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1
00:02:21,571 --> 00:02:24,193
It's them.
2
00:02:48,389 --> 00:02:53,923
Now, Jack, do exactly
what we rehearsed, nothing else.
3
00:02:54,027 --> 00:02:57,345
Say exactly what we agreed,
nothing else.
4
00:02:57,449 --> 00:03:00,525
Certainement, mon Capitain.Ne vous fachez pas.
5
00:03:00,985 --> 00:03:03,358
Very good, Jack.
6
00:03:10,203 --> 00:03:12,280
- See you later.
- Yes.
7
00:04:02,714 --> 00:04:04,588
Messieurs.
8
00:04:20,982 --> 00:04:23,556
Where is the money?
9
00:04:23,735 --> 00:04:27,354
We would like to see the money.
10
00:04:28,406 --> 00:04:30,483
Understand?
11
00:05:45,149 --> 00:05:47,476
One more.
12
00:06:05,378 --> 00:06:08,214
I don't know, mate.
It's nothing to do with me. Honest.
13
00:06:08,381 --> 00:06:10,173
Marcel!
14
00:06:15,138 --> 00:06:17,835
- Get moving.
- What about him?
15
00:06:17,939 --> 00:06:19,344
Get moving.
16
00:06:28,484 --> 00:06:30,561
Get rid of him!
17
00:06:30,736 --> 00:06:34,189
Lose that bastard.
I said, get rid of him!
18
00:06:57,597 --> 00:06:59,555
Get out of here.
19
00:08:21,222 --> 00:08:22,613
Dad!
20
00:08:41,784 --> 00:08:44,912
I'm gonna
21
00:08:45,713 --> 00:08:47,104
die!
22
00:08:53,087 --> 00:08:57,833
Somewhere beyond the sea
23
00:08:58,009 --> 00:09:02,588
Somewhere waiting for me
24
00:09:02,763 --> 00:09:06,216
My lover stands on golden sands
25
00:09:07,435 --> 00:09:11,813
And watches the shipsthat go sailing
26
00:09:13,566 --> 00:09:16,272
Somewhere
27
00:09:16,444 --> 00:09:21,866
Beyond the seashe's there watching for me
28
00:09:23,117 --> 00:09:27,697
If I could fly like birds on high
29
00:09:27,872 --> 00:09:32,416
Then straight to her armsI'd go sailing
30
00:09:34,086 --> 00:09:36,709
It's far
31
00:09:36,881 --> 00:09:41,757
Beyond the stars,It's there beyond the moon
32
00:09:44,096 --> 00:09:49,137
I know beyond a doubt
33
00:09:54,982 --> 00:09:58,845
Sit. Down. Bad doggie, down.
34
00:09:58,950 --> 00:10:02,065
Good doggie! Beg.
35
00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:09,447
Room service, Mr Tommy.
Can I turn down your pants?
36
00:10:10,498 --> 00:10:14,572
- How's the star of the show?
- I'm gonna die.
37
00:10:14,676 --> 00:10:18,493
You're among friends.
We won't let you die!
38
00:10:18,597 --> 00:10:22,163
I don't mean on stage,
although I feel like shit.
39
00:10:22,268 --> 00:10:27,416
- I mean, I'm gonna die!
- What are you talking about?
40
00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:32,504
If I don't do it, make it happen.
You know, find that feeling
41
00:10:32,608 --> 00:10:36,299
in two weeks,
I'm just not gonna live any more.
42
00:10:36,404 --> 00:10:39,179
You mean you feel desperate.
43
00:10:39,284 --> 00:10:45,353
A lot of people feel desperate
before doing something exceptional.
44
00:10:45,458 --> 00:10:50,483
I'm not playing it safe any more.
I'm gonna take it right to the edge.
45
00:10:50,588 --> 00:10:52,650
And do pirouettes.
46
00:10:52,754 --> 00:10:57,366
- What are you talking about?
- Pirouettes, you dumb fuck.
47
00:10:57,471 --> 00:10:59,614
And if I fall,
48
00:10:59,719 --> 00:11:05,301
well, so be it.
You know. Who gives a shit?
49
00:11:08,013 --> 00:11:10,091
My father in the audience yet?
50
00:11:18,607 --> 00:11:22,809
We're late. That's it, we're late.
51
00:11:22,914 --> 00:11:27,401
- Don't say it was me.
- Relax, dear.
52
00:11:28,659 --> 00:11:31,780
I'm gonna die.
53
00:12:01,066 --> 00:12:04,347
Welcome to the Hilton Vegas,
Mr Fawkes!
54
00:12:04,451 --> 00:12:07,852
- Great to see you.
- Thank you.
55
00:12:07,957 --> 00:12:13,904
No matter what happens, nobody
can say you're not a great father.
56
00:12:32,681 --> 00:12:33,724
Hi.
57
00:12:48,781 --> 00:12:52,233
Now is not the time to lose faith
in the material.
58
00:12:52,409 --> 00:12:54,569
It got you this far.
59
00:12:54,745 --> 00:13:00,323
As an opener, the dog story is the
best joke I ever wrote for you.
60
00:13:00,427 --> 00:13:05,617
But if... which it won't...
but if, and I mean only if...
61
00:13:05,722 --> 00:13:10,176
Jesus, you make me doubt things.
If it doesn't work,
62
00:13:10,344 --> 00:13:12,587
use the saver.
63
00:13:12,763 --> 00:13:15,302
You mean, a joke's like a lady
getting out of a car.
64
00:13:15,474 --> 00:13:17,515
Sometimes you see it,
sometimes you don't?
65
00:13:17,685 --> 00:13:20,603
- Yeah, that's it!
- Yeah, that's it!
66
00:13:25,317 --> 00:13:30,646
Tommy, I don't think you should
use the sheep story.
67
00:13:30,750 --> 00:13:34,564
- What are you telling me?
- It's not that kind of house.
68
00:13:34,668 --> 00:13:39,482
It uses the F word, and this is
not the Comedy Store.
69
00:13:39,587 --> 00:13:44,699
- You'll lose 'em with the F word.
- Risks, Al. Pirouettes!
70
00:13:44,803 --> 00:13:47,287
A one-way ticket.
71
00:13:48,716 --> 00:13:51,718
Two weeks to live.
72
00:14:23,042 --> 00:14:27,918
- You're nervous.
- I waited all my life for tonight.
73
00:14:35,471 --> 00:14:41,004
What are you doing, pumpkin?
Don't do this, please.
74
00:14:41,109 --> 00:14:47,178
You're so cold. You have frozen
the life out of me.
75
00:14:47,283 --> 00:14:51,015
What is this?
What are you doing to me?
76
00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:57,477
You're all that matters.
All you think about. Tommy Fawkes!
77
00:14:57,581 --> 00:15:00,697
Tommy, you're so cold.
78
00:15:02,373 --> 00:15:07,166
You wonder why people
don't laugh at you?
79
00:15:12,716 --> 00:15:14,093
What?
80
00:15:15,260 --> 00:15:19,584
What are you saying?
What are you saying to me?
81
00:15:19,688 --> 00:15:24,799
I am saying that you cannot
have relationships.
82
00:15:24,903 --> 00:15:28,312
We're through. That's what I'm saying!
83
00:15:45,833 --> 00:15:48,363
- Hi, son.
- Hi, Dad.
84
00:15:48,468 --> 00:15:51,628
I won't hold you up.
85
00:15:52,089 --> 00:15:57,131
Boy, this takes me back.
New mirrors.
86
00:15:58,637 --> 00:16:02,552
All I came to say was, you couldn't
ask for a better audience.
87
00:16:02,725 --> 00:16:05,810
That room is filled with people.
88
00:16:05,978 --> 00:16:09,674
Friends, family,
the whole of show business is there!
89
00:16:09,778 --> 00:16:15,850
They're all just hoping and wishing,
and ready to laugh, son.
90
00:16:15,954 --> 00:16:19,060
- I better go.
- Sure, OK.
91
00:16:19,164 --> 00:16:23,481
I just wanted you to know
how proud I am of you.
92
00:16:23,585 --> 00:16:26,700
- Five minutes, please.
- He'll be right there.
93
00:16:28,834 --> 00:16:33,240
If this audience doesn't laugh,
94
00:16:33,345 --> 00:16:35,953
then I don't know what.
95
00:16:36,057 --> 00:16:41,000
I just think all those years
of playing small venues
96
00:16:41,105 --> 00:16:45,836
and learning the business
is about to pay off for you.
97
00:16:45,941 --> 00:16:51,890
And I hope so. Because I know
you haven't always found life easy.
98
00:16:53,525 --> 00:16:57,222
- OK! Dad, I have to go.
- OK.
99
00:16:57,326 --> 00:16:59,557
Go get 'em.
100
00:16:59,662 --> 00:17:02,575
Kill the bastards.
101
00:17:10,042 --> 00:17:15,037
We will meet beyond the shore
102
00:17:15,214 --> 00:17:18,833
We'll kiss just as before
103
00:17:19,968 --> 00:17:23,504
Happy we'll be beyond the sea
104
00:17:24,515 --> 00:17:26,389
And never again
105
00:17:28,519 --> 00:17:30,845
He was fine.
106
00:17:31,021 --> 00:17:33,560
I'll go sailing
107
00:17:33,732 --> 00:17:36,166
Sailing
108
00:17:51,291 --> 00:17:55,576
Ladies and gentlemen, we havea new face topping the bill
109
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:57,952
at the Hilton Oasis.
110
00:17:58,056 --> 00:18:03,582
A new face. But an old name.
The name is Fawkes.
111
00:18:03,686 --> 00:18:06,800
Yeah! Tommy Fawkes! All right!
112
00:18:09,226 --> 00:18:14,464
I'm gonna keep Tommy waiting
just a little longer. First of all,
113
00:18:14,569 --> 00:18:18,056
there's something specialwe have to do.
114
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:21,681
Ladies and gentlemen,
the biggest star of them all.
115
00:18:21,785 --> 00:18:26,603
The funniest.
Mr Originality himself,
116
00:18:26,707 --> 00:18:32,539
in the audience tonight.
Mr George Fawkes!
117
00:18:43,635 --> 00:18:47,420
Come on, George.
They want you.
118
00:18:49,933 --> 00:18:53,386
Don't do it, Dad. Please don't do it.
119
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:45,488
As the cow said on a wintry morning:"Thank you for that warm hand."
120
00:19:49,576 --> 00:19:55,154
But seriously, folks. I cannot
tell you what a joy I feel
121
00:19:55,258 --> 00:19:59,911
being here at the... Hilton Oasis.
122
00:20:00,545 --> 00:20:04,414
He did it. He did it.
123
00:20:05,509 --> 00:20:09,342
Mr Fawkes? Are you OK?
124
00:20:12,683 --> 00:20:15,388
I can't believe he did that. Oh, boy.
125
00:20:20,691 --> 00:20:23,527
A gag is like watching a girl
get out of a car.
126
00:20:23,735 --> 00:20:25,943
Sometimes you see it,
sometimes you don't.
127
00:20:32,828 --> 00:20:35,865
I'm history, I'm out of here.
Have a good night.
128
00:20:44,965 --> 00:20:47,042
You still got it!
129
00:21:00,022 --> 00:21:02,062
I can't believe he did that.
130
00:21:02,232 --> 00:21:06,776
And now will you welcome
131
00:21:06,945 --> 00:21:10,232
the man who
has inherited that talent.
132
00:21:10,407 --> 00:21:13,943
Mr Tommy Fawkes!
133
00:21:38,185 --> 00:21:40,095
He's great!
134
00:21:54,826 --> 00:21:57,401
Slay 'em, Tommy!
135
00:22:00,791 --> 00:22:03,360
My wonderful parents,
ladies and gentlemen.
136
00:22:03,464 --> 00:22:10,080
They hated me. They once took me to
an orphanage and told me to mingle.
137
00:22:11,468 --> 00:22:14,498
Do you ever feel like
killing yourself?
138
00:22:14,602 --> 00:22:19,963
Like no matter what you do, people
will always see you as one thing?
139
00:22:20,067 --> 00:22:23,394
It's like a lifetime of bad luck.
140
00:22:25,482 --> 00:22:32,014
I came home last week, my dog looked
sheepish. Dogs can look sheepish!
141
00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:35,977
I feed him, he won't eat.
He starts wailing real loud.
142
00:22:36,081 --> 00:22:40,195
I go into the back room, I see
he's broken a very large mirror.
143
00:22:40,299 --> 00:22:44,862
I say, "Did you do this?"
He said, "Yeah." He did.
144
00:22:44,966 --> 00:22:46,953
"It's OK, why are you so upset?"
145
00:22:47,129 --> 00:22:49,965
He says, "49 years bad luck."
146
00:23:02,727 --> 00:23:04,887
A joke's like watching a lady
get out of a car
147
00:23:05,063 --> 00:23:07,472
Sometimes you see it,
sometimes you don't.
148
00:23:21,454 --> 00:23:24,373
Did I say something funny?
149
00:23:27,002 --> 00:23:30,493
I was playing Carthage, Tennessee.
Ever play there?
150
00:23:30,597 --> 00:23:35,578
They brought back the death penalty
for comedians only.
151
00:23:35,682 --> 00:23:40,833
Guy in a bar says, "I used to own this
place. I built it up from nothing.
152
00:23:40,938 --> 00:23:44,462
"But do they call me
John the Bar Owner? No.
153
00:23:44,566 --> 00:23:48,507
"I owned the biggest farm
in the county for 30 years.
154
00:23:48,611 --> 00:23:53,649
"I looked after animals, crops.
But do they call me John the Farmer?
155
00:23:55,739 --> 00:24:00,856
"I ran for Congress. Sat in
Washington representing the people.
156
00:24:00,961 --> 00:24:04,536
"They call me John the Congressman?
No, sir.
157
00:24:04,706 --> 00:24:07,578
"You fuck one sheep..."
158
00:24:42,869 --> 00:24:46,904
I gotta run.
You made a lousy fucking audience.
159
00:24:47,009 --> 00:24:52,124
My name is Tommy Fawkes,
and I got two weeks to live.
160
00:25:01,888 --> 00:25:03,965
Tommy?
161
00:25:30,125 --> 00:25:34,123
Well, my mama she didn't love me
162
00:25:34,296 --> 00:25:37,547
She had to stay out all night longO Lord
163
00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:48,808
Well, my mama didn't love me
164
00:25:48,977 --> 00:25:51,979
She had to stay out all night long
165
00:25:58,737 --> 00:26:03,898
I didn't care if she didn't loveI would boogie-woogie anyhow
166
00:26:14,794 --> 00:26:17,880
When I was workingup in town, people
167
00:26:18,048 --> 00:26:21,500
I was walking down Hatham Street
168
00:26:22,761 --> 00:26:27,388
I heard everybody talking about itThe Henry Swain Club
169
00:26:29,100 --> 00:26:34,226
I decided I'd drop in that nightand when I got there
170
00:26:34,397 --> 00:26:38,776
I say, yes, peopleyou do really have a ball
171
00:26:38,943 --> 00:26:42,064
Come on. Get it off him.
172
00:26:47,660 --> 00:26:49,204
Get it off him!
173
00:27:03,551 --> 00:27:08,795
We'll send somebody to
find your father and your uncle.
174
00:27:10,141 --> 00:27:13,838
Is there anything else you want?
175
00:27:13,942 --> 00:27:16,559
Anything we can bring you?
176
00:27:19,025 --> 00:27:20,437
Toast!
177
00:27:22,195 --> 00:27:24,153
Toast.
178
00:27:33,748 --> 00:27:36,121
Over here!
179
00:27:43,383 --> 00:27:46,504
Here! Over here!
180
00:28:00,859 --> 00:28:02,597
Here!
181
00:28:26,968 --> 00:28:30,793
Look, it's nothing. It's just a foot.
182
00:28:30,897 --> 00:28:34,638
It'll blow over. It's a one-off.
183
00:28:34,809 --> 00:28:36,200
Yes.
184
00:28:38,605 --> 00:28:39,647
No.
185
00:28:40,940 --> 00:28:45,558
I will, I will.
186
00:28:45,663 --> 00:28:49,320
I resent that. Piss off!
187
00:28:55,538 --> 00:28:57,071
Animals.
188
00:28:57,175 --> 00:28:59,205
Did you tell them
there's no connection
189
00:28:59,375 --> 00:29:01,702
between the foot
and the man in the tower?
190
00:29:38,873 --> 00:29:42,457
Jack Parker's father?
191
00:29:45,213 --> 00:29:48,326
I am. That's his uncle.
192
00:29:48,431 --> 00:29:53,633
I'm afraid he's climbed the tower
and he won't come down.
193
00:29:57,183 --> 00:29:59,675
He's asked for toast.
194
00:30:01,312 --> 00:30:06,059
Do you know why? I mean, toast?
195
00:30:07,402 --> 00:30:10,439
Toast, shut up.
196
00:30:22,667 --> 00:30:25,788
May I ask you what you do?
197
00:30:27,463 --> 00:30:30,216
How do you mean?
198
00:31:32,070 --> 00:31:33,944
Come on, Mother.
199
00:32:01,557 --> 00:32:06,425
You're from the lawyers?
Broadbent, Phelps, Burger & Burger?
200
00:32:06,529 --> 00:32:11,888
Berger & Berger... I'm Lawrence Berger.
You're Mr Tarascas?
201
00:32:11,992 --> 00:32:15,597
- Dick Tarascas. Dick.
- Shall we wait for your bags?
202
00:32:15,702 --> 00:32:19,104
- My bags went to Düsseldorf.
- Oh, really?
203
00:32:19,208 --> 00:32:22,700
Gosh.
That's unbelievably bad luck.
204
00:32:27,875 --> 00:32:32,206
- My cheque's come? Hotel confirmed?
- Yes, indeed. Sea view.
205
00:32:32,380 --> 00:32:34,172
Let's go.
206
00:32:45,059 --> 00:32:50,259
- Is this your first time here?
- No, I lived here till I was six.
207
00:32:50,363 --> 00:32:57,515
So you've noticed the changes, then.
What would it be? 30 years?
208
00:32:57,620 --> 00:33:03,941
Its heyday. Marlene Dietrich,
Sammy Davis Jr., Frank Sinatra.
209
00:33:04,045 --> 00:33:08,987
A mecca for comedians, of course.
Bob Hope.
210
00:33:09,092 --> 00:33:12,785
George Formby. George Fawkes.
211
00:33:13,671 --> 00:33:17,290
And the sun shone every day, right?
212
00:33:18,301 --> 00:33:21,386
It seemed to, yes.
213
00:34:22,657 --> 00:34:26,240
Mr Parker?
Steve Campbell. I'm a psychiatrist.
214
00:34:26,410 --> 00:34:28,608
Is he coming down?
215
00:34:28,713 --> 00:34:33,572
Why wasn't I told it's Jack Parker?
What about guns?
216
00:34:33,676 --> 00:34:39,873
- He isn't armed.
- With respect, he is a known maniac.
217
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:47,469
Hiya, Dad. Hi, Uncle Thomas.
218
00:34:48,224 --> 00:34:50,846
Are you all right?
219
00:34:51,978 --> 00:34:54,304
I'm gonna die!
220
00:34:54,897 --> 00:34:58,677
Gentlemen, what I need to know is,
221
00:34:58,781 --> 00:35:04,317
how far does this man go
when he's pushed?
222
00:36:12,099 --> 00:36:15,924
- You must be Mrs Parker.
- I was married to Bruno.
223
00:36:16,028 --> 00:36:21,062
But I'm no longer Mrs Parker.
This is Toast.
224
00:36:24,779 --> 00:36:29,857
Jack, my darling.
You can come down now.
225
00:36:40,419 --> 00:36:42,739
Mr Parker.
226
00:36:42,844 --> 00:36:47,828
Your brother doesn't seem to speak.
Is that right?
227
00:36:47,932 --> 00:36:52,916
- He's depressed.
- How long has he been depressed?
228
00:36:53,020 --> 00:36:57,643
- When did he last speak?
- Twelve years ago.
229
00:37:13,411 --> 00:37:18,786
I gather you're in the business
yourself. A comedian?
230
00:37:18,958 --> 00:37:20,583
Sort of.
231
00:37:20,751 --> 00:37:26,534
And you're prepared to pay money
to see comedy material in Blackpool?
232
00:37:26,638 --> 00:37:29,874
- You bet.
- Actual cash?
233
00:37:29,978 --> 00:37:33,754
Bingo. I'm serious.
Everything I see, I pay to see.
234
00:37:33,931 --> 00:37:37,544
£50 for a look.
If I buy, that's where you step in.
235
00:37:37,648 --> 00:37:41,966
I never thought of it as
such a competitive business.
236
00:37:42,071 --> 00:37:44,346
Well, it is.
237
00:37:44,450 --> 00:37:49,808
- What do you want to see?
- Whatever's funny in Blackpool.
238
00:37:49,913 --> 00:37:54,562
Old routines, funny routines,
funny people.
239
00:37:54,666 --> 00:37:57,358
- Jokes?
- No jokes.
240
00:37:57,462 --> 00:38:02,655
I'm looking for another way.
Jokes I've paid for. It doesn't work.
241
00:38:02,759 --> 00:38:05,041
No jokes.
242
00:38:06,339 --> 00:38:10,633
Funny people.
Physical comedy. Original ideas.
243
00:38:10,801 --> 00:38:14,043
Visual? Slapstick?
244
00:38:14,147 --> 00:38:18,756
- It may not be scripted.
- Doesn't mean I can't buy it.
245
00:38:18,860 --> 00:38:23,053
Look, Lawrence. I'm gonna be frank.
246
00:38:23,157 --> 00:38:28,347
I don't have long to live. I'm looking
for something. I don't know what.
247
00:38:28,451 --> 00:38:32,646
I'm an educated man, I like to
analyze. I'm reasonably wealthy.
248
00:38:32,750 --> 00:38:36,026
It's something special.
I'm gonna find it here.
249
00:38:36,202 --> 00:38:38,899
Whoever brings it
might not even know its worth.
250
00:38:39,003 --> 00:38:43,531
Whatever it is,
it will be something I don't have.
251
00:38:43,635 --> 00:38:50,369
Another way of looking at life.
I spent six years of my life here.
252
00:38:50,473 --> 00:38:54,246
There's no reason
why the sun can't shine again.
253
00:38:54,350 --> 00:39:00,883
I mean, why do all the best things
in life belong to the past?
254
00:39:01,477 --> 00:39:04,174
I don't know.
255
00:39:04,279 --> 00:39:07,430
But it's true. You're right.
256
00:39:07,534 --> 00:39:13,519
So no jokes, OK?
Jokes I'll leave to George Fawkes.
257
00:39:13,623 --> 00:39:18,897
- George Fawkes. He was funny.
- Still is.
258
00:39:19,002 --> 00:39:22,945
Surely not?
I thought he died in Las Vegas.
259
00:39:23,624 --> 00:39:27,919
No. I died in Las Vegas.
260
00:40:21,140 --> 00:40:25,388
Jack, I'm here to help you.
I'm going to ask you a few questions.
261
00:40:25,561 --> 00:40:27,934
Unrelated, all right?
262
00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:32,969
- Where were you born?
- Blackpool.
263
00:40:33,074 --> 00:40:38,277
- Why Blackpool?
- I wanted to be near me mother.
264
00:40:40,534 --> 00:40:45,873
- Have you lived here all your life?
- Not yet.
265
00:40:48,250 --> 00:40:54,005
They tell me you had no real
education. Is that right?
266
00:40:58,427 --> 00:41:02,123
Tell me, of this list,
267
00:41:02,228 --> 00:41:05,836
which is the odd one out?
268
00:41:05,940 --> 00:41:08,005
House.
269
00:41:08,110 --> 00:41:12,281
School. Dog.
270
00:41:12,531 --> 00:41:15,526
Cinema. Church.
271
00:41:17,029 --> 00:41:19,521
- Dog.
- Good.
272
00:41:20,199 --> 00:41:23,533
A dog wouldn't go to the cinema,
would it?
273
00:41:26,830 --> 00:41:29,944
Which of these is the odd one out?
274
00:41:30,048 --> 00:41:33,993
Malice. Jealousy.
275
00:41:35,464 --> 00:41:37,549
Greed.
276
00:41:37,888 --> 00:41:39,627
Envy.
277
00:41:40,474 --> 00:41:44,005
And... kindness.
278
00:41:48,060 --> 00:41:49,451
And.
279
00:42:35,524 --> 00:42:40,021
- I want to tell the whole truth.
- Very well.
280
00:42:40,195 --> 00:42:42,652
I'll fetch the sergeant.
281
00:42:52,583 --> 00:42:55,863
Jack, this is
Detective Sergeant Sharkey.
282
00:42:55,967 --> 00:43:00,042
What is it you want to say?
283
00:43:00,799 --> 00:43:02,343
Jack?
284
00:43:05,137 --> 00:43:06,875
Jack?
285
00:43:07,222 --> 00:43:12,135
Man, slow down
286
00:43:14,104 --> 00:43:16,774
We'll get there
287
00:43:20,611 --> 00:43:23,364
Take your time
288
00:43:27,034 --> 00:43:30,867
So we'll just keep onwalking anyway
289
00:43:34,458 --> 00:43:37,032
We have for you the one and only,
290
00:43:37,211 --> 00:43:40,877
the challenger,Dancing Joe Caccelli.
291
00:43:41,882 --> 00:43:45,881
In the red corner,the WBA Champion,
292
00:43:46,053 --> 00:43:48,924
Buffalo Bob Johnson.
293
00:43:50,432 --> 00:43:54,763
Boxers,let's get ready to rumble.
294
00:44:02,152 --> 00:44:04,479
Oh, well, that's Turkey.
295
00:44:11,995 --> 00:44:16,493
Tune into your breathing patternand watch the breathing.
296
00:44:16,667 --> 00:44:20,535
Breathing naturally,not forcing it in any way.
297
00:44:22,756 --> 00:44:26,422
As you breathe,begin to hear yourself.
298
00:44:28,095 --> 00:44:31,595
Min-nnaaah!
299
00:44:35,018 --> 00:44:43,063
Ooooh-waa-haa-haa.Ooooh-waa-haa-haa.
300
00:44:44,695 --> 00:44:49,690
Remember,breathe to your breathing rhythm.
301
00:44:58,333 --> 00:45:04,088
When we breathe out,there's a natural pause at the end.
302
00:45:07,301 --> 00:45:11,762
Before we breathe in again,try to feel the pause.
303
00:45:15,642 --> 00:45:19,427
Just let go until youbreathe in again.
304
00:45:20,189 --> 00:45:22,515
In your own breathing rhythm,
305
00:45:22,691 --> 00:45:26,524
breathe in naturally,and out slowly.
306
00:45:26,695 --> 00:45:31,607
Pause at the end of the breath.Feel your eyelids becoming heavy.
307
00:45:44,630 --> 00:45:47,788
They tried to pull a stroke, Dolly.
There was an accident.
308
00:45:47,892 --> 00:45:52,040
I know he died in a bad way,
but it serves the filthy frog right.
309
00:45:52,144 --> 00:45:54,890
He only brought five eggs.
310
00:45:55,933 --> 00:46:00,423
- But you gave him all the money.
- We had no choice.
311
00:46:00,527 --> 00:46:07,097
He threw Jack in the water. We tried
to save him, not argue about the egg.
312
00:46:07,201 --> 00:46:13,280
There was a panic, a communication
problem. There's no trust any more.
313
00:46:13,909 --> 00:46:19,580
One wax egg remains
unaccounted for.
314
00:46:20,165 --> 00:46:26,833
Two ounces of the emperor's private
store of the plant of immortality.
315
00:46:27,381 --> 00:46:34,380
That's about £20,000 worth.
Or ten more years of my life.
316
00:46:34,805 --> 00:46:40,844
You have my word. The egg
went down with that French fella.
317
00:47:05,252 --> 00:47:09,831
I thought you said this was a one-off.
318
00:47:10,507 --> 00:47:13,371
Well, it is a one-off.
319
00:47:13,476 --> 00:47:18,428
The feet match. One person.
320
00:47:19,683 --> 00:47:22,436
Two feet, though.
321
00:47:24,021 --> 00:47:27,604
Well, obviously.
322
00:47:28,525 --> 00:47:31,231
Everyone's got two feet.
323
00:47:32,195 --> 00:47:36,146
Does anybody know anyone
that hasn't got two feet?
324
00:47:36,950 --> 00:47:38,341
Yes!
325
00:47:39,375 --> 00:47:45,788
Very amusing, but if you'll excuse me,
I've got vermin at South Shore.
326
00:47:50,088 --> 00:47:52,794
Whose feet are they?
327
00:48:08,106 --> 00:48:11,192
One minute to ten.
328
00:48:34,174 --> 00:48:38,422
Ladies and gentlemen. Come up gently.
329
00:49:00,659 --> 00:49:05,399
Are you taking us and our material
to the United States?
330
00:49:05,503 --> 00:49:11,002
If you want to, we have to go
on the QE2. We never fly.
331
00:49:18,260 --> 00:49:22,462
Will you all settle down? Quiet!
332
00:49:22,566 --> 00:49:28,966
- I only eat brown bread.
- Sign it before you come through.
333
00:49:29,071 --> 00:49:34,973
The terms are the same for all of you.
It's £50 for a look.
334
00:49:35,078 --> 00:49:39,019
If Mr Tarascas
wants to go any further,
335
00:49:39,197 --> 00:49:42,982
a price will be negotiated. All right?
336
00:50:03,013 --> 00:50:06,050
Good turnout.
337
00:50:07,142 --> 00:50:11,057
Good work, Larry.
Let's have the first one.
338
00:50:21,698 --> 00:50:26,278
This is Steve.
He's come all the way from Ormskirk.
339
00:50:28,246 --> 00:50:31,663
Welcome, Steve.
What do you have to show me?
340
00:51:30,475 --> 00:51:34,177
That's what I sayI say yeah, yeah
341
00:51:34,354 --> 00:51:37,023
That's what I say, I say...
342
00:51:40,235 --> 00:51:42,692
That's what I say, I say...
343
00:51:45,365 --> 00:51:47,939
That's what I say, I say...
344
00:51:58,670 --> 00:52:00,951
- Bonanza.
- Aznanob.
345
00:52:01,056 --> 00:52:04,085
- Dallas.
- Sallad.
346
00:52:24,738 --> 00:52:27,859
Stop doing that!
347
00:53:13,745 --> 00:53:19,362
- That's funny.
- Thank you. Why didn't you laugh?
348
00:53:19,466 --> 00:53:25,036
Larry will check out the patents
on biscuit tin tap dancing.
349
00:53:25,141 --> 00:53:29,082
- We might make you an offer.
- Thank you.
350
00:53:29,761 --> 00:53:34,887
- Don't forget your biscuit tins.
- I got plenty of them.
351
00:53:52,534 --> 00:53:53,925
I...
352
00:53:55,078 --> 00:53:59,651
- What's this?
- It was in the "Times" yesterday.
353
00:53:59,756 --> 00:54:04,572
I doubt many people saw it.
Certainly not this lot.
354
00:54:04,676 --> 00:54:08,828
So as far as Blackpool is concerned,
you're still Dick Tarascas.
355
00:54:08,932 --> 00:54:12,538
"Legendary comedian George Fawkes
won a standing ovation
356
00:54:12,642 --> 00:54:19,591
"when he took over from his vanished
son Tommy, also a comedian.
357
00:54:19,695 --> 00:54:24,924
"The whereabouts of Tommy Fawkes
is yet to be established. Police...
358
00:54:25,029 --> 00:54:27,351
"say..."
359
00:54:41,958 --> 00:54:46,087
- That must have been awful for you.
- Yeah.
360
00:54:48,256 --> 00:54:53,334
- You must admire your father.
- He's a hell of a guy.
361
00:54:54,888 --> 00:54:57,012
So, who's next?
362
00:57:47,060 --> 00:57:50,560
I know you will be good today.
363
00:57:50,730 --> 00:57:52,724
And no one knows who you are.
364
00:57:55,401 --> 00:57:58,273
Now I must get ready.
365
00:58:02,450 --> 00:58:07,243
Remember clapping for yourself
just like your father?
366
00:58:26,599 --> 00:58:29,518
More research, is it?
367
00:58:30,228 --> 00:58:34,309
People in this town will be angry
when they find out what you're doing.
368
00:58:35,483 --> 00:58:37,554
Meaning?
369
00:58:37,658 --> 00:58:42,641
£50 for a look could become
a keep, and we'd never know.
370
00:58:42,746 --> 00:58:44,734
You haven't seen the right people.
371
00:58:44,909 --> 00:58:49,122
The ones I'm talking about
turned down the Ed Sullivan Show.
372
00:58:50,498 --> 00:58:55,116
I paid to get in here,
I'm allowed to watch, Mr...
373
00:58:55,221 --> 00:59:00,329
This afternoon's new talent is keeping
a bit schtumm about his act.
374
00:59:00,433 --> 00:59:05,052
Welcome, please,
the amazing Valve Radio.
375
00:59:08,349 --> 00:59:11,351
Mann, Billy Mann.
376
00:59:15,982 --> 00:59:18,391
And that is not new talent.
377
00:59:37,003 --> 00:59:40,088
The fight is on.Dancing Joe saying, "Come on."
378
00:59:40,214 --> 00:59:43,343
Why, you!
379
00:59:44,510 --> 00:59:48,260
The Buffalo's fierceand attempts to psyche out Joe.
380
00:59:48,431 --> 00:59:51,219
I put a spell on you
381
00:59:55,563 --> 00:59:57,634
'Cause you're mine
382
00:59:57,738 --> 01:00:02,100
Feel your eyelids becomingvery heavy.
383
01:00:02,204 --> 01:00:07,101
I don't wanna feel this way. This isnot the way I'm gonna live my life.
384
01:00:07,205 --> 01:00:12,788
- The Dancer explodes.- You can feel a strong vibration.
385
01:00:23,549 --> 01:00:26,247
Anybody in this roomwho can't do that?
386
01:00:26,351 --> 01:00:30,834
Buffalo lands a hook, a right,an uppercut. Exploding into Dancer!
387
01:00:30,938 --> 01:00:34,099
Having a great smilereally can change your life.
388
01:00:34,394 --> 01:00:38,090
A left. A left again.Joe is stumbling.
389
01:00:38,194 --> 01:00:41,097
Must be jellyJam don't shake like that
390
01:00:41,201 --> 01:00:47,187
- Drop your hand by your sides.- He's unguarded. Buffalo strikes!
391
01:00:47,291 --> 01:00:51,188
- What? Where? When? How? Who?- He goes down three times.
392
01:00:51,293 --> 01:00:54,905
Expel every dropof air from your body.
393
01:00:55,998 --> 01:00:59,611
Buffalo is held backwhile Joe's on the floor.
394
01:00:59,716 --> 01:01:02,619
I'm not a beast.
395
01:01:02,723 --> 01:01:07,703
- He's given the count.- 90! Who'll go to 94?
396
01:01:07,807 --> 01:01:10,371
- Fill your body...- He's up.
397
01:01:10,475 --> 01:01:13,040
.. and let it out.
398
01:01:13,145 --> 01:01:15,883
He's down again. Chip is counting.
399
01:01:15,987 --> 01:01:19,884
It's been requested that I dothis number for you.
400
01:01:19,988 --> 01:01:22,550
In. Out.
401
01:01:22,654 --> 01:01:25,023
In. Out.
402
01:01:25,194 --> 01:01:27,681
In. Out.
403
01:01:27,785 --> 01:01:31,909
- The Dancer's in trouble.- The man in the moon.
404
01:01:32,243 --> 01:01:38,320
He's gonna go. Joe leaningdesperately against the ropes.
405
01:01:38,424 --> 01:01:41,529
Hardly knows where he is.
406
01:01:41,634 --> 01:01:44,741
Uska Dara is a town in Turkey.
407
01:01:44,845 --> 01:01:50,296
In the old days, many women had malesecretaries. Well, that's Turkey.
408
01:01:50,720 --> 01:01:55,504
He's confused. I can seehis wife, Laura, up there with him.
409
01:01:55,608 --> 01:01:59,848
- He doesn't even know his own wife.- The man in the moon.
410
01:02:02,231 --> 01:02:04,024
Joe's on the deck!
411
01:02:09,614 --> 01:02:11,406
Come back!
412
01:02:16,287 --> 01:02:18,861
He's brilliant!
413
01:02:20,208 --> 01:02:24,243
I'd never have let him
if I had known who he was.
414
01:02:24,347 --> 01:02:29,454
I wasn't that surprised when
the detective sergeant told me.
415
01:02:29,559 --> 01:02:34,251
I mean, to be that good,
he had to be somebody.
416
01:02:34,355 --> 01:02:37,468
I mean, he is good.
417
01:02:42,313 --> 01:02:48,269
Jack. Out of trouble means
out of sight, all right?
418
01:02:49,028 --> 01:02:52,896
Vanish, or we'll make you vanish.
419
01:03:06,003 --> 01:03:09,124
This is your lucky day.
420
01:03:14,470 --> 01:03:21,138
I suppose it's just a sentimentalcontinental point of view
421
01:03:21,310 --> 01:03:27,681
But when out with English gentlemen,what torment I go through
422
01:03:28,609 --> 01:03:32,222
Exercising fascinations
423
01:03:32,327 --> 01:03:36,395
Till at last I lose my patience
424
01:03:36,499 --> 01:03:39,900
For it is hard to understand
425
01:03:40,004 --> 01:03:45,030
That in your peculiar land
426
01:03:45,134 --> 01:03:48,792
Englishmen never make love by day
427
01:03:49,463 --> 01:03:53,332
It can't be helpedIt's just their way
428
01:03:53,509 --> 01:03:57,722
It isn't good form to be warm
429
01:03:57,888 --> 01:04:01,092
In the heat of the sun
430
01:04:01,267 --> 01:04:05,515
You mustn't nestle or gaze too much
431
01:04:05,688 --> 01:04:09,853
You mustn't whisper or even touch
432
01:04:10,026 --> 01:04:14,274
You mustn't reveal what you feel
433
01:04:14,447 --> 01:04:18,492
While you're missing the fun
434
01:04:18,659 --> 01:04:22,705
You mustn't say darling,you mustn't hold hands
435
01:04:22,872 --> 01:04:25,708
Or give him a hint he might
436
01:04:26,792 --> 01:04:31,918
You must just sit and talkabout cricket and glands
437
01:04:32,089 --> 01:04:34,759
With no one at all in sight
438
01:04:35,926 --> 01:04:39,795
But never despair as you waste a way
439
01:04:39,972 --> 01:04:44,137
For in spite of your plightand your deep dismay
440
01:04:44,310 --> 01:04:48,225
Though Englishmennever make love by day
441
01:04:48,397 --> 01:04:54,602
A t night they're quite all right
442
01:04:56,656 --> 01:04:59,776
Englishmen waitfor the clock to chime
443
01:05:00,034 --> 01:05:04,402
They won't light uptill lighting-up time
444
01:05:04,506 --> 01:05:08,110
They think it's a sin to begin
445
01:05:08,214 --> 01:05:10,701
In the afternoon
446
01:05:11,921 --> 01:05:15,866
No matter how fondthey feel of you
447
01:05:15,971 --> 01:05:20,345
They won't say soif the skies are blue
448
01:05:20,513 --> 01:05:24,132
It isn't the thing in the spring
449
01:05:24,308 --> 01:05:27,429
Or the Juniest June
450
01:05:27,603 --> 01:05:31,684
You can hear the thudof their Saxon blood
451
01:05:31,857 --> 01:05:34,859
As they sit there all polite
452
01:05:35,027 --> 01:05:39,156
Like a block of woodor a stick in the mud
453
01:05:39,323 --> 01:05:44,152
Saying "Is that so?"and "Quite"
454
01:05:45,663 --> 01:05:50,153
Just why it should beit is hard to say
455
01:05:50,257 --> 01:05:54,907
They know that we knowthat they know the way
456
01:05:55,012 --> 01:05:59,163
But though Englishmen nevermake love by day
457
01:05:59,267 --> 01:06:06,557
A t night they're quite all right
458
01:06:26,495 --> 01:06:29,616
It's a good house. I need a drink.
459
01:06:30,082 --> 01:06:32,863
That was very exciting.
460
01:06:32,967 --> 01:06:39,076
I used to represent this bombshell.
I used to represent all this lot.
461
01:06:39,180 --> 01:06:45,879
This is Bruno, Thomas and Jack Parker,
the funniest people ever in Blackpool.
462
01:06:45,984 --> 01:06:50,221
- And this is Bruno's ex, Katie.
- I know you.
463
01:06:50,978 --> 01:06:56,556
I'm honored to meet you.
I'd like to see your material.
464
01:06:56,660 --> 01:07:00,724
You see, boys,
Mr Tarascas is buying material.
465
01:07:00,829 --> 01:07:05,062
I'll explain all this properly to you.
And paying very good money, too.
466
01:07:05,166 --> 01:07:09,316
Only if I decide that...
Yeah, sure, for instance...
467
01:07:09,420 --> 01:07:14,954
Jack, I'll make you a big offer for
that tape. The tape is fabulous.
468
01:07:15,127 --> 01:07:16,539
Hah!
469
01:07:18,672 --> 01:07:20,909
Is there a problem?
470
01:07:21,013 --> 01:07:27,094
Have I said something un-British?
You don't need the money!
471
01:07:29,683 --> 01:07:33,841
Mr Tarascas is a comedian, too.
Very funny.
472
01:07:33,945 --> 01:07:37,679
Boys,
I think you'll need my help on this.
473
01:07:37,783 --> 01:07:40,933
- It could be worthwhile.
- Great.
474
01:07:41,037 --> 01:07:46,403
- Where can I catch your act?
- We haven't done it for twelve years.
475
01:08:04,093 --> 01:08:08,720
Yoo-hoo!
You want some of this?
476
01:08:15,604 --> 01:08:19,935
La mer, quand voit dancer
477
01:08:31,662 --> 01:08:34,498
Two big ones, one little one.
Thank you.
478
01:08:37,626 --> 01:08:39,703
Three big... WAHHH!
479
01:08:45,843 --> 01:08:47,671
Please!
480
01:08:52,349 --> 01:08:53,975
I wanna go.
481
01:09:50,741 --> 01:09:53,577
Where I've made a cross.
482
01:09:55,287 --> 01:09:58,242
£1,000 for a look. The rest if I buy.
483
01:10:01,210 --> 01:10:06,205
Bruno was my husband. I know the act.
I also know about contracts.
484
01:10:06,382 --> 01:10:09,882
- Sure.
- Bruno, Thomas...
485
01:10:11,845 --> 01:10:15,752
Bruno, look at me.
Thomas, look at me.
486
01:10:15,857 --> 01:10:19,634
- We really need the money, Katie.
- Don't sign.
487
01:10:20,312 --> 01:10:23,676
- There's something you don't like.
- Yes!
488
01:10:23,780 --> 01:10:29,013
Look at page four, where it says 6A.
That's what they call a quitclaim.
489
01:10:29,117 --> 01:10:33,111
- What's that mean?
- I know you need the money.
490
01:10:33,283 --> 01:10:36,903
But you haven't understood.
A quitclaim means that this man,
491
01:10:37,079 --> 01:10:39,618
and only this man, can do your act.
492
01:10:39,790 --> 01:10:42,487
And us. If we get another chance.
493
01:10:42,592 --> 01:10:47,158
No, boys! You're signing away
your right
494
01:10:47,262 --> 01:10:52,298
to perform your act,
that you took 20 years in perfecting.
495
01:10:52,469 --> 01:10:55,008
You'll never be able to do it again.
496
01:10:55,180 --> 01:11:00,380
Haven't you grasped the point?
They're never going to work again!
497
01:11:00,485 --> 01:11:03,894
You understood this. You bastard!
498
01:11:06,984 --> 01:11:12,850
- You don't have a high opinion of me.
- The man's insulted. I'm very sorry.
499
01:11:12,954 --> 01:11:15,487
But these are the people
who are being insulted!
500
01:11:15,659 --> 01:11:19,029
How do we know that you won't make
such a cock-up of this act
501
01:11:19,204 --> 01:11:23,369
that it will never be seen again
in the history of the world?
502
01:11:23,542 --> 01:11:28,668
Are you a funny man, Mr Tarascas?
How funny are you?
503
01:11:31,925 --> 01:11:36,588
Either they want to trade or they
don't. Nobody's forcing them.
504
01:11:37,097 --> 01:11:40,461
You're just a rich, spoiled brat!
505
01:11:40,565 --> 01:11:45,759
You don't have the humanity to see
this is not just buying a few jokes.
506
01:11:45,863 --> 01:11:50,179
This is buying their lives!
C'est monstrueux.
507
01:11:50,283 --> 01:11:53,445
What's more, it is absurd!
508
01:12:15,719 --> 01:12:19,165
I have no desire
to buy these gentleman's lives.
509
01:12:19,270 --> 01:12:22,423
I respect your concern,
Mrs Whatever-your-name-is.
510
01:12:22,527 --> 01:12:27,181
But this hysterical talk grates on me.
Do we have a deal or don't we?
511
01:12:36,365 --> 01:12:42,398
If it's not too much to ask,
may I now see what I risked £5,000 on?
512
01:12:42,502 --> 01:12:44,936
Risked.
513
01:12:56,009 --> 01:12:59,373
What first?
Looks like a restaurant sketch.
514
01:12:59,477 --> 01:13:03,552
You've never seen one like this.
It's got stuff no one ever attempted.
515
01:13:03,725 --> 01:13:07,475
- Nobody could touch 'em.
- Good, that's what I want.
516
01:13:29,251 --> 01:13:30,989
Stop!
517
01:13:33,255 --> 01:13:35,824
Tell them to stop.
518
01:13:35,928 --> 01:13:38,879
Stop, lads.
519
01:13:42,222 --> 01:13:44,714
Let me see something else.
520
01:14:06,497 --> 01:14:08,235
Stop!
521
01:14:08,882 --> 01:14:12,238
We've got a routine with a
comedy cabin and a dead fish.
522
01:14:12,342 --> 01:14:15,993
I don't want to see it.
Not today, thank you.
523
01:14:16,098 --> 01:14:18,379
Oh, boy. Can you beat this?
524
01:14:22,012 --> 01:14:24,499
He's probably just lost for words.
525
01:14:24,603 --> 01:14:26,918
It wasn't part of the deal,
526
01:14:27,022 --> 01:14:31,265
but if you ask nicely, they might do
the beating-each-other-up sketch.
527
01:14:31,438 --> 01:14:35,223
- That never fails. It'll kill ya'.
- No!
528
01:14:36,443 --> 01:14:40,684
- I don't want any more from them.
- What the hell's the problem?
529
01:14:40,788 --> 01:14:43,617
What's the problem? I'll tell you.
530
01:14:43,784 --> 01:14:48,363
I've seen all this stuff.
This act doesn't even belong to them.
531
01:14:48,538 --> 01:14:52,823
- Then who does it belong to?
- Don't tell me you don't know!
532
01:14:52,927 --> 01:14:56,031
OK...
Taking me for a sucker is one thing.
533
01:14:56,136 --> 01:15:01,829
Trying to sucker my father is another.
When George Fawkes finds out you...
534
01:15:01,933 --> 01:15:06,833
- George Fawkes?
- George is your father? You're Tommy?
535
01:15:06,937 --> 01:15:10,922
I am. And I'll tell you
who's angry here. I am!
536
01:15:11,027 --> 01:15:16,719
- What about the £1,000?
- They should pay, with interest!
537
01:15:16,823 --> 01:15:21,776
- You'll be hearing from my lawyers!
- You can reach me at my office.
538
01:15:25,075 --> 01:15:28,938
Well, even if it's true,
passing off isn't a UK offence.
539
01:15:29,043 --> 01:15:34,193
- What do you mean "if"?
- I'm afraid you owe them £1,000.
540
01:15:34,298 --> 01:15:39,501
Pay 'em! Go ahead!
Pay 'em the whole amount. £5,000!
541
01:15:40,465 --> 01:15:42,957
What are you saying?
542
01:15:43,135 --> 01:15:47,430
It was their material first.
I can't believe it wasn't.
543
01:15:47,597 --> 01:15:49,924
Those guys can't lie.
544
01:15:50,100 --> 01:15:55,392
Oh, God, tell them I'm sorry.
It's not them I'm angry at.
545
01:15:56,398 --> 01:15:59,889
My father stole material.
546
01:15:59,993 --> 01:16:03,485
Gosh! I see.
547
01:16:20,589 --> 01:16:26,628
- I had a little red car.
- Yes. You drove it into everything.
548
01:16:27,179 --> 01:16:29,250
Did the sun shine every day?
549
01:16:29,354 --> 01:16:34,686
No. You were just a little boy.
You were six when you left.
550
01:16:36,021 --> 01:16:38,643
But we were happy, right?
Why did we leave in such a hurry?
551
01:16:38,815 --> 01:16:41,604
Why did we never see you again?
552
01:16:43,070 --> 01:16:46,811
Yes, it was a special time.
553
01:16:46,915 --> 01:16:52,318
We worked together, we laughed
together, we lived together.
554
01:16:52,423 --> 01:16:56,358
Something was bound to happen.
555
01:16:56,462 --> 01:16:59,294
Then it was time for you to go.
556
01:16:59,461 --> 01:17:04,171
Your father took
his little boy, his lovely wife
557
01:17:04,341 --> 01:17:07,462
and an act that didn't belong to him.
558
01:17:08,345 --> 01:17:11,466
We never heard from him again.
559
01:17:12,724 --> 01:17:16,094
He left us with nothing.
560
01:17:20,232 --> 01:17:22,272
Sorry, I...
561
01:17:24,236 --> 01:17:27,357
Well, not quite nothing.
562
01:17:42,421 --> 01:17:45,458
What do you mean?
563
01:17:48,885 --> 01:17:55,500
- Why are you laughing?
- You're so opposite. Half-brothers.
564
01:17:55,605 --> 01:17:58,887
My God, it's so funny.
565
01:17:59,855 --> 01:18:03,805
Tommy, what did you expect to find?
566
01:18:08,280 --> 01:18:11,756
Be my love
567
01:18:12,868 --> 01:18:19,037
For no one else canend this yearning
568
01:18:19,875 --> 01:18:26,210
This need thatyou and you alone create
569
01:18:27,507 --> 01:18:33,132
Just fill my armsthe way you fill my...
570
01:19:09,758 --> 01:19:15,957
Tommy! Your father is worried
to death. He's in the pool.
571
01:19:16,061 --> 01:19:20,386
Hold on. Wait a minute. Hold on.
Don't go away.
572
01:19:22,312 --> 01:19:27,512
Don't tell Dad I called. I want to
tell him everything in my own way.
573
01:19:27,616 --> 01:19:31,850
George!
Quick, it's Tommy. He's on the phone.
574
01:19:31,954 --> 01:19:34,154
Forget the shoes.
575
01:19:36,910 --> 01:19:41,278
I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying.
Martha, hold that, please.
576
01:19:41,382 --> 01:19:44,576
Hello, Tommy?
You were great! They were bastards.
577
01:19:44,751 --> 01:19:47,836
Did they come to laugh or be embalmed?
578
01:19:48,004 --> 01:19:52,910
Your mom thinks you're in Hawaii,
I think you're with that snake woman.
579
01:19:53,015 --> 01:19:56,455
Don't feel you have to tell us
where you are.
580
01:19:56,560 --> 01:20:00,961
- I feel I should tell you where I am.
- You don't have to.
581
01:20:01,065 --> 01:20:03,757
I want to tell you where I am.
582
01:20:03,861 --> 01:20:07,217
- OK, where are you?
- Blackpool.
583
01:20:07,322 --> 01:20:09,724
- You're where?
- Where is he?
584
01:20:14,698 --> 01:20:18,355
That's right, I'm in Blackpool.
585
01:20:18,460 --> 01:20:21,942
And Dad, I know everything.
586
01:20:22,047 --> 01:20:24,577
What's he saying?
587
01:20:24,791 --> 01:20:26,822
It's not a breakdown, is it?
588
01:20:26,927 --> 01:20:31,786
Quiet! I'm trying to listen.
How did you find them?
589
01:20:31,890 --> 01:20:34,202
They found me.
590
01:20:34,306 --> 01:20:37,830
I'm coming over.
591
01:20:37,934 --> 01:20:40,794
- Please don't come over.
- I'm coming.
592
01:20:40,898 --> 01:20:42,884
It would be better for me if you...
593
01:20:44,728 --> 01:20:46,389
Tommy?
594
01:20:49,524 --> 01:20:52,609
Don't do it, Dad. Please don't.
595
01:20:52,777 --> 01:20:54,863
Tommy?
596
01:20:56,114 --> 01:20:57,858
I lost him.
597
01:20:59,576 --> 01:21:02,531
Where are you going?
598
01:21:14,007 --> 01:21:17,009
Do I get any kind of explanation?
599
01:21:18,136 --> 01:21:22,338
Look, I want to spend time with you.
I think we can help each other.
600
01:21:22,442 --> 01:21:26,506
Show me whatever you want.
I'm not afraid to learn.
601
01:21:26,610 --> 01:21:31,230
You see... I don't have long left.
602
01:21:34,694 --> 01:21:41,105
Your mother told me to leave you
alone, but you can't shock me.
603
01:21:41,209 --> 01:21:44,119
I want you to know that.
604
01:24:50,932 --> 01:24:52,670
Jack?
605
01:25:48,990 --> 01:25:50,984
Silly thing.
606
01:26:27,070 --> 01:26:29,988
That's all?
607
01:26:30,156 --> 01:26:35,780
Poor Marcel. He was a real buddy.
608
01:26:38,706 --> 01:26:43,120
I've known him
since we were in the army together.
609
01:26:43,795 --> 01:26:47,247
You were in the army?
610
01:26:49,467 --> 01:26:53,051
I didn't know that.
611
01:26:54,847 --> 01:26:57,553
What regiment might that be?
612
01:27:24,919 --> 01:27:26,960
Here you go.
613
01:27:46,983 --> 01:27:51,057
That hurt! That really hurt!
It shouldn't hurt.
614
01:27:51,161 --> 01:27:54,018
- That's a straight nap.
- You didn't pull your punch.
615
01:27:54,122 --> 01:27:57,523
- A pulled punch is called a nap.
- Then give me a nap.
616
01:27:57,627 --> 01:28:01,202
You can't if you want big laughs,
can ya?
617
01:28:01,372 --> 01:28:03,995
But we're rehearsing. You'll kill me.
618
01:28:04,167 --> 01:28:07,418
- I'll show you another way.
- Good.
619
01:28:33,529 --> 01:28:37,362
- Wait. I've had it with the slaps.
- It won't hurt, honest.
620
01:28:38,368 --> 01:28:41,488
Don't flinch or I won't hit you.
621
01:28:47,668 --> 01:28:50,505
It didn't hurt.
622
01:28:51,422 --> 01:28:54,210
Now what?
623
01:28:59,138 --> 01:29:04,128
It's up your sleeve. The audience
think it's in the newspaper.
624
01:29:04,232 --> 01:29:09,768
But you keep it up your sleeve.
Let it out through the newspaper.
625
01:29:10,191 --> 01:29:12,472
That's neat.
626
01:29:12,577 --> 01:29:14,147
That's really neat.
627
01:29:19,909 --> 01:29:22,318
Did you see this?
628
01:29:24,580 --> 01:29:26,823
You stole two feet?
629
01:29:33,756 --> 01:29:37,369
A part of you guys has always
stayed with me.
630
01:29:37,473 --> 01:29:40,174
Yeah, the act.
631
01:29:44,851 --> 01:29:48,470
What's he like?
632
01:29:50,565 --> 01:29:54,065
I believe he's greater,
633
01:29:54,235 --> 01:29:57,320
funnier than any of us.
634
01:30:01,242 --> 01:30:03,273
It's like...
635
01:30:03,377 --> 01:30:08,791
If we'd wanted the funniest childat the expense of everything else,
636
01:30:10,084 --> 01:30:13,909
then our prayers were answered.
637
01:30:14,013 --> 01:30:16,960
Too loudly.
638
01:30:21,262 --> 01:30:26,850
- You know, people say love child?
- Yes, in the sixties. Go on.
639
01:30:28,686 --> 01:30:35,140
I know you and Katie were in love.
I don't mind. Honest, I don't.
640
01:30:36,736 --> 01:30:41,399
But it's like he's a laugh child.
641
01:30:44,619 --> 01:30:48,202
And we've all paid for it.
642
01:30:52,168 --> 01:30:54,533
Shall I pull him back up?
643
01:30:54,637 --> 01:30:56,836
Shall I?
644
01:30:58,049 --> 01:31:00,173
Shall I?
645
01:31:12,396 --> 01:31:16,931
After the accident,they told us to plead that he was
646
01:31:17,035 --> 01:31:19,518
maladjusted. To put him in a home.
647
01:31:24,492 --> 01:31:26,984
Let me out.
648
01:31:33,417 --> 01:31:37,491
The comedy
of the magnificent shambles.
649
01:31:37,596 --> 01:31:41,669
Purposeful, intentional chaos.
650
01:31:43,552 --> 01:31:47,682
If it isn't funny,
you die a double death. Right?
651
01:31:47,848 --> 01:31:49,723
Isn't that right?
652
01:32:00,319 --> 01:32:02,894
OK, let's start.
653
01:32:03,781 --> 01:32:09,193
I never saw anything funny that
wasn't terrible, didn't cause pain.
654
01:32:09,297 --> 01:32:11,861
Jack believed that
more than any of us.
655
01:32:14,583 --> 01:32:18,748
He saw thingshe shouldn't have seen.
656
01:32:20,256 --> 01:32:26,093
It wasn't Katie's fault.Francesco used to bait him with it.
657
01:33:46,467 --> 01:33:47,510
No!
658
01:34:41,105 --> 01:34:44,226
Why did you stop?
659
01:35:04,670 --> 01:35:10,287
Did they laugh? In Vegas,
when you took over the spot?
660
01:35:10,391 --> 01:35:13,914
- You know about that?
- Did they laugh?
661
01:35:14,018 --> 01:35:18,170
You know the one they liked best?
The joke I bought from Sammy Feingold
662
01:35:18,274 --> 01:35:23,340
two days before his triple bypass.
Or 3 days before his double bypass.
663
01:35:23,444 --> 01:35:27,180
- It's wartime France, right?
- I don't want to hear it.
664
01:35:27,284 --> 01:35:33,271
There's a dogfight, and in it is
François the Fighter Pilot.
665
01:35:33,375 --> 01:35:35,436
Dad! I don't want to hear it.
666
01:35:35,541 --> 01:35:39,692
He takes a hit. His plane is on fire
and crashes in a cornfield.
667
01:35:39,796 --> 01:35:42,614
Please, stop. I'm asking you to stop.
668
01:35:42,719 --> 01:35:46,865
Wait a minute. This girl comes running
out of the farmhouse
669
01:35:46,970 --> 01:35:51,791
and pulls his body from the blaze.
She nurses him back to health.
670
01:35:51,967 --> 01:35:54,590
- I don't wanna hear it.
- Tommy, listen.
671
01:35:54,762 --> 01:35:59,555
This is terrific! He takes her
on a picnic to show his gratitude.
672
01:35:59,725 --> 01:36:03,225
I don't wanna hear
any more funny stories!
673
01:36:04,230 --> 01:36:06,638
Why are you so angry?
674
01:36:10,361 --> 01:36:13,813
Because the King of Originality
stole his act,
675
01:36:13,989 --> 01:36:17,276
because Mr Generosity is
a thief and a liar,
676
01:36:17,451 --> 01:36:21,497
because now I know
why Mother is the way she is,
677
01:36:21,664 --> 01:36:26,540
and because the Parkers brought up
your son and lost everything!
678
01:36:31,632 --> 01:36:36,461
I'm angry because for 30 years
I had this memory
679
01:36:36,637 --> 01:36:39,425
of sunshine and smiling people.
680
01:36:39,598 --> 01:36:42,719
It wasn't all sunshine
and smiles for them.
681
01:36:48,357 --> 01:36:51,515
We left them a lifetime of pain.
682
01:36:51,620 --> 01:36:54,731
Tommy, hear me! Tommy!
683
01:36:57,241 --> 01:37:01,186
What happened
happened because of love.
684
01:37:01,291 --> 01:37:07,530
We left because Katie got pregnant.
We both thought it was for the best.
685
01:37:07,635 --> 01:37:11,784
I'd have gotten in touch, but I
thought I'd done enough damage.
686
01:37:11,888 --> 01:37:16,915
Why did you steal their whole act?
Because you loved them so much?
687
01:37:17,019 --> 01:37:22,128
No, because I wanted a new act
that no one had seen in the States.
688
01:37:22,233 --> 01:37:27,924
I was ambitious. Is that a crime?
Did you never steal material, son?
689
01:37:28,028 --> 01:37:33,350
I knew their act.
It was a way in for me. Just a way in.
690
01:37:33,454 --> 01:37:38,154
I did it a couple of years,
then I became a joke man.
691
01:37:40,117 --> 01:37:43,563
Let me tell you something straight.
692
01:37:43,667 --> 01:37:46,332
About what kills me.
693
01:37:46,498 --> 01:37:50,628
It kills me that I got lazy,
using writers, not using me.
694
01:37:50,794 --> 01:37:54,952
We were funny! We didn't have to tell
funny stories. We were funny.
695
01:37:55,056 --> 01:37:58,124
We had funny bones!
696
01:37:58,228 --> 01:38:05,294
And what kills me most is watching
my own son flop time after time.
697
01:38:05,399 --> 01:38:11,053
However much I spent on writers and
coaches, it hasn't worked for you.
698
01:38:11,157 --> 01:38:14,889
It's like you're too educated
to be funny.
699
01:38:14,994 --> 01:38:19,814
All this analysis. I did that!
700
01:38:19,990 --> 01:38:22,067
There are two types of comedians.
701
01:38:22,242 --> 01:38:26,067
A funny bones comedian,
and a non-funny bones comedian.
702
01:38:26,171 --> 01:38:31,787
They're both funny.
One is funny, the other tells funny.
703
01:38:33,379 --> 01:38:35,953
And Tommy...
704
01:38:38,300 --> 01:38:44,295
It's time you knew... and this
kills me the most,
705
01:38:44,399 --> 01:38:46,929
but you're neither.
706
01:38:47,851 --> 01:38:50,521
You're not funny.
707
01:38:54,775 --> 01:39:00,980
Know it now. They're not gonna cheer
for you, no matter what you do.
708
01:39:04,451 --> 01:39:07,323
Did you fix it for the Parkers
to perform?
709
01:39:07,496 --> 01:39:11,542
The brothers, not the boy.
I'm trying to make it up to them.
710
01:39:11,709 --> 01:39:14,960
- Why not the boy?
- He killed a guy!
711
01:39:15,129 --> 01:39:18,992
A boxer kills a guy,
he maybe gets another fight.
712
01:39:19,096 --> 01:39:23,210
A clown kills a guy, you have
to admit that's bad box office.
713
01:39:23,314 --> 01:39:28,670
He's not like that. He's not crazy.
And for God's sake, he's your son.
714
01:39:28,775 --> 01:39:31,964
I'm sorry.
Even God couldn't swing that one.
715
01:39:32,068 --> 01:39:36,802
But the brothers are taken care of.
They're topping the bill.
716
01:39:36,907 --> 01:39:39,475
They happy?
717
01:40:05,053 --> 01:40:07,177
I've been diggin' my...
718
01:40:13,604 --> 01:40:17,602
I can't work anywhere anyway.
The policeman won't let me.
719
01:40:19,151 --> 01:40:20,646
Jack, my darling,
720
01:40:20,819 --> 01:40:25,897
this man Sharkey,
this horrible policeman,
721
01:40:26,075 --> 01:40:31,608
I will use all my power
to make him disappear for ever.
722
01:40:31,712 --> 01:40:33,699
I promise.
723
01:40:40,339 --> 01:40:42,077
Jack.
724
01:40:46,303 --> 01:40:49,167
Our suffering is special.
725
01:40:49,272 --> 01:40:55,517
The pain we feel is
worse than anyone else.
726
01:40:57,022 --> 01:41:03,266
But the sunrise we see is
more beautiful than anyone else.
727
01:41:03,370 --> 01:41:07,519
The Parkers is... like the moon.
728
01:41:07,623 --> 01:41:13,157
There's one side forever dark.
Invisible. As it should be.
729
01:41:14,623 --> 01:41:20,709
But remember, the dark moon
draws the tides also.
730
01:41:22,214 --> 01:41:25,798
Our time has come.
731
01:41:27,177 --> 01:41:31,128
That's the most wonderful thing
you've said in years.
732
01:41:31,974 --> 01:41:35,842
That's the only thing I said in years.
733
01:41:38,105 --> 01:41:40,764
And so it is
734
01:41:40,868 --> 01:41:43,895
that Blackpool welcomes back...
735
01:41:44,695 --> 01:41:47,364
George Fawkes!
736
01:41:50,367 --> 01:41:54,580
George, by the way,
when the time comes...
737
01:42:08,886 --> 01:42:12,302
I love this town!
738
01:42:50,510 --> 01:42:53,429
- You clapped for yourself yet?
- No.
739
01:42:53,597 --> 01:42:56,765
Let's hope we're not
the only ones who do.
740
01:43:13,909 --> 01:43:18,655
- That feels better.
- You're right. It does.
741
01:43:59,204 --> 01:44:01,281
Jack...
742
01:44:01,748 --> 01:44:03,825
Jesus Christ!
743
01:44:17,305 --> 01:44:20,142
Wait a minute! Are you in the circus?
744
01:44:20,308 --> 01:44:24,224
Are you a policeman?
Same answer. Sometimes.
745
01:44:24,396 --> 01:44:27,509
Are you French? You smell French.
746
01:44:27,614 --> 01:44:31,737
You smell like a toilet.
Look at you. What happened?
747
01:44:34,781 --> 01:44:37,819
Bill, Richard? Find Jack Parker!
748
01:44:45,125 --> 01:44:47,196
Who are you?
749
01:44:47,300 --> 01:44:51,838
I am Cleopatra, queen of all Egypt
750
01:44:52,007 --> 01:44:54,380
and goddess of love.
751
01:45:03,351 --> 01:45:08,508
- What's wrong with your trousers?
- Never mind. Find Jack Parker now.
752
01:45:08,612 --> 01:45:14,397
I've called in some more men.
I don't like it. I've seen...
753
01:45:17,574 --> 01:45:20,777
..faces. Cleopatra.
754
01:45:21,620 --> 01:45:23,530
Slaves.
755
01:45:25,332 --> 01:45:27,780
- How do you mean?
- I don't know.
756
01:45:27,884 --> 01:45:32,919
But it's all getting a bit French.
And I don't like it.
757
01:46:35,777 --> 01:46:41,394
He whose invisible perfume
will carry as swift as fear
758
01:46:41,499 --> 01:46:46,691
shall my asp find
and take with me to my grave.
759
01:46:46,795 --> 01:46:49,902
And I, breathless,
760
01:46:50,006 --> 01:46:53,037
power breathe forth!
761
01:47:04,639 --> 01:47:08,305
- What happened to your trousers?
- It's nothing.
762
01:50:03,360 --> 01:50:05,934
Best of luck, boys.
763
01:50:06,529 --> 01:50:09,855
We miss them.
We welcome them back!
764
01:50:09,959 --> 01:50:13,774
Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you
765
01:50:13,878 --> 01:50:16,623
the Parker Brothers!
766
01:50:24,422 --> 01:50:27,543
- Everything all right, boys?
- Great.
767
01:50:45,735 --> 01:50:47,943
It's talcum powder.
768
01:50:56,496 --> 01:50:58,454
Get off me!
769
01:51:10,427 --> 01:51:13,547
Vive la resistance!
770
01:52:40,642 --> 01:52:42,516
You OK?
771
01:53:52,380 --> 01:53:55,667
We got a call from Sharkey.
No one knows where he is.
772
01:53:59,470 --> 01:54:01,131
Come on.
773
01:54:02,307 --> 01:54:06,471
Who's doing the sway pole?
Give us five minutes. I'll be back.
774
01:54:08,605 --> 01:54:11,144
Boys, your sway pole is ready.
775
01:54:14,611 --> 01:54:17,529
The finale.
776
01:56:10,143 --> 01:56:12,812
Climb the lamppost!
777
02:03:17,695 --> 02:03:19,393
Tommy!
778
02:03:19,498 --> 02:03:21,236
What?
779
02:03:21,541 --> 02:03:26,776
They're beginning to like you!
62251
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