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Subtitle edited By iMR aka imxpress
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Prepare thyself for one twisted tale.
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Through the chapters of time,
legends have been told
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of brave knights,
evil warlocks,
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beautiful maidens,
magical prophecies,
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and other serious shit.
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Be not afraid.
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This is your destiny.
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You will bear my seed,
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giving birth to a new beast,
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a new age.
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An age where I will
command mankind in fear!
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To arms!
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At ease, Maiden.
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When the light of the world flickers,
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we, the Golden Order of Knights,
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restore the rule of good.
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You're safe now.
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Then let us pray
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that 100 years from now when
these two moons meet again,
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there will be a hero
as brave as you, my lord.
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A hero as brave.
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Oh, fuck me.
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Prince Thadeous of Mourne,
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you are hereby sentenced
to death by hanging
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for your illicit behavior
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with the noble Dwarf King's
second wife Regina.
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You're a disgrace to any kingdom!
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I say hang the bastard.
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Get on with it!
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And your minstrel, Courtney,
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is to be tarred and feathered
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for unlawful association with a deviant.
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Children, I'm allergic,
please. Let's not.
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Please! These allegations, they're
being greatly exaggerated.
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It was more or less just heavy petting
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with a brief moment of penetration.
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Disgusting!
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He deserves to die! Kill him!
Hang the bastard!
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Hey! Easy! That's not nice.
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You, bloodthirsty little fucker!
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Show me some respect,
I'm a prince!
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To the bowels of hell!
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Good night, Prince.
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Oh, dear gods.
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Your Highness,
what are you doing?
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I'm escaping, Courtney!
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Quit playing with those children and help me!
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Kill him!
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Get him! After him!
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Your Highness, wait for me!
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Why are they upset?
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All dwarf queens are unfaithful.
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Hurry, Courtney,
back to the kingdom!
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Forgive us with your tiny hearts!
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Faster sheepies, faster!
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Please wait, sir!
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Courtney, you've proven
yourself useless yet again.
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Who's that?
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We're safe and We're stoned.
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Ganja!
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They're gaining on us.
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Oh, the dragon!
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Those Highland Dwarves have got weapons!
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Coming through.
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Boobies!
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Watch out, Courtney!
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I'm telling father we should go
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to war with these double-crossers.
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Poultry!
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Livestock! Courtney,
this is no time to be napping.
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I'm a chicken.
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Let's get back...
Oh, look!
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A little feast to break up this pursuit.
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Dangerous, yet delicious.
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I'm jumping out this window...
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He's angry!
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Courtney, break my fall with your body.
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Owl Please, don't hurt my bottom!
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Run, Courtney!
Pick up the pace!
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Why do people so little run so fast?
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That was close.
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Courtney, I've had enough of this nonsense!
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Crack-a-lacka, you little varmint.
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They're devils, sir!
They're devils!
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Get him!
They're muscular.
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Get Off me!
- That's it, Sir!
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Your Highness!
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Please tell me that
you completed your simple task
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and secured the treaty signed by
the Lord of the Dwarf Village.
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Father, they sent a beautiful woman
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to distract me and I was defenseless.
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Don't bandy words with me, Thadeous.
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Your brother is to return
from his quest at any moment.
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Please go and bathe yourself.
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Why must I bow to greet him?
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No one does anything special for me
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when I do extraordinary things.
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And what extraordinary things
have you done of late?
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Do tell me.
Enlighten me.
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Courtney, what extraordinary things have I done?
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You took a bubble bath,
ate some toast,
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had a sleep for one hour,
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and commissioned a naked
statue of your fine self.
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God, if your mother could see you now.
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Hear ye! Hear ye!
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Oh, dear gods.
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It is with blossoming personal joy
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that I announce the return of the mighty,
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the magnificent,
the merciful,
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Prince Fabious!
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Hey, Prince Fabious, we adore you!
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Welcome home, Prince Fabious.
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You're my king, Prince Fabious.
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Welcome home!
You are adored.
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it's Prince Fabious!
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Prince Fabious, I'm here for you now.
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Brother!
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Oh, my god, I missed you so.
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Great to see you.
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Father.
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My son.
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Welcome home.
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As you all know,
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the evil wizard Leezar has plagued our kingdom
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with his foul creatures and wicked ways for years.
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But with my brave trusted knights
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and my dear Simon.
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Join us, my mechanical friend.
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We have dispatched the latest
of these cold blooded enemies.
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Behold!
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The head of Leezar's mighty Cyclops!
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Fuck, yeah!
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Once again, Prince Fabious has made me
as proud as a father could ever be.
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All the land owes him gratitude.
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This is not the only good news
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that I've brought home with me today.
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Father, Brother, kingdom...
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She is radiant!
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I'd like you to meet my bride-to-be.
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Belladonna, my dear,
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why don't you delight us with your story.
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Oh, no.
It's a story of strife and sadness.
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No, no, it's not.
It's a story of love.
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You don't have to tell it.
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If she doesn't want to tell it.
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She will tell.
This is a table full of your loved ones.
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Oh. Okay.
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I've been held captive by Leezar
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in the Tower of Disorder since I was but a child.
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Never knowing love nor human contact.
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But I never gave up hope.
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Singing every day, praying that
someday my hero would find me.
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And I did.
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We had just slaughtered the Cyclops.
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We were on our way home, and on the wind
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I heard the most beautiful song.
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Fascinating, really.
May we take pause for one moment.
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Yes, sir.
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Look at Courtney's new haircut.
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Doesn't it make his head look
like the tip of a penis?
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it's hilarious.
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Thadeous, please.
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What is your problem?
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You, Fabious, you're being selfish and greedy.
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Stealing all the attentions.
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Today is not just for you two.
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Today is Thundarian's birthday.
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Thundarian, is it your birthday?
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It's not my birthday.
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It's not Thundarian's birthday, Thadeous.
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Enough, enough.
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My heart's desire, what is this?
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No. That's a...
We call that a fork,
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and you use that for your food.
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Right there.
Fucking idiot.
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Having spent years in the tower
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has made her ignorant to some of
our customs and things in general.
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Why, yes, of course.
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If your mother were here today,
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she would be a very proud woman, Fabious.
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Thank you, Father.
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Which is why I ask your
permission to marry her at once.
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The glory of romance!
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I call upon my criers to proclaim
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that tomorrow we'll see the greatest
wedding this kingdom has ever known.
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And tonight, we celebrate!
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I don't like this.
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Courtney, will you make funny
faces to entertain me?
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00:10:03,082 --> 00:10:04,299
No.
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Never triangle face.
I hate triangle face. It scares me.
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Apologies.
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Good evening, Your Royal Highness.
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Julie.
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Hello, fucking Julie.
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What a wonderful, wonderful evening, sire.
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Yet another glorious achievement
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in the whole firmament of starring
moments for your brother Fabious.
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We shall remember it for the rest of our lives.
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00:10:34,488 --> 00:10:36,223
Isn't that amazing how he can talk
201
00:10:36,323 --> 00:10:38,121
and suck my cock at the same exact time?
202
00:10:38,284 --> 00:10:40,127
Yes, it is. Incredible.
203
00:10:40,661 --> 00:10:43,397
Oh, clean yourself up.
204
00:10:43,497 --> 00:10:45,044
Should have closed your eyes, Julie.
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I know your vulgarity masks your pain.
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00:10:48,461 --> 00:10:49,737
No, it doesn't.
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00:10:49,837 --> 00:10:52,073
I was trying to remember the last time we had
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one of these wonderful evenings for you, sir.
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00:10:55,259 --> 00:10:57,353
Surely there must have been one
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somewhere in the history of this
kingdom, of your illustrious life.
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00:11:01,765 --> 00:11:04,314
There must've been some moment
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00:11:04,518 --> 00:11:06,087
that we can all remember.
213
00:11:06,187 --> 00:11:08,155
And I'm trying to think now
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00:11:08,856 --> 00:11:10,483
and there's nothing.
215
00:11:11,275 --> 00:11:14,553
Courtney, I think I've had enough of this foul party.
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00:11:14,653 --> 00:11:15,654
Yes, sir.
217
00:11:18,824 --> 00:11:20,701
Stupid Julie, I'll show him.
218
00:11:21,869 --> 00:11:23,712
I am Thadeous,
219
00:11:23,871 --> 00:11:27,466
the greatest sword fighting man to ever live.
220
00:11:27,625 --> 00:11:32,321
I will murder anyone whoever tries to insult me
221
00:11:32,421 --> 00:11:34,549
or challenge me.
222
00:11:35,090 --> 00:11:38,310
Some balls you have, Simon,
showing yourself to me.
223
00:11:40,429 --> 00:11:42,456
No matter what you say,
we'll never be friends
224
00:11:42,556 --> 00:11:44,900
because I hate mechanical inventions
225
00:11:45,059 --> 00:11:46,356
and you know this.
226
00:11:47,728 --> 00:11:49,856
Wipe that smile off your face.
227
00:11:51,065 --> 00:11:52,658
Hey, Simon.
228
00:11:52,816 --> 00:11:55,970
You should swing from your hips, Brother.
You'll get more leverage.
229
00:11:56,070 --> 00:11:58,164
Here, let me show you.
230
00:11:59,406 --> 00:12:02,080
Put your hands there, yeah,
231
00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:04,371
and swing.
232
00:12:04,537 --> 00:12:07,757
Gods, get off of me.
I know how to use a sword.
233
00:12:07,915 --> 00:12:09,758
Do you?
Yes.
234
00:12:09,917 --> 00:12:11,919
We'll see about that.
235
00:12:12,086 --> 00:12:13,821
Okay, enough.
I don't want to do swords with you.
236
00:12:13,921 --> 00:12:14,989
I'm doing it by myself.
237
00:12:15,089 --> 00:12:16,490
Defend yourself, Brother!
238
00:12:16,590 --> 00:12:17,992
Stop it.
There you go.
239
00:12:18,092 --> 00:12:19,076
Stop.
240
00:12:19,176 --> 00:12:20,678
Defend yourself!
241
00:12:20,844 --> 00:12:22,846
Stop it.
242
00:12:25,266 --> 00:12:27,084
You just nicked my knuckles!
243
00:12:27,184 --> 00:12:30,028
Oh, you'll be all right.
it's not as if I cut your head off or anything.
244
00:12:30,271 --> 00:12:32,365
Why would you bring
that disgusting thing here?
245
00:12:32,523 --> 00:12:34,617
It's getting juices in our water supply.
246
00:12:34,775 --> 00:12:36,448
It's a souvenir of my kill.
247
00:12:36,694 --> 00:12:39,430
I always take one from a foe
that's tasted the cold,
248
00:12:39,530 --> 00:12:41,783
unrelenting steel of my blade.
249
00:12:42,241 --> 00:12:44,143
Souvenir of your kill?
250
00:12:44,243 --> 00:12:48,123
That sounds like a rather
stupid, bloodthirsty tradition.
251
00:12:49,623 --> 00:12:50,983
What's your problem?
252
00:12:51,083 --> 00:12:52,526
Why are you such a sourpuss?
253
00:12:52,626 --> 00:12:56,130
I'm not being a sourpuss.
I just didn't wanna be at that celebrations.
254
00:12:56,463 --> 00:12:58,682
All I want is for you to be a part of this moment.
255
00:12:58,841 --> 00:13:01,368
I want you to be gay with me and father.
256
00:13:01,468 --> 00:13:03,596
I don't want to be gay with you two.
257
00:13:04,847 --> 00:13:05,998
I'd rather just stay in here
258
00:13:06,098 --> 00:13:08,521
with my blade and fuck things up.
259
00:13:08,809 --> 00:13:10,002
Why would you say that?
260
00:13:10,102 --> 00:13:12,605
Because, Fabious, it's true.
261
00:13:16,233 --> 00:13:19,261
I'm sick and tired of everyone
sucking up on your tits
262
00:13:19,361 --> 00:13:21,329
because you are to become king.
263
00:13:21,488 --> 00:13:24,788
All the while, no one gives
two turtle shits about me.
264
00:13:25,117 --> 00:13:29,522
But Thaddy, first borns like me, we become king.
265
00:13:29,622 --> 00:13:32,967
Second borns, you can be whatever you want to be.
266
00:13:33,125 --> 00:13:34,968
I want to be king.
267
00:13:35,878 --> 00:13:37,425
Maybe we can both be king.
268
00:13:37,630 --> 00:13:41,134
No, I want to be king by myself.
269
00:13:41,300 --> 00:13:43,160
Well, cheer up, Brother.
270
00:13:43,260 --> 00:13:44,682
I have something else that you can be.
271
00:13:45,179 --> 00:13:46,747
What?
272
00:13:46,847 --> 00:13:48,520
Best man at my wedding.
273
00:13:49,016 --> 00:13:52,065
I can think of no one else I'd want by my side
274
00:13:52,436 --> 00:13:55,089
as I sing my vow passionately into her eyes.
275
00:13:55,189 --> 00:13:57,567
Sounds tedious and boring.
276
00:13:57,858 --> 00:13:59,468
If I'm not mistaken, it's tradition
277
00:13:59,568 --> 00:14:02,471
that the best man gets to finger the bridesmaids.
278
00:14:02,571 --> 00:14:05,370
Really? I've never heard of this tradition.
279
00:14:09,953 --> 00:14:11,438
You have a fucking deal.
280
00:14:11,538 --> 00:14:13,774
Oh, you're gonna be so handsome!
281
00:14:13,874 --> 00:14:16,593
Who's gonna be the most handsome best man?
282
00:14:17,169 --> 00:14:18,362
Probably me.
283
00:14:18,462 --> 00:14:21,466
Who's the prince with the most dashing moustache?
284
00:14:22,049 --> 00:14:23,158
Me.
285
00:14:23,258 --> 00:14:25,536
Who gives the warmest hugs?
286
00:14:25,636 --> 00:14:27,013
Me, of course.
287
00:14:27,638 --> 00:14:29,185
I love you, Thadeous.
288
00:14:30,766 --> 00:14:32,894
Okay, that's cool.
289
00:14:33,852 --> 00:14:37,197
All gather for the royal wedding!
290
00:14:50,911 --> 00:14:53,585
Hello there, best man.
291
00:14:53,997 --> 00:14:54,982
Best man?
292
00:14:55,082 --> 00:14:57,985
If he wanted a best man,
he should have chosen me.
293
00:14:58,085 --> 00:15:00,112
How many quests have I been on with Fabious?
294
00:15:00,212 --> 00:15:01,213
Countless.
295
00:15:02,005 --> 00:15:05,242
I gave my hand to save his life on the battlefield.
296
00:15:05,342 --> 00:15:08,266
And yet he chooses Thadeous as his best man.
297
00:15:08,470 --> 00:15:11,974
That sorry sack of shit.
298
00:15:12,141 --> 00:15:14,940
Such a poor excuse for a prince.
299
00:15:15,102 --> 00:15:18,697
He's nothing more than a self-entitled, rotten child!
300
00:15:19,022 --> 00:15:20,023
Idiot.
301
00:15:22,276 --> 00:15:24,153
You look beautiful.
Thank you.
302
00:15:24,319 --> 00:15:25,320
Belladonna...
303
00:15:26,071 --> 00:15:28,073
Oh, my love.
304
00:15:31,076 --> 00:15:34,396
Oh, Fabious, I can't wait until the cervix is over,
305
00:15:34,496 --> 00:15:36,590
and to lie together as one.
306
00:15:37,082 --> 00:15:38,359
No, the service.
307
00:15:38,459 --> 00:15:43,681
The cervix is a circular wing of
muscles that contracts or expands.
308
00:15:43,839 --> 00:15:45,557
It's up in your vagina.
309
00:15:45,799 --> 00:15:48,348
That's where my penis will go after the wedding.
310
00:15:49,511 --> 00:15:51,205
Have you not consummated your love?
311
00:15:51,305 --> 00:15:52,352
Not yet.
312
00:15:52,681 --> 00:15:54,375
Belladonna has never been with a man
313
00:15:54,475 --> 00:15:57,524
so we've decided to preserve her
purity till after the wedding.
314
00:15:58,312 --> 00:16:00,964
She's given me this ribbon from her fair hair.
315
00:16:01,064 --> 00:16:04,739
To hold on to until we can be together in a sex-way.
316
00:16:05,652 --> 00:16:07,074
Yes.
317
00:16:08,906 --> 00:16:10,533
Enough, enough.
318
00:16:11,742 --> 00:16:13,394
If Thadeous wishes to play forgetful
319
00:16:13,494 --> 00:16:14,978
on his brother's day of days,
320
00:16:15,078 --> 00:16:16,705
then wait we shall not.
321
00:16:16,914 --> 00:16:20,418
I can't get married without my brother.
He's my best man.
322
00:16:20,542 --> 00:16:23,654
His time has passed.
Pick another best man.
323
00:16:23,754 --> 00:16:24,780
No.
324
00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:27,679
Julie, you be best man.
Here you are.
325
00:16:27,925 --> 00:16:29,017
Godsdammit.
326
00:16:31,178 --> 00:16:34,273
Oh, Brendan, you trolls have it so easy.
327
00:16:34,598 --> 00:16:38,023
Out here playing recklessly
in your beautiful mud.
328
00:16:38,185 --> 00:16:41,530
Eating your scraps of horse meats and crumbs.
329
00:16:42,314 --> 00:16:44,157
Green grass.
Green grass.
330
00:16:44,608 --> 00:16:47,282
And do tell, how do you get so dirty?
331
00:16:47,736 --> 00:16:51,491
You just take the earth and rub it upon your face?
332
00:16:51,949 --> 00:16:53,292
Your Highness,
333
00:16:54,660 --> 00:16:57,730
the wedding has... Hello.
The wedding has started.
334
00:16:57,830 --> 00:16:59,924
I do not care.
335
00:17:00,165 --> 00:17:02,509
I'd rather stay with this fine gentleman.
336
00:17:02,626 --> 00:17:03,736
Hiding here with my true friends.
337
00:17:03,836 --> 00:17:04,903
Yes.
338
00:17:05,003 --> 00:17:09,133
Let the whole entire wedding wonder and worry where I am.
339
00:17:12,135 --> 00:17:17,266
This is the day that I've been waiting for
340
00:17:19,184 --> 00:17:22,654
Sand in the kingdom
341
00:17:22,771 --> 00:17:25,490
Our love is born
342
00:17:26,608 --> 00:17:31,990
Flowing from the ocean to the moons
343
00:17:34,157 --> 00:17:39,209
Your heart now I hold
344
00:17:41,999 --> 00:17:47,381
You have a beauty I can't ignore
345
00:17:49,047 --> 00:17:54,224
Bastion of all I do adore
346
00:17:56,346 --> 00:17:59,816
Giving this moment
347
00:18:00,017 --> 00:18:03,647
Our love that's true
348
00:18:04,605 --> 00:18:09,657
Our hearts now are one
349
00:18:15,157 --> 00:18:16,955
Bravo!
350
00:18:17,534 --> 00:18:19,127
Bravo!
351
00:18:19,494 --> 00:18:20,896
Bravo!
352
00:18:20,996 --> 00:18:23,499
Reveal yourself, stranger.
Are you lost?
353
00:18:23,832 --> 00:18:28,053
A thousand pardons. I mean not to
intrude on such a joyous occasion.
354
00:18:29,004 --> 00:18:32,474
However, today I just could not help myself.
355
00:18:32,716 --> 00:18:33,784
Leezar!
356
00:18:33,884 --> 00:18:35,932
You're not welcome here, devil!
357
00:18:39,431 --> 00:18:41,458
If you come in peace, say so,
358
00:18:41,558 --> 00:18:43,794
otherwise prepare to meet your doom.
359
00:18:43,894 --> 00:18:45,817
Oh, brave Fabious.
360
00:18:46,063 --> 00:18:50,068
You murdered my Cyclops.
But I have other perils in store for you.
361
00:18:50,817 --> 00:18:53,536
Ones that are beyond the bounds of your imagination.
362
00:18:53,695 --> 00:18:55,072
One, in particular,
363
00:18:55,238 --> 00:18:56,974
involving an ancient prophecy destined
364
00:18:57,074 --> 00:18:59,643
to be fulfilled by a powerful Warlock,
365
00:18:59,743 --> 00:19:00,835
me.
366
00:19:01,119 --> 00:19:04,498
And, of course, a very beautiful
virgin that looks just like
367
00:19:06,917 --> 00:19:07,918
her.
368
00:19:08,210 --> 00:19:11,965
I was keeping that one for something very special.
369
00:19:12,130 --> 00:19:15,725
And I dare say it was rude of you to steal her from me.
370
00:19:15,884 --> 00:19:17,181
Now I'm here to get her back.
371
00:19:17,427 --> 00:19:19,976
And just how do you plan on doing that?
372
00:19:20,097 --> 00:19:21,189
Magic,
373
00:19:22,724 --> 00:19:23,850
motherfucker.
374
00:19:24,017 --> 00:19:25,043
Not a moment more.
375
00:19:25,143 --> 00:19:27,111
Knights, to arms!
Take him!
376
00:19:30,983 --> 00:19:34,112
Do you honestly think your band of worms can stop me?
377
00:19:38,657 --> 00:19:41,206
Arise therefore, my mothers!
378
00:19:49,835 --> 00:19:50,836
Watch out!
379
00:20:05,809 --> 00:20:07,026
Come with me.
380
00:20:08,395 --> 00:20:09,897
Leezar!
381
00:20:20,574 --> 00:20:23,143
I shall not go back to that dreadful tower!
382
00:20:23,243 --> 00:20:24,335
Look into my eyes!
383
00:20:24,703 --> 00:20:27,377
You will learn to love me!
Do you understand?
384
00:20:32,294 --> 00:20:33,511
Come on.
385
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:45,523
Impossible.
386
00:20:59,696 --> 00:21:01,723
Farewell, Kingdom of Mourne.
387
00:21:01,823 --> 00:21:05,453
As always, it has been my pleasure.
388
00:21:23,386 --> 00:21:24,830
I thought it was from riding sheep,
389
00:21:24,930 --> 00:21:26,648
but it turns out just to be an ear infection.
390
00:21:27,891 --> 00:21:28,892
You fucker!
391
00:21:30,685 --> 00:21:31,753
Good times.
392
00:21:31,853 --> 00:21:33,505
No one get up.
I'm very tired.
393
00:21:33,605 --> 00:21:35,198
I'm going straight to my bed chambers.
394
00:21:35,524 --> 00:21:37,697
Brother, thank god you're alive.
395
00:21:37,859 --> 00:21:40,362
When you didn't show up for the
wedding, I feared the worst.
396
00:21:40,487 --> 00:21:41,659
Why are you crying?
397
00:21:41,863 --> 00:21:43,536
Leezar has taken my love.
398
00:21:43,698 --> 00:21:44,870
What?
Yes..
399
00:21:44,991 --> 00:21:48,370
So, your brother is about to embark on yet another quest.
400
00:21:48,703 --> 00:21:50,272
This time to rescue Belladonna
401
00:21:50,372 --> 00:21:52,399
and rid the land of that loathsome wretch
402
00:21:52,499 --> 00:21:53,625
once and for all.
403
00:21:53,750 --> 00:21:55,798
Wow, how noble of him.
404
00:21:56,211 --> 00:21:59,489
Well, it was nice to see you,
as short as the visit was.
405
00:21:59,589 --> 00:22:03,219
I look forward to hearing about it.
Good luck and good bye.
406
00:22:03,468 --> 00:22:06,392
Thadeous, this is Fabious' 28th quest.
407
00:22:07,055 --> 00:22:08,582
How many have you been on?
408
00:22:08,682 --> 00:22:11,310
Courtney, how many quests have I completed?
409
00:22:12,894 --> 00:22:15,130
The answer is none.
410
00:22:15,230 --> 00:22:17,841
It is finally time for you to become a man.
411
00:22:17,941 --> 00:22:20,911
You must journey with your brother to rescue his bride.
412
00:22:21,111 --> 00:22:22,804
Father, you can't be serious.
413
00:22:22,904 --> 00:22:24,097
If you want me to go on to a quest,
414
00:22:24,197 --> 00:22:25,557
then let's start with something easy,
415
00:22:25,657 --> 00:22:28,894
like boiling a chicken or beating
off in front of a Pegasus.
416
00:22:28,994 --> 00:22:30,541
Elementary things.
417
00:22:30,787 --> 00:22:34,758
Look around you at the harm
that has befallen this castle!
418
00:22:37,210 --> 00:22:39,237
This quest is your last chance
419
00:22:39,337 --> 00:22:41,782
to prove to me and the kingdom
420
00:22:41,882 --> 00:22:44,951
that you are a man worthy to bear the family crest,
421
00:22:45,051 --> 00:22:48,225
and to show that at your core, you are not rotten,
422
00:22:48,722 --> 00:22:52,022
but you are brave and honorable, and noble.
423
00:22:52,184 --> 00:22:55,003
All the qualities expected of a prince.
424
00:22:55,103 --> 00:22:56,400
The choice is yours.
425
00:22:56,730 --> 00:22:59,299
Either journey with your brother and the Knights Elite,
426
00:22:59,399 --> 00:23:02,243
or you can face banishment from the kingdom.
427
00:23:30,096 --> 00:23:31,414
You see, Courtney,
428
00:23:31,514 --> 00:23:34,688
I alone understand how to properly prepare for a quest.
429
00:23:34,935 --> 00:23:38,940
Masculine garments, proper,
good collie to smoke upon.
430
00:23:39,105 --> 00:23:40,778
How is Steven doing?
431
00:23:40,941 --> 00:23:42,784
He looks like he's stoned, sir.
432
00:23:42,943 --> 00:23:44,219
Fabious has Simon,
433
00:23:44,319 --> 00:23:47,848
and now I have Steven, a far superior creature companion.
434
00:23:47,948 --> 00:23:49,291
Wouldn't you agree?
435
00:23:49,449 --> 00:23:52,102
He will fare very well, indeed,
I'm sure, Your Highness.
436
00:23:52,202 --> 00:23:55,021
I do hope this adventure is not too stressful or boring.
437
00:23:55,121 --> 00:23:59,467
Either way I intend to get properly
fucked up if no one disagrees.
438
00:24:16,476 --> 00:24:19,355
Belladonna, wake up.
Wake up.
439
00:24:19,521 --> 00:24:21,548
Who is that?
Where am I?
440
00:24:21,648 --> 00:24:23,525
'Tis I, Fabious.
Your love.
441
00:24:25,193 --> 00:24:26,194
Fabious?
442
00:24:26,361 --> 00:24:28,096
You're still in Leezar's lair.
443
00:24:28,196 --> 00:24:30,891
But fear not, I'm here to rescue you.
444
00:24:30,991 --> 00:24:32,893
Fabious, it's really you.
445
00:24:32,993 --> 00:24:35,041
I knew you'd come to find me.
446
00:24:41,293 --> 00:24:45,173
I can't do this.
I can't do it. It's so mean.
447
00:24:46,172 --> 00:24:50,018
You should've seen the look on your face. it's me!
448
00:24:50,719 --> 00:24:52,312
You're still a prisoner.
449
00:24:52,470 --> 00:24:55,123
I've seen a beautiful world beyond this prison,
450
00:24:55,223 --> 00:24:57,476
and I count the hours till I escape.
451
00:24:57,726 --> 00:24:59,586
I wouldn't be so sure of that.
452
00:24:59,686 --> 00:25:03,862
Lookie there.
The twin moons drawing slowly together.
453
00:25:04,149 --> 00:25:06,652
Time moving them closer.
454
00:25:06,818 --> 00:25:10,698
Just as time moves you and I closer together.
455
00:25:10,989 --> 00:25:14,209
And when the two moons unite, so shall we.
456
00:25:14,534 --> 00:25:18,063
Perhaps, keeping you in this tower has left you ignorant.
457
00:25:18,163 --> 00:25:20,632
You're so easily deceived.
458
00:25:20,874 --> 00:25:24,879
For example, I have heard that your Prince Fabious
459
00:25:25,045 --> 00:25:28,174
has made his bed recklessly with many maidens.
460
00:25:30,258 --> 00:25:34,980
And I heard that he has fungi
on his genitalia as a result.
461
00:25:35,180 --> 00:25:37,558
Also, he organizes orgies
462
00:25:37,891 --> 00:25:40,627
with wenches and barbarians alike
463
00:25:40,727 --> 00:25:45,153
and he takes sperm on him and gives it to women freely.
464
00:25:45,565 --> 00:25:47,533
Spilling his seed willy-nilly
465
00:25:47,692 --> 00:25:50,912
as he makes his way through that orgy.
466
00:25:51,112 --> 00:25:53,139
I don't believe you.
467
00:25:53,239 --> 00:25:57,164
He is not the dashing young man you believe him to be.
468
00:25:57,452 --> 00:25:58,453
So
469
00:26:00,246 --> 00:26:04,217
these are the harsh realities of the outside world.
470
00:26:06,127 --> 00:26:07,800
Welcome home.
471
00:26:10,632 --> 00:26:12,976
Halt! Steady.
472
00:26:17,639 --> 00:26:19,733
Sorry to disturb you two love birds
473
00:26:19,891 --> 00:26:22,690
but we've arrived at the home of the Wize Wizard.
474
00:26:22,852 --> 00:26:24,320
Who the hell is the Wize Wizard?
475
00:26:24,604 --> 00:26:26,381
He's an ancient seer who helps many
476
00:26:26,481 --> 00:26:28,258
on their quest with added insight.
477
00:26:28,358 --> 00:26:31,362
Great.
Well, let me know how it goes.
478
00:26:31,528 --> 00:26:33,471
Leave him in his carriage, Fabious.
479
00:26:33,571 --> 00:26:35,807
You and I will seek counsel with the Wize Wizard.
480
00:26:35,907 --> 00:26:36,933
No.
481
00:26:37,033 --> 00:26:40,312
Come, Brother.
This is the first stop on your first quest.
482
00:26:40,412 --> 00:26:42,961
We shall go together.
483
00:26:54,801 --> 00:26:55,848
Brother,
484
00:26:56,010 --> 00:26:57,620
you look ravishing in that armor,
485
00:26:57,720 --> 00:26:59,939
but I don't think you'll need it.
486
00:27:00,056 --> 00:27:02,935
The Wize Wizard is a peaceful, little old man.
487
00:27:03,768 --> 00:27:05,862
I'm wearing it.
You're just being jealous.
488
00:27:12,777 --> 00:27:15,496
Hello? Anyone home?
489
00:27:18,199 --> 00:27:21,269
Looks as if someone is
cultivating glorious herbs in here.
490
00:27:21,369 --> 00:27:23,337
Hey, Wize Wizard,
is that you over there?
491
00:27:23,621 --> 00:27:27,171
Who dares enter my den?
492
00:27:27,834 --> 00:27:31,464
It is I, Prince Fabious and my brother, Prince Thadeous.
493
00:27:31,629 --> 00:27:33,506
We come to seek counsel.
494
00:27:33,631 --> 00:27:36,054
Come, come.
Give me kisses.
495
00:27:44,517 --> 00:27:46,294
Kiss him.
496
00:27:46,394 --> 00:27:47,379
Fuck,no.
497
00:27:47,479 --> 00:27:48,463
Pretty please.
498
00:27:48,563 --> 00:27:49,860
Kiss it on the mouth.
499
00:27:50,356 --> 00:27:52,358
For the quest.
500
00:27:52,484 --> 00:27:54,782
I do it
every time I come.
501
00:27:57,405 --> 00:28:00,534
Hello.
Nice to meet you.
502
00:28:05,330 --> 00:28:06,773
Sit, sit.
503
00:28:06,873 --> 00:28:07,941
Sit.
504
00:28:08,041 --> 00:28:12,046
Fabious has been coming here since he was a boy.
505
00:28:12,212 --> 00:28:14,280
You did this when you were a child.
506
00:28:14,380 --> 00:28:15,472
Yes!
507
00:28:15,715 --> 00:28:17,388
We had great times, didn't we?
508
00:28:17,717 --> 00:28:19,719
Yes, yes, we did.
509
00:28:20,887 --> 00:28:22,685
You would kiss him?
510
00:28:24,224 --> 00:28:27,068
Yeah, sometimes we would do other things.
511
00:28:27,185 --> 00:28:28,903
Like what?
512
00:28:29,062 --> 00:28:32,215
When I was younger,
we'd take our shirts off and jump on the bed.
513
00:28:32,315 --> 00:28:34,909
Playful secrets.
514
00:28:35,735 --> 00:28:36,736
Don't tell father.
515
00:28:38,029 --> 00:28:40,265
Breathe deeply of these herbs
516
00:28:40,365 --> 00:28:42,142
and share a vision with me.
517
00:28:42,242 --> 00:28:43,334
Of course.
518
00:28:48,665 --> 00:28:51,384
Yes. Allow me to puff as well.
519
00:28:55,588 --> 00:28:58,387
Those are some powerful herbs.
520
00:28:58,550 --> 00:29:00,598
Giving me dark visions.
521
00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:02,287
Shall we pack
this again?
522
00:29:02,387 --> 00:29:04,890
I'm not getting visions.
I'm not sure if it's working, Wizard.
523
00:29:06,099 --> 00:29:08,602
Visions. Visions.
524
00:29:08,726 --> 00:29:11,024
Thadeous, are you seeing what I'm seeing?
525
00:29:11,187 --> 00:29:12,380
You making a fool yourself.
526
00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:13,965
Handle your shit,
Fabious, please.
527
00:29:14,065 --> 00:29:15,237
No, I can't.
528
00:29:16,484 --> 00:29:18,828
Please, interpret these visions, Wizard.
529
00:29:19,070 --> 00:29:22,165
Prophecies foretell of an evil wizard
530
00:29:22,282 --> 00:29:24,893
laying his seed inside a virgin
531
00:29:24,993 --> 00:29:27,291
under the eclipse of the two moons.
532
00:29:27,620 --> 00:29:30,148
What? What evil prophecy is this?
533
00:29:30,248 --> 00:29:31,691
The child she would spawn
534
00:29:31,791 --> 00:29:34,340
is said to be a dragon most powerful.
535
00:29:34,627 --> 00:29:38,698
Leezar wants to make love to
Belladonna to create a dragon?
536
00:29:38,798 --> 00:29:40,909
That's fucking disgusting.
537
00:29:41,009 --> 00:29:42,352
I cannot let this happen.
538
00:29:42,594 --> 00:29:43,703
When is this eclipse?
539
00:29:43,803 --> 00:29:45,476
In five nights' time,
540
00:29:45,805 --> 00:29:49,834
but you will need an enchanted
blade to do this warlock in.
541
00:29:49,934 --> 00:29:52,528
A blade made of unicorn horn.
542
00:29:52,854 --> 00:29:55,715
Say where I can find such a sword and it shall be mine.
543
00:29:55,815 --> 00:29:59,695
It rests in the depths of the
most perilous hidden labyrinth.
544
00:30:00,028 --> 00:30:02,497
Just beyond Muldiss Darton.
545
00:30:02,655 --> 00:30:03,781
Muldiss Darton.
546
00:30:03,948 --> 00:30:06,451
Well, what is Muldiss Darton?
547
00:30:06,618 --> 00:30:08,291
It's a place of legend.
548
00:30:15,460 --> 00:30:17,758
Oh. Powerful magic.
549
00:30:17,879 --> 00:30:20,573
This crooked compass will catch the light
550
00:30:20,673 --> 00:30:23,847
and point the way to the labyrinth's location.
551
00:30:24,010 --> 00:30:25,286
Be warned,
552
00:30:25,386 --> 00:30:29,357
they say the walls of this maze drive men to madness.
553
00:30:29,515 --> 00:30:31,668
But if you can find your way,
554
00:30:31,768 --> 00:30:34,066
the blade will be yours.
555
00:30:35,188 --> 00:30:37,090
Thank you, Wize Wizard.
556
00:30:37,190 --> 00:30:40,444
Not so fast. First you must answer a riddle.
557
00:30:40,735 --> 00:30:45,707
What journey be long and twisted and sensitive at hand?
558
00:30:45,865 --> 00:30:50,666
To what end must man go to discover
the depths of his ecstasy?
559
00:30:51,204 --> 00:30:53,502
Think hard, strong warriors.
560
00:30:54,374 --> 00:30:55,796
Fuck, I know this.
561
00:30:57,001 --> 00:30:58,048
I've got it!
562
00:30:58,544 --> 00:31:03,266
You want us to twist what is
long with our sensitive hands.
563
00:31:03,549 --> 00:31:05,222
He wants us to jerk him off.
564
00:31:05,468 --> 00:31:07,996
Just punch the tip and twist it.
565
00:31:08,096 --> 00:31:11,100
Yes, but we are not going to do that.
566
00:31:11,766 --> 00:31:14,861
If it's for the quest, we will do what needs to be done.
567
00:31:16,771 --> 00:31:20,150
I'll work the tip,
you tickle his balls.
568
00:31:26,781 --> 00:31:27,782
Yuck!
569
00:31:28,366 --> 00:31:29,350
Pervert.
570
00:31:29,450 --> 00:31:30,576
Did you get any information?
571
00:31:30,743 --> 00:31:32,770
Let's just make camp.
572
00:31:32,870 --> 00:31:35,840
Sick. This quest sucks.
573
00:31:36,833 --> 00:31:38,234
It used to be you that joined him.
574
00:31:38,334 --> 00:31:39,506
Yes.
575
00:31:41,462 --> 00:31:44,466
Don't worry.
All will be well.
576
00:31:53,766 --> 00:31:56,315
Attentions please, warriors.
577
00:31:56,477 --> 00:31:58,150
I propose a toast.
578
00:31:58,312 --> 00:32:00,940
Let us drink till thine asses are drunk.
579
00:32:01,107 --> 00:32:03,009
Brother, we do not celebrate
580
00:32:03,109 --> 00:32:04,886
until we complete the quest at hand.
581
00:32:04,986 --> 00:32:06,596
It is the code of the Knights Elite.
582
00:32:06,696 --> 00:32:09,932
What of my code where we drink like men?
583
00:32:10,032 --> 00:32:11,225
Thadeous, we have some traditions
584
00:32:11,325 --> 00:32:13,043
of our own out here on the road.
585
00:32:13,995 --> 00:32:16,919
Manious, prepare the warrior's tidings, if you will.
586
00:32:17,081 --> 00:32:21,336
If it is the first night of your first quest, well...
587
00:32:26,674 --> 00:32:27,675
Here it comes.
588
00:32:29,010 --> 00:32:30,512
Disgusting
589
00:32:32,472 --> 00:32:34,415
Feast upon the heart of the beast.
590
00:32:34,515 --> 00:32:36,125
No, thank you, I'm not hungry.
591
00:32:36,225 --> 00:32:38,648
It is a tradition among men.
592
00:32:38,978 --> 00:32:40,821
Eat it.
Eat it.
593
00:32:40,980 --> 00:32:43,049
Eat it.
Eat it.
594
00:32:43,149 --> 00:32:46,870
Eat it! Eat it! Eat it!
595
00:33:03,836 --> 00:33:05,759
You fuckers!
That's not funny!
596
00:33:06,005 --> 00:33:07,473
You're not supposed to eat it.
597
00:33:07,673 --> 00:33:08,825
You all were chanting.
598
00:33:08,925 --> 00:33:11,769
Maybe there's some donkey cock in your carriage!
599
00:33:11,969 --> 00:33:14,392
Fuck you, Boremont!
Manious, fuck you!
600
00:33:14,514 --> 00:33:15,707
I hate all of you.
601
00:33:15,807 --> 00:33:17,184
Thadeous!
602
00:33:17,558 --> 00:33:18,730
Come back.
603
00:33:19,227 --> 00:33:21,400
Thadeous, come here.
604
00:33:48,714 --> 00:33:50,057
Dark master,
605
00:33:50,216 --> 00:33:53,186
it is I, Julie.
606
00:33:54,387 --> 00:33:56,355
We have crossed the hazel meadow,
607
00:33:56,514 --> 00:33:59,768
and are now taking rest at the Cliffs of Kuneman.
608
00:33:59,934 --> 00:34:03,234
Now that the Princes of Mourne
have left their stronghold
609
00:34:03,396 --> 00:34:05,694
their vulnerabilities are in your hands.
610
00:34:05,857 --> 00:34:07,008
My hands.
611
00:34:07,108 --> 00:34:08,781
Bring Prince Fabious to me alive.
612
00:34:09,026 --> 00:34:11,779
I would like him to witness
as I impregnate his love.
613
00:34:11,946 --> 00:34:13,118
Impregnate.
614
00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:14,682
As for Thadeous and his boy,
615
00:34:14,782 --> 00:34:18,377
toss them from the Cliffs of Kuneman.
They're useless.
616
00:34:20,413 --> 00:34:21,790
Fart.
617
00:34:22,707 --> 00:34:24,675
Knock, knock.
May I come in?
618
00:34:24,834 --> 00:34:27,528
No, leave me alone.
Get out of here.
619
00:34:27,628 --> 00:34:31,929
Thadeous, you must calm down.
it's over.
620
00:34:32,133 --> 00:34:34,619
You ate the heart,
you passed the initiation.
621
00:34:34,719 --> 00:34:35,703
Passed?
622
00:34:35,803 --> 00:34:37,805
You made me look stupid in front of all your friends.
623
00:34:37,972 --> 00:34:40,500
And don't think I'm not telling
father because I'm going to.
624
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:43,900
Thadeous, we were just having
some fun, and it was perfect.
625
00:34:44,061 --> 00:34:46,314
Now they know you're not to be fucked with.
626
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:48,466
Excuse me, sir,
sorry for the intrusion.
627
00:34:48,566 --> 00:34:50,864
I have just witnessed a most disturbing incident.
628
00:34:51,027 --> 00:34:52,845
There must be a misunderstanding.
629
00:34:52,945 --> 00:34:54,764
Julie is my most trusted confidant.
630
00:34:54,864 --> 00:34:56,098
Julie is an idiot.
631
00:34:56,198 --> 00:34:57,600
No, he's not.
He's a gentleman.
632
00:34:57,700 --> 00:34:59,293
Julie is what, Your Highness?
633
00:34:59,493 --> 00:35:00,895
I'm not sure, Julie.
634
00:35:00,995 --> 00:35:03,168
Courtney said he saw some suspicious behavior.
635
00:35:03,414 --> 00:35:07,544
You, I saw you talking with Leezar.
636
00:35:09,921 --> 00:35:13,425
How dare you watch me in my private moments.
637
00:35:19,096 --> 00:35:20,564
He's stolen my vision.
638
00:35:20,806 --> 00:35:21,853
Get him, Courtney!
639
00:35:24,101 --> 00:35:25,102
Come here!
640
00:35:28,189 --> 00:35:29,281
You old beast.
641
00:35:29,982 --> 00:35:31,801
Courtney, just restrain him with all your might.
642
00:35:31,901 --> 00:35:33,448
No, slay him!
643
00:35:33,736 --> 00:35:34,783
Murder him!
644
00:35:34,904 --> 00:35:36,201
Die of me.
645
00:35:40,576 --> 00:35:41,919
What?
646
00:35:42,078 --> 00:35:44,581
Don't move, you're surrounded.
647
00:35:46,248 --> 00:35:47,545
Julie has no dick!
648
00:35:48,793 --> 00:35:49,885
Boremont!
649
00:35:50,044 --> 00:35:51,170
Help!
650
00:35:53,673 --> 00:35:54,657
Knights!
651
00:35:54,757 --> 00:35:56,259
A turncoat has been discovered!
652
00:35:56,425 --> 00:35:57,927
Prince Fabious, what is wrong?
653
00:35:58,094 --> 00:35:59,453
Boremont, seize Julie,
654
00:35:59,553 --> 00:36:00,997
I'm afraid he's betrayed us!
655
00:36:01,097 --> 00:36:03,225
That thing is a dickless traitor!
656
00:36:03,474 --> 00:36:04,976
A traitor, you say.
Yes.
657
00:36:05,142 --> 00:36:07,691
I saw him seeking counsel with Leezar.
658
00:36:07,853 --> 00:36:10,527
Counsel? With Leezar?
659
00:36:11,315 --> 00:36:13,509
Well, if what they say is true,
660
00:36:13,609 --> 00:36:16,408
then, Julie, I have but one question for you.
661
00:36:16,988 --> 00:36:18,931
What were our master's orders?
662
00:36:19,031 --> 00:36:20,099
What?
663
00:36:20,199 --> 00:36:21,416
His orders were simple.
664
00:36:21,951 --> 00:36:24,545
Capture Fabious and kill the rest.
665
00:36:24,704 --> 00:36:27,523
Boremont, how could you?
666
00:36:27,623 --> 00:36:29,150
What about the code of the Knights Elite?
667
00:36:29,250 --> 00:36:30,297
Code?
668
00:36:30,584 --> 00:36:32,486
Upon your choice of best man for your wedding,
669
00:36:32,586 --> 00:36:34,864
your "code" became clear to me.
670
00:36:34,964 --> 00:36:36,807
You hurt my feelings.
671
00:36:37,216 --> 00:36:39,059
Now I shall hurt yours.
672
00:36:40,511 --> 00:36:41,979
Kill them all!
673
00:36:42,138 --> 00:36:43,765
Look out!
674
00:36:50,730 --> 00:36:51,714
To the carriage!
675
00:36:51,814 --> 00:36:53,507
Your friends tried to slay us.
676
00:36:53,607 --> 00:36:56,235
Those bastards!
Get in!
677
00:37:01,532 --> 00:37:02,642
After them!
678
00:37:02,742 --> 00:37:03,743
Okay, go!
679
00:37:14,045 --> 00:37:15,592
We've got company!
680
00:37:15,755 --> 00:37:16,948
Ready yourselves!
681
00:37:17,048 --> 00:37:18,300
These men are fierce!
682
00:37:24,430 --> 00:37:25,556
Oh, gods!
683
00:37:49,705 --> 00:37:51,207
Under the cart you go!
684
00:37:55,377 --> 00:37:57,300
Fucking sword!
Stab him!
685
00:37:57,463 --> 00:37:58,715
Stab him!
686
00:38:04,845 --> 00:38:06,643
You out his hair off!
687
00:38:17,525 --> 00:38:18,822
Fabious, he's coming!
688
00:38:18,984 --> 00:38:20,657
I know, get up here!
689
00:38:27,284 --> 00:38:28,285
Come on!
690
00:38:31,914 --> 00:38:33,006
Now what?
691
00:38:33,249 --> 00:38:35,968
I have a plan.
We jump on the horses and ride away.
692
00:38:36,627 --> 00:38:38,220
But the horses, they're moving.
693
00:38:38,379 --> 00:38:40,302
I know. I know.
694
00:38:48,597 --> 00:38:49,623
Come on!
695
00:38:49,723 --> 00:38:50,975
What? Want me, as well?
696
00:38:51,142 --> 00:38:52,234
Now!
697
00:38:56,438 --> 00:38:57,985
Face me, you traitor.
698
00:39:23,340 --> 00:39:24,387
Look!
699
00:39:43,235 --> 00:39:44,452
We did it!
700
00:39:49,742 --> 00:39:51,164
Yes!
701
00:39:54,246 --> 00:39:56,089
If I could have everyone's attention.
702
00:39:56,624 --> 00:39:59,173
I'd like to say a few words, if I may.
703
00:39:59,335 --> 00:40:01,679
I have prepared this feast
704
00:40:01,837 --> 00:40:04,761
in honor and appreciation of Belladonna.
705
00:40:04,924 --> 00:40:07,159
Seems like it was only yesterday
706
00:40:07,259 --> 00:40:10,729
that we used sorcery to burn
your village to the ground,
707
00:40:11,263 --> 00:40:12,560
come in and snatch you.
708
00:40:12,973 --> 00:40:14,125
But I remember looking at you
709
00:40:14,225 --> 00:40:15,647
all those years ago and thinking,
710
00:40:16,018 --> 00:40:18,521
"Wow, that's a baby. "
711
00:40:18,687 --> 00:40:21,657
"And that's the baby that someday
I will have to have sex with. "
712
00:40:21,815 --> 00:40:23,362
Now, look at me.
713
00:40:23,525 --> 00:40:25,619
A 19-year-old boy, almost a man,
714
00:40:26,820 --> 00:40:28,367
still a virgin.
715
00:40:28,530 --> 00:40:29,656
To the fuckening!
716
00:40:29,823 --> 00:40:31,245
Yes, to the fuckening!
717
00:40:31,617 --> 00:40:35,713
Leezar, what is this rubbish you have set before us?
718
00:40:35,871 --> 00:40:38,545
It's such a funny choice for a feast.
719
00:40:38,707 --> 00:40:40,276
I'm just a little overwhelmed right now.
720
00:40:40,376 --> 00:40:42,720
Dealing with her and you and the fucking prophecy.
721
00:40:42,878 --> 00:40:44,071
I mean, we could all just relax...
722
00:40:44,171 --> 00:40:45,388
Master.
723
00:40:45,506 --> 00:40:47,179
What do you want, Julie?
724
00:40:47,424 --> 00:40:49,722
Regrettably, the Princes of Mourne have escaped.
725
00:40:49,885 --> 00:40:52,229
You should've killed them at the
wedding when you had the chance.
726
00:40:52,388 --> 00:40:53,873
Fabious is of no purpose to us.
727
00:40:53,973 --> 00:40:55,082
Silence!
728
00:40:55,182 --> 00:40:58,169
His purpose is to destroy you and your evil ways.
729
00:40:58,269 --> 00:41:00,546
Would you shut up,
or I will love you less.
730
00:41:00,646 --> 00:41:02,523
Are those fish fingers you're eating?
731
00:41:02,690 --> 00:41:05,409
No more questions!
Now find them!
732
00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:11,324
Fabious, the horses!
They're escaping.
733
00:41:11,490 --> 00:41:14,915
Yes, it's a distraction to lead them off our trail.
734
00:41:15,077 --> 00:41:17,205
And what are we to do now?
Walk all the way home?
735
00:41:17,371 --> 00:41:19,857
Home? We're not going home.
736
00:41:19,957 --> 00:41:20,941
Just because the knights betrayed us
737
00:41:21,041 --> 00:41:23,089
does not mean we give up on the quest.
738
00:41:23,252 --> 00:41:25,380
Together we can still accomplish what needs to be done.
739
00:41:25,546 --> 00:41:27,531
How? We're lost, I'm hungry.
740
00:41:27,631 --> 00:41:29,867
This stump, it's putting my asshole to sleep.
741
00:41:29,967 --> 00:41:32,686
Thadeous, your feet are bare.
Put your boots on.
742
00:41:33,053 --> 00:41:35,164
They're filthy, I'm having them exfoliated.
743
00:41:35,264 --> 00:41:36,857
No time for exfoliation.
744
00:41:38,851 --> 00:41:40,398
The compass points north.
745
00:41:40,561 --> 00:41:42,188
We shall follow it still.
746
00:41:42,563 --> 00:41:45,282
I will not give up till Belladonna is safe in mine arms.
747
00:41:49,737 --> 00:41:51,705
Simon!
Where have you been?
748
00:41:53,157 --> 00:41:54,329
What?
749
00:41:54,450 --> 00:41:56,873
I left goddamn Steven back at camp.
750
00:41:57,244 --> 00:41:58,461
Who's Steven?
751
00:41:58,620 --> 00:42:00,543
He's my loyal animal companion.
752
00:42:00,706 --> 00:42:04,051
And he means just as much to me as Simon means to you.
753
00:42:04,209 --> 00:42:06,712
But I guess I'll never see him again.
754
00:42:06,879 --> 00:42:09,382
Very well.
I understand that bond.
755
00:42:09,590 --> 00:42:13,686
Let us return to camp, face the
traitors and rescue Steven.
756
00:42:13,802 --> 00:42:15,554
No, fuck it.
It's over.
757
00:42:15,763 --> 00:42:18,582
But, perhaps, since my animal
companion is no longer here,
758
00:42:18,682 --> 00:42:21,026
it's only fair that we get rid of yours as well.
759
00:42:23,020 --> 00:42:25,273
No, that would serve no purpose, Brother.
760
00:42:25,439 --> 00:42:27,383
That would be like me asking you to get rid of Courtney
761
00:42:27,483 --> 00:42:29,235
just because Julie is no longer with us.
762
00:42:29,443 --> 00:42:31,637
I will drown Courtney in the
shallow fucking pond right now
763
00:42:31,737 --> 00:42:32,846
if that means fair is fair.
764
00:42:32,946 --> 00:42:34,431
I don't like that idea, sir.
765
00:42:34,531 --> 00:42:36,475
No, Simon can help us.
766
00:42:36,575 --> 00:42:37,576
Simon,
767
00:42:37,910 --> 00:42:40,229
you must take this message to father.
768
00:42:40,329 --> 00:42:42,856
Tell him that the Knights Elite betrayed us
769
00:42:42,956 --> 00:42:46,426
and he must send an army across
the valley to Muldiss Darton
770
00:42:46,585 --> 00:42:48,929
and help us retrieve the Blade of Unicorn.
771
00:42:49,046 --> 00:42:50,155
Hurry, Simon!
772
00:42:50,255 --> 00:42:53,350
Fly to Mourne and deliver these desperate words.
773
00:42:53,592 --> 00:42:56,562
Fly!
774
00:43:01,767 --> 00:43:04,712
Come on, Manious,
you've been sniffing dirt all morning.
775
00:43:04,812 --> 00:43:07,589
We would not be in this position, Julie,
776
00:43:07,689 --> 00:43:10,533
if you wouldn't have gotten
caught communicating with Leezar.
777
00:43:10,651 --> 00:43:12,761
And if you ladies were proper assassins,
778
00:43:12,861 --> 00:43:16,286
you'd have cut them down back
there as the Dark Lord commanded.
779
00:43:17,741 --> 00:43:19,459
Manious, what do you see?
780
00:43:19,701 --> 00:43:22,375
They stepped towards the sun here.
781
00:43:22,538 --> 00:43:25,792
This blade of grass,
one of them pissed on it.
782
00:43:26,125 --> 00:43:30,175
And then they moved,
very quickly, mind, towards...
783
00:43:30,921 --> 00:43:31,968
There!
784
00:43:33,841 --> 00:43:35,309
That's Marteetee's land.
785
00:43:35,467 --> 00:43:36,468
What?
786
00:43:36,635 --> 00:43:39,388
Our mission may be completed sooner than I expected.
787
00:43:42,641 --> 00:43:45,294
If I may be so bold, Your Highness,
788
00:43:45,394 --> 00:43:48,193
what is the meaning of that ribbon that you hold?
789
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:50,027
This?
790
00:43:50,190 --> 00:43:52,051
It's a gift from Belladonna.
791
00:43:52,151 --> 00:43:54,324
A symbol of her virgin purity.
792
00:43:54,486 --> 00:43:56,864
I hold it and savor it.
793
00:43:56,989 --> 00:44:00,118
You do that instead of have sex with her?
794
00:44:00,284 --> 00:44:02,478
Belladonna is unlike any maiden in the kingdom.
795
00:44:02,578 --> 00:44:04,396
She behaves without judgment,
796
00:44:04,496 --> 00:44:06,043
defies expectation.
797
00:44:06,373 --> 00:44:07,983
When I first heard her voice
798
00:44:08,083 --> 00:44:09,943
3 teal' Came 110 my eye,
799
00:44:10,043 --> 00:44:11,737
and that tear turned to ice,
800
00:44:11,837 --> 00:44:13,781
and I kept that frozen tear
801
00:44:13,881 --> 00:44:16,384
far from my heart that burns with passion.
802
00:44:17,342 --> 00:44:18,844
If she had a wound,
803
00:44:19,011 --> 00:44:20,996
I would kiss it.
804
00:44:21,096 --> 00:44:23,374
If she had a splinter,
805
00:44:23,474 --> 00:44:27,024
I would pull it from her flesh with mine lips.
806
00:44:27,186 --> 00:44:32,363
Just say we are too late and
Leezar has had his way with her,
807
00:44:32,608 --> 00:44:36,203
would you still be able to be with her?
808
00:44:37,362 --> 00:44:38,864
I don't want to think about that.
809
00:44:39,031 --> 00:44:40,933
But just say that we were moments late,
810
00:44:41,033 --> 00:44:44,537
and he was able to get her cookies.
811
00:44:44,786 --> 00:44:45,854
Shut up.
812
00:44:45,954 --> 00:44:49,900
Yes, I know, but what if he butt-fucked her?
Would you still like her?
813
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:51,547
Do I have to write you a poem?
814
00:44:51,752 --> 00:44:54,255
There's never been a love so true as ours.
815
00:44:55,380 --> 00:44:56,882
That's pure love.
816
00:44:57,049 --> 00:44:58,392
Yes, it is.
817
00:44:58,509 --> 00:44:59,977
No, that's pure love.
818
00:45:00,219 --> 00:45:02,142
There's a naked woman standing behind you.
819
00:45:03,847 --> 00:45:05,975
Who is that?
820
00:45:06,266 --> 00:45:08,189
Is she looking at us?
821
00:45:08,310 --> 00:45:10,028
Who is it? is it him?
Are you looking to him?
822
00:45:10,229 --> 00:45:12,197
Is it Courtney?
Is it to me?
823
00:45:12,397 --> 00:45:13,649
It's Courtney.
I think it's to me.
824
00:45:14,399 --> 00:45:17,699
I believe she is taking her trousers off.
825
00:45:17,945 --> 00:45:21,014
Right, I will return momentarily.
826
00:45:21,114 --> 00:45:22,224
No.
827
00:45:22,324 --> 00:45:23,541
Thadeous, it might be a trap.
828
00:45:24,159 --> 00:45:28,289
The only thing those tits will trap is my warm spray.
829
00:45:28,455 --> 00:45:30,549
Have fun rubbing your ribbon.
830
00:45:31,083 --> 00:45:32,209
Disgusting.
831
00:45:33,001 --> 00:45:34,469
Come back here, you.
832
00:45:36,755 --> 00:45:39,599
I'm beginning to think he doesn't care about this quest.
833
00:45:39,758 --> 00:45:41,931
What could possibly make you think that, sir?
834
00:45:43,262 --> 00:45:45,515
Oh, shit! It's a trap.
A booby trap.
835
00:45:46,848 --> 00:45:48,316
It was a trap.
836
00:45:48,475 --> 00:45:49,977
White people,
I knew it!
837
00:45:50,143 --> 00:45:51,190
White people?
838
00:45:51,311 --> 00:45:53,005
Are they nice or are they mean?
They're mean!
839
00:45:53,105 --> 00:45:54,402
They're the meanest!
840
00:45:54,731 --> 00:45:55,757
What do we do?
841
00:45:55,857 --> 00:45:57,676
I don't know.
It is against code to strike a woman.
842
00:45:57,776 --> 00:45:58,886
I'm sick of your silly codes.
843
00:45:58,986 --> 00:46:00,283
Punch these ladies in the face!
844
00:46:10,205 --> 00:46:12,048
Sire, where are they taking us?
845
00:46:12,207 --> 00:46:14,881
I don't know.
Stay close!
846
00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:48,268
Marteetee.
847
00:46:48,368 --> 00:46:49,394
Mart-who?
848
00:46:49,494 --> 00:46:51,747
Silence!
849
00:46:52,247 --> 00:46:55,091
Good day, my little bees
850
00:46:55,250 --> 00:46:59,175
and welcome to my most special of events.
851
00:46:59,671 --> 00:47:02,220
We have a wonderful treat
852
00:47:02,382 --> 00:47:06,495
as you get to witness a sea of babbling men
853
00:47:06,595 --> 00:47:08,518
behold their fates.
854
00:47:10,432 --> 00:47:13,777
Enter, Dastardly!
855
00:47:28,742 --> 00:47:30,289
Bloodthirsty creatures.
856
00:47:44,466 --> 00:47:47,970
Brother, if I die, you must
promise me to continue our quest.
857
00:47:58,563 --> 00:48:00,065
No! Him.
858
00:48:00,232 --> 00:48:01,258
Kill him first!
859
00:48:01,358 --> 00:48:02,359
Stay away!
860
00:48:05,404 --> 00:48:06,555
Take the knife.
861
00:48:06,655 --> 00:48:07,781
Why?
862
00:48:07,989 --> 00:48:09,366
Watch this.
863
00:48:25,590 --> 00:48:26,591
Yes!
864
00:48:26,758 --> 00:48:28,385
No!
865
00:48:29,594 --> 00:48:31,312
Face! Yes!
866
00:48:39,271 --> 00:48:41,945
We've bested your finest warrior.
867
00:48:42,107 --> 00:48:44,201
Now grant us our freedom!
868
00:48:44,359 --> 00:48:45,385
Yeah!
869
00:48:45,485 --> 00:48:48,489
Bring Marteetee his cauldron!
870
00:48:51,158 --> 00:48:52,956
What is the cauldron?
871
00:48:59,958 --> 00:49:02,361
Are my bees ready
872
00:49:02,461 --> 00:49:05,590
for the grand finale?
873
00:49:13,180 --> 00:49:15,854
Yes, my pet!
874
00:49:15,974 --> 00:49:18,147
Come forth
875
00:49:18,435 --> 00:49:22,986
and show thy bulbous!
876
00:49:49,841 --> 00:49:50,842
Oh, gods!
877
00:49:56,890 --> 00:49:58,107
Over here!
878
00:50:00,185 --> 00:50:01,983
Hey, over here!
879
00:50:02,354 --> 00:50:03,606
Over here!
880
00:50:03,980 --> 00:50:05,482
Bring your fight to me!
881
00:50:29,047 --> 00:50:30,173
Thadeous!
882
00:50:31,383 --> 00:50:32,492
Sir!
883
00:50:32,592 --> 00:50:34,786
I've been bitten!
I can't move my leg.
884
00:50:34,886 --> 00:50:36,058
You've got to suck out the venom.
885
00:50:36,221 --> 00:50:37,518
I don't want to suck it!
You suck it!
886
00:50:37,639 --> 00:50:38,957
I can't suck my own venom!
887
00:50:39,057 --> 00:50:40,183
Yes, you can.
I'll help you!
888
00:50:40,350 --> 00:50:42,398
Suck it!
Suck your venom.
889
00:50:42,519 --> 00:50:43,962
I can't reach it with my mouth!
890
00:50:44,062 --> 00:50:45,088
Courtney, suck the venom!
891
00:50:45,188 --> 00:50:46,735
I've never sucked...
Suck it!
892
00:50:47,315 --> 00:50:51,570
And who have we here?
893
00:50:51,778 --> 00:50:54,406
A sprightly little warrior you are.
894
00:50:54,614 --> 00:50:56,683
Suck it!
Right there! Suck it!
895
00:50:56,783 --> 00:51:00,788
I will make nice when I enter you!
896
00:51:01,913 --> 00:51:03,506
It's coming!
It's coming!
897
00:51:05,292 --> 00:51:06,509
Courtney spit the load!
898
00:51:06,668 --> 00:51:08,136
Don't swallow the venom!
Spit it!
899
00:51:10,839 --> 00:51:12,716
Come on! Come on!
900
00:51:24,352 --> 00:51:25,820
Kill it!
Fuck it up!
901
00:51:31,776 --> 00:51:32,777
Yes!
902
00:51:49,461 --> 00:51:50,633
What?
903
00:51:52,047 --> 00:51:57,019
Who is he that dares destroy my beautiful baby?
904
00:52:01,181 --> 00:52:02,165
It's a woman.
905
00:52:02,265 --> 00:52:03,375
I can see.
906
00:52:03,475 --> 00:52:04,522
Marteetee,
907
00:52:04,809 --> 00:52:06,753
when I was a child you enslaved my father
908
00:52:06,853 --> 00:52:08,821
and slaughtered him in this very arena.
909
00:52:09,105 --> 00:52:10,340
Today I avenge him.
910
00:52:10,440 --> 00:52:13,239
First by killing the beast,
second, by killing you.
911
00:52:13,443 --> 00:52:17,118
Well, well, my tiny bee...
912
00:52:31,503 --> 00:52:32,971
Let's go!
We're going!
913
00:52:47,978 --> 00:52:49,400
Brother, are you all right?
I'm fine!
914
00:52:49,521 --> 00:52:50,647
Come on, let's go!
915
00:52:52,232 --> 00:52:53,575
This way!
916
00:53:05,495 --> 00:53:06,813
Excuse me, my lady.
917
00:53:06,913 --> 00:53:09,291
May I but speak with you a moment?
918
00:53:09,749 --> 00:53:11,109
I'd like to introduce myself.
919
00:53:11,209 --> 00:53:13,382
I am Prince Fabious of Mourne
920
00:53:13,586 --> 00:53:15,822
and this is my brother, Thadeous,
921
00:53:15,922 --> 00:53:18,533
and his squire, young Courtney.
922
00:53:18,633 --> 00:53:19,618
Hello.
923
00:53:19,718 --> 00:53:22,471
We'd like to thank you for your
help with that dread beast.
924
00:53:22,595 --> 00:53:24,998
I have no time for your maiden pleasantries.
925
00:53:25,098 --> 00:53:26,583
My quest continues to the north.
926
00:53:26,683 --> 00:53:28,526
As does ours.
927
00:53:29,477 --> 00:53:31,254
I thought maybe for the sake of both our quests,
928
00:53:31,354 --> 00:53:32,697
that we could travel together.
929
00:53:32,856 --> 00:53:35,200
At least, until we reach civilization.
930
00:53:35,483 --> 00:53:36,551
Yes, civilization.
931
00:53:36,651 --> 00:53:38,870
We are good men, we're questing to save my...
932
00:53:39,029 --> 00:53:40,180
Excuse my brother.
933
00:53:40,280 --> 00:53:43,159
He's not familiar with the customs of the road.
934
00:53:43,324 --> 00:53:45,827
Do not touch me.
Why are you making me look bad?
935
00:53:45,952 --> 00:53:48,626
A warrior on the road never
divulges the nature of his quest.
936
00:53:48,872 --> 00:53:51,316
One never knows if his aim may conflict with another's.
937
00:53:51,416 --> 00:53:53,293
Yes, I was just being nice.
938
00:53:54,002 --> 00:53:55,612
As we are on the same path,
939
00:53:55,712 --> 00:53:58,386
I suppose you boys may follow me to Muldiss Darton.
940
00:53:58,548 --> 00:54:00,642
From there I seek navigation and march alone.
941
00:54:00,800 --> 00:54:03,724
We thank you.
And may we have your name?
942
00:54:04,179 --> 00:54:05,305
I'm Isabel.
943
00:54:05,472 --> 00:54:07,941
The last living member of the Harshbarger order.
944
00:54:08,099 --> 00:54:10,727
Well, Isabel, my brother and myself will ensure
945
00:54:10,894 --> 00:54:13,254
that you run into no danger while you travel with us.
946
00:54:13,354 --> 00:54:15,982
With our huge muscles,
we shall protect you.
947
00:54:16,232 --> 00:54:17,609
Who? Protect what?
948
00:54:17,776 --> 00:54:19,260
To be fair,
everyone will protect
949
00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:21,283
each other equally, I'm certain.
950
00:54:21,446 --> 00:54:25,451
But we will protect her more because we are men.
951
00:54:33,583 --> 00:54:35,426
Boo!
Gods!
952
00:54:35,585 --> 00:54:36,711
What are you doing, Brother?
953
00:54:36,878 --> 00:54:39,381
What right do you have,
scaring a man like that?
954
00:54:39,547 --> 00:54:41,324
Oh. What right have you to spy
955
00:54:41,424 --> 00:54:43,097
on a bathing woman from the shrubs?
956
00:54:43,593 --> 00:54:45,561
I'm simply keeping an eye on her.
957
00:54:45,720 --> 00:54:47,914
She is not like one of our dimwitted chamber maids
958
00:54:48,014 --> 00:54:49,749
that let me take them from behind.
959
00:54:49,849 --> 00:54:51,376
This woman has me vexed.
960
00:54:51,476 --> 00:54:52,877
What exactly would it take for one
961
00:54:52,977 --> 00:54:54,820
to tame such an adventurous slut?
962
00:54:55,522 --> 00:54:58,383
I imagine she'd want her man to be honorable,
963
00:54:58,483 --> 00:55:01,703
bold, brave, know his way around a blade.
964
00:55:01,903 --> 00:55:05,703
Oh, god, she's looking at us.
Remain perfectly still.
965
00:55:29,264 --> 00:55:31,938
We're almost out of wood.
966
00:55:33,601 --> 00:55:37,026
Courtney, perhaps you and I should
go and collect some firewood.
967
00:55:37,313 --> 00:55:38,339
Yeah.
968
00:55:38,439 --> 00:55:41,989
If you two wouldn't mind tending these embers.
969
00:55:42,443 --> 00:55:43,490
No, of course not.
970
00:55:43,987 --> 00:55:45,614
Tend away.
971
00:56:00,253 --> 00:56:03,348
Care for another bite of some meat?
972
00:56:07,969 --> 00:56:10,472
You're not much for talking, are you?
973
00:56:10,638 --> 00:56:13,858
A true warrior must keep her focus on the road.
974
00:56:14,017 --> 00:56:16,736
One never knows when death might be dealt.
975
00:56:16,853 --> 00:56:18,480
Yes, of course.
976
00:56:19,147 --> 00:56:20,840
I've been involved in many
977
00:56:20,940 --> 00:56:24,035
death dealings in focus-al moments.
978
00:56:24,194 --> 00:56:25,845
Yes, by your childish shrieks
979
00:56:25,945 --> 00:56:27,305
in the face of Marteetee's beast,
980
00:56:27,405 --> 00:56:29,224
one could see as much.
981
00:56:29,324 --> 00:56:30,951
What exactly is your problem with me?
982
00:56:31,159 --> 00:56:33,770
Do you have a sword stuck so far up your butt-hole
983
00:56:33,870 --> 00:56:36,544
that you cannot even enjoy yourself for one moment?
984
00:56:36,664 --> 00:56:39,213
My quest affords me no such luxury.
985
00:56:39,375 --> 00:56:41,548
Not even on a tender night like this?
986
00:56:41,836 --> 00:56:43,363
The moons glimmering,
987
00:56:43,463 --> 00:56:46,182
the cold air licking your tits.
988
00:56:46,507 --> 00:56:50,353
On a night just like this I returned home from a hunt
989
00:56:50,511 --> 00:56:52,388
to find a bloodbath.
990
00:56:52,555 --> 00:56:54,707
Nothing remained of my six beloved brothers
991
00:56:54,807 --> 00:56:57,043
save for their severed heads on stakes.
992
00:56:57,143 --> 00:56:58,920
Their eyes had been plucked,
993
00:56:59,020 --> 00:57:01,256
their teeth taken as tokens.
994
00:57:01,356 --> 00:57:05,031
I wear this bracelet, forged
of the steel of their shields,
995
00:57:05,193 --> 00:57:07,742
as a constant reminder of my vow to avenge them.
996
00:57:07,904 --> 00:57:11,432
My only advice would just be to keep your head up,
997
00:57:11,532 --> 00:57:12,976
hang in there,
998
00:57:13,076 --> 00:57:15,170
live every day to the fullest,
999
00:57:15,370 --> 00:57:17,021
have sex as much as you can
1000
00:57:17,121 --> 00:57:18,668
by campfire when you're all alone
1001
00:57:18,831 --> 00:57:20,879
and your brother is out gathering wood.
1002
00:57:21,042 --> 00:57:22,510
Just simple things like that.
1003
00:57:24,837 --> 00:57:26,885
Do you think he'll make love with her tonight?
1004
00:57:27,048 --> 00:57:28,846
Not a chance.
1005
00:57:32,387 --> 00:57:35,687
Either way, I've spent a lifetime often envious of him.
1006
00:57:35,848 --> 00:57:36,895
Envious of Thadeous?
1007
00:57:37,392 --> 00:57:40,896
All the times that he could sit back and have a laugh
1008
00:57:41,062 --> 00:57:43,736
and really enjoy the moment.
1009
00:57:43,898 --> 00:57:46,342
And I was up on stage
1010
00:57:46,442 --> 00:57:49,137
wearing make-up to cover my acne.
1011
00:57:49,237 --> 00:57:51,786
My hair perfectly coiffed, even for war.
1012
00:57:53,574 --> 00:57:56,623
I think you misunderstand the situation.
1013
00:57:56,786 --> 00:58:02,043
He constantly gazes at you with such eager eyes.
1014
00:58:02,583 --> 00:58:05,257
Sometimes he borrows your armor
1015
00:58:05,420 --> 00:58:09,490
and he prances around the
courtyard, flailing your sword,
1016
00:58:09,590 --> 00:58:12,160
going, "I am Fabious!
1017
00:58:12,260 --> 00:58:14,433
"Look at me slay dragon. "
1018
00:58:15,972 --> 00:58:18,646
He does it out of love.
He loves you, sir.
1019
00:58:19,225 --> 00:58:20,772
He adores you.
1020
00:58:23,229 --> 00:58:26,483
I know tragedy as well.
My mother is dead.
1021
00:58:26,649 --> 00:58:28,777
I have someone dead in my family, too.
1022
00:58:28,943 --> 00:58:31,012
Also, recently
1023
00:58:31,112 --> 00:58:34,207
my brother's bride-to-be was stolen
1024
00:58:34,449 --> 00:58:36,292
by a devious wizard.
1025
00:58:36,576 --> 00:58:37,873
Wizard?
1026
00:58:40,413 --> 00:58:41,835
If you could keep a secret,
1027
00:58:42,957 --> 00:58:44,359
it was Leezar.
1028
00:58:44,459 --> 00:58:45,631
Leezar?
1029
00:58:48,421 --> 00:58:50,698
I understand he's a very dangerous man.
1030
00:58:50,798 --> 00:58:53,472
That's why Fabious turned to me.
1031
00:58:53,634 --> 00:58:56,888
The most bold and brave and honorable man that he knows.
1032
00:58:58,056 --> 00:59:00,309
We aim to kill the magical cocksucker.
1033
00:59:00,641 --> 00:59:02,393
Do you see this compass?
1034
00:59:02,810 --> 00:59:04,904
What a fascinating device.
1035
00:59:05,855 --> 00:59:08,358
It will lead us to a labyrinth which holds a blade.
1036
00:59:08,524 --> 00:59:12,324
The only weapon strong enough to defeat the wizard.
1037
00:59:12,487 --> 00:59:15,161
Well, perhaps I misjudged you.
1038
00:59:15,323 --> 00:59:16,825
It's not your fault.
1039
00:59:16,991 --> 00:59:19,790
I know I may seem like I have a rugged exterior,
1040
00:59:19,952 --> 00:59:24,833
but underneath it all, I have a
golden heart that beats and beats.
1041
00:59:42,016 --> 00:59:44,189
So beautiful.
1042
00:59:48,523 --> 00:59:50,241
That poor creature.
1043
00:59:57,824 --> 00:59:58,916
That's right.
1044
01:00:02,745 --> 01:00:03,917
Look at yourself.
1045
01:00:04,080 --> 01:00:06,924
Why would anyone ever want to be with you?
1046
01:00:07,041 --> 01:00:08,985
Hmm. I'm not sure, really.
1047
01:00:09,085 --> 01:00:10,945
Oh, yeah.
Perhaps, because I'm rich,
1048
01:00:11,045 --> 01:00:13,218
I live in a castle and I can do magic.
1049
01:00:13,381 --> 01:00:19,263
Okay, then why did you need to
kidnap me if you're so desirable?
1050
01:00:19,429 --> 01:00:22,057
Because I'm the prophecy born, maybe.
1051
01:00:22,223 --> 01:00:24,351
Or I'm going to have a dragon soon
1052
01:00:24,517 --> 01:00:25,793
which I'll be able to control,
1053
01:00:25,893 --> 01:00:27,395
and it's going to give me ultimate power.
1054
01:00:27,562 --> 01:00:29,797
How? Because you can make a dragon do things?
1055
01:00:29,897 --> 01:00:32,425
Yes. I could make it devour people
1056
01:00:32,525 --> 01:00:34,903
or breathe fire over the Kingdom of Mourne.
1057
01:00:35,069 --> 01:00:36,804
Sounds flimsy.
1058
01:00:36,904 --> 01:00:38,639
First of all,
you obviously don't know
1059
01:00:38,739 --> 01:00:40,741
jack shit about the prophecy.
1060
01:00:40,908 --> 01:00:43,912
How do you know that it won't
be me who controls the dragon?
1061
01:00:44,078 --> 01:00:46,547
Because I am the chosen one.
1062
01:00:46,706 --> 01:00:50,051
Chosen one controls the dragon.
1063
01:00:50,209 --> 01:00:51,836
Those are the rules, basically.
1064
01:00:54,797 --> 01:00:56,265
What are you laughing at?
1065
01:00:56,424 --> 01:00:57,742
I was just thinking about your penis
1066
01:00:57,842 --> 01:01:00,061
and how unusual it must look.
1067
01:01:00,845 --> 01:01:02,413
It doesn't look unusual.
1068
01:01:02,513 --> 01:01:04,106
How do you know it's going to work?
1069
01:01:04,307 --> 01:01:06,355
Because I've tested it.
Really?
1070
01:01:06,767 --> 01:01:10,613
And if your vagina is anything like my hand
1071
01:01:10,771 --> 01:01:13,615
there will be no problem.
1072
01:01:17,111 --> 01:01:20,056
Fair warriors, arise.
1073
01:01:20,156 --> 01:01:22,266
Two days before the eclipse.
1074
01:01:22,366 --> 01:01:25,520
Thadeous, hand me the compass so I can check its shadow.
1075
01:01:25,620 --> 01:01:26,687
What?
1076
01:01:26,787 --> 01:01:27,913
The compass.
1077
01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:32,485
That's weird.
1078
01:01:32,585 --> 01:01:34,804
It was around my neck when I slept.
1079
01:01:34,962 --> 01:01:36,464
Where is it, Thadeous?
1080
01:01:36,631 --> 01:01:38,474
I don't know.
I just woke up.
1081
01:01:38,716 --> 01:01:40,844
Isabel seems to have gone.
1082
01:01:46,349 --> 01:01:47,441
Thadeous,
1083
01:01:47,683 --> 01:01:49,043
you didn't by chance tell her
1084
01:01:49,143 --> 01:01:51,646
anything about the nature of our quest, did you?
1085
01:01:52,146 --> 01:01:54,649
I may have dropped
1086
01:01:54,815 --> 01:01:56,658
a few minor details.
1087
01:01:56,817 --> 01:01:58,535
Did you tell Isabel
1088
01:01:58,945 --> 01:02:02,870
anything about the one-of-a-kind mythical compass?
1089
01:02:06,327 --> 01:02:07,874
Gods!
1090
01:02:08,037 --> 01:02:09,539
She's run off with the compass.
1091
01:02:09,705 --> 01:02:11,441
We don't know that for sure.
Oh, yeah?
1092
01:02:11,541 --> 01:02:14,545
Where is it?
Where is she?
1093
01:02:14,710 --> 01:02:16,904
All right, well,
it wasn't my fault.
1094
01:02:17,004 --> 01:02:19,282
I was falling madly in love with her.
1095
01:02:19,382 --> 01:02:21,617
I was bedazzled by her sweet bosom.
1096
01:02:21,717 --> 01:02:22,702
I was helpless.
1097
01:02:22,802 --> 01:02:23,849
You fool!
1098
01:02:24,011 --> 01:02:27,373
Without the compass, how do
we find the Blade of Unicorn?
1099
01:02:27,473 --> 01:02:29,851
And without that sword,
how do we defeat Leezar?
1100
01:02:30,017 --> 01:02:33,021
Maybe we can find some other way,
with nets or something.
1101
01:02:33,187 --> 01:02:34,359
Nets?
1102
01:02:34,522 --> 01:02:36,024
Oh, that's a great plan.
1103
01:02:36,190 --> 01:02:38,989
And meanwhile, Belladonna's going to get raped and die!
1104
01:02:39,193 --> 01:02:41,366
We don't know for sure if she'll die.
1105
01:02:41,529 --> 01:02:42,972
Is this a joke to you?
1106
01:02:43,072 --> 01:02:45,766
Look, I'm sorry,
but I shouldn't even be here.
1107
01:02:45,866 --> 01:02:48,436
We've almost been killed multiple times.
1108
01:02:48,536 --> 01:02:50,288
I will probably die on this quest.
1109
01:02:50,413 --> 01:02:52,507
Courtney definitely will.
1110
01:02:53,374 --> 01:02:55,593
Fuck Courtney,
and fuck you!
1111
01:02:55,751 --> 01:02:58,595
Maybe they're right,
everything they say about you.
1112
01:02:58,754 --> 01:03:00,531
They only say that stuff because of you,
1113
01:03:00,631 --> 01:03:03,159
because you go out and have to pretend to be the best.
1114
01:03:03,259 --> 01:03:05,244
And they look at me like I'm some sort of idiot.
1115
01:03:05,344 --> 01:03:07,392
Everyone in the kingdom wants to suck your dick.
1116
01:03:07,555 --> 01:03:09,933
No one wants to suck mine!
1117
01:03:10,933 --> 01:03:13,027
Oh, Thadeous,
1118
01:03:13,185 --> 01:03:16,280
you have the potential to be such a noble warrior,
1119
01:03:16,439 --> 01:03:19,033
but instead you just let yourself go,
1120
01:03:19,191 --> 01:03:21,114
and everyone around you.
1121
01:03:21,277 --> 01:03:24,121
You have no idea what it's like to be me.
1122
01:03:24,280 --> 01:03:26,453
Being your brother is a curse.
1123
01:03:26,616 --> 01:03:29,916
I'd rather be brothers with anyone else but you.
1124
01:03:34,290 --> 01:03:37,985
You say nothing else for fear of what I might do.
1125
01:03:38,085 --> 01:03:39,883
Nothing!
1126
01:03:41,631 --> 01:03:44,305
Now get dressed and comb your hair.
1127
01:03:44,467 --> 01:03:45,935
I'm going to Muldiss Darton.
1128
01:04:12,119 --> 01:04:13,746
Sex.
1129
01:04:23,756 --> 01:04:25,679
Come on, Courtney.
1130
01:04:25,841 --> 01:04:27,184
Come on.
1131
01:04:37,311 --> 01:04:41,191
For better or worse, we're here.
Muldiss Darton.
1132
01:04:54,453 --> 01:04:55,771
You and Courtney entertain yourselves.
1133
01:04:55,871 --> 01:04:57,481
I'm going off to find the sword alone.
1134
01:04:57,581 --> 01:04:58,608
Alone?
1135
01:04:58,708 --> 01:05:00,359
I can't afford to waste any more time.
1136
01:05:00,459 --> 01:05:03,008
Well, what are we to do?
1137
01:05:03,170 --> 01:05:05,719
Do whatever it is you do, Thadeous.
1138
01:05:08,676 --> 01:05:12,021
Well, obviously he's still upset.
1139
01:05:21,814 --> 01:05:23,737
Oh, gods, Courtney.
1140
01:05:23,899 --> 01:05:25,526
How my heart laments.
1141
01:05:25,693 --> 01:05:29,493
Having been betrayed by the sways of a beautiful woman.
1142
01:05:29,655 --> 01:05:32,600
And Fabious, throwing his goddamn tantrums
1143
01:05:32,700 --> 01:05:35,544
with no regard for anyone else's feelings.
1144
01:05:35,828 --> 01:05:37,980
He really needs to consider...
1145
01:05:38,080 --> 01:05:39,857
Sir, look over there.
1146
01:05:39,957 --> 01:05:42,460
It's that thieving Isabel.
1147
01:05:43,335 --> 01:05:46,088
My gods!
The balls of this woman!
1148
01:05:47,173 --> 01:05:49,050
Do you think any of those men are her boyfriends?
1149
01:05:49,216 --> 01:05:50,326
Possibly.
1150
01:05:50,426 --> 01:05:52,224
Who would ever want to be her boyfriend?
1151
01:05:52,344 --> 01:05:53,436
What do we do?
1152
01:05:53,554 --> 01:05:55,056
I'll tell you what we do.
1153
01:05:55,222 --> 01:05:57,958
We go over there,
we get the compass back,
1154
01:05:58,058 --> 01:05:59,460
we give it to Fabious,
1155
01:05:59,560 --> 01:06:00,920
we make him feel horrible
1156
01:06:01,020 --> 01:06:02,488
for the way in which he treated me,
1157
01:06:02,605 --> 01:06:04,357
and then you and I head for home.
1158
01:06:04,607 --> 01:06:06,905
You believe it to be as easy as that, sir?
1159
01:06:07,067 --> 01:06:10,742
Courtney, she is a woman,
and we are a man.
1160
01:06:11,447 --> 01:06:14,075
How hard could this be?
1161
01:06:14,241 --> 01:06:15,914
It's my birthday today, you know.
1162
01:06:16,076 --> 01:06:17,453
Fuck that.
1163
01:06:45,356 --> 01:06:46,340
Boremont!
1164
01:06:46,440 --> 01:06:48,238
You dare to betray me twice?
1165
01:06:48,400 --> 01:06:50,261
No, it's the same betrayal as before.
1166
01:06:50,361 --> 01:06:51,762
It all just counts as one.
1167
01:06:51,862 --> 01:06:55,116
I suggest you surrender before
my father's army gets here.
1168
01:06:55,324 --> 01:06:58,498
After Simon's message, they
should be arriving nigh on now.
1169
01:06:58,661 --> 01:07:00,855
Ah, yes.
1170
01:07:00,955 --> 01:07:03,458
About your tin pet.
1171
01:07:06,168 --> 01:07:07,841
Simon.
1172
01:07:11,173 --> 01:07:12,742
Best of luck with your quest.
1173
01:07:12,842 --> 01:07:14,515
And you with yours.
1174
01:07:19,598 --> 01:07:21,817
Not so fast,
trickster.
1175
01:07:22,101 --> 01:07:23,853
Hello, Thadeous.
1176
01:07:24,019 --> 01:07:25,379
The time for pleasantries is through.
1177
01:07:25,479 --> 01:07:27,197
Do you feel that tiny prick in your back?
1178
01:07:27,356 --> 01:07:28,528
Is that your cock?
1179
01:07:28,691 --> 01:07:32,195
No, 't is a knife, but I'll
gladly penetrate you with it.
1180
01:07:32,361 --> 01:07:33,988
Now look over your shoulder.
1181
01:07:34,154 --> 01:07:36,156
Other shoulder.
1182
01:07:39,201 --> 01:07:40,828
Frightening.
1183
01:07:40,995 --> 01:07:44,374
We have you surrounded.
An animal in a cage.
1184
01:07:44,540 --> 01:07:46,213
Now sit.
1185
01:07:52,840 --> 01:07:56,786
So, who were those handsome men you were talking to?
1186
01:07:56,886 --> 01:07:58,412
My contacts.
1187
01:07:58,512 --> 01:07:59,914
By contacts do you mean
1188
01:08:00,014 --> 01:08:02,708
men you trick into liking you so you can fuck them over?
1189
01:08:02,808 --> 01:08:04,084
What are you talking about?
1190
01:08:04,184 --> 01:08:05,211
You know what I'm talking about.
1191
01:08:05,311 --> 01:08:06,813
The compass.
Hand it over now.
1192
01:08:06,979 --> 01:08:08,356
You lied.
It does nothing.
1193
01:08:08,606 --> 01:08:11,467
Maybe if you would've gone to
the Wize Wizard like we did,
1194
01:08:11,567 --> 01:08:15,197
he could have explained to you
that it only works in sunlight.
1195
01:08:15,362 --> 01:08:16,597
Really?
1196
01:08:16,697 --> 01:08:18,540
Shit, I shouldn't have told you that.
1197
01:08:18,657 --> 01:08:20,392
Isn't the Wize Wizard a pervert?
1198
01:08:20,492 --> 01:08:21,539
Yes.
1199
01:08:22,036 --> 01:08:23,879
Sadly, I think he molested my brother.
1200
01:08:24,371 --> 01:08:25,606
That's unfortunate.
1201
01:08:25,706 --> 01:08:28,084
Enough of your sympathy.
The compass. Give it.
1202
01:08:28,250 --> 01:08:30,218
I need it to destroy Leezar.
1203
01:08:30,377 --> 01:08:31,674
Your quest is to kill Leezar?
1204
01:08:31,837 --> 01:08:34,716
Yes. My family is the order of the Golden Knights.
1205
01:08:34,882 --> 01:08:37,931
We're sworn to obstruct the
prophecy of the dragon eclipse.
1206
01:08:38,344 --> 01:08:39,766
That's what the Golden Knights do?
1207
01:08:39,929 --> 01:08:41,789
It is my legacy to stop anyone
1208
01:08:41,889 --> 01:08:43,857
who wants to fuck to make dragons.
1209
01:08:44,016 --> 01:08:47,002
Yuck. Well, that's the same thing we're trying to do.
1210
01:08:47,102 --> 01:08:49,275
Why would you hinder us and steal the compass?
1211
01:08:49,396 --> 01:08:51,774
His mothers sent my brothers to their death.
1212
01:08:51,982 --> 01:08:53,717
I must stop Leezar and I can't afford
1213
01:08:53,817 --> 01:08:55,285
to let anyone get in my way.
1214
01:08:55,402 --> 01:08:57,905
Least of all,
a slob and his boy.
1215
01:08:58,072 --> 01:08:59,974
Guess what?
I despise you.
1216
01:09:00,074 --> 01:09:02,076
You're a bully and a whore.
1217
01:09:02,242 --> 01:09:04,040
Now give me the compass now.
1218
01:09:04,203 --> 01:09:05,187
And if I don't?
1219
01:09:05,287 --> 01:09:06,334
Well,
1220
01:09:09,750 --> 01:09:11,423
then things will get very nasty.
1221
01:09:11,585 --> 01:09:12,586
Oh, really?
1222
01:09:12,753 --> 01:09:14,300
Oh, really.
1223
01:09:26,558 --> 01:09:28,435
Oh! God! Courtney,
fucking do something.
1224
01:09:28,602 --> 01:09:29,945
Your Highness!
1225
01:09:30,104 --> 01:09:31,105
Excuse me.
1226
01:09:31,271 --> 01:09:32,272
What the fuck?
1227
01:09:38,278 --> 01:09:39,655
Take that shit outside!
1228
01:09:42,700 --> 01:09:43,792
Oh, sorry.
1229
01:09:53,293 --> 01:09:54,385
Hello.
1230
01:10:29,496 --> 01:10:32,066
Thank you for the hospitality, gentlemen.
1231
01:10:32,166 --> 01:10:33,609
That didn't really go as planned.
1232
01:10:33,709 --> 01:10:35,235
She's gone and now so is the compass.
1233
01:10:35,335 --> 01:10:37,053
She is, indeed, gone, sir.
1234
01:10:37,212 --> 01:10:39,990
The compass, however, is right here.
1235
01:10:40,090 --> 01:10:41,763
Courtney, my good man.
1236
01:10:42,968 --> 01:10:44,119
How did you do it?
1237
01:10:44,219 --> 01:10:45,412
Before your father bought me,
1238
01:10:45,512 --> 01:10:48,749
I was a sex slave for a band of gypsies in the north
1239
01:10:48,849 --> 01:10:52,149
and they taught me a thing or two about sleight-of-hand.
1240
01:10:52,352 --> 01:10:53,854
Oh, you.
1241
01:10:54,021 --> 01:10:55,694
Now you see me,
now you don't.
1242
01:10:56,231 --> 01:10:57,278
Delicious.
1243
01:11:00,152 --> 01:11:01,804
I can't wait to see the look
1244
01:11:01,904 --> 01:11:04,598
on Fabious' silly face when he sees this.
1245
01:11:04,698 --> 01:11:05,699
Clear!
1246
01:11:10,704 --> 01:11:11,730
Fabious.
1247
01:11:11,830 --> 01:11:13,503
What do we do?
1248
01:11:14,041 --> 01:11:15,213
I'll tell you what we do.
1249
01:11:15,334 --> 01:11:18,508
We will steal a steed and we will ride to the next town.
1250
01:11:18,712 --> 01:11:20,322
We become ghosts,
start a brand new life,
1251
01:11:20,422 --> 01:11:22,783
one where you still serve me.
And we're stable boys,
1252
01:11:22,883 --> 01:11:24,493
and we bed the fickle wives of farmers.
1253
01:11:24,593 --> 01:11:25,786
What about Fabious?
1254
01:11:25,886 --> 01:11:27,012
Oh, Fabious.
1255
01:11:27,179 --> 01:11:28,414
We'll remember him fondly.
1256
01:11:28,514 --> 01:11:31,083
I really think we should try and rescue him.
1257
01:11:31,183 --> 01:11:33,436
But, how, Courtney?
You are weak, and I am hungry.
1258
01:11:34,603 --> 01:11:37,903
You deceitful pricks.
You stole the compass from me.
1259
01:11:38,065 --> 01:11:40,467
Who? I didn't.
Courtney did.
1260
01:11:40,567 --> 01:11:42,319
Please have mercy on us, lady warrior.
1261
01:11:42,903 --> 01:11:45,531
Fabious has been captured by Leezar and his men.
1262
01:11:45,697 --> 01:11:47,266
He was captured?
1263
01:11:47,366 --> 01:11:48,458
Yes.
1264
01:11:48,784 --> 01:11:51,537
We got into a huge swordfight
1265
01:11:51,703 --> 01:11:53,480
and we were able to escape
1266
01:11:53,580 --> 01:11:55,457
and he was not.
1267
01:11:55,582 --> 01:11:57,459
I know how you're feeling inside.
1268
01:11:57,626 --> 01:11:58,652
As if you cannot rest
1269
01:11:58,752 --> 01:12:02,448
until you destroy those who harmed your family.
1270
01:12:02,548 --> 01:12:06,368
You want to skin them alive
then wear their flesh as a cape
1271
01:12:06,468 --> 01:12:09,563
as you dance around their convulsing corpses.
1272
01:12:10,931 --> 01:12:11,915
Yes, of course.
1273
01:12:12,015 --> 01:12:13,107
Yes.
1274
01:12:13,267 --> 01:12:15,315
That feeling is all too familiar.
1275
01:12:15,602 --> 01:12:16,920
It's been burning in my beaver
1276
01:12:17,020 --> 01:12:19,193
since the day I lost my brothers.
1277
01:12:19,606 --> 01:12:21,153
We've had our differences,
1278
01:12:21,817 --> 01:12:23,343
but if we work together,
1279
01:12:23,443 --> 01:12:26,413
we can save your brother,
avenge my family,
1280
01:12:26,572 --> 01:12:29,451
and destroy Leezar once and for all.
1281
01:12:30,284 --> 01:12:32,958
This woman is mad.
1282
01:12:52,514 --> 01:12:54,437
I believe we found our labyrinth.
1283
01:12:54,850 --> 01:12:58,150
Where? The compass has led us to a dead end.
1284
01:12:58,312 --> 01:13:00,280
Shall we return home?
1285
01:13:00,439 --> 01:13:02,341
It appears as though there's something written here
1286
01:13:02,441 --> 01:13:04,284
in the language of the Highland Dwarf.
1287
01:13:04,651 --> 01:13:05,948
I can't read it.
1288
01:13:06,111 --> 01:13:10,662
Sir, you're well-versed in the
Highland Dwarf language, aren't you?
1289
01:13:10,991 --> 01:13:13,164
You read Dwarf, Thadeous?
1290
01:13:13,327 --> 01:13:16,206
I have had encounters with those people, yes.
1291
01:13:16,371 --> 01:13:18,965
Really?
Well, then what does it say?
1292
01:13:19,708 --> 01:13:21,176
Fucker.
1293
01:13:29,676 --> 01:13:31,053
It's nonsense.
1294
01:13:31,220 --> 01:13:34,957
It says, "What leads you here will lead you there. "
1295
01:13:35,057 --> 01:13:36,291
It's rubbish.
1296
01:13:36,391 --> 01:13:37,960
Highland Dwarves are a silly culture.
1297
01:13:38,060 --> 01:13:41,155
Oftentimes they speak and I have no
idea what they're talking about.
1298
01:13:43,857 --> 01:13:45,029
What is she doing?
1299
01:13:45,359 --> 01:13:46,781
Perfect fit.
1300
01:14:07,714 --> 01:14:08,806
You coming?
1301
01:14:53,260 --> 01:14:54,853
What is that foul stench?
1302
01:14:56,054 --> 01:14:57,647
What was that noise?
1303
01:14:57,806 --> 01:15:01,436
I don't know, Courtney.
But I don't like this.
1304
01:15:11,987 --> 01:15:14,456
I fear we're not alone in here.
1305
01:15:37,512 --> 01:15:40,140
What is that thing?
I don't know, but run!
1306
01:15:44,311 --> 01:15:45,528
Isabel!
1307
01:15:51,985 --> 01:15:53,487
Sir?
1308
01:15:53,862 --> 01:15:55,764
Help! Your Highness!
1309
01:15:55,864 --> 01:15:57,366
Courtney!
1310
01:15:57,532 --> 01:15:58,579
Thadeous!
1311
01:15:58,825 --> 01:16:00,560
Isabel!
1312
01:16:00,660 --> 01:16:03,334
Companions, where are you?
1313
01:16:05,832 --> 01:16:08,711
Courtney! Hello?
1314
01:16:08,877 --> 01:16:10,174
Thadeous!
1315
01:16:16,343 --> 01:16:17,435
Where are you, sire?
1316
01:17:10,188 --> 01:17:13,237
This is the Blade of Unicorn?
1317
01:17:13,400 --> 01:17:15,277
It's just bones.
1318
01:17:21,032 --> 01:17:23,080
You've found it.
1319
01:17:24,119 --> 01:17:25,871
Who said that?
1320
01:17:26,371 --> 01:17:31,298
'Tis I, the soul of this maze
and protector of the blade.
1321
01:17:31,460 --> 01:17:33,195
'Tis my duty to ensure
1322
01:17:33,295 --> 01:17:37,574
only a true hero carries the blade from this tomb.
1323
01:17:37,674 --> 01:17:38,825
Okay.
1324
01:17:38,925 --> 01:17:40,994
Say, for instance,
a man entered here
1325
01:17:41,094 --> 01:17:43,163
by accident who wasn't a true hero.
1326
01:17:43,263 --> 01:17:44,981
What would happen to him?
1327
01:17:45,098 --> 01:17:46,645
Death.
1328
01:17:47,267 --> 01:17:48,610
I see. Well,
1329
01:17:49,102 --> 01:17:50,649
I am no true hero.
1330
01:17:50,812 --> 01:17:55,158
So I would like to just place the
sword back where I found it,
1331
01:17:55,317 --> 01:17:58,617
and then I will go my way,
and you won't kill me,
1332
01:17:58,778 --> 01:18:00,496
and that will be that, okay?
1333
01:18:00,655 --> 01:18:01,907
Go?
1334
01:18:02,073 --> 01:18:04,496
Where would you like to go?
1335
01:18:08,246 --> 01:18:09,398
Is that...
1336
01:18:09,498 --> 01:18:11,250
Your home.
1337
01:18:11,416 --> 01:18:14,761
Okay, well, I would surely go there.
That would be fine.
1338
01:18:14,878 --> 01:18:17,531
Shall I just slide the sword back into the thingy,
1339
01:18:17,631 --> 01:18:19,741
or place it gently upon the ground?
1340
01:18:19,841 --> 01:18:21,889
And if I told you that your brother
1341
01:18:22,052 --> 01:18:24,788
will die without the help of this blade,
1342
01:18:24,888 --> 01:18:27,666
would you still walk through that door?
1343
01:18:27,766 --> 01:18:30,485
Without the blade, Fabious will
be helpless against Leezar.
1344
01:18:31,686 --> 01:18:34,256
Shut your magical hole.
Why are you showing me this?
1345
01:18:34,356 --> 01:18:36,984
it's what you wanted, is it not?
1346
01:18:37,359 --> 01:18:38,656
Your brother gone.
1347
01:18:38,777 --> 01:18:41,121
You'll be king of all the land.
1348
01:18:41,571 --> 01:18:43,790
Think of the power,
1349
01:18:43,949 --> 01:18:47,749
the women, the bush, the sticky-icky, the honeypots.
1350
01:18:47,911 --> 01:18:51,131
Well, it would be nice to be king.
1351
01:18:51,289 --> 01:18:55,339
And all you have to do is forget about the blade.
1352
01:18:55,502 --> 01:19:00,804
Leave it where you found it and
never think of this place again.
1353
01:19:03,301 --> 01:19:07,807
That's very sweet but I am not a female Minotaur.
1354
01:19:10,475 --> 01:19:12,398
His worm is tickling me.
1355
01:19:18,149 --> 01:19:19,526
Get off of me!
1356
01:19:20,527 --> 01:19:22,404
I'm not enjoying this!
1357
01:19:23,989 --> 01:19:25,332
Get off me.
1358
01:19:57,355 --> 01:19:59,357
Did you just see that?
1359
01:19:59,524 --> 01:20:02,198
I came back for you all!
I saved you!
1360
01:20:02,319 --> 01:20:03,866
What, you were going to leave us?
1361
01:20:04,487 --> 01:20:06,364
No, of course not.
1362
01:20:06,865 --> 01:20:08,892
Is that the...
1363
01:20:08,992 --> 01:20:10,414
Blade of Unicorn?
1364
01:20:10,744 --> 01:20:13,839
Yes, my companions, it is.
1365
01:20:13,997 --> 01:20:15,374
It's so beautiful.
1366
01:20:15,540 --> 01:20:18,214
it's very, very sharp.
1367
01:20:20,378 --> 01:20:22,426
Come here, you silly.
1368
01:20:25,091 --> 01:20:27,093
What are you doing?
1369
01:20:27,260 --> 01:20:31,891
I was just trying to cut this
horn as a souvenir of my kill,
1370
01:20:32,057 --> 01:20:33,980
but it's proving to be a bit of a bitch.
1371
01:20:35,226 --> 01:20:38,446
You can never sever the horn of a Minotaur.
1372
01:20:46,738 --> 01:20:48,139
Only a champion man
1373
01:20:48,239 --> 01:20:51,142
would hold the Blade of Unicorn in his hands.
1374
01:20:51,242 --> 01:20:54,462
And I, Thadeous, am that man.
1375
01:20:55,622 --> 01:20:57,607
I have seen the pain in my reflection
1376
01:20:57,707 --> 01:21:01,462
and watched the strength of my brother, unflinching.
1377
01:21:02,796 --> 01:21:04,764
My quest is one of love,
1378
01:21:04,923 --> 01:21:08,427
but also in this moment of forgiveness, of redemption,
1379
01:21:08,593 --> 01:21:10,891
even amongst the smallest of foes.
1380
01:21:18,937 --> 01:21:20,964
My path has been unstable
1381
01:21:21,064 --> 01:21:25,010
but my conviction is born to
damn the fuckers who doubted me.
1382
01:21:25,110 --> 01:21:27,488
To lessen the assholes who tested me.
1383
01:21:36,121 --> 01:21:38,294
To right what is wrong.
1384
01:21:39,124 --> 01:21:42,970
To restore faith that has long been lost.
1385
01:21:43,128 --> 01:21:46,072
And to rise to great heights even beyond my own legend
1386
01:21:46,172 --> 01:21:49,326
as a great cocksmith,
master pintsman,
1387
01:21:49,426 --> 01:21:54,182
and stunningly handsome prince of
light in these dark Dark Ages-
1388
01:21:56,474 --> 01:21:58,043
True trials await,
1389
01:21:58,143 --> 01:22:00,211
and I will greet thee with the hammer of my fist
1390
01:22:00,311 --> 01:22:03,110
and the slide of my sword.
1391
01:22:04,315 --> 01:22:07,469
As the fog clears, I will follow
the voice that guides me.
1392
01:22:07,569 --> 01:22:12,040
My love,
my heart, my gods.
1393
01:22:12,157 --> 01:22:13,975
The time is now!
1394
01:22:14,075 --> 01:22:16,419
Let us quest!
1395
01:22:17,620 --> 01:22:21,841
At long last, I have you firmly in my grasp.
1396
01:22:22,000 --> 01:22:24,503
The pesky Prince Fabious.
1397
01:22:24,669 --> 01:22:27,906
The little sneak who time and time again
1398
01:22:28,006 --> 01:22:29,929
has foiled every one of my plots.
1399
01:22:30,300 --> 01:22:32,974
Who has slain every one of my beasts.
1400
01:22:33,136 --> 01:22:36,185
Who has bested me without fail until now.
1401
01:22:36,347 --> 01:22:40,022
Do what you will to me.
But unhand my love.
1402
01:22:40,351 --> 01:22:42,399
Let Belladonna go!
1403
01:22:42,520 --> 01:22:44,238
Cast your glance heavenward
1404
01:22:44,355 --> 01:22:48,030
and know that when the ceiling
parts, and the moons align,
1405
01:22:48,276 --> 01:22:51,371
I will be entering your love.
1406
01:22:51,488 --> 01:22:53,536
Sacrilege!
You wretched wizard.
1407
01:22:53,698 --> 01:22:57,453
My mothers have already moistened
Belladonna for foreplay.
1408
01:22:57,619 --> 01:23:00,122
You'll excuse me if I take my leave.
1409
01:23:01,706 --> 01:23:03,208
I shall kill you!
1410
01:23:03,833 --> 01:23:06,611
Julie, Julie,
get me out of here.
1411
01:23:06,711 --> 01:23:08,613
Leezar has a hold of your mind.
1412
01:23:08,713 --> 01:23:10,636
He has allowed me to get even with you.
1413
01:23:11,216 --> 01:23:13,785
For too long you and your family
1414
01:23:13,885 --> 01:23:16,104
have treated me like an employee.
1415
01:23:16,638 --> 01:23:18,640
Yeah, you were my slave.
1416
01:23:19,265 --> 01:23:21,126
Yes, well not anymore.
1417
01:23:21,226 --> 01:23:23,378
Boremont, my comrade.
1418
01:23:23,478 --> 01:23:25,797
Please,
get me out of here.
1419
01:23:25,897 --> 01:23:30,468
If Leezar wins tonight,
the entire world will tumble into darkness.
1420
01:23:30,568 --> 01:23:33,071
My heart has soured on this world long ago.
1421
01:23:33,530 --> 01:23:36,124
Perhaps a regime change is just what it's needed.
1422
01:23:36,241 --> 01:23:39,916
Boremont, you gave your hand for me.
Now you're taking my heart.
1423
01:23:40,119 --> 01:23:42,542
We used to have fucking picnics together.
1424
01:23:42,705 --> 01:23:44,799
Remember when we crossed swords and touched tips?
1425
01:23:45,250 --> 01:23:46,342
Do you remember?
1426
01:23:46,543 --> 01:23:48,637
Look at me, Boremont!
1427
01:23:48,878 --> 01:23:50,346
Don't do this.
1428
01:23:50,839 --> 01:23:52,574
Anyway, so that you don't feel like
1429
01:23:52,674 --> 01:23:54,367
you're missing out on any of the fun,
1430
01:23:54,467 --> 01:23:57,721
let me introduce you to my friend, Timotay.
1431
01:23:58,137 --> 01:24:00,415
As Leezar enters Belladonna,
1432
01:24:00,515 --> 01:24:03,334
he will lower you onto that spike,
1433
01:24:03,434 --> 01:24:06,608
thereby giving you a good poking as well.
1434
01:24:07,188 --> 01:24:09,316
Belladonna, I love you!
1435
01:24:25,206 --> 01:24:26,628
All right.
1436
01:24:26,791 --> 01:24:30,195
Well, seeing that I did the bulk
of the work in the labyrinth,
1437
01:24:30,295 --> 01:24:33,072
perhaps it's one of your turns to lead the way now.
1438
01:24:33,172 --> 01:24:36,016
Step back, new friends.
I'll lead the way.
1439
01:24:36,175 --> 01:24:38,644
For tonight, evil has met its match.
1440
01:24:38,803 --> 01:24:42,649
Fantastic!
Thank you again for coming.
1441
01:24:51,941 --> 01:24:53,113
God.
1442
01:24:53,902 --> 01:24:55,804
Right out of the gate.
1443
01:24:55,904 --> 01:24:58,407
We should proceed with a bit more caution.
1444
01:24:58,573 --> 01:24:59,995
Let go of me!
1445
01:25:00,366 --> 01:25:03,836
You foul witches! I hate you all.
1446
01:25:03,995 --> 01:25:05,396
Stop laughing.
1447
01:25:05,496 --> 01:25:06,964
Silence!
1448
01:25:07,081 --> 01:25:08,674
Let me go!
1449
01:25:09,125 --> 01:25:12,737
I shall be unable to have sex
with her with all that shrieking.
1450
01:25:12,837 --> 01:25:15,448
If it's obedience that you want,
1451
01:25:15,548 --> 01:25:17,300
we will put her under a spell.
1452
01:25:18,635 --> 01:25:19,911
She will surrender.
1453
01:25:20,011 --> 01:25:21,638
Obey.
1454
01:25:30,521 --> 01:25:32,944
Let it begin.
1455
01:26:08,393 --> 01:26:10,587
The winch, Courtney.
1456
01:26:10,687 --> 01:26:12,234
Brother!
What are you doing here?
1457
01:26:12,772 --> 01:26:13,882
We came to rescue you.
1458
01:26:13,982 --> 01:26:15,049
You did?
1459
01:26:15,149 --> 01:26:16,617
Yes! Are you surprised?
1460
01:26:17,068 --> 01:26:18,052
Yes!
1461
01:26:18,152 --> 01:26:20,405
Courtney, you're still alive!
Isabel!
1462
01:26:21,823 --> 01:26:23,951
All right. Great.
1463
01:26:24,117 --> 01:26:26,290
We haven't much time!
Let's get weapons.
1464
01:26:26,452 --> 01:26:28,980
Fabious, there's something else I should tell you.
1465
01:26:29,080 --> 01:26:30,148
What?
1466
01:26:30,248 --> 01:26:32,467
I would never let your true love come to harm.
1467
01:26:33,251 --> 01:26:36,755
I present you with the Blade of Unicorn.
1468
01:26:37,422 --> 01:26:39,971
Brother, it is beautiful.
1469
01:26:40,883 --> 01:26:43,386
And Your Highness, please forgive my deception.
1470
01:26:43,553 --> 01:26:45,555
Our two quests now work as one.
1471
01:26:46,431 --> 01:26:47,853
Nice.
1472
01:26:48,016 --> 01:26:49,734
We're in this together, sir.
1473
01:26:50,226 --> 01:26:51,648
Yes.
1474
01:26:53,479 --> 01:26:54,605
Simon!
1475
01:26:59,986 --> 01:27:02,205
Now mine eyes have seen it all.
1476
01:27:02,363 --> 01:27:05,333
'Tis only a truce.
Courtney had him restored.
1477
01:27:05,491 --> 01:27:06,976
He manipulated me into friendship
1478
01:27:07,076 --> 01:27:08,999
by tugging at my heartstrings.
1479
01:27:11,080 --> 01:27:12,023
Right.
1480
01:27:12,123 --> 01:27:13,249
What's he saying?
1481
01:27:13,708 --> 01:27:16,569
It seems the way is more treacherous than I thought.
1482
01:27:16,669 --> 01:27:18,922
I cannot ask you to come with me.
1483
01:27:19,088 --> 01:27:22,033
I know you do not expect much from me, Fabious.
1484
01:27:22,133 --> 01:27:24,261
But I will stand with you on this night.
1485
01:27:24,552 --> 01:27:28,056
Is this the same brother that would not be my best man?
1486
01:27:28,723 --> 01:27:31,852
I did not deserve to be your best man.
1487
01:27:32,226 --> 01:27:34,274
You do now.
1488
01:27:38,024 --> 01:27:40,698
We can finish this whenever you maidens are ready.
1489
01:27:42,445 --> 01:27:43,867
Ready!
1490
01:28:27,907 --> 01:28:28,933
The time is nigh!
1491
01:28:29,033 --> 01:28:30,205
The moons are about to align.
1492
01:28:37,125 --> 01:28:38,843
Intruders!
1493
01:28:39,460 --> 01:28:42,509
Prepare to be fist-fucked by two brothers at once.
1494
01:28:45,967 --> 01:28:49,096
You're too late!
The fuckening has begun.
1495
01:28:49,262 --> 01:28:51,060
Get him!
1496
01:28:54,142 --> 01:28:55,234
You shit!
1497
01:28:55,351 --> 01:28:56,398
Kill them!
1498
01:29:31,053 --> 01:29:33,476
Why is she making these noises?
1499
01:29:44,692 --> 01:29:45,739
Courtney!
1500
01:29:55,828 --> 01:29:56,954
Boremont!
1501
01:29:58,539 --> 01:29:59,586
Bastard!
1502
01:30:02,835 --> 01:30:04,212
Thadeous!
1503
01:30:04,545 --> 01:30:06,092
I'm not Stiffening!
1504
01:30:06,255 --> 01:30:08,132
I'm just not attracted to you.
1505
01:30:08,299 --> 01:30:09,346
Fuck me!
1506
01:30:11,552 --> 01:30:12,678
Love me!
1507
01:30:24,732 --> 01:30:26,325
Adi�s, motherfucker!
1508
01:30:26,692 --> 01:30:27,818
Teamwork!
1509
01:30:58,808 --> 01:31:01,812
God, I never wanted it to end like this, old friend.
1510
01:31:02,186 --> 01:31:04,780
Master Fabious.
1511
01:31:04,939 --> 01:31:06,987
I loved you!
1512
01:31:08,651 --> 01:31:11,179
I loved you, too, Boremont.
1513
01:31:11,279 --> 01:31:12,847
As only a knight can love a knight.
1514
01:31:12,947 --> 01:31:14,039
No.
1515
01:31:15,074 --> 01:31:17,351
I loved you
1516
01:31:17,451 --> 01:31:20,955
as a man loves another man.
1517
01:31:41,225 --> 01:31:42,647
Jumping!
1518
01:32:17,636 --> 01:32:19,138
Quick! We must hurry!
1519
01:32:19,305 --> 01:32:22,149
What? No, no, don't suck that!
That's dead!
1520
01:32:43,037 --> 01:32:45,711
Next time you want to smash a bloodline of knights,
1521
01:32:45,873 --> 01:32:47,500
make sure you kill all of them!
1522
01:32:47,917 --> 01:32:49,089
We did!
1523
01:32:49,335 --> 01:32:51,713
You forgot about their sister.
1524
01:33:08,771 --> 01:33:10,523
Thadeous!
What are you doing here?
1525
01:33:10,689 --> 01:33:12,425
I'm trying to rescue you.
We must hurry!
1526
01:33:12,525 --> 01:33:14,778
Step away from my virgin.
1527
01:33:17,571 --> 01:33:19,198
She's my brother's virgin.
1528
01:33:19,532 --> 01:33:21,751
If you want to fuck her,
1529
01:33:21,909 --> 01:33:24,003
you'll have to fuck me first.
1530
01:33:27,665 --> 01:33:29,383
It would be my pleasure.
1531
01:33:31,460 --> 01:33:32,928
Stop!
1532
01:33:33,129 --> 01:33:34,506
It's over.
1533
01:33:34,672 --> 01:33:37,596
Take your last breath with nobility.
1534
01:33:39,468 --> 01:33:41,812
You fool.
1535
01:33:41,971 --> 01:33:45,271
I cannot be slain by mortal blade.
1536
01:33:45,433 --> 01:33:46,625
One must possess the powerful...
1537
01:33:46,725 --> 01:33:47,942
I know.
1538
01:33:48,686 --> 01:33:50,233
Blade of Unicorn.
1539
01:33:51,522 --> 01:33:52,944
It's not possible.
1540
01:34:42,781 --> 01:34:44,203
My love.
1541
01:34:55,920 --> 01:34:57,405
Think I'm beginning to like the feel
1542
01:34:57,505 --> 01:35:00,725
of blood and filth upon these fingers.
1543
01:35:00,883 --> 01:35:02,760
Perhaps I will never bathe again.
1544
01:35:04,220 --> 01:35:05,996
Unless, of course,
there were a bitch
1545
01:35:06,096 --> 01:35:08,064
brave enough to bathe beside me.
1546
01:35:08,307 --> 01:35:09,875
You fought with honor.
1547
01:35:09,975 --> 01:35:13,003
Why don't you treat yourself
and take rest at our castle?
1548
01:35:13,103 --> 01:35:17,108
We've all the slaves, pickles and
servants one could ever desire.
1549
01:35:17,608 --> 01:35:19,427
We have dancing bears, Orientals
1550
01:35:19,527 --> 01:35:21,529
and all the berries you care to pick.
1551
01:35:22,238 --> 01:35:24,890
I wish I could, but I never rest.
1552
01:35:24,990 --> 01:35:28,144
There's yet another quest that
calls me to the Western Marshes.
1553
01:35:28,244 --> 01:35:29,520
I must surprise a band of thieves
1554
01:35:29,620 --> 01:35:33,124
and burn them alive one by one in a symphony of shrieks.
1555
01:35:34,416 --> 01:35:36,944
I will not forget you, Prince.
1556
01:35:37,044 --> 01:35:38,762
Nor will I.
1557
01:35:43,968 --> 01:35:46,687
Here. To remember me. Oh.
1558
01:35:47,096 --> 01:35:49,645
I don't want that thing touching me.
1559
01:35:49,974 --> 01:35:51,542
Say hello.
1560
01:35:51,642 --> 01:35:52,643
No.
1561
01:35:52,810 --> 01:35:54,211
I fucking killed this dick. Take it.
1562
01:35:54,311 --> 01:35:55,483
No, it's yours.
1563
01:35:55,771 --> 01:35:58,365
I cannot accept another warrior's trophy.
1564
01:35:58,607 --> 01:35:59,842
Courtney, take my dick.
1565
01:35:59,942 --> 01:36:01,319
With pleasure, sir.
1566
01:36:01,777 --> 01:36:03,324
Till we meet again.
1567
01:36:21,797 --> 01:36:23,299
Is thou all right, Brother?
1568
01:36:46,739 --> 01:36:48,491
I love you.
1569
01:36:49,283 --> 01:36:51,001
I love you, too,
1570
01:37:02,421 --> 01:37:04,219
They're cheering for you.
1571
01:37:04,340 --> 01:37:06,013
They're cheering for all of us.
1572
01:37:06,383 --> 01:37:08,010
Even for me?
1573
01:37:08,427 --> 01:37:10,429
Especially you, Brother.
1574
01:37:31,158 --> 01:37:33,160
I'm proud of you, son.
1575
01:37:33,410 --> 01:37:35,396
You saved the entire land.
1576
01:37:35,496 --> 01:37:37,248
Not a bad run for a first quest.
1577
01:37:37,414 --> 01:37:40,192
Well, I would be remiss to say I did it alone.
1578
01:37:40,292 --> 01:37:42,260
Fabious did help where he could.
1579
01:37:43,420 --> 01:37:44,888
I'm sure.
1580
01:37:57,393 --> 01:38:00,067
Finally. Alone.
1581
01:38:07,319 --> 01:38:11,699
Hello, there.
Cock-a-doodle-do.
1582
01:38:13,367 --> 01:38:14,476
Brother?
1583
01:38:14,576 --> 01:38:15,894
Yes?
1584
01:38:15,994 --> 01:38:17,396
Am I interrupting something?
1585
01:38:17,496 --> 01:38:19,648
Nothing, I was preparing for bedtime
1586
01:38:19,748 --> 01:38:22,401
and just looking at the oils that Father gave me.
1587
01:38:22,501 --> 01:38:24,924
I know what you're doing!
1588
01:38:25,087 --> 01:38:26,213
No, you don't.
1589
01:38:27,798 --> 01:38:30,347
Well, seeing you by yourself at
the wedding didn't seem right.
1590
01:38:30,509 --> 01:38:33,308
So, I've brought you someone.
1591
01:38:33,595 --> 01:38:35,623
Someone I know you've been missing...
Isabel?
1592
01:38:35,723 --> 01:38:37,851
...and who's been missing you.
1593
01:38:38,016 --> 01:38:40,269
I brought you Steven!
1594
01:38:42,271 --> 01:38:44,524
I went on a mini-quest and I found him for you.
1595
01:38:45,315 --> 01:38:48,159
Well, that was
1596
01:38:49,862 --> 01:38:52,081
very nice of you,
Fabious. Thank you.
1597
01:38:52,239 --> 01:38:54,662
I had so much fun on our adventure together.
1598
01:38:54,825 --> 01:38:58,125
Yes, I know.
You have told me 15 fucking times now.
1599
01:39:01,749 --> 01:39:04,234
Well, I'm off to sleep with Belladonna.
1600
01:39:04,334 --> 01:39:05,402
I'm a little nervous.
1601
01:39:05,502 --> 01:39:06,570
Don't be.
1602
01:39:06,670 --> 01:39:09,531
Just swing your cock with the same
strength you swing your sword,
1603
01:39:09,631 --> 01:39:11,508
and I'm sure all will be fine.
1604
01:39:12,676 --> 01:39:15,304
All right.
Sweet dreams, Brother.
1605
01:39:15,929 --> 01:39:17,931
Sweet dreams.
1606
01:39:19,016 --> 01:39:20,643
Steven.
1607
01:39:21,226 --> 01:39:25,756
Well, I'm going to put you in the
corner now while I strum my filthies.
1608
01:39:25,856 --> 01:39:27,858
Come, come, Steven.
1609
01:39:29,818 --> 01:39:31,820
Here we go.
1610
01:39:34,740 --> 01:39:36,141
Isabel.
1611
01:39:36,241 --> 01:39:39,895
I was able to wrap things up in
the west quicker than I expected.
1612
01:39:39,995 --> 01:39:42,043
I've not been able to stop thinking of you.
1613
01:39:42,372 --> 01:39:45,876
What a coincidence.
I was just about to finish thinking of you.
1614
01:39:53,884 --> 01:39:56,704
Wait.
Before we go any further,
1615
01:39:56,804 --> 01:39:58,122
there's something I have to show you.
1616
01:39:58,222 --> 01:40:00,190
What?
1617
01:40:00,808 --> 01:40:02,376
What the hell is that?
1618
01:40:02,476 --> 01:40:03,898
It's a Chastity belt
1619
01:40:04,019 --> 01:40:06,797
put upon me by an evil witch long ago.
1620
01:40:06,897 --> 01:40:09,241
She now roams the snow mountains of Shahmir.
1621
01:40:09,983 --> 01:40:11,385
If I can defeat her,
1622
01:40:11,485 --> 01:40:14,238
the curse will be broken,
the belt will fall free.
1623
01:40:14,905 --> 01:40:16,140
So in order for us to make love,
1624
01:40:16,240 --> 01:40:20,102
we have to track down an evil and,
I'm assuming, dangerous witch?
1625
01:40:20,202 --> 01:40:21,704
Exactly.
1626
01:40:26,583 --> 01:40:28,694
We would have to do this right now?
1627
01:40:28,794 --> 01:40:30,320
If you don't want to join me,
1628
01:40:30,420 --> 01:40:32,514
I could just take care of it myself.
1629
01:40:33,173 --> 01:40:36,201
No, of course I want to come.
We just got home.
1630
01:40:36,301 --> 01:40:37,619
I was hoping to have a few hours
1631
01:40:37,719 --> 01:40:39,747
of just doing nothing,
perhaps just relaxing.
1632
01:40:39,847 --> 01:40:42,145
Let's just stay here and snuggle.
1633
01:40:44,309 --> 01:40:47,734
No, fuck it.
Let's kill that bitch.
116019
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