Original subtitles

Parker Abrams.

I'm at Kresge hall.

Buffy summers. Stevenson.

Previously on Buffy the vampire slayer...

What are you doing?

Making a choice.

Parker, did I do something wrong?

Didn't you have fun?

Is that all it was?

What else was it supposed to be?

He's manipulative and shallow,

and why doesn't he want me?

I think you're missing something

about the whole poop-head principle.

Anya, hi again.

So, college not so scary after all, huh?

It's turning out to be a lot like high school.

Which I can handle.

I don't know.

I was going for ferocious-scary,

but it's coming out more dryly sardonic.

It does appear to be mocking you with its eyeholes.

Yet its nosehole seems sad and full of self-loathing.

What do you think, buff?

I was just thinking about the life of a pumpkin.

Grow up in the sun, happily entwined with others,

and then someone comes along, cuts you open,

and rips your guts out.

Okay... And on that happy note,

got a treat for tomorrow night's

second annual Halloween screening.

People, prepare to have your spines tingled

and your gooses bumped by the terrifying fantasia.

Fantasia?

Maybe it's because of all the horrific things we've seen,

but hippos wearing tutus just don't unnerve me the way they used to.

Phantasm.

It was supposed to be phantasm.

Stupid video store.

I thought we were doing the Alpha delt thing.

What... Thing?

The scary house? Sounds kind of lame.

It actually borders on fun.

You have to go through the whole scary house maze

to get to the party,

which is usually worth getting to.

Those guys go all out.

As witnessed last Friday.

There's a party?

We didn't tell you?

No, it's cool.

You guys got your little college thing.

I'm fine. I mean, I got better things to do

than tag along to some fraternity.

You can come.

'Kay. But only because I lied about having better things to do.

Laughs will be had by all.

I'm gonna get going.

Now? The night's still...

Well, okay, it's a little mature, but still...

I'm sleepy. You guys have fun.

You want me to come with?

No, I'm fine.

Sad Buffy.

She didn't even touch her pumpkin.

It's a freak with no face.

She still suffering a little post-Parker depression?

Bailing on the buff.

Does anyone else wanna smack that guy?

Oh. Jeez, that hurt.

What the hell is wrong with you, lady?!

That's what I'd like to know.

I've got the basics down...

Levitation, charms, glamours.

I just feel like I've plateaued Wicca-wise.

What's the next level?

Transmutation, conjuring,

bringing forth something from nothing.

Gets you pretty close to the primal forces.

A little scary.

Well, no one's pushing.

You know, if it's too much, don't do it.

Don't do it?

What kind of encouragement is that?

This is an encouragement talk?

I thought it was "share my pain."

I don't know.

Then again, what is college for

if not experimenting?

You know, maybe I can handle it.

I'll know when I've reached my limit.

Wine coolers?

Magic.

Ooh. Didn't encourage her, did you?

Where's supportive boyfriend guy?

Oh, he's picking up your dry cleaning.

But he told me to tell you,

he's afraid you're gonna get hurt.

Okay, Brutus.

Brutus. Uh, Caesar?

Betrayal... Trusted friend.

Back-stabby.

I'm with you on the reference, but...

I won't lie about the fact that I worry.

I know what it's like to have power you can't control.

And every time I start to wolf out,

I touch something... Deep... Dark.

It's not fun.

But just know that whatever you decide,

I'll back your play.

See?

Concerned boy is sweet boy.

I know.

I kinda like him worrying, anyway.

You know, um...

I forgot to...

Be hungry.

Wait. Buffy.

Buffy.

Don't let jerky Parker chase you away.

He didn't.

I just don't wanna deal with this right now.

I'm taking a holiday from dealing,

happily vacationing in the land of not coping.

You'll feel better at the party tonight.

Maybe you'll even meet someone.

Willow, I don't wanna meet someone.

I've reached my quota on someones.

Besides, I think I'm gonna have to patrol, anyway.

Tonight? But it's Halloween.

I'll double check with Giles,

but I'm sure he's gonna think

I should be on active slayer duty.

He doesn't care about Halloween.

Happy Hal...

Hello, Buffy.

Oh... My god.

It's a sombrero.

And it's on your head.

It seemed festive. Come in.

Candy?

What is going on here?

You hate Halloween.

I...I've never said any such thing.

As my watcher's duties took precedence,

I simply hadn't taken time to...

Well, to embrace its inherent charms.

Until now.

Look, look.

It's alive!

You see?

See how he... Shakes?

Is there something you wanted?

I was thinking that I should patrol tonight.

You know, possibly the cemetery,

or if you had a better su...

Could you please take that off?

Oh, yes, of course.

I see. Is there some specific danger you were sensing?

No.

But then we were all caught off guard

when Ethan turned everyone into their costumes.

True, but what happened then was anomalous.

Creatures of the night shy away from Halloween.

They find it all much too crass.

Hard to believe.

Uh, well, I promise you,

there's little likelihood

of any supernatural activity tonight.

Sure you don't want one?

♪♪

I come bearing spiders.

Sound system's not gonna cut it.

It's nothin' but lame.

You want me to call oz?

He can probably hook us up.

Do it.

If we cannot scare the young women,

they will not fall into our arms.

We'll have womanless arms.

Halloween's not about thrills, chills, and funny costumes.

It's about getting laid.

Is there any holiday that's not about getting laid?

Arbor day.

Call oz, dude.

Done.

And, oh,

you wanted a symbol to paint upstairs...

Something mystical.

Check this out.

Anya. You really have to get this knocking thing down.

How did you...

Your uncle Rory let me in.

Does he always smell like peppermint?

The man likes his schnapps.

What are you doing here?

You haven't called.

Not once.

You said you were over me.

You just accepted that?

I only said that because I thought that's what you wanted to hear.

That's the funny thing about me...

I tend to hear the actual words people say

and accept them at face value.

That's stupid.

I accept that.

I can't say seeing you

falls into the realm of a bad thing.

Really?

I thought maybe we could go out tonight

for our anniversary.

Anniversary?

It's been exactly one week since we copulated.

Did you forget?

No, of course not.

It's just I already have plans with Buffy, Willow and oz.

It's Halloween, you know.

I don't understand.

Every October 31st, we mortals dress up in masks...

No, no. I understand that inane ritual.

It's those people.

And you continue to associate with them

though you share little in common.

What are you talking about?

I mean, they go to college. You don't.

They no longer live at home.

You do.

Hey, those things...

The bonds of true friendships transcends...

Could we just change the subject?

Okay, okay, don't get upset with me.

I just wondered.

If you want, you can come with me tonight to this party.

You mean, like a date?

Is that what this is?

Are we dating?

There are definitely datelike qualities at work here.

Oh. You'll need a costume.

A costume?

Dress up. You know, something scary.

Scary? Scary how?

Anya, you, ex-demon, terrorized mankind for centuries.

I'm sure you'll come up with something.

Excuse me, professor Walsh?

I came to get today's assignments.

I, uh, couldn't make it to class

for personal reasons.

Right. I count 4 limbs, a head.

No visible scarring.

So I assume your personal issue

wasn't a life-threatening accident of any kind

and I'm therefore uninterested.

You've got problems, solve them on your own time.

Miss another class, and you're out.

She means it, you know.

Yeah.

I got the impression she wasn't saying it to make me laugh.

You gotta be aware your work's taken a little downturn lately.

I can't remember the last time I saw your hand up.

Does stretching count?

Things get pretty intense freshman year,

as I dimly recall.

Too much fun or not enough?

Both, actually.

Yeah, well, you just gotta keep your priorities.

Professor Walsh is worth your time.

Thanks.

I'll get this done tonight.

Tonight? It's Halloween.

What, you're not gonna dress up and go party?

Nah. I have a lot of work to do.

I may be out of line here,

and it's not really my business,

but you seem like the kind of person

who makes things really hard on themselves.

Halloween isn't a night for responsibility.

It's when the ghosts and goblins come out.

That's actually a misnomer.

Well, I didn't mean real ones.

But, hey, there is some good, scary fun

to be had on campus tonight.

Yeah? What are you doing?

Well, I am gonna sit here and grade papers.

Scary.

Very.

Well, thanks for the pep talk, coach.

Don't make fun.

I worked long and hard to get this pompous.

No. I mean it.

You're welcome.

Okay. Watch your step, boys.

Paint's still wet in a few spots.

Thanks for the loan, man. Our sound system sucks.

Mi Casio es su Casio.

Well, that's an interesting little design.

What does it mean?

No clue. I got it out of this book.

There's a lot of really cool stuff in there about...

Ooh! Grapes.

Wow. Peeled.

You guys know how to spoil your guests.

Eyeballs, man.

Blindfold chicks,

have them put their hands in the bowl

and tell them it's eyeballs.

They love that.

And here I was wasting time buying them flowers

and complimenting them on their shoes.

So, you go through the whole house of horrors downstairs,

and it ends up here.

Sweet.

You fratly guys have a nice setup.

Hey, mighty, mighty Alpha Delts.

You should think about pledging.

Oh, Xander's a civilian.

Ah. Townie, huh? Didn't know.

He looked so normal.

Should we let him come to the party, oz?

Hey, standing right here.

Crank it!

Sensing a disturbance in the force, master?

Left speaker's crackling a little bit.

And you feel stabbing it is the proper solution?

I'm just gonna trim the wire. Might be a short.

Ah!

Oz?

Cut myself.

It's okay.

Playing with knives? Fun, yes, but not safe.

Well, when you bleed to death

I got dibs on your equipment.

Thanks again for doing this at the last minute.

Oh, I'm just glad I could find it.

There. Try it now.

I let down the hem and loosened it a little around the hood.

Oh, it feels better.

Oh, no.

Someone's getting nostalgic face.

I'm sorry.

I'm thinking about that little girl who wore that.

What is it, 5... 6 years ago?

Little red riding hood was the cutting edge in costumes.

Oh, your father loved to take you out.

He was such a pain.

12 years old, and I can't go trick-or-treating by myself?

He just wanted to keep you safe.

No, he wanted the candy. I was just the beard.

That's not true, actually. The candy was for me.

Your father loved spending time with you.

Not enough, I guess.

Buffy.

Oh, that just paved right over memory Lane, huh?

You know the divorce had nothing to do with you.

I don't know.

I'm starting to feel like there's a pattern here.

Open your heart to someone, and he bails on you.

Maybe it's easier to just not let anyone in.

I thought it might be easier.

You must've noticed that I'm not exactly the social butterfly

that I was when I was with your dad.

I don't think I made a single new friend

the year we moved to sunnydale.

Why not?

Fear.

I didn't believe I could trust anyone again.

It's taken time and a lot of effort,

but I've got a nice circle of friends now.

I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm still a little gun-shy.

It certainly didn't help that my last boyfriend

turned out to be a homicidal robot.

I will always be here for you,

and you've got Mr. Giles and your friends.

Believe me, there's nothing to be afraid of.

♪♪

No. I'll just meet you at your place.

Yeah, Buffy said she was coming, but I haven't seen her.

We have to make sure she has fun.

We have to force fun upon her.

Yeah, and if Parker shows up, we'll just ax murder him.

That's halloweeny.

Okay. See ya in a bit.

Willow, you gotta stop by the room.

I'm late for battle or I would. I love your outfit, though.

There's nothing going on here.

I saw you flirting with her.

Do we have to do this every time?

I love you. You know that.

Okay, rach, what's in the next one?

You guys are sick.

Here. Gimme your hand.

This is gross.

Eyeballs, Rachel. They're eyeballs.

Woooaaaah!

Aah!

Hey, red.

What you got in the basket, little girl?

Weapons.

Oh.

Just in case.

Like the tux, Xander.

Bond. James Bond.

Insurance. In case we get turned into our costumes again,

I'm goin' for a cool secret agent guy.

I hate to break it to you,

but you'll probably end up cool head waiter guy.

As long as I'm cool and wield some kind of power.

Wil. Medieval wil.

Hail, ye olde... Varletty... Thou.

I'm Joan of arc.

I figured we had a lot in common,

seeing as how I was almost burned at the stake,

and plus, she had that close relationship with god.

And you are?

Of course.

I wish I'd thought of that

before I put down my deposit.

I could've been god.

Blasphemer.

Nice costumes.

Very stealthy.

What are they supposed to be?

NATO?

Oh, yeah. I invited Anya to join us,

but she's having some trouble finding a scary costume,

so she's just gonna meet us there.

Perfect. Everybody's got a date but third-wheel Buffy.

You're not a third wheel.

Technically speaking, you're a fifth wheel.

We're gonna have the best time.

Aah! Oh, god!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Let the horrors begin.

Oh, god, help me.

Release me!

The joint's not jumpin'.

Where is everybody?

Follow the signs.

Terrifying.

If I were Abbott and Costello, this would be fairly traumatic.

Ew! Aah! Cobweb!

Okay, that part was realistic.

Frat boys aren't too obsessive with their cleaning.

Might not be decoration, per Se.

Aah!

I wasn't scared. I was in the spirit.

And we'll back ya up on that,

even if they question us separately.

Aah!

Ew! Get it off!

It's gone.

Okay, that is not sanitary.

You know, let's get to the party part of the... Party.

Yeah. Are you sure it's off me?

Yeah.

I thought this led to...

What is it?

Blood.

Real blood.

Okay, actual creeps have been given. Bravo, frat boys.

Shh! Do you hear something?

Like a squeaking noise?

Oh, it's these rented shoes.

Patent leather. I asked the guy to...

No, wait.

It's something else. I hear it, too.

It's something like...

Oz, don't. It might be...

Rubber.

It's made of rubber.

What the hell is going on here?

Look, maybe it's nothing.

Maybe it's just a neat trick.

You know, something done with wires or...

Release me!

Or it might be something else.

Where's the door?

Hey! Hello!

Aah! Help me!

Help me, please! Save me. Help me.

Xander.

Where's the stairs?

Where's the door?

This is the way we came in, right?

We just went in a circle.

Thank the lord.

You're welcome.

Hey, I have a neat idea. Let's get out of here.

And you were so anxious for me to come.

I'm serious, Buffy. We don't know what we're dealing with.

Okay, my turn.

Does anyone hear that?

As soon as we start dealing with it,

I'll know what it is I'm dealing with.

Do you hear something?

Like I said, sounds like a hissing.

It's like a "ssss" noise?

I thought the word hissing

kind of covered that nicely.

Oh, god.

I'm sorry. I didn't know. Sorry.

Chaz.

Didn't know.

What's happening?

It, uh...

What is it?

It's alive.

It's alive.

What's alive?

He's in shock.

Chaz, what happened here?

Aah!

I think the cape took most of it.

Let me see.

It could need stitches. Should at least get a bandage or something.

Cowering in a closet is starting to seem like a reasonable plan.

What closet?

I'm gonna make my way upstairs

and see if there are any people up there.

You guys find a way out of the house and use it.

You're telling us to run away and leave you behind?

We need help.

We need the only person that can make sense of what's happening.

Oh... Just a minute.

Coming.

Happy Hal... Xander's in trouble.

You've got to do something right now.

Anya.

Are you listening? Xander's trapped.

Uh, where's Buffy and the others?

Oh, they're trapped, too, but we've gotta save Xander.

Slow down. I need you to be more specific.

All right, um, we were supposed to meet at this house,

and I got there, and there was no door where a door should be,

and then I see this girl standing in a window,

and then... poof... She's gone.

She vanished from the window?

No. The window vanished from the house.

Hmm. Matter and reality distortion.

Like a summoning spell's temporal flux.

What?

Hmm? Oh, never mind. I just need to get some supplies together.

I wouldn't worry about Xander.

At least he's amongst friends.

Will, I'm telling you...

Telling me? You're telling me?

I can't do my job if I have to worry about each of your safety.

It's not your decision.

Gotta disagree with you there.

Oh, of course you do.

Let's all take a breath. Buffy, maybe...

Being the slayer doesn't automatically make you boss.

You're as lost as the rest of us.

All right, what are we talkin' about?

It's a simple incantation.

A guiding spell for travelers

when they become lost or disoriented.

And how does it work?

It conjures an emissary from the beyond

that lights the way.

Conjuring. Wil, let's be realistic here.

Okay, your basic spells are usually only about 50-50.

Oh, yeah?

Well... So's your face.

What?

What does that mean?

I'm not your sidekick.

Wil, hang on.

Well, that was a bunch of laughs.

Look, Buffy, we're all tired and a little edgy.

Maybe Willow's overreacting.

I'm sure part of it's because of how you've been pushing-away girl lately.

But now is not the time to let that stuff tear us apart.

What I'm saying is, is I'm right with ya, right by your side.

Xander?

Funny how you still haven't lost your sense of inappropriate humor.

Xander, where did you go?

Buffy, knock it off.

Skit's over. I'm right here.

This is so typical of him.

Typical?

Xander!

Buffy!

Buff?

She thinks I'm not ready to be a full-blown witch.

I can handle the dark forces as good as anyone else.

It's not that hard. It's just a guiding spell.

And I'm careful and all.

This floor used to have windows.

Look, we found the stairs.

Buffy didn't find the stairs. No, sir.

I don't think you guys are thinking clearly.

We just need to get up to the goat room, and maybe...

Wil, something's happening.

Something good?

Oh, no... Not good.

I'm changing.

But... but you can't. There's no moon tonight.

I have to get away.

No. We need to find something to restrain you...

Like a rope or chains or something.

There's no time.

I can do the guiding spell. I know I can make it work.

Wil, please.

No. No!

Ow!

Oz.

Oz, don't leave me!

Don't leave me! Don't leave me.

Don't leave me! Don't leave me!

Don't leave me!

There I am.

I didn't go anywhere. Great.

Now I just gotta live with the fact that no one else can see me.

I can see you.

You're not gonna change. You're not gonna change.

You're not gonna change. You're not gonna change.

You're not gonna change. You're not gonna change.

You're not gonna change. You're not gonna change.

You're not gonna change.

Okay, okay. Aradia, goddess of the lost,

the path is murky.

The woods are dense.

Darkness pervades.

I beseech thee... Bring the light.

Whoa. Hey, I did it.

I did you. Hi.

Right, you're waiting for instructions.

Lead me to oz.

Wait. I should try to find the people

trapped upstairs first.

But even if I get them,

we still have to find a way out of the house.

Okay, here's what we should do.

Hey, what's going on?

Stop!

Stop it!

Gaah! Get off!

Oz! Hel...

Help me, oz!

Somebody, help!

Help!

Willow.

Basement.

I must be in the... Basement.

All alone.

Who said... That?

They all ran away from you.

They always will.

Open your heart to someone and...

But don't fret, little girl.

You're not alone.

Aah!

Anymore.

Well?

We're gonna have to create a door.

Create a door? You can do that?

I can.

No matter how hard you fight,

you just end up in the same place.

I don't see why you bother.

I'm upstairs.

The goat room.

Oz?

Get 'em off me. Get 'em off me. Get' em off.

Get off. Get 'em off.

Willow. Willow, Willow, what's wrong?

Couldn't get 'em off.

It's okay.

It's okay. It's okay.

We're okay.

We're not okay. We need to get out of here.

I'd offer my opinion, but you jerks aren't gonna hear it, anyway.

Not that didn't-go-to-college boy has anything important to say.

I might as well hang out with my new best friend, bleeding dummy head,

for all you dorks care. What is wrong with you?

You... You heard that?

You can see me?

Good.

Oh, god, good.

The house separated us.

It wanted to scare us.

But we got away.

No. We were brought here.

We all got so scared that we ended up... Here.

Why?

I saw them painting that.

They were copying out of...

That.

I... i think it's Gaelic.

Can you translate?

Release me!

Release me!

Wil, give me something.

Okay, um, the icon's called the mark of Gachnar.

I think this is a summoning spell for something called...

Gachnar?

Yes. Somehow, the beginning of the spell

must have been triggered.

Gachnar's trying to manifest itself, to come into being.

How?

It feeds on fear.

Our fears are manifesting. We're feeding it.

We need to stop.

If we close our eyes and say it's a dream,

it'll stab us to death. These things are real.

Okay, so our fears are feeding it.

If we get everyone out of here...

Good plan. Let's go.

Aah!

Giles?

Everyone, it's Giles

with a chain saw.

Xander.

Glad you could make it.

The walls closed up behind us.

Gachnar. Of course.

Its presence infects the reality of the house,

but it's not managed to achieve full manifestation.

We cannot allow this to come into being.

But if it does, I can fight it, right?

Buffy...

This is gachnar.

I don't wanna fight that.

So we break the spell.

Whatever we do, let's do it fast.

I have it, I have it.

Um, "the summoning spell for gachnar"

"can be shut down in one of 2 ways."

"Destroying the mark of gachnar..."

"Is not one of them

and will, in fact, immediately bring forth the fear demon itself."

Look.

This is gachnar?

Big overture...

Little show.

I am the dark lord of nightmares.

The bringer of terror.

Tremble before me.

Fear me.

He...

He's so cute.

Who's the little fear demon?

Come on, who's the little fear demon?

Don't taunt the fear demon.

Why? Can he hurt me?

No. It's just... Tacky.

Be that as it may,

Buffy, when it comes to slaying...

Size doesn't matter?

They're all going to abandon you, you know.

Yeah, yeah.

Some quality treats here, Giles.

Please, finish them.

This is much better.

There is no problem that cannot be solved by chocolate.

I think I'm gonna barf.

Except that.

What?

That's your scary costume?

Bunnies frighten me.

Oh, bloody hell. The inscription.

What's the matter?

I should've translated the Gaelic inscription

under the illustration of gachnar.

What's it say?

"Actual size."

Grr! Arrgh!