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1
00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:51,141
Right.
2
00:00:51,284 --> 00:00:55,812
I'll bet another week's worth of washing up.
3
00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,891
I'll see your week's washing up...
4
00:01:02,095 --> 00:01:06,862
...and raise you four trips to the launderette,
5
00:01:07,667 --> 00:01:10,602
3p in real money...
6
00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:19,837
...and one cleaning and disinfecting
right round the back of the lavatory bowl.
7
00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:26,885
- That's cleaned me out.
- What have you got?
8
00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:28,920
Right.
9
00:01:29,055 --> 00:01:31,182
Three pairs!
10
00:01:31,324 --> 00:01:34,293
You're only allowed five cards!
11
00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:36,418
Shit...
12
00:01:36,563 --> 00:01:39,327
Two pairs. Two and a half pairs!
13
00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:41,991
Stand up.
14
00:01:42,135 --> 00:01:44,126
- No. I've got a hernia.
- No, you haven't.
15
00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:45,828
All the excitement gave me one.
16
00:01:45,972 --> 00:01:50,204
Stand up or I WILL give you a hernia! Cards!
17
00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:54,276
- Shoes.
- Don't be ridiculous!
18
00:01:54,414 --> 00:01:57,110
I saw you put 'em in there!
19
00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:02,288
- Underpants.
- Those are my best ones!
20
00:02:02,422 --> 00:02:06,085
I'm not angry, but we're playing
with a deck of 12 cards.
21
00:02:07,393 --> 00:02:09,554
All right.
22
00:02:14,701 --> 00:02:16,862
Right. Let's get on with the game.
23
00:02:17,003 --> 00:02:19,062
What have you got?
24
00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:23,972
Five kings.
25
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:30,480
- Damn! You get me every time!
- Come here, me little beauties!
26
00:02:30,617 --> 00:02:31,948
Let's see what we got.
27
00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:34,918
A signed photo of Sue Carpenter.
28
00:02:35,054 --> 00:02:38,990
A Chinese burn! I think I'll have that now!
29
00:02:39,125 --> 00:02:42,151
One day I'll learn the rules -
then you'll be for it!
30
00:02:46,966 --> 00:02:49,935
- Who can that be?
- I'm not expecting anyone.
31
00:02:50,069 --> 00:02:53,505
- Nor am I.
- It must be for someone else, then!
32
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:55,301
- Another game?
- You bet!
33
00:02:55,441 --> 00:02:59,172
- Which one?
- Doesn't matter. I don't know the rules.
34
00:02:59,312 --> 00:03:02,338
- "One Card Slam" it is.
- Okey-doke.
35
00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:04,609
Twelve quid!
36
00:03:06,986 --> 00:03:10,752
Bloody hell! No wonder they shoot
each other on those river boats!
37
00:03:10,890 --> 00:03:13,188
- I can't concentrate!
38
00:03:13,326 --> 00:03:16,818
- Answer the door!
- I don't have to, mate.
39
00:03:16,963 --> 00:03:19,454
Not for the next six years!
40
00:03:19,599 --> 00:03:22,534
- All right, I'm coming!
41
00:03:22,669 --> 00:03:24,933
- All right!
42
00:03:25,071 --> 00:03:27,835
Who do you think I am, Speedy Gonzales?
43
00:03:27,974 --> 00:03:32,934
That's enough of that!
That's my electricity. I'm not the Aga Khan!
44
00:03:33,079 --> 00:03:35,946
Cripes! It's the gas man!
45
00:03:36,082 --> 00:03:39,074
Hello, could I just read your meter?
46
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,777
HELLO, MR GAS MAN!
47
00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:42,751
- Hello.
- You what?
48
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,652
Hello, Mr Gas Man!
49
00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:47,487
- Hello again. Could I read...?
- Mr who?
50
00:03:47,627 --> 00:03:49,356
GAS MAN!
51
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:56,198
Do you have someone who looks after you?
52
00:03:56,336 --> 00:04:00,636
Could I see them,
because I need to read your meter?
53
00:04:00,773 --> 00:04:03,105
- Who is it, darling?
- IT'S THE GAS MAN!
54
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:08,112
- I think we've established that.
- Don't stay out here, dreamboat.
55
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,079
Show him in.
56
00:04:10,216 --> 00:04:12,150
Thank you.
57
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,619
It's nice and warm in here!
58
00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:19,020
I'll just have a look at your meter if I may.
59
00:04:19,158 --> 00:04:22,025
Here's the little fella.
60
00:04:23,563 --> 00:04:26,225
Don't look at that. It's very boring!
61
00:04:26,366 --> 00:04:29,130
I looked at it and fell into a coma!
62
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:33,399
That's where you're wrong. The ones
on this street are very interesting.
63
00:04:33,539 --> 00:04:36,667
Really? Why's that, then?
64
00:04:36,809 --> 00:04:42,008
Someone's complained that they're
paying too much for their gas.
65
00:04:42,148 --> 00:04:47,279
We've got to check all the meters
and make sure everything's OK.
66
00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:51,724
Have you checked next door yet?
67
00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:54,383
No, they're next.
68
00:04:54,527 --> 00:04:58,793
That is if I don't knock off before I get to him.
69
00:04:58,931 --> 00:05:02,526
It's quarter to six now,
70
00:05:02,669 --> 00:05:05,968
so if it takes me 15 minutes to do this one,
71
00:05:06,105 --> 00:05:09,632
I probably won't get to 'em
till tomorrow morning.
72
00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:14,240
That's odd!
73
00:05:14,380 --> 00:05:17,247
Is there some sort of problem, officer?
74
00:05:19,385 --> 00:05:19,976
It's just a strange reading.
75
00:05:20,119 --> 00:05:22,087
What does it say?
76
00:05:22,221 --> 00:05:26,385
Nought, nought, nought, nought...
nought, nought, nought!
77
00:05:26,526 --> 00:05:30,326
Yep. That'd be right.
78
00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:32,590
We don't use gas, do we, Eddie?
79
00:05:32,732 --> 00:05:37,032
- I don't even know what it is!
- All right, don't spoil it!
80
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:40,628
How do you keep it so warm in here, then?
81
00:05:40,773 --> 00:05:42,900
We make love!
82
00:05:44,944 --> 00:05:48,675
Not together, you understand? On our own.
83
00:05:51,484 --> 00:05:53,611
That's very interesting.
84
00:05:53,753 --> 00:05:56,187
Takes all sorts, don't it?
85
00:05:56,322 --> 00:05:59,018
Right, I think I'll be on my way.
86
00:05:59,158 --> 00:06:00,785
No!
87
00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:03,191
- Wait!
- What is it?
88
00:06:04,664 --> 00:06:07,258
Do you want a cup of tea?
89
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:10,130
Tea? I don't think I will, thank you.
90
00:06:10,269 --> 00:06:12,794
You must drink our tea!
91
00:06:12,939 --> 00:06:17,239
It's the best tea in London!
Sit down and drink it for 12 minutes.
92
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,845
I'd love some tea, thanks very much.
93
00:06:22,849 --> 00:06:26,114
Right, I'll put the kettle on, then.
94
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:32,882
- "Put the kettle on?"
- Put the kettle on... the floor.
95
00:06:34,026 --> 00:06:38,395
We won't be needing that
because we don't use gas.
96
00:06:39,699 --> 00:06:42,691
How do we usually make the tea?
97
00:06:45,204 --> 00:06:50,267
We usually use the water... from the hot tap.
98
00:06:51,811 --> 00:06:57,113
Yeah, that's what we do.
Funny the things you forget, eh?
99
00:07:06,325 --> 00:07:09,294
Nice trousers.
100
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:12,921
They remind me of a story I know.
101
00:07:13,065 --> 00:07:16,626
A long story. It lasts about 15 minutes.
102
00:07:20,039 --> 00:07:22,337
Once upon a time...
103
00:07:22,475 --> 00:07:26,878
...there was a big forest.
104
00:07:27,013 --> 00:07:31,143
In the middle of the forest, there lived...
105
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:33,275
...some trousers...
106
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:36,481
...called Dave.
107
00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:42,325
Come along! We're dying
for some refreshing tea!
108
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,089
Is your water heated by a gas boiler?
109
00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:49,691
Yeah... No, it isn't,
because we don't use gas
110
00:07:49,836 --> 00:07:52,327
because we don't know what it is.
111
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,940
Then why are you using the hot tap?
112
00:07:55,074 --> 00:07:57,907
We get the cold water from the hot tap.
113
00:07:58,044 --> 00:08:00,410
That saves wear and tear on the cold tap.
114
00:08:00,546 --> 00:08:02,776
How do you heat water for the tea?
115
00:08:02,915 --> 00:08:06,749
We don't. We have it cold, don't we, Eddie?
116
00:08:07,954 --> 00:08:11,287
Yes, that's right. We have it cold...
117
00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:16,760
- But your pilot light's on.
- Is it? God, it's caught fire!
118
00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:18,761
That was a close one, wasn't it?
119
00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:21,799
Here we go, then.
120
00:08:21,934 --> 00:08:25,392
Three mugs of steaming cold tea!
121
00:08:27,139 --> 00:08:30,131
Better drink it before it gets warm.
122
00:08:30,276 --> 00:08:34,144
Cheerio, then! This is the best tea in London!
123
00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:37,739
Mmm!
124
00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:51,594
Mmm, lovely! Come on, Eddie.
You're not drinking yours.
125
00:08:52,765 --> 00:08:55,962
I know. I'm watching you enjoying yours.
126
00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:58,969
Do your fair share, you bastard! And you!
127
00:08:59,105 --> 00:09:02,871
- I don't think I'll bother.
- I drank mine. It's not fair!
128
00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:07,378
- I think I'll be on me way.
- You'll sit down and drink your tea!
129
00:09:07,513 --> 00:09:10,277
Come on. All of it! Now!
130
00:09:18,858 --> 00:09:20,348
Thank you very much!
131
00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:24,654
Lovely! I'll be on me way, then.
132
00:09:24,797 --> 00:09:27,664
- You can't go!
- Why not?
133
00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:30,963
- Because I love you!
- What?
134
00:09:31,103 --> 00:09:34,595
I can't live without you -
not for the next eight minutes!
135
00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:38,005
- That's it. I'm off!
- Stay where you are, mate!
136
00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:40,942
- No. I'm on me way.
- You're not going anywhere!
137
00:10:08,641 --> 00:10:10,905
You're not going anywhere, mate!
138
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:15,604
Mate? Mate?
139
00:10:16,882 --> 00:10:19,077
Eddie, you've killed him!
140
00:10:22,088 --> 00:10:23,988
I never touched him!
141
00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:27,422
But the frying pan did and you touched that.
142
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:30,495
You killed him. He was dead
before he hit the ground.
143
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,827
Then why did you keep hitting him
with the frying pan?
144
00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:35,593
For fun.
145
00:10:35,735 --> 00:10:38,397
God! What are we going to do?
146
00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:43,601
About 25 years, I think!
147
00:10:43,743 --> 00:10:45,574
Rubbish! It was an accident.
148
00:10:45,711 --> 00:10:48,179
He fell over on his way to the door.
149
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:52,683
And banged himself repeatedly
over the head with a frying pan.
150
00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:55,378
You're right... We're done for!
151
00:10:55,521 --> 00:10:56,954
Wake up, you bastard!
152
00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:03,291
- Calm down!
- I am calm!
153
00:11:03,429 --> 00:11:06,660
ARRGH! YOU BASTARD!
154
00:11:07,733 --> 00:11:10,327
Calm down, you hysterical girl's blouse!
155
00:11:10,469 --> 00:11:12,767
I'm sorry! OK...
156
00:11:12,905 --> 00:11:17,399
- God, this is real.
- That's right. We have to be sensible.
157
00:11:17,543 --> 00:11:22,503
Sensible... Let's eat him. Sorry, stupid idea.
158
00:11:22,648 --> 00:11:25,913
We're not allowed to use the gas.
159
00:11:26,052 --> 00:11:29,544
Maybe he's just stunned.
Why don't you give him the kiss of life?
160
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:30,951
Yeah!
161
00:11:31,090 --> 00:11:34,548
No, I will not, you sad pervey!
162
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:39,563
We've got a dead body in the house
and you want to sexually assault it!
163
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:43,897
You've always wanted to find out
what snogging's really like!
164
00:11:53,779 --> 00:11:55,804
All right.
165
00:12:01,087 --> 00:12:04,181
Hold his nose and blow
a load of air into his lungs.
166
00:12:04,323 --> 00:12:08,316
That's not very romantic.
No wonder you're still single!
167
00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:11,658
- I'll do it.
- He's my bird! Wanna fight about it?
168
00:12:12,431 --> 00:12:15,889
- Get on with it!
- All right, I am!
169
00:12:19,505 --> 00:12:23,635
I'll give him a go with this!
Put that in his mouth.
170
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:30,847
How's he looking?
171
00:12:30,983 --> 00:12:33,178
Fatter.
172
00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:35,219
The colour's come back to his cheeks.
173
00:12:35,354 --> 00:12:39,916
Yeah, but it shouldn't be bright purple.
This isn't going to work!
174
00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:47,556
Is he related to you?
175
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:50,464
- Hang on, I've had a better idea!
- No!
176
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,537
No, Eddie, no!
177
00:12:52,671 --> 00:12:56,732
Have you no shame? No, it's not natural!
178
00:12:56,876 --> 00:13:00,107
I've got to do the washing up in those!
179
00:13:02,648 --> 00:13:05,583
- Oh, that's what you're doing!
- Right...
180
00:13:05,718 --> 00:13:07,686
Open his shirt.
181
00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:12,120
I'm just going to undo your zip.
It's nothing sexy!
182
00:13:12,258 --> 00:13:15,056
Lie back and relax.
183
00:13:15,194 --> 00:13:17,185
That's what you're doing anyway!
184
00:13:17,329 --> 00:13:20,025
I'll do it! Hold these.
185
00:13:25,704 --> 00:13:30,767
Stop dancing! He's not impressed.
Stop messing about!
186
00:13:32,244 --> 00:13:34,838
- Phwoar!
- Here goes.
187
00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:47,583
It's no good. He's dead.
188
00:13:50,596 --> 00:13:53,759
- How shall we get rid of the body?
- Well...
189
00:13:53,899 --> 00:13:55,867
I'm still in favour of eating him.
190
00:13:56,001 --> 00:13:59,698
- We could have him cold.
- I don't like the look of him.
191
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:02,933
We'll stick a picture
of Sue Carpenter over his face.
192
00:14:03,075 --> 00:14:05,703
You'll tuck in then! I would!
193
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,676
Here you go.
194
00:14:09,014 --> 00:14:12,973
Here we go.
There's so much to choose from!
195
00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:22,792
I've got a better idea!
We don't have to eat him.
196
00:14:22,928 --> 00:14:26,091
We'll get someone else to eat him for us!
197
00:14:29,268 --> 00:14:30,997
Great, he's still open.
198
00:14:31,136 --> 00:14:34,469
Hello, Amal, how's the kebab business?
199
00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:39,442
I don't want a conversation about it.
It was just an English pleasantry.
200
00:14:39,578 --> 00:14:42,012
How are you off for meat?
201
00:14:42,147 --> 00:14:43,705
Bugger you, then!
202
00:14:43,849 --> 00:14:46,841
Damn! His Alsatian got run over this morning
203
00:14:46,986 --> 00:14:50,820
so he's all right for meat
for the rest of the week!
204
00:14:50,956 --> 00:14:53,117
What shall we do with the body?
205
00:14:53,259 --> 00:14:54,658
What body?
206
00:14:54,793 --> 00:14:57,762
Eddie, that is absolutely...
207
00:15:00,299 --> 00:15:02,062
...pathetic!
208
00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:05,637
It's early days. We've got to flatten it out a bit.
209
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:15,908
That's not bad, actually! I think
we're going to get away with this!
210
00:15:16,048 --> 00:15:18,778
I'll pretend to be a policeman.
211
00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:24,878
Hello, hello, hello. What's that
dead body doing under the carpet?
212
00:15:26,191 --> 00:15:30,491
I've just had an idea!
Why don't we stick him on a bus?
213
00:15:30,629 --> 00:15:34,065
The conductor would notice
when he didn't pay his fare.
214
00:15:34,199 --> 00:15:38,636
- No. Let's stick him ON a bus.
- The conductor would notice him!
215
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:40,432
I mean on the roof!
216
00:15:40,572 --> 00:15:44,372
You don't get conductors on the roof!
217
00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:47,604
That's what makes the plan so flawless!
218
00:15:47,746 --> 00:15:50,874
Even if he's found,
they won't know where he came from.
219
00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:55,919
Unless they look at his pocket book
and see that his last job was here!
220
00:15:56,055 --> 00:16:00,424
That's no problem. A fiver!
That should come in handy!
221
00:16:00,592 --> 00:16:03,220
Right, then, where are we?
222
00:16:03,362 --> 00:16:05,887
Right...
223
00:16:06,031 --> 00:16:10,229
"No problem with the meter in this flat.
224
00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:14,863
"Don't check for another three...
225
00:16:15,007 --> 00:16:17,305
"...hundred years.
226
00:16:18,610 --> 00:16:24,048
"Nice people, especially
the bloke with the glasses
227
00:16:24,183 --> 00:16:27,812
"who wasn't holding a frying pan.
228
00:16:29,788 --> 00:16:33,918
- "Nice atmos altogether, really."
- All right, Dickens. Get on with it!
229
00:16:34,059 --> 00:16:37,119
"Left in high spirits...
230
00:16:38,797 --> 00:16:42,528
"to indulge in my hobby...
231
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:45,569
"...of bus surfing."
232
00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:49,006
Quick! There's one at the lights!
233
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:03,045
One... two... three...
234
00:17:04,656 --> 00:17:07,284
Bloody hell, my head!
235
00:17:09,395 --> 00:17:11,727
Where am I? What happened?
236
00:17:15,901 --> 00:17:19,564
You banged your head
on the frying pan Eddie was holding.
237
00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:22,265
Then you tried to throw yourself
out of the window.
238
00:17:22,408 --> 00:17:24,933
It's the loony! Let me out of here!
239
00:17:25,077 --> 00:17:29,571
You've got no time to go next door now.
Get home to your wife.
240
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:35,711
- Right... I haven't got a wife!
- That'll be the amnesia, mate.
241
00:17:35,854 --> 00:17:38,550
I wonder where I live? Agh!
242
00:17:43,695 --> 00:17:46,755
You stupid bastard!
I knew you'd get us into trouble!
243
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:51,336
- He looked all right to me.
- We nicked next door's gas supply!
244
00:17:51,470 --> 00:17:52,994
What time is it now?
245
00:17:53,138 --> 00:17:56,699
The big hand is... Quarter past six.
246
00:17:56,842 --> 00:18:01,211
We've got till nine o'clock
tomorrow morning, which is...
247
00:18:01,346 --> 00:18:03,837
That's a difficult one, isn't it?
248
00:18:03,982 --> 00:18:08,146
There's a five in it. No...
Four hours, 27 minutes.
249
00:18:08,287 --> 00:18:12,383
I was about to say that.
We've got four hours and 27 minutes
250
00:18:12,524 --> 00:18:15,789
to remove that illegal gas pipeline
we connected to next door's mains.
251
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:19,625
I'll keep him talking. You go into
the kitchen and do the dangerous stuff.
252
00:18:20,966 --> 00:18:22,934
That's a trifle unfair.
253
00:18:23,068 --> 00:18:25,036
Have you got the wrench?
254
00:18:25,170 --> 00:18:28,571
No, it's just my underpants are a bit tight.
255
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:41,217
No, there's no time for merriment.
256
00:18:41,353 --> 00:18:45,153
- We've got to do a job.
- OK.
257
00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:48,885
Let's hasten to the neighbour's.
Shouldn't be any problem.
258
00:18:49,027 --> 00:18:50,688
- He's a nice man.
- True.
259
00:18:53,365 --> 00:18:55,959
- Evening, Mr Rottweiler!
- What is it?
260
00:18:56,101 --> 00:18:57,432
May we come in?
261
00:18:57,569 --> 00:19:01,835
- Bugger off! I've got a bird here!
- Here's... half a bottle of sherry.
262
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:04,101
Ta very much. Anything else?
263
00:19:04,243 --> 00:19:08,111
- Who is it, darling?
- Them bastards from next door!
264
00:19:08,247 --> 00:19:12,308
- I won't be a tick.
- Have you got a real woman in there?
265
00:19:12,451 --> 00:19:15,181
- Can we have a look?
- Sod off!
266
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,517
- Just a peek!
- Do you mind if I get my camera?
267
00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:20,591
Don't make me angry!
268
00:19:20,726 --> 00:19:25,993
Something very special's happened
to me. I'm in love! It's the real thing.
269
00:19:26,131 --> 00:19:30,500
I don't want you two jerks messing things up!
270
00:19:30,636 --> 00:19:35,300
If I see either of you again tonight, I'll kill ya!
271
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:48,077
- What?!
- You shut my fingers in the door.
272
00:19:49,054 --> 00:19:51,181
Agh!
273
00:20:03,569 --> 00:20:06,037
Keep your head down!
274
00:20:07,072 --> 00:20:09,267
What?
275
00:20:12,744 --> 00:20:15,008
Keep your head down!
276
00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:16,637
Pardon?
277
00:20:16,782 --> 00:20:18,716
It doesn't matter!
278
00:20:30,395 --> 00:20:32,090
What?
279
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:34,529
It doesn't matter!
280
00:20:34,666 --> 00:20:37,567
- What doesn't matter?
- What I just said!
281
00:20:37,703 --> 00:20:39,864
- What did you just say?
- It doesn't matter!
282
00:20:40,005 --> 00:20:41,597
No, I heard that. Before that.
283
00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:44,868
- I said keep your head down.
- Oh!
284
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:48,103
I know that!
285
00:20:59,358 --> 00:21:01,189
Arsehole!
286
00:21:01,326 --> 00:21:03,624
I heard that!
287
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:09,363
- Bloody Nora!
- Shut up!
288
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:13,970
They're having it off!
289
00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:16,631
I'll be right over!
290
00:21:18,477 --> 00:21:21,378
Bloody hell!
291
00:21:21,513 --> 00:21:25,279
I told you! You DO do it like that!
292
00:21:25,417 --> 00:21:28,215
God! Who'd have thought it?
293
00:21:28,353 --> 00:21:32,153
Shove over. I can't see. I can
only see one nipple! Move over.
294
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:35,089
- I want to see some more!
- Careful!
295
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:44,361
Get one shot.
296
00:21:48,173 --> 00:21:52,405
According to my calculations,
Rottweiler's kitchen is here.
297
00:21:52,544 --> 00:21:54,705
We'll make a little hole,
298
00:21:54,846 --> 00:21:59,044
you squeeze through,
fix the gas and go out the front door.
299
00:21:59,184 --> 00:22:02,347
- What could be simpler than that?
- Absolutely nothing!
300
00:22:02,487 --> 00:22:06,321
And absolutely nothing can go wrong!
Just take out two bricks.
301
00:22:06,458 --> 00:22:08,824
Okey-dokey!
302
00:22:15,534 --> 00:22:17,627
- Despair not!
- Despair what?
303
00:22:17,769 --> 00:22:21,136
Faint heart ne'er won fair maid!
304
00:22:22,574 --> 00:22:25,475
You talk an incredible amount of bollocks!
305
00:22:25,610 --> 00:22:27,874
Come on! Ssh!
306
00:22:28,847 --> 00:22:32,578
- Go to the kitchen. I'll tidy up in here.
- Okey-dokey!
307
00:22:33,618 --> 00:22:37,486
- Mind the squeaky board!
308
00:22:37,622 --> 00:22:39,385
- That one?
309
00:22:39,524 --> 00:22:41,856
- That's the one.
310
00:22:45,163 --> 00:22:47,290
Me, too!
311
00:24:00,705 --> 00:24:04,698
- How are you doing, Eddie?
- Very well, thank you.
312
00:24:04,843 --> 00:24:07,676
How much longer are you going to be?
313
00:24:07,813 --> 00:24:09,576
Quite a while.
314
00:24:09,714 --> 00:24:13,206
I'll just tidy things up in here.
315
00:24:40,445 --> 00:24:42,538
No, no, no!
316
00:25:17,649 --> 00:25:20,049
Time for a bit of work!
317
00:25:37,435 --> 00:25:39,403
Sssh!
318
00:25:55,253 --> 00:25:57,687
No one would ever know!
319
00:26:09,434 --> 00:26:11,698
Richie!
320
00:26:11,836 --> 00:26:13,827
Ssh!
321
00:26:13,972 --> 00:26:15,837
Richie!
322
00:26:17,542 --> 00:26:19,635
Why didn't we just pay our gas bill?
323
00:26:19,778 --> 00:26:23,236
- Richie!
- Shut up!
324
00:26:28,420 --> 00:26:31,878
Ooh, you really made the earth move,
you sex monster!
325
00:26:32,023 --> 00:26:36,722
Come on! Let's do it some more,
you raunchy love handle!
326
00:26:38,263 --> 00:26:41,289
You great hunk of zebra!
327
00:26:47,138 --> 00:26:50,972
What the bloody hell
do you think you're doing?
328
00:26:51,109 --> 00:26:54,340
- I thought I'd burn it off.
- What, your face?
329
00:26:54,479 --> 00:26:56,106
No, the excess gas.
330
00:26:56,247 --> 00:26:59,910
How long will it take to burn off
the North Sea gas reserves?
331
00:27:00,051 --> 00:27:02,349
- What do you reckon?
- We should go!
332
00:27:02,487 --> 00:27:06,082
Okey-dokey. I'll just get rid of the evidence.
333
00:27:06,224 --> 00:27:10,490
We bloody did it! You and me
together, from here to eternity!
334
00:27:10,629 --> 00:27:12,563
Hello...
335
00:27:13,832 --> 00:27:15,424
Up the stairs!
336
00:27:21,773 --> 00:27:23,604
In here!
337
00:27:29,714 --> 00:27:33,810
- Give me a hand, for Christ's sake!
- Just a quick one for the album.
338
00:27:40,492 --> 00:27:44,451
Bloody hell, my kitchen! Help!
339
00:27:44,596 --> 00:27:49,329
- Help! Somebody call the Gas Board!
- Hello. I'm from the Gas Board.
340
00:27:49,467 --> 00:27:53,904
Blimey, that was quick! My kitchen's on fire!
341
00:27:54,039 --> 00:27:56,473
No wonder your gas bill's so high!
342
00:27:56,608 --> 00:28:00,669
- How did this happen?
- You tell me. You're the expert!
343
00:28:00,812 --> 00:28:03,144
- Where are the other two?
- What?
344
00:28:03,281 --> 00:28:06,114
The two loonies from next door were here.
345
00:28:06,251 --> 00:28:09,812
- Here, in my flat?!
- Aye! As large as life!
346
00:28:09,954 --> 00:28:12,718
Urrrgh!
347
00:28:12,857 --> 00:28:15,587
There we are. The last brick.
348
00:28:15,727 --> 00:28:18,218
Safe at last! I never thought
we'd get away with it!
349
00:28:18,363 --> 00:28:20,991
Put it right there, old pal!
350
00:28:21,132 --> 00:28:22,394
No, I will not!
351
00:28:25,637 --> 00:28:27,036
Brains, Eddie. Brains over brawn!
We won't see Rottweiler for a bit!
26464
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