Original subtitles

Okay, let's do some business.

- Welcome to Washington, Harry. - Ed, I hate this town.

You know my sister's kid, JJ? JJ, say hello to Mr. Devery.

All right, all right. Don't give him a speech.

- Talk to me, did you set up the hotel? - Everything is in order.

And here's some stuff by that reporter I told you about.

Are you still gonna make me do that interview?

I want you to look over this new "Republic" article he wrote on the E.E.C.

He's not some do-gooder with an ax to grind on my neck, is he?

Well, you don't want a pushover Harry. I tell you, if Paul gives you the thumbs-up,

it's a big deal in this town.

You don't think he knows anything, do you?

Oh, God, no.

But that's why it's good for you to meet him up front.

Shows you have nothing to hide.

Ahem. Uh, uncle Harry.

Oh. Jesus Christ. Hey! Billie!

What?

When a door opens on a plane, you get out.

Move it!

They've arrived.

Welcome to the Willard, Mr. Brock.

- I hope you had a pleasant journey. - Ah, here he is.

Now, remember, treat him nicely. Don't try to con him. Just be yourself.

Paul! Good to see you again.

Hello, Ed. How are ya?

No more hardnose investigative stuff?

Well, your man doesn't have a problem with that, does he?

You're just interviewing businessmen now, hmm?

Well, you know what they say Ed. The business of America is business these days.

- Harry Brock, this is Paul Verrall. - The writer. I know.

I like that thing you did for the new Republic on the E.E.C. Smart.

Thank you.

This suite is newly remodeled. The marble is Italian,

and this wonderful glass comes from the south of France.

We're especially proud of these atrium, which give the suite a lovely open quality.

I hope Mrs. Brock is satisfied with the arrangements.

- She's not Mrs. Brock. - Oh, yes, that's fine.

You bet that's fine. There's only one Mrs. Brock and she's my mother.

- Of course. - And she's dead.

- Oh, I'm sorry. - Alright, just listen.

Anybody that works in this room, tell 'em to do it good, do it fast, nobody gets hurt.

I don't like a lot of people around all the time, and I don't like waitin' for nothing.

Of course, Mr. Brock.

How'd you like to save my life? With soda or plain water?

- Plain. - Comin' right up.

- Paul, would you like a drink? - No, I'm fine. Thanks.

- If there's anything I can do... - There is, you go into Billie's room...

And see she gets everything she wants.

Right away...

If she asks for somethin', I'm askin' for somethin'.

As in a single voice.

- What about those white flowers? - The gardenias? All taken care of.

- Did you get that other stuff she likes? - Diet cream soda,

the bean dip, the tweezers and the cucumber mask, all taken care of.

- All right. JJ! Handle him. - All right. Chauncy.

Over here.

Billie!

- What? - Well?

What?

- Not bad, huh? - Not bad.

Not bad. You know what this is costin' me a night?

- $6500. You already told me. - So?

So, I don't like new towns.

You have to learn all new channels. It took me...

Almost a minute to find my soap.

So what's this gonna be pal... a plug or a pan?

I like to know these things. And I know how to talk if I know your angle.

No angle. Just the facts. A pan.

Listen, I gotta do my stairs and stuff. You okay with that?

- Uh, sure. - Good.

JJ, get a barber up here for when I get back.

Grab my sweats. We're outta here.

I'm talkin' to you 'cause Ed told me to.

What the hell. I pay him a couple hundred grand a year for advice.

I'd be a fool not to take it.

- Excuse me. Mind if I... - Anyway.

- Thanks. - Go ahead. Give me your best shot.

How much money have you got?

What am I, an accountant?

- You don't know? - Not exactly.

- Fifty million. - Honest to God, I don't know.

- Ten million? - Maybe.

- One million. - More.

- How much more? - How much you got?

- I've saved a little. - You don't save money, bud.

You make it.

This is the worst time of day, after the soaps but before entertainment tonight.

Ah, I have some papers for you to sign.

What happened to all that stuff I signed yesterday?

Um, back page of each set by the x's.

Seems like I've signed about 10,000 of these.

Well, that's what you get for being a multiple corporate officer.

Oh, is that what I am?

No wonder I'm having so much fun.

Is it true you spent 400 million on your new complex?

Brock Village. Finest thing ever built.

2,000 condos. 175 shops.

And two... count 'em... Two golf courses.

My masterpiece. Did you have to take on a lot of debt?

Hey, you gotta spend it to make it, pal. Ooh.

Not too vigorous, honey. I get 'em done every day.

Just buff 'em up real nice.

Well, how's the interview going?

Oh, great. I found out he has parents.

But I still don't know why he came to Washington.

- Just a little tax business. - Just a little tax business.

I didn't believe him either.

Hey, so far I've been nice to you. What are you pumpin' me for?

Well, that's a reporter's work Mr. Brock. Who, what, when, where, how...

- And why. - Sounds like a law firm to me.

And you know how much I hate lawyers.

I can vouch for that.

Are you ever afraid that you're gonna lose all this?

Never. I want it all too much.

What about things that are beyond your control, like, uh, like fate?

You show me a businessman who believes in fate,

I'll show you the first businessman ever went broke.

I started with a wagon sellin' somebody's junk, and I got here...

In a silk suit talkin' to a college know-it-all like you.

If I lose it, I'll meet you right back here in this room...

In a new silk suit.

- But why would you lose it all, Mr. Brock? - Hey! Wait a minute.

Where you think you're goin' with that?

- My room. - Put it back.

- I just wanted... - I know what you wanted. Put it back.

Why can't I just take it...

Because we have a party to go to, that's why.

Well, I don't see why I can't...

Because I say you can't! That's why! Put it back!

Do what I'm tellin' you!

What'll you take to cut his throat, barber?

Harry, don't get so upset.

Don't tell me what to do.

You don't have to be so formal around me, Harry. Relax. Be yourself.

Excuse me, uncle Harry, you should get ready.

We gotta be at the Duffee's house at 7:00.

Is that Alex Duffee, the secretary of the Navy?

JJ, would you get my briefcase?

- Yeah, sure, Ed. - Sorry about the blowup.

Short fuse.

But I like talkin' to you. You make me laugh.

Finally a purpose in life.

- Hey, how about you workin' for me? - Oh, Harry, I don't...

Hey, did I ask you?

- Let the man answer. - Well, what would I do?

What do you care? We'll find somethin' for you.

I don't think so, Mr. Brock. Thanks for the offer.

- See you around, pal. - Mmhmm, sure.

Not a bad guy for an egghead.

Send him a gift, a pen or something.

- You pissed at me? - No.

You don't look right. Want an aspirin?

No, Harry, I'm fine.

Considering I've been dead for 12 years, I feel great.

With your abdominals contracted, buttocks tight,

you're going to be lifting the leg, starting with the contraction.

Here you go. And... Contract and lift it.

C.P., okay? C.L. Contract and lift.

Contract and lift. Now every lift begins with...

- Hey! - Now, tomorrow we meet the lobbyists.

Screw the lobbyists. I want congressmen. Billie!

What?

Hurry up. We're goin' down. Meet you in the car.

JJ'll wait.

You know, I can't just phone congressmen...

Hey, I leveraged everything I got, including my ass, to build Brock Village.

If that base closes, I'm lookin' at four million square feet of squat...

...and I'm signin' chapter 11 papers. - Harry, please relax.

That's the beauty of putting the companies in Billie's name.

They can't be taken to settle any debts. Technically, they're not your companies.

If I lose Brock Village, what's to say I can't lose everything else?

This is your fault.

You should have headed this off. I want names.

- Alright, tomorrow I've got lunch... - Tonight. Tonight!

Tonight you'll see senator Norville Hedges.

You remember him, he's head of appropriations.

He's behind on his fund-raising and his race is very tight.

- That's what I want to hear. - But, Harry... Harry.

Harry, he's not a construction foreman. The machinations required...

Hey, don't Harvard-talk me. I didn't make my money by bein' a idiot.

- Where the hell's Billie? - Calm yourself. I'm here.

- She look okay to you? - What's the matter with how I look?

That's what I want to know.

Well, what do you know? You open beer cans with your teeth.

- You look beautiful Billie. - Thank you, Ed.

Ed, are you sure? I don't want to start off on no left foot.

I'm sure, I'm sure.

Ah, now that's okay. Now, that's beautiful.

JJ, you stay here.

- Good evening, Alex. - Hi, Ed. How are you?

Very well. May I introduce my friend, Harry...

Harry Brock. Nice to meet ya.

- How are you? - And miss Billie Dawn.

Billie Dawn. What a beautiful name.

- This is my wife, Beatrice. - Hello. How are you?

Mmm. Charmed.

- How are you? - Hi, nice to meet you, a pleasure.

- Great to see you. - Hello, Bea.

This is senator Dorn and his wife, Lily.

Senator, Harry Brock. Pleasure to meet ya.

- It's a pleasure. - Nice to meet ya, how you doin'?

Fine.

- And over here is senator and Mrs. Hedges. - Senator, good to see you.

- Good to see you. - Hi, how are you?

- Billie, this is senator Hedges. - Yeah, that's what he said.

And, uh, what brings you to town?

A little sightseeing. You know, takin' it easy.

Oh, that'll be the day.

Feel a little dry. You care to join me for a drink?

- Sure. - Excuse us, ladies. Alex.

It's so screwed up over there, I can't do nothin'...

Hello, Mr. Brock.

- Good to see you again. - What a coincidence. Hey, Sherlock.

How's it goin'?

I'm off-duty tonight. My meter ain't runnin'.

Billie's here from Chicago.

Really? I got my doctorate from the University of Chicago.

I just interviewed your mayor. I have a radio show.

What are you planning to see while you're here?

I don't really know. I mean, since I've never been here before,

I don't know really what there is to see.

What kinds of things are you interested in?

Um, maybe something with the Kennedys.

You could go to the Kennedy Center. Take a tour, maybe go backstage.

No, you know, I'd like to see their house.

You know, like go on one of them tours, like Graceland?

You learn a lot about a person when you see their home, don't you think?

I mean, did you know that Elvis had over 40 tv's?

When I saw that, I knew that Elvis must have been a really lonely man.

I mean, they say it on the tour, you know, about the 40 tv's, like it was a big thing,

like you should be really jealous of Elvis, but it just made me really sad.

I mean, everybody in the whole world worshipped Elvis,

and it was like he couldn't be in a room alone, you know?

So, I think that's sad, don't you think?

Well, Kennedy lived in the white house.

Oh, yeah, well, see? That would be great if I could see where he lived.

Well, if you do decide to take a tour, my husband can help.

- He's the under secretary of commerce. - Is that like a receptionist?

Isn't a receptionist under a secretary?

Well, he certainly feels that way sometimes.

I think I need to freshen this up. Is everyone else all right?

- I could use another one. - What about you, Billie?

No, thank you.

- Something I said was wrong, wasn't it? - It's no big deal.

- You mind if I ask you something? - Sure.

Is there something wrong with my earrings or somethin'?

Because everybody keeps staring at 'em.

Oh, I don't know. Maybe they're a little big.

Well, I thought big was the whole idea with jewels.

Nah, you don't need to wear jewels. You're pretty enough.

Oh. Sweet talk.

It's my favorite.

- That's what the I .M.F. is for. - No, this is NATO's responsibility.

NATO's not a factor anymore.

The U .N . is the answer. Now, if there's trouble, and there's going to be trouble,

that I can guarantee you, the U .N . troops should jump in, keep peace,

so those markets can grow.

That's incredible. She's got boyfriends...

People should be controlled, not markets.

And what do you think, miss Dawn?

What is our responsibility to those people

now that the Eastern Bloc has collapsed?

I don't know. How many people were hurt?

What do you mean?

When the block collapsed, were people hurt or was it just property damage?

We're talking about the Eastern Bloc in Europe.

I don't think we should worry about them.

I mean, we got enough problems with our own streets...

Before we start fixing the ones in Europe.

- They're geeks. - What?

- I said they're geeks. - Who the hell are you to say?

- Billie Dawn, that's who. - Nobody asked you so shut up.

Pardon me if I'm takin' up too much space on your planet.

Oh, thank you very much.

- Hello, JJ. - Hey, Ed.

- Harry, could we go over a few things? - Take her upstairs.

Take me upstairs.

- So ya havin' fun? - No. Are you?

No. Seems like we've been gone a month already.

Tell me about it.

Billie is a liability. She doesn't know what people

are talking about. People don't talk to Billie to know things.

People love Billie because she makes them forget about all the crap in the world.

Every time she opens her mouth, she says something stupid.

Yeah, that's gonna make her stand out in Washington.

Harry, please.

- People were laughing at her. - Oh. They were?

- Yeah. - Well, they gotta know her like I do.

But there's no reason for her to be here.

How about she owns more of me than I do. Another one of your bright ideas.

It is a good idea. Luckily, she doesn't know anything about it.

Any papers she needs to sign I can send to her at home.

No. Hey, no! Okay? There's another reason.

I'm crazy about her, okay?

I'm crazy when she's not around.

I know what you mean about those people bein' geeks.

Sure know how to be stuffy, don't they?

Anyway, I know you weren't so hot to come on this trip, so...

- Thanks, Harry. - Yeah.

Hey, Harry? You know how when somebody dies,

it's okay to feel sad?

But then other times when you're supposed to be happy,

and you feel sad anyway?

Then it's worse than the times when you're allowed to be sad?

What the hell are you talkin' about?

Never mind.

Hey! I know where there's this club.

Let's go show these geeks how to dance.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

Now?

♪ Well, come out ♪ ♪ here on the floor ♪

♪ let's rock some more ♪

♪ come out here on the floor ♪

♪ honey, let's rock ♪ ♪ some mo', yeah ♪

♪ now when you get out here ♪ ♪ don't you have no fear ♪

♪ put your hands on your hip ♪ ♪ and let your backbone slip ♪

♪ and work out ♪

♪ ah, my mama, move up ♪

♪ honey, move back ♪

♪ sing it, sing it ♪ ♪ shuffle to the left ♪

♪ shuffle, shuffle, ♪ ♪ shuffle, shuffle. ♪

♪ Wobble to the right ♪

♪ now it's plain to see ♪ ♪ you put a hurtin' on me ♪

♪ but it's a natural fact I ♪ ♪ like it like that so work out ♪

♪ yeah, baby, work out ♪

♪ baby, work out ♪

♪ shout and turn the joint out ♪

♪ work out work out ♪

♪ work all night long ♪ ♪ yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

- Hello? - Billie Dawn, please?

- This is Billie. - Marvelous.

Cynthia Schreiber here. We met last night at Duffee's little sock hop?

And I do a show for N.P.R. You know N.P.R., yes?

Um, they're the gun people, right?

Well, uh, during fund-raising they are,

but usually they're just national public radio.

Anyway, I'd like you to be on my show.

Me on the radio? Are you kidding?

Of course not. I know this is last-minute,

but my little dream is that you'd come at around 11:00?

Well, uh, I mean, I don't know nothin' about Washington...

Or nothin'.

Um, I don't know if Harry would like that.

You could promote whatever he's doing here in D.C.

- I could tell about Brock Village? - Absolutely.

- Okay. - Great.

- Yeah? - Mr. Devery, it's JJ.

- Uh, yeah. - Harry, it's for you.

- Brock. - Hello, uncle Harry?

It's JJ . Get a radio. Billie's on.

- She's on 89.3. - Why? What'd she do?

She's bein' interviewed.

Holy Christ! Turn the radio on 89.3.

Now, you are here as the companion...

Of multimillionaire Harry Brock, is that right?

Yeah.

- How did you two meet? - In Las Vegas.

- I was in a show. - Uh-huh.

So, what, you dance and sing?

Yeah. I wasn't only in the chorus. I was a thespian. Oh.

- I had lines. Five, to be exact. - Mm-hmm.

Do you want to hear them?

- ABS... yes. Of course. - Okay, here goes.

Yes, I am. He was here, but he's not here now.

Oh, just a friend.

I never drink with men I don't know.

Beat it, buster!

I could've been a star if I would've stuck with it,

but Harry didn't like me bein' in shows.

He likes to go to bed early.

Does Mr. Brock do a lot of business in Las Vegas?

What business? He came to gamble and to meet girls.

I mean, he doesn't do that anymore.

Now he just works and works and works.

What is Mr. Brock doing in Washington? Is he a strong party man?

Is he!

He can throw down a drink faster than you can unzip your pants.

And boy, can he dance.

We won a limbo contest once.

- And we got a medal. - A medal. She remembered the medal.

- Do you want to see it? - Yes. Mm-hmm.

Okay.

- See? - Mm-hmm.

- And it looks like first prize. - Uh-huh.

It has been said that the love of wealth...

Is at the heart of all Americans.

- Do you think that's true? - I don't know.

- Who said it? - Tocqueville.

He wrote democracy in America,

possibly one of the most perceptive books ever written about our system.

Oh, it's a book? No wonder I never heard of it.

In the future, I think it would be best to limit Billie's exposure to the media,

given her limited understanding of, well, everything.

Couldn't we do somethin'? Smarten her up a little bit?

She didn't know how to play gin rummy 'til I taught her. Now she beats my brains out.

Isn't there some kind of school?

A long time would pass before school had an impact on Billie.

I think we should send her back.

All she needs is someone to pound some smarts into her, one on one.

Hey, I got an idea. The four most terrifying words in the English language.

Ed tells me you teach a class at Georgetown.

Yeah, that's right.

- How much you make? - What am I, an accountant?

I love this guy.

Well, listen, Paulie, the reason I ask... I got this friend.

- Maybe you've seen her. Billie? - Billie. Right.

She's a nice kid, but she's a little on the stupid side.

Not her fault, you understand. I found her in Vegas,

and for Vegas she's smart enough, but Washington...

I'm just scared she's gonna be unhappy. She's not used to these kind of people.

Uh, so I figure maybe you could help her... and me.

- You know what I mean? - No, I don't.

Show her the ropes, the lowdown. Explain to her what goes on and such.

It'd really mean a lot to me. And I'd give you 200 bucks a day.

Ahem. Well, I'm sorry, Harry, but that's not what I do.

350.

No, Harry, you see, money isn't the issue.

- I told you, Harry. - Shut up.

500.

- Okay, I'll do it. - You see?

As soon as he said money wasn't the issue, I knew I had him.

I love this guy.

You know, Billie, we're in the big time now. This ain't Chicago.

You're tellin' me.

I mean, you gotta be very careful of everything you do.

You understand my meaning?

Yeah.

Gin.

Twenty-eight.

- Twenty-eight? - Twenty-eight!

♪ This old man he played two ♪

♪ he played knickknack on my shoe ♪

♪ with a knickknack paddywack, ♪ ♪ give a dog a bone ♪

♪ this old man came rolling home ♪

♪ wa-wa-wa wa-wa-wa ♪ ♪ wa-wa-wa-wa wa-wa-wa ♪

♪ wa-wa wa-wa wa-wa-wa ♪ ♪ wa-wa-wa-wa-wa ♪

♪ w a-w a-w aw aw a-w a-w a ♪

- Do you mind? - No.

Gin.

See?

Thirty-four.

Thirty-four? Thirty-four! Three four!

So, anyway...

I met a guy. He's got a lot of time on his hands.

And I was thinking, since he knows the city pretty good,

it might be nice for you to have someone to do things with.

- What's going on? - Nothin'!

It's just...

He's a smart guy.

And, well, it wouldn't hurt you to learn some things.

Since when have you been interested in my brain?

Since you started exposing it to the public on the radio.

What did I do? I was tryin' to help you.

Honey, it's not your fault.

People don't know you like I do. You just...

You know, you could use a little education yourself,

if you ask me.

- Who asked ya? - Nobody.

So shut up.

Hold on a second. That will be $225. 10.

I gotta get the door. You always make me pay.

Aww.

10 cents.

Sore loser.

I'll get it! Now, you be nice to him.

Are you kidding me? That's him at the door?

I don't want some stuffy old tutor.

- You be nice to him, or I'll crack you one! - It's a free country.

That's what you think.

Hey!

Billie.

This is Paul Verrall.

Very pleased to have you here.

Look, I got some business to take care of,

so why don't you two go someplace nice and talk?

- You wouldn't mind, would ya? - No way. I would love to.

- Thanks. - Thanks.

So, um, what are you, some kind of gigolo?

No, I just...

- Well, Harry wants me to... - He wants you to smarten me up?

No, I'm sure you're...

- I think he just wants me to, um... - Smarten me up.

Yeah.

So, what's he payin' you?

500 bucks a day.

Sucker. Coulda gotten twice that.

He's got a lot of it, you know.

I'd have done it for nothing.

You know, even if I am stupid, it hasn't hurt me none.

- What do you mean? - Well, I got everything that I want.

Got lots of jewels. Big, like I like. Mink coat.

A TV that fits in my purse.

I want something. I ask for it.

If he don't give me what I want,

I don't give him what he wants,

if you get my drift.

And you're happy with this setup?

Well, so long as I know how to get what I want, that's all I wanna know.

Makes sense.

As long as you know what it is you want.

Exactly. What?

Well, I mean, if you don't know a lot,

how do you know that a mink coat is the best thing to have?

Because I used to have a rabbit coat.

♪ Did you say ♪ ♪ I have a lot to learn ♪

I love this song. Let's dance.

Oh, I don't, uh... I can't dance.

I can. Harry and me won a medal once.

Well, uh, this isn't a dancing place.

It is if you're dancing. Come on.

Um...

♪ We'll start with ♪ ♪ the ABC of it ♪

♪ then we'll roll down ♪ ♪ to the XYZ of it ♪

Relax.

♪ Help me solve ♪ ♪ the mystery of it ♪

♪ come on and teach me tonight ♪ - Okay, so we should make a list...

Of things that you'd like to do and, uh...

♪ Well, the sky's a blackboard and, um... ♪

♪ I don't mean jungle ♪ ♪ high above you ♪

♪ And if a shooting star goes by ♪

♪ I'll use that star to write I love you ♪

♪ a thousand times across the sky ♪

♪ one thing isn't very clear, my love ♪

♪ should the teacher ♪ ♪ stand so near, my love ♪

♪ graduation's almost here my love ♪

♪ go on, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ teach me tonight ♪

- Maybe I could teach you some things. ♪ Well, the sky's a blackboard ♪

♪ high above you ♪

♪ and if an astronaut zooms by ♪

♪ I'll reach and ♪ ♪ grab it real fast ♪

♪ and write I love you ♪

Well, okay, um...

Good night, miss Dawn, and, um...

Thanks. That was fun.

Aren't you gonna escort me to my room?

Uh, oh, um...

- Yeah, um, sure. Yeah, of course. - You can call me Billie.

- Billie. - Yeah.

You know, it's funny. You don't look like a Billie.

No?

- Uh-uh. - Do I look like an Emma?

- Emma? - Yeah. That's my real name.

I took Billie for Vegas.

No. You don't look li...

Uh, I mean, you don't look like an Emma either.

What do I look like?

- To me? - Yeah. To you.

Like an angel.

Sweet talk again.

Well.

- Okay. Good night, Billie... - Paul.

Are you a talker, or would you be interested in a little action?

- Excuse me? - Well, I got the hots for you right off.

Uh... uh... well, do you get many?

Now and then.

- What do you do about them? - Stick around and you'll find out.

- What about, um... - Aw, don't worry about him.

He's too busy bein' a big man.

This isn't what I expected.

Well, we're just teaching each other what we know.

Yes, well, about that...

Just read these papers and circle anything you don't understand...

- And I'll, uh... - Yeah, well, I don't know about that.

My eyes are kind of weak.

Really? Well, maybe you oughta try some glasses.

And look like a geek?

Oh.

I'm sorry.

Tha... tha... that's okay.

Course, they're not so bad on men.

No?

Hey! How are you two guys makin' out?

Oh, fine.

- Paul just, um, taught me a little French. - Is that right, pal?

What's the matter?

- Was she rude to you? - Oh, no.

- Cause she's got a mouth on her. - Yes, I know that.

Well, I'm gonna say good night.

Good night.

Hey, wait a minute, buddy!

What's the matter with you?

Where's your manners? Say thank you to the guy.

Oh. Yeah.

Aurevoir.

- Good night, Billie. - Night.

You know, that guy could do you a lot of good.

Mmm. I agree.

Whew.

- Hi. - Hi.

How'd you know it was me?

- Lucky guess. - Hi.

Are you having lunch this afternoon? Just a cappuccino, thanks.

Oh, this is ridiculous.

It looks like the paper has the chicken pox.

It would've been easier if you'd told me to circle the things that I knew.

I'm never gonna be able to talk to anybody in this town.

Well, I brought something along that may help you.

What, somebody who's really smart and looks just like me?

Look, you wanna be able to talk to people in this town?

Well, in Washington, everybody says exactly the same things

at every party.

You just have to know the right responses.

If you learn these eight sentences, you'll be a hit at every party.

- You're kidding me. - Nope.

Those eight sentences cover just about everything

anybody talks about in this town.

It's the great Washington art...

Of soundin' like you know what you're talkin' about when you don't know zip.

- Go ahead, read the first one. - Okay.

"Here's what I'd like to know:

Who elected the Washington post president?

- That one applies about 80% of the time. - Okay.

Number two: "We can't be the policemen of the world,

"but until we get another cop on the block,

we have to support our friends."

That one comes up a lot. Number three:

"Being a superpower has a price."

Now, you can use that one with number two and number four. Read number four.

Number four: "It's still a dangerous world."

Wait a minute, I'm just gonna say these things, and I'm gonna be a hit?

Thank you. Well, uh, yeah, but you have to say 'em at the right time.

Uh, read number five.

Number five: "That's about as likely as a democrat being elected president."

You see? That one shows you have a sense of humor.

That was funny?

Number six.

Number six: "It makes you wonder if a parli...

"Parli... parliamentary.

Parliamentary system isn't better."

Yeah, the whole thing makes me wonder.

- Number seven. - Number seven:

"I don't think Abe Lincoln himself would know what to do about that."

Now, you say that one when you don't know what to say.

Good. Then I'll just say that one.

Okay.

Now, number eight is when you're trapped and you wanna shut someone up.

"If only the U.N. would take out...

"The Vernor Amendment to resolution 165,

we'd have the power to do what needs to be done."

I don't understand one word of that.

No one will. There is no Vernor Amendment.

But the only time anyone in Washington admits they don't know something...

Is when they're being indicted.

But how am I gonna know when to say which one?

Well, we'll... we'll work out a code, okay?

Try not to talk to anyone.

This guy's only been workin' on you for a day.

She can talk to anybody, Harry, and make you proud.

Great! This is workin' backwards. Instead of makin' her smart,

she's makin' you stupid.

Good evening.

Middle east is a money drain.

No matter how much we send over there, it'll always be the same.

We oughta spend that money over here at home.

So just ignore the region altogether?

Tell me, miss Dawn, what do you think?

Is there a chance for peace in the Mideast?

Um, I think the chances are about as good...

...as getting a democrat back in the White House?

Well, after all the problems the president's had recently,

he doesn't have much clout to do anything anyway.

It makes you wonder if a parliamentary system isn't better.

But I think we should keep a strong presence over there.

- Don't you? - Well, here's what I have to say.

Who elected the "Washington Post" king of the Universe?

That's what I'd like to know.

Ahem. Ahem. Excuse me.

- I'm sorry. What did you say? - I say,

do you think we should keep an active presence over there?

Oh, forgive me. How silly. I thought you said... oh.

Well, anyway... okay. Active presence. Yeah.

Well, um... Call me old-fashioned.

I know we can't be the policemen of the world,

but until we get another cop on the beat,

we have an obligation to support our friends.

After all, being a superpower has its price.

- She's right. - Mm-hmm.

It's still a dangerous world.

Yes, but what about the Palestinians?

Yes, what about the Palestinians?

Yeah, what about the Palestinians?

I don't think even Abe Lincoln himself could solve that one.

But let's say you're president.

Yeah, let's say you was president.

What would you do?

It's simple. If the U.N. would remove the Vernor Amendment from resolution 165,

we'd have the authority to do what needs to be done.

Hmm.

Can I get anyone anything?

I'd love a drink.

Excuse us.

- Isn't she terrific? - Hell, I'm knocked out.

- She's right about the Vernor Amendment. - Oh, absolutely!

Is it the economy of the state that worries you, Harry, or your own?

Both. If I go under, I take a lot of people with me.

Harry, I'm gettin' tired.

I got business.

Hey, do me a favor, will ya, pal? Take her home?

With pleasure.

Hey. You did a hell of a job.

No kiddin', pal. A hell of a job.

Thing is, senator, we cannot do a thing about that issue...

Until the U.N. removes the Vernor Amendment to...

- Yeah, uh... 165. - Without question, that was it.

You were great. Everybody loved you.

What's the matter? Don't you think you were great?

Oh, yeah. We really tricked 'em, didn't we?

What do you mean?

Well, if you saw a good ventriloquist,

who would you compliment, the dummy?

- You're not a dummy. - Harry's right.

Well, you're the one who did it.

I still don't know anything,

only now nobody can tell.

But Paul, there was one time right in the middle,

when I was saying something...

And everybody was lookin' at me like I knew what I was talkin' about.

And I liked it so much.

Didja teach me to cheat 'cause you think I can't learn?

Oh, God, Billie, no, I...

I just didn't think you were so serious about it.

I'm kinda surprised myself.

But I been thinkin' a lot lately about something my dad used to say.

"Without knowledge, you're less than everybody."

And I don't wanna be less.

I mean, I don't wanna be better than anybody neither,

and I don't wanna go above myself.

I just want...

I want to not be less.

Well, I'm afraid it's too late for that.

Cause you're already more than most people.

Well, here we are. See you tomorrow?

So, how are we gonna smarten me up?

Well, we aren't gonna do it.

You're gonna do it.

It's your battle.

It's up to you.

Good night.

Good night.

What are you readin'?

Democracy in America by, um...

Pocahontas.

Yeah, she's good.

What's "anachronistic"?

Dictionary.

It's a dictionary?

No. Look it up in the dictionary.

Geez, that's a book?

It's bigger than my first apartment.

Billie. Billie, what are you doing?

I don't like this. I don't like this at all.

I mean, every word in there I don't understand.

I had to go to the dictionary so many times,

people must have thought I was foreign or something.

I mean, this whole thing is making me feel dumber, not smarter.

I been readin' this book for a week and I'm on page 13?

- Well, that's not so bad. - Yeah, not if the book's 14 pages, it's not.

Billie, it's not supposed to go fast.

- It's supposed to make you think. - Yeah, it makes you think, all right.

It makes you think how great it would be to sit around and watch TV.

I don't wanna do this anymore, Paul.

- I quit. I mean it! I quit! - Billie, Billie. Wait a minute.

Being smart isn't just about books.

It's about asking questions.

It's about finding out why things are the way they are.

Don't stop reading.

But you picked kind of a big book to begin with.

How about starting with something a little smaller?

Like what, a fortune cookie?

Uh... mmm.

- This just came for you. - Oh, thanks.

"Billie Dawn... One who can do anything."

♪ Didja say I've ♪ ♪ got a lot to learn ♪

♪ but don't think I'm ♪ ♪ tryin' not to learn ♪

♪ since this is a ♪ ♪ perfect spot to learn ♪

♪ come on teach me tonight ♪

♪ starting with the ♪ ♪ ABC of it ABC ♪

♪ right down to the ♪ ♪ XYZ of it XYZ ♪

- Aaah!

♪ Help me solve the ♪ ♪ mystery of it, whoa-oh-oh ♪

♪ I wanna be taught tonight ♪ ♪ boop boop boo-oop ♪

♪ because the sky's a blackboard ♪

♪ high above me ♪

♪ if a shooting star goes by ♪

♪ I'll use that star ♪ ♪ to write I love you ♪

♪ a thousand times ♪ ♪ across the sky ♪

- To me a saw is a saw. ♪ What isn't very clear my love ♪

- Hi. - Hey.

♪ Should that teacher stand ♪ ♪ so near, my love, yeah ♪

♪ graduation's ♪ ♪ almost here my love ♪

- Still tryin' to read this book? - Mm-hmm.

- What? ♪ Come on, fellas ♪

♪ say it tonight ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah yeah-yeah-yeah ♪

♪ come on teach me tonight ♪

♪ Yeah, come on, baby ♪ ♪ yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ come on teach me tonight ♪

♪ yes, I will ♪

♪ my baby, baby, baby yeah ♪

♪ come on teach ♪ ♪ me tonight, yeah ♪

♪ I want you to teach me, hey ♪

♪ teach me, hey now ♪

♪ teach me ♪ ♪ teach me ♪

♪ teach me teach me, baby ♪

♪ Yeah-yeah, yeah ♪

Hello, JJ.

Um, Billie called me. Is she here?

Yeah, she is.

- You wanna let her know I'm here? - Uh... yeah.

I don't see what the problem is.

Our problem is simple issues.

There are competing economic considerations. We've got to wait...

Look, boys, don't jerk me around.

If you're gonna help me out,

I need to know, and I need to know now.

Harry's blunt about it, but a lot is riding on this.

He is the principal employer of the whole area.

Oh, sorry, I was looking for Billie. She's not he...

Senator Hedges, Hi. Paul Verrall.

I interviewed you a couple of years ago.

- Of course. I loved what you did. - Thanks.

Oh, here she is. I think you two would be more comfortable...

Billie, would you make this poor man a drink? It's sweltering.

It's nice to see you again, Paul.

Nice to see you, gentlemen. Good to see you again.

Harry. Hey, kid.

- What did he mean, he interviewed you? - He's a reporter.

No, he's doing a puff piece on Harry.

Not anymore, now that he's seen him alone in the room with all of us.

- Thanks for coming so quick. - Uh... uh, quickly.

- Quickly. - Uh, Billie...

- Harry's got six senators in there. - So? He's had 'em before.

Well, senators don't usually make house calls.

Well, Harry gets people to do things they don't usually do.

You wanna know the trick that I came up with...

To remember the amendments to the constitution?

- Billie. - What?

You've worked really hard to make yourself smart.

But?

Well, a smart person knows who she's living with.

Well, gentlemen, I really don't want you to worry about this too much.

Ah, that's beautiful.

Okay. I think you'll really enjoy David Copperfield.

- Yeah? - Anything by dickens is fun to...

What is this crap?

It's haydn, op. 111.

- It's a classical piece, Harry. - Classic piece of shit, if you ask me.

I like it. It's good before bed.

So now, the fifth amendment to the constitution says...

That you can't testify against yourself.

How would that even work? It seems physically impossible.

Teachin' her about the fifth?

Well, uh, the constitution. We saw it the other day, and I thought...

It's not your job to think. Your job is to get her to think.

- Harry. - It's okay, Billie.

First of all, she knows how to think, and second...

I need her so she can talk at parties, not pass some ancient history test.

You think the constitution is ancient history?

- Hey, work on her, not me. - No extra charge.

I don't need nothin' you could tell me.

There's a lot you don't know he could tell you.

- I'll bet. - Who's Tom Paine, for instance?

What do I care who Tom Paine is?

If he's not buyin' from me, why should I care?

You're so smart, who's Dave Righetti?

Left-handed pitcher for the Giants.

Pitched a no-hitter for the Yank's in '83.

So, what are you, some kind of genius?

- No. - I fire geniuses every day.

Clearly.

You know, the more I see you, the less I like you.

Is that the way you talk to your senator friends too, Harry?

I'm gonna tell you this once:

Don't push your luck, stay out of my business,

keep your eye on what I pay you to keep it on,

or I'll tear it out of your head.

I gotta go, Billie.

Just remember, four eyes...

Anytime I want I can knock your block off.

- See you later, Billie. - Bye.

- Ed said not to forget these. - That guy's startin' to bug me.

Here, doll. Sign these papers.

What exactly are you doing in Washington, Harry?

Well, I'm telling you to sign those papers, and you're going to sign them.

I don't wanna do anything that's against the law. That's for sure.

I am the law.

It seems to me, by signing these,

- it makes me some kind of a partner. - A silent partner.

- So? - So shut up!

You know what your problem is, Harry?

You're not just rude, you're...

Flagrant about it.

- You've been reading de Tocqueville. - Well, yeah.

You know, after we talked on your show,

I figured that it was pretty bad that I hadn't read such an important book,

so I read it.

What was your favorite part?

Well, I'm not sure it's the kind of a book...

- Where you can have a favorite part. - Yes, you can. I did.

I liked when he said, "what is not yet done...

Is only what we have not yet attempted to do."

That made me feel good.

So, what part did you like?

- May I be honest? - Yeah.

I haven't read it.

But you said it was the one book on Democracy worth reading.

Well, that's what everybody says.

In fact, that's all anybody knows about de Tocqueville,

except you.

Well, it's not so bad once you stop falling asleep.

- Hi. - Hi.

- I couldn't wait to see how it went. - So, she's stupid.

Well, all I mean is that I didn't feel stupid myself.

Get this. She hadn't never read the book.

- You're kidding. - No.

People are always pretending to be smarter than they are.

I don't.

Yeah, I know, Billie. You're an honest woman.

Wait a minute, when I just said she hadn't never read the book,

that wasn't right, was it?

- Well, it was a double negative, but... - Well, come on.

You told me you'd tell me when I made a mistake.

I mean, a person who reads de Tocqueville

should know not to do no double negatives.

Yes, ma'am.

Smells good in here, doesn't it?

Mmm.

If I'd known art smelled this good, I would've come a long time ago.

Wow.

God, it's so small, but it's like it's bigger than the whole room.

Van Gogh painted this near the end of his life.

What a shame that he was never recognized while he was still living,

don't you think?

My mother died when I was little...

And my dad raised me and my brothers.

And he loved us so much, but...

I never knew a world like that.

Why didn't you ever kiss me again?

- Well, it's complicated. - What's complicated?

I mean, either you kiss me or you don't, and you didn't.

Billie, I'm workin' for Harry,

and I'm writin' a story about him, and you're living with him.

Then why'd you kiss me the first time?

I made a mistake.

Gee, sorry.

Billie. Billie, it's not about you.

It's about ethics.

If I get involved with you, I'm no different than Harry.

I don't wanna use you like Harry uses senators to get what he wants.

You're crazy about me, aren't you?

Yes.

That's why you get so mad at Harry.

I don't hate Harry.

I hate his kind of life,

what he does, what he stands for.

Harry doesn't know any better.

He's never thought about anybody else in the world but himself.

- Well, who does? - Oh, God, Billie, millions of people do.

The whole damn history of the world...

Is the story of the fight between the selfish and the unselfish.

Where do I fit in?

I...I honestly don't know.

You still think I'm the kind of person that goes with Harry?

You're still with him, aren't you?

Billie, come on now. Be fair.

You're the one that told me all you wanted out of life...

Was a mink coat and a TV that fit in your purse.

But that's why I did all this learning: To change.

And it didn't make a difference.

- You don't think you're different? - I do, sure,

but you don't.

You still see me the same as I was.

In that way you're no different from Harry.

How can you say that?

Cause he still thinks I'm a bimbo from Vegas, and so do you.

No, I don't...

You know, I've never gone through anything like this for anybody.

I mean, last night I started thinking, and I couldn't fall asleep for 10 minutes.

Billie, wait.

How come I feel like I don't fit in anymore?

Tell me why I'm so unhappy with everything that I used to want.

Let me tell you something, Paul.

I don't know about all this book stuff and ethics and everything,

but I do know it only takes you so far,

and after that, you have to go on what you feel,

not on what you know.

But I know one thing.

There's a time between a guy and a girl...

When it either comes off or it doesn't.

And if it doesn't then, it never does.

Uh, maybe we haven't gotten to our time yet.

No. We did. You just dropped the ball.

For all our gripin' about whatever, we're a lucky group.

We got food, a roof, good friends around us.

I was watchin' the tube the other day, and I saw this story

about how many homeless we got that are veterans.

I think they oughta tack this on the constitution:

If you risk your life for your country, you oughta have a home.

Well, the sixth amendment to the constitution says

you can't be deprived of property without compensation.

It's too bad they didn't offer that protection to veterans.

That's in the fifth amendment.

- Uh, no, no, no. - I think it's the sixth.

Don't pay any attention to her. She doesn't know what she's talking about.

Actually you're both wrong. Property compensation is the seventh.

- It's the fifth. - Billie,

everybody knows the fifth amendment

is the one where you don't have to incriminate yourself.

Actually, both the senators are wrong.

Billie's right.

Ha! Thanks.

There are a bunch of clauses in the fifth

and one of them is property compensation.

- The sixthis right to a speedy trial. - You put us to shame.

How do you keep 'em straight? Are you a constitutional lawyer?

No.

Um, I'm a student, I guess.

I have a hard time keeping 'em straight myself,

so I have to make up little tricks. Like a, uh...

Mnemonic device?

I didn't buy anything for it, if that's what you mean.

- Anyway, like I was sayin'... - What's your trick?

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

You'd probably think I'm nuts, but I use "The Twelve Days of Christmas."

Well, why don't you teach it to us?

- Really? - Sure. Yeah.

- Oh, this'll be fun. - Billie,

okay, stop it. That's enough. We got business to do here.

We were under the impression that this was a social occasion.

Please.

Thanks. Does anybody have a pen?

- Mm-hmm, sure. - Thank you.

And now, the senate family singers...

With "The 12 Interesting Amendments."

Op. Number 1. hit it.

♪ The first amendment to ♪ ♪ the constitution says ♪

♪ Freedom of ♪ ♪ religion speech and press ♪

♪ the second part of the ♪ ♪ first amendment says ♪

♪ Peaceful assembly ♪

♪ And just say ♪ ♪ any crazy thing you like ♪

♪ the second amendment to ♪ ♪ the constitution says ♪

♪ right to bear arms. ♪

♪ Peaceful assembly ♪

♪ and just say any ♪ ♪ crazy thing you like ♪

♪ good. The fourth amendment ♪ ♪ to the constitution says ♪

♪ no search and seizure ♪

♪ here is my gun. Freeze. ♪

♪ Assemble and be nice ♪

♪ and just say any ♪ ♪ crazy thing you like ♪

♪ The fifth amendment ♪ ♪ to the constitution says ♪

♪ Don't rat on yourself. ♪

♪ Where's your warrant please ♪ ♪ here is my gun. Freeze. ♪

♪ Assemble and be nice ♪

♪ and just say any ♪ ♪ crazy thing you like ♪

♪ very good. The sixth amendment ♪ ♪ to the constitution says ♪

♪ right to a quick trial ♪

♪ don't rat on yourself. ♪

♪ Where's your warrant please ♪

♪ here is my gun. Freeze. ♪ ♪ Assemble and be nice ♪

♪ and just say any ♪ ♪ crazy thing you like ♪

♪ the thirteenth amendment ♪ ♪ to the constitution says ♪

♪ slavery is invalid ♪ ♪ right to a quick trial ♪

♪ Don't rat on yourself ♪

♪ where's your warrant please ♪ ♪ here is my gun, freeze ♪

♪ assemble and be nice ♪ ♪ and just say any crazy thing you like ♪

♪ good. The fifteenth amendment ♪ ♪ to the constitution says ♪

♪ all races get the ballot ♪ ♪ slavery is invalid ♪

♪ right to a quick trial ♪ ♪ don't rat on yourself ♪

♪ where's your warrant please ♪ ♪ here is my gun, freeze ♪

♪ assemble and be nice and just ♪ ♪ say any crazy thing you like ♪

♪ The sixteenth amendment ♪ ♪ to the constitution says ♪

♪ congress can take taxes ♪ ♪ all races get the ballot ♪

♪ slavery is invalid ♪ ♪ right to a quick trial ♪

♪ don't rat on yourself ♪

♪ where's your warrant please ♪ ♪ here is my gun, freeze ♪

♪ assemble and be nice and just ♪ ♪ say any crazy thing you like ♪

♪ yes! The eighteenth amendment ♪ ♪ to the constitution says ♪

♪ alcohol will kill you ♪ ♪ uncle Sam will bill you ♪

♪ all races get the ballot ♪ ♪ slavery is invalid ♪

♪ right to a quick trial ♪ ♪ don't rat on yourself ♪

♪ where's your warrant please ♪ ♪ here is my gun, freeze ♪

♪ assemble and be nice and just ♪ ♪ say any crazy thing you like ♪

♪ the nineteenth amendment ♪ ♪ to the constitution says ♪

♪ women vote like men do ♪

♪ alcohol will kill you ♪ ♪ uncle Sam will bill you ♪

♪ all races get the ballot ♪ ♪ slavery is invalid ♪

♪ right to a quick trial ♪ ♪ don't rat yourself out ♪

♪ where's your warrant please ♪ ♪ here's my gun, freeze ♪

♪ assemble and be nice ♪

♪ and just say ♪ ♪ any crazy thing you like ♪

You're the guy that isn't comin' across!

I want that base opened!

I am not an employee of yours, Harry!

No? Why do you think I bought 40,000 copies of your book?

Cause I kept misplacing it?

I am not some lackey in one of your malls!

I will decide if I help you, and how much I help you.

You're making a terrible mistake treating me this way.

You are not a charity. You are not a cost. You are an investment.

If you don't wanna wind up as a secretary to the YMCA,

- You do what I tell you! - Harry.

Harry, for God's sake, let me get him back here. Let's clear this.

I think he was clear enough.

Go on!

- Billie. - Hi.

You know, I don't think that Harry should talk to you like that.

You're a senator.

Well, the operation of government is complex.

Yeah, but I don't think anybody should talk to a senator like that.

- A senator is a wonderful thing. - Thank you.

You know, it seems to me that if Harry pushes you around,

he's pushing around a few million people who voted for you.

- Well, not quite that many. - How many then?

863,434.

That's a lot of people to push around.

Why do you let him? I mean, who voted for him?

Well, at least he believes in what he's doing.

Maybe that's why he's such a hard man to say no to.

It's getting easier.

- Let me know your secret. Good-bye. - Bye.

Hello, Billie.

- What is this? - Same old stuff.

Well, I like having things explained. I found that out.

Well, let me explain this. Don't start up with him. They're legit.

Why can't I read 'em then?

There must be something wrong with them.

They're all right! I... I'm sorry.

It's okay. I understand.

You don't wanna be doin' his dirty work.

You know you're better than him.

That's enough, Billie, please.

I'm not so sure. Maybe you're worse.

"Pursuant."

Good word.

What's the matter?

Ed.

- What'd he do to you? - It's what he's done to himself.

Did you know he used to be Attorney General of a whole state?

Did you know that he wrote a book?

It was called "The Roots of Freedom."

It was great. I read it. It was beautiful.

Don't tie up your new brain with Ed.

You know, you're not as big as I used to think either.

All through history there's been bigger men, and better.

Name somebody bigger.

My father.

- Minimum wage. - So what?

At least he spent time with me.

- I work every day, even Sundays. - Yeah, but for what, Harry?

- For who... for whom? - For money! What do you think?

So you might as well go rob a bank. That's work.

I have never in my whole life...

...robbed a bank! Well, you're still not big. You know why?

Why?

Because you don't care about anything big.

Listen, cutie, don't get nervous just 'cause you read a book.

You're still as dumb as you ever were,

but I don't mind 'cause you're still the hottest little p...

Come 'ere.

I never seen you like this. What's the matter with you?

My life is what's the matter with me.

Maybe I am dumb, but I know there's a better life than this.

I wanna be like those Van Gogh people,

where people care about each other.

Harry!

You know, you got money, Harry, but you got a cheap life.

I don't own nothin' cheap except you.

Yeah, there's a little law about that. Nobody can own anybody.

Yeah, well, what I say is law,

so shut up.

Sign the papers.

- Business is all you care about. - Business?

Business bought you that little outfit you're in...

And just about everything else you own, so cut the crap! Sign the papers!

All right.

What're you waitin' for?

- I wanna read 'em first. - Just do it.

Listen, you big ox, if I'm puttin' my name on somethin', I wanna know what it says.

That's it. I've had it.

You're gonna sign them papers, and then I'm sendin' you back to Chicago.

No.

- Sign the papers! - I wanna read 'em first!

No! Harry!

No!

No, Harry!

Did ya do it?

Yeah.

Get out.

Hey. Hey, hey, hey!

It suites you right, you big anarchist.

Don't you ever lay a hand on me again.

If things aren't workin' out between us, then they're not workin' out,

but don't make me hate you.

Do me a favor, Harry.

- What? - Drop dead.

I think that he's done something illegal,

and now that I've signed these papers maybe I have too.

- Have you read them? - No. him and Ed wouldn't let me.

- He and Ed. Nominative case. - Oh, yeah.

See how upset I am?

- I'll just check and see. - Yeah. I'll wait here.

Is Mr. Brock upstairs? Do you know?

- No. He went out a while ago. - Thanks.

Do you know where he keeps the papers you signed?

Yeah. I'll show you,

but we have to hurry 'cause who knows when he's gonna come back.

Right in here. He keeps everything in this thing.

- In this one? - Yeah.

Oh, Paul... is it in a brown folder, you say?

Hurry! We'll just take everything.

- Is this it? - Yes.

Oh! Oh, no!

Hurry! Um, um...

Whoa! Oh!

Shh!

Oh, no. It's him!

Thank you.

This one.

- Here? - Mm-hmm.

He's put all of his companies in your name.

They're all called "Billie"?

No. I... I mean, you own them.

These papers don't give him control over you.

It gives you control over him.

You're Harry's boss.

- I am? - Yeah.

- Uh-oh. - What?

Of course.

- What? - These are photostat copies...

Of checks that Harry's written to the senators.

He's been bribing the senators to keep that base open.

What does he care if the base closes?

- Oh! All his customers. - Exactly.

Oh. Poor Harry.

Yeah, poor bribe-givin', law-breakin' Harry.

Alright, I'm gonna take this stuff to the paper.

By George, I knew it. Now all I gotta do is write it.

Um, just a minute.

I can't let you do that.

Just another necklace, or are you gonna try something else?

May I help you, sir? Give me the biggest wedding ring you got.

- What? - That's right. I'm marrying her.

- You're kidding. - She's been jumpy, you know?

I mean, it's been eight years. What do you think she's worrying about?

Anyway, I was rough on her.

She needs to know I want her around no matter what.

I'll take this stuff to the paper.

You pack and I'll come back for you, okay?

Paul, I don't think that I'll see you again.

Well, um... wait a minute, wait a minute.

Why? Because of this?

No. I just wonder sometimes...

If it's good to find out so much so quick.

- Uh, uh... quickly. - So quickly.

I think I'll just go away for a while.

Where? I don't know. I thought maybe I'd go see my dad.

Well, I got a better idea. Let's get married.

Are you crazy?

I have been,

but I love you.

I can't think about this now.

Well, who says you gotta think about everything all the time?

Billie!

Billie!

There.

Billie? Marry me?

Gimme those papers.

- I can't. - Billie!

- Go quick. He'll kill you. - Billie.

Oh, hello. I didn't hear you.

- Where've you been? - What's the matter? Did you miss me?

I had an idea.

You know me. I hate waitin' when I got an idea.

Hey, I don't blame you for bein' mad.

I was thinkin' about why you're so on edge...

And then I realized that, uh,

you don't know what you mean to me.

I can feel how much I mean to you Harry.

Hey, I've done a lot of good things too.

Don't forget about those just 'cause of one mistake. Here.

Maybe this'll help.

- Boy, when it rains, it pours. - Yeah.

Just name the date.

I'm thinkin' of the 13th.

- What month? - It's not a day.

It's the thirteenth amendment: No more slavery.

- What's that supposed to mean? - I can't marry you, Harry.

You're too dumb.

You think dumb people make this much money?

I think only a dumb person would think money makes 'em smart.

I got a different kind of life in mind.

This somethin' your little teacher taught you?

He's what needs to be different around here.

- I don't want you seein' him no more. - I won't.

- That's more like it. - It's not because of you.

Look, you're upset about the hit. I know.

I'm sorry.

Let me tell you about that hit Harry.

Everything that I've been readin' about and learning and that Paul's been tellin' me,

it mixed me up.

But when you hit me, it was like everything just fell together and made sense.

And I see how some people are always givin' it and some are always takin' it,

and I'm switchin' categories. I'm not takin' it anymore.

Okay, fine. Look, I got an idea.

Why don't we go to my room, and I'll calm you down?

Hey, you marry me or you'll be sorry!

I'm already sorry! That's why I'm leaving.

Billie, I'm offering to make you a real partner,

a partner in here.

I want you to be my wife.

Men are unbelievable.

I mean, I give and give and give, and it's like wallpaper to you.

You just walk right past it.

And then you make one effort, and you think that we're equal.

I mean, it only looks like a big effort because you never made one before.

No. No. No!

Fine. Fine. Fine!

Ed!

We'll see how you get along without me.

You don't look like you did five years ago.

You look like shit.

- Oh, yeah? Well as far as I'm concerned... - Yeah?

Vice-versa.

I'd forgotten how great this really is.

She's leaving me. Let's make sure everything's in order.

Oh, Jesus. We gotta get these companies back in my name.

Are you looking for that stuff that I'm always signing?

Yes.

- Like that file? - Yes.

- In the blue cover? - Yes. Yes.

Oh.

- Paul has it. - What?

You gave it to him? Why?

So he could take 'em to the paper.

Are you sellin' me out?

Hello? Anybody home?

JJ, lock the doors.

Get in here and sit down.

Why, thank you. I'd love a seat. My feet are killin' me.

Oh.

Hello.

- How've you been? - Very good, thank you.

- And you? - Pretty good. Busy.

Alright, cut the tea party crap!

Is she tellin' the truth? Did you take that stuff to the papers?

Billie always tells the truth.

All right, pal, I don't care what you have to do, you bring those papers back here,

or I will make you very sorry.

- Tell him I'm not bluffin'. - He's not bluffin'.

Like once... this would be good for the article... about six years ago

there was a strike at one of...

Shut up! Shut up! You don't know nothin' about that!

I know that was a double negative.

You stupid goddamn...

I also happen to know you've been payin' people of

- so that they won't shut down that base. - What?

Oh, I forgot. You're not a book reader like us.

- You bribed 'em! - No, no. Billie, Billie.

- "Bribe" is a strong word. - They got $150,000 each.

What would you call that, a tip?

You had no right to take those papers.

You had no right to do what you did, but you did it.

And now that you've done it, the people have a right to know.

- What people? - The people.

- Never heard of 'em. - Oh, you will.

12 of 'em are gonna be decidin' where you're gonna live.

So who are you all of a sudden, the government?

As a matter of fact, I am.

- Since when? - Since 1776.

Exactly.

All right.

What'll it take, Paul?

- What do you mean? - I think he's trying to tip you.

Aha.

- What'll you take? - I'll take a beer.

A light one if you got it.

Get back here. Don't try to get funny.

I ain't never met a guy yet that didn't have his price.

- I'm ready to talk big numbers. - Oh, you and your big numbers.

If you don't watch out, you'll be wearing big numbers right across your chest.

You see, Harry, there are some things that are more important than money.

Like what, your career?

Nope.

Like doin' the right thing.

Come on, Billie. Let's go.

- Harry. Harry! - Stop it!

- Harry! Harry! - What are you doin'?

Harry! You coulda killed him.

What do you care?

What do I care? 'M gonna marry him, that's what I care!

- You what? - You what?

I'm gonna marry him because he finally smartened up.

- I need a drink. - Let me get it for you, Mr. Devery.

Am I in the room?

Hello! Am I in the room?

You been cheatin' on me all the time with this guy?

No, we never did anything.

I wanted to, but he wouldn't let me.

So let's just drop the whole thing.

You get her and you don't have to worry about what I'm doin'.

Oh, but I do worry, Harry.

See, we got this beautiful piece of machinery...

I don't have to listen to any more lectures from you.

You talk more than a senator.

You wanna screw up Brock Village? Go ahead!

I got plenty other businesses! So get out!

- I'm sick of the sight of both of ya! - Perhaps you're forgettin'

that your other businesses belong to me

aw, Christ.

Remember how you used to say we'd go away, buy a house on the beach?

Why didn't we ever do that?

I couldn't do that. I had to work.

But why? You had five companies when I met you.

When was it gonna be enough so we could enjoy it?

One thing I have had enough of...

Is you and professor windbag.

Well, that will be corrected shortly when I leave.

Here's the deal:

I'll give the companies back to you, but only one at a time.

- What? - And only one a year.

- What? - Oh, my God.

First, you're calling those senators and getting that money back.

Then you're gettin' out of town, or Paul will write that story.

If I take that money back, they close the base. I lose the mall.

What am I supposed to do if you have all my companies?

- Maybe take a watercolor class. - Very funny.

- Also, you should walk the beach. - I don't live near a beach.

Well, that's okay. I'm rich for a little bit. I'll buy you a beach,

and I'll pay for your watercolor class,

and I'll get you a ticket to the museum so you can see that Van Gogh painting.

Are you nuts? Why should I do all this stuff?

- You have to ask why? - Yeah.

That's why. So you'll know what all that stuff is for.

Then maybe you'll find a little bit of what I've found.

Trust me, Harry. This will make you happy.

How would you know?

What do you think, I was born yesterday?

God, I love this woman.

- Bye, JJ. - Bye.

- You ready? - Absolutely.

You do what I'm tellin' ya!