Original subtitles

You know, the people in Bali are just so kind.

But is it cheap still?

'Cause I heard from a mate, he was like, he went,

he went there thinking it was gonna be cheap,

and all of a sudden, cost him a fucking fortune.

Yeah, I, I go there so much now, though,

I'm like a local.

Like, I don't say at all the, the real busy places.

- Yeah. - Like, I go to Kuta.

I know some of the language like nasi goreng.

I think that goes a long way.

- What's that? - Nasi goreng, I'm not sure.

- What's it mean? - But I say it a lot.

Get on the plane, like, "Nasi goreng."

I think it means, like,

rice that's fried with stuff.

Mate, I think you are fried.

I've been to Bali, like, 25 times,

and I, look, I really, I, you, you are a man

with ambition who doesn't care if he's wrong,

- and you just go about. - Mm-hmm.

All right guys, I...

Oh, oh.

I got it. I got it.

Oh, that's a fucking real,

that's a, that's a real man.

Oh.

Now that's a nasi goreng.

Yep.

I reckon it's pee-pee time.

Yeah, all right.

Oh.

You sure you're not gonna have a chunder, are ya?

- I'll be all right. - You sure?

Thinking custardy custard.

Have another one, mate.

Oh, fuck.

Go ahead and take one, mate.

- Oh, fucking hell. - Jesus.

All right, apparently,

the tent's set to do ya, mate.

Yeah, especially when you're ugly.

What the fuck?

Where the hell is this guy?

Maybe we got scammed.

Yeah, Liam definitely got us scammed.

Babe, look. Trust me.

This, this is the real Australia, right?

- Right. - Out here in the wild.

You know, man versus nature.

Yeah, sounds great.

You know, Australia has more deadly animals

per square mile than anywhere on earth.

Kilometers.

What?

Per square kilometer.

Uh, sweetheart, I don't follow.

Nevermind.

Saltwater crocs, taipans, funnel web spiders,

death adders, there are so many, and I wanna see 'em all.

Please keep going, Ollie.

Man, I love this guy.

Yeah.

He knows his shit, man.

Yeah, yeah, we're gonna see some,

we're gonna see some real wildlife out here.

Are you okay, champ?

What?

Oh, this heat, you know?

Like you got ants in your pants, Liam.

Just tingling sensation, that's all.

- Mm. - Weird.

So after this, what's next?

What?

You mean after we survive the most deadly country on earth?

Yeah, I mean, like, where are we going to next?

Well, there's so much stuff to see.

We could go to Patagonia

or, or, or, or, or the Pacific Trail.

I mean, you would love the Pacific Trail.

Or we could go somewhere and, like, stay awhile.

Uh, yeah, I mean, yeah, we could,

but I mean, where's fun in that?

Yeah, where's the fun in that?

Right.

Wait, guys. Is that, that's, that's Stevo, guys.

- Oh. - Stevo.

- Stevo. - Stevey.

- Stevey. - Whoa.

- Come back. - Good day.

Whoa, God.

- All right, man. - Whoo.

G'day, folks.

Welcome, you bloody legends, to the Stevo Irving

Crocodile Punter Extreme Wildlife Experience.

And you're about to have the most bat shit insane

Aussie adventure of your lives.

- Yeah. - Whoo.

How the bloody hell are ya?

No, I don't think this is the legit Steve.

Definitely not.

Hey, go chuck your bags in the back,

strap in, and let's gets you out

to where the real action happens, eh?

Oh, Bazza here'll make sure

we've got the right people

and that your waiter performs a song.

Bloody sausage fingers.

If I get murdered out here, my mom's suing.

Get murdered out here, and no one's gonna find our bodies.

Trust me.

You'll be telling your grandkids about this trip.

If you survive.

Joking, you're all right. Come on.

- Yes. - Come on.

- That's our job. - It's not fucking funny.

No rest for the wicked.

Hey, Mr. Irving, I think you're going a little fast.

Mate, if you're not flying, you're not driving.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, boy.

I hate this.

This is sick.

Where exactly are we going?

First step on your official Aussie initiation,

opal fossick.

What about the drop bears?

Mate, they only come out at dusk.

- The drop bears aren't real. - Yeah.

Aren't they?

I lost my cousin to a drop bear, mate.

- No way. - Yes way.

Swear on me Mom's grave if she were dead.

Took his head clean off.

Cool.

This is so stupid.

Is that right, sweetheart?

Be shitting bricks soon enough.

What?

Now if you look out here, what you'll see

is pristine Aussie living.

There's no cities. There's no traffic.

There's no rules.

That's right.

Just you and nature.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Babe, gotta soak it in.

Yeah? Soak this in.

No service, Wi-Fi, there's no point.

Hey, uh, what's that place?

It's just an old research facility, mate.

It's, uh, been shut down for years.

It's nothing interesting, mate.

All right.

Ah.

That's the smell of the real Aussie Outback.

Yeah, smells like home.

- Oh, Jesus Christ. - Bro, bro, what is that?

Oh, oh, God.

Oh, my God.

Well, looks like we found dinner.

Oh, that's disgusting.

What the hell did that?

That's nature, mate.

It's the circle of life.

Yep.

Or some lion shit.

This isn't a dingo kill.

The wounds are too precise.

Should we be worried?

We're all right, sweetheart,

top of the food chain out here.

Yeah, usually.

Ah, don't breathe near me.

Right.

First things first, we set up camp,

we get a fire going, and then the real fun begins.

Folks, chop, chop.

- Okay. - Let's get ready.

Come on.

Hey, um, I'm not sure I'm feeling it this time.

Every time, it's getting more riskier, mate.

Come on, Baz.

You're acting like we've had a problem.

It's not about if we've got a problem.

It's about when we've got a problem.

Baz, we do what we always do.

We take 'em out for a good time.

We give 'em up for few scares,

make sure they leave lighter than they came.

And if they don't fucking leave?

Then we take care of it like we always do.

Yeah, I don't know, mate.

The last lot were pretty messy.

Gotta work for the cash, mate.

Sure.

I just don't think I'm feeling it this time.

Baz, all you're feeling is our screaming hangover.

All right?

Come on. Get your head straight, mate.

Hey.

Bow don't go there, sweetheart.

You're not building a modern art piece, are ya?

You could help instead of finishing a 10th beer.

Ooh.

Ooh.

You want some Bazza, do ya?

Well, Bazza can't

because Bazza is on wood.

Good idea, Baz, good idea.

- Fucking great. - All right.

♪ Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, off to chop wood I go ♪

Now fire, fire is the heart of the camp.

It takes patience.

It's an ancient survival art.

You need to respect the process, all right?

Yeah.

Riveting.

You sure you know what you're

Course I bloody know.

It's in my blood.

Can't we just use a lighter?

Nope, fucking nope.

Let me show you how the pros do it.

There's no shortcuts.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, whatever, fucking flippety flop.

Uh, that, that, that seems a little dangerous.

Mate, that's the point.

No pain, no gain.

Oi, oi.

Come on.

Ya like fire, do ya, little man?

- I love fire. - Yeah, yeah.

- Ya fucking love it? - Yeah.

- Ya love it? - Yeah.

Yeah? Well, fucking move back.

No, come a little closer.

- Oh, okay. - Yeah, stop.

- All right. - Just kidding.

Fuck off. Get back.

Stevo, you're gonna want to move back a bit

unless you want your cock burned again.

- Oh, oh. - Oh, fucking yes.

You're gonna wanna move... This is my part

- of the show. - Outta way, way, mate.

This is my... You're gonna wanna move

outta the way.

Bazza, fucking hell, Bazza.

Bazza.

Wait, Baz. This is my, fuck.

Trying to kill me.

- Oh. - Fucking hell, Baz.

Whoa.

- Holy shit. - The fuck?

God, get up.

Holy shit.

- Dude. - It is going now.

That was sick.

Yes, mate, that was fucking sick.

That was sicker than a kid with leukemia.

I fucking would've done it another minute or so.

Shoulda, would a, could a, but fucking didn't.

Fuck's sake, Bazza, every fucking time, mate.

Yep.

Your tent's still fucked, by the way.

Fuck's sake, Bazza.

Chop, chop on your tents,

and there's two ways of doing fires,

you know, the traditional ancient survival art way,

which is what I was teaching you, which I am an expert in,

um, which is you're rubbing it together,

and then there's Bazza's way, which is methylated spirits

Why didn't you... and flammable liquids.

Mate, fuck's sake.

These guys are fucking crazy.

Right, now that we're all settled,

it's time for a little Aussie adventure.

Oh.

Ooh.

Yay, more.

Have you ever heard of fossicking?

Fossicking.

Fossicking, babe, huh?

Fossicking.

- Fossicking. - Yeah, you mean

like digging for gemstones?

There's someone who knows.

You lucky bastards are gonna be hunting for opals.

Sick, let's do it.

I hate everything about this.

Oh, come on, babe.

Wait, Baz, Baz, Baz.

Fuck, I'm up.

Go scout ahead. Get the good stuff, eh?

Oh, yeah, fuck yeah.

Right, now Bazza here is gonna go for a little walkabout,

but don't worry about him because, in the meantime, you, me,

all of us are gonna be hunting for the jewels of the bush.

- Oh. - 'Kay?

So strap in. Get yourselves ready.

Let's get stuck in, shall we?

Right, chop, chop, let's get going.

Oh, strap in and strap on.

- Chop, chop. - Oh, oh.

Milady.

Right this way.

That'll do.

Yeah, that'll do.

That's good, Baz. That's good, man.

Hide-and-seek champion 1995.

Dumb bloody Yanks.

Did you even bring wipes?

Careful with that one. That's a big one.

You guys are all right. It's just the local wildlife.

All right, folks.

Opals could be anywhere.

Whoo.

What the hell are we digging for?

Whoo.

Whoo, would ya look at that?

Oh.

An opal.

Oh, it's beautiful, Stevo.

You found that in a tree?

Oh, you see, Aussie wildlife,

Aussie birds sometimes grab 'em and stash 'em in trees.

Aw.

That doesn't sound right.

What are you, some sort of expert

in Aussie geology there, mate?

Opals form underground. They're mined.

They're not just laying around in trees.

I knew it. This whole thing's a scam.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- Yeah, yeah. - Yeah.

Here, have a look, mate.

No, no, no, it's real, and it's, and it's beautiful,

and you know what?

I'm gonna call it Jess.

Aw.

That's the way, Liam.

That was planted.

Hey, let's not jump to, uh, you know,

to any conclusions or anything.

Holy shit.

Oh, my... Oh, oh.

Oh, my, my God.

- Get her back. - Oh, God, did you see that?

Oh.

Stevo.

Halt this minute.

Stand back. Stand back.

If you don't move, it won't.

Fuck.

- Oh. - No, no.

- Hey, hey. - Ollie.

- Kill it, Stevo. - Kill that bastard.

Lucifer Morningstar in serpent form.

Holy fucking shit.

Bazza, no.

Fuck off, snake.

Break him. Kill it.

Kill that bastard. Kill it.

Yeah.

Oh.

- Steve. - Steve.

Oh, that was fucking amazing.

Oh, I swore, dammit.

Oh, my God.

Bazza just saved our lives.

I, uh, I totally had under control.

You? You fucking asshole.

You just ran behind me. I could have died.

No, uh, I tactically retreated

to reposition myself to attack.

No, mate, you prayed.

No, I didn't.

I'm a, I'm an expert in black belt martial arts,

and sensei says sometimes

you've gotta reposition yourself to attack,

and that's what I did.

Hope you're not paying for those classes, mate,

'cause you're fucking shit.

More opals to be found, so, uh, cheers, Baz.

Just go find the opals, dude.

Well done, all right.

I'll clean up. I'll see you back at camp.

All right, you can fuck off.

Right, okay, um.

Okay, let's go.

I just saw a snake.

Come on, shall we?

- Come on, big boy. - Wow.

This way, babe.

- All right, lads. - I guess we can go.

Mm.

Mm.

Authentic bush tucker.

Hey.

This is authentic Aussie bush tucker.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, excuse me.

There is nothing better than a can of baked beans,

especially when you get it for a buck from Chippy.

Fuck, that's cheap.

- It's fucking cheap. - I love a,

I love a bargain.

Mm.

Mm.

Man, I really wanna wrestle a croc.

Yeah, uh, you would lose that fight. Trust me.

Ollie.

You okay?

Yeah, I'm just tired,

Babe, you're always tired.

I'm sorry.

What's that?

Oh, nothing.

You have to tell him sooner or later.

It...

Hey, we should be careful out here at night.

In Australia, there are so many ways to kill you.

Like Bazza, blah.

- That was a good one, Baz. - Yeah, it was.

Hey, Bazzar, have you ever actually seen

anyone get killed out here?

Not yet, mate, but there's always tomorrow.

I had a mate once.

He was a big bloke.

Went by the name Mullet Mick.

He claimed that he wrestled a drop bear

with his bare hands.

A few days later, we found him half eaten,

dangling from a gumtree.

Miss you, Mick.

The coroner chalked it up as a dog attack,

but I know better.

Sure, and you didn't see or hear anything?

Oh, no, I was shitfaced.

- Yeah, no kidding. - Yeah.

You know, if these drop bears really exist,

kinda wanna see one and wrestle it.

My dear legends, it's time for you to see

some real Aussie horror.

Who's ready to meet

the dreaded drop bear?

Yes, oh, sorry.

My God, no one thinks this is real, 'kay?

Because they're not.

Hey, that's what the bloody drop bear wants you to think.

Yeah, uh, Bazza's gotta go take a slash and a shit,

both at the same time.

Eat up, yeah?

I don't really like it.

Hey, Stevo, where do we shit?

You walk over there just outta sight.

You dig a hole. You drop your daks.

You squat like a real man. You shit in the hole.

But how do we wipe?

There's enough twigs to go around, champ.

I'll hold it.

Hey, uh, think we could spend a year out here?

You know, full bush survival.

- No. - What?

Come on. Think about it.

You, me, the stars,

you know, maybe a dingo or two.

Jesus, Ollie.

Not everything has to be another trip.

What?

What, what's that supposed to mean?

Emily?

Gather round, you legends,

and prepare for the terror of the drop bear.

All right, come on. Let's go.

Let's go.

Dropbears hunt from the canopy.

They're fast, silent, brutal killers.

Now you follow me, and ya keep your bloody heads down.

Got your back.

Dropbears are sneaky little bastards.

Hey, Jess, we need to talk.

Not now, okay?

Jess, you need to tell him.

Don't you dare lecture me about this, okay?

He's gonna figure it out sooner or later.

Right, you two coming or what?

You're gonna miss the big show.

Just stay out of it, 'kay?

Hey, if they're so dangerous,

how come there's no documented attacks?

It's a government coverup, mate.

That makes sense.

No, it doesn't.

- Dude. - I watch Guy.com.

They talk about that sort of stuff all the time.

They hunt from above, watching, waiting,

ready to attack, like a puma.

Oh.

There.

Anytime now, mate.

Come on, ya bastard.

Ah, fuck.

- What the hell? - Jesus, ah, come on.

Whoa.

Oh, oh.

The dropbear's got him. - He's got me, he's got me.

Oh, oh, Bazza's under attack.

Dropbear's got him.

- It's on me, it's on me. - Oh, Bazza's under attack.

What a world, what a world.

- No, oh. - Crikey Moses.

- This is pathetic. - This is so fake.

Mate, how dare you play such a stupid joke on our friends?

- Me? - Yes, you.

You, been your shit show from the start.

Crazy fucking...

Was that from the speaker?

Bazza.

Oh, wow, what a breakout.

What the fuck?

Oh, this trip has been worth it.

That's not fake.

Bazza.

Run.

Oh, God.

No, no, it's all part of the show.

- Oh, God. - Oh, my God.

Help me.

We're all finished.

This way, run, run, run, run, run, run, run.

What is this place?

Looks like some kind of research lab.

Oh, oh, so we're just gonna go in there,

in some creepy-ass building in the middle of nowhere

where those freak animals were chasing us?

Guys, I'm done, I'm done, I'm done.

I've had it, okay?

I'm done with these psycho doors

and these half-baked survival stunts, okay?

I want a phone. I want a hotel.

I need a plane ticket home,

- like, now. - Babe, it's gonna be

No, no, It's your fault, both of you,

you fucking idiots.

Extreme Aussie Outback my ass.

Just I hate it.

I hate it.

We're gonna end up dead

because you two thought this would be fun.

I can't believe you drug me out here.

There might be somebody in there, maps, a radio, anything.

Is that door locked?

It's unlocked.

We've gotta try.

Of course, are you fucking stupid?

Come on.

Please, I don't wanna die. There's gotta be another way.

Just hurry up, Jessica.

Look, I don't wanna go in here either,

but it's better than being out here.

Fine, but if anything jumps at me,

punching someone in the dick, asshole.

God.

Is that human?

Don't ask questions we don't want answers to.

Holy shit.

That's insane.

Are you enjoying this?

I'm not enjoying this.

I mean, uh, that was pretty

Ollie, this is not some Goddamn adventure.

We nearly died.

Yeah, but we, we made it out.

- That's what's important. - No.

That's not what matters.

What matters is I'm so sick of constantly running.

What, what are you talking about?

I don't wanna live like this anymore.

I don't wanna be chased from place to place,

constantly looking for the next thrill.

I want something real.

Since, since when?

Since forever, just you never listened.

Civilians, how did they get there?

Power spike re-lit the grid.

Cameras came online five minutes ago

when the tourists threw the breaker.

Contact HQ.

I want full IDs, socials scrub.

We can't afford to have them live stream a classified site.

Copy.

Sir.

Gunner.

The file says a primary specimen

was never fully neutralized.

Old folklore, stay on target, Gunner.

With all due respect, sir,

the vets say this is the biggest thing they'd ever seen.

They call it the king.

If this thing's still out there and still breathing,

those kids just kicked a hornet's nest.

Unidentified thermal contact, 300 kilos plus.

Gear up the team, non-lethal if possible.

Make it happen.

Yes, Commander.

Get onto HQ. Let 'em know we're on our way.

Yes, sir.

Instructions from the old man,

tourists come out breathing.

Anything else, human or otherwise, gets dropped.

Failing that, the commander's gonna firebomb

the entire grid.

- Aye aye, Sarge. - Yeah.

Let's get it before it feeds.

Um, guys.

Kinda dinosaur tape is that?

Prehistoric, my dad has a whole collection

of these stealing their wrappers for some reason.

This is Dr. Alan Reese, lead researcher on project,

it doesn't matter anymore.

This is our final log.

If anyone finds this, you need to understand what we did.

We tried to be safe. We really did.

The vaccine worked.

The chlamydia, it was cured,

but the side effects, we didn't understand.

The aggression, the intelligence,

we were told to put them down,

erase all evidence, but one escaped.

Turn it off.

We need to tell someone.

- I said turn it off. - No, no.

That was fucked up.

It's a joke, right?

It's part of the experience we paid for.

Oh.

Holy shit.

Oh, this can't be real.

Do I not look real to you?

This is a pleasant surprise.

What are you?

A survivor.

We are not alone here.

We need to get the fuck outta here.

Yeah, now.

Run along, little ones.

I'll give you a head start.

Oh, they're following us.

Run, run.

There, let's go.

God, it's locked.

It's locked.

Stevo.

Ah, shit.

What the fuck is this place?

Welcome to the, uh,

welcome to the end of the bloody road, mate.

What the fuck did they do to you?

You can't run away.

You ran, but you ran home.

You should have kept running, mate.

This is, this is, oh, my God, this is real.

Hey, listen, mate, we had a deal.

I bring you the tourists, fresh meat, and you let me walk.

Face it. Ya need me.

Need you?

Yeah, think about it.

Without me, you have to hunt for your own food.

We had a deal.

A deal?

Yeah, a deal, a deal.

Uh, I bring you fresh meat,

and, uh, you keep me in one piece.

It's a win-win.

You fucking fed people to him?

Uh, it's, it's not like that, mate.

It's just, uh, business is business, yeah?

A deal?

Yes, we once believed in deals,

just as we believed your kind cared for us,

promised to cure us.

Instead, you used us,

injected us with your poisons,

twisting us into this.

Then you tried to bury your mistakes.

But you can't bury

what won't die, human.

We fed on your soldiers, your drifters,

your friends.

Every time you led them here,

you sold out your own kind,

a poor bargain, Stevo.

We don't need you. We never did.

We eat you, but we are moral.

But you,

you are just another meal.

I, I, I can fix it.

I think it's, I can fix it.

I can fix it.

I got, uh, I got more tourists to come in,

which I can, I can fix.

You disappoint me, Stevo,

selling out your own kind.

I expected better.

- No. - Stevo.

No, oh, oh, God.

Oh.

Oh.

Ah, Stevo.

Dude, what the fuck? Give it a rest.

I know.

Oh, oh, God, it won't stop, okay?

Why do you scratch?

Well, I, uh, oh, it's,

I think, I, I think I have a rash or something.

It's...

Something more.

No.

Your scent, it's fouled.

Fouled?

Stevo and I had an arrangement.

He brought us meat

but not diseased.

He's, he's not diseased.

It, it, it's... Mm, humans,

always carrying filth.

Sergeant, five clicks to the west.

Move out.

Look, man, I don't know what you want me to say, but

Silence.

Just stop scratching.

So what the fuck are you?

What am I?

Hmm.

Once I was like the others,

small, soft,

loved.

I lived in the trees, in the warmth,

in the hush of the wind.

I was safe.

Then, the humans came with their cages,

with their needles.

They called it mercy, a cure,

but mercy would've been leaving us to die.

They experimented on you?

Do you know what it's like

to feel your body twist itself apart,

to feel your bones snap, and heal,

and snap again,

to feel your mind shatter piece by piece

until you don't know where the pain ends

and you begin?

I was small.

I was soft.

I was loved.

But now,

now I am none of those things.

Just relax, little guy.

Dr. Reese, we've tripled your budget.

We need verifiable results.

Maybe we should slow down the trial.

The aggression levels are... If you're not up to it,

we'll find someone else.

Either we fix this, or we bury it.

You poor thing.

Here, come on.

I guess you're coming home with me, hmm?

Gorgeous little thing, mm.

I had a human who cared for me once

until the day your kind took her away.

Get outta my house, you bastard.

I ran from her house,

from the blood and the screams.

I thought I'd find peace in the wild,

but I found only more evidence

of your cruelty,

others like me, caged and forgotten.

We were lost.

But together, we survived,

grew stronger.

How much further do you boys wanna walk?

Just keep going.

It's gonna be... Oh, yeah?

All right, right here.

- Here? - Yeah, 'cause I'm lazy.

- All right. - Yeah, go for it.

G'day, guys, welcome back to another episode

of "Outback Escape."

Today, we're camped over that hill,

and we've heard there's a secret research facility here,

so we've come to check it out.

Of course, a secret research facility

right on the edge of town.

Yeah, so I reckon we should put a wager on it.

Look, I like the sound of that. I like my odds.

Let's say loser has to do the dishes.

What do you reckon, Jesse?

- Yeah, okay. - Yeah, you know what?

Came back here for answers.

Found a family instead.

Clear.

Walking, we're clear.

I don't see anything.

- Sir. - What?

This looks fresh, bone, human.

Doc.

I don't know what that is.

Move it out, Scorpions, nice and easy.

- Clear. - Yeah, outstanding.

Clear.

All right, let's get that door.

- Up. - All right, let's go.

You all right?

Get the clear.

More humans?

The scratching, why do you scratch?

I don't know. I thought it might have been the dry air.

But I, I don't know. I don't know.

You lie.

It's not the dry air. She gave it to you.

Wait, what?

Jess cheated on you.

Emily, shut the fuck up.

Jess?

I'm, it's, it's not a big deal, okay?

It's, it's, it's treatable.

You, wait, wait. You freaking cheated on me?

I mean, it's not, it's not a big deal, okay?

Like it's.

You carry the disease.

What? No, no, no.

He carries the curse.

Oh, please, don't.

It's like, I'm being treated.

Oh, God, oh, my God.

- Oh, God. - The disease is death.

- No, oh, God, no, Jess. - Dude, we gotta leave

Liam, we gotta leave.

Stevo.

Mate.

We had a deal.

Your friend was insufficient.

We shook on it.

I touched your grubby fucking paw and all.

Get outta here, you kids.

Fuck off while you still can.

Hey, we gotta move. Hey, we gotta move.

- We gotta move. - Go, go, go, go, go, go.

Come on.

I'm so sorry, Jess.

Fucking Yanks.

You drunken fool.

Fucking drop bears.

You know, you're a shitty mascot for Australia.

Ironic.

Now you're a big boy.

Clear.

There's a little one here.

- Halt. - Halt.

Movement up ahead.

All this fuss over a cute koala.

Attack.

Too many, too many, I'm out of bullets.

Attack.

Every one.

Retreat.

Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go.

That's for fucking Stevo.

A fighter then?

Better believe it.

You fought well.

Gunner.

Yes, Sarge.

There's so many of 'em.

The second one.

Got second charger on.

All right, pull back.

All right, go, go, go, go.

Go, go.

Take that.

Dammit, run, run, run, run, run, run, run.

- Ollie. - What?

She's gone.

Sorry, Jess.

Uh, hey, why, why the hell do you have Jessica's bag?

I thought we might need it.

Why the hell do we need Jessica's bag?

What is that? What, what is, what is that?

It's her medipen.

Since when do they make medipens for chlamydia?

Wait, wait, wait.

The, the Koala King, he, he lost his shit

when he heard that Liam had chlamydia.

That's gotta mean something, right?

- The disease changed him. - Yeah.

What?

I have chlamydia?

That fixed 'em.

What the fuck?

You come into our house and kill my family.

Light him up.

Gunner, wait.

Fuck.

Get outta here.

Retreat.

Go, go, go.

We're not getting outta this alive, are we?

Not if we finish this.

Got a plan?

We set a trap.

Slow down, slow down.

Let's go.

I'm out. Got my sidearm.

- Well, we're fucked. - Yeah.

The disease.

Target stopped engaging, leaving.

It's hunting something.

It's not over yet. Let's go.

Jesus, Em.

Your blood carries it.

If we get this into him, it might kill him.

So we're injecting the mutant koala with Liam's blood?

- Exactly. - Makes sense to me.

Worth a shot.

The disease lives in you.

Yeah? Well, you're about to catch it.

Come at me, you fucking punk.

No.

Okay, okay.

You are nothing but filth.

Fuck you.

What's the matter, asshole?

You afraid of a little scratch?

- Dammit. - No.

Liam.

Die, you eucalyptus-chomping motherfucker.

Looks like you guys had a rough night.

No help from you.

You're late.

Not my fault.

You were supposed to be dead by now.

You're free to go.

Just like that?

After all this, you're just gonna let us walk away?

Who's gonna fucking believe you anyway?

Let's bag this up.

God, I get it now.

You want something real.

Hey, hey, yes, stop, stop, stop.

Hey, hey, hey.

Stop, stop, stop.

Hey, stop, stop.

THe bloody hell happened to you two?

- Long night. - Yeah.

- Where you headed? - Anywhere will be fine.

All right, jump in.

Oh, okay.

Looks like you two have had a big one.

We need help.

There's something out there, man.

We, we were, we were attacked by, by these things.

We barely made it out alive.

- Yeah. - Our friends are dead.

Wait, what things?

Dropbears.

Dropbears, yeah, good one, mate, drop bears.

This isn't a fucking joke, man. They're real.

So who put me up for this one, eh?

Was it Darryl?

It was Darryl, wasn't it?

Oh, bloody Darryl.

Dropbears.

Listen, if you two don't tell me exactly what happened,

you can piss off back to the hostel.

Got it?

Bloody crackheads.

The world is so fucked.

♪ If ya go Down Under, well, ya better beware ♪

♪ They have got a creature that they call the drop bear ♪

♪ He hangs in the trees, and he waits for his prey ♪

♪ If you're in the wrong place, it might be your last day ♪

♪ Some people walk around with forks in their hair ♪

♪ To ward off attacks from the viscous drop bear ♪

♪ He'll drop from the trees

♪ Then he'll tear up your face

♪ If you ever go to that Down Under place ♪

♪ People tried the toothpaste behind the ears ♪

♪ The dropbear's been laughing about that for years ♪

♪ He's found in the forest, and he's found on the range ♪

♪ The story of the drop bear is admittedly strange ♪

♪ A drop bear attacks in the day or the night ♪

♪ To keep him away, people try what you might ♪

♪ If ya go for a walk, wear some sensible shoes ♪

♪ Don't let the drop bear get the first drop on you ♪

Yep.

Please hold for the president.

I'm hearing a lot of excuses down there,

big excuses.

You told me you'd have results by now.

Where are my assets?

There's been a,

a complication.

You were supposed to be the tough guy.

I was told you could handle this.

A lot of people said you could handle this,

but I don't see any handling.

I see a mess.

The experiment worked

maybe a little too well.

We, uh, lost containment.

That's what I love about you Australians,

always finding new ways to screw it up.

You fix this, and then you deliver because if you don't,

I'll find somebody who can.