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(Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Oh, God.
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Damn super.
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Oh, hell, it's the machine.
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Guys, it's three in the morning.
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Alexei, I know you're there.
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Come on, you can't be asleep.
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You don't work.
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What could you possibly be tired from?
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You know, we didn't knock down the Berlin
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Wall so you could import your Soviet-style
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incompetence to the Bronx.
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So put the vodka bottle down, get up
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here and fix my sink.
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Becker, shut up.
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I'm trying to sleep.
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Cram it, Grandquist.
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Don't you have anything better to do than
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stay up all night waiting for me to
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make noise?
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I never have to wait long.
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Damn neighbors.
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And fix my damn lights.
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You can add one more to the list
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of people I'd like to kill.
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My super.
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I've been chasing after him for days to
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fix my apartment.
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I've been banging on his door, leaving angry
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notes on his car, even left a string
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of curse words on his answering machine, and
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still the bastard won't return my call, which
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to me is just rude.
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You know what I think is rude?
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Oh, yeah, and to top it off, I'm
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paying 450 bucks a month for that crap
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hole, which you'd think would entitle...
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Hold on, hold on.
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Your rent is only $450?
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Now, how's that possible?
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Let's just say they didn't tell I came
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along and they had trouble renting it.
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Anyway...
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Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
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What kind of trouble?
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Nothing that a chalk eraser, some bleach, and
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a few open windows couldn't take care of.
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You live in a dead guy's apartment?
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It's a very old city.
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Everyone lives in a dead guy's apartment.
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Oh, yeah, and to boot, you know, my
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next-door nightmare, Grenquist, has, like, bionic hearing.
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I so much as breathe, he bangs on
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the wall.
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That must be so awful.
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Oh, tell me about it.
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No, I mean, how much would it suck
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to live next door to you?
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A bit of coffee and a muffin to
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go.
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Oh, and, uh, can I use the men's
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room?
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Sure, it's right through there.
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Oh, only you don't want the door that
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says men, that's actually the women's room, but
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the W-O is missing.
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You want the door that says me, which
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is men without the N.
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It's the second door on the right.
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Rosebud?
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Citizen Kane?
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Sorry, I'm all out.
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Why don't you stay out?
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Bad news.
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Looks like Linda's kicking Bob out of her
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apartment.
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Ah, the tribe has spoken.
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And I don't even know what I did.
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Last night, I'm on her computer surfing the
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net when all of a sudden she marches
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in, tells me to put my clothes on,
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and get out.
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So now I have to find a new
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place to live, which means I gotta go
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out and get a job.
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I'm telling you, it never ends.
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Hey, how tough could it be, Bob?
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I mean, find something you're good at, wouldn't
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mind doing for eight hours a day.
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That's what I was doing on the computer.
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That'll be $1.75. Well, it's a pretty
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nice place.
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I'm, uh, working construction a few blocks over.
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I'll be sure to tell the guys.
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Thanks.
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This could be great for business.
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Maybe I could make a working man's special.
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You know, I'm in here every day.
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Why don't you make a John Becker's special?
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Oh, I would, except for who'd buy a
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sandwich made of crab, bologna, and bull...
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Hey!
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Okay, okay, I know I'm late, but I
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have to go.
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I have a really good excuse, and this
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time it's the truth.
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I had it out with Bob last night.
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Well, actually, Bob had it out, but that's
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another story.
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Anyway, I told him to find a new
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place.
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Well, it was very Christian of you to
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take him in for as long as you
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did.
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Hey, you have an extra room at your
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house, don't you?
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You tell that little termite where I live,
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I swear I'll take you both out.
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Morning, John.
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Mrs. Bayer is in two.
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Fine.
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Does Super My Billing call back yet?
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No.
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Aw, damn, Alexi.
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I know.
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Yeah, he's the laziest person I've ever met.
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You're right.
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It's just another pain-in-the-ass thing
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to add to the list of pain-in
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-the-ass things that make up my life.
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Oh, it's terrible, John.
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You shouldn't have to put up with that.
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Yeah, yeah, exactly.
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What was that about?
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Who knows?
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It's just easier if I agree with him.
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You are so right.
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Hello, Mrs. Bayer.
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Oh, I'm glad you came in today.
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I think getting a flu shot's very important
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this year.
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You don't have D.L. I finally got
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that hearing aid.
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Oh, well, good for you.
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That's terrific.
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Glad to hear that.
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Boy, you know, I can't believe the kind
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of day I'm having.
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I swear, life is hard enough without having
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to navigate the gauntlet of idiots out there.
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Noisy neighbors, lousy drivers, incompetent workmen, you know,
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rude cabbie.
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Solve it in one day, though, am I?
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Well, that should do it for a year,
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Mrs. Bayer.
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You know, I gotta say, I think the
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hearing aid's gonna improve the quality of your
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life.
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It already has.
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Excuse me.
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This guy, Chris Duff, is moving into the
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building next door, but he's not in yet.
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Do you mind signing for him?
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Oh, sure, no problem.
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So someone finally bought that apartment.
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I heard he bought the whole building.
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Well, thanks.
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Hmm.
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Chris Duff.
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Bought the whole building.
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Intriguing.
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What is?
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Margaret, this is a case of imported French
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wine.
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From France.
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A new low, Linda.
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You are now hitting on a cardboard box.
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But, Margaret, this guy, Chris, is perfect.
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He's rich, he's sophisticated.
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And for all you know, he could be
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married.
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Margaret, please.
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If he's rich and sophisticated, his marriage isn't
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gonna mean anything.
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Hey, Reg, there are people in here.
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What's going on?
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The place is full of construction workers.
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Terrific.
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So business must be good.
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What business?
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They're not ordering anything.
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They just came in here to use the
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bathroom.
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Tough luck, Reg.
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They're also reading your magazines.
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Oh, that sucks.
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No kidding.
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One guy used the men's room, they turned
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my restaurant into a public bathroom, Well, it
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didn't have far to go.
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I mean, you put a condom machine where
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the register is, and you're there.
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Uh...
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Yeah.
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Ow!
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May I help you?
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Yeah.
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Can I get a glass of water?
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Oh, come on, look at the line.
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The last thing you guys need is more
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water.
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In fact, you know what?
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Either order something or get out.
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Okay, okay, relax.
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I'll have a roast beef sandwich.
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You have roast beef?
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Well, the government says I can call it
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roast beef.
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Hey, Hardhat, Bob looking for work.
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What exactly do you guys do?
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Oh, well, we start around 7.
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Forget it.
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Hey, Reg, there are people in here.
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What's going on?
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Long story.
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You see what happened?
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Oh, then never mind.
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Coffee to go.
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Hey, Jake, I love what you're doing with
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your hair.
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My hair?
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What am I doing with my hair?
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Well, I don't care what anybody says.
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I like it.
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Bob, what are you doing here?
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You're supposed to be out looking for work
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and a new place to live.
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Yeah, well, for your information, I just finished
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an interview in the construction field.
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And plus, don't forget, I still got my
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backup plan.
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Bob, we discussed this.
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The Mexican lottery is not a backup plan.
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Oh, hey, don't forget your sandwich.
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Yeah, right.
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I work on a construction site, lady.
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I bring you my lunch.
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You jerk!
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I hope you choke on your lunch and
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die!
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So, have a nice day.
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Wasn't working for you?
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Hey, there are people in here.
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What's going on?
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Oh, they're all waiting for the bathroom.
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Oh.
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Uh, then just coffee, please.
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It doesn't have to do with the food.
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They work down the street.
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They just come in here to pee.
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Well, now, cheer up, Reg.
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You know, as a restaurant, this place is
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a toilet, but as a toilet, it could
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be really special.
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Hell hole.
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Companies reporting their earnings.
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First of all, Tyco.
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Internet service provider reporting four quarter results at
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12 cents a share.
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I turned it down.
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What do you want?
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Hey, to hell with you, Gregg Twist.
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I'll play my TV as loud as I
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want.
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Ambrose is expected very active after reporting a
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set of unexpected results and forecasting swaths of...
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So, I called Alexi about fixing my shower.
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Are you guys talking about the super?
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Because I've had it with him.
279
00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:36,380
You know, he's lazy, he's incompetent, and I
280
00:10:36,380 --> 00:10:37,540
want him gone.
281
00:10:39,220 --> 00:10:40,180
What's going on?
282
00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:41,940
It's Alexi.
283
00:10:42,460 --> 00:10:43,260
He's dead.
284
00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:45,220
Oh, my God.
285
00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:46,080
What happened?
286
00:10:46,220 --> 00:10:47,900
He had a massive heart attack.
287
00:10:48,780 --> 00:10:50,300
Well, I had no idea.
288
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,740
I mean, I feel terrible.
289
00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:54,880
Such a shock.
290
00:10:57,220 --> 00:10:58,660
Do you think it's too soon to start
291
00:10:58,660 --> 00:11:00,080
talking about getting someone good in here?
292
00:11:01,020 --> 00:11:02,300
That's a little rude.
293
00:11:02,420 --> 00:11:02,840
Oh, yeah?
294
00:11:02,900 --> 00:11:04,300
What about you, Gregg Twist?
295
00:11:04,300 --> 00:11:05,940
What was all that banging on the wall
296
00:11:05,940 --> 00:11:06,540
last night?
297
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,020
You know, I was trying to watch TV.
298
00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:10,100
I didn't bang on the wall last night.
299
00:11:10,180 --> 00:11:12,260
I was visiting my sister in Jersey.
300
00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:13,040
Yeah, right.
301
00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:14,620
No one was even in my apartment.
302
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:16,600
Well, except for poor Alexi.
303
00:11:16,860 --> 00:11:18,400
He was re-caulking my shower.
304
00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:19,360
Alexi?
305
00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:21,060
Yeah, I found the body.
306
00:11:21,620 --> 00:11:22,340
Funny thing, though.
307
00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:24,500
He was in the living room holding a
308
00:11:24,500 --> 00:11:26,100
hammer, and there was a hole in the
309
00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:27,740
wall, like he was pounding or something.
310
00:11:27,860 --> 00:11:30,040
Yeah, the paramedics think that he was calling
311
00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:30,880
out for help.
312
00:11:31,140 --> 00:11:31,420
Oh.
313
00:11:31,980 --> 00:11:35,380
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
314
00:11:35,380 --> 00:11:36,460
Oh, my God!
315
00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:38,820
That must have been the banging you heard.
316
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:40,180
Alexi dying!
317
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,040
I didn't hear banging.
318
00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:43,000
You ignored the pleas of a dying man?
319
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:44,500
No, I thought I was ignoring you!
320
00:11:44,560 --> 00:11:46,140
And you call yourself a doctor?
321
00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:51,020
You know, it's just so sad that it
322
00:11:51,020 --> 00:11:53,140
takes something like this to bring us all
323
00:11:53,140 --> 00:11:53,500
together.
324
00:12:01,460 --> 00:12:02,280
Oh, my God.
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