All language subtitles for Paradise Lagoon, Bulunmaz Uşak (1957) EN

-[Clears throat]
- Huh? Oh.

Good morning, my lord. Clement weather.

Drafty.

Lovegrove begs me to inform Your Lordship
that the Phalaenopsis lueddemanniana

in the south conservatory
is in full bloom.

- Eh?
- An orchid.

Oh. Anything in the paper?

The suffragettes are again giving trouble,
my lord.

One of them threw a brickbat through
a window at number 10 last evening.

Oh. Well, go on.
Were there any casualties?

An under footman sustained a broken nose.

No one of any consequence was hurt.
The Prime Minister was dining out.

Oh. It's a pity.

Uh, what do you mean,
no one of any consequence?

How do you know that the under footman
wasn't just as good a fellow

as the Prime Minister?

[stammers] My lord,
I beg you to lower your voice.

If any of the other servants
should hear you...

Now we've had this
discussion before, Crichton.

Today I intend to prove my point.

Oh, no, my lord!

Yes. Crichton, get my daughters
out of bed immediately.

I beg your pardon.

What? Oh.

[stammering] Well,
get their maids to get them out of bed.

Breakfast will be in 30 minutes

and I expect all three of them
to be there.

Very good, my lord.
I'll send Rolleston in to dress you.

Liberty, equality, fraternity!

All for one and one for all, Crichton.

That was the French, my lord.

[gong echoing]

Good morning, Crichton.

Good morning, my lady.
His Lordship is waiting.

Thank you, Crichton.

- Good morning, Crichton.
- Good morning, Lady Catherine.

His Lordship is waiting.

It'll do him good.

Good morning, Crichton.

- His Lordship is waiting, Lady Agatha.
- Oh, golly.

- Good morning, Father.
- Good morning.

Father, why have we been dragged
out of bed at this unearthly hour?

Unearthly?

My dear girl, are you aware that millions
of good people in the British Isles

have already been hard at work
for three hours and more?

People, yes, but not us.

And thousands of them have started their
day on no more than a crust of bread

and a cup of water.

You seem very interested this morning,
Father, in the way other people live.

I am. And so ought you to be.

All of you.

Father, please, not at breakfast.

That maid of yours, Mary.

- What's her name?
- Fisher.

Yes, Fisher.

What's her Christian name?
Oh, I don't know.

And what's more,
I'm sure she doesn't want me to.

Father, dear, you'll be asking us next
to share our meals with our maids.

That's exactly what you are going to do.

Father! What can you mean?

Well, I mean this.

At 4:00 this afternoon,
you will all be in the drawing room.

There we shall entertain the staff to tea.

The entire staff.

You will treat them all as your equals.

I, for one, refuse to have any part of it.

Have you forgotten, Father,
that George is coming to tea?

Mary, I order you to be present.

All I can say, Father,
is if my life has to be ruined,

I should have preferred
to have done it myself.

Well, I can't be there.

Ernest Woolley's taking me
to London in his new motorcar.

- At 4:00, Catherine.
- Father, how can we?

I said, 4:00.

[sighs]

But, Father, I was...

[sniffles, sobs]

Oh, they'll get used to the idea.

I sincerely hope not, my lord.

Oh, none of that now.

Surely you don't object to
meeting me as man to man.

Haven't I always treated you
as a human being?

Most certainly not, my lord.

Your treatment of me has
always been as it should be.

Well, that's enough.

This afternoon at 4:00
you will be my equal.

I'll soon show you whether
you're my equal or not.

- Almighty...
- You do as you're told.

Very well, my lord.

The entire outdoor staff
will also be present,

but I shall speak to them later.

Your order of entry will be
posted on the notice board

outside my sitting room after luncheon.

That is all.

Now, have we any questions?

We aren't going to be asked to sit down,
are we, Mister Crichton?

You most certainly are, Mabel.

And not, you will remember,
on the edge of the chair.

You will all seat yourselves
firmly in the center of it.

Oh, I shall die, I know I shall.

You will do no such thing, Eliza,

not at any rate
until you have left the room.

[sighs]

It'll be a bit of a lark, I reckon.

We'll have a real good blowout.

All friends together, eh, Crichton?

[woman gasps]

Did I hear you call me "Crichton"?

[stammering] Yes, sir.

In 10 to 15 years' time,

you might have reached
a position in which you could

address me as Mister Crichton.

Never in any circumstances whatsoever
would you be entitled to call me Crichton.

There's a train at 12:30.

Pack your bags.

Right. About your duties.

And remember, no gossiping above stairs.

I apologize for that boy's behavior,
Mister Crichton.

You look pale, Mrs. Perkins.

Do you wonder?

- Small glass of port, perhaps?
- Oh, thank you.

[crowd protesting]

Oh, Ernest, isn't it exciting?

Better than your father's
tea party, right?

Oh, if only we weren't just looking on.

What? Oh, now, steady on, old girl.

[all chanting] We want to vote!

Oh, no! They mustn't!

[crowd protesting]

Catherine! Catherine!

[thuds]

How dare you!

[shrieking] Let me go!

[wailing] Oh!

Mrs. Perkins.

Ah, Mrs. Perkins.

Delighted.

Mary, this is our dear Mrs. Perkins.

How do you do?

Pleased, I'm sure.

Brocklehurst, our valued Mrs. Perkins.

-[Crichton] Monsieur Fleury.
- Oh.

Forgive me.

Won't you sit down?

[Loam] My dear fellow,
I'm charmed to see you.

I'll bring you some tea.

Come along now.
I want to hear all about your puddings.

Thank you very much.

Mister Rolleston. Hmm?

[host] Oh, Treherne,
come and look after Mister Rolleston.

And who is Mister Rolleston?

Father's valet.

How do you do, Mister Rolleston?

[inhales deeply] Yes, this is, uh,

an unexpected pleasure.

This sort of thing is utterly opposed
to all my principles.

It's the same for all of us, Brocky.

And please don't call me Brocky.
You know I detest it.

Brocky, dear,
if you're going to marry Mary...

My engagement to Mary
has yet to be announced.

[Crichton] Miss Fisher.

By Jove!

I'm charmed to see you, Miss Fisher.

Do come and sit down, won't you?

Now tell me, what do you do?

Uh, in the house, I mean?

- Ah, Mary, tea for two.
-[Crichton] Mister Lovegrove.

Ah, Lovegrove.

[both chuckle]

How are all your family?

Ah! Same to you, my lord.

And how's your wife? Blooming?

Blooming?

First thing this morning.

- Opened out a fair treat she did.
- Huh?

Bright purple with deep yellow spots,
she is.

- Good Lord!
-'Course she won't last.

No, she'll be dead by Monday.

That's the trouble with orchids, my lord.
They won't last.

Orchids?

Oh, yes. Yes, of course. [chuckles]
Come and have some tea.

Jane, Gladys, Rose.

Mary, take the girls a cup of tea.

- Father, I...
- Mary.

- Tea, Crichton?
- No, no. Allow me, my lady.

This must be all most distasteful
to you, Crichton.

I'm ashamed to be seen
speaking to you, my lady.

Now, now, Crichton, none of that.

We're all on equal terms today, you know?

Now, is everyone here?
All but the odds and ends, my lord.

I want everybody.

- Not the Tweeny?
- Everybody.

Very well, my lord.

Eliza!

Keep still, girl.

Oh, I'm so happy to see you...

- Eliza, my lord.
- Eliza.

My daughter, Mary.

I... Ahem.
Now come along and meet the others.

I think I'll be all right here,
thank you, my lord.

You must do as you're told, Eliza.

Come along, now.
Mary, you're neglecting your guests.

Have you been to the opera lately?

[shakily] Uh, uh...

Well, uh, what sort of weather
have you been having in the kitchen?

-[stammering]
- For heaven's sake, woman, be articulate.

Forgive me, my lord.
Lady Mary wishes to speak with you.

Eh? Oh, thank you, Crichton.

Come, Eliza.

Oh, Mister Crichton.
I think you're wonderful.

- You won't leave me, will you?
- No, I won't leave you.

Have a crumpet. Enjoy yourself.

Oh, it's too much.

It didn't seem too much
when you were entertaining Fisher.

Oh, I say, Mary, old girl,
that's not fair.

At any rate,
thank heavens Mother hasn't arrived yet.

Your thanks are rather premature, George.

- What?
- Henry!

My dear Emily.
What has happened to your staff?

Your front door was opened
to me by a stable boy.

[chuckling] Nice lad.

Uh, you're just in time
to meet some of my friends.

Now, let me see. Oh, yes.

- You remember Thomas, Emily?
- Charmed.

Monte Carlo, was it?

No, Fenway Hall.

Oh, poor little Cynthia's coming out ball.

That was before I came to His Lordship.

His Lordship?

Of course, I was only
the under footman then.

- An under footman?
-[phone ringing]

You see she'll never allow
our engagement now.

Oh, this is frightful.

This is Loam Hall.

Oh, yes, sir. This is Crichton speaking.

Who is it, Crichton?

- It's Mister Woolley, my lady.
- All right, Crichton. I'll speak to him.

Very well, my lady.

Ernest? Well, where's Catherine?

Where?

Ernest, have you been drinking?

Father!

He says Catherine's been arrested.

Arrested?

- Woolley? [stammering] Now, what...
-[Ernest, indistinct]

- What?
-[Ernest] Your daughter has been arrested!

Great Scott!

- Good heavens, I don't believe it!
-[Ernest, indistinct]

Yes, yes, of course. Good-bye.

A suffragette!

My daughter arrested as a suffragette!

That's what comes of
all this darned equality!

[claps hands]

Is this a madhouse, Henry?
You hobnob with servants.

You introduce me to a footman.

Is it any wonder that your daughter
lands in jail? George.

[bell ringing]

[knocking]

Come in.

My lord, I noticed you were still awake,

so I took the liberty of bringing you
a cup of hot chocolate.

Oh, thank you, Crichton.

Very considerate of you.

Oh...

[clears throat] With respect, my lord,

I've been giving a great deal of thought
to Your Lordship's predicament.

Oh?

Might I suggest that in six months' time,

this unfortunate occurrence
will have been forgotten?

Well, what about it?

It'll be six months of misery.

If you are still here, my lord.

You mean, run away?

I had thought a breath
of sea air, perhaps?

Oh, yes, the yacht. The steam yacht.

[chuckles] My dear Crichton,
you're a genius.

The Mediterranean, eh?

Somewhat crowded
at this time of the year, my lord.

Oh, all right. Well, the West Indies?

A little further, perhaps?

- South Seas?
- A happy choice.

And might I suggest further, my lord,

that the two young gentlemen
be asked to accompany you?

Young Woolley, you mean,
and that parson fellow?

Indeed, my lord.

What about Brocklehurst?

Well, I hardly think that
Lady Brocklehurst will allow...

No. No, no. She won't, will she?

[chuckles] Splendid.

Yes. Now about staff.

Damned incompetent last trip.

Now, if you would consider
coming yourself this time...

Well, under the circumstances...

Thank you, Crichton. Thank you.

- And Crichton...
- My lord?

Are you a good sailor?

I'm a firm believer
in the triumph of mind over matter.

- What's the ship's head?
- Due north, sir.

Steady on that course.

What!

Oh, I'm sorry, my lord!

Inclement weather, my lord.

A cup of tea?

No. Bring me a bowl.

A bowl of what, my lord?

- Just a bowl, a large bowl.
- Very good.

And, Crichton, you tell that idiotic
skipper to stop rocking the boat

or I'll give him his notice.

[groans]

[accordion music playing]

Ah, Crichton, you really are a paragon.
Ice cold, of course.

I trust you will find it so, sir.

- Mmm, nectar.
- Thank you, sir.

It'll be hotter tomorrow.

We're very near the equator,
aren't we, Crichton?

- Some 20 degrees north of it, my lord.
- Oh?

Our present latitude coincides
with that of the Hawaiian Islands,

which lie some 400 miles to the eastward.

Oh. Thank you, Crichton.

Isn't he wonderful, Ernest?
He knows everything.

Except how to keep cool, eh, Crichton?

Why not design yourself
a tropical outfit, Crichton?

Something with an open neck
and short sleeves, eh?

And the Tweeny, too.

A few beads and a grass skirt.

Be rather fetching, what?

[chuckles] Yes. Indeed, yes, sir.
Very amusing.

- Now, really, Ernest.
-[bell ringing]

Do you find it amusing, Crichton?

- No, my lady.
- Then why did you say so?

Mister Woolley is the
second son of a peer.

A cooling drink, my lady.

Thank you.

Crichton?

What sort of a man are you?

A sort of a man?

Are you ambitious?

Ambitious for what?

To better yourself?

My lady! I am the son of a butler
and a lady's maid,

the happiest of all combinations.

To me, the most beautiful thing
in the world

is the haughty aristocratic English home
with everyone kept in his place.

- That's not how my father would have it.
- Indeed he would not, my lady.

-[accordion music resumes]
- He would have equality for all.

But what good would that do?

Any satisfaction I might
derive from being your equal

would be ruined
by the footman being equal to me.

Yes, I see.

- It wouldn't work, would it?
- In no circumstances, my lady.

In no circumstances whatever.

No.

- Well, thank you, Crichton.
- Thank you, my lady.

- Here, Mister Crichton.
- Eliza? What are you doing here?

You know very well
this deck is out of bounds.

I'm sorry, sir.

[sighs]

- Ain't the moonlight lovely?
- Isn't, Eliza.

- Isn't.
- Isn't.

Beads and a grass skirt.

- Eh?
-[chuckles]

Have you ever been kissed, Eliza?

Kissed?

Oh, no, Mister Crichton, I haven't.

The first kiss is of paramount importance.

Yes, Mister Crichton.

It should be the correct mixture
of delicacy and passion.

Yes, Mister Crichton.

Designed neither to over-excite nor repel.

Yes, Mister Crichton.

Oh, Mister Crichton!

[thunderclap]

Mister Spooner,
order the passengers below.

See that all's secure on deck.

Aye, aye, sir.

[wind howling]

His Lordship's compliments, Captain.

Yes, yes, I know.

But I can't.

This is a ship,
not a blooming country mansion,

and in a storm it rocks about.

Quite so, sir.

If it'll cheer him up, you can tell him
we're running before the wind

and 200 miles off course.

Very good, Captain.

We shall, I take it, weather the storm?

There's no reason why we shouldn't,
unless the engines blow up.

[loud bang]

[steam whistling]

Like that, you mean.

Like that.

[wind howling]

[bell ringing]

Captain's orders.
All passengers to boat stations.

Come on, Mister Woolley. This way.

-[all clamoring]
-[bell ringing]

[woman screams]

Don't panic.
Get to a boat and don't gripe.

[shouting]

-[bell ringing continues]
-[all clamoring]

Hurry, my lady, hurry!

Come in!

Well, really, Crichton, this is a fine
time of night to be shipwrecked.

Hurry, my lord.
There's a distinct list to port.

And where's Rolleston?

I refuse to leave this ship
without my shoes.

[thunderclap]

Oh! Oh, dear!

Abandon ship!

Take to the boats!

There's no need to panic, Crichton.
Don't panic.

[wind howling]

[all chattering]

Where's the Tweeny?

Never mind her. Get in, quick!

Come on, hurry!

[shouting]

- Lower the boat.
- Can't, sir.

Waiting for the captain's orders.

I own this ship. Do as you're told.

[all screaming]

Eliza?

Come on, Eliza, wake up.

-[Eliza groaning]
- Quickly.

Oh, Mister Crichton!

Not now, Eliza, not now.

- Oh, Mister Crichton!
- Never mind that now.

- Come on, quickly.
- What happened?

- Get to a boat station.
-[Eliza exclaiming]

All away!

- Wait there, Eliza.
- Yes, Mister Crichton!

The boats have all gone.
We'll have to jump for it.

But I can't swim, Mister Crichton!

I'll look after you. Come on.

Jump!

Help, Mister Crichton!

Come on, Eliza. Keep your head up.

-[Eliza groans]
- Come on.

There's a brilliant pull.

Keep going.

Hang on. Oh, hang on.

I've got you, Ernest. That's right.
Now haul him aboard.

Haul him up, Ernest.
Come on, we've got you.

- Steady.
- Pull! Pull!

Pull! I've got one.

[all chattering]

Well, Crichton, what's going on?

What in heaven's name
were you doing in the water?

I beg your pardon, my lord.

I was unexpectedly delayed.

In any case, you should be
in the staff boat, not with us.

I'm very sorry, sir.

- Shall I withdraw, my lord?
- Don't be an ass, Crichton. Sit down.

All right, row away.

Ouch!

Has anyone got any nail scissors?

Oh! Come on. Go on.

- Any sign of anything, Crichton?
- No, sir.

We appear to be alone.

Well, where the blazes
are the other boats?

I fear we drifted apart
during the night, my lord.

If indeed we are not the sole survivors.

Well, it's a lovely afternoon, anyway.

Crichton, who is this person?

Her name is Eliza, my lady.

And what is her position in the household?

I'm the Tweeny, Your Ladyship.

The what?

A between maid, my lady.

That is to say, she is not,
strictly speaking, at the moment anything.

Are we to understand
you two are keeping company?

Oh, my lady, a butler don't keep company.

Indeed.

Let us say
I have cast a favorable eye upon her.

- Land!
- Eh, what?

- Look!
- If you please, Mister John, sir.

[Loam] Is it land, Crichton?

Undoubtedly, my lord.

[Treherne]
Well, how long before we reach it?

We should be ashore before long.

Ashore?

But we can't go ashore like this.

How can we possibly meet
the governor in our condition?

My hair's a sight.

Well, what are we to wear?

Are we to stay in Government House
without a maid between us?

If I might suggest, my lady,
as a temporary expedient...

- What?
- Oh, Mister Crichton, I couldn't.

Her manners, as you may have observed,
are deplorable,

but she has a homely
appearance and a heart of gold.

Possibly. But I'm afraid she will not do.

- Quite impossible.
- Quite.

Well, what do you see?

Palm trees, my lord.

White sands and palm trees.

I'm afraid that's as far as it will go,
my lord.

Where is everyone?

They must have seen us drifting in.

I say, how do we get out?

May I suggest, sir,
that the gentlemen carry the ladies?

Huh?

Oh, yes, of course,
that's a splendid idea.

Ernest? Well, don't rush it, old chap.

I say, it's beautifully warm.

Lovely spot for bathing, isn't it?

Right-o, Cathy, old girl, come to daddy!

Come on, then.

- There we go.
- Come, Agatha.

- Crichton.
- My lady.

I beg your pardon, my lady.

Coming for a paddle, sir?

- Is it stony?
- No, I don't think so, sir.

Well, thank heaven for that.

Come, Eliza.

Oh, Mister Crichton,
I can get out by meself.

Come along.

[nervous chuckle]

Now then, the first thing
is to discover where we are.

- Crichton.
-[Crichton] My lord!

Locate the nearest town or village,

find some transport
and bring it back with you.

Very good, my lord.

May I mention the boat?

Eh? Yes, yes. I'll see to that.

Now then, you two bring her in
and tie her up to something.

All right, sir.

Now then, Crichton, get along with you.

Here, this one will do.

Have you got enough string?

There we are.

- Splendid.
- Rather good.

Look out, you idiots!

The boat!

[monkey chittering]

[monkey chittering]

[birds chirping]

Girl!

Me, Your Ladyship?

Come here.

If you are going to be our maid,
you may as well make yourself useful.

Are your hands clean?

Very well, you may curl my hair.

Well, I'll do my best, Your Ladyship.

Tied it to a turtle.

- Of all the darned...
- Oh, I say, sir, don't go on about it.

Do you realize it may be hours
before we're picked up?

Not hours, sir, surely.

We may even have to stay here all night.

All night!

My lord!

- Huh?
- The boat!

[Treherne] Oh, we know about that.
Uh, Ernest...

I tied it to a turtle.

Never mind about the boat.

Did you find the town?

- No, my lord.
- Eh?

There is no town.

Well, don't be absurd, Crichton.

We're on an island, an uninhabited island.

You mean, there's no one here at all?

There are birds, animals,

possibly reptiles, but that is all.

We are alone.

Well, what are we going to do?
We can't just stay here.

It'll be dark soon.

John!

Crichton, what are...

Father, you are the head of the family.

You must give the orders.

Orders, my dear?

If we've got to stay here,
something must be arranged

about food and sleeping accommodations.

Yes, yes, yes. All right.

Uh, now let's get into the shade,
and then we must find some food.

There must be some berries or something.

Come on.

Go along, Eliza. Go along.

Are you quite sure there's nobody else
on the island?

Quite sure, my lady.

How long do you think it'll be
before we're rescued?

We were driven far off our course,

many miles from
the regular shipping routes.

I see.

Thank you.

My lady.

Don't give up.

How dare you, Crichton!

The darn thing won't catch.

Who told you about this, Woolley?

I read it somewhere.
It takes time, you know.

The sun will be down in another hour.

Phew! This is exhausting. [pants]
Are you sure it can be done, old man?

Oh, yes, it's the friction that does it.

Well, that's what the book says.

I'd like to meet the author.

It'll be dark soon
and we must have a fire.

- Do you suppose there are snakes?
- Oh, don't.

Waste of time.

Will you allow me, please, gentlemen?

Would you mind clearing the sun,
please, sir?

Dry grass, Eliza.

Your spectacles, my lord.

There you are. I told you. Simple.

Yes, sir. When you know how.

Shall I prepare the sleeping quarters
now, my lord?

Yes, yes, if you would.

Thank you, Crichton.

You comfortable?

Oh, it's a lovely bed.

I think you're wonderful, Mister Crichton.

You're a good little soul, Eliza.

I'm not half hungry, sir.

Not half?

Oh, Lord, I'm at it again.

It's all right.

No, it's no good.

I'm just a common bit of rubbish.

I use all the wrong words, don't I?

I try not to,
especially when you're around.

I shouldn't worry about it.

The trouble is, I like 'em.

I gloat over them when I'm by meself.

"Blimey," I says, and "Cor lumme!"
[chuckles]

And "not half."

Do you know what?

All the time we was getting wrecked,
I was praying to meself.

Oh, Lord, let it be an island
where it's natural to be vulgar on.

That's the sort I am, sir.

I... I'd best give me up if I was you.

I won't give you up, Eliza.

We'll fight your vulgarity together.

[sighs] Cor.

There ain't never been
no one like you, ever.

Yes, well, you better lie down
and get some sleep.

Mister Crichton?

It is safe here, ain't it?

We won't all get eaten alive
in our beds, will we?

[laughs] Don't you worry, Eliza.

I'll be keeping watch.

Uh, clement weather, my lord.

What's that?

Uh, coconut.

Revolting.

A windfall, I'm afraid, my lord.

Later on we may hope for fresher fruit.

Nothing to drink?

I have located a fresh water spring
some distance along the beach.

Oh. Where's the, uh...

- Uh, follow me, my lord.
- Oh.

Oh.

[laughing]

- Stop splashing!
-[laughing continues]

[Treherne]
Are you sure this is the right way?

[Ernest] I'm positive, my dear chap.

I can see all sorts of fish.

Look!

Ernest! John!

[all screaming]

[grunting]

It's no use. The darn thing's too tight.

I'm very sorry, my lord.

I have a small foot.

Oh. Well, this is
a pretty kettle of fish, Crichton.

We can survive, my lord.

You think so?

Others have, with courage
and good leadership.

Without adequate food or shelter?

We shall have both before long.

Well, I don't see
how you're going to manage it.

I'm not the only man in the party.

Well, how do you think I'm going to get
Treherne and Woolley to work?

- If I might suggest it, my lord...
- Eh?

"No work, no dinner."

And what about us, Crichton?

Are my sisters and I included
in your curious rule?

Not my rules, my lady.

Fate makes its own rules.

So the perfect servant at home now
considers that we're all equal.

Most certainly not, my lady.

I have always maintained
that in all circumstances,

there must be one to command
and others to obey.

No work, no dinner, eh?

Well, it's worth trying.

I ask you, what good is it
without matches?

By the time we get it going,
the ship would be out of sight.

If a ship ever comes.

That fellow Crichton,
he's getting too big for his boots.

I wish he were, then I could have 'em.

[Ernest] It's a ship!

John, it's a ship!
It's a ship. We're saved!

It's coming in. Light the beacon.

- Go tell the others.
- No! Not that way, this way!

Yeah, sorry, sorry.

[all clamoring]

It's the yacht! It's our yacht.

Well, what in heaven's name
is it doing here?

It's going to hit the rocks.

[crashing]

Oh!

That damned skipper. The lunatic!

Call that navigation?
I'll have him in jail.

Sir, the skipper isn't aboard.

There's nobody aboard.

- What?
- Well, we abandoned her.

She's going down.

Oh, I can't look.

[Loam] Our last hope gone.

We'd better get back to the camp.

Crichton!

Have you gone mad?

Go and make yourself decent at once.

I beg your pardon, my lord,

but I must get out to the wreck before
she sinks any further.

Can anyone else swim?

Good lord, no. Not a stroke.

I can, a little.
I might be able to get there.

Well, we won't risk it this time, my lady.

Here, Mister Crichton, you be careful!

What...

What an extraordinary fellow he is.

I wouldn't mind wagering he'll get there.

Go, Mister Crichton! You can do it!

[distant cheering]

Hooray! Hooray!

[Loam] Well done, Crichton.

Don't he look lovely?

Oh, don't he.

That'll do, gentlemen, thank you.

She seems to be holding well, my lord.

We should salvage a great deal.

Uh, congratulations, my dear fellow.

Splendid effort.

You, uh, didn't find my cigars,
by any chance?

I didn't look for them.

Gentlemen, would you mind
giving me a hand, please?

I want to get out to her again
before the tide rises.

[Mary] Crichton!

My lady?

I suppose you didn't bring us any clothes.

No.

But needles and thread.

You'll find them useful.

Your slippers, I believe, Eliza.

Oh, thank you, Mister Crichton.

Would you mind lending
a helping hand, my lord?

Crichton! Wait.

Father, axes and lanterns
are all very well,

but I insist upon Crichton bringing us
some reasonable clothing.

Hear, hear.

I don't see why we shouldn't have some
sheets and pillowcases for our beds.

Table linen, too.

Yes. And what about a dinner service, eh?

Well, uh...

[Mary] Father, you're in charge here.

Well, my lord?

Well, uh, do as they say
and get what you can.

Very good.

Well, what's that meant to be?

Coconut, my lord.

But we had coconut for lunch, damn it.

And for breakfast.

But this is diced.

At luncheon, you'll remember,
it was shredded.

But you must have found
some food on the yacht, Crichton.

I brought back what
I was instructed to, sir.

Crichton, you forget yourself.

Do I, my lady?

What's this?

Are you questioning my orders, Crichton?

My lord, we're not in England now.

We're on a desolate island,
hundreds of miles from anywhere,

and if we're not very careful,

we're all going to die on it.

Well, that's no concern of yours.

From now on, I shall give the orders
and you will obey them.

With the deepest respect, my lord, no.

What did you say?

I said "No," my lord.

Oh, did you?

Well, you can take a month's wages
in lieu of notice,

and don't come to me for a reference.

My lady, you cannot manage
on your own, none of you can.

You flatter yourself, Crichton.

[Loam] That's all. You can go.

Very well, my lord.

If he goes, I'm going too.

- Don't be stupid, girl.
- I mean it.

You must stay here, Eliza.

What, with this lot? Not blooming likely!

- If she goes, who's going to...
- Agatha!

Well, what are you waiting for?

Your pardon, my lady.

Well, I suppose
we'd better get on with dinner.

Mister Crichton!

[groaning]

Finished!

[pig squealing]

[Ernest] Look out! [exclaims]

Oh!

Really, Ernest.

[sobbing]

No fire,

no shelter, and coconut.

Well, what is it?

I can smell something.

So can I.

Cooking!

By heaven! It's roast pork!

It's coming from over there.

- It's coming from the bay.
- Come on.

It's coming from over there.

[Loam, indistinct]

Pork chops. They've got pork chops.

And onions.

Oh, I can't bear it. I'm going down.

Father, if you do,
I'll never speak to you again.

But, Mary, pork chops.

[inaudible]

My lady, won't you come down?

And admit that you've won?

I'd rather die first.

Eliza, one pork chop between two.

Yes, Mister Crichton.

[gasps]

[Mary gasping]

[grunts]

Oh, Crichton!

Crichton! Help!

Crichton! [gasping]

Keep swimming, my lady.
You're doing splendidly.

No, I can't, I can't!

Yes, you can. Go on now, swim!

Oh, Crichton, you beast!

- Upsy-daisy!
-[shouts]

-[Crichton whoops] Temper!
-[gasping]

Now then, my lady, not much further.
Gently does it.

Oh, I'll never forgive you for this.

- Never!
- Don't talk, swim!

[sputtering]

[Crichton] Keep your chin up.

That's better. Keep...

There you are.

You never know what you can do
till you try.

Here you are, my lady, drink this.

This'll warm you up.

[coughs]

Oh!

I might have drowned.

And you'd have let me.

Would I? I wonder.

What did you come out here for anyway?

Oh, it doesn't matter.

Well, I'm just curious.

It's a long way for scented soap
and silk stockings.

I wanted some food,

and something warm to wear...

and a pair of shoes.

No shoes, I'm afraid.

Your cabin's underwater.

You did try then?

Well, of course I did.

Thank you.

It's all right, my lady.

You're learning quickly.

I'll try and find you something else.

No!

Crichton! Crichton! Come back, Crichton!

Oh, Crichton!

Dear Crichton!

There we are. Try this for size.

Oh, Crichton! [sobbing]

It's all right, my lady, it's all right.

[indistinct]

[sobbing continues]

My friends, it is now nearly two years

since we received the woeful news

that the good ship Bluebell
had encountered disaster,

followed by the tragic tidings
concerning Lord Loam,

his family and others.

We give thanks that the gallant captain
and his crew and all his other passengers

were so providentially,
though tardily, rescued.

We are further honored today

by the presence amongst us
of a great lady.

The Countess of Brocklehurst
was the first to contribute

to the Loam Memorial Fund.

Indeed, so generously
that I'm happy to tell you

there was quite a little piece left over
for the organ fund.

Well, as you all know,
there were plans afoot

for Lord Loam's eldest girl
to have married my son.

Now she's at the bottom of the sea,

and he...

He is brokenhearted.

Uh, absolutely.

So, in memory to Lord Loam
and his three daughters,

the two young men
and Crichton the butler...

[whispers] And Tweeny.

Oh, very well, and another young person,

I now declare this bazaar...
I now unveil this memorial.

[band playing loudly]

- Morning, John!
- Morning, Mary!

[clears throat]

Oh.

Good morning, governor. Clement weather.

Good. Thanks, Daddy.

[clears throat]

I shall be interested
to hear what you think about that.

What is it? I like that. That's good.

Thanks, governor.
It's that new seaweed you found.

It gives it a tang.

That's it.
Well, Daddy, how are you feeling today?

Any complaints?

I walked across just now

and stood on the spot where we landed

two years ago today.

[chuckles] My goodness.

You've worked miracles, guv.

That includes giving you a waistline, eh?

- Hmm?
-[both chuckle]

[cuckoos]

Oh, I'm afraid I've awakened you
a bit early this morning, guv.

- You ready for your bath?
- Yes, right away.

Oh, I've, uh...
I've put a new shell in your razor.

Good. Thank you.

[singing up-tempo tune]

[blowing]

[humming]

[water bubbling]

- Hello, guv.
- Good morning, guv.

[Crichton] Morning, girls.

What's all this?

- Happy second anniversary, guv.
- Ah!

With our love.

Bless your hearts.

- From the top orchard?
- Mmm-hmm.

Should be a good crop this year.

I'm not surprised,
all the work you've put in.

How's the barley coming along?

We should harvest it next week.

Good. I'm planning
the new work schedule today.

I say, Agatha,
that's a smart outfit you've got on.

- Like it?
- Mmm, it's delightful.

I designed it myself.

A bit on the short side though, isn't it?

You'll be giving the men ideas.

You think so? [chuckles]

I think you both look charming.

In fact, if I had to choose...

Breakfast won't be long, guv.

Thanks, Daddy.

All right, girls, back to work.

- Oh.
- Oh, gosh.

Mary's late. I'm sorry.

Oh, that's all right.

- I'll put these in water.
- Thank you.

There you are, Tweeny.
How's that for the governor's lunch?

They'll do.

Don't you dirty my floor now,
Daddy's just swept it.

All right, if I dirty it,
I'll sweep it again.

Hmm, I'd like to see you.

Oh, now, don't be beastly to me.

You know I adore you.

Oh, Ernie, shut up!

Tweeny...

I've been meaning
to say this for a long time.

It's so difficult to get you on your own.

Oh, do mind out, Ernie. Look, I'm cooking.

Tweeny, I...

I know I was a complete ass
when you first knew me.

I suppose I'm no great shakes even now.

Oh, Ernie.

Well, there's a perfect site
for a bungalow down by Porcupine Creek,

and I'd build it just
the way you wanted it,

and I'm jolly good at making furniture.

And I do love you so very much,
Tweeny, darling.

Oh, I've forgotten the...

Ernie, are you asking me
to walk out with you?

Oh, Tweeny, if only you would.

But what about Catherine?

Oh, Cathy's all right,
but she's not in your class.

Besides...

Besides what?

Well, she's got her eye on the guv.

Oh, has she!

Well, she can take it off again.

I see.

I'm sorry, Ernie, that's the way it is.

Hmm, that's all right.

Has he said anything?

Well, not yet.

But he will.

At least...

Oh, don't keep on so.

- Hmm?
- Oh, get out!

Oh, guv...

Please choose me.

Hello, guv.

Hello, Mary!

Hello!

[whistling]

Morning, Tweeny.

[Eliza] I can't abide a lady who whistles.

[Mary] Oh, well,
I'm as good as you are. Here!

What's all this?
I'm breakfast orderly this morning.

Well, you should have
been there to cook it.

- Well, anyway, I'm serving it.
- Oh, Mary!

Oh, come on.

[groans]

I got you a bird for lunch.

Wonderful. Well done, Mary.

I was after a deer, but no luck.

- Guv...
- Yes?

It's months since
we've had a day out together.

Why don't you come deer hunting
with me sometime?

Oh, might find meself
chasing the wrong deer.

[chuckles] I don't think you would.

I wonder.

You know, Mary, you're a very pretty girl.

- Have you got any followers on the island?
- Huh! Certainly not.

I thought perhaps John or Ernest
might be interested.

Well, I'm not interested in them.

[Crichton] Hmm.

How's the boat-building
going down at the creek?

I don't know.
I haven't thought much about it.

Neither has anybody else.

I shall have to talk to them about that.

- Will you warn them?
- Mmm-hmm.

Did Ernest catch this fish?

Yes, how did you know?

I thought so. He's left the hook in again.

[both laughing]

[Eliza] Come on! No! [Ernest] No!

Oh! [laughing]

[Eliza] Hey, come on, old...
[Ernest] Come on. No!

All right, everybody!

I want to talk to you for a while.

Well, you probably know why I'm here.

I've been looking at the progress report.

Well, we're doing our best, guv.

I mean, with all our other duties.

Now, John, I don't want any vague excuses.

What, are you suggesting we're slacking?

I'm not suggesting it.
I'm telling you, you are.

Don't you believe you can build this boat?

We've been on this island for two years.

Two whole years today.

Do you want to be here
for three years, four, five?

Cut off from civilization?

Living like a lot of savages?

Is that all you want?

What else should we want?

You must want to get home.

That's why I designed this boat,
to get away from here.

To get us all back to England,
where we belong.

Do you want to go back, guv?

Well, of course I do.

Of course I do.

It's my duty to get you back,
and you're going.

To work.

On the terrace at Government House
this evening!

An anniversary dinner!

May I have the pleasure of your company?

[all] Yes!

[Crichton] Oysters will be served!

[all cheering]

And Mary, roast venison?

- Right, guv!
-[all cheering]

[both vocalizing]

Well done, John.

- You know something?
- Huh?

- The guv doesn't want to go either.
- I know.

For two pins
he'd call the whole thing off.

Well, then we could get on with life.

Dash it all, I...

I want to get married and settle down.

Oh? Who to?

Well, Tweeny, of course.
I'm mad about her.

Oh.

Yes, but she's in love
with the governor, old man.

I know she is.

Oh, they all are. No, we none of us can
make any plans till he's made his choice.

You're thinking of Agatha, of course.

Well, no, no. Actually, I wasn't, but...

You mean you're after Tweeny too?

Well, I'm awfully sorry, old man, but...

Well, she's such a glorious creature.

Well, you two seem to forget that Tweeny's
the only one of them that I can marry.

Of course, if the governor chooses Mary...

Well, you're her father.
Couldn't you have a word with him?

Sort of urge him on a bit?

I?

What? Interfere in
the governor's private affairs?

No, of course not. No, no.

We'll just have to wait and...

hope for the best.

[gasping]

Where did you dive from?

Up there.

Mary, that's too high.
You might have hit the bottom.

Well, I didn't.

- Well, you're not to do it again.
- Is that an order?

No, I'm just asking you not to.
That's all.

Is something the matter?

Mary, I don't want to leave this island
any more than you do.

I know you don't.

I'm so happy here.

I've never been happier in my life.

How long will it last?

Why shouldn't it last?

We're eight human beings.
And very ordinary human beings at that.

- You're not ordinary, guv.
- Oh, yes, I am.

I know you call me the governor
and leave me with all the decisions.

Because you're best qualified
to make them.

But when it comes to something really big,

I'm beaten.

Because I'm afraid.

You afraid? But... what of?

That I'll lose you.

Well, what do you say about that?

If that's all you're afraid of,
guv, darling...

Let's stay.

Oh, guv.

What about Tweeny?

That was a long time ago.

I don't want her to be hurt.

Oh, don't you worry about Tweeny.
I'll look after her.

Come on. Let's get some more oysters.

- I've just thought...
- I don't even know your name.

- It's Bill.
- Bill.

[singing] ... wheeled her wheelbarrow

Through streets broad and narrow

Singing "Cockles and mussels

Alive alive O!

Alive alive O!"

You know, the way that sand gets under
the governor's bed,

I mightn't have scrubbed that floor
all week.

- Poor Daddy!
- Do you want any help?

Here.

[chuckles] Dear Daddy.

You're not much help really,

but you're a nice, cheerful old thing
to have around the place.

Am I? [chuckles]

Well, so long as I'm of some use.

Daddy, that boat...

Don't you really want to finish it?

Why should I?

Well... Well, you've got so much
back there.

Making speeches in Parliament,

a fine house, lovely clothes.

- Plenty of money...
- Yes, I know.

There are moments when...

London.

I do miss London, once in a while.

Walking down Piccadilly...

strolling through Hyde Park.

The barrel organ outside the pub.

The lights along the embankment.

Hampstead Heath on a bank holiday.

Supper at Romano's.

Champagne.

There was a little ham and beef shop
down the Old Kent Road.

[sighs]

I wonder what would happen
if one day we saw a ship out there.

Well, the beacon's still on
the hilltop waiting to be lit.

Would you light it?

Which just goes to show
what a sensible couple we are.

[chuckles]

- I say, Tweeny...
- Hmm?

I know I'm not as young as I was...

Three grown-up daughters.

That's the trouble, really.

You're the only woman on the island who...

Who... Well...

See what I mean?

Oh, Daddy...

Oh, I... I know about the governor.

Well, if he chose one of the others...

I'm only second-best, I know, but...

Well, I'd work hard and...

Please, Daddy. Thank you.

You're so sweet and kind
and everything, but...

I know. It's all right. [chuckles]

I'm old enough to know better.

[Crichton] Where is everybody?

- Oh, the guv's back.
- Oh.

I haven't pressed his trousers.

Hello, guv!

Here you are. Oysters.

- Enough for everyone.
- I'll get Daddy to open them.

Got everything you want for the party?

- I think so, guv.
- Good.

Oh, Tweeny, a lot's happened
in the past two years, hasn't it?

Yes, it has.

We've changed, all of us.

We're quite different people.

- I suppose we are.
- Why, take you, for example.

You're as good as any of the others now.

And better than some.

- Am I?
-[chuckles] Oh...

Tweeny, I'm going to make
an announcement at the party tonight...

about myself and Mary.

I'm going to announce our engagement.

You and Mary?

Engaged?

Well, I'm jiggered.

- You don't mind, Tweeny?
- Me? Why should I mind?

Well, I don't know.
But two years ago, I thought...

Oh, that.

I was just a silly kid then. That was...

That was just hero worship,
that's all that was.

Oh, I see.

Anyway, you are the governor.

You had to have first pick, didn't you?

And it's about time too, I must say.

Now we can all stop this fidgeting and...

And get on.

I'm sorry if I made things
difficult for you.

Oh, no, you haven't. Not for me.

Besides, I don't like a fellow drooling
around me all day.

Not that I couldn't have, if I wanted.

As a matter of fact,
I've had two offers only today.

Well, that's all right then.

Well, yes it is.

Well, I can't stay here
gossiping all day, I've...

I've got work to do.

[all singing]
On the island she reigned as queen

One day a stranger appeared on the scene

Said he, "Don't waste your time

Out in this awful clime

But come with me, my pretty southern maid

To my home across the sea"

But he went very red

When she turned up her nose and said

"I wouldn't leave
My little wooden hut for you

I've got one lover and I don't want two

What might happen there is no knowing

If he comes round
So you'd better be going

'Cause I wouldn't leave
My little wooden hut for you"

[all cheering]

[Agatha] A toast to the governor!

- Uh, hear, hear!
- Oh, no!

To you, guv.

And thank you for teaching us all
the meaning of the word happiness.

- Oh.
- To your very good health, governor.

- Hear!
- To the guv!

Bless you. Thank you.

[Loam] Ah, speech. Speech!

- No, I can't. I--
-[all] Speech, speech.

Well, I can only say
that if I have been the teacher,

you as the pupils can all
go to the top of the class.

[all laughing]

These past two years have been
a wonderful experience for me.

If we're going to stay here, and judging
from your efforts as boat builders,

- I strongly suspect that we are...
- Okay.

Then we've got to make some pretty
permanent plans for the future.

Well, I'd like to start tonight with
a little plan of my own.

- Daddy...
- Uh-huh?

Oh, it's no good.

I can't be formal about this.

Mary and I have decided
we'd like to get married.

May we have your consent,
and I hope your blessing?

My dear guv.

May you?
But of course. I'm deeply honored.

- Jolly good, guv.
- Thank you. Thank you, Ernest.

You've broken my heart, guv,
but I hope you'll be very happy.

[Agatha] Can we be bridesmaids?
I order you to be.

John, you will marry us, I suppose.

Oh, with the greatest of pleasure, guv.

Uh, you have both, I take it,

been residing in my parish
for the requisite period?

[all laughing]

Guv! Tweeny.

[all laughing]

Come on. Once again. All together.

[sobbing softly]

[all singing] "I wouldn't leave
My little wooden hut for you

I've got one lover and I don't want two

What might happen there is no knowing

If he comes round
So you'd better get going

'Cause I wouldn't leave
My little wooden hut for you"

She's late, guv.

A bride's privilege, Ernest.

["Bridal Chorus" playing]

[sobbing softly]

- Where's Tweeny?
- She said not to wait for her.

Well, then, we'll start, shall we?

Dearly beloved,
we are gathered together here

in the sight of God
and in the face of this congregation

to join together this man and this woman
in holy matrimony,

which is an honorable estate,
instituted of God

in the time of man's innocence.

William, wilt thou
have this woman to thy wedded wife,

to live together after God's ordinance
in the holy estate of matrimony?

Wilt thou love her, comfort her,
honor and keep her,

and forsaking all other,
keep thee only unto her?

I will.

[Treherne] Mary, wilt thou have this man
to thy wedded husband,

to live together after God's ordinance in
the holy estate of matrimony?

Wilt thou obey him, and serve him,
love, honor and keep him

in sickness and in health

and forsaking all other,
keep thee only unto him

so long as ye both shall live?

I will.

[Treherne] Who giveth this woman
to be married to this man?

I do.

Now repeat after me.

- I, William...
- I William...

- Take thee, Mary...
- Take thee, Mary...

- To my wedded wife.
- To my wedded wife.

- To have and to hold...
- To have and to hold...

- From this day forward...
- From this day forward...

- For better, for worse...
- For better, for worse...

- For richer, for poorer...
- For richer, for p--

A ship.

A ship! A ship!

[all shouting]

The beacon! Guv, light the beacon!

Yes, light the beacon. Go on, light it.

No! No! We don't want them.

We don't want them now, do we?

Mary, it may be our last chance.

But we're happy here. All of us, happy.

Please, please, let the ship go.

- It's all very well for you.
- England.

To see England again.

[Agatha]
It'll be too late if we don't light it.

Oh, for heaven's sake. Light the beacon.

-[all] Yes, yes, light it.
- Wait! Wait, everybody.

There's only one person
who can decide what to do.

There's only one thing we can do.

[all cheering]

[Ernest] Come on, everybody.
Down to the beach!

[all cheering]

-[Ernest] Come on, everybody. Quickly! Oi!
-[all clamoring]

[horn blaring]

Guv?

Oh, guv, why did you do it?

Did you see the look on their faces?

But it won't make any difference, will it?

We can still get married?

[voice breaking] Promise
it won't make any difference.

- You must go down to the beach, Mary.
- But, guv!

Go along, please.

[fire crackling]

[all cheering]

A miracle, my dear fellow.

An absolute miracle!

We'd given up all hope.

Now this is my eldest daughter, Mary.

Lieutenant Fortescue, my dear.

- How do you do, ma'am.
- How do you do?

Well, you certainly seem to have made
yourselves comfortable here.

Oh, yes. We soon got things organized.

[chuckles] You'll be amazed
when I show you.

But first, you must have a drink.

Splice the main brace, eh?

By Jove, why, this is a...

[crew laughing]

Look, a butler!

[laughter continues]

Uh, this is the go--
Uh, this is Crichton, my...

Well, we're saved, Crichton.
Did you hear that?

In six weeks' time
we'll be back in England.

- What do you think of that?
- Congratulations, my lord.

Well, would you care to see the...
The kitchen?

- Guv, I...
- My lady?

[horseshoes clattering]

[engine stops]

[ballroom music playing]

Oh, John, do smile. People are looking.

This ball was a terrible mistake.

Well, we had to celebrate our rescue
somehow. Everyone expected it.

If only your father could have lost
his voice or something.

Someone had to take charge, you know.

But how courageous of you.

So, I... I set them all
to work and by nightfall

we had food and water and... and a fire.

Wonderful.

All those people's lives in your hands.

- Oh, a great responsibility.
- And you shouldered it.

Well, my dear Cynthia, who else could?

- My lord.
- Huh?

- You have no champagne.
- Oh, no...

- Your Grace.
- Thank you, Crichton.

Tell me more about the tribes.

There's a review of my book
in every paper, old girl.

And they're all splendid.

They say it's the finest adventure story
they've ever read.

I'm a made man.

- Evening, Crichton.
- Good evening, sir.

Come along, Catherine.

I say, you don't think
he'll read the book, do you?

- Bound to, I should think.
- Oh, lord.

Oh, well, if you had to write it,
you should have written the truth.

Oh, don't be silly, old girl.

Anyway, he's got nearly
a whole page to himself.

Ernest! Congratulations.

I read it last night.
I couldn't put it down.

Neither could I.

The story of the tiger cat.
Poor Lord Loam!

With only a bow and arrow.

Oh, you saved his life,
there's no doubt about that.

With your bare hands too.

By Jove.

- Yes, with my bare hands, I tell you.
- Remarkable.

Oh, young Woolley would have
been a goner that day.

That must have been a very
harrowing experience.

Excuse me, sir.

For heaven's sake, Mary.
Remember where you are.

I'm sorry, Father. I... I keep forgetting.

Mary, Crichton will have to go.

- Oh, no. I--
- But it's like living on top of a volcano.

Oh, but, Father, he...
He won't say anything.

But don't you see that if he did...

You've read Ernest's book, haven't you?

Well, if he did, we'd be
the laughingstock of the whole country.

We can trust him completely.
I'm sure of it.

You don't seem to realize
the impossibility of my position.

Oh, Father.
Have you forgotten so much already?

He made us into real people.

Whatever happens, we mustn't forget that.

- Yes, yes...
- Well, I shan't.

Now then, now then,
that's no way to talk, Mary.

If you marry Brocklehurst...

He hasn't asked me yet.

[young man] Ah, Mary.

This is our dance.

[Loam] Oh, Crichton.

- Bring me a large whiskey and soda.
- Very good, my lord.

And Crichton, the island seems
a long way away now.

Indeed it does.

Like a dream. Best forgotten, eh?

I'll fetch your whiskey, my lord.

Excuse...

[chattering]

I cannot wait a moment longer, Mother.

I am consumed with passion.

Rubbish. You should take more exercise.

But you agreed I should propose tonight.

I wonder what really
happened on that island.

Well, you... You've read Woolley's book.

[scoffs] A figment of the imagination.

And if he's lying,
so I've no doubt are all the others,

especially Mary.

Yes, but, Mother, why?

My dear George,
if I'd been shipwrecked on a desert island

with two young men, I dare say
I should have lied when I got home.

- Oh, really, Mother.
- I'm determined to find out the truth.

I want everyone who was on that island
assembled in the drawing room immediately.

Including Crichton.

He won't dare to lie to me.

But, Mother,
you can't interrupt the ball...

George, go and tell them.

-[chattering continues]
-[up-tempo music playing]

[no audible dialogue]

George.

Listen whether anyone begins to answer me
with, "The fact is..."

But why, Mother?

Because that is usually
the beginning of a lie.

Emily, I object to being summoned from my
own ballroom in this peremptory fashion.

- Don't bluster, my dear Henry.
- Now, Emily...

Don't bluster.

There are certain
suspicions I wish to allay

before the announcement
of George's engagement.

[Lady Brocklehurst] Ah, Crichton. My lady.

You were one of the castaways, I believe.

I was.

Now, I want you to answer me truthfully.

I promise to do that, my lady.

-[nervous chuckle]
- Oh!

Our brilliant author.

Oh, I... I don't know.

Your book, Mister Woolley,
is as engrossing as a work of fiction.

Thanks.

Oh, the fact is...

I...

Lady Brocklehurst,

nothing whatever happened on that island
of which I am ashamed.

No?

Really, Emily, I must protest.

My dear Henry, don't be alarmed.

I only wish to discover whether the views

you used to hold on equality were
adopted on the island.

Well, Crichton, were you all equal
on the island?

No, my lady.

I can safely say there was
as little equality there as elsewhere.

Were all the social
distinctions preserved?

As at home, my lady. The servants?

They had to keep their place.

How was that managed?
You, girl, tell me that.

If you please, my lady,
it was all the guv's doing.

The guv?

In the regrettable slang
of the servant's hall, my lady,

the master is usually
referred to as the guv.

[Lady Brocklehurst laughs] Indeed?

Well, you did not take
your meals with the family?

Oh, most certainly not. I dined apart.

And you, girl, did you dine with Crichton?

Uh, naturally, the staff
sat down together.

I see.

Thank you, Crichton.

Uh, thank you, that's all.

One moment, Henry.

Young people will be young people,
even on an island, Crichton.

I suppose there was a certain amount of,
shall we say, "sentimentalizing" going on?

- Yes, my lady, there was.
- Ah.

Which gentlemen? You, girl, tell me.

Uh...

If you please, Your Ladyship.

The fact is, we didn't...

It was him, Your Ladyship. Mister Ernest.

With which lady?

Was it Lady Mary?

No, Your Ladyship.

Uh, it was...

Oh, well, I don't care
which of the others it was.

Those servants' teas that
used to take place here.

[stammers]

They did not seem natural
on the island, my lady,

and were discontinued on the guv's orders.

An excellent proof that they should never
have taken place at all.

Well, I admit it frankly,
and I abandoned them.

As a result of our experience
on the island,

I'm thinking of going over to the Tories.

Oh, congratulations, my lord.

Well, I suppose that'll do.

You're an excellent fellow, Crichton,
and if after Lady Mary and I are married

you ever wish to change your place,
you can come to us.

- No, I...
-[Lady Brocklehurst] Why not?

Can you see why not, my man?

I had not told you, my lord.
But as soon as Your Lordship is suited,

I wish to leave service.

Well, I've said all I want to say.

Let's go back to the ballroom.

Ah, splendid. Come along, Catherine.

It is our dance, Mary, I think.

Horrid of me, wasn't it, Henry?

But if an old woman
can't be disagreeable now and then,

life would be unutterably tedious.

[Crichton] Uh, you may go, Eliza.

You're leaving to save the family,
aren't you, Crichton?

Well, there are too many
Lady Brocklehursts in England.

What do you intend to do?

If I can help, you know, financially...

Oh, no, no, thank you, my lord.

I'm going to start up in business.

Whilst on the island,
I took the precaution of acquiring

a certain amount of capital.

[chuckles] Oh, guv.

Daddy.

[both laughing]

Oh.

[piano playing]

I thought you had retired, my lady.

I told Lord Brocklehurst
he must wait for his answer.

I'm sure you know best.

Oh, guv, I thought you were a fighter.

On the island...

On the island I had
tangible things to fight for.

Here, there's only civilization.

No man can fight civilization and win.

I'll fight with you.

We'd end up by fighting each other.

Let's go back, then.

- To the island?
- Yes.

I can still hear the sound of the surf.

See the curve of the bay.

No, Mary.

One can't recapture a dream.

Don't spoil it by trying to.

Oh, Bill.

Bill, I won't let you go. I won't!

Mary, you know I'm right.

No, I don't. I love you.

You love somebody you call the governor.

He doesn't exist anymore.

Now, you're Lady Mary.

And it's time you say
good night to Crichton, your butler.

No.

Come along.

- I know. You've made me a cup of tea.
- Yes, guv.

You don't mind if I call you guv.
Just for tonight, anyway.

Move up. Make room for me.

Well, it's been a bit
of an evening, eh, Eliza?

- What about that Lady Brocklehurst?
-[chuckles]

A determined woman.

How about her on the island, eh?

- Heaven forbid.
- You'd have handled her though.

Are you really going away, guv?
For good, I mean?

Yes, I'm going.

Are you going to take me?

Oh, I don't know, Tweeny.

I shall have to think about that.

After all, you're in a good position now.

A lady's maid. Your chances are good.

- And don't forget there was...
- Mary?

I've faced up to that.

Besides, that was on the island.

It's different here.

We'd do all right, you and me.
We're made for each other. Think of it.

The butler and the lady's maid.

A happy combination.

And what a chance for the children.

[laughs] Go on, run along up to bed.

Good night, guv.

God bless.

Ah, good luck, Crichton.

- Let's hear from you.
- Indeed you will.

Good-bye, my lord. Thank you.

Oh, no. Thank you, governor.

Good-bye, John.

- Good luck with the new parish.
- Thank you.

And God bless you, guv.

- Ernest.
- Bye, guv.

- I enjoyed your book.
- Oh.

- Cathy.
- Bye, guv.

- No more suffragettes?
- No, guv.

- Agatha.
- Good luck, guv.

I'll come with you to the door.

- In a moment, my lord.
- I'm expecting a lady to join me.

Eh?

The lady I'm going to marry.

What?

I'm sorry I kept you waiting.

I just want to wish you every happiness.

Thank you, Mary, for my lovely clothes.

- Well done, guv.
- Congratulations!

- Jolly lucky man, what? Bit of a surprise.
- Marvelous.

[Crichton] Well, we'll just be off.
Eliza, our train.

Yes, guv.

- Good-bye.
- Good luck, guv.

After you, Eliza.

Thank you.