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1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,103
ADULT ADAM:
Back in the '80s,
2
00:00:02,136 --> 00:00:04,272
there wasn't a Hollywood
awards show every week.
3
00:00:04,305 --> 00:00:07,275
There was just one.
I loved it. The Oscars.
4
00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:08,942
Atta boy, Rain Man!
5
00:00:08,976 --> 00:00:11,445
Eighty-two toothpicks
and one shiny statuette!
6
00:00:11,479 --> 00:00:12,680
Yes, Meryl.
7
00:00:12,713 --> 00:00:14,448
Sophie might've had
a tough choice,
8
00:00:14,482 --> 00:00:15,849
but the Academy sure didn't.
9
00:00:15,883 --> 00:00:17,218
Robert De Niro!
10
00:00:17,251 --> 00:00:19,120
More like Robert my hero.
11
00:00:19,153 --> 00:00:20,954
I agree.
You rocked me, Amadeus.
12
00:00:20,988 --> 00:00:23,524
Who the hell
are you talking to?
13
00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:26,627
ADULT ADAM: But as
an aspiring filmmaker
and son of Beverly Goldberg,
14
00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:29,963
there was another,
lesser-known awards show
I was forced to endure.
15
00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:32,166
And now, the mom-ent
we've all been waiting for,
16
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,768
the Acade-mom Award
for Best Picture.
17
00:00:34,802 --> 00:00:36,170
I thought last year
was the end of this,
18
00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:38,072
when I got my Lifetime
Achieve-mom Award.
19
00:00:38,106 --> 00:00:40,541
Your whining is why
the ceremony always
runs over.
20
00:00:40,574 --> 00:00:41,642
(CLEARS THROAT)
21
00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:43,344
And the Mom-inees are...
22
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:46,680
Inspector Fudge, a parody,
directed by Adam Goldberg.
23
00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:49,383
We all knew
he was gonna
find the fudge.
24
00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:50,684
It's in his name!
25
00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:52,186
The Partially Dressed Gun,
26
00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:54,722
a parody of the parody
The Naked Gun,
27
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:56,490
directed by
Adam F. Goldberg.
28
00:00:56,524 --> 00:00:57,725
I didn't care for that one.
29
00:00:57,758 --> 00:01:00,027
'Cause you never saw
the source material!
30
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,962
Adam and Chad Throw Pies
at the Garage,
31
00:01:01,995 --> 00:01:03,864
directed by
Adam F. Goldberg.
32
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:06,033
That one,
at least I understood.
33
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,668
And the Mommy goes to...
34
00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:09,270
I'm nervous for you, kid.
35
00:01:09,303 --> 00:01:11,205
Adam and Chad Throw Pies
at the Garage,
36
00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:12,973
directed by
Adam F. Goldberg!
37
00:01:13,006 --> 00:01:14,108
(LAUGHS)
38
00:01:14,142 --> 00:01:15,909
Get on up here, Adam!
It's a sweep!
39
00:01:15,943 --> 00:01:17,010
Ah, fine.
40
00:01:17,044 --> 00:01:19,847
Thank you for recognizing
a video I made
41
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:21,849
to kill three hours
over Labor Day weekend.
42
00:01:21,882 --> 00:01:23,384
Is there anyone
you'd like to thank?
43
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,052
Uh... Thank you
to Mrs. Kremp
44
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,820
for letting us throw pies
at her garage.
45
00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:28,289
And?
Thank you to my father
46
00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:30,090
for buying me blank tapes
to film on.
47
00:01:30,124 --> 00:01:32,193
And? Anyone
who inspired you?
48
00:01:32,226 --> 00:01:34,195
All the other filmmakers
who came before me.
49
00:01:34,228 --> 00:01:36,096
(CHUCKLES) Surely,
there is someone
50
00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:37,931
who always believed in you
and gave you life.
51
00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:40,067
Just say the words, Adam.
52
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,169
Fine.
53
00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:42,603
I'd also like
to thank my mother.
54
00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:44,705
Oh! W-What?
Oh, my God!
55
00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:46,006
That's my son!
56
00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:47,575
I made him,
so I deserve this.
57
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:49,877
Um, my heart
is racing right now.
58
00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:51,879
I promised I wouldn't cry,
but, uh...
59
00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:54,615
You like me!
You really like me!
60
00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:56,484
* I'm twisted up inside
61
00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:59,753
* But nonetheless,
I feel the need to say
62
00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:03,957
* I don't know the future
63
00:02:03,991 --> 00:02:07,595
* But the past keeps getting
clearer every day *
64
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,397
ADULT ADAM:
It was January 29th,
1980-something.
65
00:02:09,430 --> 00:02:12,132
Barry and his friends were in
their first adult apartment.
66
00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:14,868
Unfortunately,
they weren't adult enough
to pay their bills.
67
00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:16,970
JTP.
ALL: JTP.
68
00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:18,806
Guys, I am so cold.
69
00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:20,774
I don't think I can make it
another night here.
70
00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:21,975
Also,
have you guys noticed
71
00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:23,577
there's no water
coming out of the faucet?
72
00:02:23,611 --> 00:02:24,712
Hilarious.
73
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:26,747
We're lovable screw-ups
you can't help rooting for.
74
00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:28,316
Eh, I don't think
anyone would root for us
75
00:02:28,349 --> 00:02:29,750
if they saw our bathroom.
76
00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:31,084
It is rough sledding
in there.
77
00:02:31,118 --> 00:02:32,353
I don't go in there anymore.
78
00:02:32,386 --> 00:02:34,588
I signed up for
a water aerobics class
at the Y
79
00:02:34,622 --> 00:02:36,123
so I can get my body
in water once a week.
80
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,225
Smart.
81
00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:39,660
And I use the Wawa bathroom
down the street.
82
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:42,162
I don't want to be this guy,
but I'm worried about us.
83
00:02:42,196 --> 00:02:44,832
Silence,
un-silent Matt Bradley!
84
00:02:44,865 --> 00:02:47,435
I have an idea for how
to solve all our problems.
85
00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:49,903
Why am I looking
at toweled morons?
86
00:02:49,937 --> 00:02:52,105
Because our water's out,
so I told everyone
87
00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:54,174
they could use our
free-flowing suburban water.
88
00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:56,444
Well, here's the deal...
Get out!
89
00:02:56,477 --> 00:02:57,978
(GROANS)
90
00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,247
I knew this would happen.
91
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,181
And yet you made us
bike across town in the snow
92
00:03:01,215 --> 00:03:02,483
in only robes and towels?
93
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:03,951
To our frozen bikes.
94
00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:05,719
I have another
surefire iffy idea.
95
00:03:07,154 --> 00:03:09,357
Guess who's auditing
Art History. It's me.
96
00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:11,825
Good for you, babe. I didn't
know you liked art history.
97
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:13,961
Me neither, but I was
aimlessly wandering
the campus,
98
00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:15,563
as I like to do
on Mondays and Fridays
99
00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:16,930
and the other three
weekdays,
100
00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:18,332
and I passed
this lecture hall...
101
00:03:18,366 --> 00:03:19,400
And you got drawn in?
102
00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:20,701
You're ahead of the story,
but yes.
103
00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:21,935
Now the story's
caught up to you.
104
00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:23,203
Well, I'm very happy
for you.
105
00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:25,473
What the hell, JTP?
106
00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:27,541
You're supposed to knock
so we can not answer.
107
00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:28,642
We need your shower.
108
00:03:28,676 --> 00:03:29,710
And your soap.
109
00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:30,911
And your strawberry-scented
conditioner.
110
00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:32,513
And a lift home.
I cannot ride that
ice bike anymore.
111
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,047
No, no, and no, dorks.
112
00:03:34,081 --> 00:03:35,416
Why don't you guys shower
at your place?
113
00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:38,218
Because, Obvious Geoffrey, the
city stopped sending us water.
114
00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:40,120
Did you try calling
so they'll resume service?
115
00:03:40,153 --> 00:03:42,423
No, but in fairness,
there was no way to know
116
00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:44,358
my more impractical ideas
wouldn't work.
117
00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:46,527
Geoff, we need
your sick managerial skills.
118
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:47,595
Well, too bad, dips.
119
00:03:47,628 --> 00:03:50,230
My worldly fella
is too busy auditing
Art History.
120
00:03:50,264 --> 00:03:51,765
Auditing?
Like, not for credit?
121
00:03:51,799 --> 00:03:52,900
Then why do it?
122
00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:54,568
Because
it's totally inspiring
123
00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:56,437
to expand my horizons through
the pursuit of knowledge.
124
00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:58,171
Since he can't come up
with a reason,
125
00:03:58,205 --> 00:03:59,407
Geoff's gonna focus
on something
126
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:00,674
that actually does matter...
127
00:04:00,708 --> 00:04:02,710
Our deeply concerning
living situation.
128
00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:04,378
Like Geoff's
actually gonna...
129
00:04:04,412 --> 00:04:05,579
What the hell, dude?
130
00:04:05,613 --> 00:04:06,747
I have time
to help a little.
131
00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:07,881
Smart choice, Geoff.
132
00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:09,750
Now grab some
rubber gloves,
knee pads,
133
00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:12,085
sneakers
you don't care about,
and a plunger.
134
00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:14,087
First task is
more toilet-related
than not.
135
00:04:14,121 --> 00:04:16,724
ADULT ADAM: While the JTP
was finally getting some help,
136
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:19,727
the AV Club was about to get
some very exciting news.
137
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,094
Listen up, AV scrubs.
138
00:04:21,128 --> 00:04:23,364
Every club has to have
a faculty advisor.
139
00:04:23,397 --> 00:04:26,800
Due to me losing
12 consecutive rounds
of rock-paper-scissors,
140
00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:27,935
I'm yours.
141
00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:31,204
Anyway,
as I tend to see things
through a sports lens,
142
00:04:31,238 --> 00:04:32,740
I've decided
that we're gonna have
143
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,542
a school-wide
movie championship.
144
00:04:34,575 --> 00:04:36,176
You mean like
a film festival?
145
00:04:36,209 --> 00:04:37,911
I've been begging for one
for years.
146
00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:39,447
Count Johnny Atkins in.
147
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:40,714
Johnny Atkins?
148
00:04:40,748 --> 00:04:42,182
Since when are you
in the AV Club?
149
00:04:42,215 --> 00:04:44,251
Since they found asbestos
in the detention room.
150
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:45,819
Heh! (COUGHS)
151
00:04:45,853 --> 00:04:47,087
Question, Coach Advisor.
152
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,922
Is there
a format restriction?
153
00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:50,824
8 millimeter?
16 millimeter?
154
00:04:50,858 --> 00:04:52,259
Super 8? Super 16?
155
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:53,794
Super annoying question!
156
00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:55,095
Make a movie!
157
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,197
Dealer's choice
on the format. Nice.
158
00:04:57,230 --> 00:05:00,401
Just know I like movies
about sports, war,
159
00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:02,370
and lost dogs
finding their way home.
160
00:05:02,403 --> 00:05:03,737
Looks like
Banjo's Christmas Journey
161
00:05:03,771 --> 00:05:05,072
just got greenlit.
162
00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:07,207
What can we expect
from our big-time
director over here?
163
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,677
My development slate
for next year is pretty full,
164
00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:11,845
but I can fast-track
a festival darling.
165
00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:13,113
He's totally insufferable.
166
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,415
That's how you know
he's the best.
167
00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:16,384
Although, I might take
a quick do-si-do
168
00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:17,751
outside my comfort zone.
169
00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:20,253
I'll be working
in the new Super VHS.
170
00:05:20,287 --> 00:05:21,655
But you'll need to buy
a new camera.
171
00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:23,090
Silly Emmy.
172
00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:24,858
I'm what you call
completely spoiled.
173
00:05:24,892 --> 00:05:26,394
ADULT ADAM: Yep, my mom
was always there
174
00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:27,861
when I needed
or wanted something,
175
00:05:27,895 --> 00:05:29,797
and fortunately,
we had a shorthand.
176
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,331
Hey, Mama...
From your tone,
177
00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:34,101
I can tell you're gonna
need more fancy and
expensive camera equipment.
178
00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:36,704
From your tone,
I'm getting that you'll
happily pay for it.
179
00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:38,706
See, there's...
A film festival at school?
180
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:40,508
How exciting!
And I know...
181
00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,876
Deep in your heart
that I'm gonna win
because I'm, by far...
182
00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:45,446
The most talented boy
in the world? Yes!
183
00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:47,314
Here. I'll give you a...
Blank check so I can...
184
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:48,716
Go to the camera store
and get...
185
00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:50,584
Whatever I need,
no questions asked,
because you...
186
00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:51,885
Love and believe in you
like...
187
00:05:51,919 --> 00:05:54,254
No mom has ever loved
and believed in her son.
188
00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:55,322
Thanks...
Mama. You're...
189
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,591
Welcome,
my sweet forever-baby.
190
00:05:57,625 --> 00:06:00,694
Dude, a real relationship's
gonna be very hard
for you one day.
191
00:06:00,728 --> 00:06:02,696
Oh, he already has
a real relationship.
192
00:06:02,730 --> 00:06:04,064
With me.
(CHUCKLES)
193
00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:06,667
We had a ceremony
and everything
when he was four.
194
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,736
Take this
to the camera store
and spend hard.
195
00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:10,671
ADULT ADAM: While I was
on my way to get
some new equipment,
196
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:13,607
the JTP had found
someone equipped to help.
197
00:06:13,641 --> 00:06:15,543
Okay, so,
I spent the morning
making some repairs.
198
00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:16,644
I snaked the toilet...
199
00:06:16,677 --> 00:06:17,745
There was a snake
stuck in there?
200
00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:19,212
Ohh!
ROB: Awesome!
201
00:06:19,246 --> 00:06:21,649
What a tale of survival.
Nature is amazing.
202
00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:23,551
Not an actual snake.
203
00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:25,018
And moving on.
204
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:27,721
I patched the walls,
set up a house account,
and paid your bills.
205
00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:29,322
Now all that's left
for you guys to do
206
00:06:29,356 --> 00:06:31,224
is call the gas company
and set up an appointment
207
00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:32,325
for them
to turn it back on.
208
00:06:32,359 --> 00:06:33,894
Or you do it
209
00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:36,029
and we'll watch so we'll know
how to do it next time.
210
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,631
I can't guarantee
I'm gonna watch.
211
00:06:37,665 --> 00:06:40,501
I-It's a big hassle,
and there's often a lot
of time on hold, so...
212
00:06:40,534 --> 00:06:42,002
That's no way to sell us
on doing it, bro.
213
00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:44,738
Geoffrey, as a "thank you"
for the tasks you've done
214
00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:46,073
and the many that remain,
215
00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:48,842
I'm gonna cede my title
as house manager to you.
216
00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:50,644
No... The house manager
should be someone
217
00:06:50,678 --> 00:06:51,845
who actually lives
in the house.
218
00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:52,913
And plus,
I'm pretty busy now.
219
00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:55,182
It's just, I fear
it won't get done
220
00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:57,250
and Andy's little body
won't survive the winter.
221
00:06:57,284 --> 00:06:59,052
(COUGHS)
222
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:00,888
Okay, fine!
I'll be your
house manager!
223
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,523
Atta boy!
And take it from me,
224
00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:03,891
it's a pretty cushy
position.
225
00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:06,259
The other guys give you
hundreds of dollars
every month.
226
00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:07,595
Actually, Bar,
that's for rent.
227
00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:09,563
Oh.
That makes more sense.
228
00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:12,365
Too bad the taxidermist said
no refunds or exchanges.
229
00:07:12,399 --> 00:07:13,501
You said
you found them!
230
00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:15,903
No.
I said I posed them.
231
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:16,970
This is gonna be
a nightmare.
232
00:07:17,004 --> 00:07:18,305
Yeah, it is.
Slap me some paw.
233
00:07:18,338 --> 00:07:20,708
ADULT ADAM:
While Geoff was realizing
he was a pleaser,
234
00:07:20,741 --> 00:07:22,275
I was beyond pleased
to be shopping
235
00:07:22,309 --> 00:07:24,144
for cutting-edge
film technology,
236
00:07:24,177 --> 00:07:25,746
the S-VHS camera.
237
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,414
Oh, my God.
It's glorious.
238
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,750
Totally.
But why, exactly?
239
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:32,285
According to people
in the know,
it's slightly better.
240
00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:34,254
You'll be paying
so much for so little.
241
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:36,389
I need it and don't care
what it costs my parents.
242
00:07:36,423 --> 00:07:37,958
Excuse me? Sir?
243
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:39,560
Could you show me
this bad mamma-jamma?
244
00:07:39,593 --> 00:07:41,529
Be prepared to have
your world nudged.
245
00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:44,231
ADULT ADAM:
It was my former rival,
the other Adam Goldberg!
246
00:07:44,264 --> 00:07:46,133
It's you!
Adam Goldberg!
247
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:47,601
I heard you went
to Hollywood.
248
00:07:47,635 --> 00:07:49,937
Technically, I was living
in a town called Duarte,
249
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,539
but yeah,
I chased my dreams.
250
00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:54,241
Word on the street is you had
a line on The Love Boat.
251
00:07:54,274 --> 00:07:56,076
Yep. "Which one of you ladies
ordered the white wine?"
252
00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:58,979
Also booked
a rad McDLT spot,
but... Whatever.
253
00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:00,113
You were the dude
who suggests
254
00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:02,115
they keep the hot side hot
and the cool side cool.
255
00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:03,617
So, what are you
doing back here?
256
00:08:03,651 --> 00:08:05,252
Reevaluating.
257
00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:06,587
It's rough out there, man.
258
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:08,656
My McDLT spot
was seven months ago.
259
00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:10,023
Since then,
I haven't exactly been
260
00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:11,491
on the hot side
of the burger box.
261
00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:13,093
But you're crazy talented.
262
00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:15,162
I had big dreams,
but the streets of Hollywood
263
00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:16,363
are littered
with guys like me.
264
00:08:16,396 --> 00:08:18,632
And actual litter.
Place is filthy.
265
00:08:18,666 --> 00:08:22,002
No offense, but...
I'll probably make it,
right?
266
00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:24,204
You may be the best filmmaker
in your dinky school,
267
00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:25,639
but you'd be
a dime a dozen
out there.
268
00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:26,940
Goldberg!
269
00:08:26,974 --> 00:08:29,442
Stop crushing
customers' dreams
and get on that rickety ladder
270
00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:30,944
and pull down
one of the heavy TVs.
271
00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:33,647
Enjoy making your little
high school movie, kid.
272
00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:34,815
It's only downhill
from here.
273
00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:39,219
Did you buy your recklessly
expensive camera, Schmoo?
274
00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:43,190
Actually, I've decided
to give up filmmaking forever.
275
00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:44,291
What?
276
00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:46,627
But that's
your life's ambition.
277
00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:48,829
Eh. Maybe I'll be a lawyer.
278
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,297
Or a CPA.
279
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:51,865
I don't know...
Bricklayer.
280
00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:52,966
Is that a real thing?
281
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,301
Manual labor?
282
00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:55,535
Look at me.
Look at me.
283
00:08:55,569 --> 00:08:58,338
Who did this to you?
Nobody did anything.
284
00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:00,240
I just bumped into
the other Adam Goldberg
285
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:01,675
working
at the camera place.
286
00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:03,510
Oh, feh on him!
What does he know?
287
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,478
Only everything.
288
00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:08,649
He was
the most talented person
to ever go to our school,
289
00:09:08,682 --> 00:09:10,684
and now he's back here,
selling cameras.
290
00:09:11,919 --> 00:09:14,354
If he can't do it,
I never will.
291
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:15,923
Here's your check back,
Mom.
292
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:19,526
This isn't over,
is it?
293
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:20,961
Nope.
294
00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:23,964
You're gonna go destroy
that poor other Adam Goldberg,
aren't you?
295
00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:25,265
Damn right I am.
296
00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:28,035
Why do I bother asking?
297
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,770
I know all the answers.
298
00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:34,007
ADULT ADAM: After realizing
he was too much of a pleaser,
299
00:09:34,041 --> 00:09:35,876
Geoff sought help
from the one person
300
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,444
who never
pleased anyone at all.
301
00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:38,979
Why are you
in front of the TV, Schwartz?
302
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:40,547
It's a quarter
to Remington Steele.
303
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,750
Mr. G, I-I'm worried
I'm a pleaser.
304
00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:44,752
Well, you're not
pleasing me right now.
305
00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:46,253
Everyone always wants me
to do stuff for them,
306
00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:47,587
and I don't know
how to say no.
307
00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:49,456
Y-You never
do anything
for anyone.
308
00:09:49,489 --> 00:09:50,991
It's easy. Lump.
309
00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:53,093
As in just sit there
and never move?
310
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:54,194
Definitely.
311
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:55,896
But also L-U-M-P.
312
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,865
It's my secret for not doing
anything for anyone.
313
00:09:57,898 --> 00:09:59,633
You're a lazy monster,
and that's what I need.
314
00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:02,002
Please, let me learn
at your idle feet.
315
00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:03,937
Okay, first up is L.
316
00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:06,106
Lower expectations.
317
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:08,108
It's something
I've perfected over time.
318
00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:10,410
Dad, can you quiz me
with these science
flash cards?
319
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:11,745
Ah, who am I kidding?
320
00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:14,314
In all my years,
you've never shown
interest in my education.
321
00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:16,283
He thinks
you're a worthless dad.
322
00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:17,918
That took
a lot of not doing.
323
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,419
Next up is U.
324
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:22,555
When there's no way
out of something, underwhelm.
325
00:10:22,589 --> 00:10:24,191
This is
how you wash a dish?
326
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:27,294
Okay, no more
washing dishes for you!
327
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:29,763
You did a horrible job,
and now she'll never
ask you again.
328
00:10:29,797 --> 00:10:31,331
I'm the worst.
329
00:10:31,364 --> 00:10:33,200
Next up is M,
330
00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:35,903
which stands for "mumble"
and "moron."
331
00:10:35,936 --> 00:10:38,271
Hey, Dad, can you
show me how to change
the oil in my car?
332
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:40,273
(MUMBLING)
What does that even mean?
333
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,509
Leave me alone,
ya moron!
Pbht!
334
00:10:42,542 --> 00:10:45,445
So brilliant!
So, what's P?
335
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:46,947
It's the thing
I'm most proud of.
336
00:10:47,715 --> 00:10:49,416
Pants.
Pants?
337
00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:52,485
Why do you think
I come in the house
and take off my pants?
338
00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:54,254
I assumed
it had to do with comfort
339
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:55,756
and generally
just giving up.
340
00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:57,224
Yes, but also,
341
00:10:57,257 --> 00:11:00,627
who's the least likely person
to be asked to do anything?
342
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,329
Oh, my God.
The guy with no pants.
343
00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:05,799
Hey, Mur, could you give me
a ride to the pharmacy...
344
00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:08,635
Oh, he's not even
wearing pants.
345
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,070
I'll bus it.
346
00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:12,439
My God. You have
given me such a gift!
347
00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:14,908
It's my life's work.
Don't waste it.
348
00:11:14,942 --> 00:11:16,910
Get out there
and do as little
as you can.
349
00:11:16,944 --> 00:11:19,246
I'm gonna do nothing
and make you proud.
350
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:20,513
ADULT ADAM:
With my dad's advice,
351
00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:22,382
Geoff was ready
to be a lump of his own.
352
00:11:22,415 --> 00:11:24,852
Hey, Geoff, could you run
to the mailroom
and get my mail for me?
353
00:11:24,885 --> 00:11:26,319
He lowered expectations.
354
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:27,955
Erica, when have I ever done
stuff like that for you?
355
00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:29,322
Only all the time.
356
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:31,925
Yeah, well,
not in the last two minutes,
so stop expecting it.
357
00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:32,993
He underwhelmed.
358
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,327
Geoff, you said
359
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:35,996
you were going to make
a chore wheel for our house.
360
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:37,297
Oh, right, right.
361
00:11:38,766 --> 00:11:40,100
Here you go.
362
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:42,035
Yeah, this seems
less like a chore wheel
363
00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:44,972
and more like a napkin
with the words "Andy"
and "mop."
364
00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:46,506
That's how Geoff do?
365
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:47,875
Unacceptable, Geoff!
366
00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:50,010
Your chore-wheel-making
privileges are revoked.
367
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:51,178
And you need to come over.
368
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,545
Our clean-up skills
are not strong.
369
00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:54,047
I spilled
a lot of Kool-Aid.
370
00:11:54,081 --> 00:11:56,817
Whatever you picture
a lot is, like, way more.
371
00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:58,819
He mumbled
and he moron-ed.
372
00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:00,387
(MUMBLES)
What?
373
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,355
And also leave me alone,
morons!
374
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:04,191
Super un-Geoff
of you, man.
375
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:06,159
Are you going to
get my mail or not?
376
00:12:06,193 --> 00:12:08,762
Finally, it was time
for the pants.
377
00:12:08,796 --> 00:12:10,697
Oh. It's about time
he's swinging into action.
378
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,332
(ZIPPER OPENS)
379
00:12:12,365 --> 00:12:13,500
BARRY: What?
ANDY: No!
380
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:15,668
Bad Geoff!
He's not wearing pants.
381
00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:17,070
Dude's clearly
not going anywhere.
382
00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:20,307
Okay, let's go, guys.
Maybe there's a panted savior
that can help us.
383
00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:21,708
Holy crap.
384
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:24,344
My pants are on the floor,
and my spirits
are through the roof.
385
00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:26,613
While Geoff
was trying to be like my dad,
386
00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:29,016
my mom was busy being...
Well, like my mom.
387
00:12:29,049 --> 00:12:30,550
Can I answer any questions
for you, ma'am?
388
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:31,785
Oh, just one.
389
00:12:31,819 --> 00:12:33,686
Uh, who the (BLEEP)
do you think you are?
390
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,756
Whoa!
This is a family-friendly
audio-video store.
391
00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:38,892
Except for that section
over behind the saloon doors.
392
00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:41,394
You spoke to my son,
also Adam Goldberg,
393
00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:43,797
and snuffed out
his perfect
little-boy dreams.
394
00:12:43,831 --> 00:12:45,732
Look, lady,
I just call 'em
like I see 'em.
395
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,734
It's tough to make it
in the movies.
396
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,036
Oh, for you, maybe.
(CHUCKLES)
397
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:50,938
But not for my little
Stanley Schmoo-brick.
398
00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:52,973
Well, that gives me a sense
of what I'm dealing with here.
399
00:12:53,006 --> 00:12:55,108
Next time, I won't
burst the little bubble
you keep him in.
400
00:12:55,142 --> 00:12:56,910
No next time.
This time.
401
00:12:56,944 --> 00:12:58,111
You are gonna fix this.
402
00:12:58,145 --> 00:12:59,880
And how am I
gonna do that?
Simple.
403
00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:01,915
I'm casting you
in the role of a lifetime,
404
00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:03,917
as "guy who gets
his big break."
405
00:13:03,951 --> 00:13:05,718
Sorry, but I kinda
put acting on hold.
406
00:13:05,752 --> 00:13:08,221
Well, take it off hold.
The pay's $50.
407
00:13:08,255 --> 00:13:10,523
(SCOFFS)
Well, I suppose
I could throw in,
408
00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:12,625
uh, me not
coming down here
every day
409
00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:13,927
and making
your life miserable.
410
00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:15,528
All right,
I'm on the project.
411
00:13:15,562 --> 00:13:17,564
ADULT ADAM: Now that
my mom had her cast,
412
00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:19,799
all that remained
was the performance.
413
00:13:19,833 --> 00:13:21,568
Hello and welcome.
414
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:23,636
Hey, Adam, did you leave
this Philadelphia Inquirer
415
00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:24,972
Metro section
at the store the other day?
416
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:27,240
Nope. Sorry.
Huh.
417
00:13:27,274 --> 00:13:28,842
Well, I better figure out
whose it is soon,
418
00:13:28,876 --> 00:13:31,011
'cause I gotta catch a flight
to Hollywood, California,
419
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,645
moviemaking capital
of the world.
420
00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:34,948
But I thought you were
reevaluating your
career choice.
421
00:13:34,982 --> 00:13:36,917
I was, but then I got
some amazing news.
422
00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:38,818
See, my, uh,
ex-roommate's
cousin's neighbor
423
00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:40,587
is friends with
Brian De Palma's
agent's assistant,
424
00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:42,222
and slipped him
my McDLT commercial.
425
00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:43,690
Ooh. Seriously?
426
00:13:43,723 --> 00:13:46,026
But, wait, there's more.
I'd imagine.
427
00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:47,227
The assistant got it
to the agent,
428
00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:48,795
who got it to De Palma,
who liked what he saw
429
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,998
and cast me in his new
Molly Ringwald picture.
430
00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:52,132
Holy balls!
431
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:54,834
America's angsty
ginger princess!
432
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:56,636
And I bet that could lead
to other things.
433
00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:58,571
No truer words
have ever been spoken.
434
00:13:58,605 --> 00:14:00,941
Well, good luck on
one of the easiest careers
you could ever choose.
435
00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:03,043
And, uh, call me.
We'll split a salad at Spago.
436
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:04,878
Doesn't sound
like enough food,
but I'm in!
437
00:14:04,912 --> 00:14:05,979
(BEVERLY GASPS)
438
00:14:06,013 --> 00:14:07,447
Oh, wow!
439
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:08,949
I mean, just, wow.
440
00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:11,952
If something so random
and amazing could happen
to him,
441
00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:13,786
I bet there's hope
for you, too, huh?
442
00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:16,289
You know it!
I'm back in the festival.
443
00:14:16,323 --> 00:14:18,791
See ya, babe.
Have your people
call my people.
444
00:14:18,825 --> 00:14:21,061
ADULT ADAM:
While my movie dreams
were back on track,
445
00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:23,997
the JTP was trying to keep
the train from derailing
without Geoff.
446
00:14:24,031 --> 00:14:25,865
So... Cold!
447
00:14:25,899 --> 00:14:27,000
Whose turn is it
to sweep?
448
00:14:27,034 --> 00:14:29,436
I don't know, but according
to Geoff's chore napkin,
449
00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:30,737
it's Andy's turn
to mop again.
450
00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:32,605
Come on!
I'm never not mopping!
451
00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:34,007
Get me the phone.
I'm calling Geoff.
452
00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:35,976
Sorry, Tasty,
but our phone's out, too.
453
00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:37,644
Oh, no!
454
00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:39,446
It's getting harder and harder
to root for us.
455
00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:41,548
(METAL BANGS, WATER RUSHING)
456
00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:43,016
Uh, did anyone else hear
what sounds like
457
00:14:43,050 --> 00:14:45,218
the bursting of old metal
followed by rushing water?
458
00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:47,387
Oh, no! Oh, no!
459
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:48,655
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
460
00:14:48,688 --> 00:14:50,023
ADULT ADAM: Geoff had sent
a clear message
461
00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:51,824
that he was no longer
helping anyone,
462
00:14:51,858 --> 00:14:53,660
but that message
hadn't gotten through.
463
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:56,363
In Egypt,
a great deal of art
was created
464
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,165
to honor the pharaoh.
(WHISPERING)
Psst! Geoff!
465
00:14:58,198 --> 00:14:59,232
Did you buy
peanut butter?
466
00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:00,500
What?
I'm in class.
467
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:02,069
Yeah, but just, like,
a quick yes or no,
468
00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:04,404
'cause I'm walking past
the Wawa and I got chunky
on the mind.
469
00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:05,572
Yes.
470
00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:07,740
Okay, great.
471
00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:09,943
Wait, yes, you bought it
or yes, we need it?
472
00:15:09,977 --> 00:15:11,378
Yes, we have
stupid peanut butter!
473
00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:13,713
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Don't mind me.
474
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,415
Just a PB emergency.
475
00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:17,817
Go back to your
super important art talk.
476
00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:19,919
Geoffrey Antoinette
Schwartz!
477
00:15:19,953 --> 00:15:22,189
Oh, God.
Dumbwads, he is in class!
478
00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:23,923
Your stupid thing
can wait.
479
00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:25,025
What kind of jam
do I like?
480
00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:26,426
ANDY: Yeah,
but it's super urgent.
481
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:28,595
There's water everywhere,
and we don't know what to do!
482
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:29,862
And you are
the house manager.
483
00:15:29,896 --> 00:15:31,231
Oh, my God! Enough!
484
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:32,599
I am so sorry, Professor.
485
00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:34,734
My girlfriend and friends
can't stop taking
advantage of me.
486
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,536
We're not taking
advantage of you.
487
00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:38,138
You just are really good
at doing things.
488
00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:41,908
No! You're all
just too lazy and selfish
to do anything on your own!
489
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,776
And it was bad enough
when I had nothing going on,
490
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:45,612
but now I found something
I actually like,
491
00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:47,414
and you ruined it for me,
so thanks a lot.
492
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:50,317
Pfft.
493
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:52,919
Antoinette?
That sounds wrong, bro.
494
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:55,122
Now that I say it out loud,
it might be Todd.
495
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:57,157
ADULT ADAM: While Geoff
had finally reached
his breaking point,
496
00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:59,326
I was back in pursuit
of my big break.
497
00:15:59,359 --> 00:16:01,794
One brand-new
S-VHS camera, please.
498
00:16:01,828 --> 00:16:03,563
Wait. I thought
you went back to L.A.
499
00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:05,532
Yeah, that's, uh...
That's next week.
500
00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:07,634
So, you gonna quit
this job?
501
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:10,070
What?
You're quitting, Goldberg?
No!
502
00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:12,805
But how can you have
a Hollywood career
and still work here?
503
00:16:12,839 --> 00:16:14,741
I'll commute
to both things.
504
00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:16,176
I mean,
the studio has a jet.
505
00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:18,345
It's in my deal I can still
sell cameras and whatnot.
506
00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:20,947
That makes no sense.
What's going on?
507
00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:22,915
Well...
508
00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:24,617
You paid him
to lie to me?
509
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:25,918
Here's the truth...
510
00:16:25,952 --> 00:16:27,354
Absolutely not.
511
00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:28,588
Just tell the boy.
512
00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:30,023
Here's the truth...
513
00:16:30,057 --> 00:16:31,158
100% yes.
514
00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:32,592
What the hell, lady?
515
00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:34,094
You stopped believing
in yourself.
516
00:16:34,127 --> 00:16:35,462
I had to do something.
517
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:36,663
Don't you get it?
518
00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:38,498
If he can't make it
in Hollywood,
519
00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:40,133
I don't have a prayer.
520
00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:42,302
And no lies
are gonna change that.
521
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:43,803
I'm done.
522
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:47,006
**
523
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:48,341
(SIGHS)
524
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,845
ADULT ADAM: I had given up
on filmmaking for good
525
00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:54,214
and dropped out
of the festival,
526
00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:55,615
which is probably why
this happened.
527
00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:58,051
Looks like we got
a new movie champ.
528
00:16:58,085 --> 00:16:59,952
You left it all
on the screen, Atkins.
529
00:16:59,986 --> 00:17:03,390
Ha! Looks like I'm the school
movie nerd now, Goldnerd.
530
00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:05,625
Oh, no. I'm a nerd.
531
00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:07,694
The ultimate twist.
532
00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:11,864
And that concludes
the last annual
WPA Movie Championship.
533
00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:16,035
Actually...
I have one more entrant.
534
00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:18,505
Oh, no! No way!
You've done enough!
535
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:19,839
Sorry, clock ran out.
536
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:21,374
That's what
next season's for.
537
00:17:21,408 --> 00:17:24,411
Oh, I don't care.
The dumb festival can be over.
538
00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:25,878
This is just for my son.
539
00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:27,214
May I?
540
00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:28,815
Do what you gotta do.
541
00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:30,550
(PROJECTOR WHIRRING)
ADULT ADAM: In that moment,
my mom did something
542
00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:31,984
I never could have
imagined.
543
00:17:32,018 --> 00:17:33,052
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)
544
00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:36,223
Stop videotaping!
545
00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:40,393
ADULT ADAM: She gave me
a highlight reel of every
movie I'd ever made.
546
00:17:40,427 --> 00:17:42,362
That's the end of you,
Optimus!
547
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:44,564
I literally cannot die!
548
00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:48,235
Bow before Princess Leia!
Never!
549
00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:49,436
Death grip!
(CHOKING)
550
00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:50,703
I'm your father!
551
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:52,872
(VOICE BREAKING)
No. That's not true!
552
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:54,807
**
553
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:56,376
ADULT ADAM: Maybe they weren't
all award-winners,
554
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:59,078
but thanks to her,
I realized making movies
555
00:17:59,112 --> 00:18:01,214
wasn't about succeeding
in Hollywood.
556
00:18:01,248 --> 00:18:03,116
It was about creating
something special
557
00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:05,685
with the people I loved.
558
00:18:05,718 --> 00:18:08,255
And if I could do that
for the rest of my life,
559
00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:09,989
I'd be living the dream.
560
00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:13,293
No!
561
00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:15,695
**
562
00:18:15,728 --> 00:18:18,398
This is amazing.
563
00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:19,499
It's all you.
564
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:25,605
Schmoo, I'm sorry
I shielded you
from the truth.
565
00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:29,609
These movies remind me
that you are joyful
and creative
566
00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:31,678
and one of a kind.
567
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:35,782
And if you never
give up...
568
00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:38,017
I just know
you're gonna make it.
569
00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:40,887
(COREY HART'S
NEVER SURRENDER PLAYS)
570
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:44,191
ADULT ADAM: Just then,
I realized there are
worse things in the world
571
00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:45,958
than someone
who thinks you're the best.
572
00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:47,126
What's going on?
573
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:48,728
I got your message
about an emergency.
574
00:18:48,761 --> 00:18:51,030
It's a friend
emergency.
And boyfriend.
575
00:18:51,063 --> 00:18:53,300
Oh, my God.
Did someone break in here
and clean the place?
576
00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:54,767
No. You were right.
577
00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:56,336
We were being lazy
and selfish.
578
00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:57,437
Look.
579
00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:59,572
* Just a little more
time is all...
580
00:18:59,606 --> 00:19:00,740
Chore wheel.
581
00:19:00,773 --> 00:19:02,809
Also, we realized
we've been pretty
rotten to you,
582
00:19:02,842 --> 00:19:04,877
and we want
to make it right.
583
00:19:04,911 --> 00:19:06,913
**
584
00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:08,415
A Penn college
course guide?
585
00:19:08,448 --> 00:19:10,683
We know
how much you loved
auditing that class.
586
00:19:10,717 --> 00:19:11,884
You should do more of it.
587
00:19:11,918 --> 00:19:14,954
Yeah. You've always
been there to support us.
588
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:17,290
Now it's time for us to
support you for a change.
589
00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:21,361
Guys, thanks.
This is amazing.
590
00:19:21,394 --> 00:19:23,095
No, Geoff.
You're amazing.
591
00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:24,697
**
592
00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:27,967
ADULT ADAM: Sometimes,
we end up taking advantage
of the people we love,
593
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,702
or even people
we barely know.
594
00:19:29,736 --> 00:19:31,604
* ...show you how...
595
00:19:31,638 --> 00:19:32,705
Hey.
596
00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:34,807
Come to cast me
in more of your
family drama?
597
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:36,643
I'm actually here
to say thank you.
598
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:37,710
For what?
599
00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:39,812
I was looking at it
all wrong.
600
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:41,548
I let your story
intimidate me
601
00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:43,450
when I should've been
inspired by it.
602
00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:46,619
You're proof that guys like us
from dinky Jenkintown
603
00:19:46,653 --> 00:19:47,687
can make it.
604
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,822
I'd hardly say
I made it.
605
00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:51,123
But you're gonna.
606
00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:52,392
With your skills?
607
00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:53,493
You were pretty
convincing as
608
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:55,061
"guy who just got
a big break."
609
00:19:55,094 --> 00:19:57,196
Did you notice that thing
where I shook my head like
I still couldn't believe it?
610
00:19:57,230 --> 00:19:58,898
I believed that you
couldn't believe it.
611
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:01,133
You know what?
612
00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:02,535
Maybe I will give it
another shot.
613
00:20:02,569 --> 00:20:04,304
You better.
And who knows?
614
00:20:04,337 --> 00:20:06,473
Maybe Hollywood's big enough
for two Adam Goldbergs.
615
00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:09,309
* To never surrender
616
00:20:09,342 --> 00:20:11,644
ADULT ADAM: But no matter
how far over the line we go,
617
00:20:11,678 --> 00:20:14,514
the people we care about
will always welcome us back.
618
00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:15,715
So, what are you
thinking?
619
00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:17,717
Well, this year,
I followed the Dead,
620
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:19,419
I started
a failed business,
621
00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:21,388
and I did
a whole lot of nothing.
622
00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:23,656
I think it's time
I actually apply
to college.
623
00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:25,124
For real?
624
00:20:25,157 --> 00:20:26,959
For real.
625
00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:28,595
**
626
00:20:28,628 --> 00:20:30,763
ADULT ADAM: And whether
it's the big moments
of our lives
627
00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:33,065
or just the decisions
that lead to those moments,
628
00:20:33,099 --> 00:20:35,335
as long as you have people
who love and support you,
629
00:20:35,368 --> 00:20:38,170
there's a good change
your dreams will come true.
630
00:20:38,204 --> 00:20:40,973
* To never surrender
631
00:20:41,007 --> 00:20:42,975
* To never surrender *
632
00:20:43,009 --> 00:20:45,177
**
633
00:20:45,211 --> 00:20:46,913
BOTH ADAMS:
But this would be
the start of more.
634
00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:48,548
A lot more.
635
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,850
**
636
00:20:50,883 --> 00:20:52,552
It was a phone call for me.
637
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:54,153
The first phone call
all summer,
638
00:20:54,186 --> 00:20:55,555
because phones were new.
639
00:20:57,557 --> 00:21:01,428
Okay, today, I'm gonna
walk you through my process
640
00:21:01,461 --> 00:21:04,063
with a little
director's commentary.
641
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:06,198
JOHNNY: I'm Banjo the Dog.
Arf!
642
00:21:06,232 --> 00:21:08,535
And I've gotta find my way
home before Christmas!
643
00:21:08,568 --> 00:21:09,902
Here's
an interesting tidbit...
644
00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:11,871
That's my voice,
not a dog's.
645
00:21:11,904 --> 00:21:13,506
Movie magic.
Am I right?
646
00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:15,408
These woods look familiar.
647
00:21:15,442 --> 00:21:17,076
I think I'm getting
closer to home.
648
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:18,244
(JOHNNY BARKS)
649
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:19,579
Keep going, Banjo!
650
00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:20,813
You're almost there!
651
00:21:20,847 --> 00:21:24,083
I made it!
That was ruff!
(CHUCKLES)
652
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:27,053
Fun fact...
Banjo's real name is Jimbo.
653
00:21:27,086 --> 00:21:28,287
(CHUCKLES)
48821
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