Original subtitles

>> PREVIOUSLY ON "NIP/TUCK"...

>> YOU REALLY SHOULD LOCK UP

YOUR FIREARMS AND NOT LEAVE

THEM IN A BEDSIDE TABLE DRAWER,

YOU STUPID BITCH.

>> AAH!

[GUNSHOT]

ARE YOU A DOCTOR?

>> PLASTIC SURGEON.

>> IS THAT HOW WE KNOW EACH

OTHER?

>> I'M YOUR HUSBAND.

>> WE'RE STILL MARRIED?

>> WE'RE STILL MARRIED.

>> YOU REALLY DON'T REMEMBER

ME, DO YOU?

>> MY FIRST YEARS IN COLLEGE

WERE MEMORABLE IN THE SENSE

THAT I DON'T REALLY REMEMBER

THAT MUCH, EVEN IF WE HAD A

THING.

>> WE HAD MORE THAN JUST A

THING, CHRISTIAN. WE HAD A

DAUGHTER.

>> MR. McNAMARA, I'M COLLEEN

ROSE OF THE COLLEEN ROSE

AGENCY. YOU ARE A

SCENE-STEALER, AND I KNOW I CAN

GET YOU WORK. BE A CRIME TO

HIDE THAT MASSIVE TALENT OF

YOURS.

>> SEAN, YOUR AGENT'S ON THE

PHONE.

>> AGENT?

>> SHE'S A TALENT AGENT.

>> TALENT AGENT? I THOUGHT YOU

NEEDED TALENT FOR A TALENT

AGENT.

>> SEAN McNAMARA, YOU ARE THE

NEW START OF "HEARTS AND

SCALPELS!"

>> WHAT?

>> YOU DID GOOD, COLLEEN.

>> WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THESE?

>> COLLEEN, THIS IS

INAPPROPRIATE.

>> GO AHEAD SQUEEZE THEM. THESE

AREN'T THE TITS OF A

FIFTYISH-YEAR-OLD WOMAN, AM I

RIGHT?

>> DO YOU SEE ANY OTHER AGENTS

HERE, COLLEEN?

>> WE HAVE TO STICK TOGETHER

HERE.

>> NO, WE DON'T. I'M TIRED OF

YOU CROSSING BOUNDARIES.

>> LOOK WHAT I MADE YOU. IT'S A

SEAN BEAR. IT'S HOW I EXPRESS

MY FRIENDSHIP.

>> COLLEEN, WHAT'S GOING ON?

WHY ARE YOU HERE?

>> IT'S MY NIECE'S KIOSK, AND

I'M JUST FILLING IN BECAUSE SHE

WAS SICK. WHY? IS THAT WRONG?

>> YOU LIED ABOUT WHO YOU ARE.

THAT'S UNFORGIVABLE. I TRUSTED

YOU! THIS IS THE END OF OUR

RELATIONSHIP, DO YOU

UNDERSTAND? WHAT ARE YOU DOING

HERE, COLLEEN? WHAT HAVE YOU

DONE?

>> I JUST NEED YOU TO FIX THESE

FOR ME.

>> COLLEEN, I AM WALKING TO THE

PHONE, AND I AM CALLING THE

POLICE RIGHT NOW.

>> YOU DID THIS TO ME, AND YOU

WILL FIX THEM!

>> ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO. COME

ON. COME HERE.

>> YOU'LL BE SORRY FOR THIS, I

SWEAR!

>> DR. McNAMARA, WHAT CAN YOU

TELL US ABOUT COLLEEN ROSE?

>> DID YOU TELL HER TO KILL

YOUR AGENT?

>> WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE?

>> YOU'RE A PUBLIC PERSON NOW,

BUDDY BOY. THEY OWN YOU.

NOTHING IS OFF LIMITS.

LOOK. I KNOW HOW HARD THIS IS

FOR YOU.

WHAT THE HELL?

>> BEHIND YOU!

>> LOOK. I'M NOT SEAN, ALL

RIGHT? YOU'RE SCARING HIS

DAUGHTER.

>> THAT'S WHOSE PICTURE WE WANT.

>> GET OUT OF MY WAY.

[TIRES SQUEAL]

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? I

DON'T THINK YOU'RE GONNA BE

MUCH HELP WITH A BROKEN COLLAR

BONE.

>> YOU MAD AT ME?

>> I'M MAD AT MYSELF. I LOST MY

PRIORITIES, MY VALUES. I CHASED

A DREAM LIKE A SILLY TEENAGER.

LOOK WHAT'S HAPPENED. IT'S

GONNA BE GOOD FROM NOW ON, I

PROMISE.

UNH!

[GAGGING]

>> * AH, MAKE ME BEAUTIFUL

MAKE ME

A PERFECT SOUL

A PERFECT MIND

A PERFECT FACE

A PERFECT LIFE *

[THE O'JAYS' "BACK STABBERS"

PLAYING]

>> McNAMARA/TROY?

FACE-LIFT?

THEY TELL ME IT STARTS TO FEEL

BETTER AFTER A COUPLE OF WEEKS.

THIRD FLOOR.

>> * BACK STABBERS *

>> * ALL YOU FELLAS

WHO HAVE SOME WOMAN

AND YOU REALLY CARE, YEAH, YEAH

THEN IT'S ALL OF YOU FELLAS

WHO BETTER BEWARE, YEAH, YEAH

SOMEBODY'S OUT TO GET YOUR LADY

A FEW OF YOUR BUDDIES

THEY SURE LOOK SHADY... *

>> DO YOU MIND IF I HANDLE THIS

SOLO? I JUST FEEL LIKE I WANT

TO BE ALONE WITH MY DAUGHTER IN

THERE.

>> OF COURSE.

I SHOULD CHECK ON DARLENE

ANYWAY. SHE'S HAD A TOUGH

RECOVERY, A LOT OF PAIN.

>> * ALL THE TIME, THEY WANT TO

TAKE YOUR PLACE... *

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

>> HELLO?

>> * BACK STABBERS *

>> * I KEEP GETTING

ALL THESE VISITS... *

>> OH, YEAH.

>> * FROM MY FRIENDS

YEAH, WHAT THEY'RE DOING TO ME

THEY COME TO MY HOUSE

AGAIN AND AGAIN

AND AGAIN AND AGAIN, YEAH

SO ARE THEY THERE TO SEE

MY WOMAN?

I DON'T EVEN BE HOME

BUT THEY JUST KEEP ON COMING

WHAT CAN I DO? *

>> LIZ, CAN YOU GET SOME GAUZE

AND TAPE, PLEASE?

>> * SOME OF THESE KNIVES

OUT MY BACK *

>> * WHAT THEY DO?

THEY SMILING IN YOUR FACE *

>> * ALL THE TIME

THEY WANT TO TAKE YOUR PLACE

THE BACK STABBERS *

>> * BACK STABBERS *

>> * AH, AH, AH, AH, AHH

LOW-DOWN, DIRTY *

>> 9:30 AT CRAFT, AND DON'T BE

LATE. MY ARM'S A LITTLE BUMMED

UP, SO YOU MIGHT HAVE TO FEED

ME.

>> * BACK STABBERS *

>> * BACK STABBERS *

>> * AH, AH, AH, AH, AHH

LOW-DOWN, DIRTY *

>> * WHAT THEY DO?

SMILIN' IN YOUR FACE *

>> * SMILIN' FACES

SMILIN' FACES SOMETIMES *

>> * BACK STABBERS

THEY SMILIN' IN YOUR FACE *

>> * I DON'T NEED

LOW-DOWN, DIRTY... *

>> IT'S GONNA BE GOOD FROM NOW

ON, I PROMISE.

I'VE BEEN THINKING, LIZ. MAYBE

IT'S TIME TO PUT DOWN SOME

ROOTS, FIND A PLACE OF MY OWN.

THE KIDS NEED A REAL HOME OUT

HERE, AND SO DO I. WHAT DO YOU

THINK OF THE HOLLYWOOD HILLS?

UNH!

[GAGGING]

>> * STOP ME, YOUNG OR OLD

STOP ME

STOP IF YOU THINK THAT YOU'VE

HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE

STOP ME

OH, OH, STOP ME

STOP ME IF YOU THINK THAT YOU'VE

HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE

BECAUSE NOTHING'S CHANGED

I STILL LOVE YOU

OH, I STILL LOVE YOU

ONLY SLIGHTLY

ONLY SLIGHTLY LESS

THAN I USED TO, MY LOVE *

>> [WHEEZES]

>> OH, MY BABY, WHAT HAVE I

DONE TO YOU?

>> * I WAS DELAYED

I WAS WAY-LAID... *

>> IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT,

COOKIE. I'M GONNA TAKE CARE OF

YOU NOW.

>> * I CRASHED DOWN

ON THE CROSSBAR

AND THE PAIN WAS ENOUGH TO MAKE

A SHY, BALD BUDDHIST REFLECT

AND PLAN A MASS MURDER, YEAH

WHO SAID I'D LIED TO HER?

WHO SAID I'D LIED

BECAUSE I NEVER, NEVER?

WHO SAID I LIED

BECAUSE I NEVER? *

>> CHRISTIAN!

CHRISTIAN!

CHRISTIAN!

SHE'S IN SINUS-TACK. HER HEART

RATE'S 190 AND RISING.

>> SHE'S IN MALIGNANT

HYPOTHERMIA. WHERE'S SEAN?

>> I CAN'T GET HER OPEN.

>> EHH.

>> SORRY ABOUT THE MESS I MADE

IN HERE, COOKIE.

SO WHAT ELSE IS NEW?

>> SHE'S GONNA DIE, CHRISTIAN.

LET'S GO.

>> * WHO SAID I'D LIED

BECAUSE I NEVER, NEVER? *

>> GO, GO, GO, GO.

>> I'M GOING.

>> THAT'S BETTER.

>> ALL RIGHT. I GOT IT.

>> AHH!

>> SEE HOW EASY?

>> PLEASE. I'M BLEEDING TO

DEATH.

>> HER HEART RATE'S 95. OK.

SHE'S GONNA BE OK. GONNA BE OK,

ANNIE.

>> I NEED YOU TO HELP ME.

>> TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

>> SEAN?

>> NO. I'M NOT GONNA LET THEM

HURT YOU, SEAN.

>> SEAN!

>> MINE!

>> PRESSURE HERE.

>> SEAN!

>> YEAH.

>> LIKE THIS?

>> YEAH.

>> I HAVE SUCH PLANS FOR US,

COOKIE.

>> * STOP ME IF YOU THINK

THAT YOU'VE

HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE *

>> SEAN!

>> MOVE OUT OF THIS SHIT HOLE...

[BANG]

SOMEPLACE QUIETER...

[BANG]

AND WE'LL GROW OLD TOGETHER.

[BANG]

[BANG]

[BANG]

[BANG]

>> SEAN!

>> I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS.

>> JUST STAY WITH ME, BUDDY,

ALL RIGHT? JUST--JUST STAY WITH

ME. LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME.

STAY WITH ME, BUDDY, ALL RIGHT?

OK? YOU STAY WITH ME. YOU HEAR

ME? CAN YOU HEAR ME? STAY WITH

ME.

>> * DON'T REALLY LOVE ME

NO, NO, NO

YOU JUST KEEP ME HANGIN' ON

YEAH, YEAH *

> LIZ!

[ECHOING]

[ELEVATOR DINGS]

>> NEED A LIFT?

>> OH, YOU JUST CAN'T STAND

THAT MY BICEPS ARE GETTING

BIGGER THAN YOURS, CAN YOU?

>> YOU'RE RIGHT. NOW IF YOU

COULD JUST TEACH YOUR DICK TO

DRIVE THIS THING.

>> HEH.

>> COME ON. YOUR FIRST

CONSULT'S IN YOUR OFFICE. YOU

CAN'T ESCAPE! TELL ME WHAT YOU

DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF.

>> MY BACK. IT'S IN AGONY FROM

SUPPORTING MY FRONT.

>> A BREAST REDUCTION?

OH, I DON'T KNOW, LIZ.

>> THOSE ARE YOU TWO BEST

ASSETS.

>> THEY'RE LIKE HAVING A PAIR

OF LOUIS VUITTON BAGS. THEY'RE

GREAT TO LOOK AT, BUT THEY'RE

NOT A LOT OF FUN TO LUG AROUND.

LOOK. I HAVE WANTED THIS FOR A

LONG TIME, AND I FIGURED WHAT

BETTER TIME THAN NOW? MY BOOBS

WILL BE THE FIRST THING YOU GET

TO PUT YOUR HANDS ON.

>> THAT'S VERY SWEET OF YOU,

LIZ.

>> DON'T YOU WORRY, BUDDY. YOU

WON'T BE SCALING THOSE

MOUNTAINS ALONE. THAT'S A

TWO-MAN JOB IF EVER I'VE SEEN

ONE.

>> WELL, YOU SEEM LIKE A

PERFECTLY GOOD CANDIDATE. I'D

RECOMMEND A POST REDUCTION.

>> ALL RIGHT. FANTASTIC. WHY

DON'T WE SAY, UH, TOMORROW? THE

SOONER SHE GETS HER BOOBS

REDUCED, THE SOONER WE CAN GIVE

HER BELLY BUTTON SOME ROOM TO

BREATHE.

>> SHUT UP, CHRISTIAN.

>> I'M TEACHING ALL DAY. YOU DO

IT.

>> OH, NO, NO, NO. WAIT. THESE

ARE STILL MY BREASTS WE'RE

TALKING ABOUT, AND I THINK THAT

I'VE EARNED THE SERVICE OF BOTH

McNAMARA AND TROY.

>> HOW ABOUT WEDNESDAY?

>> I'M TEACHING THEN, TOO. THEY

SEEM TO REALLY LIKE WHAT I HAVE

TO OFFER OVER THERE.

>> WHAT ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE TO

OFFER OVER HERE?

>> I AM NOT READY TO OPERATE!

THE CERVICAL NERVES ARE STILL

INFLAMED. MY HANDS AREN'T WHAT

THEY WERE. DR. CARGILL SAID

IT'S UP TO ME, AND I'M TELLING

YOU, I'M NOT READY. LOOK. I

APPRECIATE BOTH YOUR SUPPORT.

CHRISTIAN IS MORE THAN CAPABLE

OF DOING WHAT YOU WANT DONE.

>> OK. FINE. WHAT IF I WAIT?

>> DON'T. THERE'S NO TELLING

WHEN I'M GONNA BE READY OR EVEN

IF.

>> TIME. EINSTEIN SAID THERE

WAS NO NOW, NO PAST, PRESENT,

OR FUTURE. PHYSICISTS THINK

THAT IF YOU TRAVEL AT THE SPEED

OF LIGHT TIME DISAPPEARS.

UNFORTUNATELY, WE DON'T HAVE A

SPACESHIP THAT CAN TRAVEL AT

THE SPEED OF LIGHT. WE AGE. OUR

CELLS DETERIORATE, DEFORM, AND

MUTATE INTO TINY, MISSHAPEN

FREAKS, MAKING OUR SKIN SAG AND

WRINKLE AND OUR MUSCLES

ATROPHY. WE DON'T HAVE A TIME

MACHINE, BUT...

WE DO HAVE THIS.

NOW THIS IS ONE OF THE TOP

PLASTIC SURGERY RESIDENCIES IN

THE COUNTRY. THEY'VE ASKED ME

TO COME HERE AND MAKE SURE THAT

WHEN YOU LEAVE YOU'RE NOT JUST

DOCTORS OR SURGEONS BUT BENDERS

OF TIME, AND IT'S YOUR JOB TO

USE THIS 10 BLADE ON A

50-YEAR-OLD WOMAN AND TAKE HER

BACK SO WHEN SHE LOOKS IN THE

MIRROR SHE SEES HERSELF WHEN

SHE WAS 30. OK. SHOW ME WHAT

YOU GOT.

OH, AWFUL. REALLY AWFUL.

CONGRATULATIONS. OUR FIRST

MEDIOCRE.

WHERE'S YOUR PARTNER?

>> I PREFER TO WORK ALONE.

>> HOW OLD ARE YOU?

>> 17. MY NAME IS RAJEESH

PARESH. I MISSED BEING THE

YOUNGEST PERSON TO GRADUATE

FROM HARVARD MEDICAL SCHOOL BY

12 DAYS.

>> VERY NICE. YOU SHOULD USE

PDS SUTURES TO MINIMIZE THE

TENSION.

>> THAT'S ONE OPTION. I MUCH

PREFER USING THE MUSCLE TO HOLD

THE SUTURE. I FEEL IT PRODUCES

A FAR MORE NATURAL LOOK.

>> UNTIL THE MUSCLE GIVES OUT

AND THE PATIENT'S ENTIRE FACE

COLLAPSES. DO IT MY WAY.

>> DR. SEAN McNAMARA, I'M SORRY

ABOUT CONTRADICTING YOU. MY

FATHER SAYS I HAVE HIS BRAINS

BUT MY MOTHER'S MOUTH.

>> WELL, YOU'RE VERY GOOD, DR.

PARESH. YOU WERE WRONG TODAY,

BUT YOUR ATTITUDE WAS RIGHT. WE

HAVE TO BE ARROGANT SOBs TO DO

WHAT WE DO.

>> HEY, RAJ. UH, DR. McNAMARA,

I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD HELP

YOU OUT.

>> OH. THANK YOU. THOSE RAMPS

CAN BE A BIT DICEY.

>> HEH. MAY I?

>> YES, PLEASE.

>> I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW, RAJ.

>> HMM.

>> SO I'M FINALLY GONNA LAY MY

EYES ON THE FAMOUS LIZ CRUZ

TATAS.

>> TATAS? HAVE YOU BEEN HANGING

OUT WITH MY UNCLE PEPE?

>> HOW ABOUT BODACIOUS BOOBIES?

>> OK. BREATHE DEEP, CENTER

YOURSELF, AND ACT LIKE A REAL

DOCTOR. I KNOW IT'S A STRETCH.

>> OOH.

>> OH, THIS IS SO WEIRD. OK.

UM, I'M A 36-D, BUT I KNOW YOU

COULD TELL BY LOOKING. I WAS

THINKING OF A SMALL "C." THIS

WAY, I'D HAVE THE SIZE BUT NOT

THE WEIGHT.

>> DO YOU SELF-EXAMINE, LIZZIE?

>> YEAH. WHEN I REMEMBER. WELL,

NORMALLY, MY LOVERS DO ALL THE

EXAMINING. THAT'S THE CLASSIC

LESBIAN FOREPLAY. WHY? WHAT ARE

YOU ASKING ME?

>> THIS...

>> YEAH?

>> FEELS LIKE A LUMP.

>> OH, SHIT.

>> WELL, DON'T JUMP TO

WORST-CASE SCENARIO. JUST BE A

BIG GIRL AND GET YOURSELF A

MAMMOGRAM.

[MACHINERY STARTS]

>> YOU'LL FEEL SOME PRESSURE.

[BUZZ]

>> I COULDN'T HAVE FACED THIS

ALONE.

>> WHY WOULD YOU?

I'LL BE THERE NO MATTER WHAT.

AHEM.

>> YOU CAN BREATHE, DR. CRUZ.

YOU'RE FINE.

>> HA!

>> YOU'RE JUST ONE OF THOSE

WOMEN WITH FIBROCYSTIC BREASTS.

ABOUT HALF OF THE WOMEN WITH

LUMPS HAVE THE SAME CONDITION.

YOU DRINK A LOT OF COFFEE, DIET

COLAS?

>> I DO. TOO MUCH, I KNOW.

>> IS THAT WHAT THIS IS FROM,

DIET SODA?

>> YOU HAVE A LUMP?

>> EH, IT'S PROBABLY NOTHING.

>> HOW LONG HAVE YOU HAD A LUMP?

>> INFLAMED SWEAT GLAND FROM

LIFTING WEIGHTS. IT'S NOTHING.

>> WELL, I'M NOT SUGGESTING

THERE'S AN EPIDEMIC, BUT IN

2008, SOMEWHERE IN THE

NEIGHBORHOOD OF 450 MEN WILL

DIE OF BREAST CANCER. IT WOULD

BE PRUDENT TO HAVE IT LOOKED

AT, DR. TROY.

>> HEH.

[MAMMOGRAM MACHINE STARTS]

>> YOU'LL FEEL SOME PRESSURE.

>> OW! HOLY SHIT!

[BUZZ]

>> YOU SEE THIS DARKENED

TISSUE? THIS IS WHAT WE'RE

GOING TO BIOPSY. WE'RE GOING TO

DETERMINE IF THIS IS DUCTAL

CANCER IN SITU, WHICH MEANS

THERE'S LITTLE TO NO CHANCE

IT'S SPREAD INTO THE

SURROUNDING TISSUE, OR IF WE'RE

DEALING WITH AN INVASIVE DUCTAL

BREAST CANCER.

>> HOW SOON WILL I KNOW? I NEED

TO KNOW SOMETHING TODAY. I

DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANY OF THIS

"WE'LL CALL YOU NEXT WEEK"

BULLSHIT.

>> I CAN DO A FROZEN SECTION SO

WE'LL KNOW TODAY IF IT'S A

MALIGNANCY AND IF IT'S INVASIVE.

>> I'LL BE HERE, NO MATTER WHAT.

>> YOU READY?

>> SURE.

IT'S NOT MALIGNANT. I JUST KNOW

IT. I HAVE A SIXTH SENSE ABOUT

THESE KIND OF THINGS. BESIDES,

LIKE YOU SAID, I DON'T FIT THE

PROFILE. DIDN'T TENNESSEE

WILLIAMS HAVE BREAST CANCER OR

SOME SHIT?

>> NO. RICHARD ROUNDTREE DID.

SORRY. I LOOKED IT UP ONLINE.

>> SHAFT HAD TIT CANCER?

>> MM-HMM.

>> JEEZ.

WELL, SHAFT ASIDE, I'M NOT A

PUSSY. THAT IS NOT WHAT'S GONNA

TAKE ME OUT.

>> OH, I AGREE. ODDS ARE IT'S

GONNA BE A JEALOUS HUSBAND WITH

A GUN.

>> HEH. DAMN STRAIGHT.

>> I DON'T HAVE GOOD NEWS, DR.

TROY.

>> SO TELL WHAT YOU DON'T LIKE

ABOUT YOURSELF.

>> THEY KICKED ME OUT OF THE

BAND, AND NOW I GOT TO GET A

REAL JOB.

>> * DIG-A DING DING

DING DING DING DING

DIG-A DING DING

DING DING DING DING

DIG-A DING DING

DING DING DING DING

DIG-A DING DING

DING DING DING DING

DIG-A DING DING

DING DING DING DING

DIG-A DING DING

DING DING DING DING *

* DIG-A DING DING

DING DING DING DING *

>> DO YOU MIND?

>> YOU WERE BLOCKING MY VIEW.

>> RAJ IS IT?

>> MM-HMM.

>> SEAN SAID YOU'D BE HERE TO

OBSERVE.

>> APOLOGIES, DR. CHRISTIAN

TROY. IF YOU'RE FINE WITH THE

USE OF SUCH SUBSTANDARD

TECHNIQUES, THEN BY ALL MEANS

I'LL STAY OUT OF YOUR WAY.

>> DID YOU JUST CALL MY WORK

SUBSTANDARD?

>> MULTIPLE SUTURES IN THE

EARLOBE WITHOUT EVERSION WILL

LIKELY RESOLVE IN AN INFERIOR

SCAR, PERHAPS EVEN A KELOID.

>> WOW, RAJ. YOU SURE KNOW A

LOT FOR SOMEONE JUST OUT OF

MEDICAL SCHOOL, AND YOU'RE SO

YOUNG.

>> IN INDIA, MY FATHER WAS A

RENOWNED CARDIOTHORACIC

SURGEON. HE STARTED TUTORING ME

AS SOON AS I WAS ABLE TO HOLD A

SCALPEL. HE SAID I WAS MEANT TO

CHANGE THE WORLD WITH MY HANDS.

>> THAT'S A LOT OF PRESSURE TO

PUT ON SOMEONE AT SUCH A YOUNG

AGE.

>> BUT AS SURGEONS, WE MUST

LEARN TO DEAL WITH THAT

PRESSURE EVERY DAY. HE WAS

PREPARING ME, AND FOR THAT, I

AM GRATEFUL.

>> HMM.

>> WHO TAUGHT YOU YOUR SKILLS,

DR. CHRISTIAN TROY?

>> THE UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI.

>> WELL, WE CAN'T ALL LEARN

FROM THE BEST.

>> ALL RIGHT, DOOGIE HOWSER.

YOU'RE OUT OF HERE, ALL RIGHT?

GO. COME BACK WHEN YOU REACH

PUBERTY.

>> WELL, I--I'D RECHECK THOSE

STITCHES IF I WERE YOU. THEY

STILL SEEMED A LITTLE LOOSE.

>> * DIG-A DING DING

DING DING DING DING

DIG-A DING DING

DING DING DING DING

DIG-A DING DING

DING DING DING DING

DIG-A DING DING

DING DING DING DING *

>> I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING

THROUGH, CHRISTIAN, BUT COME

ON. HE'S JUST A KID.

>> HE'S NOT JUST A KID. HE'S A

PAIN IN THE ASS, AND YOU DO NOT

KNOW WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH, SO

STOP ACTING LIKE YOU DO.

>> * DIG-A DING DING

DING DING DING DING

DIG-A DING DING

DING DING DING DING

DIG-A DING DING

DING DING DING DING *

>> [SIGHS]

I'M SORRY.

>> ME, TOO, LIKE YOU CAN'T

IMAGINE.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT? THE LITTLE

SHIT WAS RIGHT. I NEED TO

RESUTURE THESE. THEY'RE A

LITTLE LOOSE.

>> COME ON. PUSH YOURSELF. YOU

CAN MAKE IT. YOU GOT IT. OK.

>> [GROANING]

THAT'S IT. I'M DONE.

>> YOU GOT TO DO ONE MORE, DAD,

OK? COME ON.

>> CAN'T WE JUST ORDER PIZZA

AND WATCH THE GAME TOGETHER?

>> I GOT TO PICK UP JENNA.

WE'RE GONNA SEE MOM TO DO AN

HOUR OF MEMORY REHABILITATION,

SHOW HER OLD SLIDES AND

PICTURES AND STUFF.

>> [GROANS]

IS SHE STILL FURIOUS WITH ME?

>> I TOLD HER YOU LIED TO HER

AND SAID YOU WERE STILL MARRIED

BECAUSE YOU LOVED HER, NOT

BECAUSE YOU WERE TRYING TO HURT

HER.

YEAH. SHE STILL DOESN'T WANT TO

SEE YOU.

THERE'S SOMETHING I WANT TO

SHOW YOU.

>> OH, MAN.

>> WHAT'S THIS? FROM YOUR

PAROLE OFFICER?

>> NO. NOT THIS TIME.

>> YOU'VE ENROLLED AT SANTA

MONICA COLLEGE?

>> YEAH, JUST UNTIL I GET

ENOUGH CREDITS TO TRANSFER TO

UCLA.

>> CHEMISTRY AND BIOLOGY,

ANATOMY?

>> MM-HMM. YEAH. I THINK I WANT

TO TRY THE PREMED THING.

I KNOW I'VE GIVEN YOU TOO MANY

REASONS NOT TO BE PROUD OF ME.

SEEING YOU IN THAT CHAIR MADE

ME WANT TO CHANGE THAT.

>> WELL, I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN IN

A WHEELCHAIR A LONG TIME AGO IF

I THOUGHT--

>> I'M SORRY THAT'S WHAT IT

TOOK.

>> WELL, IF YOU EVER NEED HELP

WITH YOUR SCIENCE HOMEWORK, YOU

BETTER COME TO ME.

>> WHO ELSE WOULD I

ASK--CHRISTIAN?

>> ASK ME ABOUT WHAT, MATTY?

WHETHER YOU SHOULD KEEP BANGING

YOUR HALF-SISTER AND POPULATING

THE WORLD WITH MORE REDNECK

RETARDS?

>> FOR THE RECORD, CHRISTIAN, I

HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO EMME IN OVER

A MONTH. THE LAST THING I

HEARD, SHE MOVED TO NEW YORK.

SHE'S STUDYING FASHION, DOING

GREAT. YOU KNOW, SHE IS YOUR

DAUGHTER, MAN. YOU SHOULD CALL

HER.

>> YOU KNOW, ALL MY CHILDREN

DISAPPOINT ME, EXCEPT FOR

WILBER BECAUSE HE DOESN'T TALK

VERY MUCH.

>> MATT'S TAKING PREMED COURSES

AT SANTA MONICA COLLEGE.

>> WOW! COMMUNITY COLLEGE. GLAD

TO SEE YOU'RE SHOOTING SO HIGH

THERE, KILLER.

>> WELL...

SEE YOU TOMORROW.

>> DID YOU DO AN HOUR OF THOSE

BARS?

>> I DID 45 MINUTES.

>> WELL, THEN GET BACK ON IT,

SUPERMAN. I NEED YOU BACK AT

WORK AS OF YESTERDAY. I DON'T

WANT TO BE HANGING WITH HADJI

THE SNAKE CHARMER.

>> HIS NAME IS RAJ, AND

ACTUALLY, HE KIND OF REMINDS ME

OF MYSELF WHEN I WAS IN MED

SCHOOL.

>> RIGHT. WELL, YOU WANT TO

PLAY HENRY HIGGINS, THAT'S FINE

BY ME, BUT I DON'T WANT TO SEE

HIM AROUND UNTIL YOU'RE BACK,

ALL RIGHT? SO COME ON. GET BACK

TO IT.

>> I DID ENOUGH FOR TODAY.

>> WHY ARE YOU SUCH A PUSSY?

>> OH, SCREW YOU, ASSHOLE. YOU

HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M GOING

THROUGH. I CAN'T WALK. IT'S

HARD.

>> SO IS STAGE II BREAST CANCER.

>> WHAT DOES BREAST CANCER HAVE

TO DO WITH ANYTHING?

>> I HAVE IT.

[DOOR SLAMS]

>> CAN I GIVE YOU A HAND?

>> OH, I THINK I'M FINE FOR

NOW. THANKS.

YOU'RE GONNA BEAT IT.

>> I WENT TO MED SCHOOL. I KNOW

WHAT STAGE II MEANS.

>> CAN WE GET A TABLE OR

SOMETHING?

>> SURE.

>> NICE SHOT.

HAVE YOU EVER HAD A VISION?

>> IF YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT

ELVIS AND THE VIRGIN MARY

ARRIVED AT OUR FRONT DOOR JUST

AFTER I LEFT--

>> REMEMBER WHEN WE TOOK THAT

PSYCHE COURSE AND WE DID LSD

AND IT WAS LIKE WE SAW, YOU

KNOW, THE TRUTH BEHIND THE

SO-CALLED REALITY?

>> YOU HAD A FLASHBACK?

>> NO. A FLASHFORWARD 20 YEARS.

THIS CRAZY DREAM I HAD WHEN

JULIA WALKED OUT ON ME. I WAS

DRINKING TOO MUCH, AND IT WAS

RIGHT BEFORE CONNOR'S SURGERY,

BUT IT WAS SO REAL IT WAS LIKE

I HAD IT YESTERDAY. I WAS

WALKING, AND YOU WERE

DEFINITELY STILL ALIVE.

>> AND AUNTIE EM WAS THERE AND

UNCLE HENRY?

>> OH, FINE. FORGET IT.

>> NO, NO. I WANT TO HEAR IT.

HOW DID I LOOK?

>> PATHETIC. YOU LOOKED LIKE

RICARDO MONTALBAN RETURNING

FROM FANTASY ISLAND. YOU HAD

SILVERY HAIR AND A WIFE ON EACH

ARM.

>> TWO WIVES. I LIKE THE SOUND

OF THAT. WHAT ABOUT JULIA?

>> OH, HAPPILY MARRIED, JUST

NOT TO EITHER ONE OF US. YOU

KNOW, THE FUTURE WASN'T

PERFECT, BUT AT LEAST WE WERE

BOTH THERE.

>> THAT WAS A DREAM, SEAN. IT

WASN'T A GODDAMN PROPHECY.

>> I KNOW WHAT IT WAS, BUT THAT

PART OF IT, THE PART ABOUT US

BEING AROUND FOR IT, I'M NOT

JUST GONNA DISMISS THAT, OK? IT

WAS TELLING ME SOMETHING,

SOMETHING ABOUT HAVING FAITH

BECAUSE WE BOTH COME OUT ALL

RIGHT IN THE END. WE WERE STILL

TOGETHER, OLDER, BUT...

WE GOT TO SEE OUR KIDS GROW UP.

>> I'M SCARED, SEAN.

>> YOU'RE GONNA DIE, CHRISTIAN,

JUST NOT RIGHT AWAY. OF COURSE,

IT DOES SUCK TO THINK THAT

WE'RE CLOSER TO THE END THAN

THE BEGINNING, DOESN'T IT? I'M

TELLING YOU, WE'RE HERE FOR AT

LEAST ANOTHER 25 YEARS, SO YOU

MIGHT AS WELL ENJOY IT AS MUCH

AS YOU CAN, RIGHT?

>> CAN I GET YOU GENTLEMEN

ANYTHING?

>> UH...ACTUALLY, COULD YOU

SHOW ME WHERE THE MEN'S ROOM IS?

>> I'D BE HAPPY TO.

>> OH. THAT'S VERY SWEET OF YOU.

>> CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK?

>> NO, THANKS.

>> I COULD USE THE

CONVERSATION. I JUST FOUND OUT

I HAVE BREAST CANCER.

[DONOVAN'S "BARABAJAGAL"

PLAYING]

HA!

>> HEE HEE HEE!

>> * SHE CAME

SHE CAME TO MEET A MAN

SHE FOUND AN ANGEL

GOO GOO, GOO GOO BARABAJAGAL

WAS HIS NAME NOW

GOO GOO, GOO GOO BARABAJAGAL

WAS HIS NAME NOW

GOO GOO, GOO GOO BARABAJAGAL

WAS HIS NAME NOW

HE VERY WISE IN THE HERBAL LORE

HE'S GOT YOUNG CURE NOW

SHE CAME

SHE CAME TO FREE THE PAIN

WITH HIS WILD FLOWER

GOO GOO, GOO GOO BARABAJAGAL

WAS HIS NAME NOW

HE VERY WISE IN THE HERBAL LORE

HE'S GOT YOUNG CURE NOW

SHE CAME

SHE CAME TO FREE THE PAIN

WITH HIS WILD FLOWER

GOO GOO, GOO GOO BARABAJAGAL

WAS HIS NAME NOW

GOO GOO, GOO GOO BARABAJAGAL

WAS HIS NAME NOW

GOO GOO, GOO GOO BARABAJAGAL

WAS HIS NAME NOW *

>> YOU LIKE THOSE. 100% REAL,

DOCTOR. OW! YOU'RE HURTING ME.

>> WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU

HAD THESE CHECKED FOR LUMPS?

>> ARE YOU GIVING ME A BREAST

EXAM WHILE WE'RE HAVING SEX?

>> I THINK I FELT SOMETHING.

>> I HAD A MAMMOGRAM AT MY

REGULAR CHECKUP. THEY'RE FINE.

>> HOW LONG AGO? YOU CAN'T BE

TOO CAREFUL, YOU KNOW,

PARTICULARLY AT YOUR AGE.

>> MY AGE?

>> YEAH.

>> YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S IN HIS

FORTIES, NOT ME. NEXT TIME YOU

WANT A SYMPATHY SCREW, YOU

MIGHT TRY SHOWING A LITTLE MORE

SYMPATHY. I DIDN'T COME HERE TO

WALLOW IN YOUR MISERY.

>> * THEN THE LIQUID

PASSING ALL INTO ALL *

>> * LOVE IS HOT *

>> * LOVE IS HOT

TRUTH IS MOLTEN

TRUE, TRUE, TRUE, TRUE

THE SONG HE SANG

WHILE THE LEAVES COOKED... *

>> YEAH! WHOO!

>> HA HA HA!

>> AHH.

>> HA HA HA!

>> OHH, OHH.

THAT WAS THE MOST AMAZING SEX

I'VE EVER HAD.

>> REALLY?

>> OH, YEAH. DOING IT IN THE

CHAIR LIKE THAT. NOW I'M

ADDICTED. HOW SOON CAN YOU BE

READY AGAIN? HA HA HA!

>> * GOO GOO, GOO GOO

BARABAJAGAL

WAS HIS NAME NOW

GOO GOO, GOO GOO BARABAJAGAL

WAS HIS NAME NOW

GOO GOO, GOO GOO BARABAJAGAL

WAS HIS NAME NOW

GOO GOO, GOO GOO BARABAJAGAL

WAS HIS NAME NOW

GOO GOO *

>> LIPO, GIVE ME THIS, GIVE ME

THIS. OH, I'VE GOT YOU, GOT YOU.

[LIPO GROWLING]

GIVE ME THIS. GIVE ME THAT. HA

HA HA! OH, MY--I CANNOT BELIEVE

HOW BIG LIPO HAS GOTTEN.

>> HEH.

>> [SIGHS]

DO YOU WANT ME TO STAY OVER

WITH WILBER WHILE YOU'RE IN THE

HOSPITAL?

>> THE NANNY WILL BE HERE WITH

SEAN.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT WILBER? I

MEAN, YOU LIKE HIM, RIGHT, MORE

THAN JUST ANY KID?

>> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

>> I JUST--I--I NEED TO--I NEED

TO HEAR YOU SAY IT. I NEED TO

KNOW THAT YOU...

THAT YOU LIKE HIM.

>> I LOVE WILBER, CHRISTIAN.

YOU KNOW THAT.

>> HEY, BUDDY. WHY DON'T YOU

TAKE LIPO OUT TO THE BALCONY,

PLAY WITH HIM OUT THERE FOR A

BIT? COME ON. LIPO, OUTSIDE.

>> LIPO, GO.

>> AHEM.

WILBER'S GONNA NEED SOME

STABILITY IN HIS LIFE IF

SOMETHING HAPPENS TO ME. I WANT

YOU TO RAISE HIM. I KNOW WHAT

IT'S LIKE TO BOUNCE AROUND FROM

PARENT TO PARENT, AND HE'S

PRETTY MUCH LOST ONE OF HIS

EVERY YEAR OF HIS LIFE, SO...

HE LOVES YOU, TRUSTS YOU. I

THINK HE DESERVES A GOOD MOTHER.

>> OK.

>> THAT'S IT? YOU'RE NOT GONNA

TELL ME HOW CRAZY I AM FOR

WORRYING ABOUT THIS?

>> I HAVE KNOWN A LOT OF PEOPLE

WITH BREAST CANCER. SOME OF

THEM HAVE MADE IT, AND SOME OF

THEM HAVE NOT. AS YOUR FRIEND,

I THINK THAT YOU'RE GONNA BE

AROUND FOR THE NEXT 50 YEARS

PISSING ME OFF. AS A DOCTOR, I

THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA THAT YOU

GET ALL YOUR AFFAIRS IN ORDER.

I JUST WANT TO BE AS HONEST

WITH YOU AS YOU WOULD BE WITH

ME. YOU DESERVE THAT.

>> [DISTORTED VOICE ON P.A.]

DR. DAVIS, TELEPHONE, PLEASE.

>> I DON'T THINK YOU GUYS

REALLY UNDERSTAND. WITHOUT MY

BREAST, HOW AM I EVER GONNA

FEEL LIKE A REAL WOMAN AGAIN?

>> SILLY ME. I THOUGHT THIS

EXPERIENCE MIGHT JUST MAKE YOU

THE TEENIEST BIT SENSITIVE TO

WHAT SOME WOMEN HAVE TO GO

THROUGH.

>> YOU'RE GONNA DO JUST FINE.

>> ABSOLUTELY. DR. MOSS IS THE

BEST THERE IS.

>> AT LEAST YOU COULD DO THE

CUTTING, HUH? YOU'RE THE ONLY

SURGEON I TRUST.

>> MOSS IS YOUR MAN. I'LL STICK

AROUND TO MAKE SURE HE LEAVES

ENOUGH TISSUE FOR A DIEP

PROCEDURE SO WE DON'T HAVE TO

TAKE IT FROM YOUR ASS.

>> I'LL LET YOU OFF THE HOOK

THIS TIME BUT ONLY BECAUSE

YOU'RE DOING THE RECONSTRUCTION.

>> I HATE BEING ON THE OUTSIDE

WITH MY NOSE PRESSED UP AGAINST

THE GLASS, NOT WHEN IT'S FAMILY.

>> * CHANGE YOUR HEART *

* AND LOOK AROUND YOU *

>> THANK YOU.

>> * CHANGE YOUR HEART *

* IT WILL ASTOUND YOU *

>> CAN YOU PLEASE MAKE SURE

THERE ARE CLEAN MARGINS IN

EVERY DIRECTION?

>> DR. McNAMARA, I'M GONNA HAVE

TO ASK YOU TO LEAVE IMMEDIATELY.

>> I GOT CLEARANCE FROM DR.

MARSH. YOU CAN TAKE IT UP WITH

HIM IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH

IT. SEND THE FROZEN SECTION TO

PATHOLOGY. I DON'T WANT HIM

CLOSED UP UNTIL IT'S CLEAR.

>> * EVERYBODY'S GOT TO

LEARN SOMETIME *

* EVERYBODY'S GOT TO

LEARN SOMETIME *

* EVERYBODY'S GOT TO

LEARN SOMETIME

MM, MM, MM *

>> DR. McNAMARA?

>> YES.

>> I'M JO ROSE, COLLEEN'S

SISTER. YOU DIDN'T NEED TO COME

AFTER WHAT SHE DID TO YOU.

>> I WANTED TO MAKE SURE SHE'S

DEAD.

>> * CHANGE YOUR HEART *

* IT WILL ASTOUND YOU *

* I NEED YOUR LOVING

LIKE THE SUNSHINE

EVERYBODY'S GOT TO

LEARN SOMETIME *

* EVERYBODY'S GOT TO

LEARN SOMETIME *

* EVERYBODY'S GOT TO

LEARN SOMETIME

MM, MM, MM *

>> YOU LOOK SO SERENE, COOKIE,

SO AT PEACE. MUST BE A RELIEF.

>> IT IS.

>> NO MORE PAINS, NO MORE

WORRIES, NO RESPONSIBILITIES,

NO DISAPPOINTMENTS, BUT THEY'RE

ALL GONNA REMEMBER YOU EXACTLY

AS YOU ARE NOW--YOUNG, AT THE

HEIGHT OF YOUR VITALITY AND

POWER. YOU HAVE THE COMFORT OF

NEVER-ENDING BLACKNESS NOW AND

THE JOY OF INFINITE FREEDOM.

YOU CAN CATCH UP ON YOUR REST.

[WAVES CRASHING]

>> [GRUNTING]