Original subtitles

- You're late, you think I got nothing better

to do than sit around and wait all night?

Hey, sorry, Snake,

I just wanna make sure I wasn't followed.

Shut up, let me see the stuff.

- Right, I see where you're coming from.

Check this out.

- Top grade, I can make a killin' on this.

How much more can you get me?

As much as you want, babe.

I got a new source, unlimited.

Don't call me babe,

I told you about that before, I hate it.

Gotcha, no problem.

I remember you telling me that before.

What the hell is that?

Are you sure you weren't followed?

I'm positive.

I'll take care of this.

All right, what do you want?

I'm lookin' to party.

- Yeah, well there's no party here

so why don't you just beat it.

- Well, that's too bad, maybe we could start our own.

- Hey, get her to shut that thing off, will ya?

You wanna wake up the whole neighborhood?

Hey, baby, would you mind

finishing your aerobics elsewhere?

We're trying to conduct a little business here.

What kinda business, big boy?

- None of your business.

So why don't you just move on.

I said I was lookin' to party.

- Yeah, well it looks like you got an early start on it.

Why don't you just get back in your car

and take that portable disco with you.

Listen, I got money with me.

So if you just tell me where I can find the party,

I'll be on my way.

She's got money.

What the hell?

- Shut up, what kinda money you talkin' about?

- I ain't talkin' about change for the parking meter.

Yeah, there's a party here,

we just sorta forgot to buy the streamers.

- Screw the streamers, show me what you got.

- Ooh, I knew you could help me out.

- Yeah, I just might let you party with me.

There's just one little thing.

What's that, sweetness?

- You're busted, get your hands up now!

You gotta be kidding.

♪ Huh

♪ Got a pistol in my pocket

♪ And baby, you can cock it

♪ Put your finger on the trigger

♪ Feel it getting bigger

♪ Move a little closer

♪ Let me stick it in your holster

♪ Let's do it

♪ Shoot my bullet

♪ Got a pistol in my pocket

♪ And baby, you can cock it

♪ It's got a 12 inch length

♪ And you can make it plank

♪ Blow me away, just give it a yank

♪ Let's do it

♪ Shoot my bullet

♪ When you roll up in my Levi's

♪ You can feel my Colt, yeah, 45

♪ Got a pistol in my pocket.

♪ And baby, you can cock it

♪ It's straight from undercover

♪ But don't show it mother

♪ Looking for a sexy way

♪ To blow my ammunition

♪ Let's do it

♪ Bite my bullet

♪ Well, you better start strippin'

♪ Or you're gonna get in the way of love

Hurry!

Good morning, students.

- Good morning, Miss Devonshire.

- I see we're all here bright and early today.

Let me just take our roll call and,

yes, Holly.

- I'd like to say that the drug bust,

which I took on single-handedly last night,

went off without any flaws.

- But we've never studied their set-up and operation.

We don't even know who their main supplier is.

- Well, since my father is the chief of police,

he did give me all the inside information

that he had uncovered.

He thought that maybe if I had the case all to myself

I could pick up some extra credit in the class.

- I've warned you about this before, Holly.

What if something had gone wrong

and your life would have been in danger?

- Daddy had every surrounding block manned by patrol cars,

if I had let out one little scream

the entire area would have been crawling

with black and whites in seconds.

- Sounds like an expensive operation

to catch one drug dealer.

- You know, that's what Daddy said,

but after I talked it over with him,

he didn't seem to mind.

- Hm, I'll remember that next time

I need to ask him for any expenditures.

Oh, and I do have a full copy

of the report from last night.

Watch where you're going!

- Why don't you say it a little louder,

I'm sure there's a few people here

that didn't notice we came in late.

You're late.

See what I mean.

I don't suppose any of you

have excuses for your tardiness.

Class started without us?

I've heard that one before.

And you?

No comment.

You three are going to need

to show more interest in this class.

Showing up late is hardly any way

of going about getting your place on the force.

- Don't most vice arrests take place at night?

How is getting up early in the morning gonna do any good

when all the low-life in this city is asleep?

Not all the low-life.

Vice is a 24-hour a day job.

While you were sleeping last night,

Holly managed to pull off an arrest all on her own.

That brings her arrest quota

to the highest of anyone in the classroom.

- Big deal, if I had an entire police force

at my beck and call,

I'd have the highest arrest quota also.

Dream on.

Just shut up already.

- Girls, please, we have other things at hand today.

Now you all realize that graduation

is just a few weeks away.

And each of you must make 1 O arrests in order

to get a position on the force.

My father says that my badge

and uniform are already waiting for me.

Well, that's fine for you,

but let's see what everyone else can do

before graduation day comes around.

Now, would anyone like to tell us

where we left off in our last lecture?

Yes, Dwayne?

- We were about to watch some X-rated videos

so we could study the craft in which they're made.

No, I'm sorry, that's not it.

We were about to study how to disarm an assailant.

Close enough.

- Shawnee, Dwayne, would you come up here, please?

Now, Dwayne, you be the assailant.

Take this gun and act threatening.

Your money or your life.

- Now, what would you do in your defense?

No, no, no, that's hard,

hardly the way to do it.

I'll show you the proper method

and put your clothes back on!

Man has several pressure points on his body.

One of these being the groin.

A kick to this area will easily make him

release his grip on any object.

Any questions?

- Yes, do you think that each of us could try that?

- Certainly, line up, all of you.

You can each have a chance to practice.

Very good, next.

No, not quite, go to the end of the line and try again.

We'll do this all clay until each of you gets it right.

Very good.

Yes, keep the line moving.

Good, excellent, very good, very good.

No, try again, very good, that's right.

Excellent, knees up, good.

Very good!

Miss Devonshire.

Yes, sir?

- I was wondering if you could spare a moment

of my daughter's time.

I need her to make a positive identification

of the dealer she arrested last night.

- Certainly, line them up, Daddy.

Scum.

. Pig-

Bitch.

You're gonna pay.

- You ruined our operation, I oughta ring your neck!

Which one is it, Daddy?

The two on the left.

- Maybe I just need a closer look.

Those are the guys, right there.

Daddy, you let them get away!

After all my hard work!

- Don't you worry, pumpkin, we'll find them.

- Honestly, does she really think

we're ever gonna chase anybody over one of these things?

- Faster, stop holding up the line!

- This is even stupider than the last one.

- Really, it works for me.

- All right, Dwayne, one more stunt like that

and we'll try the disarm the assailant trick again.

How does that sound to you?

No, thanks.

- Remember, always make your opponent submit.

And begin!

Very good, next.

And begin.

Dwayne, at least make it look convincing.

Much better, next!

And begin.

- Really, I wish Miss Devonshire would have given me

a partner who was somewhat of a challenge.

Look, isn't that your father?

Where?

- Now, after you fire the warning shot,

the actual shot you fire next is the one that counts.

I prefer to aim for between the eyes.

Really?

Yes, really.

Now, Shawnee, you have six shots here.

Let's see if you can make them count.

And try and keep your clothes on.

Sorry.

Go on, keep trying.

Keep trying, you'll eventually hit a target.

Sorry, Mister.

- I wonder if she got him between the eyes.

- Go on, you only have one shot left.

One out of six, at least it's better than last time.

And now, let's continue our studies

with something much safer.

Ooh!

Miss Devonshire, I didn't know

you sold makeup in your spare time.

- Hey, I could use some new nail polish.

Silence, you imbeciles!

I'm not selling this makeup,

this is a demonstration of what you may need

when you go undercover.

- Really, I never seem to find a use for it.

- Frequently you may have to pose

as prostitutes when undercover.

I'm going to show you how they wear their makeup

so that you can learn.

Didi, Shawnee, come up here, please.

- Miss Devonshire, wouldn't it be more beneficial to us

if you tried it on girls

who weren't so cheap looking to begin with?

- No, Holly, that will be enough.

Now remember, time is everything.

No pimp is going to wait an hour

for his whore to put on her face.

Didi, I want you to take this stopwatch and time me.

Now, watch carefully, here I go.

21 seconds!

- Now, let's see what she looks like.

Ooh!

- Now, Shawnee, let's see if you've learned anything.

Let's see what you can do for Didi

in the same amount of time.

And begin.

19 seconds, a new record.

Well, let's see what you've done.

Didi, it's you.

And, class dismissed.

- This just goes to prove something

I've suspected for some time.

What's that?

- Only a witch could put on make-up this quickly.

- You know, you two really surprise me.

What do you mean?

- I thought that I was the only one in class

who took the time to go out undercover every night.

I had no idea that we shared the same interests.

- Holly, you might be going out undercover,

but we're just going out to have some fun.

I should have known.

Isn't there anything in life that's important to you?

Do you just wanna have fun all the time?

Give it a rest, school's out.

- No, you just name one important cause

you have ever fought for!

- We once petitioned for the legalization

and the decriminalization of a, nevermind!

Forget I asked.

You're right, Holly,

we're gonna give that some serious thought

and when we think of what we can do,

you'll be the first to know.

- Well, I'm glad that you see it my way.

I do.

I don't understand it, Daddy.

I have been out here for over three hours

and no one has even come up to me.

- Keep at it, pumpkin, we'll get 'em.

- Honey, we are going out tonight.

Yes!

You look really good.

Did you say something?

No.

Hey, are you all right?

What happened to you?

Leave me alone!

Let us help you.

How can you help me?

We're cops.

Are you sure you're cops?

- Well, sometimes we're not even sure ourselves.

- We're still in the academy but we can help you.

Just tell us what happened to you.

My name is Cherry Pop,

I ran away from home when I was 15

and became one of the highest paid porno queens.

- With a name like Cherry Pop, no wonder.

No, that's not my real name.

I recently tried to get out of the porno business,

I released my own exercise video.

"Boning Up with Cherry Pop."

But the people I made the pornos for didn't like it,

they said stop making these tapes.

Who did this to you?

Was it one of the actors?

No, not the actors,

the director hired someone to do this to me.

And now I'll never work again!

- Why don't you just come down to the station with us

and file a statement

and testify to put these people away.

- No, I'm afraid of them, I can't testify!

They'll come after me, they'll kill me!

No, no!

Wait, we wanna help you!

I hate to admit it,

but Holly might be right about something for once.

What do you mean?

We have to grow up already.

We can't just waste away the rest of our lives.

Yes, girls?

- We're going undercover to investigate

phony roller derby matches.

- Well, I hope those weeks of practice come in handy.

- And we're gonna try and shut down a Mexican donkey show.

There goes my weekend.

- Miss Devonshire, we heard about a porno operation

that hires underage girls.

We'd like to take a crack at it.

Girls, be serious.

No, we mean it.

I know the location of the company

and the people in charge there.

Very well then,

I'll give you some equipment you can use for your cover.

All right!

What's that?

It's your cover.

I'll just type your name on this phony resume

and you'll be all set.

There, just stick a picture of yourself on the back.

Thank you, Miss Devonshire.

- And remember, in order to make an arrest,

you need to obtain solid evidence.

You need to catch everyone in the act.

Yes, I understand.

- There is one other thing you can use.

It looks like a whore's purse.

But look inside.

It is a whore's purse.

No, no no, look at this.

It looks like a lipstick.

- It may look like a lipstick but watch.

Simulated gun fire, now, watch this.

Wow!

What's that?

It's a portable radio,

but combined with these earrings,

it's also a receiver and transmitter.

You can talk into this earring for help

and listen from this one.

Your backup agent can wear the headphones

and come to your aid.

These are very expensive devices, just be careful.

Any questions?

- Does it come in any other colors?

This is the place.

- Thanks for coming along, Dwayne.

Yeah.

Well, how do I look?

Oh!

That good, huh?

Remember, this case is important to me.

I'm not just doing it for our quota.

Hey, don't worry,

with this transmitter we can hear everything that goes on.

Good luck.

God.

Here.

Oh, 9:30.

9:30.

Can I help you?

- Word's out on the street you're looking for a new actress.

- Great, get on your back and let's see what we can do.

- Hey, listen, any work I do is considered a day's paycheck.

So unless you're willing to start me on payroll right now,

you just better keep your clothes on.

You're a pro, aren't ya?

- I'm not just off the bus from Omaha.

- Listen, I was just kidding about the first part.

Really?

- This is great, all we need is some solid evidence now.

- Do you think she should have gone on the couch with him?

Shh!

I brought my resume with me,

it'll show you what I do best.

Quite impressive.

- Well, I like what I do and I do it well.

- Is there anything you wouldn't consider doing in a film?

- Well, I don't do any animal acts.

Really?

It says here that you've done quite a few in your picture

"if I Could Talk to the Animals."

Looks like you made it with half the zoo.

- Uh, well, that was one of my earlier films.

Animal acts!

Who gave her that resume?

- Miss Devonshire gave it to her.

- I think she should've read it first.

Uh, I also don't do any S&M.

Are you sure?

According to this you enjoy it,

you've done everything imaginable in your picture,

"Beat Me in St. Louie."

- That was a long time ago, I, uh,

I'm looking for a new image now.

- Are you sure you want to do a picture like ours,

I mean it's only straight sex.

Sounds fine to me.

Wow, who's that?

What about your fans,

what if they don't like your new image?

Chucky, just in time.

Yeah, time for what?

- I'd like you to meet the actress

who's auditioning lead opposite of you in our next film.

Chucky Long, meet Didi Fluffer.

Hello.

- Didi might be replacing the actress

that you usually work with.

- Um, what happened to the other actress?

- Oh, we had to get rid of her because she turned 19.

I never thought she passed 18.

- Hey, Chucky, since you're here,

why don't you read a scene with Didi.

Yeah, how 'bout it?

- I don't know, I've got a full schedule today.

I've got an appointment at my tanning salon

and then there's my facial.

Why don't you make time?

♪ Well, if you only live in it

♪ Everybody else will too

♪ Set on out to this mark

- This thing's only 12 pages long.

- Our films aren't about dialogue, you should know that.

Oh, yeah, right.

- All right, why don't you go ahead

and start reading from the scene on page three.

- Baby, it's been a long, hard day

and I'm looking for some relief.

- It looks like you came to the right place.

- Some things were just meant to be.

♪ For as long as I need

♪ Come and purify the disease

Brilliant, you got the part!

- Oh, great, I'll do it for free.

What did you say?

I said we'll discuss my fee.

9:45.

- Yeah, and I gotta get out of here,

unless you want me to change my stage name to Lily White.

Ooh, 9245.

I'll see you on your back.

- Congratulations, you got the part.

I love this job.

I wish I knew what slut this resume belonged to.

- So would I, I'd like to meet her.

No.

- If you like it now, you're gonna love it later.

If you like it now, you're gonna love it later.

If you like it now, you're gonna.

How you doing?

Um, I'm a little nervous,

it's been a while since I've done one of these.

There's too many people in here,

I think I'm gonna go in the next room

and read a few lines by myself.

Where did she go?

She said she was nervous.

She had to go in the next room and do a few lines.

Understandable.

- If you like it now, you're gonna love it later.

If you like it now, you're gonna love it later.

If you like it now, you're gonna love it later.

If you like it now, you're gonna love it later.

If you like it now, you're gonna love it later.

If you like it now, you're gonna love it later.

- I found a book that covers all their illegal operations.

- Good, see if you can lift it without anyone noticing.

No, he might look there.

- They're waiting for you on the set.

Right.

Noon.

- Don't we have enough evidence to take them yet?

- No, not yet, we have to catch everyone in the act.

- Is it, if you like it now, you're gonna love it later.

Or is it, if you like it now, you're gonna love it-

- Didi, I want you to meet Desiree, our director.

Pleased to meet you.

- Likewise, and you probably never worked

for a woman director before.

I think it might be a little different

than what you're used to.

Sex films used to be about women

on their knees in a peep show booth.

Well, things aren't like that anymore.

My films have a story,

all the women in my films play powerful characters

that choose their sex partners.

You understand?

Yes.

Good, now take your places.

Oh, and Chucky.

Yeah?

In the scene,

I'd like you to degrade her as much as possible.

Okay, everybody, places!

- I wish we could make our move already.

- You wanna hear the latest tape from Severe Tire Damage?

Severe Tire Damage?

They're my favorite group, put it on.

Turn it up.

Woo!

- Okay, you two know what to do, right?

Yeah, we got it.

- "Chafed Raw", scene one, take one.

Action.

Who is it?

- I'm a horny stud, open up and let me in.

I wanna rape you until you're split in two.

No, no cut!

Didi, you're supposed to be frightened of him.

You're not supposed to so goddamn anxious

you rip the door off the hinges.

Sorry.

- Take it from where you left off.

- "Chafed Raw", scene one, take two.

Action.

I said action, Didi, didn't you hear me?

- Yeah, I just wanted to make sure everybody else did, too.

- I forgot something my doctor told me to do.

Her doctor?

Hey, you never told me she had any medical problems.

- She never told me anything either.

- Uh, no, no, it's about my back.

My doctor said that I should just stay off my feet.

I mean on my feet!

- Didi, are you having some sort of trouble today?

- She'll be all right, won't you?

- I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille.

- Take it from where you left off.

- You shouldn't open the door to strangers.

I'm gonna have to teach you a lesson.

I wish he'd degrade her more.

- I heard from one of our sources that some vice ring

might try to crack down on our operation.

You think it might be somebody in here?

Do you think it might be one of the crew members?

- We've worked with this crew before, we can trust them.

What about the new actress?

Are you kidding?

Wait a minute!

We forgot about Didi.

I think we're a little late.

A little late?

All right, cut.

- Freeze, you're under arrest!

Sorry we're late.

- You lied to us, you never had sex with any zoo animals.

Of course not, you fool.

- I'm appalled at the way you betrayed me.

You're no sister.

Desiree, as a director,

you have a lot to learn about a woman's needs.

A vice cop?

I feel used and violated.

Shut up, Chucky.

- Yeah, well I faked my orgasm for you.

- Shut up, I might be able to grant you full immunity.

All right, everybody outside.

Come on!

You're coming with me.

- Didi, there's something I've got to ask you.

Sure, what is it?

Was it good?

Huh, the best!

Oops, I forgot something.

- Come on, put your hands up, come on.

Put your hands up.

- What are we doing at your place?

You'll see.

- Well, what're you gonna do to me now?

Time to get back to work!

All right, scene two, take one!

- You've got to be kidding.

- Ooh, oh, Chucky, scene one, take two, take three!

Wait, I need some rest.

Scene two, take one!

Scene five, six, seven!

Oh, scene two, three, four!

Oh, okay.

Oh.

After today I bet we're finally gonna get

the kind of respect we deserve around here.

- Oh, don't look now, but here comes Holly.

- Good, she can be the first to hear.

Holly, you know you're not supposed to come to school

in the clothes your boyfriend makes you dress up in.

For your information, Didi,

while you were sleeping in this morning,

I was busy breaking up a high school narcotics operation.

Is that so?

How many arrests did you make?

Four.

- Ha, while you were busting freshmen,

we made twice as many arrests cracking a porno operation.

A porno operation?

How did you hear about that?

I have my sources, too.

Really, what sources?

You'll find out,

just watch and see who's going to be teacher's pet today.

In fact, here she comes now.

- Miss Devonshire, would you like to hear

about the arrests that I made this morning?

I got two high school seniors for dealing drugs

and another two for writing obscenities

on the bathroom wall.

Later, Holly.

Didi, I got a report this morning.

It had something on it that was so unbelievable

I had to hear it from you myself.

What is it?

- You infiltrated that porno ring yesterday, didn't you?

Yes.

- Well, here's what I'm having trouble with.

It says that before you made the arrest,

you had sex with a male lead in front of the entire crew.

Now is that true?

Well, yeah.

How could you be so stupid,

don't you realize we can't put these people away

until we get a conviction?

How is your testimony going look in court

when it comes out that you performed a sex act

before you made the arrest?

Well, I don't know.

It's worthless,

you might as well let these people go right now.

No jury is going to convict them based on your testimony.

Miss Devonshire, I don't think

you can blame Didi entirely for this,

we're also to blame.

- Yeah, we were late making arrests.

She had the choice between blowing her cover or blowing-

Shawnee, that will be enough!

You three are a disgrace to the entire academy.

Go on, Didi, tell us

how you were going to be teacher's pet today.

Shut up, Holly.

No, go on,

I only had to do a few cheers for my cover,

what did you have to do?

You're right, Holly,

I should have left the case for you,

you make a much better whore than anyone in class.

Ooh!

Girls, break it up!

This is against academy rules.

Watch out for the tires!

Girls, girls, break it up!

Cheap trash!

Spoiled brat!

That will be enough!

Didi, Shawnee, Dwayne, I have a special assignment for you.

You three realize that since you can't get

a conviction on this case,

I can't count it against your quota of 1 O arrests.

- That's not fair, we made the arrests.

- But since tomorrow is graduation,

I'll give you one last chance to make your quota.

But you have to do it completely by the book.

There is a prostitution ring working the inner city.

If you crack it, make the arrests, and close them down,

you will be allowed to graduate tomorrow with the others,

that's the deal.

You have 18 hours, good luck.

- Miss Devonshire, I couldn't help overhearing,

my father's been working on the inner city ring

for quite some time now.

It's one of the Queen Bee's operations,

every time he sends an officer out on the job,

they never come back.

He's lost five already.

Yes, I know.

- I better let that group in the porno movie go.

We can't keep them here any longer.

Excuse me.

Yes?

Well, speak up.

I heard on the street

that you arrested some people making a porno movie.

- It's true, I was just about to let them go.

Because of a technicality though,

we can't get a conviction against them.

That won't be necessary,

I'm willing to testify against them.

This book will back up everything

I have to say against them.

I don't know how we're gonna

pull this thing off in time.

Graduation's tomorrow morning!

- Don't worry, we have all night.

Look, there's one now.

Let's get to it.

- Remember, you gotta get her to say a price

before you can arrest her.

Right.

Watch this.

Hi, there, what's your name?

Hi, my name's Tinsel.

That's a pretty name.

Oh, thank you.

I just happened to notice

you were standing here all by yourself

and I thought maybe you could use some company.

- Oh, that's generous of you, I like that type.

Why don't you give me an idea

on how generous I need to be.

Well, why don't you tell me.

I asked you first.

Hi, how ya doing?

He's doing fine and I'm busy,

so why don't you find your own block.

- Listen, whatever she's charging you,

I'll do the same and throw in a continental breakfast.

What?

Continental breakfast?

- That's right, I'll make it all by myself.

- Hey, look, what are you lookin' for tonight,

a good time or short order cook?

- What comes with this breakfast?

- Eggs, muffins, and fresh squeezed juice.

Oh, this is ridiculous.

- I'll make 'em any way you like 'em,

hard-boiled, scrambled, or over-easy.

Hey, look, honey,

I'm sorry your waitress job laid you off,

but this is my block.

- Enterprise is the American way.

Which one of us?

- All right, I'll throw in a dozen donuts.

Mm, glazed?

- Huh, whatever she's charging you,

I'll do it for 10 dollars less.

- Why now that's hitting below the belt.

Well, how much are you?

Well, I'm usually 40 bucks,

but I'll make an exception and do it for 30.

What do you think of that?

Okay, we're vice cops.

You're under arrest.

What?

- I don't know how to cook any of those things either.

- Oh, you stinkin' piece of trash, you tricked me.

You'll never get away with it.

Save it for the judge.

How'd it go?

- Beautiful, we did everything by the book.

- Hey, you're just wasting your time.

I'll be back out on the streets

before you even get a chance to get around the block.

- By the time you get out you'll be too old to do phone sex.

- You watch what you're saying, you-

Get in there!

- Hey, look, there's another one.

- Let's see how fast we can bust this one.

- You working tonight or just watching the stars?

- The only time I watch the stars is when I'm on my back.

That's a good position.

- Watch out, Sparkle, it's a trap.

Hey, keep it to yourself.

- You ready to go gaze at some stars?

I couldn't help overhearing,

I have a telescope at my place.

Why don't you come home with me instead.

What the hell is this?

I've never seen you here before.

- That's because when you're good,

you don't spend much time out on the streets.

- Yeah, well, you don't know who you're talkin' to.

- What'll it be, I'd love to see the Big Dipper tonight.

- Well, what kind of telescope do you have?

Hey, screw this.

Hey, I'm $40, do you want it or not?

Yeah, I want it.

You're under arrest!

Hey, you tricked me.

Honey, you must be good

because you're not gonna be spending much time out

on the street either.

Uh, no!

Ow, ow, hey, ow, ow!

Oh, Tinsel, they got you, too?

Oh.

Join the party.

Nice.

Cheap floozies.

They're like scum.

Two-bit con artists.

Shut up back there!

Oh!

- This is easier than I thought it would be.

What we need to do is

to start picking them up in quantity.

How do we do that?

- Well, this one at a time stuffs all right,

but I'm sure there's a whole group of people

somewhere all in one place.

All we need to do is find them and make one big arrest.

- That's great if we can find them.

We will, come on, let's go.

Look, there it is, a laundromat posing

as a front for prostitution.

Oh, no, they found it!

- I think I need a special cover for this.

Hello, girls, I'm looking to party.

I have a lot of money, here!

How much are we talkin' about?

I am looking for good prices.

You can have us all for $150.

- Up against the wall, spread 'em.

Say what?

Look, here he comes.

Ow!

Get in there.

Sparkle, Tinsel?

Save the reunion for later.

We're half-way there.

What about the johns?

- You have to go to the bathroom?

- No, now that the laundromat is empty,

Didi and I can take over and arrest some of their customers.

- Yeah, we can make our quota right here.

Get to it.

Yeah!

- Girls, it's okay of you wanna struggle

and try to get loose, I like to watch.

Pervert!

What do we do now?

Look like we mean business.

- Oh, I'm just looking for change.

- I think you came to the right place.

So what are you doing?

My laundry.

- Aren't you supposed to take off

all your clothes before you wash 'em?

- Sometimes, but I like to do two things at once.

Really?

- So what brings you here?

A hot rinse, a fast tumble,

or something on the more delicate side?

- Gee, I don't know, what'll this get me?

- Ooh, that will get me to wash all my clothes.

- So can we go in one of the rooms in back?

- Sounds like you've been here before.

I think the back's a little crowded,

why don't we just do it right here?

- Right here, in front of everybody?

- Don't worry, we'll have privacy.

A laundry bag?

- There's plenty of room, look.

Now why don't you just join me.

All right.

- Here, you put it in place while I get to work, huh?

Hey, what are you doing?

You're under arrest, Bozo!

This, this is entrapment.

- Huh, yeah and it worked real well.

- I'll check the back to see if we got 'em all.

Good, I'll take him outside.

Open up the back, I got another one.

That was fast.

She's got a tire iron!

Uh, Dwayne, help, Dwayne!

I'm trying.

Help, Dwayne!

Get her, get her.

- Hey, get the keys to these damn things.

I got 'em, I got 'em!

- Let's take them back to our warehouse

around the corner, we'll take care of them there.

- You're tampering with police business.

You can't get away with this.

- Just shut it up already!

- Oh, call a tow truck.

Welcome to a theater

that's been closed for 50 years.

Hello?

- Oh, Chuck, we were in the middle of an arrest

and something went wrong,

they've got Shawnee and Dwayne.

I need your help to save them.

- Oh, yeah, how am I supposed to help?

You left me handcuffed to the bed.

- I left you the key under the telephone,

I thought you'd find it by now.

When the lights go down,

the body count goes up.

Great, thanks a lot,

now I'll see if I can walk after last night.

- Chucky, please don't let me down.

They took them to a warehouse near Cahuenga and Lankershim.

Meet me there as soon as you can.

Okay, okay, goodbye.

I mean, right now.

Help, help,

help, help!

You can yell all you want

'cause there ain't nobody around to hear ya.

- Oh, Chucky, I'm so glad you're here.

- You know, I don't know why I'm doing this for you.

- There's something I wanted to tell you.

What is it?

- Well, this is kind of awkward for me.

Even though I only find you attractive

on a strictly physical level

and I could never take you home to meet my parents,

I still think I love you.

- I sorta feel the same way about you.

There's one other thing.

What?

- I lied to you before, I didn't fake my orgasm for you.

- I kinda figured that one out on my own.

Come on, let's go.

Follow me.

Okay, this way.

- The Queen Bee will see you now.

Now just be quiet and wait.

So you're the two that thought

that you could crack my crime ring?

But you didn't expect to run up

against the Queen Bee, now did you?

Who?

The Queen Bee.

Are we supposed to know you?

- The Queen Bee, the one who runs all

these inner city drug and prostitution rings.

Don't recognize the name.

- I thought you said they were cops.

Well, that's what I thought.

- Miss Bee, we're not police officers,

we're students at the Vice Academy.

The academy, the academy?

These people are rookies.

- Your people cost me a thousand dollars

and I'm gonna take it out of your hide.

And from what I can see now, you're about 950 short.

- Didn't you realize that our police force

has already sent out five undercover agents

to pose as hookers in my ring.

We captured all five and we haven't heard from them since.

What happened to them?

Well, we sent them overseas.

We sold them into white slavery.

They don't bother me anymore

and soon you'll join them, very soon.

What about me?

What about you?

Oh, we have a special assignment for you.

We need someone to watch over all of those girls.

That's something I think you could do quite well.

Watch a group of girls,

that doesn't sound so bad, I might even enjoy it.

I doubt that,

because first we're going to castrate you.

Help, somebody help us!

- Scream all you want, no one can help you now.

- You can't capture that entire group,

you might as well call the police now

before we get caught also.

You heard what she'd do to us,

there are some things a man won't sacrifice, no matter what.

Chucky, it's no time to talk

about major surgery, I have a plan.

A plan, right.

- I still have a few tricks left up my sleeve,

just trust me.

Okay, now I want you to make a tape recording

of you sounding like a police officer arresting everybody.

Now go on, try it.

- This is the police chief, you're all under arrest.

- No, no, no, make it sound more convincing.

Use the voice that you use in your movies.

- This is the police chief, you're all under arrest.

Put your hands in the air,

you have the right to remain silent,

don't move or we'll shoot.

We have the building surrounded.

Anything you say can and will be used against you

in a court of law.

Don't try to escape, we're sending for backup units.

- That was great, where'd you learn to say all that?

- Oh, I've been arrested a few times.

- Hmm, hurry, we got to get back to where we were

before the tape starts.

- Oh, get those shipping crates over here, will you?

And don't forget to punch some holes in them this time

so they don't suffocate like the last group.

- This is the police chief,

you're all under arrest.

What the hell is that?

It's a trick, Queen Bee.

Yeah, pack these two up.

- Put your hands in the air,

don't move or we'll shoot.

- It is a trick, they wouldn't shoot with two hostages.

- This is no time to fix your make-up.

Sh!

- Oh my God, I forgot, they're rookies,

they'll shoot at anything.

- We have the place surrounded,

you have the right to remain silent.

What do we do now, Queen Bee?

- This place is a honeycomb of mazes,

they'll never catch us, follow me.

Don't try to escape,

we're sending backup units.

Listen to that!

Which way now?

This way, B-Girls.

Didi, hOW'd you find us?

- Never mind, we have to catch them before they get away.

What's he doing here?

- He was the only one I could call to help us.

What's he done so far?

Don't move or we'll shoot.

Good work.

- Hurry, we have to get them before they find their way out.

- I thought you said this place was a maze of honeycombs.

- I am the Queen Bee not the maze keeper!

This must be the way out.

Hurry, girls.

Faster, B-Girls, faster!

Hey, how did you get untied?

It's a professional secret.

- Oh, yeah, well, what kind of professional secret

have you got for this?

(gun clicking

Dwayne, Dwayne!

Dwayne, the pressure point!

- I thought we were gonna do everything by the book.

- We are, I'm just using a different book.

Follow me.

Chucky Long, it's you!

Oh, Mr, Long, I'm your biggest fan.

You can have it for free.

You like it kinky?

- Does the Queen Bee sleep on her back?

- Now, wait here while we catch the others.

Damn you!

This is the last time I ever spend

a quarter to see one of your films!

What the hell happened to you?

- Sparkle, how did you get handcuffed?

- Oh, never mind, it was just a brief infatuation.

Come on, come on, come on!

What happened to you?

- I don't know, when that girl took off her blouse,

it had an effect on me like I never experienced before.

Oh, really?

Well, we'll have to discuss it, later!

This must be the way out.

Something's wrong!

Go!

Didi!

Yeah!

Oh, great we got them!

Oh, Chucky, we couldn't have done it without you!

Hey, wait, what time is it?

- It's after seven in the morning!

- Hurry, we're gonna miss graduation.

Come on!

Go!

- Congratulations on your commencement.

Graduating the Vice Academy is an honor

that only we can bestow upon you.

Soon you will be working hand in hand

as proud members of the police force.

Cleaning up our streets

of all the sleaze, slime, and filth,

that make our academy strong.

Ancl now, Police Chief Wells would like to say a few words.

Thank you very much

for those very kind words, Miss Devonshire.

You said them just the way I had them written.

I'm especially proud of my daughter Holly,

and all of you for that matter.

Faster, Didi, faster!

Of the glorious graduates-

Miss Devonshire, wait!

What in the world?

- You can't start graduation without us!

- How dare you interrupt my father's speech.

- Shut up, you'll wanna see this.

I don't believe it.

- The Queen Bee, my own police force

hasn't been able to bring her in.

- Yes, I know, we got them to confess

to where they had all of your agents

that they'd previously captured.

- This is the greatest sting operation I've ever seen.

Better than anything my own police officers have ever done,

better than anything my own daughter is capable of.

Daddy, how could you?

Oh, but, pumpkin-

Don't touch me!

Princess.

Just leave me alone.

A- ha, just as I thought!

What?

- There are only nine people in the van,

their quota was 1 O and they failed to meet it.

But-

You know as well as I

that they can't be allowed to graduate.

- But surely you can make an exception in this case.

The Queen Bee should count double.

Literally.

- We do things by the book around here.

The requirement was 10 and they failed to meet it.

I'm afraid she's right,

the requirement is 10.

I'm very sorry.

- You forgot to count me, it is 10.

- Chucky, what are you doing?

Be quiet, I owe you.

- Why aren't you in the back with the rest of them?

- They let me in front on account of good behavior.

- Chucky, how can I ever repay you?

Post my bail.

- It looks like you three are graduating.

Please reconsider,

this one can't even keep her clothes on.

- This is the most arrests we've had at one time

since we booked that group in the porno movie.

- We were the ones who brought in that group.

But since Miss Devonshire said

that we couldn't convict 'em,

it wouldn't count against our quota.

What are you talking about?

We had a witness come in here yesterday.

We've got a conviction that's good enough

to put the whole group away for some time.

What?

Oh, didn't I mention that?

Hi, you guys-

- Cherry Pop! - Hi, Cherry!

- We have good news, we're graduating!

I have good news, too,

my exercise video just went platinum!

Germ, Shawnee, and Cherry cheer)

- Get outta town! - God.

- Oh, let me see now, our arrest quota is actually 20,

that's the highest in the academy's history,

do you know what that means?

Congratulations on a job well clone.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you.

- How's it feel watching us graduate

when there's nothing you can do about it?

- Let's hear it for our valedictorians!

- So, is there really money in making exercise videos?

Are you kidding,

at this rate I'll be able to retire at 18.

- This could be the new career move I've been looking for.

Hmm, "Pump it up with Chucky Long," got a nice ring to it.

- Come, Miss Devonshire, we have a trip to make downtown.

You know, I have to give you credit

for your class this semester.

I'm sure your three prized pupils

will work very well side by side with you.

You don't mean it.

Of course I do,

I think their best place on the force

will be working right along side you.

Shut up back there!

I mean, sure, they'll make great partners.

♪ Huh

♪ Got a pistol in my pocket

♪ And baby, you can cock it

♪ Put your finger on the trigger

♪ Feel it getting bigger

♪ Move a little closer

♪ Let me stick it in your holster

♪ Let's do it

♪ Shoot my bullet

♪ Got a pistol in my pocket

♪ And baby, you can cock it

♪ It's got a 12 inch length

♪ And you can make it plank

♪ Blow me away, just give me a yank

♪ Let's do it

♪ Shoot my bullet

♪ When you roll up in my Levi's

♪ You can feel my Colt, yeah, 45

♪ Got a pistol in my pocket

♪ And baby, you can cock it

♪ It's straight from undercover

♪ But don't show it mother

♪ Lookin' for a sexy way to blow my ammunition

♪ Let's do it

♪ Bite my bullet

♪ Well, you better start stripping

♪ Or you're gonna get in the way of love

♪ Huh

♪ Got a pistol in my pocket

♪ And baby, you can cock it

♪ I'm a gun fanatic

♪ Feel my automatic

♪ Grab my love rocket

♪ And then feel my body rocking

♪ Let's do it

♪ Bite my bullet

♪ Now I've got you in my sight

♪ And I'm gonna hear the full cry tonight