit carried away cutting...

This is Gontarō-san's appendix.

Whoa! Amazing! Go go! Woo!

Hey Yasuo, you did great, ppya!

That big head ain't just for show, ya know!

Name, Age, Height.

B-W-H! Beauty rating, Figure rating.

Virgin, Non-virgin.

But to the point that you need to organize them on a computer...?

- Are that many women actually coming? - Doc!

Don't you know the power of the media?

You don't even have to join the matchmaking meeting, y'know-ppya.

Just like everyone says. When the media stirs things up...

Even innocent folks can get branded as murderers.

Brilliant!

That's our doctor for ya!

Debauchery and indulgence-ppya.

Will you break up with me?

What…? Why all of a sudden?

I'm scared I'll make you miserable-ppya.

It's true-ppya.

Typical you — sayin' it after gettin' what you wanted.

You... scum!

You bastard! Plannin' to join the matchmaking?

You really… really prefer city girls that much-ppya?

Scum! Scum! Scum!

Got it.

Stop it, you guys!

Cut it out! Aah! Hey!

Everyone, stop!

Hey! Knock it off!

Hey! You lot!

Why don't you stop?

This thing's a wild-grown dabochya, y'know.

- You got no right to complain-ppya. - If you smash the dabochya...

- you'll be cursed! - Hah! With something like this around...

- Women will run for their lives-ppya. - In the city...

...they ain't got lame stuff like this.

♪ Homage to the sacred

♪ Praise the holy gourd

♪ Oh pitiful gourd

Don't destroy nature!

You're that girl from before...

How cruel...

You still here?

Grandma's still alive too...

Um...

I feel like... I've seen you somewhere.

Why are you doing this?

We must keep modernizing our village.

No brides will come otherwise.

Japan's distortions need gradual correction.

You're the ones who are distorted.

If you hate it here, go to Tokyo.

- I might be overstepping... - But it's definitely overstepping.

The matchmaking will surely fail.

- Where ya goin'? - But she's cute.

- That's basically a cult. - Otherwise, it's just nonsense-ppya.

- What a waste. - If you get involved...

If it possesses you Evil spirit, begone! Evil spirit, begone!

Recite the prayers!

I told you there'd be a curse.

- "O"! - "Say good morning!"

- "A"! - "Say thank you!"

- "Shi"! - "Be kind!"

- "Su"! - "Live honestly!"

A VILLAGE WITHOUT AESTHETIC SENSE YAMADA VILLAGE YOUTH ASSOCIATION GROUP MATCHMAKING IS THE KEY YAMADA PUMPKIN ETERNAL?

THIS WEEK'S HIGHLIGHT TARO UEHARA'S WEEKLY VIEW A LAST CHANCE FOR YOU WHO CAN'T GIVE UP YAMADA VILLAGE GROUP MATCHMAKING

"SAVIOR" YAMADA VILLAGE GROUP MATCHMAKING THE UGLIER YOU ARE, THE BETTER YOUR CHANCE TO BE A BRIDE

A VILLAGE WHERE EVEN YOU CAN BECOME A WIFE YAMADA VILLAGE'S PROFIT AND LOSS CALCULATIONS ARE ATTRACTING ATTENTION

The plan worked.

All Japan's unwanted women will flood in.

But even if our men are desperate...

They're not blind.

So the village must unite to trick 'em.

Back them into a corner with no escape...

Whether they cry, scream, or get beaten half-dead...

We'll force 'em to marry!

One week till the Otafuku Festival.

When something's on TV, we'll cut the power.

Any magazine featuring Yamada Village will be bought out by the town hall.

Only by sacrificing ourselves can we find salvation.

That's what I learned in the Kamikaze Attack Unit.

Now the Kamikaze Attack Unit is reborn!

Revived right here in Yamada Village!

Scatter, young warriors!

WELCOME OTAFUKU FESTIVAL ORGANIZED BY YAMADA VILLAGE OFFICE

For the village's future, scatter like cherry blossoms!

You are Yamada's glorious youth brigade,

The Kaiten Special Attack Unit!

Hey, it's lit!

Hell yeah! Let's do this!

Whoo! Time for wine, women, and song!

See...?

Take this!

Whoo! Nice!

Fwoosh... Got it.

- Yep, perfect. - We won't lose!

Huh?

Namu Daishi Henjō Kongō

Nuppon nuppon Nuppon nuppon

Nuppon nuppon nuppon

Here it comes!

Whoa, this is way more than I expected!

Their eyebrows are totally connected-ppya.

What a charming village! The air's so fresh too.

I'm really glad you like it.

It's really lovely. Where are we?

Yamada Village.

Yamada Village?

No way...

No way... Impossible!

Sorry, Kameko!

Farewell!

Wait! Koji-saaan!

Be happy now!

You tricked me!

Move! I'll run you over! I mean it!

Don't abandon me!

I brought you this far. That's love for ya.

Don't leave me behind!

Poor dears. There, there...

Damn, impressive.

Even if we split 'em up, we'd each get 30 women easy. Hah!

Somethin's fishy.

Inventing that Otafuku Festival was clever, but...

But handing out masks at the station? That's just weird-ppya.

Even stranger is how the village chief and them are acting-ppya.

The chiefs?

My... my vision's getting blurry-ppi...

My head's splitting open-ppya...

That's a whole parade of monsters!

I'd feel the same if you saw those women's real faces-ppya!

- Aagh... keep it together now. - Anyway...

On the busiest festival day...

It's weird they're lettin' us laze around.

The chiefs are plottin' somethin'.

A scheme?

Listen. All these women came...

But they rigged it so we can't see their faces.

They've got us trapped here.

Put those two things together, and there's only one conclusion-ppya.

- Oh crap! - The village elders...

They're gonna strike first and snatch up all the good women.

That's totally possible.

'Special Attack Force' my ass — they're just bunch of idiots!

We've gotta come up with some kind of plan.

WIFE AND HUSBAND

What-pya is this sign?

It's the kamikaze squad's top-secret mission-ppya.

What a bunch of happy-go-lucky fools.

Alright, let's go.

We booked a pricey band from Tokyo.

Make it flashy!

- The dawn of Japan... - Is Yamada Village!

Top Gorgeous and Yamada Minoru - Wife Tsunami (Kome Kome Club)

♪ Haa~ Bride Tsunami

♪ Haa~ Bride Tsunami

♪ Haa~ Bride Tsunami

♪ Haa~ Bride Tsunami

♪ Girls at eighteen, eighteen prime for the picking

♪ Men at forty-two, forty-two cursed years ahead

♪ Mountain Rice Farm Village Tonight

♪ Get Into The Hurricane

♪ Mountain Rice Farm Village Tonight

♪ Tonight I won't let you go

♪ Dowry money

She's a city girl from the capital region, a real "gal" -ppya.

Good riddance, I say.

We're celebrating today too!

I'm so happy!

Seriously.

♪ Haa~ Bride Tsunami

♪ Haa~ Bride Tsunami

♪ Haa~ Bride Tsunami

♪ Haa~ Bride Tsunami

♪ Take a bride, take a bride say goodbye to dreams

♪ Want your dreams, want your dreams say goodbye to brides

♪ Mountain Rice Farm Village Tonight

♪ Get Into The Hurricane

♪ Mountain Rice Farm Village Tonight

♪ This world's nothing but lies anyway

♪ A bride's fortune

♪ When the wild waves come crashing in

♪ Fox and Tanuki's Bridal Splash

♪ Mountain Rice Farm Village Tonight

♪ Get Into The Hurricane

♪ Mountain Rice Farm Village Tonight

♪ We'll show you a mud fight

♪ Bride Tsunami

♪ Haa! Bride Tsunami

♪ Haa! Bride Tsunami

♪ Haa! Bride Tsunami

Alright folks, it's finally showtime!

Men of Yamada Village Youth Corps, Kaiten Special Attack Squad!

The moment has arrived!

Got your targets locked in?

Now, sortie!

On three!

Showtime!

Take off the masks!

No way...

Friendship dance!

Monsters!

- Monsters! - Monsters!

Pya!

Aah! Pya! Pya! Pya!

Aah! It stink!

They're coming... Ah! Help me!

Stay back! Ah! Stay back!

Dabo-cha...

Is this your damn curse or somethin'?

What the hell are we s'posed to do now?

Goddammit!

Let's pretend none of this happened.

I've forgotten every last bit of it.

Even after all that was done to us...

I never got it up once.

Me neither.

- The heart don't lie. - I...

I got it up full of rage.

Those six shots were my fury.

- Yasuo... - What the hell are you doin'?

Ah... Please forgive me!

H-have mercy!

Look! This guy's the best lookin' one!

I'm just a clown, please have mercy!

Nooo! I don't want this!

Ah! Now I remember!

You're...

How'd it go?

They went back home.

- Why? - The youth group...

They didn't like that boys resisted them.

Well… anyone would wanna resist.

If we were chased around by things like them…

Even if we killed and buried them…

It'd be self-defense.

MAIDEN'S MASQUERADE REIKA AYANOKOJI

PLANET BIBIMBAP REIKA AYANOKOJI

ARIES IN THE FLOWER GARDEN REIKA AYANOKOJI

Look! Look here!

Knew I'd seen her somewhere before.

Holy shit! This is insane!

No, seriously, I'm stunned.

You were readin' this book?

Even got red lines under stuff.

No matchmaking, no events allowed.

Ain't got no moves left, do ya?

Righteous village! Righteous village! Righteous village!

Righteous village! Righteous village! Righteous village! Righteous village!

Wh... what the hell?

Old man, how dare you trick us like that?

- When'd I trick ya? - Quit playin' dumb.

- We ain't that stupid. - Forgotten about the "Oasis Movement"?

- Say thank you? - As if!

Still, we do understand how eager you are to get us wives.

Let's forget this whole incident ever happened.

In return! Keep your noses outta our movement.

- Movement? - Don't you dare.

You can't play baseball in the branch schoolyard.

Not that kind of movement.

Let the Righteous Village Movement begin!

Koichi! Do somethin' about this!

Ah, this is bad! Hey! You lot, stop it!

We'll make Yamada Village a righteous village!

We'll ditch electricity and cars, make it a primitive village!

You're insane... Destroyin' things? What're you thinkin'?

Old man, spending big money to gather up a bunch of ugly girls you can't look at…

That's real destruction of the village, right there!

This is the construction of a new village, ppya!

What the heck does that even mean?

We're not going to be half-hearted farmers full-blown backcountry farmers it is!

If cities attack with civilization, we'll counter with primal ways!

If the weapons are different, we can fight on equal ground.

Once we're equals, there won't be no bride shortage!

That's a mighty rash conclusion!

Get a grip, you lot! Calm down!

Who put you up to this?

Do you know her? The genius girl writer, Ayakoji Reika?

Aya... Aya... Aya?

Come on, old man, you don't know her? Seriously?

Her words, which capture the hearts of the masses...

They're drivin' us to this fight!

This is the only way to fix the bride shortage!

We did it! We did it!

We did it! The town hall's got no appliances left!

- Everyone's finally woken up! - Alright, next target-ppya!

I was wrong. I admit it, ppya.

You're a bit late.

Not late! I finally realized you're the best...

I get it now.

I'm goin' to Tokyo tomorrow.

At the festival, I got totally hooked.

I've decided to become a full-time groupie for Mai Mai Club, ppya.

- That's Kome Kome Club*! - Whatever, same difference.

* The band that played at the festival

If it gets me outta here...

'Maimai' or 'Komekome' all the same to me.

Take care now.

But you said you hated the city!

Seems it's time for you to join the righteous Village Movement too.

Righteous Village? Some new cult?

Move! Do you even know who this person is?

The genius girl writer, Miss Ayakoji Reika!

Let's build a Righteous Village without TVs or radios!

Ditch electricity and cars...

Make it a primal village!

If cities come with civilization, we attack with primal ways!

Let Yamada pumpkins bloom 60 years from now!

Reika's words opened our eyes.

If the weapons are different, we can fight evenly. And once it's even...

There won't be a bride shortage anymore!

What the heck has happened to everyone, ppya…

Don't ya want women?

Build a proper village, and we'll have wine, women, and song!

Fine ladies crave romance.

- Look! - Look!

See?

A giant screen as far as the eye can see, with surround sound system!

This village can win.

Toshiba's "Black Stripe"...

Sony's "Profile"...

We'll win for sure.

S... so anyway, next is the community hall.

What now?

♪ Haa~ Bride Tsunami!

- Wh... what's this?! - It's the Righteous Village Movement!

Wait!

'Waku Waku Animal Land' 'Waku Waku Animal Land'

Destroy it... please.

Sea otters!

Pandas! Koalas! Upa-Rupas!

African horned frogs! Frilled lizards!

Koichi-san!

We planted the dynamite!

Take this place out, and we're completely cut off from the city.

Phone lines are cut. Glory's right around the corner!

Reika'll be thrilled.

I don't care if you're some genius girl novelist or whatever…

You think it's funny to make farmers into a joke?

I'm not mocking anyone.

What were you thinking, smashing folks' TVs?

What were you thinking... ruining the pumpkin fields, ppya!?

Quit yappin', little girl.

You fool!

I'm… not just being selfish.

I love this village.

I want to make it my home.

I want a hometown.

Even if you smash the TV, you can't make this a hometown, I tell ya.

I'll make it my hometown.

I'll make Yamada Village my hometown.

I'll do whatever it takes.

Looking at you really pisses me off!

Follow me.

Why won't you join the Righteous Village Movement?

You're dead wrong about this, I tell ya.

If you really wanna live in this village...

...can you handle this stench?

It's nose-bending dabocha pickles in fermented kusaya broth-ppya.

If you truly wanna become a native of Yamada Village...

...then slurp this soup!

Get down and dirty with the village!

You...

Reika! You okay? Hey!

I can't... breathe...

Damn, you really tried. My bad.

That was brutal of me.

This stuff's actually kinda good-ppya.

- Stop! - Hold up!

- Stop! - Wait!

How far are you guys gonna keep being fools-ppya?

If you blow up the tunnel, no supplies will get in.

No curry, no coffee — nothing, da-ppya!

Curry...

Why don't you all wake the hell up-ppya?

That Reika chick, genius or not...

she's just a total airhead-ppya.

It's about time you realized that-ppya.

- Reika ain't no fool! - Yeah, Reika's not...

- Not a fool! - Reika!

But is she really not a fool?

Truth is, three days ago, I tried sneaking into Reika's cave.

And then she...

Alright then, let's have a review quiz!

How many toes does a polar bear have?

She was playing 'Waku Waku Animal Land', I tell ya.

I tried sneaking into Reika's place last night too, I tell ya.

Then, Reika...

But then, Reika was like... "Now then! Let's review with a quiz!"

I'm done with this nonsense-ppya.

Yesterday, I went down to town and arranged a group meetin'...

...with the women from Shimobara Battery Factory.

This time it'll work out.

They were into it too. We're finally getting brides-ppya!

Right? Huh?

What's goin' on?

Found it!

Reika!

What're you doin' out here?

Why do we gotta clean up...

...after the old man's mess?

You guys started this whole thing, didn't you? What were you thinking?

- Reika-san? - What happened?

And you, sensei, what are you doing interviewing in the middle of the mountains?

I bet she was thinking of an idea for a book.

Writer's life's tough, ain't it?

Yes... yes it is.

Deadline's loommin' too.

Hey, write 'bout us in your next novel.

'Bout the pure, beautiful countryside...

And the dumbasses who blew up a tunnel, pya?

Huh?

These idiots did it just to impress Reika...

...by blastin' that tunnel.

Total morons, I tell ya!

Sure, we're a "Righteous" village now...

...but without supplies, we'll starve!

How's any romance-seekin' gal gonna get here?

Hmm? For a "Righteous" village?

Today was a bust. But we'll make it right tomorrow!

We'll smash Gosaku's karaoke machine.

Tako's electric wasabi grinder first.

We've mostly cleared out our relatives' appliances.

Totally. Even my clinic…

Can't see a damn thing...

Oops, messed that up.

There are plenty of inconveniences, sure.

Me too, yesterday, a candle flame caught fire...

and blew up my workshop, y'know.

Me too, yesterday...

But still, the Righteous Village is the best, y'know.

That's right, that's right! That's how we'll get brides, y'know. Yeah.

Every day feels like a field trip and war games...

It's fun, ain't it?

So fun, y'know. So fun!

Hey... we're glad we met you...

Ugh... Reika.

Ugh, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!

My heart and body are at war.

My heart longs for the village...

but my body craves modern appliances...

I'm sorry!

I'm sorry.

Forgive me... Ugh...

We're happy! We really are!

We'll be happy forever, y'know.

Manga Japanese Folktales (まんが日本昔ばなし) opening theme

♪ Good boy, sweet child...

♪ Unchanged from past to present

♪ A mother's loving lullaby

♪ A tale from ages past

♪ Dreams unravel like petals falling

♪ Princess Kaguya blooms like a flower

♪ Human kindness brings happiness

♪ Gently carried by the Jizo statue

Everyone, please forgive me.

If we're just talking retro shows...

This is still the Righteous Village, y'know.

Watching "Bright Rural Life" on TV that's a Righteous village too!

Today's Christmas, y'know.

Celebrating Christmas while watching TV...

- That's rural cheerfulness too, ‘ppya! - Exactly!

Yamada Village has always been the Righteous Village.

It's mostly uncool, but it's the Righteous Village, ppya.

Righteous Village-ppya! Village-ppya! Village-ppya!

Village-ppya! Village-ppya! Village-ppya!

Thank you, thank you.

Thank you.

Everyone, thank you for everything.

Yamada Village has truly become my home.

I don't get it, then why are you leaving, ‘ppya?

If it's about writing a novel, you could just write it here, ‘ppya!

"Red and White Song Battle" NHK annual New Year's Eve Special

I want to watch "Kōhaku Uta Gassen".

After watching the "Kōhaku", I always regret it,

but I can't help watching.

Even knowing I'll regret it, I can't stop watching.

Then, just watch it on my TV.

Yodobashi Camera Song (ﾖﾄﾞﾊﾞｼｶﾒﾗの歌) A commercial sung to the melody of the Battle Hymn of the Republic

♪ Green Yamanote Line

♪ Chuo Line runs through the center

♪ Shinjuku West Exit Station...

That's not what she meant, ‘ppya!

I love Yamada Village.

I love Yamada Village.

Reika! Reika!

- Reika! - Reika!

You gotta write a book about us for sure!

I'll write it! I'll definitely write it!

You're still here?

You're still alive?

I just can't die-ppya.

By some dumb girl...

Getting my flower picked would be a damn shame-pii.

It bloomed! It bloomed!

Bloomed, it bloomed!

Bloomed, bloomed, it bloomed!

Fundara bokkya!

Koichi, a letter for ya.

Dear all, My days in Yamada Village...

are filled with so many memories that make me blush to recall.

Now I spend my days in regret and reflection.

The book about Yamada Village I promised you all...

is coming along smoothly now.

To me, Yamada Village will always be home.

Even though I left so soon, it's still my hometown.

Because all of you are such wonderful people.

Next time I visit, maybe you'll have wives...

or even children?

Maybe Yamada Pumpkins will sell so well...

that I can eat 'em in Tokyo too?

Long live Yamada Village.

I'll write again soon.

This tastes great! Ain't stinky at all!

What're ya eatin' that for?

If the women come and the flowers are wilted, we're screwed-ppya.

You really think women will come-ppya?

Of course they'll come-ppya. Listen up,

Reika's book comes out March 20th.

On March 21st, this village will be overflowing with women, ppya.

All admiring us.

I'm the one who asked her to write the book-ppya.

I'm definitely the main character-ppya. Just as planned-ppya.

This time... it's gonna be paradise-ppya!

Paradise! Yeah!

Um... Sensei?

I can't do it.

If I write it down, it'll all become cliché.

My pen can't capture it properly.

I feel like writing it would destroy everything.

I don't want to ruin it.

Tha... No, that can't be...

- What's that? - What is it?

- What is it? - Hey, what's this thing?

- What is it? - It's sparkling... shimmering...

What is this?

What in the world is this?

It's Yamada pumpkin pollen.

- Really? - It's beautiful, ppya.

Riding the wind, wonder how far it'll travel.

Hope these pumpkins spread all across Japan, ppya.

Yeah...

Translated by Everlasting Proofing, italics and extras by Dougal666