Original subtitles

Hi, it's me ginger.

Now I understand that in vice academy part two

you want more sexuality than you did in part one.

Which of course I have no problem with.

New in town?

You could say that.

So you had much luck so far?

I've seen better.

So what's your price?

50 bucks, if it's any of your business.

You know any other good corners

around here for girls like us?

You know you ask a lot of questions.

What's your story?

Nothing, I'm just a girl trying to pay her rent.

You should be able to understand that.

I mean we are all sisters in this.

Come in, any officers

in the vicinity to honk and whore park.

Backups are needed to apprehend a suspect on foot.

Come in any officers in the vicinity to honk and whore park.

Backups are needed to apprehend a suspect on foot.

What the hell is that?

What, I didn't hear anything.

Come in, do you read me?

Well it's coming from your purse.

This is Holly, I'll be right there.

You set me up.

You know, I thought you were a sister.

Honey I'm not even your cousin.

I been waiting for this massage for a long time, baby.

And I'm sure you'll remember it for a long time too.

Ooh.

Feel good?

Yeah, hey let's say I just roll over onto my back

here and we get down to business.

I paid double at the door, darling.

Come in, do you read me?

Officers in the vicinity to honk and whore park come in.

What the hell is that?

I don't have time to explain, just read yourself

the bill of rights until 1 get back.

Cop, huh?

Well what the hell, if you're gonna bust me anyway,

what's say with go on ahead and get naked.

What do you think?

Well you are kind of cute but I don't have time.

What's your name?

John, John riggers.

My friends, my lady friends, you know

they just call me long John.

I'm didi, ask for my number at the station

and call me after you post bail, okay?

Didi and hey,

just be careful out there.

Hey were are you going?

Vice, am I the first one here?

It looks like it, he's inside.

Okay.

Vice cop.

Go right in.

Freeze!

Didi, what are you doing here?

I received an urgent police call.

Yeah, well I can handle this one by myself.

Why don't you go back to your other so called case?

No, why don't you?

You know you're really making a fool out of yourself.

Everyone knows the only reason the academy

let you graduate is because out of pity.

Out of what!

You heard me.

What is that?

Would you two keep it down?

Oh great, another one.

Stay clear, just let me get a shot at him.

No way, this is my arrest.

Says you.

Just get out of my way.

J huh

j got a pistol in my pocket

j and baby you can cock it

j put your finger on the trigger

j feel it getting bigger

j move a little closer

j let me dig it in your holster

j shoot my bullet

j I got a pistol in my pocket

j and baby you can cock it

j it's got a twelve inch bang

j and you can make it ring

j blow me away just give it to me right

j you better do it

j shoot my bullet

j when you roll up in Levi's

j you can feel my Colt, yeah, .45

j got a pistol in my pocket

j and baby you can cock it

j get fresh from undercover but don't you hit the buzzer

j looking for a put away, blow my intentions, let's do it

j bite my bullet

j well you better stop stripping

j or you're gonna get a pistol whippin

Now let me get this straight,

which one of you got in the way first?

It was her fault.

The hell it was.

It was both their faults.

I've never seen such unprofessional ethics before.

Calm down now, it's their first assignment

since they graduated from the academy.

They're still new at this.

Mm-hmm.

And you wouldn't want to make me look bad would you?

Oh no, no, no, of course not Ms. Devonshire.

There's always a place for your girls on the force.

The question is, we need to find something

a little more suited for their talents.

Thank you, sir.

We were so close, you know I could have had a clear

shot at him if it wasn't for these two.

Please.

And they injured me too.

You know it's a good thing I didn't file for workman's comp.

You're right, you better see a specialist about that.

That I will, sir.

Excuse me.

Mm-hmm.

Ms. Devonshire, I want you to go into my office.

There's a file on my desk, it will have the starting

positions for your girls here.

You can brief 'em on it and then

I'll see you later on at the introductory meeting.

Good day.

Good day, sir.

Bye.

32, 32.

Breaker one nine for that big daddy trucker.

You out there?

Is that you little Jeannie?

The one and only.

Now listen real closely, I'll be faking

my next orgasm just for you.

22, 34.

That's a big 10-4.

Petrolino, what can I do for you?

Well I had a little accident on the job

and I was wondering if you'd help me work it out.

For you, anything.

Ooh.

How does that feel?

That's a start.

Thank you girls, in your first five minutes here

you've already managed to humiliate me completely.

We've been here more than five minutes.

Shut up, your positions on the force

have already been decided for you so get used to them.

You will be working together as a team.

What, that's impossible.

I am not working with her.

There is one other assignment available

if you decide not to work together as a team.

I'll take it.

It involves detailed undercover work.

I'll do it.

Extensive research.

I want it.

The assignment is going undercover as a prison inmate.

She can have it.

Wait a minute, my father would never

let me go undercover in a prison.

Is that so?

Whew, that's a lot off my mind.

When your father's the chief

of police it does have it's advantages.

So didi I hope that second assignment

won't be a problem for you.

That's not fair.

Well Holly, as a matter of fact,

your father left me a note concerning your career.

Would you like me to read it?

Go right ahead.

Dear Ms. Devonshire, now that my daughter

is working on the force, she is on her own.

No more special treatment from me, you go right ahead

and give her any assignment that seems fit.

I stand behind your decisions 100%.

You want to tell me about some of those advantages?

Shut up, didi.

Well what'll be, girls?

Teamwork.

Teamwork.

What's that, I can't hear you?

Teamwork.

Very good, and remember, if either of you fail

at working as a team, you will automatically

be given the second assignment, got that?

- Yeah. - Yes.

Now follow me, [I'll show you where you'll be working here.

Excuse me, where's your water cooler?

Right down that hall.

Thank you very much, madame.

My pleasure.

Give us a clue, what kind of work are we going to get?

Riding around in a patrol car?

Maybe a supervisory position

with others working below us.

No something a little more suitable.

Whoops.

That's not the first time that's ever happened.

Now you realize that resisting

an officer is a criminal offense.

Don't I know it.

Well thank you very much for that information.

Sure no problem.

Excuse me.

Jeannie, this is didi and Holly.

They'll be assisting you with the switchboard.

Hi, nice to meet ya.

The switchboard, you gotta be kidding me?

The switchboard, any problem with that?

No.

No.

Good, I'll be back later after you three get acquainted.

I'll be working on my speech.

Commissioner and fellow officers of the law,

may I present the two graduates who have made my life hell.

No wait, that's not it.

So Jeannie, I guess you're gonna

show us how the switchboard works.

Huh?

Oh yeah, sure.

See police calls come in on this station and I dispatch

officers out to wherever they're calling from.

I see.

Help me,

there's a man outside my window.

Well if he's cute get his number for me.

That gets boring really fast.

If you really want to have some fun,

here's a frequency that all the truckers use.

What about that woman?

If it's important she'll call back.

15, 39, 15.

Little Jeannie, you still out there?

This is daddy trucker calling.

That's for me.

This is little Jeannie again.

I've got two new friends with me, you want to meet them?

Honey does a bear shit in the woods?

Jeannie, what about the police call?

Shh, I want to introduce you.

I get a lot of dates this way.

Now think of two handles that you

guys can use for for your name.

Like what?

Oh they're still here.

I want you to meet begging for more

and getting it all night long.

That's disgusting.

Well come on, say hello.

Hello.

Which one are you?

Begging for more.

Ooh-wee.

Come on, it's your turn.

No thank you.

What happened to your friend?

She's a little shy.

Sounds like just my type.

I don't think so.

What's that?

Oh it's a police call coming in.

I better switch back.

You still out there, big daddy trucker?

Now don't forget to make a pit

stop next time you're in town, I'll be waiting.

Maybe I'll bring some of my buddies

along for your friends and we can party.

Sounds good to me, also don't forget to bring...

Jeannie, the police call.

Oh.

10-4.

Police station, how may I serve you?

Yes, please don't put me on hold again.

There's shooting going on, out in front of where I live.

Please send an officer out.

Ma'am, are you sure it's just not a car backfiring?

I'm pretty sure.

All of my front windows have been blown out.

Can you please send someone out now?

Okay, all right, all right.

Tell me where you live.

I'm at the corner

of cowanga and lancerscot.

Okay, if I send someone out, will you promise

not to call me back, how's that?

Oh yes, thank you.

Oh hold on a minute.

So, after she finishes taking care of me and my friends.

She says, "I'm getting tired."

I didn't care, I passed her around

the room like a dirty magazine.

You know what I'm saying?

Oh my.

Anyway, Jeannie, we were just talking about you.

Really, well I hope it was something nice.

Oh I got a call for you, cowanga and lancerscon,

some woman thinks there's shooting going on.

Why don't you go check it out?

Sure thing.

Hey, don't forget our date later tonight right.

How could I, big night stick?

Excuse me.

Jeannie, how well do you know petrolino?

How well do I know him?

Honey, he's the one that makes

all the promotions around here.

You're joking, right?

Yeah, you're not serious.

Dead serious.

Honey, if you ever expect to move

up the ladder in this place,

that's the hiney you better start kissing up to.

Goodbye, Jeannie.

Bye.

Oh, would you get that for me?

Hello, it's a free clinic?

No, I think you have the wrong number.

There's nobody here named Bambi Jo creamshe.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that's for me, that's for me.

It's just a little name I use down there.

It's today, really?

Well I'll be right down.

I've got to run, the two of you can

handle things around here, can't you?

Well I don't know.

Well good, it puts my mind at ease.

Oh by the way, the clinics running

a two for one special today.

Either one of you want to join me?

It'd be my treat.

Thanks anyway.

No, okay.

Bye now.

Shit.

Come in, do you read me?

Come in.

Listen, a call's coming in.

This is big night stick, do you read me?

Big night stick, it sounds like one of Jeannie's friends.

Don't real police calls ever come in here?

I'm gonna talk to him.

That figures.

We hear ya, big night stick.

Jeannie, is that you?

Listen I'm in my car right now.

I've just been met by an unexpected visitor, I need backups.

Yeah right.

This isn't Jeannie, this is begging for more.

Whoever this is, I need backups.

What is that, I can't hear him over all that noise.

I don't know, I think he said he needs a backrub.

Why don't you talk to him?

No.

Go on, have a little fun.

Big night stick, here's my friend getting it all night long.

Can you hear me?

I don't know how much longer I can hold out.

Sounds like a party, go on and flirt with him a little.

I'd rather not.

Well if you think you can't do it.

Hey big night stick, this is getting it all night long.

Why don't you hold out and save it for me big boy.

Here's your backup.

Big night stick, where's your party at?

Give me the scoop and we'll join your group.

Treat me right and we can party all night.

Let's drink a little potion and start a commotion.

You're pretty good at this.

It's just like my old job.

Yeah, what you do before?

Phone sex.

Hey everybody out there within a 30 mile radius, listen up.

This is begging for more, there's a party at my place

at 625 Clinton way, if I'm not home when you get there,

the keys right under the mat.

How did a bunch of hookers get ahold to our frequency?

I don't know, sir.

Well you, pet.

Petrolino, what happened?

Who was working the switchboard today?

I think Jeannie is.

No it's not, whoever it is almost got me killed.

Yoo-hoo big night stick, are you still out there.

Get a listen to this.

Here's my mating call.

What do you two think you're doing?

Commissioner.

I knew it had to be them.

But, we were just doing what Jeannie taught us.

And who were you just speaking to?

No one important, just some guy named big night stick.

Sounded like he was having a party.

Yeah, and what a dweeb.

Girls, you were talking over the police radio.

And I'd like you to meet, big night stick, sorry.

What, that's you?

I was right in the middle of gunfire

and these two are screwing around.

They're trying to get me killed.

This is a police station, not a dating service.

Sir, it's their first day, I'm sure

it was just an innocent mistake.

No, no, that's it, I want these two fired.

And you know my feelings about having women on the force.

What's that about women on the force?

They're not good for nothing.

That's anything, and you're wrong.

I want 'em out of here.

Hey, I'm warning you, it's either me or them.

Commissioner, the ceremony's starting.

They're waiting for you.

I'll be right there, petrolino, come on.

Come along, girls.

Take it easy, slime bucket.

Excuse me.

No damage done.

How did it go, did anyone spot you?

Nope, and everything's in place.

Ah, perfect.

I hope they're ready for their first taste of Spanish fly.

Mmm.

Oh good, our first victim.

Excuse me.

Yello, welcome to our assembly.

May I present Ms. Devonshire.

Now she's here to introduce two of the finest

vice academy students who are about

to become new additions to our force, Ms. Devonshire.

Thank you commissioner and fellow officers of the law.

Ooh is it getting warm in here?

Oh commissioner, fellow officers,

oh may I present the two graduates

Who made my life, oh is it hot in here or what?

Oh, does anybody want to dance?

Oh yes, oh it's so warm.

Oooh, ooooh.

Ms Devonshire, Ms. Devonshire, Ms. Devonshire,

perhaps I can finish your speech for you all right.

Oh dip me, dip me.

Dip you.

What's the matter with her?

I don't know, go get her some more water.

Yeah.

Oh.

Here.

That's good, that's good.

Hand me the walkie-talkie.

Come on.

Oh come on.

Attention fools, attention fools.

You've just had your first demonstration of my power.

I've tainted the water in your cooler

with my very special formula.

This is your first taste of Spanish fly.

And in heavier doses it can destroy an entire population.

And if I don't get

in the next 48 hours, oh I'm gonna have to contaminate

the whole water supply in the country.

I'll call you later with my plan

of where I want my money delivered.

Heed my warning, fools.

Come on, burn rubber.

This is an outrage.

Oh she's beyond reasoning.

In the past I thought all her

warnings were just idle threats.

Imagine contaminating the water

supply in the police station.

Is there no justice?

She's right, she's right.

Go over there and make sure nobody uses that water cooler

until there's a full investigation.

Yes, sir.

It's rumored that Spanish fly's headquarters

are hidden within the vicearama, the sleaziest,

seediest, and vilest nightclub in town.

That place isn't so bad, they have good

drink specials at happy hour.

Shut up!

Commissioner, I want you to make an exception

and let these girls get jobs there.

If anyone can go undercover in that

sleaze pit, it's these two.

If that is Spanish fly's hideout,

she's got a big surprise coming.

Anything you say, Ms. Devonshire.

We'll get right on it.

You can count on us.

You must have a lot of faith in those two girls

to give them such an important assignment.

Yes, I think the world of them.

Thank you.

I really like your suit.

This old thing?

Come on, I'll drive.

Can I trust you?

Sure.

You still listen to 8-track tapes?

No, I have a cd player.

I just keep those on the dash so nobody'll steal my radio.

Wait 'til you hear my sound system.

Oh come on, it wasn't that loud.

What!

Can I help you two?

Yes, we're here to apply for the job opening.

Oh I see, come in, meet me

in my back office in a few minutes.

We got the interview, come on

the place should be cooking already.

What?

Hey, we're dressing in here.

I need this room, hurry up.

And close the door, people can look in here.

It's nothing they're not gonna see in a couple of minutes.

Hey, fuck you.

Hey, ah.

I don't like this place already.

I feel like all the men here

are undressing me with their eyes.

It's just your imagination, try to look like you fit in.

What are you trying to...

Coming through.

What, are you trying to say it doesn't

look like I can fool these people?

No, it's just you're always so uptight.

Is that so?

I can't find my wallet.

Didi.

You know this is illegal.

Have a seat.

I hope you girls realize that

there's only one position available.

Good, may the best one win.

Remember, working as a team.

What makes you feel that you're qualified for this job?

My morals are low and so is my IQ.

And what about you?

I'll do anything to get this job.

So will I.

Are you two sure you know what we're looking for?

No, but whatever it is, I'll do it.

I was born doing it.

Listen girls, I think there's been

some kind of mistake here.

What do you mean?

The job that's available is for a bookkeeper.

Neither one of you two are qualified.

A bookkeeper?

This was all your fault.

My fault, what about your vulgar display?

What you did was low.

I wanted to be that bookkeeper.

You mean out of the two of you,

neither one was able to get the job?

We tried.

This is unbelievable.

Do you realize how bad you're making me look?

What am I supposed to tell the commissioner now?

It wasn't my fault.

I didn't know the job was for a bookkeeper.

I was just trying to act cheap like didi.

That's enough.

I hope you realize that petrolino has already

put in a request to have the two of you taken off the force.

And with both of you out of here, I'll lose my job also.

Taken off the force, taken off

the force, taken off the force.

That's right, we're gonna break out of here tonight.

And if you aren't with us, we're gonna shoot you.

Both of you out of here, both of you out of here.

Both of you out of here.

I'd like you to meet your new celimate.

She's cute.

I lose my job also,

lose my job also, I lose my job also.

That's enough.

Now, you little monsters are gonna

play pin the tail on the donkey

whether you like it or not.

Now begin.

Oh, either the two of you start working

together as a team or suffer the consequences.

Well I'll see you later for our date.

Sure thing, babe.

Hey listen, I'll get you off the switchboard

and have you a better job before you know it.

You're so sweet.

Oh I know.

I just remembered, I have a very important appointment.

Oh, me too, likewise.

Hi there.

What the hell do you want?

I wanted to apologize for my previous behavior.

Took me a while to come to my senses.

Yeah, so what are you trying to say?

Well I finally realized what a hunk

of man you are and I'd be foolish

not to take a sample of that grade-a beef.

I see, so you got anything in mind?

You tell me when and where.

Hmm, I think I can squeeze you in

tonight about eight o'clock.

How does that sound?

I'll be there with bells on.

Great, look up my address in the white pages.

I deliver.

Officer petrolino, where have you been hiding yourself?

Got any plans for dinner tonight?

Didi, right on time.

Hi.

I guess you don't like to keep your studs waiting.

What a lovely table setting, I'm impressed.

Oh thank you.

What's for dinner?

Well see it's a special one of a kind dish.

I call it beef petrolino.

What are the ingredients?

You're looking at 'em.

Where's your bathroom?

Oh it's right inside.

Excuse me.

Sure.

Hey, I got a surprise for you.

Really?

How'd you like to wear this and make me happy?

I'd love to.

Great, my bedroom's right in there.

Why don't you change and I'll meet you in a minute?

I can hardly wait.

Hello you lucky girl you,

I can't take your call right now.

Leave me your name and number so I can make your day.

Hi, this is Jeannie,

I just wanted to tell you what

a great time I just had with you.

I'm really sorry that I had to run off.

I would have loved to have spent the whole night.

Oh by the way, I left my underwear with you by mistake.

You can't miss it, it's the green sparkly ones.

They're probably still warm.

They are still warm.

Eww yuck!

I'll just get it back from you next time.

Just remember that they're mine, bye now.

I can't stay.

What's the matter?

I'm going to the hospital to have a severe conniption fit.

What a pity.

Hi.

Oh Holly, well you're the early bird.

Well I wanted to get it over with.

I mean, wild horses couldn't keep me away.

So, you made dinner.

No, it didn't turn out right.

Are you looking for something?

Well I did have something I wanted you to wear

but I don't see where it went.

That's okay I brought my own.

Do you like it?

Oh yeah.

Listen I think I'ma go freshen up.

Oh wait, I have a special present for you.

Really, that's sweet.

Here, your own personal toothbrush.

Wow, thanks.

I'll be right back.

11 years in private school,

two years at the police academy and now this.

If my father could only see me now.

Great.

I bet you thought about me the whole time you were gone.

That I did.

Please let it be over quick, please let

me be able to imagine that I'm with someone else.

Please don't let him leave the lights on.

Did you say something?

No.

Ooh, ooh.

Hello you lucky girl you, I can't take your call right now.

I'm sorry, I'll just be a minute.

Take your time.

Hello.

Shaunie, yeah long time no see.

Yeah, sure I got time for you.

What are you doing in about an hour?

Yeah, oh no, no, no, I'm not doing anything important.

Actually I can hardly wait to have

your hot mouth on my body again.

Yeah, yeah, I'll see you in a little while.

Oh and I'll have your special toothbrush waiting for you.

Yeah, bye.

Hey, where you going?

I have never seen so much colossal

nerve before in my entire life.

How could you make a date with her

when I was still in bed with you?

Yeah but you get the benefit of her making me horny.

Ugh!

Yuck!

Hey wait, come back.

You haven't even tried my hot tub yet.

Hi y'all.

Hi.

I heard about the three ways

you two had with petrolino last night.

What?

I thought it sounded pretty raunchy to me.

Where did you hear this?

Well in the men's locker room.

The men's locker room, huh?

How did you get in there?

Oh I just throw my hair up in a baseball cap

and wrap a towel around me and no one even knows I'm there.

Listen that story is 100% fiction.

Yeah, and I saw Elvis at the mall.

This is ridiculous, how can you even listen to that shit?

Well all the other officers seem to believe it too.

What?

I can't believe you had the nerve to go to his apartment.

Oh, what's the difference?

It didn't work for either one of us.

Well I didn't let him touch me, what about you?

Oh get serious, if you didn't did you think I would?

Shush.

First we went around the world,

then I was the meat in their sandwich.

The things you see when you don't have a camera.

Yeah man, that didi and Holly,

I never seen two babes more happy with my body, my life.

That does it.

Hey, this is the men's locker room.

Shut up.

Hey what are you doing in here?

Ha, big night stick, more like cocktail weenie.

Hey you know what, I never hit

a woman before in my life but I'm...

Go on, come on I dare you.

Slap me senseless, punch my lights out.

Hey, I'm warning you.

Go on I dare you, if you're man enough.

The map is completed, every major water supply

in the United States has been marked.

And if they don't give us the 20 million dollars

that we've asked for, we're ready

to show them we mean business.

20 million bucks is a lot of money.

Yeah, I can hardly wait to get my cut.

Your cut, girls you make 400 bucks a week at the club.

If I have to share this money with you,

I can't pay you your regular salaries.

You wouldn't want to miss out on

your guaranteed 400 bucks a week, would you?

Well, no.

Me neither.

Good, hand me the telephone.

Thank you.

Now be quiet, I don't want them

to know our location, okay?

Good.

Devonshire here.

All right Devonshire, this is Spanish fly, got that?

Spanish fly, I'm ready to give you my list of demands

and I expect every one of them to be followed.

And remember, you know who this is

but you don't know where I'm calling from.

Hey got that, you don't know where I'm calling from.

This is the operator,

I have an emergency phone call for Spanish fly

at 555-3599, it's from your mother.

Do you wish to release the line?

No, I don't wish to release the line!

That was Spanish fly, I've just got

the phone number she was calling from.

We can run a make on it and get her exact location now.

Good, good, good, 'cause we're running out of time.

Now that we know her whereabouts,

I'm sure my girls can stop her.

You know, Ms. Devonshire,

I've been meaning to talk to you about those two.

Well what about them?

Well I'm afraid they're just not up to vice squad par.

This case is too important to me for any more mistakes.

Besides I've been wanting to try out

this new secret weapon I've been working on.

In fact, I'm revealing it at the unveiling

ceremony in just 10 minutes.

Now I expect to see you there, officer.

Get out of my way.

Oh!

I'm sure that you all understand the urgency

which this meeting has been called.

Spanish fly has proceeded with her plans and up

until now there's nothing we've been able to do about it.

We can make no more mistakes on our part.

We need a new vice cop on the force.

One who's fool proof, one who won't make any more screw ups.

And now the final solution.

May I present the future of vice enforcement.

Half woman, half machine, all trash.

I'd like you to meet,

bimbocop.

Ooh.

You can't be serious, this robot

isn't gonna replace my girls on the vice force.

Oh no, she'll not only replace 'em,

she'll do a much better job too.

Myron, myron, where are you, come out here.

Myron, oh.

And who is this?

This is myron, he is the creator of bimbocop.

And when did you build this robot,

between watching cartoons?

No, actually I built her

while I was watching music videos.

I don't like it already and I won't stand for it.

I agree completely, this sets women back 100 years.

Oh no, no, no, give it a chance, give it a chance.

Myron, demonstration.

Yes, but can she speak?

You're not deaf, don't be dumb.

Whoa.

I like her.

She looks a lot like you, didi,

they must've made her out of cheap metal.

Oh I forgot to mention, the robot is very good

at detecting who its enemies are.

Tell us more.

Well, the access code box sets her mood.

You can choose the setting you want.

I can put her on access code casual

if you'd like to have a conversation with her.

Or access code vengeful, and she'll find her enemies.

Of course there's always access code rampage,

but I can't show you that one in here

no, no, of corse not.

Myron remind me to give your school

a special donation for all this fine work.

In fact, Ms. Devonshire, write out a check

for $100 now, huh.

But sir, the robot has over $10,000 in parts alone.

Not to mention the medical bills

after my accident with the welding.

Ah what the hey, make it a 150.

This doesn't prove anything.

I'd like to see a demonstration of the robot at work.

Well certainly, I'll just change

her to access code work mode.

What job would you like to see her do?

I don't know, what do you suggest, myron?

Would you like to see her find and destroy her enemies?

Oh yeah.

No, not that.

Let her do something easy.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

I'll tell you what, let's put her on the switchboard.

Why any dumbo can do that job.

She could do that easily.

Hey, wait a minute.

Come on.

A call's coming in, what happens now?

I'll just start her up.

Police station, how may I serve you?

Yes I know where that is, I'll send someone out right away.

Would you like to hold on the line until they get there?

Yes, thank you.

Attention, there's been a breaking and entering reported

at the corner of effie ad Rowena.

Officers 211 and 214 please report at once, thank you.

Isn't that amazing?

Yeah, real keen.

I have another call, could you

please hold for just a minute?

Thank you.

Hello, police station, how may I serve you?

Jeannie, it's daddy trucker.

I'll put him on for you.

No wait.

Just take a message for me.

Hey, little Jeannie,

I've got the party line waiting.

I've got my pants off already.

Have I got a little present for you.

And I also have a message for you from your gynecologist.

He wants to remind you of your appointment tomorrow.

He says he thinks he has a new cream

to try on that rash of yours.

Jeannie, I'd like a word with you, right now.

Fired, me fired?

How could you?

Now, now, now, now, don't think of it as fired Jeannie,

think of it as replaced.

Replaced, by that bucket of bolts?

You haven't heard the last of this yet.

Fired, me fired.

That damn robot got me fired.

You know, I work hard for my paycheck

and I give my landlord a piece of that.

And now I'm gonna be sitting on my ass

all month long, just what is he gonna get a piece of now?

All right, all right out.

Ooh.

I want to make our move on vicearama tonight.

Now first, first we'll call in the vice officers,

and then we'll bring in bimbocop.

Oh Spanish fly will never know what hit her.

I want everyone in tip top shape.

Come on, men.

Commissioner, call for you on line one.

Hello, hello?

Hello, hello, hello?

So take my job on the force,

well we'll just see about that.

There now, let's just see how much value you have

while you're set to access code worthless.

There, I feel much better.

Okay, we have an hour to get into the club

and find Spanish fly's hideout before bimbocop gets here.

Are you ready to go inside?

Let's just do it.

And try to let me do the talking this time.

Don't start with me again, didi.

Yeah, what do you want?

We're here to get to work.

Oh yeah, none of the women that

work here look as cheap as you two.

Wait a minute, I remember you two.

You don't work here, beat it.

I told you to let me do the talking.

But I...

Are you two still here?

I think you misunderstood, what she meant to say is

we're here to get to work delivering a stripping telegram.

Oh, well that's different, come on in.

Thank you.

The things a girl's gotta do to make a living.

Check this place out.

Where do you think her hideout could be?

And now, a special treat.

Tonight only, two new broads are gonna do

a special strip tease just for you guys.

What do we do now?

I'm not backing out of this one.

I don't know about you but I'm prepared

to go all the way if necessary.

Ha, you probably don't even know how to shake your pelvis.

Two grasshoppers, two beers, and a Singapore sling.

What the hell is this?

Yeah I thought our show was next.

In a minute.

We can do a lot better than those two.

I'll say.

Yeah, well you got to admit,

they dance pretty good for cops.

More, more!

More more!

More!

Take it off!

Let me through.

Get out of my way.

Young man, put your eyes back in your head.

Girls get off that stage.

Ugh!

Honestly, can't you two ever keep your clothes on?

Well the whole thing was didi's idea.

Ms. Devonshire, what are you doing here?

Who do you think got the job as a bookkeeper, you idiots?

Welly, well, well, look what we have here.

Not two cops but three.

You're making a big mistake, I'm a bookkeeper.

And I was just telling these girls how much

I was disgusted by their show.

Yeah, and we really are strippers.

Save it, we got a metal detector at the door.

It went ape shit when you two walked through it.

You're packing enough hardware, you got to be cops.

No, you've got it all wrong.

It's just our cheap, our cheap jewelry, that set it off.

Aphrodisia, felatia, get me their purses.

Go ahead, look inside it.

Just as I thought.

All right, get going.

Looks like you three won't be anymore trouble tonight.

Yeah and I can dance better than you

with both feet tied behind my back.

And might I just add that you look

flattering with these ropes around you.

When you work in a place like this,

it's women like you that really turn me on.

Shoot me if you must, but for

god's sake keep your hands off me.

Well looks like somebody else is packing some hardware.

Check it out, girls.

You got it.

Can we help you?

Yeah, I'm looking for some babes here tonight.

You two look like you can satisfy me

for about the first hour or so.

Oh really?

Yeah, then you can send in the second shift.

After you two catch your breath,

maybe ['ll let you come back for seconds.

Oh lucky us.

I can hardly wait to get my hands on you.

Me either.

Girls, girls, come on, there's plenty

of me to go around right.

Hey, yeah.

I just can't help myself.

Oh let me at him.

Hey take it easy girls, huh.

Don't move, asshole.

How did you know I had a gun?

I took one look at you the minute you came in.

No one can be that happy to see us.

Come on, let's go.

Oh great.

Yeah and we're gonna tie this one up the back.

And if he's anything like he says he is,

Spanish fly is gonna want this one for herself.

Okay, now get undressed.

So look at what we have here.

Ooh Devonshire, so we meet face to face.

So what have you got to say now, hmm, huh?

It's not over yet, Spanish fly.

Ha, big words from a small mind.

We've got another one for you

in the playroom, Spanish fly.

Yeah, and I think you'll like this one.

Oh good, it'll give me something to do later.

Yes, I have plans for you three right now.

Horace, bring me my special formula.

Yes, boss.

Oh, here it is, Spanish fly in it's pure undiluted form.

One dose is fatal, it'll kill you through your own libido.

Yes, I do think I'm ready to see it work.

Who wants to die from ecstasy?

How about you, girlie?

No thanks, maybe later.

Oh shut up, just get

ready for your taste of Spanish fly.

It's been nice knowing you, didi.

Oh, it should be over any minute now.

Somebody got a cigarette?

It didn't work, that's impossible.

Can I have some more please, I'm coming off it fast.

You made a big mistake picking her, Spanish fly.

Her sex drive is so high that

your drug has no effect on her.

Now we'll see when I increase the dosage.

What is that?

Sounds like a hardware store.

All right Spanish fly, get ready to meet your maker.

What is Frederick's of Hollywood here?

What is that?

Meet bimbocop, the newest addition to our force.

Go ahead Spanish fly, it's your move.

Jesus, is that thing dangerous?

Sorry I'm late, I was going to come in the front

but I wanted to be less conspicuous.

What's wrong with her?

I'm here to get to work,

don't you still have a job here for me?

Wait a minute, I think I said that backwards.

I know on second thought, why don't I just

leave and come back in a second time.

So Devonshire, this is what you've threatened me with?

She has you fooled.

Do you think you could come over here and sit down?

There you go, there you go, please sit down.

Oh there we go, comfy, yes?

To think my hard earned tax paying dollars

went to build this pile of junk.

Spanish fly, don't forget what's

waiting for you in the playroom.

Yeah and his badge says his codename is big night stick.

Oh thank you.

Well I'll just see if he can live up to his name.

Oh fuck, will you get back to work.

Look this group isn't going anywhere, come on, Jesus.

So, what have we got here?

I feel naked without my badge.

Oh baby, my girls really do have

good taste, they know what I like.

What are you doing?

Stop that.

Oh honey even you should be able to figure that one out.

Oh come on, I can't wait any longer, get it up, come on.

I can't wait any longer, come on, get it up.

Big night stick, boy it looks

more like a little cocktail weenie to me.

I don't understand it, this afternoon that robot

was in perfect working condition.

Now it's acting just like you two.

What would make it so worthless all of a sudden?

Look, someone's altered her control belt.

She's right, it's been set on worthless.

What?

Let me see if I can fix it.

Attagirl, bimbocop.

Get 'em.

So then the guy says, "no, the drink is for my duck."

Oh it's only that lame robot.

Dammit, what happened?

I don't know but that robot's sure upset about something.

What's the joke?

Here's the joke, get ready for a big bust.

What are you waiting for?

Got get 'em.

Come on, get it up!

Spanish fly, run, the jig is up.

She's right behind us.

Oh, don't hurt me, don't hurt me.

Come on, you're blocking my radar.

I want you to tell your friends about me.

When will you insects ever learn that crime doesn't pay.

Hey, somebody help me, let me go.

Good, I'm glad you two are here.

Unchain me, all right?

What have we here?

It looks like a Turkey all stretched out.

It's not funny.

Poor petrolino, all tied up in a room with two babes

who can't get enough of his hot body.

The things you see when you don't have a camera.

Hey come on, just get me down okay.

If we let you go are you gonna take back

your request to have us fired?

What?

You know I think I do have a camera in my purse.

Really.

All right, all right, all right,

I'll take back my request.

So now do you think that women

can be as good a cop as men?

Yes, just get me down off of this, all right?

Ah.

Wait 'til the guys at work hear about this one.

Whoa, whoa, ah!

Girls, today I can stand proud.

Spanish fly is behind bars, the request to get

you fired has been lifted, and we're about

to be honored at an awards ceremony.

I wonder how long this can last?

Ms. Devonshire, how much time before the ceremony starts?

About 15 minutes, why?

I'll be right back.

Me too.

First she tied up petrolino so he was helpless,

then he couldn't get it up and she

was really getting upset with him.

Really?

Oh yeah, and you should've seen what she looked like.

Come on get to the good part.

Well after he disappointed her, Holly and I

had to come in and let him go.

And you should've seen him, sniveling like a baby.

Petrolino, there goes your reputation now.

Yeah right.

Are you busy, sir?

Hmm, oh no, no, not at all, not at all,

come right in, what can I do for you hol?

Well, since I was the one who was most responsible

for capturing Spanish fly, I was just wondering if there

was some sort of an award being given at today's ceremony.

You know as a matter of fact there is.

I'm gonna be honoring the best

new addition to the force, hmm.

Good, I just hope that you're fully aware

of my contribution to the case.

I mean getting an award like this

would make me look very good in my father's eyes.

Oh I'm sure, I'm sure it would.

But you know actually Holly, you're not

the one I was thinking of giving that award to dear.

What?

Well from what I understand bimbocop

was the one that did most of the work.

Now, bimbocop should be the one

that gets credit for capturing Spanish fly.

That robot, you can't be serious.

I can't?

Well sure I can.

Well try and reconsider.

When bimbocop showed up at the club

she was the easiest one to capture.

Oh now, now, now, that was merely a clever rouse, dear.

Uh, if you'll excuse me, it's time for that ceremony.

Come on, you don't want to miss it.

Yeah right.

Your advisor.

Bimbocop, this is gonna hurt you

a lot more than it's gonna hurt me.

All set, see you at the awards.

Testing, test, testing one, two, three.

Now, welcome and greetings to our assembly.

I'm sure you all know by now that Spanish fly

and her cohorts were successfully captured last night.

Now may I present to you, the one most responsible

for bringing in Spanish fly.

Let's all give a round of applause

to the finest new cop on the force, bimbocop.

I want to thank you all for your applause.

Capturing Spanish fly was my first mission

and I'm proud it went so well.

But most of all I want to say this.

She's gone.

It's all right, sir.

Well, will I ever find another

woman who can fill her shoes?

Well now that that's over with, why don't we

get on with the awards ceremony.

Surely there must be another officer

who's worthy of the award.

I mean there were several of us on the case.

I suppose you're right, Holly.

I was the one that got us into the club so easily.

Actually I did that one.

Girls, not now.

And I was the one that took charge

during the interview when we went there to get jobs.

Yeah but we didn't get those jobs.

Stop nitpicking, didi, it's clear

to see who deserves the award.

Myron, what are you doing back there?

The access control box, I think someone sabotaged her.

You're sure?

Why don't we worry about this later?

No, no, no, no, no, there's some dirty work

afoot, I want to know about it.

Just as I thought, someone's tampered with her box.

Hey, it wasn't me.

Don't worry, the robot had a built in memory.

It'll show us the last person to sabotage her.

Well, didi I suppose you earned this.

Come on, come on.

Thank you sir, but I would like

to share the honor of this award

with my partner, who's efforts should not go unrewarded.

Because if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be here right now.

Let's hear it for bimbocop.

Thank you everyone.

Well, Ms. Devonshire, I hope that you're proud

that one of your former students received that award.

Yes, I suppose didi is the one who deserved it the most.

Mm-hmm.

By the way, what happened to the water cooler?

John, it's didi, I'l be home in 10 minutes,

and I hope you're thirsty.

And my last cell mate, she wasn't

as pretty as you.

That's why I had to strangle her.

Of course it wasn't my fault, she kept telling me no.

Excuse me.

Guard, I think there's been a mistake!

10 P.M., lights out, ladies!