All language subtitles for Alias Jesse James.EN

Out West where men
were brave and bold

The most exciting story told

Is all about a stranger
Who lived a life of danger

And he loved that shining gold

Jesse James was his name

Jesse James was his name

Let me tell you now
Before a guy could wink his eye

He'd rob the stage as it went by

And just as sure as Hades
He'd kiss the lovely ladies

And you ought to hear him sigh

Jesse James was his name

Jesse James was his name

Oh, yeah, well, a trigger-happy guy was he

As fast as any guy could be

I'll lay you two to one, man

Not another gunman

Was half as fast as he

Jesse James was his name

He made a lot of friends
But there the story ends

'Cause all good gunmen die

Jesse James was his name
Was his name

The wealth and might
that is America today

is reflected in its farms,
its factories, its banking institutions

and certainly in its various mammoth
insurance companies.

These gigantic corporations owned by
millions of stockholders and policy holders

have, since the beginning of our country,
been an integral part of our life.

Untold thousands of Americans
have received their educations

through the benefits of insurance policies.

Millions of American families have
been raised partially, or entirely,

on a monthly check from
their insurance company,

and the history of the expansion of
these institutions could almost be

the history
of the expansion of America itself.

But, vast as the resources and holdings
of these mighty companies are today,

each is the result
of great pioneering courage

and perseverance of these great founders.

And who deserves much of the credit
for the evolution of these companies

from their simple beginnings
into their present size?

It is no one but that almost forgotten,

hardworking door-to-door
insurance salesman,

to whom we respectfully
dedicate this picture.

The time is the early 1880s.

The place is New York City.

The occasion is a sales meeting
of the employees

of the Plymouth Rock Insurance Company.

Yes. Now, may I have the other charts,
Miss Raskin?

Let's see how you other gentlemen
have done.

Crimshaw. Oh, yes, yes.

You've done an admirable job, Crimshaw.

You dipped a little there in May,
but I see you bounced back up,

and you'll soon have a leg
on the gold watch.

Yes.

Now...

Well. Hastings!
You're right up there, aren't you?

You keep this up and you're well on your
way to that free weekend at Coney Island.

Why, this is amazing.

Oh.

Farnsworth.

Farnsworth, when are you ever
gonna sell a policy?

May I remind you, sir,
that just two weeks ago,

I turned in a signed policy
for a Miss Elfrida Bennett?

Which was rejected.

On a medical technicality.

Yes, a slight technicality.

When the doctor arrived
to examine her, she was dead.

Well, we've got to get a faster doctor.

A 30-year endowment policy
on a woman 98 years old.

Well, she lied about her age.

And much as I dislike
tooting my own horn, sir,

I was solely responsible for the sale
of Plymouth Rock's first marine policy,

issued on the new schooner Nantucket.

Please, please,
don't remind me of that launching.

I can still see the bubbles.

How did I know the anchor was heavier
than the boat?

Milford, I've given this a lot of thought,

and I think this company
can get along very well without you.

Turn in your key to the washroom.

Well, can't I even have visiting privileges?

Farnsworth, I'm curious.

What do you expect to achieve
with such crass ineptitude,

such utter incompetence,
such colossal stupidity?

Well, I was hoping
to become your assistant.

Sorry you couldn't get in yesterday,
Milford. We all missed your nickel.

Charlie, have you thought
any more about that insurance?

Some other time.

Sullivan beat Gentleman Jim?
He hasn't a chance.

Yeah? That's what they said when they
matched him up against Paddy Ryan.

Well, you can see their legs
clear up to the knees, I tell you.

Yeah? What'd you say
they called themselves?

The Gibson Girls.

Clear up to the knees.
I tell you, it's enough to drive you mad.

If you're talking about the Kansas City
bank, he got away with $25,000.

Jesse James wouldn't pull a gun out
of his holster for 25,000. The bank said...

Pardon me, gentlemen,

the exact amount was $33,228.33.

That's Jesse James!

Whiskey.

Forget it.
It's on the house.

Charlie, if you're going
to buy any insurance,

today is the day. I've got to make a sale.

Later, Milford. Later.

Charlie, there is no later with insurance.

You can't put off till tomorrow
what may strike you today.

Please, Milford, not now.

No, you're taking a lot of chances.
You got a lot of money laying around here.

Milford...

I mean, cash for your payroll,
cash for your customers, money in the till.

- This place is a gold mine.
- Have another sandwich. No charge.

Now what's to prevent somebody
from walking in here

and pressing the cold barrel
of a. 45 against your temple?

Very little.

Yeah, one shot and your wife is an orphan.
But not with Plymouth Rock Insurance.

You can leave her 5,000, 10,000,
anything you want.

And when your time comes,
you'll find yourself slipping away

with a smile on your lips
and a song in your heart.

You got to think about that.
That's the way to go, you know.

You got to think.

Please. Watch out, kid.

- Charlie...
- I wanna talk to you.

You'll have to excuse us, sir.

This is a private conversation between
the two of us, if you don't mind.

You two may not finish.

I'm interested in slipping away
with a smile on my lips

and a song in my heart.
I'll have my drink over at the table here.

This may be a hot one.

You caught me just at the right time.
I think I have one policy left.

Pleased to be of service to you, sir.
My card.

What is a Milford Farnsworth?

Oh, that's me. That's my name.
I'm Milford Farnsworth.

All right.

Oh, no. Whiskey is the weak man's crutch.

Now, we at Plymouth Rock are honored
to have been chosen by you, Mister...

- James. TJ James.
- Oh, yes.

I'd like to hear a little more
about this insurance.

As I understand it, your company
is willing to bet me on how long I'll live?

And they'll take the short end
by betting I'll live a long time?

Yeah. I guess you could put it that way.

Well, if I'm dead,
how do I know I'll get paid off?

My good man,
the Plymouth Rock Insurance Company

wouldn't be in business two minutes
if they didn't make good on their policies.

Just so long as we understand each other.
Now, who gets the money?

Well, your wife, your mother,
whatever loved one you designate.

Well, then you take out your pencil
and paper and start writing.

- The money goes to Miss Cora Lee Collins.
- Cora Lee Collins.

- Angel's Rest, Missouri.
- Angel's Rest, Missouri.

- And what is her relationship to you?
- Loved one.

I don't think the company
has that classification.

Well, make it wife. She will be.

Now, how much money is your company
prepared to put up?

Well, we're prepared to go as high
as you want to go.

That's 1,000, 5,000, 10,000...

- Well, let's say 100,000.
- Yeah, let's say that. Oh.

Well, how would you like
to make the payments?

Would that be quarterly, or semi-annually?

- I'll pay it all now.
- You'll pay it all...

No, no, you don't understand.

See, that's about $33,000.

100,000. That's the premium and I...

Yeah, well, just keep the change.

Yeah.

You just wait here and I'll run
across the street to the doctor's

and arrange for your physical.

Don't you take any drinks or anything.
You look fine just as you are.

Good morning, Mr. Quesely.
You remember me?

With deep horror.

I hope you haven't had
the lock in the washroom changed,

because I'm gonna be around here
for quite a while.

You have 30 seconds to leave
before your beneficiaries cash in.

Mr. Quesely. I sold a policy.

Ten seconds.
And get that trash off my desk.

Mr. Quesely,
do you know what's in that bag?

It better be something you can defend
yourself with, Farnsworth.

There's $33,000 in that bag.

Farnsworth, do you feel all right?

It represents the premium paid in full
on an insurance policy of $100,000.

I suggest that this be counted
and turned over to the auditor at once.

Here's the policy,
if you'd like to look it over, sir.

Why certainly, sir. I mean, Milford.

Yeah, let's see now.

"Mr. TJ James,
beneficiary Miss Cora Lee Collins,

"in the amount of

"$100,000."

Well, who is this Mr. TJ James, my boy?

Oh, he's quite an operator.

But what are his sources of income?

Well, naturally I didn't pry into any details.

- Naturally.
- But I gathered from him

that he's well known
in railroad and banking circles.

Well, this is too big to fool with. Better
set up an appointment for his physical.

Oh, I'm afraid it's too late for that.
Mr. James left last night on the train.

But I had Doc Bishop rush him through
right away. Here's the medical.

I promised you'd send him a box of cigars.

Send them? I'll take them over myself.

Here's the morning paper, Mr. Quesely.

Miss Raskin, how many times have I told
you not to interrupt me in conference?

And never, never when I'm with
our star salesman, Mr. Farnsworth.

Just a minute, Miss Raskin.

How much have you been
drawing a week, Milford?

Oh, $7.50.

Raise that to $10.
And do you have the $25 bonus

that I told you to draw for Milford
this morning? Good.

See that he gets it right away.

Now, Farnsy, my boy,

I am going to carry the ball from here
on in. You take the rest of the day off.

- Oh, but it's a working day.
- It's a day to celebrate.

Go on to the beach.
Take a ride on the new elevated.

You've earned it.
Go on. Get out of here. Scat.

Farnsworth! Farnsworth!

Another bonus?

Farnsworth.

Funny, I have a feeling
I've seen that face before.

Farnsworth, is that or is that not

the man to whom you sold
a $100,000 life insurance policy?

I told you, I thought his face was familiar.

Anything happens to that man,
this company is ruined.

Funny thing,
not once during the whole evening

did he mention
that he was a notorious killer.

Will you shut up?

Farnsworth, you're gonna take
the next train west.

What?

You're going to return this money to
James and make him give up that policy.

Me, make him?

And if James refuses to return that policy,

you are to remain by his side forever,
to protect our interest.

You are to ride with him,
eat with him, sleep with him.

At the slightest sign of danger, you
are to lay down your life to protect his.

- Go.
- But, Mr. Quesely, I'm liable to get killed.

Stop trying to cheer me up.

And I knew the minute I saw you
that you were responsible gentlemen,

men who are keenly aware

of your financial obligations
to your family and estate.

Now, no other policy can give you
the protection that this one can.

And you don't have to worry
about the cost.

Your wampum
can be divided into 12 easy wamps.

Well, that's my story. Are you sold?

No? But I've explained everything.

Believe me,
you can't go wrong with Plymouth Rock.

Why won't you buy? Give me one reason.

Foreigners.

They're foreigners.

All right, everybody. Reach!
All right, let's get 'em up.

Come on, now. Get out the money
and the valuables. Come on.

All right, get 'em out.
You heard what he said.

You got anything?

You sure?

You wouldn't fool me?

What is that, a gold tongue?

Now, let's have the rest of it.
That's it. There's a good boy.

- Now, let's have the rest of it.
- That's all there is.

Oh.

- What's that?
- Oh, that's just my girdle.

- Oh, it's your girdle.
- I'm wearing it a little loose this...

Oh...

Say, that'll just fit me.

But I'm supposed to give that money
to somebody.

You just did.

Did you ever hear of a man
called Jesse James?

Who's he?

Well, he happens to be a very close friend
of mine that I'm gonna visit.

How do you think he's gonna feel
when he finds out how you treated me?

Heartbroken.

All right, boys, let's get out of here.

Didn't I hand you $1
when we left New York?

Yes, sir. Right here.

Well, thanks for keeping
an eye on it for me.

Say, where can I find Jesse James?
I wanna talk to him about a robbery.

There's a guy here,
wants to see Jesse about a robbery.

Hey, open up. I want to send a telegram.

I don't know what I've got,
but I hope there's a cure for it.

Jesse, a stranger in town
wants to see you about a robbery.

Thanks a lot.

Take care of that, Frank. Not too rough.
Just get him out of town.

That's New York. Send it collect.

Man could get a cheap nose job here.

Hey, where can I find Jesse James?

Never heard of him.

I'll find him.

I just got to figure out what a man like
Jesse'd be doing at this time of day.

It's for my new number.

You like it?

Yeah. Sure do like it, Cora Lee, honey.

My, you're as pretty as a new bank.

Please, Jesse.

Don't ruin it before I've had a chance
to wear it.

Well, buy another one,
if that's all that's bothering you.

I'm sorry.

I guess all women feel that way
about a new dress.

Maybe so.

Oh, I forgot...

I got you something.

Looks mighty expensive.

Yeah, I'd have got it for you sooner,

but the train didn't come through
till this morning.

Thank you.

You got to keep it.
We're gonna get married, aren't we?

I'd like to think about it.

You thought about it long enough.
I'm getting tired of waiting.

Ma's coming in today.
She's gonna make the arrangements.

You always get what you want,
don't you, Jesse?

Always.

Cora Lee Collins.

Cora Lee Collins.
I thought that name sounded familiar.

Jesse's beneficiary.

Howdy.

Hi.

Hi, sir.

Nice day for drinking.

Wasn't it?

- What'll you have?
- Oh, I'd like some information.

We sell liquor here, boy.

Oh.

I'll take what he's having.

Do you know where I could find
a Miss Cora Lee Collins?

She works here at night.

If you're still here by then, you'll see her.

You should have a wick in this.

What's the matter,
don't you like the liquor I'm drinking?

Yeah. It's okay.

Why don't you drink it?

That'll be 50 cents.

Here's your change.

Lucky I didn't have a bigger bill.

I hit it. Struck it rich.
The drinks are on me.

Hooray!

What'll it be?

Some of that.

- You drink that all the time?
- Ever since the goat went dry.

A man like you needs protection.
Now my company is willing to bet you

on how long you're gonna live, and
we'll take the short end by betting you

you'll live a long time.

- Really?
- That's the Plymouth Rock.

Fill them up again.
Where do I make the bet?

You just sign right there. And the bet's on
as soon as you pass the physical.

How are you fixed?

Hey, Grigsby!

You double-crossing varmint!
You jumped my claim!

He'll never pass the physical.

All right, drink up, everybody.

Anybody doesn't drink with me
is a dead man.

Well, what're you gonna do?

Oh, I can't play. I don't have any money.

That's better than money.

Oh. Well, as long as it's a friendly game.

- I'm out.
- Me, too.

- I pass.
- Me, too.

- How many?
- I'll stand pat.

- I'll suffer through.
- Give me three.

Three.

- Give me three cards.
- I just gave you three.

I didn't like those.

Oh.

That's better. Now give me two.

Hope you find something you like soon.
I'm running out of deck.

That's fine. I got all I need now.
What do you do?

- Oh, I think I'll take one.
- You was pat.

Fair is fair.

Anything I can't stand,
it's cheating at cards.

Me, neither.
Another thing I can't stand is killing.

Well, now, killing in this town'll get
you 90 days. Cheating'll get you shot.

That's what I like. Law and order.

I bet two stacks.

Oh, I can't go any further.
I haven't got any more money.

Why, sure you have.

What're you fellas with, a laundry?

The pants.

I didn't think the stakes were that low.

All right, there you are.

- I call you.
- Four queens.

Wait a minute. I didn't see 'em.

Mister, if you don't find four queens
in that deck, I'll give you your money back.

Hold it. I got you beat anyway.
I got four kings.

All right, let's see 'em.

I said, let's see 'em.

There.

If you don't find four kings in that
goat, I'll give you your money back.

Why, you cheating tinhorn.

Hold it. Don't anybody make a move
or I'll blow my brains out.

You've all had your little joke.
Now I'm giving the orders.

Okay. Give me my shirt.
Here, hold my coat. Give me my pants.

Here, hold my gun.
You don't know who you're...

Where have I failed?

One thing I know,
a Westerner never shot a man in the back.

Oh. Wait till I tell
the Chamber of Commerce about this.

I'll be right there, Ma.

What are you doing in here?

Oh, I'm with the fire department, ma'am.

Just checking safety regulations.
Yep. Yeah, it'll burn.

Yeah. Oh, that'll burn.

I'm sorry.

It's very warm.

Get 'em up.

- That's what I'm trying to do.
- If I was you, I'd get out of this town.

Do you know whose room that was
you just come out of?

- No.
- Jesse James' gal.

Oh. Do you know who I am?

- No.
- Thanks. When's the next train leave?

That city fellow sent this telegram
a while ago.

Well, so he wired his boss
for more money.

Maybe we better be nice to him
till he gets here.

Where is this Farnsworth?

I just put him on the train, Jesse.

Don't worry,
I'm used to getting things off that train.

Why, it's Jesse James.

Put 'em down. Put 'em down.
This one's on me.

Hiya, Milford.

- Hiya, Jesse.
- I've been looking all over for you.

- I've been looking for you.
- Come on, we're going back.

- We're miles from town.
- Oh, I got a horse waiting.

Yeah?

He's my client.

Ma, I want you to meet a friend of mine.

From New York.
His name is Milford Farnsworth.

- I'll go get your room ready.
- Howdy, son, and welcome.

Pleased to know you.
Mighty fine place you have here.

Well, I guess I'll be running along.

Oh, it's you.

I didn't recognize you with your pants on.

Not so loud, please.

It's all right. The boys told me all about it.

They was just joking with you.
They're kind of playful.

Yes.

You come on in with me.
I'll fix you a cup of raspberry tea.

Oh, don't let me interrupt your housework.

Oh, don't fret.
I already done the big pieces.

I'm always cleaning up after the boys.

They're so careless.

It's important to keep a gun clean,
you know.

Oh, I know. A guy can get blood poisoning

from getting killed with a dirty bullet.

This here's our game room.

Who's playing here tonight,
Smith and Wesson?

Jesse got that for me
when he was just a boy.

I used to send him to the museum.

Imagine. A little kid like that, soaking up
culture, no matter what it weighed.

Sport model?

- What's this?
- That's one of Jesse's hobbies.

He collects gold watches.
He's got enough there to open a store.

Probably how he got most of them.

Milford, your room's ready for you.

Say, I sure appreciate your letting me
stay here where I can keep an eye on you.

I gotta make sure nothing happens to you.

Hey! Here's a little present for you.

Really? For me? Gee, thanks, Jesse.

Hey, and you had it engraved, too.

I did?

Yeah. "To Milford Farnsworth
from his grandfather. "

- And Cora Lee. How nice.
- Hello, Ma.

What a pretty dress.

- You look mighty pretty yourself.
- Thank you, dear.

Come on in to the house.

- Evening, Miss Cora Lee.
- Evening, Cole.

- Hello, Hannah.
- Frank, here's Cora Lee.

- Good evening, Cora Lee.
- Good evening, Frank.

- Nice to see you.
- Thank you.

- Pardon me, will you?
- Mmm-hmm.

Oh, Mr. Farnsworth.
- How do you do?

- I believe you two have met.
- Oh, yes.

- How are things at the firehouse?
- Well, not too good.

- They found a sliver in the pole.
- I'll go get you two something to drink.

Say, I want to apologize
for breaking in on you like that.

Oh, that's all right.
I guess you lost your head.

That's not all I lost.

They do play a rough game of poker
in this town.

It's lucky I quit.
My next bet would've been skin.

Come in. Welcome to the party.

Come right on in
and make yourselves comfortable.

Oh, hiya, Milford. Some party, eh?

Oh, Cora Lee, honey.
Would you do the honors?

I'll fetch the cigars.

Milford Farnsworth, this is Luke Hutchins,
our mayor of Angel's Rest.

- Hi, Mayor.
- Welcome to our town.

It's yours for the asking.

And this is Jeremiah Cole,
our village blacksmith.

Oh, well, who's watching
the chestnut tree?

- Mighty glad to know you.
- Thank you very much.

You can quit pumping.
I think we got a pretty good blaze going.

And over here we have Mortimer Hobclaw.

Mr. Hobclaw's our undertaker.

- How do you do?
- How are you?

Oh, I'm sorry.
I meet so few people standing up.

You can take inventory later.

Say, you have some mighty
interesting people here in Missouri.

That's very good. What is your name, son?

Harry Truman.

Keep playing. You'll help the party.

- Shall we try the porch? It might be cooler.
- Mmm-hmm.

Is this your first trip west,
Mr. Farnsworth?

Yes, I've always wanted to open up
this territory for my insurance firm.

- Oh, you're in insurance.
- Deeper than you think.

- Is Mrs. Farnsworth here with you?
- No. She's too old to travel this far.

Besides, she wouldn't want
to leave Dad alone.

Oh, I know what you mean.

No. I guess I'm what you'd call
an eligible bachelor.

Oh.

Well, I guess there's no harm
in a man taking his time

before embarking on a sea of matrimony.

As long as he doesn't wait till he's too old
to make the trip.

Oh, Ahwahnee.

This is Princess Ahwahnee.
Mr. Farnsworth, dear.

An Indian Princess.
Do I curtsy or just tip my scalp?

How do you do?

If you don't see what you want,
just ask for it.

Your eyes, they should be on a woman.

Yeah. They usually are.

Well, I see you've made a conquest.

Well, this is pretty strange
for me out here.

Different than New York?

Well, you could walk for days through
Central Park without seeing an Indian.

Really?

I'll get you a drink.

- No, thanks.
- How about something to eat?

- No, thank you.
- Would you care to dance?

Mmm-mmm.

Well, that doesn't leave very much.

- Hey, Cora Lee, how about it?
- All right.

It's a mighty pretty evening
for a barbecue

Got the banjos out to plunk a bar or two

Moon is shining bright
And there's a star or two

And I can smell the donuts and the pie

But I just ain't a-hankering
for banjo plunking

Ain't a-hankering for pumpkin pie

Ain't a-hankering for donut dunking

There's something else
entirely on my mind

Oh, there's something else
entirely on my mind

And it ain't cotton picking

And it ain't berry pie

And it ain't eating chicken

There's something else
entirely on my mind

Oh, there's something else entirely
on my mind

I'll bet that Broadway's all lit up
And Central Park's in bloom

Swell hotels with belles a-smelling
from perfume

Folks a-grabbing hansom cabs
to see Grant's Tomb

And the carousel is swell at Coney Isle
But I just

Ain't a-hankering to see trees blooming

Ain't a-hankering to see swell styles

Ain't a-hankering to go Grant's-Tombing

There's something else
entirely on my mind

Yeah, there's something else
entirely on my mind

And it ain't hansom cabbing

And it ain't Coney Isle

And it ain't brass ring-grabbing

Oh, there's something else
entirely on my mind

Oh, there's something else entirely

on my mind

Everything all right, Frank?

Just like a church social.
I told the boys to lay off the rough stuff.

Him. Butter wouldn't melt in his mouth.

- Maybe butter's not what he's after, Jesse.
- Forget it, Frank.

- Okay. She's not my gal.
- Relax. Milford's our friend.

Till the dough comes.

Till the dough comes, then we won't need
Mr. Farnsworth anymore.

- Okay, Jesse. Just let me know.
- Let you know?

Yeah, you have all the fun.
Let me have this one, huh?

Well, I'd better say goodnight to Jesse.

- Jesse.
- You have to leave so soon?

- I must. I'm a working girl, you know.
- Yeah, but not for long.

Oh, Milford, I gotta take care
of my other guests.

Would you mind showing Cora Lee
back to town?

I'd be happy to, Jesse.

- Good night, honey.
- Good night, Jesse.

You don't need to, Milford. Out here, you
know, women aren't quite that helpless.

Don't move.

There. Boy, the mice grow pretty big
out here, don't they?

- That was a Gila monster. They're deadly.
- Really?

You're a very brave man.

Why? For just killing
a little old Gila monster?

- I know. But with a rattlesnake?
- Yeah...

Come on, I'll take you home.

Later we'll toss
to see who takes me home.

I won't have it, Son.
I tell you, I won't have it.

I already told you, Ma.
There's nothing I can do about it.

I've got a position in this community,

and I'm gonna do the best I can
to uphold it.

I declare, Jesse, you're the most
stubborn son a mother ever had.

I'll leave it to anybody.
Oh, Mr. Farnsworth.

Oh, evening, ma'am.
I was just on my way up to my room.

I wish you'd help me talk some sense
into this fool son of mine.

He's bent on having a gunfight
tomorrow at dawn.

- Oh, you shouldn't do that.
- 'Course not.

I won't have him leaving
without breakfast.

I wish you'd quit babying me, Ma.
Snake Brice is in town,

boasting he's gonna shoot me down.
What do you expect me to do?

Eat a good breakfast.

Your pa never went out shooting folks
on an empty stomach.

You remind me of my own mother.

Besides, it's damp at dawn,

and Jesse's liable to get pneumonia
before he gets killed.

"Killed"? Hey, we got to talk about this.

- What about the policy?
- We'll talk about it after the shooting.

No, that may be too late.

Promise me you'll wear your rubbers
if it's damp, Son?

Sure, Ma.

And remember to take
a clean handkerchief.

Stop fretting, Ma.
I won't go without my breakfast.

Well, I better get to sleep.
Man says he's gonna gun you at dawn,

you want to be there.

Jesse's a good boy.

- You mean you're gonna let him go?
- It's his work.

It's like being a doctor.
If somebody wants you, you gotta go,

any time of the day or night.
Know what I mean?

Anything happens to that man,
this company is ruined.

Anything happens to that man,
this company is ruined.

Anything happens to that man,
this company is ruined.

All right, I'm getting tired
of your ugly face.

Go for your guns.

Don't move. I got the drop on you.

Come on, get going.

- Jesse, somebody turned the horses loose.
- What?

- Somebody turned the horses loose.
- Well, round 'em up.

I've been robbed.

Here's the chance you been
waiting for, Snake. Jesse's in town.

I'll be ready soon as I finish my breakfast.

I'm ready.

You wait in the stable.
I'll take it from here.

Anything I hate, it's a brave horse.

You go rest.
I may be heavier on the trip home.

Okay, Jesse, I'm gonna give you a break.

You draw first.

I knew you was yellow, Jesse.
But it ain't gonna do you no good.

Draw.

Why, that's the fastest draw
Jesse ever made.

I never even seen
his hands touch his guns.

- Neither did I.
- No.

Nice shooting, Jesse.
Hey, wait a minute, that's not Jesse.

- That's Milford.
Milford?

I hope that teaches him a lesson.

If he's not out of town by noon,
I'll wing him again.

- What's all the shooting about?
- Snake Brice was looking for Jesse.

- Jesse get him?
- No, but Milford did.

- Milford?
- He's got the fastest hat alive.

- Tell him I want to see him.
- All right.

- Have you been hit?
- Calm yourself, missy. I feel fine.

- You're sure you're all right?
- Yup.

You put on Jesse's clothes?
And you faced Snake Brice?

- Yup. Yup.
- You outdrew him. You shot him down.

- You're a gun-slinger.
- Yup. Yup. Nope.

- Then why did you do it?
- Well, I had to.

- It was either him or me or Jesse.
- But what does Jesse mean to you?

Jesse means everything to me.

I got him insured for $100,000.

But I don't have to tell you that.
After all, you're his beneficiary.

- His what?
- You mean to say you didn't know

that if Jesse gets killed, you get $100,000?

Why would Jesse
arrange a thing like that?

You can answer that better than me.
After all, you're his girl, aren't you?

Well, aren't you?

Jesse doesn't ask questions.
If he wants something, he just takes it.

And who's gonna argue with him?
Are you?

Well, it hadn't occurred to me before,
but now that you mentioned it, nope.

Milford. Milford, will you do something
for me? Something I want very much?

Well, I reckon that depends.

- Now, what was it you wanted?
- Get out of town.

You sure got a funny way
of saying goodbye.

I wouldn't want
anything to happen to you.

If you stay around here,
you haven't got a chance. Will you go?

I don't know,
but I'd sure like to say goodbye again.

You're a little late, Jesse.
Milford already took care of Snake.

Where's Milford now?

You see, I told you. Somebody shot at you.

Let's have a little more respect
for heroes out there.

I reckon I better go down
and teach him a lesson.

- No, wait.
- Huh?

Please, don't start anything, Milford.

Oh, as long as I don't come unstrung,
I'm still in business.

Sorry, Milford.
Thought I saw a man in here.

Oh, maybe it's because
I'm wearing your clothes.

Yeah, would you mind telling me
what this is all about?

Well, I want to talk to you about that
insurance policy, but you won't let me.

He was only trying to protect you, Jesse.

Yeah, if anything happens to you,
I'm dead.

Well, let's not have any more of this.

And I don't like anybody
doing my shooting for me.

Or anything.

What's that?

Well, I shaved this morning,
and I'm a slow bleeder.

Better get out of here
before I become a faster one.

Got something for you, Jesse.
This just come for Farnsworth

from that insurance company in New York.

"Milford Farnsworth,
Angel's Rest, Missouri.

"You are fired. Repeat, fired.

"You are the Benedict Arnold
of the insurance business.

"Am coming west with another $33,000

"to buy back policy. Arriving 10:00 tonight.

"Kindly do not meet me. Titus Quesely. "

Oh, we ain't gonna meet him.

We're just gonna shake hands
with his money. Thanks, Elmo.

Wait a minute, what's all this about
my being your beneficiary?

Oh, didn't I tell you?

Well, one day soon,
you and me are gonna collect $100,000.

Then we can settle down.

To collect $100,000, you've gotta be dead.

Oh, I won't be dead.

It'll be some fellow who just looks like me.

- Milford.
- Yeah, Jess?

You wear that outfit. Looks great on you.

- Can I keep it?
- As long as you live.

And don't tire yourself out down there.
We got a little business deal tonight.

Say, Jesse,
I wonder what's holding up that train?

In case you forgot, we are.

- Hey, nobody's gonna get hurt, are they?
- Not necessarily.

Whatever you do, don't get shot.
My company would never forgive me.

I don't plan to.

- Hey, here she comes now.
- Hey, Jesse, I've been thinking this over

and I'm gonna sit this one out.
I just don't like it.

- Let's go.
- Yeah.

All right, let's go. Come on.
Aw, it might be fun after all.

You know what to do?

I ought to.
I've been robbed myself.

Well, now's your chance
to get even.

I'm pretty fast
on the trigger, too.

And there's the trigger, right there.

Just remember. These people
try to hide their jewels and money.

We have to search everybody.

Check. You take the men
and I'll take the women.

Come on.

Reach.

We'll cover you. Get busy.

All right, get your valuables out.

Don't any of you varmints reach for
a weapon or I'll let daylight through you.

Put it in the poke. There you are.
Okay, all of it.

All right, shorty, get it up. Come on,
let's have it. Where did you go?

Toss it down, redwood.

You got snow up there?
All right, get 'em up. Up.

What a bank.
Drop that turnip in here. Watch it.

Okay, let's have it. Okay, come on.

Young man, I hope you realize
what you're doing's against the law.

Hide it. Hide it, we're over our quota.

- What are you trying to do?
- Sorry, we don't take confederate money.

Here, let me see that.
All right...

Nothing wrong with that stuff.

What are you trying to do,
go in business for yourself?

What's wrong with that?

Nothing. I just wanted to see
if you're on your toes.

Boys, let's get out of here.
Yeah.

- You, guard the rear.
- Guard the rear?

Oh, but, Jesse, Jesse, wait for me.

Jesse, wait for me.
Jesse, Jesse, where are you?

Come on. What are we waiting for?
Let's get out of here.

One little chore we ain't attended to yet.

- Oh! Oh, there you are.
- Let's get outta here.

Jesse!

- Okay, Jesse, I covered the rear.
- You ride on ahead. We'll take over.

Well, that's that.

Get in touch with the insurance people
and tell them that Jesse James is dead.

I needed that.

You look like you had
a hard day at the office.

We're going to the ranch tonight.
Start packing your things.

- What for? What is all this?
- We had an accident at the train tonight.

I got killed.

He's dead.

The tombstone on Boot Hill
will have my name on it.

As soon as the insurance company
pays off that $100,000,

we'll have enough for the rest of our lives.

We're getting married tomorrow.

Now, let's take this a little slower, Jesse.

Now start packing.

- You the telegraph operator?
- That's right.

Never figured she'd make it on time
after getting held up tonight.

- How did you know the train was held up?
- That train always gets held up.

Here.

I want this message delivered promptly
to the telegraph operator at the first stop.

We'll get ourselves
a fine spread somewhere.

A long ways from here, 1,000 miles.
Maybe California.

You and Frank can have this place.

Gonna be all right, Ma,
working out real great.

What if they come around here,
looking for him?

- Looking for who?
- Milford.

Just tell 'em he went back east.

Sounds reasonable.

Milford was a nice boy.

Yeah.

Too bad he didn't have
some of his own insurance.

So they'll be looking for him.

Leastways they won't be looking
for me no more.

There won't be any more sheriffs
riding up to my door.

It's Milford.

Whoa. Oh, boy. Whoa girl. Whoa.

Happy yogurt.

Oh, good. You made it.
I was worried about you, Jesse.

I would've gone back and looked for you,
but my horse got away from me.

Boy, I thought sure they got you.

Good boy.

Oh, boy.

It's sure good to be home.

What a night.

What's the matter with you two?
You look as though you've seen a ghost.

Why, we heard you got killed
in the train holdup, Milford.

What happened?
I can't understand how we could've...

I mean, I thought you stopped
a lot of lead out there.

Oh, I did. I gained twelve pounds
in seven seconds. But I was okay.

Boy, it's a good thing
Jesse went to that museum.

I was wearing my heavies.

- Pretty good, eh, Ma?
- Oh, yes. Yes, indeed.

- You were very lucky, Milford.
- Lucky? I could've been Swiss cheese.

Those bullets were playing
Goodbye Forever up and down my spine.

Oh, but I've had it. I'm gonna find
Mr. Quesely first thing in the morning

and give myself up. It won't be bad.
You know, about 10 years.

- Give yourself up? What for?
- I robbed a train tonight.

- Well, so what? I was there, too.
- Yeah, but that's different with you.

That's your business. Yeah.

Well, I'll see you in the morning
before I leave, Ma.

Good night, Ma.

- Good night, Jesse.
- Good night, Milford.

Boy, I'm glad you're okay.
That's the main thing. Good night.

- How about that?
- Now, now, Son.

Things went a little wrong tonight.
Don't let that bother you.

Remember what I always taught you, Son.

What you can't do today
you can do tomorrow.

Good morning.

- Going someplace?
- Yes, it's back to the big town for me.

Well, I'm kind of glad,
and I'm sorry, too, Milford.

We'll miss you around here.

Yeah, well, I gotta get back
and report to the company.

I got a lot of big deals cooking.

I think you're one of the nicest persons
I've ever known.

I'm glad I'm here to hear it.

I'm sorry things didn't work out
better for you.

Oh, things worked out fine, just fine.

I got myself mixed up in a robbery.

Practically put my company
out of business.

Double-crossed my friends.

It's not easy to louse up a whole town
in three days, but I made it.

Compared to me,
General Custer was a big success.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye, Milford.

I'd kind of like to say goodbye
like we did before.

Yeah.

- Goodbye, Milford.
- Cora Lee.

- Hi, Jess.
- Milford.

Milford, I was thinking about
what you talked about last night.

You didn't do anything wrong.

Your boss was bringing that money out
to give to me and I got it.

Yeah, but you don't understand, Jesse.

The money was
for the return of the policy.

Return the policy.

- Well, I might just do that.
- You would?

I always knew you were my friend.

You ride into town and tell Quesely
that I'll be in for a talk, huh?

Oh, great.

- Oh, Milford.
- Yeah.

Be sure you take the shortcut,
the one over there through Stone Canyon.

- Stone Canyon?
- Yeah.

- Thanks, Jesse.
- Real pretty that way.

- Bye, Cora Lee.
- Bye, Milford.

I'll be back in a minute.

He don't scare me, but if you're chicken,
we better get going. Come on.

Come on, baby.

All right, this is it. Whip it into high.

If I was in shape, you wouldn't...

You...

Oh. I wasn't trying.

I know how you feel about me, Princess,
but try and control your emotions.

- Keep head down. Maybe come more rock.
- Yeah.

Yeah, it's a good thing
you bumped into me.

- That could have been a nasty accident.
- No accident.

You might not be so lucky next time.
Now, this policy protects you

against falling objects, buffalo stampedes
and termites in your wigwam.

Just sign right here.

What do you mean it was no accident?

- If you die, Jesse collect insurance.
- Jesse? But I've got him insured.

How could he collect if...

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, he could dress my body up
in his clothes,

and there's plenty of crooked witnesses.

Yeah.

Come on. Let's get outta here.
They may be loading that slingshot again.

I'm deeply honored by your obvious
affection for me, Princess,

- but I'm not your type, honest Injun.
- Ahwahnee know that you love another.

- Cora Lee?
- She send me to warn you of ambush.

- Really?
- She love you.

Love me? Oh, I couldn't be that lucky.

- It is sad that you let her marry another.
- A doll like her, loving...

What was that again?

She does not wish it,
but Jesse marry her today.

Well, he can't do that to my girl.

- We got to figure out a way to stop that.
- How?

This is no time for Indian talk.
Let's get moving.

Whoa. Whoa there.
- Someone's coming.

- Yeah?
- Maybe Jesse's men.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa, there. Whoa, there.

Hey, Indians. Indians.

Halt! Halt in the name of the law.

- Me, Justice of Peace.
- Me no savvy. Gotta scoot.

- Me big hurry.
- I'm in a hurry, too.

This is one bridegroom
I'd better not keep waiting.

Are you make marriage?

Come all the way from Elderberry City
for this one.

Which way is the James Ranch?

Me show paleface. Me show how go fast.

Go fast like wind through cheap teepee.

I'm in a hurry. I'm late now.

Ah, come. Come.

- Just tell me. Point.
- No. Come up hill. See James' wigwam.

Very good, from hill. Come.

Well, a man don't get married every day,
you know.

What a beautiful day for a wedding.

Like they say,
"Happy is the bride the sun shines on. "

Then I don't see why it doesn't rain.

Oh... It would cool things off.

Oh, you're just fretting, dear.
And you don't need to.

Jesse's going to treat you real nice.
Jesse respects womanhood.

He ain't never shot a one.

How do you like the foliage?

Oh, you fool me.

Thanks to you, old man. When we
get to town I'll buy you a flyswatter.

We can't ride horse.
Horse get sick. Been eating these.

- What are you talking about?
- You see.

He looks all right to me.

Whoops.

Looks like somebody stole
his merry-go-round.

- Is he going to happy hunting ground?
- They no kill.

Just make loco for short time.

Hey, they sound like
wonderful party favors.

Hey, get a rock, we can grate some
of these in the buckboard.

These may help our case. I hate to
go to a party empty-handed. Come on.

Hey, Jesse, come here.

- The justice of the peace is here.
- Well, it's about time you got here.

I'm sorry about that.
I got a late start from Elderberry City.

My wife forgot to wind the rooster.

Yeah. Well, let's get started.

Hey, you guys, pipe down.

All right, we'll start the wedding.

Oh, guns have no place
in the sanctity of marriage.

I will not share the room
with weapons of the devil. No, sir.

Well, all right, boys. Take off your guns.
We'll put 'em in the kitchen.

Put 'em on the table, boys.

Well, a mighty fine spread you got here.

Oh, I'm sorry, Judge.
I'm not used to being a host.

- Have a drink.
- Well, just a little one.

Oh, go on, have a real drink.

Well, it wouldn't be proper for me to drink
unless it was a toast to the groom.

That's it. A toast to the groom.

To Jesse James, a good son,

- a good brother and a good...
- Down the hatch!

Let's have another one.

Everybody ready?

Here comes the bride.

My friends, we are...

How you feeling?

Fine. Will you get on with it?

My friends, we are all gathered here today
to mourn for the dearly departed.

Oh, I'm sorry,
that's where I left off yesterday.

What about today?

Oh, you nervous bridegrooms
are all the same.

- What are you doing?
- Just checking.

A healthy marriage is a happy marriage.

Do you, Jesse James, take this woman
to be your lawful wedded wife?

Yeah.

And do you, Cora Lee Collins, take this
man to be your lawful wedded husband?

She does.

- The ring, please.
- The ring?

Ring?

Well, if there's no ring,
you can hardly expect to have a wedding.

I knew this marriage wouldn't last.

Pardon me.

Jesse, come and get some coffee, dear.

I told you you were making that punch
too strong.

Hey, you guys.
Get in the kitchen, coffee up. Fast!

There, they'll never
come through this door.

They sure won't. That's the closet.
The door's over there.

Hey, wait.
I got an idea. I want to look for something.

Hurry.

Let's go, men.

Here we go.

They're coming. Come on.

Here they are.
Up here in this room here.

It's locked.

All right, men. Let's break this door down.

Put your shoulder into it. Come on, move!

I'll bet you this is the first time
the preacher ever eloped with the bride.

There they go! Come on, men!

Missed. They're getting away.

Move, you nincompoops.

Head for the depot.
We gotta catch the train.

- What's the matter, Milford? Are you hurt?
- No, I'm fine now.

Thanks for the rest.

Darling.

Boy, I'm sure glad that's over.

Hey, Cora Lee, come back!

Bring a ladder.

I wonder what's par for this hole?

Find a river, quick.

I've had enough of that.

We've missed the train. Now what?

- Head for town. The Sheriff will help us.
- Yeah.

Whoa.

Come on.

- Sheriff, you gotta help us.
- He's gone.

Yeah. Wait. I'll get one of these.

Milford, be careful.
I know Jesse. He's dangerous.

Look for some ammunition.

- You fool. You might hit Jesse.
- Down, Mr. Quesely.

What are you trying to do, ruin me?

I got no time to talk to you.
I'm gonna get killed in a minute.

You'll get killed when I tell you to.

I've sent for the proper authorities.
They'll handle this.

Hey, you ruffians. Put down those guns.

I'm making a citizen's arrest. I say that...

Mr. Quesely! Mr. Quesely!

Mr. Quesely!

There you are, Mr. Quesely.
Have one on me.

Milford, look. Look what I found.

Darling, are you all right?

Yeah, you're all right.

- Is he dead?
- No.

He's one of those sneak-drinkers.
Here, stop making a pig of yourself.

- Look, Milford.
- Huh?

Oh, he's mine.

- You got him.
- Of course. I had him surrounded.

Here, notch that. Oh, I'll get him.

That got 'em.

That's one more. Notch it again.

Well, back to the wagon.

- Wonderful, Milford.
- You want more, huh?

Well, another one for Boot Hill.

I'll bet they're sorry
they ever tangled with me.

Happy trails to you.

You hot little heater.

You want a teddy bear, baby? Stand by.

Frank, give me a light.

Shoot at my friend, will you?

Make smaller notches.
I may run out of handle.

I never saw such shooting.

A little high.

I'm slicing again.

Yep.

Man, do I handle this thing.

Milford, I think there's a man
behind that barrel.

Give me that rifle.

Poor fool, he never had a chance.

Paleface bite dust.

Somebody's been smuggling guns
to the Indians.

- Anybody left out there?
- This is the shot I've been waiting for.

All right, stick your head up, I dare you.

This fellow needs all the help he can get.

Man, I didn't know
he could shoot like that.

Yeah.

All right, drop those guns
or I'll show no mercy.

Anything you say, Milford.
Throw down your guns, boys.

There they are. I didn't think they'd
give up that easily. How about that?

Wonderful job!

Watch my trigger finger.

It was one of my shorter battles,
but I don't want to take all the credit.

Here's the gal, right here.

She helped load my guns.

It was nothing. Nothing at all.

If I've done anything to restore
law and order to this community,

I just want to tell you that I've been
amply rewarded. And I mean amply.

- Milford.
- Oh, yes, Mayor.

In gratitude for what you've done,

the citizens of Angel's Rest
are going to erect a statue of you

right on this very spot.

Oh, Milford.
Just think, a statue of you, right here.

Not yet, you fools. Not yet.
Wait till they build.

I tell you, insurance is a must
for everyone. I wouldn't be without it.

I carry protection against
every possible contingency.

I have life insurance, health insurance,
fire, accident, horseless carriage,

lightning, collision,
flood, personal liability...

- Mrs. Farnsworth is here.
- Oh, good. Send her in.

Will you excuse me? Think it over.

- Hello, my darling.
- Cora Lee.

Milford.

- Hi, Daddy.
- Hi, Daddy.

Daddy. Daddy. Daddy.

Well, you can't get insurance
against everything.

Daddy. Daddy. Daddy.