Original subtitles

>> PREVIOUSLY ON NIP/TUCK...

>> BOB LEVITZ, CREATIVE ARTISTS

AGENCY.

>> YOU THOUGHT, "I'LL JUST MAKE

A FEW SNIDE REMARKS AND THEN

SEAN WILL BE ALL YOURS!"

>> THIS IS THE END OF OUR

RELATIONSHIP. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

>> DARLING, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

>> EMME, THIS IS MATT.

>> THESE LAST DATES HAVE JUST

BEEN SO AMAZING. I MET MY

FATHER.

>> WHO IS HE?

>> MY PLASTIC SURGEON. DR. TROY.

>> YOU'VE BEEN POISONING ME.

>> AAH!

>> MS. RICHARDS, TELL US--

>> WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO

YOU? JESUS.

>> YEAH, I ASSUME YOU'RE

REFERRING TO MY TITS--GALE AND

BOZINA. LOOK AT THIS. I'M LIKE A

LEANING HUMAN TOWER OF PISA. I

HAVE TO USE EVERY BIT OF MY

STRENGTH NOT TO KEEP GOING

AROUND IN CIRCLES.

>> WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR EYES?

>> WHAT? YOU MEAN MY

DEER-IN-HEADLIGHTS LOOK? ALL I

WANTED WAS A LITTLE FAT SUCKED

FROM MY LIDS. NOW I LOOK LIKE

LIZA ON CRACK! AND MY LIPS. I

MEAN, I JUST WANTED MY LIPS TO

BE MORE KISSABLE FOR MY

CO-STARS.

>> THEY'VE BEEN OVER-INJECTED

WITH SILICON WOULD BE MY GUESS.

>> WHO DID THIS TO YOU?

>> DR. KUNCHAI. HE'S THE CHIEF

RESIDENT AT THE TOP

RECONSTRUCTIVE SURGERY CENTER

IN BANGKOK.

>> WHY WOULD YOU GO TO THAILAND

FOR PLASTIC SURGERY WHEN YOU

COULD'VE COME HERE?

>> WHAT? AND LET THE TABLOIDS

GET WIND OF IT? OH, COME ON, I

HAVE AN IMAGE TO PROTECT. I'M A

GODDAMN ICON.

>> I'M SORRY. I HAVE NO IDEA WHO

YOU ARE.

>> TELL HIM. TELL HIM WHO I AM.

>> CANDY RICHARDS.

>> DAMN STRAIGHT.

>> RIGHT.

>> SHE DID AN ARC ON HEARTS 'N

SCALPELS, PUSSY LIPS.

>> OH.

>> I HAVE HAD A RECURRING ROLE

ON EVERY NIGHTTIME DRAMA SINCE

JUDGING-- GODDAMN-- AMY. I'VE

BEEN MURDERED ON LAW AND ORDER:

S.V.U. AND TRIAL BY JURY. AND

I'VE BEEN HACKED TO DEATH ON

C.S.I. THEY'RE STILL TALKING

ABOUT HOW TERRIFYING MY HEAD

LOOKED IN THE FREEZER. YOU KNOW,

I SUPPOSE I'M GOING TO HAVE TO

KISS THAT COLD CASE GOODBYE. I

MEAN, HOW CAN I PLAY A SUPREME

COURT JUSTICE WITH ONE BIG

OVERSIZED TIT AND POP EYES?

>> LOOK, WE CAN TRY TO FIX WHAT

WAS DONE TO YOU IN THAILAND.

>> OK. BUT YOU KNOW I HAVE TO BE

PROTECTED FROM THE PRESS. THE

PRESS CANNOT KNOW ABOUT THIS.

>> IF YOU DON'T TELL THEM, THEY

WON'T KNOW.

>> MS. RICHARDS, I KNOW HOW BUSY

YOU ARE, HOW SOON WOULD YOU LIKE

THIS DONE?

[FAME BEGINS]

>> * I'M GONNA LIVE FOREVER,

I'M GONNA LEARN HOW TO FLY *

>> * HIGH *

>> * I FEEL IT COMING TOGETHER,

PEOPLE WILL SEE ME AND CRY *

>> * FAME *

>> * I'M GONNA MAKE IT

TO HEAVEN,

LIGHT UP THE SKY LIKE A FLAME *

>> * FAME *

>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, CANDY

RICHARDS, LEGEND IN HER OWN

MIND.

>> SHE'S JUST CHASING WHAT

EVERYONE ELSE IS CHASING. AT

LEAST SHE GETS WORK. YOU SHOULD

SEE SOME OF THE PEOPLE IN MY

ACTING CLASS.

>> YOU'RE TAKING AN ACTING

CLASS?

>> MM-HMM.

>> DON'T YOU DO ENOUGH ACTING IN

THE BARS PICKING UP THE WOMEN,

PRETENDING THAT YOU'RE CHARMING

AND LIKABLE?

>> JESUS, YOU'VE REALLY FALLEN

FOR THIS HOLLYWOOD SHIT, HAVEN'T

YOU?

>> HYPOCRISY DOESN'T BECOME

YOU, SEAN. FAME IS THE V.I.P.

PASS TO WHATEVER YOU WANT. AND

EVERYBODY WANTS IT, INCLUDING

ME.

>> WELL, TAKE MINE. PEOPLE COME

UP TO ME AND WANT MY AUTOGRAPH

BECAUSE I PLAY A DOCTOR ON TV. I

PRETEND TO DO THE THING I

ACTUALLY DO AND SUDDENLY I'M

COOL.

>> WHAT HAPPENED TO BECOMING

FAMOUS FOR BEING REALLY GOOD AT

SOMETHING?

>> IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU DO

ANYMORE, LIZZIE. IT'S HOW MANY

PEOPLE HEAR ABOUT.

>> HEH.

[MEDICAL MACHINE BEEPS SOFTLY]

>> WHAT'S THE MATTER?

>> CLOSE IT UP. JULIA'S

BEEN SHOT.

>> * MAKE ME BEAUTIFUL *

* MAKE ME,

A PERFECT SOUL,

A PERFECT MIND,

A PERFECT FACE,

A PERFECT...

LIFE *

>> SHE PUT THE GUN TO HER HEAD.

I BEGGED HER NOT TO. I KEPT

SAYING HOW MUCH MOM LOVED HER

AND ANNIE.

>> WHAT DID SHE SAY?

>> SHE SAID SHE HAD BECOME A

BURDEN TO EVERYBODY. THAT SHE

WAS HIDEOUS. THAT SHE COULDN'T

LOOK IN THE MIRROR. SHE DIDN'T

EVEN RECOGNIZED HERSELF. I

MEAN--

>> IT'S OK, BABY.

YOU TRIED TO STOP HER.

>> IS THAT WHEN YOU CALLED 911?

>> I WAS ABOUT TO...WHEN SHE

PULLED THE TRIGGER. THEN SHE

FELL TO THE FLOOR. THERE WAS

BLOOD EVERYWHERE.

>> THE BULLET ENTERED AT A

STRANGE ANGLE.

IF SHE WAS HOLDING A GUN TO

THE SIDE OF HER HEAD--

>> I TRIED TO KNOCK HER ARM

AWAY. BUT I COULDN'T STOP HER.

>> DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. IF

THE GUN WAS IN THE NIGHT TABLE

BY THE BED, WHY DIDN'T SHE JUST

SHOOT HERSELF IN THERE? SO SHE

CAN SHOOT HERSELF IN FRONT OF

YOU?!

>> SHE'S UPSET, SEAN. DON'T PUSH

HER. SHE CAN'T KNOW WHAT WAS IN

JULIA'S MIND.

>> THE JULIA YOU AND I KNOW

WOULDN'T TRY TO TAKE HER OWN

LIFE. SHE WOULDN'T DO THAT TO

HER KIDS! WHY DIDN'T SHE LEAVE A

NOTE?! THERE'S SOMETHING--

THERE'S SOMETHING

YOU'RE NOT TELLING US.

>> YOU'RE UPSET. DR. McNAMARA,

WHY NOT LEAVE THE INVESTIGATION

TO THE POLICE?

>> LOOK, I'VE TREATED ENOUGH

SUICIDE ATTEMPTS TO KNOW THAT

WOMEN DON'T USUALLY CHOOSE A GUN

TO END IT. THEY'RE MUCH TOO

VAIN.

>> SHE HAD NO VANITY LEFT, SEAN!

>> YOU'RE LYING, EDEN! TELL US

WHAT REALLY HAPPENED GODDAMN IT!

>> DR. McNAMARA.

>> MY 18-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER'S

BEEN TRAUMATIZED. DO YOU

UNDERSTAND? COULD YOU TRY TO

REMEMBER THAT AND STOP

DEFLECTING YOUR OWN GUILT ONTO

HER?

>> MY GUILT? FOR WHAT?

>> WELL, CLEARLY YOU DIDN'T

UNDERSTAND HOW DEPRESSED JULIA

WAS. YOU NEVER ACCEPTED THE

DEPTH OF HER DESPAIR DURING YOUR

MARRIAGE EITHER. YOUR LYING,

CHEATING. SHE SAID THE ONLY WAY

FOR HER TO GET YOUR ATTENTION

WAS TO SCREAM AT YOU OR SCREW

YOU. SO THE FACT IS, YOU NEVER

KNEW HER WELL ENOUGH TO KNOW SHE

WOULD DO THIS TO HERSELF.

[FOOTSTEPS]

>> THEY'RE TRYING TO PLAY THIS

OFF AS A SUICIDE ATTEMPT.

>> MAYBE SHE WAS DEPRESSED.

>> ARE YOU KIDDING?

>> WE'VE SEEN PATIENTS WITH

CHRONIC ILLNESS. TAKES THE LIFE

OUT OF YOU. THAT PLUS THE FACT

THAT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 25

YEARS, SHE DIDN'T HAVE EITHER OF

US TO TURN TO.

>> JESUS, CHRISTIAN, I KNOW

YOU'RE AN EGO MANIAC, BUT EVEN

YOU MUST KNOW THAT JULIA

WOULDN'T KILL HERSELF JUST

BECAUSE YOU DUMPED HER. THE ONLY

THING YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE FOR IS

HELPING HER BUY THAT GUN.

>> ALL RIGHT.

HERE'S WHAT WE KNOW.

THE BULLET PENETRATED THE

CALVARIUM NEAR THE TEMPORAL

LOBE. IT SEEMS TO HAVE GRAZED

THE DURA AND EXITED WITHOUT ANY

DIRECT BRAIN PENETRATION.

>> IS THERE A SUBDURAL HEMOTOMA?

>> WELL, THAT WAS OUR MAJOR

CONCERN. WE INSERTED A

VENTRICULOSTOMY TO RELIEVE THE

PRESSURE. BUT THERE WAS

CONSIDERABLE SWELLING.

>> WILL THERE BE ANY LONG-TERM

DAMAGE?

>> PROBABLY.

>> HOW LONG WILL SHE BE

COMATOSE?

>> YOU'RE BOTH DOCTORS, SO I

WON'T BULLSHIT. I DON'T KNOW.

COULD BE AN HOUR, MONTH.

COULD BE CONSIDERABLY LONGER.

>> WOW.

NICE OFFICE.

>> WE LIKE TO MAKE ALL OUR

PATIENTS FEEL COMFORTABLE. AHEM.

>> YEP.

>> YOU WERE VERY GOOD AT THAT IF

I REMEMBER CORRECTLY.

>> SO, DARLENE, TELL ME WHAT YOU

DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF.

>> HEH.

YOU REALLY DON'T REMEMBER ME, DO

YOU? OF COURSE, IT HAS BEEN 25

YEARS. AND THEY'VE BEEN A LOT

KINDER TO YOU, I MUST SAY.

>> WE'VE MET BEFORE.

>> 1982. FT. LAUDERDALE. SPRING

BREAK.

YOU WERE JUST STARTING COLLEGE,

I THINK, AND I SERVED YOU A

DRINK AT THE SAND DAB EVEN

THOUGH I KNEW YOU WERE UNDER

AGE.

>> STILL NOT COMING TO ME.

>> WELL, THAT'S FUNNY BECAUSE

IT'S SO CLEAR IN MY MIND. BUT A

WOMAN NEVER DOES FORGET HER

FIRST.

>> YOUR FIRST, REALLY? IT MIGHT

HAVE BEEN A LONG TIME AGO, BUT I

THINK I WOULD REMEMBER SLEEPING

WITH SOMEBODY AS...DYNAMIC AS

YOURSELF.

>> I DIDN'T LOSE THE LEGS UNTIL

'98. DIABETES. EVERYTHING ELSE

JUST SORT OF FOLLOWED SUIT AFTER

THAT. BUT I WAS QUITE A KNOCKOUT

IN MY HEYDAY. HERE. THIS'LL JAR

YOUR MEMORY.

>> WOW. THAT WAS YOU.

>> YEAH.

YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED MUCH. AND

THAT'S HOW I WAS SO SURE THAT IT

WAS YOU WHEN I SAW YOUR PICTURE

IN PLAYGIRL MAGAZINE. MY

SUBSCRIPTION IS KINDA THE ONLY

ACTION I'VE BEEN GETTING THESE

DAYS, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

>> DOES LOOK A LOT LIKE ME.

>> YOU STILL DON'T BELIEVE ME?

>> AHH.

MY FIRST YEARS IN COLLEGE WERE

MEMORABLE IN THE SENSE THAT I

DON'T REALLY REMEMBER THAT MUCH.

I'D BE LYING IF I SAID THAT I

DID. EVEN IF WE HAD A THING

ONCE. BUT WHY DON'T WE GET BACK

TO HOW--

>> A THING?

WE HAD MORE THAN JUST A THING,

CHRISTIAN. WE HAD A DAUGHTER.

EMME LOWELL CAME IN HERE A

COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO. HAD THAT

BIRTHMARK REMOVED FROM HER FACE.

WELL, SHE SLEPT WITH YOUR SON.

AND NOW I'M HERE TO TELL YOU

THEY ARE IN LOVE, AND WE GOTTA

DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT.

>> DON'T GIVE 'EM TOO MUCH,

SWEETHEART.

>> SO WHAT'D YOU WANT TO TALK

ABOUT?

>> FIRST OF ALL, I NEED YOU TO

KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU. NO

MATTER WHAT, I'M YOUR DAD. I'M

HERE. AND I AM NOT GOING

ANYWHERE. YOU UNDERSTAND?

>> WHAT'S WRONG?

DADDY, WHAT'S WRONG?

IS IT MOMMY?

[MUFFLED VOICES YELLING]

>> I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, HONEY.

>> GET YOUR FAT ASS OUT OF MY

WAY!

>> OK, LISTEN, YOU HAVE A

RESTRAINING ORDER, OK? YOU GOTTA

GET OFF THE PREMISES RIGHT THIS

WAY.

>> YOU NEED TO LEAVE RIGHT NOW,

COLLEEN. YOU'RE BREAKING THE

LAW.

>> OH, SEAN, I JUST NEED YOUR

HELP, PLEASE. I APOLOGIZE,

LIZ. I DIDN'T MEAN TO TALK LIKE

THAT. IT'S JUST I'M EMOTIONAL.

I DIDN'T MEAN TO SCARE YOU.

>> I'VE GOT A FAMILY CRISIS AND

REAL PATIENTS WHO REQUIRE MY

ATTENTION. YOU NEED TO LEAVE.

>> I JUST NEED YOU TO FIX

THESE FOR ME. PLEASE, YOU OWE ME

THAT MUCH.

>> WE'VE GOT NO MORE BUSINESS

TOGETHER. ZERO! YOU SHOULD BE IN

A HOSPITAL.

>> THEY KICKED ME OUT BECAUSE I

DON'T HAVE ANY INSURANCE. LOOK,

I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. ALL

RIGHT? I'M JUST SOME GIRL FROM

OHIO. AND I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO

PROTECT MYSELF. IT'S JUST LIKE

THOSE TWISTERS BACK HOME WHEN

FAMILIES WHERE CARRIED AWAY IN

THEIR BEDS. I GOT CAUGHT UP IN

THE INSANITY OF THE FAME GAME.

AND IT DESTROYED ME.

>> COLLEEN, COME ON.

>> NO. PLEASE, SEAN, JUST HELP

ME START OVER. JUST SOME PLACE

NEW. I COULD OPEN UP A BED AND

BREAKFAST. BUT I CAN'T DO

ANYTHING WITH THESE SCARS. EVERY

GASH JUST SCREAMS, "SHE'S SOME

SUICIDAL LUNATIC. SHE'S A

SELF-PITYING LOSER!"

>> COLLEEN, I AM WALKING TO THE

PHONE, AND I AM CALLING THE

POLICE RIGHT NOW.

>> YOU DID THIS TO ME. AND YOU

WILL FIX THEM!

>> ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO. COME ON.

COME HERE. GIVE ME A HAND.

>> COME ON, YOU STUPID OLD

BITCH.

>> YOU'RE A MURDERER! YOU

DESTROYED MY SOUL.

YOU'LL BE SORRY FOR THIS,

I SWEAR!

>> LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU

UNDERSTAND? THIS IS IT FOR US!

THIS IS IT! I'M GOING INSIDE AND

I'M CALLING THE POLICE.

>> FREAK.

>> MOM, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU

ACTUALLY GOT ON A PLANE.

>> WELL, WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO

DO? LEAVE YOU HERE ALONE WHILE I

KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON?

>> I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY

TOLD HER.

>> I TELL MOM EVERYTHING.

>> YOU KNOW, BY THE WAY, MRS.

LOWELL, IT IS NICE TO MEET YOU--

>> ALL RIGHT, YOU NEED TO STOP

THE ASS KISSING. YOU HEAR ME?

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SCORE ANY

POINTS HERE.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT, MAN? THINGS

ARE STRESSFUL ENOUGH AS IT IS

RIGHT NOW WITH MOM BEING IN THE

HOSPITAL. DO YOU REALLY NEED TO

GET SO WOUND UP?

>> WOUND UP? IF YOU'RE MOTHER

WAS HERE, HER HEAD WOULD BE

SPINNING RIGHT AROUND.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE TO SAY

THIS, BUT YOU CAN'T SLEEP WITH

YOUR SISTER AGAIN.

>> YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING

ON HERE.

>> OH, REALLY? ENLIGHTEN ME.

>> JUST SO THAT I'M CLEAR. YOU

DID TELL ME THAT YOU SLEPT

TOGETHER, RIGHT?

>> BUT WE DIDN'T KNOW WE COULD

BE RELATED AT THE TIME. WE JUST

FELT THIS CONNECTION.

>> YEAH. IT'S CALLED D.N.A.

>> WELL, IF YOU MEAN IT WAS THE

MOST INTENSE REAL CHEMICAL-LIKE

JOINING OF 2 SOULS THAT I'VE

EVER FELT, THEN YEAH, MAN,

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS.

>> WHAT? WHAT IS THE MATTER

WITH YOU? YOU HAVE SOME KIND OF

MENTAL ILLNESS. EVERY DECISION

YOU MAKE IS ABSOLUTE BAT SHIT.

>> WELL, HEY, LIKE FATHER LIKE

SON.

>> LOOK, HOW MANY WOMEN HAVE YOU

BEDDED IN YOUR LIFETIME,

CHRISTIAN, HUH? COUPLE THOUSAND?

NOW OTHER THAN ME, NO MISTAKES

HAVE COME FORWARD CLAIMING

PATERNITY. SO WHEN EMME TOLD ME

HER STORY, QUITE FRANKLY I

DIDN'T THINK IT HELD WATER. I'M

SORRY, DARLENE, BUT I DIDN'T

BELIEVE YOU.

>> IF YOUR FATHER AND I HANDED

YOU PROOF, WOULD YOU BELIEVE ME?

LOOK, I KNOW THAT YOU ARE BOTH

IN DENIAL, BUT THAT'S WHY WE HAD

THE BLOOD WORK DONE AND MATCHED

AGAINST YOUR MEDICAL RECORDS.

EMME, HE'S YOUR FATHER.

>> REALLY?

SO THEN YOU AND I ARE REALLY--

>> THAT'S OK. STEP KIDS

SEPARATED A FEW YEARS EXCHANGING

FAMILY FLUIDS IS NOT THE END OF

THE WORLD. BUT YOU HAVE TO STOP

NOW. ALL RIGHT? YOU NEED TO

SETTLE THINGS DOWN.

>> SO, WE'RE ALL FAMILY NOW?

>> OH, LET'S NOT GET

SENTIMENTAL, ALL RIGHT. CONNECT

THE DOTS WHEN WE NEED TO--WHERE

ARE YOU GOING?!

>> I GOTTA SEE MOM. I CAN'T BE

HERE RIGHT NOW.

>> OH, YOU LET HIM GO,

SWEETHEART.

>> HE'S MY BROTHER. I CAN STILL

BE THERE FOR SUPPORT, RIGHT?

>> DO YOU DRINK?

>> OH, YEAH. WHERE DO YOU KEEP

THE GOOD STUFF?

>> WHAT ARE WE LOOKING AT,

NURSE?!

>> 33-YEAR-OLD MALE PHOTOGRAPHER

WAS OUTSIDE THE IVY. MADE THE

MISTAKE OF TRYING TO PHOTOGRAPH

RUSSELL CROWE, WOUND UP WITH A

CAMERA IMBEDDED IN HIS RECTUM.

>> WHO ARE THOSE PEOPLE?

>> OH, THOSE ARE HIS FRIENDS,

DOCTOR. THE OTHER PAPARAZZI.

>> HE'S GOING TO NEED SURGERY.

WE'LL MAKE A SMALL PFANNENSTEIL

INCISION, DO A LAPAROTOMY, AND

WE'LL HAVE HIM BACK ON THE

BOULEVARD COMPROMISING CELEBRITY

PRIVACY IN NO TIME. AND PEOPLE,

LET'S TRY AND SAVE THAT CAMERA.

IT'S A DAMN GOOD LEICA.

15 BLADE.

>> CUT!

>> HOW'D YOU GET BACK ON THE

LOT, COLLEEN? YOUR OLD PASS?

>> YOU KNOW ME, SEAN. I NEVER

TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER.

>> SOMEBODY GET SECURITY. GET

THIS CRAZY BITCH OUT OF HERE.

THERE'S A RESTRAINING ORDER OUT

ON HER!

>> YOU! YOU WILL RECOGNIZE ME AS

THE TRUE GREATNESS IN YOUR LIFE

IF IT TAKES ME TO MY LAST

BREATH. SEAN, PLEASE DON'T LET

THEM TAKE ME. PLEASE, NO! NO!

>> YOU NEED TO PRESS CHARGES,

SEAN. SHE NEEDS TO BE LOCKED UP.

[LAUGHING]

>> ...AND THEN EMME SAYS, "IT'S

NOT MINE, OFFICER. IT'S MY

RACCOON."

[CHRISTIAN LAUGHING]

>> SHE MUST HAVE BEEN A FUNNY

KID.

DO YOU REALIZE THAT THE ONLY ONE

OF MY 3 CHILDREN THAT I ACTUALLY

TAKE CARE OF IS THE ONLY ONE

THAT ISN'T MINE?

>> WELL, AFTER GETTING TO KNOW

YOU, I THINK THAT'S FOR THE

BEST.

HOW'S MATT'S MOM DOING?

>> SHE'S FINE.

>> NO, DON'T YOU PEE ON MY BACK

AND TELL ME IT'S RAIN.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

>> IT'S KINDA WEIRD. I FEEL

RESPONSIBLE. WITH HER AND EMME,

IT'S BEEN KIND OF A SURREAL

WEEK.

>> WELL, TO HOLLYWOOD--LAND OF

THE SURREAL.

>> HA HA HA.

YOU KNOW WHAT, DARLENE? I CAN'T

REMEMBER DOING YOU, BUT I CAN

SEE WHY I DID.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

>> IT'S NOTHING.

IT'S JUST--I'M SUCH AN IDIOT. I

HAVEN'T GOTTEN MANY COMPLIMENTS

SINCE...

I FIGURE I AM AN 8. BUT SINCE

HALF OF ME IS GONE, I'M ONLY A

4.

>> YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL, DARLENE. I

MEAN A LITTLE WET AROUND THE

EDGES. BUT YOU'RE STILL VERY

BEAUTIFUL.

SERIOUSLY.

>> OH, I HAVEN'T BEEN KISSED

LIKE THAT IN A LONG TIME,

CHRISTIAN.

[PASSIONATE GRUNTING/MOANING]

>> [GRUNTS]

WELL, I HAVEN'T HAD THAT MUCH TO

DRINK IN A LONG TIME.

>> HEH.

DO YOU HAVE TO GO TO WORK?

>> YEAH. SURGERY IN AN HOUR.

YOU GONNA BE OK GETTING OUT OF

HERE ON YOUR OWN. I MEAN, DO I

HAVE TO ORDER YOU SOME KIND OF

SPECIAL CAB OR SOMETHING BECAUSE

OF YOUR LEGS?

>> I CAN HANDLE MYSELF.

>> THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.

>> I KNOW.

I DO EVERY NIGHT.

>> EXCUSE ME.

>> YOU SAID YOU NEVER DRANK LIKE

THAT. I DO EVERY NIGHT.

12 PACK OF BEER HELPS ME SLEEP.

>> I'M SORRY, DARLENE. I

SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THIS.

>> NO. NO, I'M GLAD YOU DID.

THE TRUTH IS I HAVEN'T BEEN LAID

IN A LONG TIME. AND LAST TIME

WASN'T HALF AS GOOD AS THAT

RIDE.

GOD, I'M SO OLD. YOU KNOW, I

SPENT THE LAST 25 YEARS

FANTASYING ABOUT YOU, WONDERING

HOW'D YOU TURN OUT.

>> HOW'S REALITY COMPARED TO

FANTASY?

>> I HAVE A REALLY GOOD

IMAGINATION.

WILL YOU DO SOMETHING FOR ME?

>> SURE.

>> WILL YOU MAKE ME LOOK LIKE

YOU MADE ME FEEL LAST NIGHT?

>> YOU WANT ME TO OPERATE ON

YOU?

>> YEAH.

I SPENT MY YOUTH ON EMME. AND

THAT WAS A GOOD DEAL. I WOULD DO

THAT AGAIN TODAY. BUT I THINK

SOMEHOW I JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD

ALL COME BACK. AND THEN I LOST

MY LEGS BECAUSE OF THE DIABETES.

IT ALL SLIPPED AWAY. I KNOW I'M

NOT GOING TO GET THAT TIME BACK.

AND I ALSO KNOW THAT I'M SURELY

NOT GETTING MY LEGS BACK. BUT

MAYBE YOU CAN GIVE ME MY FACE

BACK.

>> YOU WANT TO TAKE A SHOWER

FIRST?

[INDISTINCT MUTTERING]

>> OH, DOCTOR, I LOVE YOU! MUAH!

MUAH! OW. YOU'RE THE BOMB.

AND I AM THE BOMB. ACTUALLY, I'M

A GHOST. MY AGENT JUST CALLED.

AND I JUST GOT AN OFFER TO PLAY

A RUSSIAN BALLERINA ON THE GHOST

WHISPERER. SHE HAS A VERY BAD

BRAIN ANEURYSM. SHE DIES DURING

A VERY TRAGIC PAS DE DEUX.

THAT'S WHY I HAVE TO PERFECT MY

RONDE DE JAMBES. WHEN CAN I

START BALLET CLASS? WE SHOOT IN

A WEEK.

>> CANDY, YOU NEED TO GET BACK

INTO BED OR YOUR SWELLING WON'T

GO DOWN. YOU WON'T EVEN BE ABLE

TO SHOOT FROM A WHEELCHAIR.

>> YOU KNOW THIS IS GOING TO BE

SUCH A GREAT ROLE FOR MY RETURN.

>> EXCUSE ME.

>> HEY, EXCUSE ME! THIS IS A

PRIVATE ROOM AND THERE WILL BE

NO AUTOGRAPHS.

>> I'M SORRY. MY NAME IS GARY

GOLD. AND I'M--I'M BOB LEVITZ'S

PARTNER.

>> SO, YOU WORKED WITH BOB AT

C.A.A.?

>> UH, NO. NO. I MEANT LIFE

PARTNERS.

UH, PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR THIS

INTRUSION. BUT, UH, I'M GOING

INSANE. YOU'RE ONE OF THE LAST

PEOPLE TO SEE HIM. AND I'M SORRY

BUT I REALLY CAN'T WRAP MY MIND

AROUND THIS WHOLE I'M LEAVING

YOU AND GOING TO DARFUR THING.

>> HIS SUDDEN DEPARTURE WAS A

SURPRISE. THERE WERE NO SIGNS

THAT HE WAS DISSATISFIED WITH

HIS LIFE.

>> A SURPRISE? HOW ABOUT YOUR

COULD HAVE KNOCKED ME OVER WITH

A FEATHER? LOOK, I LOVE BOB.

HE'S A TON OF FUN. HE'S GREAT IN

BED. BUT A HUMANITARIAN? WE

DON'T EVEN RECYCLE. LOOK, I'M AT

MY WITS END. THE POLICE REFUSE

TO CONSIDER HIM A MISSING

PERSON, AND THEY'RE SICK AND

TIRED OF ME--

>> WAIT, WAIT--GO BACK A SECOND.

THE POLICE?

ARE YOU SAYING YOU SUSPECT FOUL

PLAY?

>> YEAH.

>> I DON'T MEAN TO BE

INSENSITIVE, BUT HAVE YOU

CONSIDERED...

>> OH, NO. NO. NO. HE DIDN'T RUN

OFF WITH SOME TWINK OR DISAPPEAR

TO A CARIBBEAN ISLAND WITH A NEW

IDENTITY. NO. DIDN'T HAPPEN. I

KNOW SOMEONE FORCED HIM TO WRITE

THAT EMAIL OR SOMEONE ELSE WROTE

IT ON HIS BLACKBERRY PRETENDING

TO BE HIM. I JUST DON'T KNOW WHO

THAT PERSON WOULD BE.

>> YES, THIS IS DR. McNAMARA.

I'M CALLING ABOUT JULIA

McNAMARA. UH-HUH...YES...

HOW'S HER I.C.P. LOOKING? AND

HOW MUCH C.S.F. HAVE YOU TAPPED

OFF...THAT'S GOOD...ALL RIGHT.

AND THE VENTRIC IS WORKING

PROPERLY? OK.

NO. I'M NOT IN FAVOR OF PUTTING

HER INTO A HYPOTHERMIC COMA. NO.

I--I THINK IT'S TOO RISKY. AND

IT'S TOO SOON...

I'D RATHER STICK WITH THE

CURRENT PROTOCOL--

>> YOU'RE PAYING FOR A NEW

ARMOIRE.

>> SHE STUFFED HIM?

JESUS, WHAT A HORRIBLE WAY TO

GO.

>> ANYTHING?

>> HER PASSPORT WAS SCANNED AT

THE TIJUANA BORDER CROSSING. THE

FEDS ARE ON IT, THOUGH. THEY

GOTTA LOT OF GOOD CONNECTIONS

WITH THE POLICIA DOWN THERE.

WE'LL GET HER BACK.

>> HOW DELUDED COULD I HAVE

BEEN? I'M NOT STUPID. I KNOW HOW

TO READ PEOPLE. I CAN SPOT A NUT

IN A CONSULT BEFORE THEY SIT

DOWN.

>> I GUESS YOU WERE JUST BLINDED

BY THE LIGHT OF YOUR BIG SHINING

STAR. LET'S FACE IT, THAT'S

SHOW'S BEEN NOTHING BUT PROBLEMS

SINCE DAY ONE.

>> IT'S NOT THE SHOW. THE SHOW'S

BEEN GOOD FOR BUSINESS AND FOR

ME.

>> YOU SEE? YOU'RE SO DRUNK ON

YOUR OWN 15 MINUTES, YOU CAN'T

SEE THIS IS WRECKING YOUR LIFE!

[MEDICAL MACHINE BEEPING SOFTLY]

>> I APOLOGIZE FOR ATTACKING YOU

BACK AT THE HOUSE. I GOT CAUGHT

UP IN THAT BULLSHIT JUST AS MUCH

YOU DID. MAYBE EVEN MORE. IF I

HADN'T, NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE

HAPPENED. IF I HADN'T DONE THAT

STUPID PLAYGIRL SPREAD, SHE

WOULDN'T HAVE SEEN IT, THEN HER

DAUGHTER--MY DAUGHTER--SHE

WOULDN'T HAVE COME LOOKING FOR

ME. I WOULDN'T HAVE INTRODUCED

HER TO MATT. I MEAN, I

PRACTICALLY FORCED THEM TO SLEEP

WITH EACH OTHER.

>> I'M GONNA GIVE HER SOME

INSULIN. HER PULSE IS ERADICATE.

>> OK.

>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY HELL

WE'RE GONNA DO ABOUT MATT. HE'S

NOT STILL--

>> MM-MMM. IT WAS ONE DUMB

THING, ALL RIGHT. ONCE HE FOUND

OUT SHE WAS HIS--WHATEVER--HE'S

DONE WITH IT--HER.

>> I CAN'T BELIEVE A WORD THAT

COMES OUT OF HIS MOUTH. IT'S THE

ONE GOOD THING ABOUT JULIA BEING

IN A COMA, SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO

KNOW WHAT HE'S DONE.

>> LOOK. I KNOW YOU GUYS GOT

STUFF GOING ON THAT YOU DON'T

WANT TO SHARE WITH ME, AND I

RESPECT THAT. I ALWAYS HAVE. BUT

THERE'S SOMETHING I WANT TO SAY

TO THE BOTH OF YOU.

>> IF WE SAY NO, WILL YOU SAY IT

ANYWAY?

>> HERE'S THE THING. EVERY IDIOT

OUT HERE WANTS TO BE FAMOUS. BUT

YOU--YOU GUYS GOT SOMETHING

BETTER. YOU GOT RESPECT--AS

DOCTORS, AS SKILLED PHYSICIANS.

AND YOU DIDN'T GET THIS

RECOGNITION BY GOING OUT AND

LOOKING FOR IT. YOU GOT IT

BECAUSE YOU GOT TALENT. YOU GOT

INTEGRITY. OK. MAYBE NOT

INTEGRITY. BUT BECAUSE YOU TOOK

ON SOME PRETTY AMAZING CASES

THAT NO ONE ELSE WOULD TOUCH

WITH A 10 FOOT 15 BLADE. SO DO

WHAT YOU DO BEST. DO WHAT YOU DO

BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE AND

SCREW THE REST.

>> THE HOSPITAL JUST CALLED.

JULIA'S AWAKE.

>> THANK YOU. I'M ON MY WAY.

>> WHO WAS THAT?

>> JULIA'S AWAKE. THANK GOD. I'M

GOING OVER IF YOU WANT TO COME.

I NEED TO GO SWEETHEART. IF

YOU'RE COMING--

>> WAIT. THERE'S SOMETHING I

HAVE TO TELL YOU.

YOU HAVE TO HELP ME, MOMMY.

I NEED YOUR HELP.

>> WE'LL TAKE ONE CAR. IT'LL BE

FASTER. IF I DRIVE IT WILL.

>> HEY, PLEASE, DON'T GO OUT

THERE. THEY'RE SWARMING. THE

LOCUSTS.

>> THE WHAT?

>> THE PAPARAZZI. THEY'RE RIGHT

OUTSIDE THE DOOR. AND THEY KNOW

I'M IN HERE. AND THEY ARE DYING

TO GET A PHOTO OF ME

POST-SURGERY.

>> JUST GO BACK TO RECOVERY OR

TAKE THE SIDE DOOR.

>> NO. NO, WHAT I MEANT WAS I

DON'T WANT YOU BLOCKING MY BIG

EXIT. THEY'RE ALL SETTING UP FOR

ME RIGHT NOW. AND I TOLD THEM TO

COME HERE AT 2:00.

>> YOU CALLED THEM? I THOUGHT

YOU DIDN'T WANT ANYBODY TO KNOW

YOU WERE GETTING WORK DONE?

>> YOU KNOW, DOCTOR, IF A TREE

FALLS IN THE WOODS AND 2 DOZEN

NERDS WITH CAMERAS AREN'T THERE

TO PUT IT ONLINE, DOES IT REALLY

MAKE A SOUND? I DON'T THINK SO.

AND YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?

BECAUSE THAT TREE DOESN'T KNOW

WHAT IT TAKES TO BE FAMOUS. AND

I DO. SO IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'D

LIKE YOU DO STAY RIGHT HERE. I

DON'T WANT YOU TO RUIN MY

ENTRANCE.

>> IT'S ME.

>> DR. McNAMARA, WHAT CAN YOU

TELL US ABOUT COLLEEN ROSE?

>> IS IT TRUE SHE HAD AIDEN

FIRED TO FURTHER YOUR CAREER?

>> DID YOU TELL HER TO KILL YOUR

AGENT?

[CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING]

>> WHAT ABOUT YOUR WIFE? WERE

YOU INVOLVED IN HER SHOOTING AS

WELL?

>> BUCK OFF...

>> WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS?

>> YOU'RE A PUBLIC PERSON NOW,

BUDDY BOY. THEY OWN YOU. NOTHING

IS OFF LIMITS.

>> HEY DO WE KNOW ANYTHING?

>> ONLY THAT'S SHE'S AWAKE.

>> HEY, JULES, HOW YA DOIN'?

>> YOU LOOK GOOD.

>> HOW'S IT GOING, MOM?

>> I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE OK.

I WAS SO SCARED.

>> YOU'RE A LOVELY GIRL.

DOES SHE BELONG TO ONE OF YOU?

>> THE DOCTORS CALL IT

RETROGRADE AMNESIA. ALL HER

MEMORIES--EVERYTHING BEFORE THE

GUN SHOT HAVE DISAPPEARED.

>> FOR HOW LONG?

>> NO ONE KNOWS.

>> YOU SURE YOU DON'T MIND?

>> NO, OF COURSE NOT. I'LL TAKE

HER FOR A BITE TO EAT AND MEET

YOU BACK AT THE HOUSE.

>> JUST FEEL LIKE I WANNA STAY A

LITTLE BIT, KEEP HER COMPANY.

>> I GET IT.

HEY, YOU. YOU FEEL LIKE GOING TO

JOHNNY ROCKETS? HUH?

>> COME HERE. I'LL CATCH UP WITH

YOU GUYS LATER, OK?

>> COME ON. LET'S GO GET SOME

BURGERS AND FRIES.

>> WHY DON'T I TAKE A LOOK AT

ALL THAT STITCHING THEY DID?

SEE HOW IT'S COMING ALONG.

THEY DID A GOOD JOB. I COULDN'T

HAVE DONE IT BETTER MYSELF. IT'S

GOOD TO KEEP IT LUBRICATED.

>> ARE YOU A DOCTOR?

>> PLASTIC SURGEON.

>> IS THAT HOW WE KNOW EACH

OTHER? BECAUSE I HAD PLASTIC

SURGERY?

>> NO.

I'M YOU'RE HUSBAND.

WE MET IN COLLEGE.

COLLEGE SWEETHEARTS.

THAT'S WHEN WE GOT MARRIED.

>> [INDISTINCT]

WE'RE STILL MARRIED?

>> WE'RE STILL MARRIED. AND WE

HAVE 3 BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN. AND

WE'RE AS HAPPY NOW AS WE WERE

THEN. AND EVERYTHING IS JUST...

PERFECT.

>> MUSIC?

YOU KNOW, THE FACT THAT YOU'RE

MOM'S TALKING IS A GREAT SIGN.

EVEN IF SHE DOESN'T RECOGNIZE

YOU RIGHT NOW. YOU KNOW IT'S NOT

PERSONAL RIGHT?

>> DOESN'T MATTER. SHE DOESN'T

REALLY KNOW WHO I AM ANYWAY.

>> LOOK, I KNOW HOW HARD THIS IS

FOR YOU...WHAT THE HELL?

>> BEHIND YOU!

WAIT HERE, ALL RIGHT. LOOK, JUST

LEAVE US--WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU

DOING? ALL RIGHT, LOOK, I'M NOT

SEAN. AND YOU'RE SCARING HIS

DAUGHTER.

>> THAT'S WHOSE PICTURE WE WANT.

GET OUT OF THE WAY!

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! JESUS

CHRIST! GET OUT OF MY WAY.

>> WHY WON'T THEY LEAVE US

ALONE?!

>> I DON'T KNOW HONEY. JUST PUT

YOUR HEAD DOWN. OK. WE'RE GONNA

BE FINE, ALL RIGHT? GET THE HELL

OUT OF MY WAY, YOU ASSHOLE!

GET OUT OF THE WAY!

[HORN HONKS]

[CAR ALARM BLARING]

>> THANKS FOR LUNCH, MATT. I'M

GLAD I GOT TO THOSE HANDPRINTS

IN THE CEMENT AT THE CHINESE

THEATER BEFORE I LEFT TOWN.

>> YEAH, ME TOO.

WHAT TIME'S YOUR FLIGHT?

>> 11. THE REDEYE IS PRETTY MUCH

ALL I COULD AFFORD.

I STILL HAVE A FEW HOURS.

WE COULD...

>> WE CAN'T.

LOOK, EM, WE JUST NEED A CLEAN

BREAK. YOU KNOW, MAYBE IN A FEW

MONTHS I'LL COME TO GEORGIA AND

WE CAN FIGURE THIS WHOLE THING

OUT ON HOW TO BE BROTHER AND

SISTER. BUT NOW OUR FEELINGS ARE

JUST TOO STRONG.

>> IT'S NOT LIKE WE'D BE THE

ONLY INBREDS IN THE MOUNTAINS

WHERE I'M FROM.

YOU COULD GET A JOB IN A COAL

MINE. I COULD PULL OUT ALL MY

TEETH.

>> YEAH. I JUST DON'T THINK I'M

READY FOR THE APPALACHIAN

LIFESTYLE JUST YET.

>> I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET AWAY

FROM THOSE FREAKS MY WHOLE LIFE.

>> HEY.

YOU ARE GOING TO GO HOME A

BEAUTIFUL, CONFIDENT WOMAN. AND

GUYS ARE GOING TO BE FALLING ALL

OVER THEMSELVES FOR YOU. AND

YOUR LIFE IS GOING TO OPEN UP IN

A WHOLE NEW WAY.

>> IT ALREADY HAS.

>> YEAH, MINE TOO.

I GOTTA GO.

>> MATT!

>> YEAH.

>> YOU ALL RIGHT?

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I DON'T THINK YOU'RE GOING TO BE

MUCH HELP WITH A BROKEN COLLAR

BONE.

>> I THOUGHT I COULD AT LEAST

LEND SOME SUPPORT IN THERE.

YOU MAD AT ME?

>> I'M MAD AT MYSELF. I FEEL

LIKE A FOOL.

I LOST MYSELF.

LOST MY PRIORITIES, MY VALUES.

I CHASED A DREAM LIKE A SILLY

TEENAGER. NOW LOOK WHAT'S

HAPPENED. CAN'T BLAME YOU FOR

ANYTHING.

>> WE BOTH GOT CAUGHT UP. IT'S

WHAT HAPPENS OUT HERE I GUESS.

>> YEAH, BUT...DON'T YOU THINK

THE MEASURE OF A MAN IS HIS

ABILITY TO MAINTAIN HIS CORE

VALUES NO MATTER WHAT'S GOING ON

AROUND HIM?

>> EASIER SAID THAN DONE.

>> I CALLED FREDDIE. I TOLD HIM

I WANT OUT OF MY HEARTS 'N

SCALPELS CONTRACT.

>> REALLY?

>> REALLY.

WOULD YOU MIND IF I HANDLE

THIS SOLO? I JUST FEEL LIKE I

WANT TO BE ALONE WITH MY

DAUGHTER IN THERE.

>> OF COURSE.

I SHOULD CHECK ON DARLENE

ANYWAY. SHE'S HAD A TOUGH

RECOVERY. A LOT OF PAIN.

EVERYONE'S GOING TO BE OK.

[MEDICAL MACHINE BEEPS SOFTLY]

>> HEY, BABY.

WHAT?

>> I'M AFRAID I'M GONNA HAVE AN

UGLY SCAR.

>> I WAS JUST TELLING ANNIE THAT

YOU ARE A VERY FAMOUS PLASTIC

SURGEON. AND THAT PEOPLE COME

FROM ALL OVER THE COUNTRY FOR

YOUR EXPERTISE.

>> THAT'S ABOUT ALL I WANT TO BE

FAMOUS FOR EVER AGAIN.

I PROMISE YOU'LL BE GOOD AS NEW,

SWEETIE. NOW AUNTIE LIZ IS GOING

TO GIVE YOU SOMETHING SO YOU

DON'T FEEL ANY PAIN. YOU'LL GO

RIGHT TO SLEEP, AND YOUR DAD

WILL SEW YOU UP.

>> I WANT YOU TO COUNT BACK FROM

100 FOR ME, OK?

>> 100...99...

[DAVID BOWIE'S FAME BEGINS]

>> * FAME *

>> * FAME *

>> * MAKES A MAN

TAKE THINGS OVER,

FAME *

>> * FAME *

>> * LETS HIM LOOSE,

HARD TO SWALLOW,

FAME *

>> LIZ CAN YOU GET ME GAUZE AND

TAPE, PLEASE?

>> * FAME *

>> * FAME *

>> * FAME *

>> * FAME, FAME, FAME *

>> IT'S GOING TO BE GOOD FROM

NOW ON, I PROMISE.

>> * FAME *

>> * FAME *

>> I'VE BEEN THINKING, LIZ.

MAYBE IT'S TIME TO PUT DOWN SOME

ROOTS. FIND A PLACE OF MY OWN.

MY KIDS NEED A REAL HOME OUT

HERE. AND SO DO I.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE

HOLLYWOOD HILLS?

UGH!

UNH!

[GURGLING]