All language subtitles for Episode 02 - Gas

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:51,141 Right. 2 00:00:51,284 --> 00:00:55,812 I'll bet another week's worth of washing up. 3 00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,891 I'll see your week's washing up... 4 00:01:02,095 --> 00:01:06,862 ...and raise you four trips to the launderette, 5 00:01:07,667 --> 00:01:10,602 3p in real money... 6 00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:19,837 ...and one cleaning and disinfecting right round the back of the lavatory bowl. 7 00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:26,885 - That's cleaned me out. - What have you got? 8 00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:28,920 Right. 9 00:01:29,055 --> 00:01:31,182 Three pairs! 10 00:01:31,324 --> 00:01:34,293 You're only allowed five cards! 11 00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:36,418 Shit... 12 00:01:36,563 --> 00:01:39,327 Two pairs. Two and a half pairs! 13 00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:41,991 Stand up. 14 00:01:42,135 --> 00:01:44,126 - No. I've got a hernia. - No, you haven't. 15 00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:45,828 All the excitement gave me one. 16 00:01:45,972 --> 00:01:50,204 Stand up or I WILL give you a hernia! Cards! 17 00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:54,276 - Shoes. - Don't be ridiculous! 18 00:01:54,414 --> 00:01:57,110 I saw you put 'em in there! 19 00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:02,288 - Underpants. - Those are my best ones! 20 00:02:02,422 --> 00:02:06,085 I'm not angry, but we're playing with a deck of 12 cards. 21 00:02:07,393 --> 00:02:09,554 All right. 22 00:02:14,701 --> 00:02:16,862 Right. Let's get on with the game. 23 00:02:17,003 --> 00:02:19,062 What have you got? 24 00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:23,972 Five kings. 25 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:30,480 - Damn! You get me every time! - Come here, me little beauties! 26 00:02:30,617 --> 00:02:31,948 Let's see what we got. 27 00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:34,918 A signed photo of Sue Carpenter. 28 00:02:35,054 --> 00:02:38,990 A Chinese burn! I think I'll have that now! 29 00:02:39,125 --> 00:02:42,151 One day I'll learn the rules - then you'll be for it! 30 00:02:46,966 --> 00:02:49,935 - Who can that be? - I'm not expecting anyone. 31 00:02:50,069 --> 00:02:53,505 - Nor am I. - It must be for someone else, then! 32 00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:55,301 - Another game? - You bet! 33 00:02:55,441 --> 00:02:59,172 - Which one? - Doesn't matter. I don't know the rules. 34 00:02:59,312 --> 00:03:02,338 - "One Card Slam" it is. - Okey-doke. 35 00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:04,609 Twelve quid! 36 00:03:06,986 --> 00:03:10,752 Bloody hell! No wonder they shoot each other on those river boats! 37 00:03:10,890 --> 00:03:13,188 - I can't concentrate! 38 00:03:13,326 --> 00:03:16,818 - Answer the door! - I don't have to, mate. 39 00:03:16,963 --> 00:03:19,454 Not for the next six years! 40 00:03:19,599 --> 00:03:22,534 - All right, I'm coming! 41 00:03:22,669 --> 00:03:24,933 - All right! 42 00:03:25,071 --> 00:03:27,835 Who do you think I am, Speedy Gonzales? 43 00:03:27,974 --> 00:03:32,934 That's enough of that! That's my electricity. I'm not the Aga Khan! 44 00:03:33,079 --> 00:03:35,946 Cripes! It's the gas man! 45 00:03:36,082 --> 00:03:39,074 Hello, could I just read your meter? 46 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,777 HELLO, MR GAS MAN! 47 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:42,751 - Hello. - You what? 48 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,652 Hello, Mr Gas Man! 49 00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:47,487 - Hello again. Could I read...? - Mr who? 50 00:03:47,627 --> 00:03:49,356 GAS MAN! 51 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:56,198 Do you have someone who looks after you? 52 00:03:56,336 --> 00:04:00,636 Could I see them, because I need to read your meter? 53 00:04:00,773 --> 00:04:03,105 - Who is it, darling? - IT'S THE GAS MAN! 54 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:08,112 - I think we've established that. - Don't stay out here, dreamboat. 55 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,079 Show him in. 56 00:04:10,216 --> 00:04:12,150 Thank you. 57 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,619 It's nice and warm in here! 58 00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:19,020 I'll just have a look at your meter if I may. 59 00:04:19,158 --> 00:04:22,025 Here's the little fella. 60 00:04:23,563 --> 00:04:26,225 Don't look at that. It's very boring! 61 00:04:26,366 --> 00:04:29,130 I looked at it and fell into a coma! 62 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:33,399 That's where you're wrong. The ones on this street are very interesting. 63 00:04:33,539 --> 00:04:36,667 Really? Why's that, then? 64 00:04:36,809 --> 00:04:42,008 Someone's complained that they're paying too much for their gas. 65 00:04:42,148 --> 00:04:47,279 We've got to check all the meters and make sure everything's OK. 66 00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:51,724 Have you checked next door yet? 67 00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:54,383 No, they're next. 68 00:04:54,527 --> 00:04:58,793 That is if I don't knock off before I get to him. 69 00:04:58,931 --> 00:05:02,526 It's quarter to six now, 70 00:05:02,669 --> 00:05:05,968 so if it takes me 15 minutes to do this one, 71 00:05:06,105 --> 00:05:09,632 I probably won't get to 'em till tomorrow morning. 72 00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:14,240 That's odd! 73 00:05:14,380 --> 00:05:17,247 Is there some sort of problem, officer? 74 00:05:19,385 --> 00:05:19,976 It's just a strange reading. 75 00:05:20,119 --> 00:05:22,087 What does it say? 76 00:05:22,221 --> 00:05:26,385 Nought, nought, nought, nought... nought, nought, nought! 77 00:05:26,526 --> 00:05:30,326 Yep. That'd be right. 78 00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:32,590 We don't use gas, do we, Eddie? 79 00:05:32,732 --> 00:05:37,032 - I don't even know what it is! - All right, don't spoil it! 80 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:40,628 How do you keep it so warm in here, then? 81 00:05:40,773 --> 00:05:42,900 We make love! 82 00:05:44,944 --> 00:05:48,675 Not together, you understand? On our own. 83 00:05:51,484 --> 00:05:53,611 That's very interesting. 84 00:05:53,753 --> 00:05:56,187 Takes all sorts, don't it? 85 00:05:56,322 --> 00:05:59,018 Right, I think I'll be on my way. 86 00:05:59,158 --> 00:06:00,785 No! 87 00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:03,191 - Wait! - What is it? 88 00:06:04,664 --> 00:06:07,258 Do you want a cup of tea? 89 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:10,130 Tea? I don't think I will, thank you. 90 00:06:10,269 --> 00:06:12,794 You must drink our tea! 91 00:06:12,939 --> 00:06:17,239 It's the best tea in London! Sit down and drink it for 12 minutes. 92 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,845 I'd love some tea, thanks very much. 93 00:06:22,849 --> 00:06:26,114 Right, I'll put the kettle on, then. 94 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:32,882 - "Put the kettle on?" - Put the kettle on... the floor. 95 00:06:34,026 --> 00:06:38,395 We won't be needing that because we don't use gas. 96 00:06:39,699 --> 00:06:42,691 How do we usually make the tea? 97 00:06:45,204 --> 00:06:50,267 We usually use the water... from the hot tap. 98 00:06:51,811 --> 00:06:57,113 Yeah, that's what we do. Funny the things you forget, eh? 99 00:07:06,325 --> 00:07:09,294 Nice trousers. 100 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:12,921 They remind me of a story I know. 101 00:07:13,065 --> 00:07:16,626 A long story. It lasts about 15 minutes. 102 00:07:20,039 --> 00:07:22,337 Once upon a time... 103 00:07:22,475 --> 00:07:26,878 ...there was a big forest. 104 00:07:27,013 --> 00:07:31,143 In the middle of the forest, there lived... 105 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:33,275 ...some trousers... 106 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:36,481 ...called Dave. 107 00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:42,325 Come along! We're dying for some refreshing tea! 108 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,089 Is your water heated by a gas boiler? 109 00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:49,691 Yeah... No, it isn't, because we don't use gas 110 00:07:49,836 --> 00:07:52,327 because we don't know what it is. 111 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,940 Then why are you using the hot tap? 112 00:07:55,074 --> 00:07:57,907 We get the cold water from the hot tap. 113 00:07:58,044 --> 00:08:00,410 That saves wear and tear on the cold tap. 114 00:08:00,546 --> 00:08:02,776 How do you heat water for the tea? 115 00:08:02,915 --> 00:08:06,749 We don't. We have it cold, don't we, Eddie? 116 00:08:07,954 --> 00:08:11,287 Yes, that's right. We have it cold... 117 00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:16,760 - But your pilot light's on. - Is it? God, it's caught fire! 118 00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:18,761 That was a close one, wasn't it? 119 00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:21,799 Here we go, then. 120 00:08:21,934 --> 00:08:25,392 Three mugs of steaming cold tea! 121 00:08:27,139 --> 00:08:30,131 Better drink it before it gets warm. 122 00:08:30,276 --> 00:08:34,144 Cheerio, then! This is the best tea in London! 123 00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:37,739 Mmm! 124 00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:51,594 Mmm, lovely! Come on, Eddie. You're not drinking yours. 125 00:08:52,765 --> 00:08:55,962 I know. I'm watching you enjoying yours. 126 00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:58,969 Do your fair share, you bastard! And you! 127 00:08:59,105 --> 00:09:02,871 - I don't think I'll bother. - I drank mine. It's not fair! 128 00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:07,378 - I think I'll be on me way. - You'll sit down and drink your tea! 129 00:09:07,513 --> 00:09:10,277 Come on. All of it! Now! 130 00:09:18,858 --> 00:09:20,348 Thank you very much! 131 00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:24,654 Lovely! I'll be on me way, then. 132 00:09:24,797 --> 00:09:27,664 - You can't go! - Why not? 133 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:30,963 - Because I love you! - What? 134 00:09:31,103 --> 00:09:34,595 I can't live without you - not for the next eight minutes! 135 00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:38,005 - That's it. I'm off! - Stay where you are, mate! 136 00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:40,942 - No. I'm on me way. - You're not going anywhere! 137 00:10:08,641 --> 00:10:10,905 You're not going anywhere, mate! 138 00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:15,604 Mate? Mate? 139 00:10:16,882 --> 00:10:19,077 Eddie, you've killed him! 140 00:10:22,088 --> 00:10:23,988 I never touched him! 141 00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:27,422 But the frying pan did and you touched that. 142 00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:30,495 You killed him. He was dead before he hit the ground. 143 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,827 Then why did you keep hitting him with the frying pan? 144 00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:35,593 For fun. 145 00:10:35,735 --> 00:10:38,397 God! What are we going to do? 146 00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:43,601 About 25 years, I think! 147 00:10:43,743 --> 00:10:45,574 Rubbish! It was an accident. 148 00:10:45,711 --> 00:10:48,179 He fell over on his way to the door. 149 00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:52,683 And banged himself repeatedly over the head with a frying pan. 150 00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:55,378 You're right... We're done for! 151 00:10:55,521 --> 00:10:56,954 Wake up, you bastard! 152 00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:03,291 - Calm down! - I am calm! 153 00:11:03,429 --> 00:11:06,660 ARRGH! YOU BASTARD! 154 00:11:07,733 --> 00:11:10,327 Calm down, you hysterical girl's blouse! 155 00:11:10,469 --> 00:11:12,767 I'm sorry! OK... 156 00:11:12,905 --> 00:11:17,399 - God, this is real. - That's right. We have to be sensible. 157 00:11:17,543 --> 00:11:22,503 Sensible... Let's eat him. Sorry, stupid idea. 158 00:11:22,648 --> 00:11:25,913 We're not allowed to use the gas. 159 00:11:26,052 --> 00:11:29,544 Maybe he's just stunned. Why don't you give him the kiss of life? 160 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:30,951 Yeah! 161 00:11:31,090 --> 00:11:34,548 No, I will not, you sad pervey! 162 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:39,563 We've got a dead body in the house and you want to sexually assault it! 163 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:43,897 You've always wanted to find out what snogging's really like! 164 00:11:53,779 --> 00:11:55,804 All right. 165 00:12:01,087 --> 00:12:04,181 Hold his nose and blow a load of air into his lungs. 166 00:12:04,323 --> 00:12:08,316 That's not very romantic. No wonder you're still single! 167 00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:11,658 - I'll do it. - He's my bird! Wanna fight about it? 168 00:12:12,431 --> 00:12:15,889 - Get on with it! - All right, I am! 169 00:12:19,505 --> 00:12:23,635 I'll give him a go with this! Put that in his mouth. 170 00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:30,847 How's he looking? 171 00:12:30,983 --> 00:12:33,178 Fatter. 172 00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:35,219 The colour's come back to his cheeks. 173 00:12:35,354 --> 00:12:39,916 Yeah, but it shouldn't be bright purple. This isn't going to work! 174 00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:47,556 Is he related to you? 175 00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:50,464 - Hang on, I've had a better idea! - No! 176 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,537 No, Eddie, no! 177 00:12:52,671 --> 00:12:56,732 Have you no shame? No, it's not natural! 178 00:12:56,876 --> 00:13:00,107 I've got to do the washing up in those! 179 00:13:02,648 --> 00:13:05,583 - Oh, that's what you're doing! - Right... 180 00:13:05,718 --> 00:13:07,686 Open his shirt. 181 00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:12,120 I'm just going to undo your zip. It's nothing sexy! 182 00:13:12,258 --> 00:13:15,056 Lie back and relax. 183 00:13:15,194 --> 00:13:17,185 That's what you're doing anyway! 184 00:13:17,329 --> 00:13:20,025 I'll do it! Hold these. 185 00:13:25,704 --> 00:13:30,767 Stop dancing! He's not impressed. Stop messing about! 186 00:13:32,244 --> 00:13:34,838 - Phwoar! - Here goes. 187 00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:47,583 It's no good. He's dead. 188 00:13:50,596 --> 00:13:53,759 - How shall we get rid of the body? - Well... 189 00:13:53,899 --> 00:13:55,867 I'm still in favour of eating him. 190 00:13:56,001 --> 00:13:59,698 - We could have him cold. - I don't like the look of him. 191 00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:02,933 We'll stick a picture of Sue Carpenter over his face. 192 00:14:03,075 --> 00:14:05,703 You'll tuck in then! I would! 193 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,676 Here you go. 194 00:14:09,014 --> 00:14:12,973 Here we go. There's so much to choose from! 195 00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:22,792 I've got a better idea! We don't have to eat him. 196 00:14:22,928 --> 00:14:26,091 We'll get someone else to eat him for us! 197 00:14:29,268 --> 00:14:30,997 Great, he's still open. 198 00:14:31,136 --> 00:14:34,469 Hello, Amal, how's the kebab business? 199 00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:39,442 I don't want a conversation about it. It was just an English pleasantry. 200 00:14:39,578 --> 00:14:42,012 How are you off for meat? 201 00:14:42,147 --> 00:14:43,705 Bugger you, then! 202 00:14:43,849 --> 00:14:46,841 Damn! His Alsatian got run over this morning 203 00:14:46,986 --> 00:14:50,820 so he's all right for meat for the rest of the week! 204 00:14:50,956 --> 00:14:53,117 What shall we do with the body? 205 00:14:53,259 --> 00:14:54,658 What body? 206 00:14:54,793 --> 00:14:57,762 Eddie, that is absolutely... 207 00:15:00,299 --> 00:15:02,062 ...pathetic! 208 00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:05,637 It's early days. We've got to flatten it out a bit. 209 00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:15,908 That's not bad, actually! I think we're going to get away with this! 210 00:15:16,048 --> 00:15:18,778 I'll pretend to be a policeman. 211 00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:24,878 Hello, hello, hello. What's that dead body doing under the carpet? 212 00:15:26,191 --> 00:15:30,491 I've just had an idea! Why don't we stick him on a bus? 213 00:15:30,629 --> 00:15:34,065 The conductor would notice when he didn't pay his fare. 214 00:15:34,199 --> 00:15:38,636 - No. Let's stick him ON a bus. - The conductor would notice him! 215 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:40,432 I mean on the roof! 216 00:15:40,572 --> 00:15:44,372 You don't get conductors on the roof! 217 00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:47,604 That's what makes the plan so flawless! 218 00:15:47,746 --> 00:15:50,874 Even if he's found, they won't know where he came from. 219 00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:55,919 Unless they look at his pocket book and see that his last job was here! 220 00:15:56,055 --> 00:16:00,424 That's no problem. A fiver! That should come in handy! 221 00:16:00,592 --> 00:16:03,220 Right, then, where are we? 222 00:16:03,362 --> 00:16:05,887 Right... 223 00:16:06,031 --> 00:16:10,229 "No problem with the meter in this flat. 224 00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:14,863 "Don't check for another three... 225 00:16:15,007 --> 00:16:17,305 "...hundred years. 226 00:16:18,610 --> 00:16:24,048 "Nice people, especially the bloke with the glasses 227 00:16:24,183 --> 00:16:27,812 "who wasn't holding a frying pan. 228 00:16:29,788 --> 00:16:33,918 - "Nice atmos altogether, really." - All right, Dickens. Get on with it! 229 00:16:34,059 --> 00:16:37,119 "Left in high spirits... 230 00:16:38,797 --> 00:16:42,528 "to indulge in my hobby... 231 00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:45,569 "...of bus surfing." 232 00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:49,006 Quick! There's one at the lights! 233 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:03,045 One... two... three... 234 00:17:04,656 --> 00:17:07,284 Bloody hell, my head! 235 00:17:09,395 --> 00:17:11,727 Where am I? What happened? 236 00:17:15,901 --> 00:17:19,564 You banged your head on the frying pan Eddie was holding. 237 00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:22,265 Then you tried to throw yourself out of the window. 238 00:17:22,408 --> 00:17:24,933 It's the loony! Let me out of here! 239 00:17:25,077 --> 00:17:29,571 You've got no time to go next door now. Get home to your wife. 240 00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:35,711 - Right... I haven't got a wife! - That'll be the amnesia, mate. 241 00:17:35,854 --> 00:17:38,550 I wonder where I live? Agh! 242 00:17:43,695 --> 00:17:46,755 You stupid bastard! I knew you'd get us into trouble! 243 00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:51,336 - He looked all right to me. - We nicked next door's gas supply! 244 00:17:51,470 --> 00:17:52,994 What time is it now? 245 00:17:53,138 --> 00:17:56,699 The big hand is... Quarter past six. 246 00:17:56,842 --> 00:18:01,211 We've got till nine o'clock tomorrow morning, which is... 247 00:18:01,346 --> 00:18:03,837 That's a difficult one, isn't it? 248 00:18:03,982 --> 00:18:08,146 There's a five in it. No... Four hours, 27 minutes. 249 00:18:08,287 --> 00:18:12,383 I was about to say that. We've got four hours and 27 minutes 250 00:18:12,524 --> 00:18:15,789 to remove that illegal gas pipeline we connected to next door's mains. 251 00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:19,625 I'll keep him talking. You go into the kitchen and do the dangerous stuff. 252 00:18:20,966 --> 00:18:22,934 That's a trifle unfair. 253 00:18:23,068 --> 00:18:25,036 Have you got the wrench? 254 00:18:25,170 --> 00:18:28,571 No, it's just my underpants are a bit tight. 255 00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:41,217 No, there's no time for merriment. 256 00:18:41,353 --> 00:18:45,153 - We've got to do a job. - OK. 257 00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:48,885 Let's hasten to the neighbour's. Shouldn't be any problem. 258 00:18:49,027 --> 00:18:50,688 - He's a nice man. - True. 259 00:18:53,365 --> 00:18:55,959 - Evening, Mr Rottweiler! - What is it? 260 00:18:56,101 --> 00:18:57,432 May we come in? 261 00:18:57,569 --> 00:19:01,835 - Bugger off! I've got a bird here! - Here's... half a bottle of sherry. 262 00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:04,101 Ta very much. Anything else? 263 00:19:04,243 --> 00:19:08,111 - Who is it, darling? - Them bastards from next door! 264 00:19:08,247 --> 00:19:12,308 - I won't be a tick. - Have you got a real woman in there? 265 00:19:12,451 --> 00:19:15,181 - Can we have a look? - Sod off! 266 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,517 - Just a peek! - Do you mind if I get my camera? 267 00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:20,591 Don't make me angry! 268 00:19:20,726 --> 00:19:25,993 Something very special's happened to me. I'm in love! It's the real thing. 269 00:19:26,131 --> 00:19:30,500 I don't want you two jerks messing things up! 270 00:19:30,636 --> 00:19:35,300 If I see either of you again tonight, I'll kill ya! 271 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:48,077 - What?! - You shut my fingers in the door. 272 00:19:49,054 --> 00:19:51,181 Agh! 273 00:20:03,569 --> 00:20:06,037 Keep your head down! 274 00:20:07,072 --> 00:20:09,267 What? 275 00:20:12,744 --> 00:20:15,008 Keep your head down! 276 00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:16,637 Pardon? 277 00:20:16,782 --> 00:20:18,716 It doesn't matter! 278 00:20:30,395 --> 00:20:32,090 What? 279 00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:34,529 It doesn't matter! 280 00:20:34,666 --> 00:20:37,567 - What doesn't matter? - What I just said! 281 00:20:37,703 --> 00:20:39,864 - What did you just say? - It doesn't matter! 282 00:20:40,005 --> 00:20:41,597 No, I heard that. Before that. 283 00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:44,868 - I said keep your head down. - Oh! 284 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:48,103 I know that! 285 00:20:59,358 --> 00:21:01,189 Arsehole! 286 00:21:01,326 --> 00:21:03,624 I heard that! 287 00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:09,363 - Bloody Nora! - Shut up! 288 00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:13,970 They're having it off! 289 00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:16,631 I'll be right over! 290 00:21:18,477 --> 00:21:21,378 Bloody hell! 291 00:21:21,513 --> 00:21:25,279 I told you! You DO do it like that! 292 00:21:25,417 --> 00:21:28,215 God! Who'd have thought it? 293 00:21:28,353 --> 00:21:32,153 Shove over. I can't see. I can only see one nipple! Move over. 294 00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:35,089 - I want to see some more! - Careful! 295 00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:44,361 Get one shot. 296 00:21:48,173 --> 00:21:52,405 According to my calculations, Rottweiler's kitchen is here. 297 00:21:52,544 --> 00:21:54,705 We'll make a little hole, 298 00:21:54,846 --> 00:21:59,044 you squeeze through, fix the gas and go out the front door. 299 00:21:59,184 --> 00:22:02,347 - What could be simpler than that? - Absolutely nothing! 300 00:22:02,487 --> 00:22:06,321 And absolutely nothing can go wrong! Just take out two bricks. 301 00:22:06,458 --> 00:22:08,824 Okey-dokey! 302 00:22:15,534 --> 00:22:17,627 - Despair not! - Despair what? 303 00:22:17,769 --> 00:22:21,136 Faint heart ne'er won fair maid! 304 00:22:22,574 --> 00:22:25,475 You talk an incredible amount of bollocks! 305 00:22:25,610 --> 00:22:27,874 Come on! Ssh! 306 00:22:28,847 --> 00:22:32,578 - Go to the kitchen. I'll tidy up in here. - Okey-dokey! 307 00:22:33,618 --> 00:22:37,486 - Mind the squeaky board! 308 00:22:37,622 --> 00:22:39,385 - That one? 309 00:22:39,524 --> 00:22:41,856 - That's the one. 310 00:22:45,163 --> 00:22:47,290 Me, too! 311 00:24:00,705 --> 00:24:04,698 - How are you doing, Eddie? - Very well, thank you. 312 00:24:04,843 --> 00:24:07,676 How much longer are you going to be? 313 00:24:07,813 --> 00:24:09,576 Quite a while. 314 00:24:09,714 --> 00:24:13,206 I'll just tidy things up in here. 315 00:24:40,445 --> 00:24:42,538 No, no, no! 316 00:25:17,649 --> 00:25:20,049 Time for a bit of work! 317 00:25:37,435 --> 00:25:39,403 Sssh! 318 00:25:55,253 --> 00:25:57,687 No one would ever know! 319 00:26:09,434 --> 00:26:11,698 Richie! 320 00:26:11,836 --> 00:26:13,827 Ssh! 321 00:26:13,972 --> 00:26:15,837 Richie! 322 00:26:17,542 --> 00:26:19,635 Why didn't we just pay our gas bill? 323 00:26:19,778 --> 00:26:23,236 - Richie! - Shut up! 324 00:26:28,420 --> 00:26:31,878 Ooh, you really made the earth move, you sex monster! 325 00:26:32,023 --> 00:26:36,722 Come on! Let's do it some more, you raunchy love handle! 326 00:26:38,263 --> 00:26:41,289 You great hunk of zebra! 327 00:26:47,138 --> 00:26:50,972 What the bloody hell do you think you're doing? 328 00:26:51,109 --> 00:26:54,340 - I thought I'd burn it off. - What, your face? 329 00:26:54,479 --> 00:26:56,106 No, the excess gas. 330 00:26:56,247 --> 00:26:59,910 How long will it take to burn off the North Sea gas reserves? 331 00:27:00,051 --> 00:27:02,349 - What do you reckon? - We should go! 332 00:27:02,487 --> 00:27:06,082 Okey-dokey. I'll just get rid of the evidence. 333 00:27:06,224 --> 00:27:10,490 We bloody did it! You and me together, from here to eternity! 334 00:27:10,629 --> 00:27:12,563 Hello... 335 00:27:13,832 --> 00:27:15,424 Up the stairs! 336 00:27:21,773 --> 00:27:23,604 In here! 337 00:27:29,714 --> 00:27:33,810 - Give me a hand, for Christ's sake! - Just a quick one for the album. 338 00:27:40,492 --> 00:27:44,451 Bloody hell, my kitchen! Help! 339 00:27:44,596 --> 00:27:49,329 - Help! Somebody call the Gas Board! - Hello. I'm from the Gas Board. 340 00:27:49,467 --> 00:27:53,904 Blimey, that was quick! My kitchen's on fire! 341 00:27:54,039 --> 00:27:56,473 No wonder your gas bill's so high! 342 00:27:56,608 --> 00:28:00,669 - How did this happen? - You tell me. You're the expert! 343 00:28:00,812 --> 00:28:03,144 - Where are the other two? - What? 344 00:28:03,281 --> 00:28:06,114 The two loonies from next door were here. 345 00:28:06,251 --> 00:28:09,812 - Here, in my flat?! - Aye! As large as life! 346 00:28:09,954 --> 00:28:12,718 Urrrgh! 347 00:28:12,857 --> 00:28:15,587 There we are. The last brick. 348 00:28:15,727 --> 00:28:18,218 Safe at last! I never thought we'd get away with it! 349 00:28:18,363 --> 00:28:20,991 Put it right there, old pal! 350 00:28:21,132 --> 00:28:22,394 No, I will not! 351 00:28:25,637 --> 00:28:27,036 Brains, Eddie. Brains over brawn! We won't see Rottweiler for a bit! 26464

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