Original subtitles

>> PREVIOUSLY ON "NIP/TUCK"...

>> YOU´VE ENROLLED AT SANTA

MONICA COLLEGE?

>> I WANT TO TRY THE PRE-MED

THING.

>> I MISSED BEING THE YOUNGEST

PERSON TO GRADUATE FROM HARVARD

MEDICAL SCHOOL BY 12 DAYS.

>> HIS NAME IS RAJ. HE KIND OF

REMINDS ME OF MYSELF WHEN I WAS

IN MED SCHOOL.

WHAT DOES BREAST CANCER HAVE TO

DO WITH ANYTHING?

>> I HAVE IT.

LIZ...CAN YOU STAY A WHILE?

>> [MOAN]

>> IS IT REALLY SO TERRIBLE FOR

WILBUR TO WAKE UP TO AUNT

LIZZIE?

>> LESS TEETH.

NO. MORE HAND.

THAT´S IT.

NO, NO. SETTLE DOWN. BOY, FOR

SOMEBODY WITH SUCH A BIG MOUTH,

YOU SURE SUCK AT THIS.

>> IT´S ONLY MY THIRD BLOW JOB.

BUT IF YOU GIVE ME SOME

POINTERS, I CAN GET BETTER.

>> NO, NO, I--NO, NO, NO.

LISTEN TO ME.

I THINK IT´S ABOUT ME.

I--I JU--IT´S NOT YOU. I THINK

I´M JUST NERVOUS ABOUT THE

SURGERY.

>> OH. GOT YOU.

>> THIS IS NOT A BIG DEAL.

THERE´S MORE TO OUR RELATIONSHIP

THAN SEX. IN A WAY, IT KIND OF

INTERFERES WITH THE INTIMACY.

>> OH, MY GOD.

>> DON´T YOU THINK?

>> WE HAVE L.B.D.

>> ENGLISH, LIZZIE.

>> LESBIAN BED DEATH. IT

HAPPENS AFTER A YEAR OR SO.

THERE´S JUST TOO MUCH TALKING

AND NOT ENOUGH SCREWING, EXCEPT

WITH US, IT´S HAPPENING AFTER

THE FIRST WEEK!

>> YOU´RE OVERTHINKING THIS.

YOU WERE GREAT TODAY WITH

WILBUR. WE LAUGHED OURSELVES

SILLY AT THE PIER, RIGHT?

I MEAN, HOW MUCH MORE FUN DO YOU

WANT TO GET OUT OF A DAY?

>> PUT ON "PROJECT RUNWAY." I

GOT TO GO PEE.

>> HEY, LIZZIE. HERE, PUT THIS

ON.

>> YOU CAN´T EVEN LOOK AT ME

NAKED.

>> IT´S CHILLY. I DON´T WANT YOU

TO GET COLD.

>> [SIGH]

>> ♫ MAKE ME BEAUTIFUL

MAKE ME

THE PERFECT SOUL

A PERFECT MIND

A PERFECT FACE

A PERFECT

LIFE ♫

>> SO, RICKY, TELL ME WHAT YOU

DON´T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF.

>> I WANT TO LOOK OLDER.

>> MRS. WELLS, CHILDREN DO

MATURE AT DIFFERENT RATES. HAVE

YOU AND YOUR SON CONSIDERED JUST

LETTING NATURE RUN ITS COURSE?

>> SHE IS NOT MY MOTHER. SHE´S

MY WIFE.

>> WE WERE MARRIED A FEW WEEKS

AGO.

>> CONGRATULATIONS.

>> AH, OBVIOUSLY, YOU ARE

ATTRACTED TO RICKY, YOUTHFUL

APPEARANCE AND ALL. WHY WOULD

YOU WANT TO CHANGE THAT NOW?

>> I DON´T. I LIKE HIM JUST THE

WAY HE IS, FOR WHAT´S INSIDE.

WHAT´S BETWEEN US IS AGELESS,

BUT THE WORLD DOESN´T SEE IT

THAT WAY.

>> WE CAN NEVER MAKE PEOPLE

UNDERSTAND. I´VE BEEN IN LOVE

WITH HER FROM THE FIRST MOMENT

WE MET.

>> I WAS TEACHING SECOND GRADE,

AND THIS SWEET 8-YEAR-OLD BOY

WALKED INTO MY HOMEROOM AND

ENTERED MY HEART.

>> YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH AN

8-YEAR-OLD?

>> NO, OF COURSE NOT. WE JUST...

WE HAD A RAPPORT. BUT THEN

LATER, WHEN I WAS TEACHING

SEVENTH GRADE AND RICKY SHOWED

UP IN MY CLASS AGAIN--

>> I WAS--I WAS 13.

>> BUT HE WAS VERY MATURE FOR

HIS AGE. HE--HE SEEMED TO

UNDERSTAND ME IN A WAY THAT NO

MAN EVER HAD. DO YOU BELIEVE IN

SOULMATES, DOCTOR?

>> I BELIEVE THAT LITTLE BOYS

HAVE CRUSHES ON THEIR TEACHERS

AND THAT THOSE TEACHERS ARE

SUPPOSED TO HAVE BOUNDARIES.

>> BUT THAT´S THE THING ABOUT

FALLING IN LOVE. THERE ARE NO

BOUNDARIES. MY LIFE WAS

TRANSFORMED. YOU THINK I WOULD

HAVE PICKED RICKY IF I HAD A

CHOICE?

IT WAS AS IF I FINALLY FOUND

HAPPINESS, AND I WAS NOT

GOING TO LET THAT GO...

EVEN THOUGH EVERYTHING

CONSPIRED AGAINST US.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

I PLED GUILTY TO TWO COUNTS OF

STATUTORY RAPE. I WAS LET GO

AFTER 6 MONTHS FOR GOOD

BEHAVIOR ON THE CONDITION THAT I

NOT SEE RICKY AGAIN.

>> I--I COULDN´T STAY AWAY.

I JUST---I COULDN´T.

>> OH, RICKY.

OH, JUST LIKE THAT. JUST LIKE

THAT.

BUT...I WAS A CONVICTED SEX

OFFENDER. SO THEY WERE

MONITORING MY WHEREABOUTS.

OH, YES, SWEETIE. GOD. OH. OHH.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

SHIT.

I WENT BACK TO PRISON FOR THE

FULL TERM.

>> THE MINUTE I TURNED 18, I

APPLIED TO THE COURT TO LIFT THE

NO-CONTACT ORDER. THE REQUEST

WAS GRANTED, AND, UH, WE GOT

MARRIED A WEEK LATER.

WELL, WE´RE FREE NOW. WHO GIVES

A SHIT WHAT PEOPLE SAY?

>> RICKY.

>> SORRY.

>> ONCE A TEACHER...

>> IF YOU DON´T CARE WHAT THEY

SAY, WHY DO YOU CARE WHAT YOU

LOOK LIKE?

>> BECAUSE I´M GONNA BE A

FATHER.

>> I´M 4 MONTHS ALONG.

>> AND I--I DON´T WANT PEOPLE TO

THINK I´M MY KID´S OLDER

BROTHER. THAT WOULD BE

DISRESPECTFUL TO CARRIE MAY AND

THE FAMILY WE´RE TRYING TO

BUILD.

>> OUR LOVE HAS BEEN LEGITIMIZED

IN THE EYES OF THE LAW, BUT WE

CAN´T TRANSFORM SOCIETY. SO

WE´LL DO WHAT WE NEED TO DO SO

THAT PEOPLE LEAVE US IN PEACE.

>> AH, AH, AH, AH.

>> WHAT?

>> JUST FOCUS. YOU´RE GETTING

CARELESS.

>> OH, I´M NEVER EATING BACON

AGAIN. THERE WE GO. UGH!

THERE.

DONE.

>> GOOD JOB--IF YOU WERE ASKED

TO REMOVE A LUNG, NOT THE LIVER.

MATT, IF THIS WAS YOUR BIOLOGY

FINAL, YOU´D FAIL. I TOLD YOU, I

WANT TO HELP YOU PREPARE, BUT I

THOUGHT YOU´D AT LEAST STUDY.

>> NO, I DID STUDY. I JUST

DON´T UNDERSTAND IT, YOU KNOW?

>> IT TAKES PRACTICE AND

REPETITION, ALL RIGHT?

IF YOU WANT TO BE A SURGEON,

YOU´RE GONNA HAVE

TO KNOW ALL THIS STUFF BACKWARD

AND FORWARD. AND THIS IS HOW

YOU START. NOW, GIVE ME THE

HEART.

>> IT´S TOO HARD, DAD, OK?

I--I´M JUST NOT SMART ENOUGH TO

UNDERSTAND IT, AND I WANT TO GAG

EVERY TIME I HAVE TO CUT

SOMETHING OPEN.

>> I WAS SQUEAMISH AT FIRST,

TOO.

>> I GUESS I´M JUST NOT YOU. I

DIDN´T INHERIT YOUR BRAINS FOR

THIS SHIT.

>> IS OUR PATIENT PREPPED AND

READY?

>> YES, HE IS, DR. PARESH.

>> I MUST SAY I´M VERY MUCH

LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS

OPERATION, DR. McNAMARA. THIS

KIND OF PECTORAL RECONSTRUCTION

IS VERY RARE. I ALMOST FEEL

LUCKY.

>> WELL, CHRISTIAN MIGHT

DISAGREE WITH YOU.

>> BUT WHAT HE CANNOT DISAGREE

WITH IS THE GOOD HANDS HE´S IN,

BOTH YOURS AND MINE. LIKE

MICHELANGELO, RODIN--WE ARE

MASTER SCULPTORS AT WORK, ARE WE

NOT?

>> EXCEPT YOU´RE NOT WORKING

WITH STONE, BUT HUMAN FLESH.

YOU MUST BE GREATER THAN THE

SCULPTOR.

>> FATHER. WHAT ARE YOU DOING

HERE?

THE CONVENTION ISN´T FOR

ANOTHER COUPLE OF WEEKS.

>> I CAME HERE TO SEE MY SON AT

WORK.

>> DR. SEAN McNAMARA, THIS IS

MY FATHER, THE RENOWNED

CARDIOTHORACIC SURGEON DR.

VIJAY PARESH. HE´S JUST ARRIVED

FROM BANGALORE.

>> IT´S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU,

DR. PARESH. RAJ SPEAKS VERY

HIGHLY OF YOU.

>> THAT IS PLEASANT TO HEAR.

MAY I ASK, WHAT IS THE OPERATION

THE TWO OF YOU WILL BE

PERFORMING TODAY?

>> PECTORAL RECONSTRUCTION,

POST-MASTECTOMY, ON MY PARTNER,

ACTUALLY.

>> I AM ONLY ASSISTING DR.

McNAMARA.

>> IS IT OK IF I WATCH?

>> OF COURSE.

>> I WAS THINKING WE SHOULD

ORDER FROM THE GRILL TODAY. WHAT

DO YOU THINK? HMM?

ON ME, OF COURSE, SINCE YOU

GUYS ARE DOING ALL THE WORK AND

I´M JUST LAYING HERE.

>> THIS ONE´S PRETTY RELAXED.

HE´S ABOUT TO HAVE INVASIVE

SURGERY, AND ALL´S HE CAN THINK

ABOUT IS FOOD. CAN I PUT HIM

OUT NOW? PLEASE?

>> MM-HMM.

>> MAKE ME BEAUTIFUL.

>> YOU´RE IN GOOD HANDS.

>> I KNOW.

>> OK.

COUNT BACK FROM 100.

>> FROM 100?

>> 100.

>> OK. 100.

99.

>> LIZ CRUZ, I WANTED TO TELL

YOU YOU LOOK VERY BEAUTIFUL

TODAY. HAVE YOU LOST A FEW

POUNDS?

>> I HAVE. NOW I JUST HAVE TO

FIGURE OUT SOMETHING TO DO WITH

MY HAIR.

>> YES, AND YOUR CLOTHES.

>> HIT IT, LINDA.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

15-BLADE.

>> ♫ I AM ♫

>> ♫ I AM ♫

>> ♫ I AM SUPERMAN

AND I KNOW WHAT´S HAPPENING ♫

>> ♫ I AM ♫

>> ♫ I AM ♫

>> ♫ I AM SUPERMAN

AND I CAN DO ANYTHING

YOU DON´T REALLY

LOVE THAT GUY

YOU´RE MAKING IT WITH

NOW, DO YOU... ♫

>> WHO´S THAT IN THE HALLWAY?

>> MY FATHER.

>> YOU TWO MUST HAVE A GREAT

RELATIONSHIP. A SON FOLLOWING IN

HIS FATHER´S FOOTSTEPS.

>> AND SPEAKING OF SONS, THERE´S

YOURS, SEAN.

>> RAJ, COME OVER ON THIS SIDE.

WHY DON´T YOU ANCHOR THE

IMPLANT? USE HORIZONTAL

MATTRESS SUTURES, AND THEN

CLOSE. SHOW OFF FOR YOUR FATHER.

>> ♫ I AM SUPERMAN

AND I CAN DO ANYTHING

IF YOU GO... ♫

>> WHAT, UH--WHAT´S GOING ON?

>> I WANTED TO BE HERE FOR

CHRISTIAN´S SURGERY--YOU KNOW,

FOR WHEN HE WAKES UP?

>> DON´T YOU HAVE A MIDTERM

TODAY?

>> EH...

AND I WANTED TO STOP BY TO LET

YOU KNOW IN PERSON I DECIDED TO

DROP ORGANIC CHEMISTRY.

>> NO, MATT, YOU CAN´T.

>> I--I HAVE TO. BETWEEN JENNA

AND CLASSES, SOMETHING HAS TO

GIVE HERE.

>> LOOK. I KNOW HAVING A KID AT

YOUR AGE IS HARD. I WASN´T MUCH

OLDER WHEN YOU WERE BORN. BUT

YOU CAN DO IT, MATT, OK?

AND I

WANT TO HELP YOU AS MUCH AS

POSSIBLE. I´M GONNA ASK RAJ TO

TUTOR YOU. HE´S A WHIZ WITH THIS

STUFF.

>> [SIGH]

OK.

>> YEAH.

>> UM...I, UH, I GOT TO GO PICK

UP JENNA. I´LL SEE YOU BACK AT

THE HOUSE?

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> CHILDREN CAN BRING MUCH

HEADACHE, CAN´T THEY, DR.

McNAMARA?

>> IF MATT HAD HALF THE AMBITION

YOUR SON HAS...

I KNOW SOME OF IT´S MY FAULT.

WE´VE HAD SOME HARD TIMES OVER

THE YEARS. YOU AND RAJ JUST SEEM

MUCH...CLOSER.

>> I DIDN´T FLY 8,000 MILES JUST

TO SEE MY SON OPERATE. I´M HERE

TO GET SURGERY MYSELF. NOW, YOUR

OFFICE DOES PENILE

ENHANCEMENTS, DON´T THEY?

>> ♫ I AM ♫

>> ♫ I AM ♫

>> ♫ I AM SUPERMAN

AND I CAN DO ANYTHING ♫

>> VERY IMPRESSIVE SETUP, DR.

McNAMARA. MY SON HAS MANY MORE

ADVANTAGES THAN WHEN I STARTED.

>> BUT YOU MADE SO MUCH WITH THE

LITTLE YOU DID HAVE, FATHER.

>> TRUE. STILL, YOU ARE VERY

LUCKY. FIRST BORN--THEY HOLD

ALL YOUR HOPES AND DREAMS

HOSTAGE, DON´T THEY?

WHICH IS

WHY YOU MUST BE THE ONE TO

PERFORM MY PENIS ENLARGEMENT.

WHERE CAN I GET SOMETHING TO

DRINK?

>> UM...

>> FATHER, TO ASK ME TO PERFORM

THAT SURGERY, I´M--I´M S--I´M

VERY, UM...

>> HONORED?

>> FREAKED OUT.

>> ABOUT TOUCHING MY LINGAM?

YOU ARE A DOCTOR. THERE WOULD BE

NO PROBLEM IF I WERE ANY OTHER

PATIENT.

>> IT´S NOT THAT. I JUST--I...

WHY WOULD YOU WANT SUCH A THING

DONE?

>> WHEN YOUR MOTHER WAS ALIVE, I

NEVER HAD A PROBLEM WITH MY

SIZE. NOW SHE´S GONE, AND I´M

TRAVELING THE WORLD, AND I WANT

SOMETHING MORE SUBSTANTIAL TO

WIELD IN MY INTIMACIES.

>> YOU MEAN YOU WANT TO WHORE

AROUND?

>> I LOVED YOUR MOTHER DEARLY.

AND SHE WAS THE REASON FOR MY

LIVING. AND I WANT TO ENJOY

MYSELF SOME MORE. YOU´LL

UNDERSTAND WHEN YOU´RE MARRIED

FOR 20 YEARS YOURSELF.

AM I EMBARRASSING YOU?

>> DR. PARESH, MAYBE BECAUSE OF

THE DELICACY OF THE OPERATION,

YOU´D BE MORE COMFORTABLE WITH A

SENIOR, MORE EXPERIENCED

SURGEON LIKE MYSELF TO PERFORM

YOUR SURGERY.

>> DR. McNAMARA, SURELY YOU CAN

UNDERSTAND WHAT AN HONOR IT

WOULD BE TO HAVE MY OWN SON, THE

BENEFIT OF ALL MY TEACHING,

PERFORM THE SURGERY ON ME. COULD

THERE BE NO PROUDER MOMENT FOR

A FATHER?

>> I´D JUST BE HAPPY IF MY SON

PASSED BIOLOGY RIGHT NOW.

>> MATT. YES, I HAVE TO TUTOR

HIM. I WON´T BE AVAILABLE TO

OPERATE IN THE TIME THAT YOU´RE

HERE. SORRY, FATHER, PREVIOUS

COMMITMENT.

>> THE ONLY TRUE COMMITMENT YOU

HAVE IS TO YOUR FAMILY, RAJEESH.

>> VERY GOOD. I WILL DO THE

SURGERY. YOU ARE RIGHT. WHAT

OTHER DUTY DO I HAVE?

YOU ARE

MY FATHER, AND I OWE YOU

EVERYTHING.

>> MY BOY, YOU HAVE MADE ME SO

PROUD.

>> ♫ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♫

>> CHRISTIAN TROY IS BACK IN

ACTION.

>> ♫ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH... ♫

>> [MOANING]

>> [MOANING]

>> HELLO?

HELLO?

HELLO?

GUESS WHAT, HONEY?

I AM IN FULL GIRL DRAG!

>> [BREATHING HEAVILY]

YOU LOOK GREAT, LIZZIE. COULD

YOU CLOSE THE DOOR ON YOUR WAY

OUT?

>> OH, I DON´T THINK SO. GET

YOUR GODDAMN SKINNY ASS UP OFF

THAT TUB, AND GET OUT OF THIS

HOUSE!

>> DOES YOUR MOM ALWAYS YELL AT

YOUR GIRLFRIENDS?

>> MAMA--MAMA IS A LITTLE

POSSESSIVE.

>> WELL, ARE YOU JUST GONNA

STAND THERE SMILING LIKE A

CHESHIRE CAT, HUH?

>> YEAH. YEAH. ACTUALLY...

I DON´T WANT MAMA MAD AT BOTH

OF US. YOU´D BETTER GO. I´M

SORRY. HERE YOU GO.

>> SO...I HOLD YOUR HEAD OVER

THE TOILET, I MOP UP YOUR STINKY

VOMIT, I RUB YOUR BACK, FILL IN

WHEN YOU´RE TOO SICK TO TAKE

CARE OF YOUR CHILD, AND THIS IS

THE WAY YOU TREAT ME!

I EVEN TOOK A CLASS ON THE

GODDAMN ART

OF FELLATIO, YOU DICKHEAD!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

HAS THE

CHEMO KILLED EVERY BIT OF CLASS

THAT YOU EVER HAD?

>> SETTLE DOWN, KILLER, OK?

WE NEVER, EVER TALKED ABOUT A--A

MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP. I MEAN,

THAT WAS JUST NEVER EVEN ON THE

TABLE.

>> I´M NOT TALKING ABOUT

MONOGAMY.

>> WHEW.

>> I AM TALKING ABOUT RESPECT.

I KNOW WHO YOU ARE. YOU HAVEN´T

BEEN FAITHFUL SINCE THE YEAR

JOHN LENNON DIED. I DON´T

EXPECT TO BE THE PERSON WHO´S

GONNA CHANGE ANY OF THAT. BUT

SHOULD I HAVE MY FACE RUBBED IN

IT?

>> LIZZIE. DO I HAVE TO REMIND

YOU THAT THIS IS MY HOUSE?

>> DO I HAVE TO REMIND YOU THAT

YOU INVITED ME OVER HERE THIS

EVENING?

HMM?

>> OH. YOU LOOK GREAT.

THOSE PUMPS--FANTASTIC. DID YOU

LOSE WEIGHT?

>> BITE ME.

>> OH, COME ON. LOOK, I´M AN

ASSHOLE. I´M A DICKHEAD.

I´M--I´M SORRY. I´M SORRY.

LET´S JUST GO OUT TO DINNER OR

SOMETHING...BEFORE YOU TURN

BACK INTO A PUMPKIN AND YOUR

HAIR GOES BRILLO AGAIN. COME

ON, LIZZIE.

>> OK. YOU CAN BUY ME DINNER.

AND WHEN WE GET BACK, YOU CLEAN

THE TUB.

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO KIDS HIS

AGE JUST TRYING TO SCORE A FAKE

I.D.?

IT´S JUST SO SAD.

>> THIS IS NOT ABOUT HIM

WANTING TO BUY BEER, LIZ.

LOOKING OLDER IS ABOUT WANTING

TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY, AS A MAN

AND A PARENT.

>> WELL, I´VE HAD MY SHARE OF

BEARDS, AND THEY DIDN´T FOOL

ANYONE EXCEPT FOR ME. AND LOOK

HOW WELL THAT TURNED OUT.

>> WELL, THINGS NOT GOING SO

WELL WITH DR. TROY?

>> WELL, LET´S JUST SAY THAT NO

MATTER WHAT YOU DO TO THE

OUTSIDE, THE INSIDE NEVER REALLY

CHANGES...

WHICH IS BAD NEWS FOR HIM.

>> MAYBE. BUT ANY ADVANTAGE YOU

CAN GET WHEN YOU´RE 18 AND

YOU´RE ABOUT TO HAVE A KID, I´M

ALL FOR.

>> WELL, YOU HAD MATT WHEN YOU

WERE PRETTY YOUNG. HOW´D YOU

COPE WITH ALL THE PRESSURE?

>> I GUESS I JUST DID THE BEST I

COULD AND HOPED EVERYTHING

WOULD TURN OUT ALL RIGHT.

>> WOULDN´T THAT BE GREAT IF

THAT´S ALL IT TOOK?

JUST DOING THE BEST YOU CAN AND

HOPING.

>> HEY, RAJ.

>> DR. SEAN McNAMARA, HELLO. I

WAS JUST RESEARCHING MY

FATHER´S SURGERY.

>> WHERE´S MATT?

AREN´T YOU

SUPPOSED TO BE TUTORING HIM

RIGHT NOW?

>> FOR THE LAST HOUR, YES, BUT

HE HAS NOT SHOWN UP. PERHAPS HE

FORGOT.

>> I REMINDED HIM AGAIN LAST

NIGHT.

>> AS DID I. HE WAS MEANT TO BE

BRINGING DINNER, TOO. I HAVE

BEEN FAMISHED.

>> YEAH, ME, TOO. IT´S BEEN A

LONG DAY.

>> MMM. OHH.

MY MOUTH IS ON FIRE, BUT I

CAN´T STOP EATING THESE AMAZING

POULTRY SAMPLES.

>> YOU´VE REALLY NEVER HAD

CHICKEN WINGS BEFORE?

>> MM-MMM. MM-MMM. MM-MMM.

>> OH. GOT TO TRY THAT BLUE

CHEESE. IT TAKES IT TO A WHOLE

OTHER LEVEL.

RIGHT?

>> OH!

>> AH!

>> OHH!

>> AND THE BEST COMBINATION...

IS WHEN YOU WASH IT ALL DOWN

WITH A COLD BEER.

>> MY FATHER KEPT ME ON A

STRICT VEGETARIAN DIET GROWING

UP. HAVE TO KEEP THE MIND

FOCUSED AND ALL THAT. HE WOULD

NEVER HAVE ALLOWED ME TO EAT

THESE. HE´D BE VERY UPSET IF HE

SAW ME EATING THESE RIGHT NOW.

>> OH. THESE, I CALL SOUL FOOD,

BECAUSE THEY TASTE GREAT,

THEY´RE BAD FOR YOU, BUT THEY

KEEP YOUR SPIRITS UP. SOMETIMES

YOU NEED THAT.

>> HMM.

ARE YOU SURE?

>> YEAH, ONE SIP´S OK. I´VE

BROUGHT YOU THIS FAR.

>> OH.

OH.

>> YEAH, OK. ALL RIGHT.

>> OHH.

CAN WE GET SOME MORE?

>> NO. YOUR FATHER WOULD KILL ME

IF HE FOUND OUT.

>> MATT IS VERY LUCKY TO HAVE A

FATHER LIKE YOU.

>> NOW, IF ONLY HE COULD GET

YOUR GRADES, WE´D BOTH BE HAPPY.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

>> CHICKEN WINGS ANONYMOUS.

>> DUDE, WHERE ARE YOU?

I THOUGHT WE WERE WORKING

TONIGHT.

>> MATT!

YOUR FATHER AND I WERE JUST

TALKING ABOUT YOU.

TELL ME, HAVE YOU EVER HAD BEER?

>> WHAT? I--I CAN BARELY HEAR

YOU, MAN.

>> HEY, WE WAITED AT THE HOUSE

FOR OVER AN HOUR. WHAT HAPPENED?

>> YEAH. UM, I--I GOT HELD UP.

I´M SORRY ABOUT THAT. WAIT A

MINUTE. ARE YOU GUYS AT A BAR?

>> YES, AND, UM, RAJ AND I ARE

HAVING A LITTLE SOUL FOOD. SO

WE´LL HAVE TO CATCH UP WHEN I

GET HOME, OK?

>> WELL, WAIT. I CAN COME AND

MEET YOU GUYS. WHERE ARE YOU?

HELLO?

HE--WOW. THAT´S AWESOME, DAD.

>> SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE.

>> ♫ STEPPING OUT TONIGHT... ♫

>> [BREATHING HEAVILY]

>> SMOOTH. COMPLIMENTS TO YOUR

TRAINER.

>> HEH HEH!

>> ♫ AND IN A YELLOW TAXI

TURNED TO ME AND SMILED

WE´LL BE THERE

IN JUST A WHILE... ♫

>> WHAT´S THIS SCAR FROM?

>> A KNIFE WOUND. I STOPPED A

BANK ROBBERY.

>> [GIGGLES]

>> ♫ INTO THE NIGHT

INTO THE NIGHT

ME, BABE

STEPPING OUT

INTO THE NIGHT

INTO THE NIGHT ♫

>> OH, MY GOD!

WHAT IS THAT?

>> WHAT?

>> YOUR TIT--IT´S MOVING.

>> JESUS.

OH.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[BANGING ON DOOR]

>> WHO IS IT?

>> IT´S CHRISTIAN.

>> DON´T YOU BELIEVE IN CALLING?

>> IT´S IMPOLITE TO CALL AFTER

12:00. IT WAS A JOKE, LIZZIE.

LET ME IN.

>> NO.

[BANGING ON DOOR]

NO!

I´M ASLEEP. I´M ONLY

PRETENDING TO BE AWAKE. OH, NO.

CASA DE LA CRUZ IS CLOSED, AND

SO ARE MY LEGS.

OH, JESUS CHRIST!

WHAT IS THAT?

>> IT´S MY IMPLANT. IT HAS A

LIFE OF ITS OWN. I TRIED

CALLING SEAN, BUT HE WOULDN´T

PICK UP, THE ASSHOLE.

>> OH, WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?

IT´S NO BIG DEAL.

>> OH!

>> THE SUTURES TORE. THEY GOT

LOOSE. YOU WEREN´T SUPPOSED TO

BE ENGAGING IN ANYTHING

STRENUOUS. YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT?

>> WHAT´S GOING ON, BABE?

>> ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME?

>> YOU´RE STRAIGHT?

>> UH, NO. AND YES. NOW GO. UH,

YOU KNOW WHAT, HONEY?

I´M GONNA BE RIGHT BACK IN. JUST

ONE SECOND, OK? I PROMISE.

>> OH.

>> I MEAN IT, CHRISTIAN. NOW,

GO. WHEN YOU GET IN THE OFFICE

IN THE MORNING, WE´LL GO BACK IN

AND WE´LL RE-SUTURE--HALF AN

HOUR, TOPS.

>> I CAN´T BELIEVE YOU´VE GONE

BACK TO MUFF DIVING.

AT LEAST IF IT WAS A MAN, I

KNOW I COULD WIN.

>> OH. AND WINNING IS WHAT

COUNTS, RIGHT?

>> DO YOU LOVE HER?

>> GOOD NIGHT, CHRISTIAN.

>> GOOD MORNING, BABY.

LOOK WHO CAME TO SEE YOUR

UNVEILING.

>> HEY, BRO. WHAT´S UP?

GOOD TO SEE YOU, POP.

>> I MISSED YOU, SON. WE´VE ALL

MISSED YOU.

>> REALLY?

THEN HOW COME MOM DIDN´T COME?

>> SHE WANTED TO, BUT I SAID

THAT´S TOO MANY PEOPLE.

>> BUT SHE WANTS YOU AND CARRIE

MAY TO COME OVER. SHE TOLD ME

TO TELL YOU AS SOON AS YOU GOT

OUT, SHE WAS GONNA MAKE A BIG

JAMBALAYA FEAST.

>> I GUESS I´M NOT THE DEVIL

ANYMORE.

>> WE JUST, UH--WE JUST WANT TO

KNOW OUR GRANDCHILD.

>> ISN´T THAT GREAT, BABY?

>> WOW. THAT´S FANTASTIC.

>> HELLO, EVERYONE. SO, ARE WE

READY TO UNVEIL THE NEW, MATURE

RICKY?

>> WE CERTAINLY ARE. OH, AND,

UH, THIS IS RICKY´S LITTLE

BROTHER CHRIS. HE´S ALWAYS BEEN

A SUPPORTER OF OUR

RELATIONSHIP. HE´S YOUNG, BUT HE

UNDERSTANDS.

>> I´M ROBERT, RICKY´S FATHER.

>> GOOD TO MEET YOU. OK. LET´S

SEE.

>> WOW. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

WHAT DO YOU THINK, BABE?

DO I LOOK

MORE LIKE A HUSBAND AND FATHER?

>> MY GOD. YOU LOOK SO

DIFFERENT, IT´S--IT´S KIND OF

SHOCKING.

>> I HOPE IT´S WHAT YOU WERE

LOOKING FOR. I THINK IT´S

NATURAL. IT´S STILL YOU, BUT

WITH A LITTLE MORE GRAVITAS. I

THINK IT´LL GIVE YOU THAT LEG UP

YOU WANT.

>> IT´S AMAZING. I MEAN, UM,

DON´T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY,

BUT...

>> YOU LOOK LIKE DAD NOW.

>> YEAH. YEAH, YOU CERTAINLY DO.

>> WAIT, PLEASE. WHAT EXACTLY

ARE YOUR PERCENTAGES, AND WHAT

DEPTH OF GUEDEL´S STAGES ARE YOU

TAKING ME?

>> MEDICAL INFO TO FOLLOW.

>> I´M NOT A HORSE YOU´RE

PUTTING UNDER. WHO TAUGHT YOU

YOUR JOB?

>> FATHER, DR. LIZ CRUZ IS A

FANTASTIC ANESTHESIOLOGIST.

>> LIZ AND I HAVE DONE THOUSANDS

OF SURGERIES TOGETHER. I ASSURE

YOU, YOU COULD NOT BE IN BETTER

HANDS.

>> SEAN!

HOW LONG UNTIL YOU´RE GONNA BE

DONE IN HERE? MY TIT

IS FALLING ALL OVER THE PLACE.

IT´S UNDERNEATH MY RIBCAGE. YOU

NEED TO FIX IT.

>> YOU RUPTURED YOUR SUTURES?

WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO, RUN A

MARATHON?

>> BAGGED ANOTHER BIMBO.

>> THIS IS YOUR FAULT, NOT

MINE, ALL RIGHT?

YOU OBVIOUSLY DIDN´T SECURE THE

IMPLANT PROPERLY. HOW COULD YOU

BE SO CARELESS?

HUH?

>> SEAN DID NOT DO THAT TO YOU,

DR. CHRISTIAN TROY. I DID. MY

SUTURES WERE CLEARLY

SUBSTANDARD.

>> YOU LET DOOGIE HOWSER OPERATE

ON ME?

OH. DO YOU REALIZE IF I

WAS A REGULAR PATIENT, YOU COULD

BE SUED FOR MALPRACTICE?

>> IT IS COMPLETELY MY MISTAKE,

SIR.

>> RAJEESH, YOU WERE THE ONE WHO

FOULED UP THIS MAN´S SURGICAL

IMPLANT?

>> YES, BUT I WAS A BIG ENOUGH

MAN TO ADMIT IT.

>> IT DOESN´T TAKE A BIG MAN TO

ADMIT HIS MISTAKES WHEN ONLY A

FOOL MAKES THEM IN THE FIRST

PLACE!

>> SINCE YOU ARE THE ONE WHO

TAUGHT ME EVERYTHING I KNOW,

PERHAPS IT IS YOUR FAULT AS

WELL.

>> DON´T YOU EVER BLAME YOUR

INCOMPETENCE ON ME!

MY APOLOGIES.

HE DESERVED THAT.

GET ME OUT OF HERE.

>> SO YOU REALLY KNOW ENOUGH

ABOUT HYDROCARBONS TO DO THIS?

>> MATT, I TOLD YOU IF GOT ME

HIGH, I´D WRITE THE ORGANIC

CHEMISTRY PAPER FOR YOU. JUST

DUMB IT DOWN BEFORE YOU HAND IT

IN. NOBODY WILL KNOW THE

DIFFERENCE.

I LOVE THIS REFRESHING ALCOHOLIC

BEVERAGE. I NEVER HAD ONE

BEFORE YOUR FATHER BOUGHT ONE

FOR ME.

>> YEAH. I DON´T THINK THAT GUY

EVER BOUGHT ME A DRINK IN MY

ENTIRE LIFE. MY DAD´S A COMPLETE

HARD-ASS.

>> DOES HE HIT YOU?

>> YEAH, IT´S BEEN KNOWN TO

HAPPEN, SURE.

>> REALLY?

THAT IS A SURPRISE TO ME.

>> WELL, IT WAS ONLY ONCE. I

LIED TO MY PARENTS. I WAS DRUNK,

AND I SHOVED MY MOM. AND I

DARED HIM TO DO IT.

>> [LAUGHS]

SO YOU DESERVED IT.

>> YEAH.

>> I REMEMBER ONE DAY MY FATHER

HIT ME WHEN I CAME HOME WITH A

"B" FOR MY MIDTERM PHYSICS EXAM.

HE SAID I´D EMBARRASSED HIM.

NOT ONE STUDENT IN THE CLASS GOT

AN "A." THE HIGHEST MARK WAS A

"B," BUT I EMBARRASSED HIM. I

WAS 9 YEARS OLD. EVER SINCE I

WAS OLD ENOUGH TO HOLD A BABY

RATTLE, MY FATHER HAS PUSHED,

PUSHED, PUSHED ME TO BE A

SURGEON. HE ALWAYS SAID I HAD

SUCH A GREAT GIFT AND THAT IF I

DIDN´T WORK AS HARD AS I COULD

TO BECOME A SURGEON, THAT IT

WOULD BE THE EQUIVALENT OF

MURDER, THAT I WOULD BE

MURDERING PEOPLE IF I DIDN´T

WORK AS HARD AS I COULD TO SAVE

MORE LIVES.

>> THAT´S INSANE.

>> EXACTLY. I MEAN, WHAT DO YOU

SAY TO THAT?

YOU´D THINK WHEN I TOLD HIM THAT

I WAS GOING TO

BECOME A PLASTIC SURGEON INSTEAD

OF A HEART SPECIALIST LIKE HIM,

HE WOULD HAVE GOTTEN THE HINT,

BUT NO, NO. HE JUST SAID, "SON,

YOU WILL ONLY BE DOING

RECONSTRUCTIVE OPERATIONS, HUH?

NONE OF THIS COSMETIC BULLSHIT."

THIS COMING FROM A MAN WHO

WANTS HIS DICK MADE BIGGER!

SOMETIMES I THINK...

THE ONLY WAY FOR ME TO STOP HIM

IS...

IS TO CUT OFF MY HANDS.

>> LOOK. I--I GET IT, MAN. YOUR

DAD PUSHED YOU REALLY HARD.

THAT SUCKS. BUT YOU´RE ALREADY A

PLASTIC SURGEON. THAT´S A

PRETTY SWEET WAY TO LIVE A LIFE,

RAJ.

>> BUT IT´S NOT MY DREAM. AND

NOW I´M 17, AND I HAVE MY

ENTIRE LIFE PLANNED OUT FOR ME.

I DON´T HAVE A CHOICE.

I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WOULD BE

COOL TO BE A "PLAYBOY"

PHOTOGRAPHER.

MEANWHILE, MY ENTIRE SEXUAL

HISTORY CONSISTS OF A SINGLE

BLOW JOB...FROM A MAN.

OH, MY LIFE SUCKS, MATT.

>> DON´T WORRY ABOUT IT, MAN.

I HAD SEX WITH A TRANSSEXUAL

ONCE.

SEVERAL TIMES, ACTUALLY.

IT´S TRUE. OH, MAN. I GOT TO

CALL MY SPONSOR. I SH--SHOULD

NOT BE DOING THIS.

WHAT A JOKE, YOU KNOW? I´M

CLOSER TO MY SPONSOR THAN I AM

MY OWN DAD.

>> MATT.

>> HMM?

>> YOU´VE GOT TO DO ME A FAVOR.

>> WHAT?

>> GET OUT OF THE CAR AND COME

OVER TO MY SIDE.

>> WHY?

>> MATT, PLEASE. OVER TO MY

SIDE.

>> YEAH, OK.

>> SLAM THE DOOR ON IT.

>> DUDE, YOU´RE TOTALLY BAKED.

NO. NO WAY.

>> DO IT. I WON´T TELL ANYONE

YOU WERE INVOLVED.

>> WHAT?

>> MATT, I HAVE BEEN THINKING

ABOUT THIS FOR A VERY LONG

TIME, AND IT IS THE ONLY WAY OUT

FOR ME. DO IT.

>> LOOK, RAJ, THIS IS NUTS, MAN.

>> DO IT!

IF YOU DON´T DO IT, I´LL JUST

FIND SOMEONE ELSE WHO WILL. DO

IT. DO IT BECAUSE YOUR FATHER

HIT YOU. DO IT BECAUSE HE IS

PRESSURING YOU TO BE A DOCTOR.

DO IT BECAUSE HE LIKES ME

BETTER THAN HE LIKES YOU. DO IT

BECAUSE NEXT TO ME, YOUR LIFE

IS A FAILURE!

YOU ARE A LOSER, MATT!

YOU ARE AN EMBARRASSMENT!

YOU ARE NOTHING! YOUR FATHER

TOLD ME!

[SCREAMS]

>> I WAS ABLE TO REATTACH MOST

OF THE SEVERED NERVE ENDINGS...

BUT HE´LL NEVER HAVE COMPLETE

USE OF HIS HAND.

>> THAT´S TOUGH.

I KNOW HE WAS LIKE A SON TO YOU.

>> THE SON I HAVE IS THE SON I

LOVE, WHETHER HE SHARES MY

DREAMS OR NOT. YOU DON´T HAVE

TO BE A DOCTOR FOR ME TO LOVE

YOU, MATT. JUST COMES WITH THE

TERRITORY.

I JUST CAN´T UNDERSTAND HOW RAJ

COULD HAVE SLAMMED THE DOOR LIKE

THAT ON HIS OWN HAND.

>> IF YOU´RE DESPERATE ENOUGH,

I GUESS YOU´LL DO WHATEVER IT

TAKES TO BE HEARD.

>> COME ON. I´LL WALK WITH YOU.

SO IF YOU DON´T WANT TO BE A

DOCTOR, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE?

>> YOU´LL LAUGH.

>> I MIGHT. BUT TRY ME. I´M

LISTENING.

>> OK. WELL, YOU KNOW, LAST

YEAR WHEN YOU WERE ON "HEARTS ´N

SCALPELS," I THOUGHT, WELL,

MAYBE THAT´S WHAT I SHOULD BE,

YOU KNOW, A DOCTOR. THEN I

REALIZED I DON´T ACTUALLY WANT

TO BE A DOCTOR. I JUST WANT TO

PLAY ONE ON TV.

>> YOU WANT TO BE AN ACTOR?

>> YEAH!

OH, LOOK, MAN. YOU WERE AWESOME

ON THAT SHOW, YOU KNOW?

SO IN A WAY, I´LL STILL BE

FOLLOWING IN YOUR FOOTSTEPS,

JUST WITHOUT THE ORGANIC

CHEMISTRY AND CUTTING UP FETAL

PIGS, YOU KNOW?

>> BELIEVE ME, MATT, AFTER A

YEAR OF ACTING, YOU´RE GONNA

MISS THAT PIG.

BE GOOD.

>> I´LL TRY.

>> HONEY, I´M HOME. I SOLD TWO

COPIERS TODAY.

>> [MOANING]

>> SEAN...

CAN I TALK TO YOU

ABOUT SOMETHING?

>> HEY. LONG DAY?

>> VERY.

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

>> LIZ WON´T BE COMING OVER

TONIGHT FOR YOUR

KISS-AND-MAKE-UP DINNER.

>> HUH. HOW DO YOU KNOW?

>> SHE TOLD ME, RIGHT AFTER SHE

RESIGNED.

>> SHE´LL GET OVER IT. CHRIST, I

THOUGHT SHE WAS DIFFERENT FROM

THE OTHERS.

>> YOU MEAN LACKING

SENSITIVITY?

IMPERVIOUS TO YOUR BULLSHIT?

SORRY, PAL. WOMEN ARE

WOMEN, EVEN IF THEY USED TO BE

LESBIANS.

>> LOOK. I DON´T NEED YOUR

OPINION ON THIS, ALL RIGHT?

I KNOW YOU DON´T APPROVE.

>> I KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT ABOUT

YOUR RELATIONSHIP THE ENTIRE

TIME. I THOUGHT IT WAS A

TERRIBLE IDEA. YOU DON´T SHIT

WHERE YOU EAT.

>> OH, LOOK. SPARE

ME THE CLICHES AND THE

SENSITIVITY, WOULD YOU?

I DON´T NEED IT.

>> YOU DO. YOU BREAK HEARTS AND

YOU HURT PEOPLE WITH YOUR

NARCISSISM,

AND THE SAD THING IS,

LIZ THOUGHT YOU WOULD CHANGE FOR

HER.

>> LOVE AND SEX DON´T HAVE TO BE

INTERCHANGEABLE. LIZZIE KNOWS

THAT.

>> APPARENTLY NOT, BECAUSE

RIGHT AFTER SHE RESIGNED AND I

LOST THE BEST ANESTHESIOLOGIST

I EVER HAD, SHE INFORMED SHE´S

MOVING BACK TO MIAMI.